Hello my dears, ladies and gentlemen in-betweens and outsider welcome to Thekenschlampe...
G: Today it's all about SEX! Please welcome Tim Kruger
T: Hi Gloria!
G: Hallo Tim! Und wer Tim Kruger genau ist und was er alles
G: Hello Tim! Who Tim is and what he is doing he'll show us here and now right on stage... Or just watch the introduction.
Here we go.
Tim Kruger is so fucking big! If you know his movies you know THAT. After he had watched nearly all
videos of the porn shop, he worked for, he knew „I could do a better job". In 2007, the hardliner
applied at the big American porn studios and shortly after, he was sitting on a plane to L.A.
In 2009, he founded his own production „Tim Tales", since he preferred doing
movies that show more of the stuff he liked. He has been commuting between Berlin
and Barcelona since.
Tim Kruger is Germany's gay pornstar No. 1 -- a man who knows about climaxes
-- as the climax of our first season.
G: How did you get into porn? Are you such a horny fucker?
T: Apparently YES! It was rather quick. I was
working at a sex shop and of course I was dealing with porn videos all day long.
And so I thought: I can do that, too.
G: You used to be more shy and lean, but lately you have turned into a real man.
T: I think even as a bean pole you can have success in porn as long as you have
other attributes to offer.
G: Other attributes... that's... well, I once watched it. So if someone wants to star in
YOUR movies they should have striking attributes. All of your actors are very
well equipped.
T: Well, most of them. That's what guys want to see.
G: You became famous because of that. Let's face the truth!
T: I hope I have additional attributes to offer.
. G: How many guys write you and
would like to...
T: Many!
G: How does your casting couch work? If someone who is watching now
would like to...
T: Take part?
G: Take part!
T: Well, he simply has to send an email to model@timtales.com
G: Now I have 10 famous guys and they all would like to apply at
TIM TALES... BIL KAULITZ of TOKIO HOTEL?
T: Definetely. If I had sex with Bill Kaulitz in front of a camera my clicks
would rise enormously.
G: ROBBIE WILLIAMS, -- my husband!
T: To do you the favour I would sleep with him. You could hold the camera... or be the fluffer.
G: To who? Well [Robbie] is a good kisser. He has already kissed ME!
BENJAMIN VON STUCKRAD BARRE
T: If I want to fuck him? Am I allowed to say "fuck" here?
G: Here at Thekenschlampe you can say whatever you want!
T: Do I sound unpicky if I said yes to everybody?
G: Well ... YEEEEES! MICHAEL FASSBENDER
T: For sure, because he has a really great butt!
G: JUSTIN BIEBER
T: He would fit in the "twinks" category, yes!
G: HARALD GLÖCKLER
T: No!
G: GEORGE CLOONEY
T: Not my type.
G: Gang Bang Story von One Direction
T: Oh yes, I would...
G: Young and tight... alright then... How does having sex in front of a camera
affect your private sex life?
T: The sex I am having in front of the camera for Tim Tales is in fact the
kind of sex I like. I don't need to play a part.
G: You turned your hobby into a career.
T: Exactly, yes!
G: As did I. Dear Tim we must drink much more...
Maybe then the two of us might shoot a porn, too.
I saw that you were at Barcelona's fashion week - as a model.
T: Yes, as a model!
G: And who did you meet?
T: Paris Hilton
G: Is she as stupid as I think she is?
T: No! She is very shy, too... Then I got ready
and then it was Showtime! The audience was full of gays, who would have thought...
G. ..."I know him!"
T: ...they were all so excited.
G: If you could make any object alive to have sex with it,
what would it be and why?
T: Oh Gloria... most probably I've had already sex with every single object!
G: I'll state ten adjectives and you have to respond.
HARD
T: Cock.
G: Soft.
T: SEX.
G: Successful.
T: How I would describe myself? Yes!
G: Unbridled.
T: Unbridled? I will become so, if we'll drink more of this bubbly..
G: Can we have some more then, please!
My dear Tim Kruger, let's get to the drinking game. Here are 5 vodkas
for each of us. If the answer is "yes" we have to drink.
T: Understood!
G: I wish I had a different job.
My character is so Berlin.
Sex -- a thing you can't get enough of.
T: Cheers
Have you ever been rejected at the door of Berghain?
G: Meeee?! The queen of Berghain... Noooooo!
T: Me neither.
G: Talking about Berghain, did you have ever sex there?
We are here at Schwuz. I meet my guests in their favourite bar... Schwuz is a club,
a club for homosexualls. Why are we here?
T: I don't go out to bars very often, generally I prefer clubs. Whenever I am in Berlin
I am here regularly.
G: Now its time for the role play Oh my god, I can feel the vodkas!
T: I'll pour some more
G: Good, go ahead! We are in the future,
and it is possible to switch body parts of two people through surgery. You are so sick of your big dick,
because it's too big to penetrate everyone.
You just want to get rid of it and exchange it with mine.
Convince me to swap our penises. Now!
T: Ok... Our penises???
G: Convince me NOW!
T: I thought you had a vagina!
G: I'm a MAN in a dress ... you still haven't figured that out?!
So we must do the thing with the vodkas...
T: The drinking game? Before!
G: Did you have ever sex ON Viagra?
Do all of you take Viagra to get a hard on?
T: Of course! A lot of guys take Viagra. I also take Viagra -- not always --
but sometimes it helps.
G: We will now do the picture quiz. My superstar guest Tim Kruger and I
will portray a famous movie scene. TIM, what is your price for the winner?
T: My price? I have it on me. That's what you can win!
G: What exactly is the price?
T: My penis. All of it!
G: REALLY???
T: No no no.. what I'm wearing.
G: Your briefs?
T: Yes!
G: I can fluff you... one moment...
YEEEES I can recommend that!
Fetishists will pay thousands on Ebay for it!
You have prepared a dirty movie scene, right?
Ok, somehow I knew that!
You have to ask: „Are you ok?"
T: Are you ok?
G: Oh yeaaaaah
T: I'll have what she's having!
G: Argh. I would love to have you, too!
Ladies and gentlemen, this was this week's Thekenschlampe.
A cheerful and intoxicating applause to my one and only starguest
TIM KRUGER.
Please follow me on youtube here!
And on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram und Tumblr!
See you very soon. Bye!