WEBVTT
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(girl) I sound like a 14 year old,
but my boobs are huge!
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(giggling)
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(Ian) SHUT UP!!
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Okay, so the directions say
that you should take--
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Yeah, yeah, whatever.
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- Mmm.
- Great!
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You only left me, like...
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two pills!
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Well, I guess one of us is gonna have
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a way cooler voice for the audition then.
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(speaking Japanese)
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I've searched long and hard
for someone to voice
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the hero, Bathuhansumaru,
for my new anime.
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And who might you be?
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(squeaky voice) Hi, my name is Ian and...
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What the f*cking frick?!
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Noooooo! (sobbing)
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(laughter)
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(speaking Japanese)
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Wow! I haven't heard a full-grown man
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have such a kawaii girl voice!
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- (speaking Japanese)
- And who might you be?
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(extra deep voice) Uh, hi. I'm Anthony and--
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Holy smokes, I sound like the sexiest,
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strongest, buffest, blackest man on Earth.
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Um...e-excuse me for a moment, kind sirs.
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(blubbering)
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Life is ruined!
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This was my dream and
my greed has destroyed it!
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I am so sad!
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You don't sound sad.
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Can't you see I'm crying tears of sadness?
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My heart feels like it's going
to shrivel up and fall out of my anus.
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I just want to die!
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(whining)
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(whining continues)
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(more blubbering and whining)
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Okay!
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You can shut the hell up now.
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(speaking Japanese)
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Happy to have both of you boys back!
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To get an idea of your acting ability,
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I'm gonna have you read some
famous lines from other animes.
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DEATH NOTE
KIRA'S LAUGH
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(delightfully evil cackle)
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(giggles childishly)
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That's right! I am Kira.
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I am writing down notes.
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ATTACK ON TITAN
EREN'S MOTHER'S DEATH
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(deep voice) The Titans are coming in. Eren!
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Take Mikasa and ruuuuuun!
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(shrill voice) I will carry you and run.
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Please, just listen
to what I say for once.
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Just one last time...
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(groaning)
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Nooooooo!
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I am writing down notes!
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(speaking testily in Japanese)
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You don't have to translate
my actions, you idiot!
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(speaking angrily in Japanese)
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You also don't have to translate
whatever I say directly to you!
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(speaking with frustration)
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Holy sh*t! You're really dumb.
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I'm taking notes again!
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- (screaming in Japanese)
- AAAH!
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(punching, screams of pain, and shattering glass)
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Now we will have you read lines
from our totally new, original show,
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Attack on Sailor Death Ball Z:
Bebop Alchemist.
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What?! You guys just took all the names
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of all the popular animes and just SMASHED--
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No matter how far this Death Ball Z takes us,
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I'm still [?] who was killed
by Titans and dragons.
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Dang it. If we don't get into Neo-Tokyo
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before the giant tentacle monsters attack
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our high school robot slave women,
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we'll never be able to merge
into our final forms.
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Yaaaaataaa!
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Hentai.
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(speaking angrily in Japanese)
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Oh my god!
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That was the worst reading
I've ever heard in my life.
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Get the f*ck out of my anime dojo now!
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(sobbing girlishly)
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Dammit, I have failed the honor of my famliy.
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It's a shame he was such a terrible actor.
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His voice was so undeniably sexy.
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I'm glad it's finally over.
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I've been holding in a fart the whole time.
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(farting)
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I must do something to turn this around.
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Hey. If you give us
voice roles for your anime,
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I'll let you attack my Death Ball Z.
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Mmmm.
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Dammit! His sexy man voice level is over 9,000!!!
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I'm so excited to hear my voice
as one of the main characters of
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Attack on Sailor Death Ball Z:
Bebop Alchemist High Schooler!
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Yeah, man. Me too.
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Come on, Muzaz!
Let's go kill some Mecadragons!
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That's not either of our voices.
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According to my calculations,
we'll intercept them in five minutes!
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Yo, man. I think your calculations were wrong.
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Wait, that's it?! We're dead already?
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And I was just a fricking squirrel
for like two seconds?
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Awesome!
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Yeah, pimpin' my body out
to the director was totally worth it.
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(laughter and giggling)
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(giggling continues)
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Seriously, shut the f*ck up.
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Hey, guys! Thanks so much for watching!
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Click the video on the left
to see bloopers and this:
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- ♪ Cake farts ♪
- (beatboxing)
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♪ Cake, cake, cake farts ♪
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And click that sexy video on the right
to see the series premiere
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of our anime, Oishi High School Battle.
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Panty dagger!
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See, Noodles? Totally normal.
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Dat girl got some nice jubblies. Mmmm.
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And click that subscribe button
and I will love you forever
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and ever and--(giggling)
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(giggling continues)
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Girl. Shut the hell up.