0:00:01.200,0:00:04.520
When I was a child,[br]I knew I had superpowers.

0:00:06.920,0:00:08.135
That's right.

0:00:08.160,0:00:09.256
(Laughter)

0:00:09.280,0:00:13.296
I thought I was absolutely amazing[br]because I could understand

0:00:13.320,0:00:15.456
and relate to the feelings[br]of brown people,

0:00:15.480,0:00:18.880
like my grandfather,[br]a conservative Muslim guy.

0:00:19.360,0:00:24.256
And also, I could understand[br]my Afghan mother, my Pakistani father,

0:00:24.280,0:00:28.080
not so religious[br]but laid-back, fairly liberal.

0:00:28.480,0:00:30.096
And of course, I could understand

0:00:30.120,0:00:32.536
and relate to the feelings[br]of white people.

0:00:32.560,0:00:34.400
The white Norwegians of my country.

0:00:35.480,0:00:38.056
You know, white, brown, whatever --

0:00:38.080,0:00:39.896
I loved them all.

0:00:39.920,0:00:41.176
I understood them all,

0:00:41.200,0:00:43.536
even if they didn't always[br]understand each other,

0:00:43.560,0:00:44.800
they were all my people.

0:00:45.600,0:00:48.536
My father, though,[br]was always really worried.

0:00:48.560,0:00:51.896
He kept saying that[br]even with the best education,

0:00:51.920,0:00:55.096
I was not going to get a fair shake.

0:00:55.120,0:00:58.536
I would still face discrimination,[br]according to him.

0:00:58.560,0:01:01.376
And that the only way[br]to be accepted by white people

0:01:01.400,0:01:03.576
would be to become famous.

0:01:03.600,0:01:07.600
Now, mind you, he had this conversation[br]with me when I was seven years old.

0:01:08.440,0:01:11.416
So while I'm seven years old, he said,

0:01:11.440,0:01:14.816
"Look, so it's either got to be sports,[br]or it's got to be music."

0:01:14.840,0:01:19.296
He didn't know anything about sports --[br]bless him -- so it was music.

0:01:19.320,0:01:23.656
So when I was seven years old,[br]he gathered all my toys, all my dolls,

0:01:23.680,0:01:25.280
and he threw them all away.

0:01:26.160,0:01:30.016
In exchange he gave me[br]a crappy little Casio keyboard and --

0:01:30.040,0:01:31.256
(Laughter)

0:01:31.280,0:01:33.296
Yeah. And singing lessons.

0:01:33.320,0:01:38.096
And he forced me, basically, to practice[br]for hours and hours every single day.

0:01:38.120,0:01:42.376
Very quickly, he also had me performing[br]for larger and larger audiences,

0:01:42.400,0:01:46.176
and bizarrely, I became[br]almost a kind of poster child

0:01:46.200,0:01:48.280
for Norwegian multiculturalism.

0:01:48.760,0:01:50.496
I felt very proud, of course.

0:01:50.520,0:01:53.856
Because even the newspapers at this point

0:01:53.880,0:01:56.456
were starting to write[br]nice things about brown people,

0:01:56.480,0:01:59.640
so I could feel[br]that my superpower was growing.

0:02:00.960,0:02:03.936
So when I was 12 years old,[br]walking home from school,

0:02:03.960,0:02:05.176
I took a little detour

0:02:05.200,0:02:08.735
because I wanted to buy[br]my favorite sweets called "salty feet."

0:02:08.759,0:02:10.520
I know they sound kind of awful,

0:02:11.640,0:02:13.136
but I absolutely love them.

0:02:13.160,0:02:17.600
They're basically these little[br]salty licorice bits in the shape of feet.

0:02:18.120,0:02:23.360
And now that I say it out loud,[br]I realize how terrible that sounds,

0:02:24.280,0:02:26.776
but be that as it may,[br]I absolutely love them.

0:02:26.800,0:02:28.896
So on my way into the store,

0:02:28.920,0:02:33.456
there was this grown white guy[br]in the doorway blocking my way.

