WEBVTT

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Thank you. Thank you.

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Beyond boundaries.

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What a theme, huh?

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Now, when I think of boundaries,

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I think of rules, regulations,
and restrictions.

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And I think of the parents,
and the teachers, and the supervisors,

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who hold us accountable
with regard to those boundaries.

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That's not a bad thing.

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Yeah, I know, if you're like me,
I need supervisors,

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I need someone holding me accountable
to do the right thing.

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But beyond boundaries
is something different.

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I think of those leaders, those teachers,
those supervisors, those parents

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who inspire us
to go beyond the call of duty,

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to do more than we have to,

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to do it not because they tell us,
but because we want to.

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I would like to share with you

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what the research says
about how to make that happen.

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And not just for other people,
but for yourself.

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Here is the deal, how could we inspire
people and ourselves to be self-motivated?

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There is another word.
It's called "empowerment".

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You've heard that word, right?

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Now, the management definition
of empowerment is,

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"Get it done. Just get it done.

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With fewer resources and less time,
I empower you, make it happen."

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I'm talking about feeling empowered.

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That's different.

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Feeling empowered
is when you're self-motivated.

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Now, if you want to know
if you feel empowered,

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or if your child, your student,
your worker feels empowered,

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ask them three questions.

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If they say yes to these three questions,
they will feel empowered.

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And by the way,

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this is not based on common sense, 
this is based on research.

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But you've all been there,
so it'll feel like common sense.

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Question number one: can you do it?
Albert Bandura calls it self-efficacy.

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Do you believe you can do it?

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Do you have the time,
the knowledge, and the training

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to do what we are asking you to do?

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If you answer yes, good.

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Second question: will it work?

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Do you believe that what we're asking you
to do, the process, will work?

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Albert Bandura calls that
response-efficacy:

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believing that the behavior
would lead to the ultimate outcome.

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By the way, that takes education.

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We have to show them the data,
we might show them some theory,

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we show them, teach them
why this might work.

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I just used the word 'education'.
Earlier, I used the word 'training'.

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Is there a difference?

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In elementary school,
we call it education.

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Middle school: education.
High school: education.

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College: higher education. (Laughter)

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Then you go to industry,
what do you call it?

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Training.

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You have your training department.
There must be a difference.

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Well, you know the difference.

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Do you want your kids to have
sex education or sex training?

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(Laughter)

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And your kids might answer
the question differently.

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(Laughter)

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Because you know that training means
you do the behavior and you get feedback.

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That's powerful. Powerful.

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Have you ever heard this word
'online training'?

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It's an oxymoron, isn't it?

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I mean training is to watch the behavior,

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but online training is
like plastic silverware,

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jumbo shrimp, legal brief, country music.

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(Laughter)

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I mean, it doesn't work.

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OK, so if you answer yes,
till it will work,

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third question: is it worth it?

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So we've had a training question,
we've had an educational question;

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this is the motivational question.

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Do you believe the consequences--
This is about the consequences.

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B.F. Skinner taught us this:
"selection by consequences".

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Dale Carnegie quoted
B.F. Skinner and said

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that from the day you were born,

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everything you did was because you
wanted something for doing it.

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Consequences. Is it worth it?

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So you have to convince people
that it's worth it.

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Now, by the way, if you answer
yes to those three questions,

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you feel competent, am I right?

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You feel competent
at doing worthwhile work.

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You've all been there.

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When you feel competent
at doing worthwhile work,

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you're more likely to be self-motivated.

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You've been there.
No one has to look over you.

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Here is the challenge leaders, teachers.

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How do you inspire people
to feel competent?

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Well, you give them feedback.
You give them recognition.

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You show them they are competent.

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OK. I got one more another C word: choice.

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Your common sense will tell you.

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When you believe
you have a sense of autonomy,

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a sense of choice in what you're doing,
you feel more self-motivated.

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B.F. Skinner taught us that, too,
in his book "Beyond Freedom and Dignity",

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way back in 1971.

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Reading that book changed my life,

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because I realized
that I am controlled by consequences.

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But sometimes I don't feel controlled.

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When I'm working
for a pleasant consequence,

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it feels good, it feels
like I'm working to get something.

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When I'm working to avoid
an aversive consequence,

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I feel controlled.

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That is called negative reinforcement.

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So here is a challenge, leaders:

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how do we get people
to become success seekers,

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rather than failure avoiders?

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First day of Introductory Psychology class

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- I teach two classes of 600 students,

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maybe some of you've been
in that class and remember -

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the first day I say,
"How many are here to avoid failure?"

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And 80% raise your hand.

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I say, "Well, thanks for coming,
I know you're motivated,

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but you are not happy campers.

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You probably told your friends,

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'I've got to go to class.
It's a requirement.'

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Not 'I get to go to class.
It's an opportunity.'

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You probably woke up to an alarm clock
not an opportunity clock."

