WEBVTT 00:00:01.276 --> 00:00:04.318 When I was a child, I knew I had superpowers. 00:00:07.038 --> 00:00:08.583 That's right. 00:00:09.344 --> 00:00:12.939 I thought I was absolutely amazing because I could understand 00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:15.541 and relate to the feelings of brown people, 00:00:15.798 --> 00:00:18.897 like my grandfather, a conservative Muslim guy. 00:00:19.534 --> 00:00:23.319 And also, I could understand my Afghan mother, my Pakistani father, 00:00:24.521 --> 00:00:27.983 not so religious but laid-back, fairly liberal. 00:00:28.873 --> 00:00:32.163 And of course, I could understand and relate to the feelings of white people. 00:00:32.723 --> 00:00:35.163 The white Norwegians of my country. 00:00:35.553 --> 00:00:37.858 You know, white, brown, whatever, 00:00:38.310 --> 00:00:39.804 I loved them all. 00:00:39.962 --> 00:00:41.388 I understood them all, 00:00:41.388 --> 00:00:43.682 even if they didn't always understand each other, 00:00:43.682 --> 00:00:45.628 they were all my people. 00:00:45.856 --> 00:00:48.094 My father, though, was always really worried. 00:00:48.833 --> 00:00:51.644 He kept saying that even with the best education, 00:00:52.057 --> 00:00:54.966 I was not going to get a fair shake. 00:00:55.539 --> 00:00:58.482 I would still face discrimination, according to him. 00:00:58.482 --> 00:01:01.292 And that they only way to be accepted by white people 00:01:01.292 --> 00:01:03.569 would be to become famous. 00:01:03.799 --> 00:01:07.592 Now mind you, he had this conversation with me when I was seven-years-old. 00:01:08.756 --> 00:01:11.811 So while I'm seven-years-old, he said, look, 00:01:12.128 --> 00:01:14.816 so its either got to be sports, or its got to be music. 00:01:15.156 --> 00:01:18.667 He didn't know anything about sports -- bless him -- so it was music. 00:01:19.295 --> 00:01:23.408 So when I was seven-years-old, he gathered all my toys, all my dolls, 00:01:23.779 --> 00:01:26.202 and he threw them all away. 00:01:26.354 --> 00:01:29.378 In exchange he gave me a crappy little Casio keyboard 00:01:31.804 --> 00:01:33.390 and singing lessons. 00:01:34.034 --> 00:01:37.930 He forced me, basically, to practice for hours and hours every single day. 00:01:38.427 --> 00:01:41.924 Very quickly, he also had me performing for larger and larger audiences, 00:01:42.814 --> 00:01:46.443 and bizarrely, I became almost a kind of poster child 00:01:46.754 --> 00:01:48.826 for Norwegian multi-culturalism. 00:01:49.094 --> 00:01:50.714 I felt very proud, of course. 00:01:51.695 --> 00:01:55.739 Because even the newspapers were starting to write nice things about brown people, 00:01:56.525 --> 00:01:59.645 so I could feel that my superpower was growing. 00:02:01.332 --> 00:02:04.131 So when I was 12-years-old, walking home from school, 00:02:04.606 --> 00:02:06.537 I took a little detour because I wanted to buy 00:02:06.887 --> 00:02:09.247 my favorite sweets called Salty Feets. 00:02:09.577 --> 00:02:13.146 I know they sound kind of awful, but I absolutely love them. 00:02:13.543 --> 00:02:17.369 They're basically these little salty licorice bits in the shape of feet. 00:02:18.303 --> 00:02:22.959 And now that I say it out loud, I realize how terrible that sounds, 00:02:24.418 --> 00:02:27.140 but be that as it may, I absolutely love them. 00:02:27.608 --> 00:02:31.349 So on my way into the store, there was this grown white guy 00:02:32.339 --> 00:02:34.586 in the doorway blocking my way. 00:02:34.863 --> 00:02:39.325 So I tried to walk around him, and as I did that, he stopped me 00:02:39.905 --> 00:02:43.674 and he was staring at me, and he spit in my face, 00:02:44.019 --> 00:02:46.933 and he said, get out of my way you little black bitch, 00:02:47.213 --> 00:02:50.503 you little Paki bitch, go back home where you came from. 00:02:51.968 --> 00:02:56.062 I was absolutely horrified. I was staring at him. 00:02:56.503 --> 00:02:59.727 I was too afraid to wipe the spit off my face, 00:03:00.341 --> 00:03:02.803 even as it was mixing with my tears. 