0:02:33.480,0:02:39.416
So I tried to walk around him,[br]and as I did that, he stopped me

0:02:39.440,0:02:41.240
and he was staring at me,

0:02:42.200,0:02:44.136
and he spit in my face, and he said,

0:02:44.160,0:02:45.376
"Get out of my way

0:02:45.400,0:02:48.656
you little black bitch,[br]you little Paki bitch,

0:02:48.680,0:02:50.600
go back home where you came from."

0:02:51.600,0:02:54.696
I was absolutely horrified.

0:02:54.720,0:02:56.016
I was staring at him.

0:02:56.040,0:02:58.960
I was too afraid[br]to wipe the spit off my face,

0:02:59.840,0:03:01.976
even as it was mixing with my tears.

0:03:02.000,0:03:05.696
I remember looking around,[br]hoping that any minute now,

0:03:05.720,0:03:09.376
a grown-up is going to come[br]and make this guy stop.

0:03:09.400,0:03:13.720
But instead, people kept hurrying past me[br]and pretended not to see me.

0:03:14.160,0:03:17.760
I was very confused[br]because I was thinking, well,

0:03:18.640,0:03:21.936
"My white people, come on![br]Where are they? What's going on?

0:03:21.960,0:03:24.040
How come they're not[br]coming and rescuing me?

0:03:24.760,0:03:27.016
So, needless to say,[br]I didn't buy the sweets.

0:03:27.040,0:03:29.160
I just ran home as fast as I could.

0:03:30.040,0:03:32.120
Things were still OK, though, I thought.

0:03:32.800,0:03:35.896
As time went on,[br]the more successful I became,

0:03:35.920,0:03:40.040
I eventually started also[br]attracting harassment from brown people.

0:03:41.520,0:03:44.816
Some men in my parent's community[br]felt that it was unacceptable

0:03:44.840,0:03:49.696
and dishonorable for a woman[br]to be involved in music

0:03:49.720,0:03:51.680
and to be so present in the media.

0:03:53.280,0:03:58.696
So very quickly, I was starting[br]to become attacked at my own concerts.

0:03:58.720,0:04:03.736
I remember one of the concerts,[br]I was onstage, I lean into the audience

0:04:03.760,0:04:07.016
and the last thing I see[br]is a young brown face

0:04:07.040,0:04:11.256
and the next thing I know is some sort[br]of chemical is thrown in my eyes

0:04:11.280,0:04:14.496
and I remember I couldn't really see[br]and my eyes were watering

0:04:14.520,0:04:16.120
but I kept singing anyway.

0:04:16.839,0:04:21.560
I was spit in the face in the streets[br]of Oslo, this time by brown men.

0:04:22.360,0:04:25.576
They even tried to kidnap me at one point.

0:04:25.600,0:04:27.656
The death threats were endless.

0:04:27.680,0:04:30.936
I remember one older bearded guy[br]stopped me in the street one time,

0:04:30.960,0:04:33.096
and he said, "The reason[br]I hate you so much

0:04:33.120,0:04:35.176
is because you make our daughters think

0:04:35.200,0:04:36.760
they can do whatever they want."

0:04:38.560,0:04:41.376
A younger guy warned me to watch my back.

0:04:41.400,0:04:44.416
He said music is un-Islamic[br]and the job of whores,

0:04:44.440,0:04:47.176
and if you keep this up,[br]you are going to be raped

0:04:47.200,0:04:51.880
and your stomach will be cut out so that[br]another whore like you will not be born.

0:04:53.560,0:04:55.256
Again, I was so confused.

0:04:55.280,0:04:57.185
I couldn't understand what was going on.

0:04:57.209,0:05:00.889
My brown people now starting[br]to treat me like this -- how come?

0:05:01.560,0:05:04.656
Instead of bridging the worlds,[br]the two worlds,

0:05:04.680,0:05:07.680
I felt like I was falling[br]between my two worlds.

0:05:08.000,0:05:10.600
I suppose, for me, spit was kryptonite.

0:05:12.560,0:05:14.576
So by the time I was 17 years old,

0:05:14.600,0:05:17.616
the death threats were endless,[br]and the harassment was constant.

0:05:17.640,0:05:20.402
It got so bad, at one point[br]my mother sat me down and said,

0:05:20.426,0:05:23.896
"Look, we can no longer protect you,[br]we can no longer keep you safe,

0:05:23.920,0:05:25.696
so you're going to have to go."

