WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.435 [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:00:02.435 --> 00:00:06.830 00:00:06.830 --> 00:00:09.440 LAVERNE COX: When a baby is born, one of the first questions 00:00:09.440 --> 00:00:13.753 asked is, is it a boy or is it a girl? 00:00:13.753 --> 00:00:14.670 ZOEY: This is my room. 00:00:14.670 --> 00:00:16.623 Beware of girliness. 00:00:16.623 --> 00:00:18.540 LAVERNE COX: But what if it's not that simple? 00:00:18.540 --> 00:00:23.210 SPEAKER 1: The reality is you were born to me as a female. 00:00:23.210 --> 00:00:26.473 ZOEY: I was 10 when my counselor told me that I was transgender. 00:00:26.473 --> 00:00:27.390 KYE: I was at daycare. 00:00:27.390 --> 00:00:28.740 OK, the boys go over here. 00:00:28.740 --> 00:00:29.553 Girls go over here. 00:00:29.553 --> 00:00:31.220 So I walk over with the boys and they're 00:00:31.220 --> 00:00:33.650 like, no, you're actually supposed to be over here 00:00:33.650 --> 00:00:34.750 with the girls, sweetie. 00:00:34.750 --> 00:00:35.250 Haha. 00:00:35.250 --> 00:00:35.960 That's cute. 00:00:35.960 --> 00:00:40.910 DANIELLA: I've been identifying as female for five years now. 00:00:40.910 --> 00:00:42.560 ARI: All of a sudden, all my friends 00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:45.440 had to stop calling me Ariana and they had to call me Ari. 00:00:45.440 --> 00:00:47.180 LAVERNE COX: In the next hour, you'll 00:00:47.180 --> 00:00:49.370 meet seven brave young men and women 00:00:49.370 --> 00:00:52.960 who will show us what it means to defy expectations. 00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:56.750 KYE: I am the first openly Division I trans athlete. 00:00:56.750 --> 00:00:59.190 LAVERNE COX: To take risk and make changes. 00:00:59.190 --> 00:01:01.140 SHANE: It wasn't just coming out. 00:01:01.140 --> 00:01:03.810 It was, how am I going to do all these medical things? 00:01:03.810 --> 00:01:06.420 And I never had a major surgery before. 00:01:06.420 --> 00:01:09.550 LAVERNE COX: And even endure discrimination and violence. 00:01:09.550 --> 00:01:12.960 DANIELLA: I remember him running after me, and he, like-- 00:01:12.960 --> 00:01:15.380 I'm sorry. 00:01:15.380 --> 00:01:17.130 LAVERNE COX: Just to have the same freedom 00:01:17.130 --> 00:01:18.930 to live their lives authentically 00:01:18.930 --> 00:01:23.010 as who they knew they were meant to be. 00:01:23.010 --> 00:01:26.877 I'm Laverne Cox, and this is The T Word. 00:01:26.877 --> 00:01:29.680 00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:33.860 For many of us, the T in LGBT means more than transgender. 00:01:33.860 --> 00:01:35.710 It also means truth. 00:01:35.710 --> 00:01:39.130 When someone is trans, it means they identify differently 00:01:39.130 --> 00:01:41.650 from the gender they were assigned at birth based 00:01:41.650 --> 00:01:42.910 on genitalia. 00:01:42.910 --> 00:01:44.720 Gender isn't black and white. 00:01:44.720 --> 00:01:46.840 Even Facebook recently added over 00:01:46.840 --> 00:01:50.180 50 choices for people to identify their own gender, 00:01:50.180 --> 00:01:53.480 from transsexual to cisgender and gender fluid, 00:01:53.480 --> 00:01:56.530 so it can be kind of confusing for some people to understand. 00:01:56.530 --> 00:01:59.200 But the most important thing to know about how individuals 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:01.630 identify their gender is that it's not 00:02:01.630 --> 00:02:03.300 about what's in their pants. 