00:03:03.204 --> 00:03:05.931 I remember looking around, hoping that any minute now, 00:03:06.312 --> 00:03:09.238 a grown-up is going to come and make this guy stop. 00:03:09.778 --> 00:03:13.898 But instead, people kept hurrying past me and pretended not to see me. 00:03:15.084 --> 00:03:18.699 I was very confused because I was thinking, 00:03:19.013 --> 00:03:22.272 well, my white people, come on! Where are they? What's going on? 00:03:22.639 --> 00:03:25.313 How come they're not coming and rescuing me? 00:03:25.588 --> 00:03:27.579 So, needless to say, I didn't buy the sweets. 00:03:27.854 --> 00:03:30.314 I just ran home as fast as I could. 00:03:30.711 --> 00:03:33.397 Things were still okay, though, I thought. 00:03:33.686 --> 00:03:37.761 As time went on, the more successful I became, I eventually started attracting 00:03:38.229 --> 00:03:40.938 harassment from brown people. 00:03:41.747 --> 00:03:44.948 Some men in my parent's community felt that it was unacceptable 00:03:45.283 --> 00:03:49.376 and dishonorable for a woman to be involved in music 00:03:50.157 --> 00:03:53.426 and to be so present in the media. 00:03:53.953 --> 00:03:58.824 So very quickly, I was starting to become attacked at my own concerts. 00:03:59.237 --> 00:04:03.580 I remember one of the concerts, I was onstage, I lean into the audience 00:04:04.133 --> 00:04:07.023 and the last thing I see is a young brown face 00:04:07.456 --> 00:04:11.303 and the next thing I know some sort of chemical is thrown in my eyes 00:04:11.800 --> 00:04:14.847 and I remember I couldn't really see and my eyes were watering 00:04:15.228 --> 00:04:17.632 but I kept singing anyway. 00:04:17.927 --> 00:04:21.446 I was spit in the face in the streets of Oslo, this time by brown men. 00:04:22.683 --> 00:04:25.054 They even tried to kidnap me at one point. 00:04:25.945 --> 00:04:27.992 The death threats were endless. 00:04:28.348 --> 00:04:31.088 I remember one older bearded guy stopped me in the street one time, 00:04:31.489 --> 00:04:33.541 and he said, the reason I hate you so much 00:04:33.846 --> 00:04:35.648 is because you make our daughters think 00:04:35.985 --> 00:04:37.805 they can do whatever they want. 00:04:38.714 --> 00:04:41.249 A younger guy warned me to watch my back. 00:04:41.829 --> 00:04:44.388 He said music is un-Islamic and the job of whores, 00:04:44.792 --> 00:04:47.314 and if you keep this up, you are going to be raped 00:04:47.656 --> 00:04:52.810 and your stomach will be cut out so that another whore like you will not be born. 00:04:53.817 --> 00:04:55.738 Again, I was so confused. 00:04:55.975 --> 00:04:57.660 I couldn't understand what was going on. 00:04:57.895 --> 00:05:00.805 My brown people now starting to treat me like this -- how come? 00:05:01.544 --> 00:05:05.498 Instead of bridging the worlds, the two worlds, I felt like I was 00:05:05.815 --> 00:05:10.279 falling between my two worlds. I suppose for me, spit was kryptonite. 00:05:13.090 --> 00:05:16.204 So by the time I was 17-years-old, the death threats were endless 00:05:16.204 --> 00:05:18.150 and the harassment was constant. 