0:05:25.720,0:05:31.120
So I bought a one-way ticket to London,[br]I packed my suitcase and I left.

0:05:32.160,0:05:35.856
My biggest heartbreak at that point[br]was that nobody said anything.

0:05:35.880,0:05:38.240
I had a very public exit from Norway.

0:05:39.120,0:05:42.656
My brown people, my white people --[br]nobody said anything.

0:05:42.680,0:05:44.800
Nobody said, "Hold on, this is wrong.

0:05:45.960,0:05:49.656
Support this girl, protect this girl,[br]because she is one of us."

0:05:49.680,0:05:51.296
Nobody said that.

0:05:51.320,0:05:54.360
Instead, I felt like --[br]you know at the airport,

0:05:55.120,0:05:57.976
on the baggage carousel[br]you have these different suitcases

0:05:58.000,0:05:59.256
going around and around,

0:05:59.280,0:06:01.776
and there's always[br]that one suitcase left at the end,

0:06:01.800,0:06:04.816
the one that nobody wants,[br]the one that nobody comes to claim.

0:06:04.840,0:06:06.120
I felt like that.

0:06:07.040,0:06:10.440
I'd never felt so alone.[br]I'd never felt so lost.

0:06:12.360,0:06:16.360
So, after coming to London,[br]I did eventually resume my music career.

0:06:17.000,0:06:20.200
Different place, but unfortunately[br]the same old story.

0:06:20.840,0:06:24.376
I remember a message sent to me[br]saying that I was going to be killed

0:06:24.400,0:06:27.776
and that rivers of blood[br]were going to flow

0:06:27.800,0:06:31.256
and that I was going to be raped[br]many times before I died.

0:06:31.280,0:06:32.696
By this point, I have to say,

0:06:32.720,0:06:35.176
I was actually getting used[br]to messages like this,

0:06:35.200,0:06:39.480
but what became different was that[br]now they started threatening my family.

0:06:40.760,0:06:46.000
So once again, I packed my suitcase,[br]I left music and I moved to the US.

0:06:46.520,0:06:47.776
I'd had enough.

0:06:47.800,0:06:50.416
I didn't want to have anything[br]to do with this anymore.

0:06:50.440,0:06:53.096
And I was certainly not[br]going to be killed for something

0:06:53.120,0:06:55.800
that wasn't even my dream --[br]it was my father's choice.

0:06:58.200,0:07:01.376
So I kind of got lost.

0:07:01.400,0:07:02.936
I kind of fell apart.

0:07:02.960,0:07:05.296
But I decided that what I wanted to do

0:07:05.320,0:07:08.656
is spend the next[br]however many years of my life

0:07:08.680,0:07:10.336
supporting young people

0:07:10.360,0:07:13.256
and to try to be there in some small way,

0:07:13.280,0:07:14.976
whatever way that I could.

0:07:15.000,0:07:18.256
I started volunteering[br]for various organizations

0:07:18.280,0:07:22.920
that were working[br]with young Muslims inside of Europe.

0:07:24.080,0:07:27.096
And, to my surprise, what I found was

0:07:27.120,0:07:31.600
so many of these young people[br]were suffering and struggling.

0:07:32.440,0:07:35.976
They were facing so many problems[br]with their families and their communities

0:07:36.000,0:07:39.616
who seemed to care more[br]about their honor and their reputation

0:07:39.640,0:07:42.400
than the happiness[br]and the lives of their own kids.

0:07:43.760,0:07:47.760
I started feeling like maybe I wasn't[br]so alone, maybe I wasn't so weird.

0:07:48.280,0:07:50.600
Maybe there are more[br]of my people out there.

0:07:51.280,0:07:53.496
The thing is, what most people[br]don't understand

0:07:53.520,0:07:57.816
is that there are so many of us[br]growing up in Europe

0:07:57.840,0:08:00.256
who are not free to be ourselves.

0:08:00.280,0:08:02.360
We're not allowed to be who we are.

0:08:03.360,0:08:07.416
We are not free to marry

0:08:07.440,0:08:10.376
or to be in relationships[br]with people that we choose.

