WEBVTT 00:00:00.533 --> 00:00:03.332 (girl) I sound like a 14 year old, but my boobs are huge! 00:00:03.336 --> 00:00:04.667 (giggling) 00:00:04.667 --> 00:00:06.003 (Ian) SHUT UP!! 00:00:07.033 --> 00:00:10.112 Okay, so the directions say that you should take-- 00:00:10.112 --> 00:00:11.555 Yeah, yeah, whatever. 00:00:13.729 --> 00:00:15.454 - Mmm. - Great! 00:00:15.727 --> 00:00:17.397 You only left me, like... 00:00:17.987 --> 00:00:19.008 two pills! 00:00:19.008 --> 00:00:21.076 Well, I guess one of us is gonna have 00:00:21.076 --> 00:00:23.057 a way cooler voice for the audition then. 00:00:30.360 --> 00:00:34.033 (speaking Japanese) 00:00:34.550 --> 00:00:36.923 I've searched long and hard for someone to voice 00:00:36.923 --> 00:00:39.789 the hero, Bathuhansumaru, for my new anime. 00:00:39.973 --> 00:00:41.459 And who might you be? 00:00:41.503 --> 00:00:43.189 (squeaky voice) Hi, my name is Ian and... 00:00:43.259 --> 00:00:44.976 What the f*cking frick?! 00:00:45.260 --> 00:00:46.743 Noooooo! (sobbing) 00:00:46.743 --> 00:00:47.927 (laughter) 00:00:47.927 --> 00:00:49.234 (speaking Japanese) 00:00:49.234 --> 00:00:51.141 Wow! I haven't heard a full-grown man 00:00:51.141 --> 00:00:52.587 have such a kawaii girl voice! 00:00:52.587 --> 00:00:54.742 - (speaking Japanese) - And who might you be? 00:00:54.834 --> 00:00:57.061 (extra deep voice) Uh, hi. I'm Anthony and-- 00:00:57.461 --> 00:01:00.134 Holy smokes, I sound like the sexiest, 00:01:00.524 --> 00:01:03.136 strongest, buffest, blackest man on Earth. 00:01:03.495 --> 00:01:07.374 Um...e-excuse me for a moment, kind sirs. 00:01:07.735 --> 00:01:10.549 (blubbering) 00:01:10.966 --> 00:01:12.305 Life is ruined! 00:01:12.305 --> 00:01:15.032 This was my dream and my greed has destroyed it! 00:01:15.532 --> 00:01:17.404 I am so sad! 00:01:17.709 --> 00:01:19.169 You don't sound sad. 00:01:19.212 --> 00:01:21.257 Can't you see I'm crying tears of sadness? 00:01:21.334 --> 00:01:24.767 My heart feels like it's going to shrivel up and fall out of my anus. 00:01:25.235 --> 00:01:26.704 I just want to die! 00:01:27.152 --> 00:01:29.562 (whining) 00:01:29.783 --> 00:01:31.928 (whining continues) 00:01:31.998 --> 00:01:36.383 (more blubbering and whining) 00:01:36.413 --> 00:01:37.480 Okay! 00:01:37.496 --> 00:01:38.757 You can shut the hell up now. 00:01:40.730 --> 00:01:44.540 (speaking Japanese) 00:01:44.568 --> 00:01:46.344 Happy to have both of you boys back! 00:01:46.344 --> 00:01:47.884 To get an idea of your acting ability, 00:01:47.884 --> 00:01:50.205 I'm gonna have you read some famous lines from other animes. 00:01:50.373 --> 00:01:52.459 DEATH NOTE KIRA'S LAUGH 00:01:52.846 --> 00:01:58.825 (delightfully evil cackle) 00:02:00.555 --> 00:02:07.315 (giggles childishly) 00:02:08.562 --> 00:02:10.083 That's right! I am Kira. 00:02:12.731 --> 00:02:14.469 I am writing down notes. 00:02:14.527 --> 00:02:16.318 ATTACK ON TITAN EREN'S MOTHER'S DEATH 00:02:16.500 --> 00:02:18.812 (deep voice) The Titans are coming in. Eren! 00:02:18.983 --> 00:02:21.590 Take Mikasa and ruuuuuun! 00:02:21.590 --> 00:02:23.555 (shrill voice) I will carry you and run. 00:02:24.494 --> 00:02:27.288 Please, just listen to what I say for once. 00:02:27.404 --> 00:02:30.038 Just one last time... 00:02:30.150 --> 00:02:31.416 (groaning) 00:02:31.501 --> 00:02:34.569 Nooooooo! 00:02:34.584 --> 00:02:36.205 I am writing down notes! 00:02:36.235 --> 00:02:37.936 (speaking testily in Japanese) 00:02:37.963 --> 00:02:40.342 You don't have to translate my actions, you idiot! 00:02:40.342 --> 00:02:43.297 (speaking angrily in Japanese) 00:02:43.311 --> 00:02:45.674 You also don't have to translate whatever I say directly to you! 00:02:45.708 --> 00:02:48.609 (speaking with frustration) 00:02:48.609 --> 00:02:50.240 Holy sh*t! You're really dumb. 00:02:51.563 --> 00:02:52.738 I'm taking notes again! 