00:05:18.412 --> 00:05:21.155 It got so bad, at one point my mother sat me down and said, look, 00:05:21.155 --> 00:05:24.435 we can no longer protect you, we can no longer keep you safe, 00:05:24.692 --> 00:05:26.594 so you're going to have to go. 00:05:26.815 --> 00:05:30.772 So I bought a one-way ticket to London. I packed my suitcase, and I left. 00:05:32.819 --> 00:05:36.485 My biggest heartbreak at that point was that nobody said anything. 00:05:36.485 --> 00:05:39.340 I had a very public exit from Norway. 00:05:39.772 --> 00:05:43.091 My brown people, my white people, nobody said anything. 00:05:43.386 --> 00:05:45.941 Nobody said, hold on, this is wrong. 00:05:46.371 --> 00:05:49.715 Support this girl, protect this girl because she is one of us. 00:05:50.067 --> 00:05:51.854 Nope. Nobody said that. 00:05:52.109 --> 00:05:55.567 Instead, I felt like, you know at the airport, on the baggage 00:05:55.841 --> 00:05:59.111 carousel you have these different suitcases going around and around 00:05:59.411 --> 00:06:03.185 and there's always that one suitcase left at the end, the one that nobody wants, 00:06:03.519 --> 00:06:05.224 the one that nobody comes to claim. 00:06:05.542 --> 00:06:10.587 I felt like that. I'd never felt so alone. I'd never felt so lost. 00:06:12.760 --> 00:06:16.321 So, after coming to London, I did eventually resume my music career. 00:06:18.275 --> 00:06:21.350 Different place but unfortunately the same old story. 00:06:21.350 --> 00:06:24.525 I remember a message sent to me saying that I was going to be killed 00:06:24.965 --> 00:06:29.375 and that rivers of blood were going to flow and that I was going to be raped 00:06:29.818 --> 00:06:31.560 many times before I died. 00:06:31.979 --> 00:06:33.266 By this point, I have to say, 00:06:33.469 --> 00:06:35.789 I was actually getting used to messages like this, 00:06:36.123 --> 00:06:39.785 but what became different was that now they started threatening my family. 00:06:41.034 --> 00:06:45.801 So once again, I packed my suitcase, I left music and I moved to the US. 00:06:46.834 --> 00:06:50.132 I'd had enough. I didn't want to have anything to do with this anymore. 00:06:50.725 --> 00:06:52.785 And I was certainly not going to be killed for something 00:06:53.120 --> 00:06:56.152 that wasn't even my dream -- it was my father's choice. 00:06:58.504 --> 00:07:02.802 So I kind of got lost. I kind of fell apart. 00:07:03.328 --> 00:07:07.644 But I decided that what I wanted to do is spend the next however many years 00:07:07.941 --> 00:07:13.164 of my life supporting young people and to try to be there in some small way, 00:07:13.640 --> 00:07:15.545 whatever way that I could. 00:07:15.819 --> 00:07:19.206 I started volunteering for various organizations that were working 00:07:19.653 --> 00:07:22.963 with young Muslims inside of Europe. 00:07:24.355 --> 00:07:29.263 And, to my surprise, what I found was so many of these young people 00:07:30.136 --> 00:07:32.556 were suffering and struggling. 00:07:33.123 --> 00:07:36.286 They were facing so many problems with their families and their communities 00:07:36.615 --> 00:07:40.045 who seemed to care more about their honor and their reputation than the 00:07:40.382 --> 00:07:42.735 happiness and the lives of their own kids. 00:07:43.136 --> 00:07:47.613 I started feeling like maybe I wasn't so alone, maybe I wasn't so weird. 00:07:48.553 --> 00:07:51.130 Maybe there are more of my people out there. 00:07:52.039 --> 00:07:55.948 The thing is, what most people don't understand is that there are so many 00:07:56.348 --> 00:08:00.055 of us growing up in Europe who are not free to be ourselves. 00:08:00.731 --> 00:08:03.416 We're not allowed to be who we are. 00:08:03.933 --> 00:08:10.556 We are not free to marry or to be in relationships with people that we choose. 