0:08:10.400,0:08:12.056
We can't even pick our own career.

0:08:12.080,0:08:15.856
This is the norm in the Muslim[br]heartlands of Europe.

0:08:15.880,0:08:18.960
Even in the freest societies[br]in the world, we're not free.

0:08:19.640,0:08:23.536
Our lives, our dreams, our future[br]does not belong to us,

0:08:23.560,0:08:26.816
it belongs to our parents[br]and their community.

0:08:26.840,0:08:29.920
I found endless stories of young people

0:08:30.880,0:08:33.775
who are lost to all of us,

0:08:33.799,0:08:35.535
who are invisible to all of us

0:08:35.559,0:08:38.360
but who are suffering,[br]and they are suffering alone.

0:08:39.520,0:08:43.840
Kids we are losing to forced marriages,[br]to honor-based violence and abuse.

0:08:45.280,0:08:48.976
Eventually, I realized after several[br]years of working with these young people,

0:08:49.000,0:08:51.016
that I will not be able to keep running.

0:08:51.040,0:08:55.696
I can't spend the rest of my life[br]being scared and hiding

0:08:55.720,0:08:58.160
and that I'm actually[br]going to have to do something.

0:08:59.640,0:09:02.736
And I also realized[br]that my silence, our silence,

0:09:02.760,0:09:05.080
allows abuse like this to continue.

0:09:06.000,0:09:10.496
So I decided that I wanted to put[br]my childhood superpower to some use

0:09:10.520,0:09:15.216
by trying to make people on the different[br]sides of these issues understand

0:09:15.240,0:09:20.360
what it's like to be a young person stuck[br]between your family and your country.

0:09:20.960,0:09:24.480
So I started making films,[br]and I started telling these stories.

0:09:24.880,0:09:29.296
And I also wanted people to understand[br]the deadly consequences of us

0:09:29.320,0:09:31.400
not taking these problems seriously.

0:09:32.000,0:09:34.360
So the first film I made was about Banaz.

0:09:35.440,0:09:38.680
She was a 17-year-old[br]Kurdish girl in London.

0:09:39.520,0:09:42.320
She was obedient, she did[br]whatever her parents wanted.

0:09:42.840,0:09:45.256
She tried to do everything right.

0:09:45.280,0:09:47.896
She married some guy[br]that her parents chose for her,

0:09:47.920,0:09:50.880
even though he beat[br]and raped her constantly.

0:09:51.880,0:09:54.696
And when she tried to go[br]to her family for help, they said,

0:09:54.720,0:09:56.976
"Well, you got to go back[br]and be a better wife."

0:09:57.000,0:09:59.816
Because they didn't want[br]a divorced daughter on their hands

0:09:59.840,0:10:02.800
because, of course, that would[br]bring dishonor on the family.

0:10:03.680,0:10:06.280
She was beaten so badly[br]her ears would bleed,

0:10:07.200,0:10:12.296
and when she finally left[br]and she found a young man that she chose

0:10:12.320,0:10:14.136
and she fell in love with,

0:10:14.160,0:10:16.416
the community and the family found out

0:10:16.440,0:10:17.840
and she disappeared.

0:10:18.440,0:10:20.280
She was found three months later.

0:10:21.200,0:10:25.320
She'd been stuffed into a suitcase[br]and buried underneath the house.

0:10:28.040,0:10:31.560
She had been strangled,[br]she had been beaten to death

0:10:32.760,0:10:37.280
by three men, three cousins,[br]on the orders of her father and uncle.

0:10:37.960,0:10:40.136
The added tragedy of Banaz's story

0:10:40.160,0:10:46.056
is that she had gone to the police[br]in England five times asking for help,

0:10:46.080,0:10:49.136
telling them that she was[br]going to be killed by her family.

0:10:49.160,0:10:52.040
The police didn't believe her[br]so they didn't do anything.

0:10:53.080,0:10:54.336
And the problem with this

0:10:54.360,0:10:58.736
is that not only are so many of our kids[br]facing these problems

0:10:58.760,0:11:01.856
within their families[br]and within their families' communities,

0:11:01.880,0:11:05.520
but they're also meeting misunderstandings

0:11:06.640,0:11:10.160
and apathy in the countries[br]that they grow up in.