00:02:52.738 --> 00:02:54.116 - (screaming in Japanese) - AAAH! 00:02:54.119 --> 00:02:56.620 (punching, screams of pain, and shattering glass) 00:02:56.866 --> 00:02:59.915 Now we will have you read lines from our totally new, original show, 00:02:59.956 --> 00:03:02.992 Attack on Sailor Death Ball Z: Bebop Alchemist. 00:03:03.136 --> 00:03:04.675 What?! You guys just took all the names 00:03:04.675 --> 00:03:06.191 of all the popular animes and just SMASHED-- 00:03:08.109 --> 00:03:10.460 No matter how far this Death Ball Z takes us, 00:03:10.460 --> 00:03:14.462 I'm still [?] who was killed by Titans and dragons. 00:03:14.586 --> 00:03:16.806 Dang it. If we don't get into Neo-Tokyo 00:03:16.822 --> 00:03:19.118 before the giant tentacle monsters attack 00:03:19.118 --> 00:03:21.325 our high school robot slave women, 00:03:21.325 --> 00:03:24.512 we'll never be able to merge into our final forms. 00:03:24.678 --> 00:03:26.486 Yaaaaataaa! 00:03:26.486 --> 00:03:28.052 Hentai. 00:03:28.085 --> 00:03:32.044 (speaking angrily in Japanese) 00:03:32.079 --> 00:03:33.583 Oh my god! 00:03:33.590 --> 00:03:36.785 That was the worst reading I've ever heard in my life. 00:03:36.794 --> 00:03:39.653 Get the f*ck out of my anime dojo now! 00:03:39.725 --> 00:03:43.044 (sobbing girlishly) 00:03:43.738 --> 00:03:46.858 Dammit, I have failed the honor of my famliy. 00:03:47.230 --> 00:03:49.643 It's a shame he was such a terrible actor. 00:03:49.645 --> 00:03:51.770 His voice was so undeniably sexy. 00:03:51.956 --> 00:03:53.751 I'm glad it's finally over. 00:03:53.751 --> 00:03:56.994 I've been holding in a fart the whole time. 00:03:57.467 --> 00:03:57.972 (farting) 00:03:57.972 --> 00:04:01.866 I must do something to turn this around. 00:04:02.255 --> 00:04:05.753 Hey. If you give us voice roles for your anime, 00:04:05.753 --> 00:04:09.536 I'll let you attack my Death Ball Z. 00:04:09.839 --> 00:04:10.846 Mmmm. 00:04:10.855 --> 00:04:14.856 Dammit! His sexy man voice level is over 9,000!!! 00:04:17.219 --> 00:04:19.840 I'm so excited to hear my voice as one of the main characters of 00:04:19.840 --> 00:04:23.138 Attack on Sailor Death Ball Z: Bebop Alchemist High Schooler! 00:04:23.418 --> 00:04:25.509 Yeah, man. Me too. 00:04:26.669 --> 00:04:30.069 Come on, Muzaz! Let's go kill some Mecadragons! 00:04:31.701 --> 00:04:33.438 That's not either of our voices. 00:04:33.820 --> 00:04:37.334 According to my calculations, we'll intercept them in five minutes! 00:04:38.154 --> 00:04:41.359 Yo, man. I think your calculations were wrong. 00:04:47.065 --> 00:04:49.144 Wait, that's it?! We're dead already? 00:04:49.155 --> 00:04:51.695 And I was just a fricking squirrel for like two seconds? 00:04:52.224 --> 00:04:53.338 Awesome! 00:04:53.346 --> 00:04:57.561 Yeah, pimpin' my body out to the director was totally worth it. 00:04:57.636 --> 00:05:00.595 (laughter and giggling) 00:05:00.919 --> 00:05:07.811 (giggling continues) 00:05:10.115 --> 00:05:11.553 Seriously, shut the f*ck up. 00:05:15.237 --> 00:05:17.464 Hey, guys! Thanks so much for watching! 00:05:17.468 --> 00:05:20.842 Click the video on the left to see bloopers and this: 00:05:21.081 --> 00:05:22.859 - ♪ Cake farts ♪ - (beatboxing) 00:05:23.221 --> 00:05:24.804 ♪ Cake, cake, cake farts ♪ 00:05:24.844 --> 00:05:27.491 And click that sexy video on the right to see the series premiere 00:05:27.491 --> 00:05:29.730 of our anime, Oishi High School Battle. 00:05:30.433 --> 00:05:31.833 Panty dagger! 00:05:34.095 --> 00:05:36.166 See, Noodles? Totally normal. 00:05:37.063 --> 00:05:40.393 Dat girl got some nice jubblies. Mmmm. 00:05:41.211 --> 00:05:44.132 And click that subscribe button and I will love you forever 00:05:44.137 --> 00:05:47.280 and ever and--(giggling) 00:05:47.440 --> 00:05:51.463 (giggling continues) 00:05:51.523 --> 00:05:53.336 Girl. Shut the hell up.