00:02:03.300 --> 00:02:05.865 It's about what's in their hearts and minds. 00:02:05.865 --> 00:02:08.479 00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:12.450 KYE: When I was five years old, I knew that I was a boy. 00:02:12.450 --> 00:02:13.440 I didn't question it. 00:02:13.440 --> 00:02:14.900 That's just what it was. 00:02:14.900 --> 00:02:17.120 AVERY: When I was, like, 15, I realized 00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:19.310 that I was so depressed wearing clothes 00:02:19.310 --> 00:02:21.380 that people expected me to wear and how 00:02:21.380 --> 00:02:23.940 to look and act certain ways. 00:02:23.940 --> 00:02:26.090 SHANE: I started exploring my gender identity 00:02:26.090 --> 00:02:27.750 when I was about 14. 00:02:27.750 --> 00:02:31.290 That whole period of time for me, I was just very depressed. 00:02:31.290 --> 00:02:35.977 I hated myself because I felt inherently wrong. 00:02:35.977 --> 00:02:38.060 LAVERNE COX: People transition at different points 00:02:38.060 --> 00:02:39.060 in their lives. 00:02:39.060 --> 00:02:41.960 But many trans people, like 18-year-old Ari, 00:02:41.960 --> 00:02:45.890 report knowing their true identity from early childhood. 00:02:45.890 --> 00:02:46.530 ARI: Hey, guys. 00:02:46.530 --> 00:02:47.180 I'm Ari. 00:02:47.180 --> 00:02:48.490 Welcome to my house. 00:02:48.490 --> 00:02:49.350 Come on in. 00:02:49.350 --> 00:02:51.450 I'm from New York City. 00:02:51.450 --> 00:02:54.600 I'm 18 years old, and I love music. 00:02:54.600 --> 00:02:58.550 This guitar I just got for my birthday. 00:02:58.550 --> 00:03:00.560 It's a beautiful instrument. 00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:02.070 Thanks, mom and dad. 00:03:02.070 --> 00:03:04.730 This is an ASCAP award, and I won it 00:03:04.730 --> 00:03:07.040 for my songwriting and stuff. 00:03:07.040 --> 00:03:09.680 I've been playing music and singing and songwriting 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:11.930 since I was about three. 00:03:11.930 --> 00:03:15.890 I want to make it my career, and I love it so much. 00:03:15.890 --> 00:03:17.450 SPEAKER 2: I'm looking for Ariana. 00:03:17.450 --> 00:03:18.140 Where's she? 00:03:18.140 --> 00:03:19.820 There she is. 00:03:19.820 --> 00:03:22.980 ARI: I knew I was a boy since I was really little. 00:03:22.980 --> 00:03:24.800 Since I could dress myself. 00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:26.910 I'd always dress up in, like, boy outfits 00:03:26.910 --> 00:03:29.180 and I only had guy friends, and we all 00:03:29.180 --> 00:03:32.300 used to scream at the girls and tease the girls. 00:03:32.300 --> 00:03:35.630 There was something about me that just never connected 00:03:35.630 --> 00:03:38.480 with a female. 00:03:38.480 --> 00:03:40.287 SPEAKER 3: Here's my little pumpkin. 00:03:40.287 --> 00:03:41.370 SPEAKER 2: I have cheese-- 00:03:41.370 --> 00:03:42.352 these things. 00:03:42.352 --> 00:03:44.060 ARI: Do you have any peaches or anything? 00:03:44.060 --> 00:03:44.935 SPEAKER 2: Trail mix. 00:03:44.935 --> 00:03:46.520 ARI: You have peaches? 