0:11:11.640,0:11:16.336
When their own families betray them,[br]they look to the rest of us,

0:11:16.360,0:11:18.416
and when we don't understand,

0:11:18.440,0:11:19.640
we lose them.

0:11:21.120,0:11:24.296
So while I was making this film,[br]several people said to me,

0:11:24.320,0:11:26.856
"Well, Deeyah, you know,[br]this is just their culture,

0:11:26.880,0:11:29.071
this is just what those people[br]do to their kids

0:11:29.095,0:11:30.655
and we can't really interfere."

0:11:31.880,0:11:35.080
I can assure you[br]being murdered is not my culture.

0:11:36.280,0:11:37.496
You know?

0:11:37.520,0:11:39.216
And surely people who look like me,

0:11:39.240,0:11:41.736
young women who come[br]from backgrounds like me,

0:11:41.760,0:11:45.856
should be subject to the same rights,[br]the same protections

0:11:45.880,0:11:48.880
as anybody else in our country, why not?

0:11:50.360,0:11:55.096
So, for my next film,[br]I wanted to try and understand

0:11:55.120,0:11:57.976
why some of our young[br]Muslim kids in Europe

0:11:58.000,0:12:00.080
are drawn to extremism and violence.

0:12:00.880,0:12:02.136
But with that topic,

0:12:02.160,0:12:05.320
I also recognized that I was going[br]to have to face my worst fear:

0:12:07.040,0:12:08.640
the brown men with beards.

0:12:10.880,0:12:13.696
The same men, or similar men,

0:12:13.720,0:12:16.520
to the ones that have hounded me[br]for most of my life.

0:12:17.560,0:12:20.256
Men that I've been afraid of[br]most of my life.

0:12:20.280,0:12:23.136
Men that I've also deeply disliked,

0:12:23.160,0:12:24.600
for many, many years.

0:12:25.160,0:12:29.136
So I spent the next two years[br]interviewing convicted terrorists,

0:12:29.160,0:12:31.656
jihadis and former extremists.

0:12:31.680,0:12:35.016
What I already knew,[br]what was very obvious already,

0:12:35.040,0:12:40.216
was that religion, politics,[br]Europe's colonial baggage,

0:12:40.240,0:12:44.496
also Western foreign policy[br]failures of recent years,

0:12:44.520,0:12:46.000
were all a part of the picture.

0:12:46.520,0:12:49.776
But what I was more interested[br]in finding out was what are the human,

0:12:49.800,0:12:51.376
what are the personal reasons

0:12:51.400,0:12:55.720
why some of our young people[br]are susceptible to groups like this.

0:12:57.000,0:13:01.360
And what really surprised me[br]was that I found wounded human beings.

0:13:03.760,0:13:06.216
Instead of the monsters[br]that I was looking for,

0:13:06.240,0:13:07.616
that I was hoping to find --

0:13:07.640,0:13:10.776
quite frankly because[br]it would have been very satisfying --

0:13:10.800,0:13:12.400
I found broken people.

0:13:13.520,0:13:15.016
Just like Banaz,

0:13:15.040,0:13:18.296
I found that these young men[br]were torn apart

0:13:18.320,0:13:20.856
from trying to bridge the gaps

0:13:20.880,0:13:24.360
between their families[br]and the countries that they were born in.

0:13:25.720,0:13:29.096
And what I also learned[br]is that extremist groups, terrorist groups

0:13:29.120,0:13:32.576
are taking advantage[br]of these feelings of our young people

0:13:32.600,0:13:36.456
and channeling that -- cynically --[br]channeling that toward violence.

0:13:36.480,0:13:38.056
"Come to us," they say.

0:13:38.080,0:13:41.056
"Reject both sides,[br]your family and your country

0:13:41.080,0:13:42.736
because they reject you.

0:13:42.760,0:13:45.856
For your family, their honor[br]is more important than you

0:13:45.880,0:13:47.136
and for your country,

0:13:47.160,0:13:53.040
a real Norwegian, Brit or a French person[br]will always be white and never you."

