0:00:02.334,0:00:04.707 There are this two young fish swimming along 0:00:04.707,0:00:07.803 and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way 0:00:07.803,0:00:11.671 who nodds at them and says,"morning boys, hows the water?" 0:00:11.671,0:00:13.638 and the two young fish swim on for a bit 0:00:13.638,0:00:15.469 and then eventually one of them looks over the other 0:00:15.469,0:00:21.270 and goes "What the hell is water?" 0:00:21.270,0:00:23.098 The point to the fish story is merely the that most 0:00:23.098,0:00:25.434 obvious important realities are often the once 0:00:25.434,0:00:28.333 that are hardest to see and talk about. 0:00:28.333,0:00:30.267 Stated as an English sentence, of course, 0:00:30.267,0:00:33.152 this is just a banal platitude, 0:00:33.152,0:00:36.614 but the fact is that in the day to day trenches of adult existence, 0:00:36.614,0:00:40.197 banal platitudes can have a life or death importance. 0:00:40.197,0:00:42.500 The plain fact is that you graduating seniors 0:00:42.500,0:00:48.501 do not yet have any clue what "day in day out" really means. 0:00:48.501,0:00:51.430 There happen to be whole, large parts of adult American life 0:00:51.430,0:00:55.383 that nobody talks about in commencement speeches. 0:00:55.383,0:01:00.179 One such part involves boredom, routine, and petty frustration. 0:01:00.179,0:01:04.183 The parents and older folks here will know all too well [br]what I'm talking about.[br] 0:01:04.183,0:01:07.200 By way of example, let's say it's an average adult day, 0:01:07.200,0:01:10.002 and you get up in the morning, 0:01:10.002,0:01:13.197 go to your challenging, white-collar, college-graduate job, 0:01:13.197,0:01:15.268 and you work hard for eight or ten hours, 0:01:15.268,0:01:16.696 and at the end of the day you're tired 0:01:16.696,0:01:18.163 and somewhat stressed 0:01:18.163,0:01:20.367 and all you want is to go home and have a good supper 0:01:20.367,0:01:21.707 and maybe unwind for an hour, 0:01:21.707,0:01:23.619 and then hit the sack early because, 0:01:23.619,0:01:26.497 of course, you have to get up the next day and do it all again. 0:01:26.497,0:01:28.875 But then you remember there's no food at home. 0:01:28.875,0:01:30.871 You haven't had time to shop this week 0:01:30.871,0:01:33.004 because of your challenging job, 0:01:33.004,0:01:35.381 and so now after work you have to get in your car 0:01:35.381,0:01:37.466 and drive to the supermarket. 0:01:37.466,0:01:38.938 It's the end of the work day 0:01:38.938,0:01:41.637 and the traffic is apt to be: very bad. 0:01:41.637,0:01:44.766 So getting to the store takes way longer than it should, 0:01:44.766,0:01:47.977 and when you finally get there, the supermarket is very crowded, 0:01:47.977,0:01:49.433 because of course it's the time of day 0:01:49.433,0:01:50.735 when all the other people with jobs also 0:01:50.735,0:01:53.531 try to squeeze in some grocery shopping. 0:01:53.531,0:01:55.785 But you can't just get in and quickly out; 0:01:55.785,0:01:57.637 you have to wander all over the huge, 0:01:57.637,0:02:01.407 over-lit store's confusing aisles to find the stuff you want 0:02:01.407,0:02:03.104 and you have to maneuver your junky cart 0:02:03.104,0:02:06.079 through all these other tired, hurried people with carts 0:02:06.079,0:02:08.836 (et cetera, et cetera, cutting stuff out because this is a long ceremony) 0:02:08.836,0:02:12.919 and eventually you get all your supper supplies, 0:02:12.919,0:02:14.083 except now it turns out 0:02:14.083,0:02:15.569 there aren't enough check-out lanes open 0:02:15.569,0:02:17.899 even though it's the end-of-the-day rush. 0:02:17.899,0:02:19.968 So the checkout line is incredibly long, 0:02:19.968,0:02:22.053 which is stupid and infuriating. 0:02:22.053,0:02:23.633 But you can't take your frustration out 0:02:23.633,0:02:26.224 on the frantic lady working the register, 0:02:26.224,0:02:27.605 who is overworked at a job 0:02:27.605,0:02:29.143 whose daily tedium and meaninglessness 0:02:29.143,0:02:31.864 surpasses the imagination of any of us here 0:02:31.864,0:02:34.107 at a prestigious college. 0:02:34.107,0:02:36.903 But anyway, you finally get to the checkout line's front, 0:02:36.903,0:02:38.537 and you pay for your food, 0:02:38.537,0:02:40.905 and you get told to "Have a nice day" 0:02:40.905,0:02:44.655 in a voice that is the absolute voice of death. 