00:03:46.520 --> 00:03:47.510 SPEAKER 2: No. 00:03:47.510 --> 00:03:49.850 ARI: I was just really confused all the time. 00:03:49.850 --> 00:03:53.090 Like in middle school, it was especially difficult because I 00:03:53.090 --> 00:03:57.080 hit the wrong puberty and got a menstrual cycle 00:03:57.080 --> 00:04:00.680 and started growing little things up top. 00:04:00.680 --> 00:04:04.790 Nothing any boy wants to have at 13 years old. 00:04:04.790 --> 00:04:08.360 I wanted to be a teenage boy and I couldn't. 00:04:08.360 --> 00:04:10.970 One night I talked to my dad and he was like, 00:04:10.970 --> 00:04:12.210 you don't sound happy. 00:04:12.210 --> 00:04:15.270 So I told my dad I hate being a girl. 00:04:15.270 --> 00:04:18.110 That night, he did a little research into it 00:04:18.110 --> 00:04:20.850 and he told me, like, you're transgender. 00:04:20.850 --> 00:04:24.120 And I was like, oh, yes, there's a word for me. 00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:24.810 Yes. 00:04:24.810 --> 00:04:25.638 Thank God. 00:04:25.638 --> 00:04:27.680 LAVERNE COX: Ari was excited about finding a word 00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:29.520 to describe his truth. 00:04:29.520 --> 00:04:32.090 But there are some terms that these young trans 00:04:32.090 --> 00:04:34.015 people don't want to hear. 00:04:34.015 --> 00:04:35.390 AVERY: Some of the words that are 00:04:35.390 --> 00:04:38.020 offensive to me are tranny, shemale, 00:04:38.020 --> 00:04:40.260 and just a flat out man really hurts. 00:04:40.260 --> 00:04:41.470 ZOEY: The word tranny. 00:04:41.470 --> 00:04:43.520 It's very offensive to us. 00:04:43.520 --> 00:04:46.000 It's like calling a gay person the F word. 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:48.210 KYE: Girlboy, he/she. 00:04:48.210 --> 00:04:49.680 Transgendered. 00:04:49.680 --> 00:04:51.550 If you're saying I'm transgendered, 00:04:51.550 --> 00:04:53.795 it's like something happened for me to be trans. 00:04:53.795 --> 00:04:55.420 It's like saying you've been blackened. 00:04:55.420 --> 00:04:57.780 Like, what happened for you to be Black? 00:04:57.780 --> 00:05:01.350 SHANE: Any sort of language that is not gendered male 00:05:01.350 --> 00:05:02.890 is not correct for me. 00:05:02.890 --> 00:05:05.280 But the one that gets to me the most 00:05:05.280 --> 00:05:10.690 is when people refer to trans people as it. 00:05:10.690 --> 00:05:13.570 LAVERNE COX: 12-year-old Zoey has been experiencing this kind 00:05:13.570 --> 00:05:16.700 of name calling from as early as she can remember, 00:05:16.700 --> 00:05:20.620 but no amount of harassment can stop her from living proudly 00:05:20.620 --> 00:05:22.910 as the girl she knows herself to be. 00:05:22.910 --> 00:05:25.330 ZOEY: I'm from the Los Angeles area. 00:05:25.330 --> 00:05:29.770 I have one brother and I have one sister, and I have a mom. 00:05:29.770 --> 00:05:31.000 She's a single parent. 00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:34.760 And my dad has recently passed, but everything's still good. 00:05:34.760 --> 00:05:36.880 I still cope with it very well. 00:05:36.880 --> 00:05:38.180 So this is my room. 00:05:38.180 --> 00:05:39.580 Beware of girliness. 00:05:39.580 --> 00:05:41.900 I mean, it just has so much girliness. 00:05:41.900 --> 00:05:42.950 I love dancing. 00:05:42.950 --> 00:05:44.120 I love performing arts. 00:05:44.120 --> 00:05:46.520 I love acting, and I love drawing. 00:05:46.520 --> 00:05:49.630 This is Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. 00:05:49.630 --> 00:05:53.290 When I was two, I first started feeling like I had a burden. 