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Hello my dears, ladies and gentlemen in-betweens[br]and outsider welcome to Thekenschlampe...

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G:  Today it's all about SEX! Please welcome Tim Kruger

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T: Hi Gloria!

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G: Hallo Tim![br]Und wer Tim Kruger genau ist und was er alles

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G: Hello Tim! Who Tim is and what he is doing he'll show us here and now right on stage... Or just watch the introduction.

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Here we go.

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Tim Kruger is so fucking big! If you know his movies you know THAT. After he had watched nearly all

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videos of the porn shop, he worked for, he knew „I could do a better job". In 2007, the hardliner

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applied at the big American porn studios and shortly after, he was sitting on a plane to L.A.

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In 2009, he founded his own production „Tim Tales", since he preferred doing

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movies that show more of the stuff he liked. He has been commuting between Berlin

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and Barcelona since.

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Tim Kruger is Germany's gay pornstar No. 1 -- a man who knows about climaxes

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-- as the climax of our first season.

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G: How did you get into porn? Are you such a horny fucker?

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T: Apparently YES! It was rather quick. I was

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working at a sex shop and of course I was dealing with porn videos all day long.

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And so I thought: I can do that, too.

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G: You used to be more shy and lean, but lately you have turned into a real man.

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T: I think even as a bean pole you can have success in porn as long as you have

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other attributes to offer.

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G: Other attributes... that's... well, I once watched it. So if someone wants to star in

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YOUR movies they should have striking attributes. All of your actors are very

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well equipped.

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T: Well, most of them. That's what guys want to see.

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G: You became famous because of that. Let's face the truth!

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T: I hope I have additional attributes to offer.

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.[br]G: How many guys write you and

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would like to...

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T: Many!

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G: How does your casting couch work? If someone who is watching now

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would like to...

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T: Take part?

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G: Take part!

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T: Well, he simply has to send an email to model@timtales.com

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G: Now I have 10 famous guys and they all would like to apply at

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TIM TALES...[br]BIL KAULITZ of TOKIO HOTEL?

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T: Definetely. If I had sex with Bill Kaulitz in front of a camera my clicks

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would rise enormously.

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G: ROBBIE WILLIAMS, -- my husband!

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T: To do you the favour I would sleep with him. You could hold the camera... or be the fluffer.

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G: To who? Well [Robbie] is a good kisser. He has already kissed ME!

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BENJAMIN VON STUCKRAD BARRE

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T: If I want to fuck him? Am I allowed to say "fuck" here?

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G: Here at Thekenschlampe you can say whatever you want!

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T: Do I sound unpicky if I said yes to everybody?

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G: Well ... YEEEEES! [br]MICHAEL FASSBENDER

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T: For sure, because he has a really great butt!

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G: JUSTIN BIEBER

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T: He would fit in the "twinks" category, yes!

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G: HARALD GLÖCKLER

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T: No!

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G: GEORGE CLOONEY

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T: Not my type.

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G: Gang Bang Story von One Direction

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T: Oh yes, I would...

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G: Young and tight... alright then...[br]How does having sex in front of a camera

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affect your private sex life?

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T: The sex I am having in front of the camera for Tim Tales is in fact the

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kind of sex I like. I don't need to play a part.

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G: You turned your hobby into a career.

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T: Exactly, yes!

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G: As did I.[br]Dear Tim we must drink much more...

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Maybe then the two of us might shoot a porn, too.

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I saw that you were at Barcelona's fashion week - as a model.

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T: Yes, as a model!

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G: And who did you meet?

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T: Paris Hilton

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G: Is she as stupid as I think she is?

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T: No! She is very shy, too...[br]Then I got ready

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and then it was Showtime![br]The audience was full of gays, who would have thought...

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G. ..."I know him!"

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T: ...they were all so excited.

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G: If you could make any object alive to have sex with it,

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what would it be and why?

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T: Oh Gloria... most probably I've had already sex with every single object!

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G: I'll state ten adjectives and you have to respond.

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HARD

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T: Cock.

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G: Soft.

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T: SEX.

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G: Successful.

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T: How I would describe myself? Yes!

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G: Unbridled.

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T: Unbridled? I will become so, if we'll drink more of this bubbly..

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G:  Can we have some more then, please!

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My dear Tim Kruger, let's get to the drinking game. Here are 5 vodkas

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for each of us. If the answer is "yes" we have to drink.

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T: Understood!

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G: I wish I had a different job.

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My character is so Berlin.

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Sex -- a thing you can't get enough of.

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T: Cheers

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Have you ever been rejected at the door of Berghain?

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G: Meeee?! The queen of Berghain... Noooooo!

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T: Me neither.

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G: Talking about Berghain, did you have ever sex there?

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We are here at Schwuz. I meet my guests in their favourite bar... Schwuz is a club,

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a club for homosexualls. Why are we here?

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T: I don't go out to bars very often, generally I prefer clubs. Whenever I am in Berlin

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I am here regularly.

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G: Now its time for the role play[br]Oh my god, I can feel the vodkas!

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T: I'll pour some more

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G: Good, go ahead![br]We are in the future,

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and it is possible to switch body parts of two people through surgery. You are so sick of your big dick,

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because it's too big to penetrate everyone.

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You just want to get rid of it and exchange it with mine.

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Convince me to swap our penises. Now!

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T: Ok... Our penises???

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G: Convince me NOW!

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T: I thought you had a vagina!

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G: I'm a MAN in a dress ... you still haven't figured that out?!

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So we must do the thing with the vodkas...

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T: The drinking game? Before!

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G: Did you have ever sex ON Viagra?

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Do all of you take Viagra to get a hard on?

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T: Of course! A lot of guys take Viagra.[br]I also take Viagra -- not always --

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but sometimes it helps.

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G: We will now do the picture quiz. My superstar guest Tim Kruger and I

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will portray a famous movie scene. TIM, what is your price for the winner?

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T: My price? I have it on me. That's what you can win!

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G: What exactly is the price?

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T: My penis. All of it!

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G: REALLY???

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T: No no no.. what I'm wearing.

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G: Your briefs?

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T: Yes!

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G: I can fluff you... one moment...

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YEEEES I can recommend that!

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Fetishists will pay thousands on Ebay for it!

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You have prepared a dirty movie scene, right?

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Ok, somehow I knew that!

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You have to ask: „Are you ok?"

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T: Are you ok?

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G: Oh yeaaaaah

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T: I'll have what she's having!

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G: Argh. I would love to have you, too!

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Ladies and gentlemen, this was this week's Thekenschlampe.

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A cheerful and intoxicating applause to my one and only starguest

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TIM KRUGER.

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Please follow me on youtube here!

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And on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram und Tumblr!

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See you very soon. Bye!