0:13:54.040,0:13:57.496
They're also promising our young people[br]the things that they crave:

0:13:57.520,0:14:01.856
significance, heroism,[br]a sense of belonging and purpose,

0:14:01.880,0:14:04.280
a community that loves and accepts them.

0:14:05.200,0:14:08.136
They make the powerless feel powerful.

0:14:08.160,0:14:13.040
The invisible and the silent[br]are finally seen and heard.

0:14:15.120,0:14:17.656
This is what they're doing[br]for our young people.

0:14:17.680,0:14:21.520
Why are these groups doing this[br]for our young people and not us?

0:14:22.760,0:14:24.336
The thing is,

0:14:24.360,0:14:27.696
I'm not trying to justify

0:14:27.720,0:14:31.456
or excuse any of the violence.

0:14:31.480,0:14:35.056
What I am trying to say[br]is that we have to understand

0:14:35.080,0:14:38.240
why some of our young people[br]are attracted to this.

0:14:39.680,0:14:42.016
I would like to also show you, actually --

0:14:42.040,0:14:45.320
these are childhood photos[br]of some of the guys in the film.

0:14:47.240,0:14:50.200
What really struck me[br]is that so many of them --

0:14:50.960,0:14:52.616
I never would have thought this --

0:14:52.640,0:14:55.960
but so many of them[br]have absent or abusive fathers.

0:14:56.800,0:14:58.736
And several of these young guys

0:14:58.760,0:15:02.896
ended up finding caring[br]and compassionate father figures

0:15:02.920,0:15:04.520
within these extremist groups.

0:15:05.920,0:15:09.080
I also found men[br]brutalized by racist violence,

0:15:09.800,0:15:12.056
but who found a way[br]to stop feeling like victims

0:15:12.080,0:15:13.576
by becoming violent themselves.

0:15:13.600,0:15:18.896
In fact, I found something,[br]to my horror, that I recognized.

0:15:18.920,0:15:25.240
I found the same feelings that I felt[br]as a 17-year-old as I fled from Norway.

0:15:26.160,0:15:29.536
The same confusion, the same sorrow,

0:15:29.560,0:15:33.040
the same feeling of being betrayed

0:15:34.760,0:15:36.360
and not belonging to anyone.

0:15:38.560,0:15:41.680
The same feeling of being lost[br]and torn between cultures.

0:15:42.760,0:15:45.296
Having said that,[br]I did not choose destruction,

0:15:45.320,0:15:48.056
I chose to pick up a camera[br]instead of a gun.

0:15:48.080,0:15:51.416
And the reason I did that[br]is because of my superpower.

0:15:51.440,0:15:56.336
I could see that understanding[br]is the answer, instead of violence.

0:15:56.360,0:15:58.056
Seeing human beings

0:15:58.080,0:16:01.816
with all their virtues and all their flaws

0:16:01.840,0:16:03.696
instead of continuing the caricatures:

0:16:03.720,0:16:06.376
the us and them, the villains and victims.

0:16:06.400,0:16:08.496
I'd also finally[br]come to terms with the fact

0:16:08.520,0:16:12.176
that my two cultures[br]didn't have to be on a collision course

0:16:12.200,0:16:15.320
but instead became a space[br]where I found my own voice.

0:16:15.840,0:16:18.576
I stopped feeling[br]like I had to pick a side,

0:16:18.600,0:16:20.680
but this took me many, many years.

0:16:21.640,0:16:23.656
There are so many[br]of our young people today

0:16:23.680,0:16:25.696
who are struggling with these same issues,

0:16:25.720,0:16:27.720
and they're struggling with this alone.

0:16:29.440,0:16:32.080
And this leaves them open like wounds.

0:16:32.560,0:16:35.616
And for some, the worldview[br]of radical Islam

0:16:35.640,0:16:39.000
becomes the infection[br]that festers in these open wounds.

0:16:41.160,0:16:44.160
There's an African proverb that says,

0:16:45.960,0:16:48.976
"If the young are not[br]initiated into the village,

0:16:49.000,0:16:51.760
they will burn it down[br]just to feel its warmth."