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(Laughter)

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It's all in how you see it.
Really, it's all in how you see it.

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It's your paradigm.

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It's how you communicate to others
and how you communicate to yourself.

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So, Ellen Langer said
in her book "Mindfulness",

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- and psychologists know -

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"When you perceive choice,
you perceive motivation."

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You're more motivated.

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So the deal is, for yourself
sit back and reflect,

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be mindful of the choices you have.

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And talk about being a success seeker,
rather than a failure "avoider".

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It's all how you talk, how you communicate
to yourself and to others.

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I got a fourth C word: community.

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Powerful word.

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Psychologists know
that social support is critical.

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People who perceive
a sense of relatedness,

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a sense of connection with other people,
feel motivated, and they are happier.

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I want to recite a poem.

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It's called "The cookie thief"
by Valerie Cox.

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And as I recite this poem,

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- there is only two characters,
a men and a lady -

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put yourself in the situation.

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Be mindful, think about the situation
and what you would do.

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OK? Here we go.

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A woman was waiting
at an airport one night

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With several [long] hours
before her flight.

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She hunted for a book in the airport shop

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Bought a bag of cookies
and found a place to drop.

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She was engrossed in her book
but happened to see

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That the man beside her
as bold as could be

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[Grabbed] a cookie or two
from the bag between

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Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene

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She read, munched cookies,
and watched the clock

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As this gutsy cookie thief
diminished her stock

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She was getting more irritated
as the minutes ticked by

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Thinking, "If I wasn't so nice,
I'd blacken his eye."

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With each cookie she took, he took one too

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When only one was left
she wondered what he'd do

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With a smile on his face
and a nervous laugh

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He took the last cookie
and he broke it in half

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(Laughter)

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He offered her a half as he ate the other

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She snatched it from him
and thought, "Oh, brother.

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This guy has some nerve,
and he’s also rude.

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[Why] he didn't even show any gratitude."

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She had never known
when she had been so galled

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And sighed with relief
when her flight was called

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She gathered her belongings
and headed for the gate

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Refusing to look back
at the thieving ingrate

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She boarded the plane and sank in her seat

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Then she sought her book
which was almost complete

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As she reached in her baggage,
she gasped with surprise

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There was her bag of cookies
in front of her eyes

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(Laughter)

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"If mine are here,"
she moaned with despair

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"Then the others were his,
and he tried to share."

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"Too late to apologize,"
she realized with grief

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That she was the rude one,
the ingrate, the thief.

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So, where were you, when I was--

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Where were you? Who's side were you on?

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Were you thinking independent?
Or interdependent?

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I don't blame you
if you think independent.

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That's how we are raised.

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Nice guys finish last.
Squeaky wheel gets the grease.

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Gotta blow your own horn.

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Independent.

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We come in this life of ours
dependent of others,

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and then we can't wait
to become teenagers.

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We are too old to do what kids do.
Too young to do what adults do.

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So that we will do that nobody else
would do to assert our independence.

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And some of us gets stuck there.
We are stuck.

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I'll do it myself. I don't need you.

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Not good.

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We need each other.
We have to have each other's back.

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We need a sense of community.

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This independence culture that we got,
we have to move to interdependent.

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OK, four "C" words
that can fuel self-motivation,

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and I think can fuel
actively caring for people.

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Let me tell you a story
to put it all together.

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It happened over 60 years ago.
I remember it like yesterday.

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My parents asked me, "Hey, Scott.

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How would you like to get drum lessons?
How would you like to play the drums?"

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Oh man! Would I ever?

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I'm thinking of Buddy Rich
and Gene Krupa.

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Most of you guys don't know those names,
but they were the drummers.

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In those days, the drum
was in front of the band.

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They had White Pearl drum sets,
and I saw it myself. That was my vision.

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I had a vision: consequences.
That was my vision.

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And I said, "Yeah, I want
to take drum lessons."

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So the teacher would bring
his drum set next to mine.

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I didn't have a nice drum like this.

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My parents bought me
a beatable drama at an auction.

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And they said to me, "If you get better,
if your teacher tells us you get--

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- they are holding me accountable -

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teacher says you are getting better,
we will get you a better snare drum,

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and then a bass drum,
and then some symbols."

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And that was my vision,
and that kept me going:

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consequences.

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So the teacher would come in,
and he would show me stuff:

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this is how--, left hand;

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this is how Buddy Rich plays
with his left hand and his right hand.

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and then he'd do things like a flam.

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(Drum)

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Can you hear that at the back? You OK?
And this is a rim shot.

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(Drum)

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He would show me stuff.
I was just 10 years old, remember?

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And when he showed me stuff,
I felt, "Wow!"

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He showed me this little simple drumbeat,
"Watch me, Scott, watch this."

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(Drum)

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And I practiced it. And I did it.
I am feeling competent.

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He showed me a paradiddle, "Listen.
(Playing drums) Paradiddle, paradiddle."