0:02:44.655,0:02:46.701 Then you have to take your creepy, flimsy, 0:02:46.701,0:02:48.669 plastic bags of groceries in your cart 0:02:48.669,0:02:52.333 with the one crazy wheel that pulls maddeningly to the left, 0:02:52.333,0:02:55.067 all the way out through the crowded, bumpy, 0:02:55.067,0:02:56.270 littery parking lot, 0:02:56.270,0:02:58.422 and then you have to drive all the way home through slow, 0:02:58.422,0:03:01.050 heavy, SUV-intensive, rush-hour traffic, 0:03:01.050,0:03:03.227 et cetera et cetera. 0:03:03.227,0:03:05.513 Everyone here has done this, of course. 0:03:05.513,0:03:09.107 But it hasn't yet been part of you graduates' actual life routine, 0:03:09.107,0:03:12.698 day after week after month after year. 0:03:12.698,0:03:15.079 But it will be. 0:03:15.079,0:03:16.983 And many more dreary, annoying, 0:03:16.983,0:03:20.632 seemingly meaningless routines besides. 0:03:20.632,0:03:21.874 But that is not the point. 0:03:21.874,0:03:25.116 The point is that petty, frustrating crap like this 0:03:25.116,0:03:26.869 is exactly where the work of choosing is gonna come in. 0:03:26.869,0:03:30.966 Because the traffic jams and crowded aisles 0:03:30.966,0:03:34.129 and long checkout lines give me time to think, 0:03:34.129,0:03:36.236 and if I don't make a conscious decision 0:03:36.236,0:03:38.754 about how to think and what to pay attention to, 0:03:38.754,0:03:41.382 I'm gonna be pissed and miserable every time 0:03:41.382,0:03:42.773 I have to shop. 0:03:42.773,0:03:44.735 Because my natural default setting is 0:03:44.735,0:03:46.733 the certainty that situations like this 0:03:46.733,0:03:48.806 are really all about me. 0:03:48.806,0:03:51.191 About MY hungriness and MY fatigue 0:03:51.191,0:03:53.367 and MY desire to just get home, 0:03:53.367,0:03:55.406 and it's going to seem for all the world 0:03:55.406,0:03:58.672 like everybody else is just in my way. 0:03:58.672,0:04:00.966 And who are all these people in my way? 0:04:00.966,0:04:02.841 And look at how repulsive most of them are, 0:04:02.841,0:04:04.204 and how stupid and cow-like 0:04:04.204,0:04:06.339 and dead-eyed and nonhuman 0:04:06.339,0:04:07.950 they seem in the checkout line, 0:04:07.950,0:04:09.505 or at how annoying and rude it is 0:04:09.505,0:04:11.454 that people are talking loudly on cell phones 0:04:11.454,0:04:13.122 in the middle of the line. 0:04:13.122,0:04:17.050 And look at how deeply and personally unfair this is. 0:04:17.050,0:04:19.241 If I choose to think this way in a store 0:04:19.241,0:04:21.044 and on the freeway, fine. 0:04:21.044,0:04:22.571 Lots of us do. 0:04:22.571,0:04:24.700 Except thinking this way tends to be so easy 0:04:24.700,0:04:27.602 and automatic that it doesn't have to be a choice. 0:04:27.602,0:04:30.065 It is my natural default setting. 0:04:30.065,0:04:32.871 It's the automatic way that I experience the boring, 0:04:32.871,0:04:36.145 frustrating, crowded parts of adult life 0:04:36.145,0:04:37.775 when I'm operating on the automatic, 0:04:37.775,0:04:41.103 unconscious belief that I am the center of the world, 0:04:41.103,0:04:42.944 and that my immediate needs and feelings 0:04:42.944,0:04:45.875 are what should determine the world's priorities. 0:04:45.875,0:04:47.072 The thing is that, of course, 0:04:47.072,0:04:48.004 there are totally different ways 0:04:48.004,0:04:51.002 to think about these kinds of situations. 0:04:51.002,0:04:52.286 In this traffic, 0:04:52.286,0:04:55.437 all these vehicles stopped and idling in my way, 0:04:55.437,0:04:58.043 it's not impossible that some of these people in SUV's 0:04:58.043,0:05:01.084 have been in horrible auto accidents in the past, 0:05:01.084,0:05:03.807 and now find driving so terrifying that their therapist 0:05:03.807,0:05:07.051 has all but ordered them to get a huge, heavy SUV 0:05:07.051,0:05:10.039 so they can feel safe enough to drive 0:05:10.039,0:05:12.700 Or I can choose to force myself to consider the likelihood 0:05:12.700,0:05:15.275 that everyone else in the supermarket's checkout line 0:05:15.275,0:05:18.396 is just as bored and frustrated as I am, 0:05:18.396,0:05:20.605 and that some of these people probably have much harder, 0:05:20.605,0:05:23.609 more tedious and painful lives than I do. 0:05:23.609,0:05:27.538 Again, please don't think that I'm giving you moral advice, 0:05:27.538,0:05:29.866 or that I'm saying you are supposed to think this way, 0:05:29.866,0:05:32.940 or that anyone expects you to just automatically do it. 0:05:32.940,0:05:34.467 Because it's hard. 0:05:34.467,0:05:37.672 It takes will and effort, and if you are like me, 0:05:37.672,0:05:40.040 some days you won't be able to do it, 0:05:40.040,0:05:42.475 or you just flat out won't want to. 0:05:42.475,0:05:43.838 But most days, 0:05:43.838,0:05:46.590 if you're aware enough to give yourself a choice, 0:05:46.590,0:05:48.740 you can choose to look differently at this fat, 0:05:48.740,0:05:50.678 dead-eyed, over-made-up lady 0:05:50.678,0:05:53.972 who just screamed at her kid in the checkout line. 0:05:53.972,0:05:56.369 Maybe she's not usually like this. 0:05:56.369,0:05:58.185 Maybe she's been up three straight nights 0:05:58.185,0:06:01.480 holding the hand of a husband who is dying of bone cancer. 