00:08:10.956 --> 00:08:12.756 We can't even pick our own career. 00:08:12.995 --> 00:08:15.786 This is the norm in the Muslim heartlands of Europe, 00:08:16.386 --> 00:08:19.409 even in the freest societies in the world, we're not free. 00:08:20.012 --> 00:08:22.984 Our lives, our dreams, our future does not belong to us, 00:08:23.830 --> 00:08:26.915 it belongs to our parents and their community. 00:08:27.367 --> 00:08:33.489 I found endless stories of young people who are lost to all of us, 00:08:34.160 --> 00:08:37.027 who are invisible to all of us but who are suffering 00:08:37.396 --> 00:08:39.468 and they are suffering alone. 00:08:39.932 --> 00:08:43.804 Kids we are losing to forced marriages, honor-based violence and abuse. 00:08:45.667 --> 00:08:48.319 So, eventually, I realized, after several years of working 00:08:48.616 --> 00:08:51.290 with these young people that I will not be able to keep running. 00:08:51.711 --> 00:08:56.059 I can't spend the rest of my life being scared and hiding and 00:08:56.428 --> 00:08:58.383 that I'm actually going to have to do something. 00:09:00.041 --> 00:09:03.816 And I also realized that my silence, our silence, allows abuse 00:09:04.164 --> 00:09:05.822 like this to continue. 00:09:06.302 --> 00:09:10.365 So I decided that I wanted to put my childhood superpower to some use 00:09:11.335 --> 00:09:15.809 by trying to make people on the different sides of these issues understand 00:09:16.109 --> 00:09:20.607 what its like to be a young person stuck between your family and your country. 00:09:21.320 --> 00:09:24.468 So I started making films and I started telling stories. 00:09:25.262 --> 00:09:29.299 I also wanted people to understand the deadly consequences of us 00:09:29.665 --> 00:09:31.856 not taking these problems seriously. 00:09:32.452 --> 00:09:35.339 So the first film I made was about Benaz. 00:09:36.197 --> 00:09:38.927 She was a 17-year-old Kurdish girl in London. 00:09:40.086 --> 00:09:42.417 She was obedient, she did whatever her parents wanted. 00:09:43.362 --> 00:09:45.654 She tried to do everything right. 00:09:46.101 --> 00:09:48.707 She married some guy that her parents chose for her, even though 00:09:49.077 --> 00:09:51.499 he beat and raped her constantly. 00:09:52.311 --> 00:09:54.651 And when she tried to go to her family for help, they said, 00:09:55.059 --> 00:09:57.375 well you got to go back, and be a better wife. 00:09:57.817 --> 00:10:00.022 Because they didn't want a divorced daughter on their hands 00:10:00.323 --> 00:10:03.104 because, of course, that would bring dishonor on the family. 00:10:04.411 --> 00:10:07.158 She was beaten so badly her ears would bleed, 00:10:07.659 --> 00:10:12.119 and when she finally left and she found a young man that she chose 00:10:12.750 --> 00:10:16.205 and she fell in love with, the community and the family found out 00:10:16.658 --> 00:10:18.527 and she disappeared. 00:10:18.938 --> 00:10:21.443 She was found three months later. 00:10:21.849 --> 00:10:25.323 She'd been stuffed into a suitcase and buried underneath the house. 00:10:28.502 --> 00:10:31.129 She had been strangled, she had been beaten to death 00:10:32.404 --> 00:10:37.023 by three men, three cousins on the orders of her father and uncle. 00:10:37.649 --> 00:10:42.469 The added tragedy of Benaz's story is that she had gone to the police 00:10:42.596 --> 00:10:46.159 in England five times, asking for help, 00:10:47.276 --> 00:10:49.515 telling them that she was going to be killed by her family. 00:10:49.838 --> 00:10:52.231 The police didn't believe her so they didn't do anything. 