0:16:53.240,0:16:54.720
I would like to ask --

0:16:55.640,0:16:58.176
to Muslim parents and Muslim communities,

0:16:58.200,0:17:00.616
will you love and care for your children

0:17:00.640,0:17:03.416
without forcing them[br]to meet your expectations?

0:17:03.440,0:17:05.880
Can you choose them instead of your honor?

0:17:06.400,0:17:09.415
Can you understand[br]why they're so angry and alienated

0:17:09.440,0:17:11.760
when you put your honor[br]before their happiness?

0:17:12.520,0:17:15.096
Can you try to be a friend to your child

0:17:15.119,0:17:16.896
so that they can trust you

0:17:16.920,0:17:19.215
and want to share with you[br]their experiences,

0:17:19.240,0:17:21.480
rather than having[br]to seek it somewhere else?

0:17:22.359,0:17:25.440
And to our young people[br]tempted by extremism,

0:17:26.680,0:17:30.320
can you acknowledge[br]that your rage is fueled by pain?

0:17:31.640,0:17:35.056
Will you find the strength[br]to resist those cynical old men

0:17:35.080,0:17:38.280
who want to use your blood[br]for their own profits?

0:17:39.040,0:17:40.960
Can you find a way to live?

0:17:41.880,0:17:44.136
Can you see that the sweetest revenge

0:17:44.160,0:17:47.616
is for you to live[br]a happy, full and free life?

0:17:47.640,0:17:50.000
A life defined by you and nobody else.

0:17:50.560,0:17:54.240
Why do you want to become[br]just another dead Muslim kid?

0:17:55.080,0:17:59.240
And for the rest of us, when will we start[br]listening to our young people?

0:18:00.520,0:18:01.776
How can we support them

0:18:01.800,0:18:05.760
in redirecting their pain[br]into something more constructive?

0:18:06.760,0:18:08.216
They think we don't like them.

0:18:08.240,0:18:11.016
They think we don't care[br]what happens to them.

0:18:11.040,0:18:12.816
They think we don't accept them.

0:18:12.840,0:18:15.560
Can we find a way[br]to make them feel differently?

0:18:17.280,0:18:20.216
What will it take for us[br]to see them and notice them

0:18:20.240,0:18:25.176
before they become either the victims[br]or the perpetrators of violence?

0:18:25.200,0:18:28.776
Can we make ourselves care about them[br]and consider them to be our own?

0:18:28.800,0:18:33.656
And not just be outraged when the victims[br]of violence look like ourselves?

0:18:33.680,0:18:38.696
Can we find a way to reject hatred[br]and heal the divisions between us?

0:18:38.720,0:18:42.696
The thing is we cannot afford[br]to give up on each other or on our kids,

0:18:42.720,0:18:44.856
even if they've given up on us.

0:18:44.880,0:18:47.056
We are all in this together.

0:18:47.080,0:18:52.560
And in the long term, revenge and violence[br]will not work against extremists.

0:18:53.480,0:18:57.256
Terrorists want us[br]to huddle in our houses in fear,

0:18:57.280,0:18:59.456
closing our doors and our hearts.

0:18:59.480,0:19:03.296
They want us to tear open[br]more wounds in our societies

0:19:03.320,0:19:06.856
so that they can use them[br]to spread their infection more widely.

0:19:06.880,0:19:09.576
They want us to become like them:

0:19:09.600,0:19:11.840
intolerant, hateful and cruel.

0:19:14.200,0:19:16.656
The day after the Paris attacks,

0:19:16.680,0:19:20.080
a friend of mine[br]sent this photo of her daughter.

0:19:20.800,0:19:23.256
This is a white girl and an Arab girl.

0:19:23.280,0:19:24.480
They're best friends.

0:19:25.120,0:19:28.600
This image is the kryptonite[br]for extremists.

0:19:31.240,0:19:34.296
These two little girls[br]with their superpowers

0:19:34.320,0:19:35.816
are showing the way forward

0:19:35.840,0:19:39.240
towards a society[br]that we need to build together,

0:19:40.120,0:19:43.440
a society that includes and supports,

0:19:44.480,0:19:46.680
rather than rejects our kids.

0:19:47.960,0:19:49.296
Thank you for listening.

0:19:49.320,0:19:58.312
(Applause)