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"You go home and practice; next week,
I want to see your paradiddling.

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I said, "Watch this."

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(Drumming)

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And I said, "Watch this."

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(Drumming)

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He said, "That's a double paradiddle.
We didn't get there yet."

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I am really ahead. (Laughter)
Because I'm self-motivated.

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I feel competent.

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I'm walking through Newberg High School,
Allentown, Pennsylvania.

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I see the music teacher, and he says,

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"I've heard you're learning
to play the drums."

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I said, "Yeah! I'm getting good."

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He said, "You can march in the band.
You can be the snare drummer."

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Wow! That felt good. Another vision.

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Then the teacher comes into my--

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- these are private lessons, by the way,
two dollars, that was a long time ago -

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He said, "Scott! Ready to do a drum roll."

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I said, "Of course,
I'm ready for a drum roll."

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And he says, "Watch this, Scott!
Here you go. Watch this."

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(Drumming)

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"Hmm... could you do that again?"

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"Scott. This is easy. Watch me."

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(Drumming)

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"Now, you practice that, and next week,
I want to see your drum roll."

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He comes back the next week
and says, "How is your drum?"

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"Hmm... I can do a paradiddle."
(Drumming)

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"That's regression. Ha-ha.
I want to see a drum roll."

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Week after week,
now we're talking about distress.

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Now we're talking about apathy.

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Now we are talking
about learned helplessness.

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That's what psychologists call it.

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I remember walking
through that elementary school

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and seeing the music teacher who said,

00:13:52.142 --> 00:13:54.690
"So, Scott, how are you doing?
How are the drums?"

00:13:54.690 --> 00:13:59.565
"Huh, not so good.
I can't do a drum roll."

00:13:59.565 --> 00:14:02.177
You know, like adults
always say, " Never say can't.

00:14:02.178 --> 00:14:05.025
You can be anything
you want to be, Scott."

00:14:05.025 --> 00:14:06.827
"No. I can't do a drum roll.

00:14:06.827 --> 00:14:09.433
I've tried and I tried,
and I've kind of given up."

00:14:09.433 --> 00:14:13.370
And he says, "Scott, when you ever
get overwhelmed, break it down."

00:14:13.371 --> 00:14:15.791
Break it down. Can you do a paradiddle?"

00:14:15.791 --> 00:14:16.835
"Yeah!"

00:14:16.835 --> 00:14:18.712
(Drumming)

00:14:18.712 --> 00:14:20.670
"OK, what's the second beat?"
"Two beats."

00:14:20.670 --> 00:14:21.962
(Drumming)

00:14:21.962 --> 00:14:25.802
"Yeah. Well, that's a drum roll, Geller.
It's two beats."

00:14:25.803 --> 00:14:26.960
(Drumming)

00:14:26.961 --> 00:14:29.501
You go home and practice,
and you say, "Dad and mama,"

00:14:29.501 --> 00:14:30.746
- remember I was just 10 -

00:14:30.746 --> 00:14:33.285
"You go 'dad and mama, dad and mama'."

00:14:33.285 --> 00:14:36.367
(Drum)

00:14:36.367 --> 00:14:37.821
It's a drum roll.

00:14:37.821 --> 00:14:39.725
That teacher came back the next week,

00:14:39.726 --> 00:14:43.357
"OK, Scott. I guess
you can't do a drum roll."

00:14:43.358 --> 00:14:44.901
I said, "Watch this."

00:14:44.901 --> 00:14:47.128
(Drumming)

00:14:47.128 --> 00:14:51.066
He said, "Wow!
How did you learn to do that?"

00:14:51.066 --> 00:14:52.531
And I showed my teacher.

00:14:52.531 --> 00:14:54.167
(Drumming)

00:14:56.077 --> 00:14:58.703
I taught my teacher. 10 years old.

00:14:58.703 --> 00:15:03.446
He said, "I've forgotten.
I got into the habit of just doing this

00:15:03.446 --> 00:15:04.718
(Drumming)

00:15:04.718 --> 00:15:07.406
and I forgot that it is two beats.

00:15:07.406 --> 00:15:11.814
You taught me how to teach
the drum roll, Scott.

00:15:12.525 --> 00:15:17.180
There is a lesson there:
we can always learn from each other.

00:15:17.180 --> 00:15:20.908
We need to have the humility
to accept feedback,

00:15:20.908 --> 00:15:23.323
and the courage to speak up.

00:15:23.323 --> 00:15:27.076
And we need to help each other
feel self-motivated.

00:15:27.077 --> 00:15:28.360
How?

00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:34.439
Give them the perception of competence.
Teach them about 'consequences drive us'.

00:15:35.150 --> 00:15:40.516
Let them perceive choice,
and let them know it's community.

00:15:40.516 --> 00:15:43.860
We're all in this together.
And we need each other.

00:15:44.748 --> 00:15:46.152
Thank you.

00:15:46.153 --> 00:15:47.613
(Applause)