00:10:53.446 --> 00:10:56.652 And the problem with this is that not only are so many of our kids 00:10:56.990 --> 00:11:02.150 facing this problem within their families and within their families' communities, 00:11:02.992 --> 00:11:05.223 but they're also meeting misunderstandings 00:11:06.915 --> 00:11:10.159 and apathy in the countries that they grow up in. 00:11:12.031 --> 00:11:16.941 When their own families betray them, they look to the rest of us, 00:11:17.293 --> 00:11:19.184 and when we don't understand, we lose them. 00:11:21.963 --> 00:11:25.207 So while I was making this film, several people said to me, well Deeyah, 00:11:25.750 --> 00:11:28.836 you know, this is just their culture, this is just what those people do 00:11:29.199 --> 00:11:31.056 to their kids and we can't really interfere. 00:11:32.207 --> 00:11:36.978 I can assure you being murdered is not my culture -- you know? 00:11:37.289 --> 00:11:39.996 And surely people who look like me, young women who come 00:11:40.368 --> 00:11:43.788 from backgrounds like me, should be subject to the same rights, 00:11:44.465 --> 00:11:48.547 the same protections as anybody else in our country, why not? 00:11:50.635 --> 00:11:56.172 So, for my next film, I wanted to try and understand why some of our 00:11:56.524 --> 00:12:00.065 young Muslim kids in Europe are drawn to extremism and violence. 00:12:01.186 --> 00:12:03.201 But with that topic, I also recognized that 00:12:03.526 --> 00:12:05.737 I was going to have to face my worst fear: 00:12:07.391 --> 00:12:09.482 the brown men with beards. 00:12:11.539 --> 00:12:16.566 The same men, or similar men, to the ones that have hounded me for most of my life. 00:12:17.852 --> 00:12:20.442 Men that I've been afraid of most of my life. 00:12:20.822 --> 00:12:24.578 Men that I've also deeply disliked, for many, many years. 00:12:25.609 --> 00:12:29.138 So I spent the next two years interviewing convicted terrorists, 00:12:29.581 --> 00:12:31.524 jihadis and former extremists. 00:12:32.093 --> 00:12:35.063 What I already knew, what was very obvious already, 00:12:35.428 --> 00:12:40.999 was that religion, politics, Europe's colonial baggage, also 00:12:41.434 --> 00:12:44.140 Western foreign policy failures failures of recent years, 00:12:44.886 --> 00:12:46.863 were all a part of the picture. 00:12:47.547 --> 00:12:49.959 But what I was more interested in finding out was what are the human, 00:12:50.258 --> 00:12:53.012 what are the personal reasons why some of our 00:12:53.466 --> 00:12:55.548 young people are susceptible to groups like this. 00:12:57.332 --> 00:13:01.419 And what really surprised me was that I found wounded human beings. 00:13:04.092 --> 00:13:07.547 Instead of the monsters that I was looking for, that I was hoping to find -- 00:13:08.118 --> 00:13:10.609 quite frankly because it would have been very satisfying -- 00:13:11.241 --> 00:13:13.392 I found broken people. 00:13:13.915 --> 00:13:19.741 Just like Benaz, I found that these young men were torn apart from trying 00:13:20.122 --> 00:13:24.379 to bridge the gaps between their families and the countries that they were born in. 00:13:26.109 --> 00:13:29.178 And what I also learned is that extremist groups, terrorist groups 00:13:29.579 --> 00:13:32.568 are taking advantage of these feelings of our young people 00:13:32.969 --> 00:13:36.277 and channeling that cynically, channeling that toward violence. 00:13:36.974 --> 00:13:41.310 Come to us, they say. "Reject both sides, your family and your country 00:13:41.956 --> 00:13:43.433 because they reject you.. 00:13:43.739 --> 00:13:46.872 For your family, their honor is more important than you and for your country, 00:13:47.271 --> 00:13:52.736 a real Norwegian, Brit, or a French person will always be white and never you." 00:13:54.380 --> 00:13:57.581 They're also promising our young people things that they crave: 00:13:57.912 --> 00:14:01.418 significance, heroism, a sense of belonging and purpose, 00:14:02.197 --> 00:14:04.436 a community that loves and accepts them. 00:14:05.678 --> 00:14:08.224 They make the powerless feel powerful. 