0:06:01.480,0:06:02.739 Or maybe this very lady 0:06:02.739,0:06:05.634 is the low-wage clerk at the motor vehicle department, 0:06:05.634,0:06:07.278 who just yesterday helped your spouse 0:06:07.278,0:06:10.571 resolve a horrific, infuriating, red-tape problem 0:06:10.571,0:06:14.339 through some small act of bureaucratic kindness. 0:06:14.339,0:06:15.968 Of course, none of this is likely, 0:06:15.968,0:06:18.414 but it's also not impossible. 0:06:18.414,0:06:21.125 It just depends what you what to consider. 0:06:21.125,0:06:23.044 If you're automatically sure 0:06:23.044,0:06:25.139 that you know what reality is, 0:06:25.139,0:06:27.435 and who and what is really important 0:06:27.435,0:06:29.508 if you want to operate on your default setting, 0:06:29.508,0:06:31.642 then you, like me, 0:06:31.642,0:06:33.512 probably won't consider possibilities 0:06:33.512,0:06:36.182 that aren't annoying and miserable. 0:06:36.182,0:06:40.811 But if you really learn how think, how to pay attention, 0:06:40.811,0:06:43.470 then you will know there are other options. 0:06:43.470,0:06:45.835 It will actually be within your power 0:06:45.835,0:06:49.007 to experience a crowded, hot, slow, 0:06:49.007,0:06:52.633 consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, 0:06:52.633,0:06:54.169 but sacred, 0:06:54.169,0:06:57.119 on fire with the same force that made the stars: 0:06:57.119,0:06:59.266 love, fellowship, 0:06:59.266,0:07:03.709 the mystical oneness of all things deep down. 0:07:03.709,0:07:06.379 Not that that mystical stuff is necessarily true. 0:07:06.379,0:07:08.339 The only thing that's capital-T True 0:07:08.339,0:07:12.260 is that you get to decide how you're gonna try to see it.[br] 0:07:12.260,0:07:13.437 This, I submit, 0:07:13.437,0:07:16.101 is the freedom of a real education, 0:07:16.101,0:07:18.307 of learning how to be well-adjusted. 0:07:18.307,0:07:21.036 You get to consciously decide what has meaning 0:07:21.036,0:07:22.907 and what doesn't. 0:07:22.907,0:07:24.980 That is real freedom. 0:07:24.980,0:07:26.902 That is being educated, 0:07:26.902,0:07:29.871 and understanding how to think. 0:07:29.871,0:07:32.167 The alternative is unconsciousness, 0:07:32.167,0:07:35.073 the default setting, the rat race, 0:07:35.073,0:07:37.736 the constant gnawing sense of having had, 0:07:37.736,0:07:45.084 and lost, some infinite thing. 0:07:45.084,0:07:46.293 I know that this stuff probably 0:07:46.293,0:07:49.302 doesn't sound fun and breezy or grandly inspirational 0:07:49.302,0:07:52.603 the way a commencement speech is supposed to sound. 0:07:52.603,0:07:54.139 What it is, as far as I can see, 0:07:54.139,0:07:56.106 is the capital-T Truth, 0:07:56.106,0:07:59.105 with a whole lot of rhetorical niceties stripped away. 0:07:59.105,0:07:59.905 You are, of course, 0:07:59.905,0:08:03.375 free to think of it whatever you wish. 0:08:03.375,0:08:04.895 But please don't just dismiss it 0:08:04.895,0:08:08.473 as just some finger-wagging Dr. Laura sermon. 0:08:08.473,0:08:10.539 None of this stuff is really about morality 0:08:10.539,0:08:12.445 or religion or dogma 0:08:12.445,0:08:16.323 or big fancy questions of life after death. 0:08:16.323,0:08:20.832 The capital-T Truth is about life BEFORE death. 0:08:20.832,0:08:23.975 It is about the real value of a real education, 0:08:23.975,0:08:26.083 which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, 0:08:26.083,0:08:31.102 and everything to do with simple awareness; 0:08:31.102,0:08:34.100 awareness of what is so real and essential, 0:08:34.100,0:08:36.259 so hidden in plain sight all around us, 0:08:36.259,0:08:37.552 all the time, 0:08:37.552,0:08:41.874 that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 0:08:41.874,0:08:43.184 "This is water." 0:08:43.184,0:08:46.228 "This is water."