00:05:53.290 --> 00:05:55.480 When I was little, I always thought 00:05:55.480 --> 00:05:58.300 that boys and girls had the same genitalia 00:05:58.300 --> 00:06:01.430 and that we all had the same body parts, 00:06:01.430 --> 00:06:04.100 so I just thought, oh, they're confusing me for a boy. 00:06:04.100 --> 00:06:07.450 Then I found out that they actually have separate body 00:06:07.450 --> 00:06:11.430 parts, and I felt very anxious because I was wondering, 00:06:11.430 --> 00:06:14.720 why do I have to live as a boy when I really feel 00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:17.000 that I'm a girl in the inside? 00:06:17.000 --> 00:06:19.555 And I was just very sad and depressed. 00:06:19.555 --> 00:06:21.180 OFELIA: You have to get ready for camp. 00:06:21.180 --> 00:06:23.510 You have to start getting your stuff together. 00:06:23.510 --> 00:06:26.160 When she started walking and talking, 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:30.860 she would generally gravitate to playing princess. 00:06:30.860 --> 00:06:32.640 She would wear my shoes. 00:06:32.640 --> 00:06:35.312 So I kind of understood that there was something different. 00:06:35.312 --> 00:06:36.770 ZOEY: Oh, and we got to go pick out 00:06:36.770 --> 00:06:38.350 something for the formal dance. 00:06:38.350 --> 00:06:40.820 My friend Nikki, she wore this really pretty, like, 00:06:40.820 --> 00:06:43.770 out there Cinderella dress, and I was like, 00:06:43.770 --> 00:06:45.360 I'm going to top you next year. 00:06:45.360 --> 00:06:48.530 When I was two, I remembered that my mom just got me out 00:06:48.530 --> 00:06:51.300 of the shower and she was drying me. 00:06:51.300 --> 00:06:54.500 And I remember crying and saying, I know in my heart 00:06:54.500 --> 00:06:55.380 that I'm a girl. 00:06:55.380 --> 00:06:57.930 And it was just really confusing for her 00:06:57.930 --> 00:06:59.480 and she didn't know what to do. 00:06:59.480 --> 00:07:02.180 OFELIA: When I started googling more information 00:07:02.180 --> 00:07:05.810 about transgender people, most of the information that I found 00:07:05.810 --> 00:07:06.990 was negative. 00:07:06.990 --> 00:07:08.820 Horrible words were used. 00:07:08.820 --> 00:07:10.050 Abomination. 00:07:10.050 --> 00:07:12.410 And I was like, that's not my kid. 00:07:12.410 --> 00:07:14.040 She's gorgeous. 00:07:14.040 --> 00:07:16.920 LAVERNE COX: For Zoey, Ari, and countless others, 00:07:16.920 --> 00:07:19.250 deciding to transition to a different gender 00:07:19.250 --> 00:07:21.450 can be powerfully liberating. 00:07:21.450 --> 00:07:24.080 But having to explain your new identity and appearance 00:07:24.080 --> 00:07:27.620 to everyone else can be incredibly difficult. 00:07:27.620 --> 00:07:29.720 Coming up on The T Word. 00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:31.820 SPEAKER 1: I see you as the child 00:07:31.820 --> 00:07:34.230 that I gave birth to, which is a female. 00:07:34.230 --> 00:07:35.400 LAVERNE COX: And later. 00:07:35.400 --> 00:07:38.390 ARI: I've had so many opportunities to have sex 00:07:38.390 --> 00:07:41.627 and I haven't been able to ever have it. 00:07:41.627 --> 00:07:44.110 [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:07:44.110 --> 00:07:44.472 00:07:44.472 --> 00:07:45.930 LAVERNE COX: Some trans people feel 00:07:45.930 --> 00:07:48.960 it's not necessary to undergo medical transition, which 00:07:48.960 --> 00:07:51.820 could include hormones and/or surgeries. 00:07:51.820 --> 00:07:53.700 But others choose to make changes 00:07:53.700 --> 00:07:58.330 on the outside that align with how they feel on the inside. 