00:14:08.638 --> 00:14:13.046 The invisible and the silent are finally seen and heard. 00:14:15.474 --> 00:14:17.713 This is what they're doing for our young people. 00:14:18.181 --> 00:14:21.350 Why are these groups doing this for our young people and not us? 00:14:23.161 --> 00:14:30.917 The thing is, I'm not trying to justify or excuse any of the violence. 00:14:31.789 --> 00:14:34.408 What I am trying to say is that we have to understand 00:14:35.019 --> 00:14:38.145 why some of our young people are attracted to this. 00:14:40.089 --> 00:14:43.382 I would like to also show you, actually, these are childhood photos 00:14:43.816 --> 00:14:45.947 of some of the guys in the film. 00:14:47.790 --> 00:14:50.376 What really struck me is that so many of them 00:14:51.423 --> 00:14:53.075 -- I never would have thought this -- 00:14:53.546 --> 00:14:56.130 but so many of them have absent or abusive fathers. 00:14:57.370 --> 00:15:01.464 And several of these young guys ended up finding caring and compassionate 00:15:02.291 --> 00:15:04.404 father figures within these extremist groups. 00:15:06.353 --> 00:15:10.258 I also found men brutalized by racist violence, but who found a way 00:15:10.884 --> 00:15:13.770 to stop feeling like victims by becoming violent themselves. 00:15:14.365 --> 00:15:18.489 In fact, I found something, to my horror, that I recognized. 00:15:19.547 --> 00:15:25.033 I found the same feelings that I felt as a 17-year-old as I fled from Norway. 00:15:26.163 --> 00:15:32.794 The same confusion, the same sorrow, the same feeling of being betrayed 00:15:35.039 --> 00:15:37.033 and not belonging to anyone. 00:15:39.036 --> 00:15:41.338 The same feeling of being lost and torn between cultures. 00:15:43.241 --> 00:15:45.643 Having said that, I did not choose destruction, 00:15:45.914 --> 00:15:47.727 I chose to pick up a camera instead of a gun. 00:15:48.502 --> 00:15:51.600 And the reason I did that is because of my superpower. 00:15:52.169 --> 00:15:56.107 I could see that understanding is the answer, instead of violence. 00:15:56.981 --> 00:16:01.274 Seeing human beings with all their virtues and all their flaws 00:16:02.104 --> 00:16:03.994 instead of continuing the caricatures: 00:16:04.377 --> 00:16:06.539 the us and them, the villains and victims. 00:16:07.055 --> 00:16:10.776 I'd also finally come to terms with the fact that my two cultures didn't have 00:16:11.149 --> 00:16:15.358 to be on a collision course but instead became a space where I found my own voice. 00:16:16.039 --> 00:16:20.386 I stopped feeling like I had to pick a side, but this took me many, many years. 00:16:21.978 --> 00:16:24.684 There are so many of our young people today who are struggling with 00:16:24.954 --> 00:16:27.801 these same issues and they're struggling with this alone. 00:16:29.657 --> 00:16:33.513 And this leaves them open like wounds, and for some, 00:16:34.269 --> 00:16:37.777 the worldview of radical Islam becomes the infection that festers 00:16:38.254 --> 00:16:40.333 in these open wounds. 00:16:41.462 --> 00:16:44.129 There's an African proverb that says, 00:16:45.877 --> 00:16:48.742 if the young are not initiated into the village, 00:16:49.309 --> 00:16:52.403 they will burn it down just to feel its warmth. 00:16:53.710 --> 00:16:57.619 I would like to ask Muslim parents and Muslim communities, 00:16:58.540 --> 00:17:01.725 will you love and care for your children without forcing them 00:17:02.039 --> 00:17:03.891 to meet your expectations? 00:17:04.255 --> 00:17:06.749 Can you choose them instead of your honor? 00:17:06.997 --> 00:17:10.526 Can you understand why they're so angry and alienated when you put your honor 00:17:10.526 --> 00:17:12.818 before their happiness? 00:17:13.556 --> 00:17:16.417 Can you try to be a friend to your child so that they can trust you 00:17:17.079 --> 00:17:20.176 and want to share with you their experiences, rather than having 00:17:20.465 --> 00:17:22.806 to seek it somewhere else? 00:17:23.087 --> 00:17:28.389 And to our young people, tempted by extremism, can you acknowledge that 00:17:28.685 --> 00:17:30.903 your rage is fueled by pain? 00:17:31.961 --> 00:17:36.085 Will you find the strength to resist those cynical old men who want to use 00:17:36.374 --> 00:17:39.085 your blood for their own profits? 00:17:39.460 --> 00:17:42.088 Can you find a way to live? 00:17:42.854 --> 00:17:45.027 Can you see that the sweetest revenge 00:17:45.378 --> 00:17:48.255 is for you to live a happy, full and free life? 00:17:50.879 --> 00:17:51.129 A life defined by you and nobody else. 00:17:51.451 --> 00:17:54.188 Why do you want to become just another dead Muslim kid? 00:17:55.391 --> 00:17:59.224 And for the rest of us, when will we start listening to our young people? 00:18:00.743 --> 00:18:03.759 How can we support them in re-directing their pain 00:18:04.179 --> 00:18:06.491 into something more constructive? 00:18:07.097 --> 00:18:08.976 They think we don't like them. 00:18:09.290 --> 00:18:11.562 They think we don't care what happens to them. 00:18:11.782 --> 00:18:13.296 They think we don't accept them. 00:18:13.546 --> 00:18:15.744 Can we find a way to make them feel differently? 00:18:17.591 --> 00:18:21.540 What will it take for us to see them and notice them before they become 00:18:21.840 --> 00:18:24.768 either the victims or the perpetrators of violence? 00:18:25.187 --> 00:18:28.560 Can we make ourselves care about them and consider them to be our own? 00:18:29.094 --> 00:18:33.251 And not just be outraged when the victims of violence look like ourselves? 00:18:33.690 --> 00:18:38.675 Can we find a way to reject hatred and heal the divisions between us? 00:18:39.157 --> 00:18:42.714 The thing is, we cannot afford to give up on each other or on our kids, 00:18:43.031 --> 00:18:45.010 even if they've given up on us. 00:18:45.570 --> 00:18:47.930 We are all in this together. 00:18:48.178 --> 00:18:52.041 And in the long term, revenge and violence will not work against extremists. 00:18:53.795 --> 00:18:59.222 Terrorists want us to huddle in our houses in fear, closing our doors and our hearts. 00:19:00.094 --> 00:19:04.923 They want us to tear open more wounds in our societies so that they can use them 00:19:04.979 --> 00:19:06.383 to spread their infection more widely. 00:19:08.658 --> 00:19:14.239 They want us to become like them: intolerant, hateful and cruel. 00:19:14.514 --> 00:19:20.203 The day after the Paris attacks, a friend of mine sent this photo of her daughter. 00:19:21.165 --> 00:19:23.743 This is a white girl and an Arab girl. 00:19:23.997 --> 00:19:25.588 They're best friends. 00:19:25.827 --> 00:19:28.871 This image is kryptonite for extremists. 00:19:31.706 --> 00:19:35.518 These two little girls with their superpowers are showing 00:19:35.803 --> 00:19:38.978 the way forward towards a society that we need to build together, 00:19:40.401 --> 00:19:46.347 a society that includes and supports, rather than rejects our kids. 00:19:48.385 --> 00:19:52.429 Thank you for listening.