00:07:58.330 --> 00:08:01.810 SHANE: I guess first thing was I picked my name, Shane, 00:08:01.810 --> 00:08:05.740 and I started asking my close friends to call me Shane. 00:08:05.740 --> 00:08:07.090 I would be Shane out in public. 00:08:07.090 --> 00:08:10.055 I felt so happy and so confident and so fulfilled. 00:08:10.055 --> 00:08:11.680 DANIELLA: I didn't know if I was trans. 00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:12.680 I didn't know who I was. 00:08:12.680 --> 00:08:14.980 But I knew that when I walked outside in a skirt, 00:08:14.980 --> 00:08:16.407 I felt happy. 00:08:16.407 --> 00:08:18.490 ZOEY: I transitioned in front of everybody's eyes. 00:08:18.490 --> 00:08:20.250 I came in hot pink and I walked out 00:08:20.250 --> 00:08:23.195 the bus and everybody was like, whoa, that makes sense. 00:08:23.195 --> 00:08:24.570 LAVERNE COX: Transitioning can be 00:08:24.570 --> 00:08:27.040 both exciting and challenging. 00:08:27.040 --> 00:08:28.770 One of the biggest hurdles can be 00:08:28.770 --> 00:08:33.510 the time it takes friends and family to accept the change. 00:08:33.510 --> 00:08:36.960 So imagine how hard it must be to experience all of that 00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:38.820 under a national spotlight. 00:08:38.820 --> 00:08:44.980 KYE: I am the first openly Division I trans athlete. 00:08:44.980 --> 00:08:46.000 There we go. 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:47.680 My action shot for today. 00:08:47.680 --> 00:08:50.410 LAVERNE COX: In 2011, while playing on the women's 00:08:50.410 --> 00:08:53.510 basketball team at George Washington University, 00:08:53.510 --> 00:08:56.530 Kye was featured in a piece for the website Outsports 00:08:56.530 --> 00:08:58.550 announcing he was trans male. 00:08:58.550 --> 00:09:01.690 The story caught fire and made national headlines. 00:09:01.690 --> 00:09:05.470 SPEAKER 4: Why come forward now rather than play out your career 00:09:05.470 --> 00:09:07.320 and then do everything? 00:09:07.320 --> 00:09:11.650 KYE: I mean, that's what my plan was, and then it 00:09:11.650 --> 00:09:13.220 just-- it got too tough. 00:09:13.220 --> 00:09:17.680 It got too tough to not be me and to hear people call me 00:09:17.680 --> 00:09:20.770 a girl, say she, or just refer to me as something that I knew I 00:09:20.770 --> 00:09:21.580 wasn't. 00:09:21.580 --> 00:09:23.290 LAVERNE COX: Kye's coaches and teammates 00:09:23.290 --> 00:09:25.450 were quick to offer support, but he 00:09:25.450 --> 00:09:27.880 found himself faced with a barrage of questions 00:09:27.880 --> 00:09:30.730 from the media that made focusing on basketball 00:09:30.730 --> 00:09:31.840 difficult. 00:09:31.840 --> 00:09:34.120 KYE: I went from doing a post game 00:09:34.120 --> 00:09:36.640 interview about the game of, oh, hey, Kye, 00:09:36.640 --> 00:09:38.210 so what did you think about this? 00:09:38.210 --> 00:09:39.790 How was that pass? 00:09:39.790 --> 00:09:43.375 Things about sports, to, so are you attracted to your teammates? 00:09:43.375 --> 00:09:44.750 Are you going to get the surgery? 00:09:44.750 --> 00:09:45.860 Do you have a penis? 00:09:45.860 --> 00:09:47.563 Like, what? 00:09:47.563 --> 00:09:49.730 How many sports do people play with their genitalia? 00:09:49.730 --> 00:09:51.140 I don't understand. 00:09:51.140 --> 00:09:54.080 How many jump shots has LeBron James made with his penis? 00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:55.420 I don't know. 00:09:55.420 --> 00:09:56.512 I don't think any, right? 00:09:56.512 --> 00:09:58.720 So why are you asking me that as if that has anything 00:09:58.720 --> 00:10:00.770 to do with my athletic ability? 00:10:00.770 --> 00:10:02.970 It doesn't. 00:10:02.970 --> 00:10:04.360 I was extremely overwhelmed. 00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:06.960 It was a lot, having everybody pay attention 00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:10.650 to me just because I want to change my name and my pronouns. 00:10:10.650 --> 00:10:12.450 All I wanted was for people to just focus 00:10:12.450 --> 00:10:15.235 on my athletic ability. 00:10:15.235 --> 00:10:17.610 And maybe the fact that I needed to work on my 3-pointers 00:10:17.610 --> 00:10:19.488 a little bit more. 00:10:19.488 --> 00:10:21.280 LAVERNE COX: While transitioning in college 00:10:21.280 --> 00:10:23.800 was complicated for Kye, coming out 00:10:23.800 --> 00:10:26.140 as trans in elementary school presented 00:10:26.140 --> 00:10:29.860 its own set of unique challenges for Zoey and her family. 00:10:29.860 --> 00:10:30.610 OFELIA: Oh, drama? 00:10:30.610 --> 00:10:31.750 ZOEY: I'm going into-- 00:10:31.750 --> 00:10:34.480 I might be going to the mad dramas. 00:10:34.480 --> 00:10:37.450 After I transitioned, I had a lot of problems 00:10:37.450 --> 00:10:38.420 with the school board. 00:10:38.420 --> 00:10:40.310 They would always give me a hard time. 00:10:40.310 --> 00:10:44.530 The students bullied me as well, but they didn't bully me as hard 00:10:44.530 --> 00:10:46.370 as the administrators did. 00:10:46.370 --> 00:10:48.050 They said, stay away from her. 00:10:48.050 --> 00:10:49.370 She's a really bad kid. 00:10:49.370 --> 00:10:50.710 She's like the Antichrist. 00:10:50.710 --> 00:10:52.480 Yeah, it was really hard. 00:10:52.480 --> 00:10:55.480 Next year, for sure, I'm doing a talent show. 00:10:55.480 --> 00:10:56.230 OFELIA: Good. 00:10:56.230 --> 00:10:57.880 Finally. 00:10:57.880 --> 00:11:00.370 A lot of people gave me a really hard time 00:11:00.370 --> 00:11:02.030 and they asked me to stop. 00:11:02.030 --> 00:11:04.210 They asked me not to encourage it. 00:11:04.210 --> 00:11:06.280 It wasn't up to them. 00:11:06.280 --> 00:11:08.140 If you see that your child is happy 00:11:08.140 --> 00:11:10.670 and they're living a regular life, 00:11:10.670 --> 00:11:13.510 why would you even want to change it just so they could 00:11:13.510 --> 00:11:17.230 fit into someone else's style? 00:11:17.230 --> 00:11:20.430 ZOEY: I had other people come and tell me, oh, you're a sin. 00:11:20.430 --> 00:11:24.360 You deserve to live in hell and you're going to burn someday. 00:11:24.360 --> 00:11:26.450 And I was like, OK, I'll see you there too. 00:11:26.450 --> 00:11:29.330 OFELIA: I remember sitting there in the whole crowd 00:11:29.330 --> 00:11:32.790 and being so afraid of how they were looking at her. 00:11:32.790 --> 00:11:34.430 But she does great. 00:11:34.430 --> 00:11:36.830 She's not afraid, and that's the good thing. 00:11:36.830 --> 00:11:42.210 I fought a lot with everybody to let her buy her Barbies, 00:11:42.210 --> 00:11:44.510 let her play with her toys. 00:11:44.510 --> 00:11:46.940 Just leave my kid alone. 00:11:46.940 --> 00:11:49.200 ZOEY: If my mom had not been supportive, 00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:50.720 I wouldn't be here today. 00:11:50.720 --> 00:11:54.365 I would probably be a suicide. 00:11:54.365 --> 00:11:56.250 OFELIA: You're just a little kid still. 00:11:56.250 --> 00:12:00.650 The more you grow, the stronger you're going to become. 00:12:00.650 --> 00:12:02.390 LAVERNE COX: Family support is crucial. 00:12:02.390 --> 00:12:05.030 A staggering 41% of transgender people 00:12:05.030 --> 00:12:07.470 have attempted suicide in their lifetime. 00:12:07.470 --> 00:12:09.990 That's nine times the national average. 00:12:09.990 --> 00:12:11.930 But the rate is lower for those who 00:12:11.930 --> 00:12:15.460 maintain a positive relationship with family after coming out. 00:12:15.460 --> 00:12:18.550 00:12:18.550 --> 00:12:19.845 KYE: I can't hear you, Mom. 00:12:19.845 --> 00:12:20.970 SPEAKER 1: Can you hear me. 00:12:20.970 --> 00:12:22.840 KYE: Yeah, I hear you. 00:12:22.840 --> 00:12:25.360 In terms of who's on board with me being trans, 00:12:25.360 --> 00:12:26.720 my siblings are great. 00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:28.910 They call me their brother. 00:12:28.910 --> 00:12:30.590 My mom is just-- she's-- 00:12:30.590 --> 00:12:31.930 I'm her oldest. 00:12:31.930 --> 00:12:35.770 If you ask her, I mean, she'll say that I'm her daughter. 00:12:35.770 --> 00:12:36.320 Hi, mom. 00:12:36.320 --> 00:12:37.540 SPEAKER 1: How is New York? 00:12:37.540 --> 00:12:39.100 KYE: It's busy. 00:12:39.100 --> 00:12:39.680 It's fun. 00:12:39.680 --> 00:12:40.250 It's cool. 00:12:40.250 --> 00:12:43.880 I went to Philly Trans Health Conference this past weekend. 00:12:43.880 --> 00:12:47.020 I talked to a trans kid and he was asking me 00:12:47.020 --> 00:12:52.240 about how to talk to his parents about pronouns 00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:53.843 because they won't switch. 00:12:53.843 --> 00:12:55.760 SPEAKER 1: What do you mean they won't switch? 00:12:55.760 --> 00:12:57.860 KYE: Like, they won't say, this is my son or he. 00:12:57.860 --> 00:12:59.590 They just-- they do what you do. 00:12:59.590 --> 00:13:01.822 They'll just play the pronoun, like, game and just-- 00:13:01.822 --> 00:13:03.280 SPEAKER 1: I don't say that either. 00:13:03.280 --> 00:13:04.850 KYE: You don't say anything. 00:13:04.850 --> 00:13:05.840 That's not better. 00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:07.810 That's worse, I feel. 00:13:07.810 --> 00:13:11.590 After I told my team, I told my mom. 00:13:11.590 --> 00:13:14.060 Being raised a Jehovah's Witness, it was difficult. 00:13:14.060 --> 00:13:16.360 It was difficult for me, difficult for my mom 00:13:16.360 --> 00:13:17.660 to process that. 00:13:17.660 --> 00:13:19.940 And it tore us apart. 00:13:19.940 --> 00:13:23.580 She just kept saying it was a phase. 00:13:23.580 --> 00:13:24.600 This is a phase. 00:13:24.600 --> 00:13:25.920 It's not right. 00:13:25.920 --> 00:13:29.178 The Bible says this, the Bible says that. 00:13:29.178 --> 00:13:31.220 SPEAKER 1: What I want you to understand is this. 00:13:31.220 --> 00:13:32.640 I gave birth to you. 00:13:32.640 --> 00:13:35.100 I breastfed you for a year. 00:13:35.100 --> 00:13:39.830 And it's very difficult to just wake up one day 00:13:39.830 --> 00:13:42.690 and go, OK, this is Kye. 00:13:42.690 --> 00:13:45.720 And you know it took me two years to just call you Kye, 00:13:45.720 --> 00:13:49.130 and I still will not call you a different gender 00:13:49.130 --> 00:13:53.390 because I see you as the child that I gave birth 00:13:53.390 --> 00:13:55.880 to which is a female. 00:13:55.880 --> 00:13:59.820 KYE: When my mom will give my siblings pronouns-- 00:13:59.820 --> 00:14:02.970 so like my little brother, this is her son, or my sister, 00:14:02.970 --> 00:14:04.220 this is her daughter. 00:14:04.220 --> 00:14:06.720 And then, this is Kye. 00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:09.920 That is the most hurtful to me because it makes 00:14:09.920 --> 00:14:11.180 me feel like I'm not a human. 00:14:11.180 --> 00:14:12.720 SPEAKER 1: An orange is an orange. 00:14:12.720 --> 00:14:14.000 You can't make it an apple. 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:16.560 You were born in a female body. 00:14:16.560 --> 00:14:18.660 KYE: Yes, I was born with a female body. 00:14:18.660 --> 00:14:19.460 Yes, I have. 00:14:19.460 --> 00:14:20.462 Yes, we know. 00:14:20.462 --> 00:14:21.420 But that's just a body. 00:14:21.420 --> 00:14:21.870 Mom. 00:14:21.870 --> 00:14:22.370 Mom. 00:14:22.370 --> 00:14:24.832 But that's just a bod-- 00:14:24.832 --> 00:14:26.540 SPEAKER 1: Why would you want to do that? 00:14:26.540 --> 00:14:29.100 Just answer that for me. 00:14:29.100 --> 00:14:30.810 KYE: Because being in that old body, 00:14:30.810 --> 00:14:32.600 I literally-- being in that old body 00:14:32.600 --> 00:14:36.610 made me feel like I didn't want to be alive anymore. 00:14:36.610 --> 00:14:37.790 It didn't feel comfortable. 00:14:37.790 --> 00:14:39.080 I couldn't even focus on basketball. 00:14:39.080 --> 00:14:39.980 I couldn't focus on school. 00:14:39.980 --> 00:14:41.630 I couldn't focus on doing anything. 00:14:41.630 --> 00:14:43.040 And until now. 00:14:43.040 --> 00:14:43.970 Now I finally see me. 00:14:43.970 --> 00:14:47.060 I feel comfortable and I can actually focus on my life. 00:14:47.060 --> 00:14:48.770 But before that, that wasn't me. 00:14:48.770 --> 00:14:51.020 SPEAKER 1: That's wonderful that you feel comfortable, 00:14:51.020 --> 00:14:53.270 and I'm glad you feel in tune with yourself. 00:14:53.270 --> 00:14:56.390 I would not love you any different than what you decide. 00:14:56.390 --> 00:15:02.450 But my reality is that you were born to me as a female. 00:15:02.450 --> 00:15:04.526 [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:15:04.526 --> 00:15:06.590 00:15:06.590 --> 00:15:09.970 KYE: Would I love for my mom to say it or to say, he and his? 00:15:09.970 --> 00:15:10.780 Yes. 00:15:10.780 --> 00:15:14.950 At the end of the day, my relationship with her supersedes 00:15:14.950 --> 00:15:15.880 pronouns. 00:15:15.880 --> 00:15:17.380 But the fact that she's not on board 00:15:17.380 --> 00:15:22.390 means that I can only handle so much. 00:15:22.390 --> 00:15:22.890 Yeah. 00:15:22.890 --> 00:15:24.010 I got to go. 00:15:24.010 --> 00:15:24.760 SPEAKER 1: OK. 00:15:24.760 --> 00:15:27.675 Well, I love you and be safe. 00:15:27.675 --> 00:15:28.300 KYE: All right. 00:15:28.300 --> 00:15:29.650 Love you, too. 00:15:29.650 --> 00:15:31.910 I'll talk to you tomorrow. 00:15:31.910 --> 00:15:34.533 (SINGING) But we're going to be OK. 00:15:34.533 --> 00:15:40.000 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:42.065 LAVERNE COX: Coming up on The T Word. 00:15:42.065 --> 00:15:43.690 ARI: I've never been comfortable enough 00:15:43.690 --> 00:15:46.330 with myself to let a girl touch me. 00:15:46.330 --> 00:15:48.070 SHANE: My mother said straight women will 00:15:48.070 --> 00:15:50.010 want to date a man and lesbians are 00:15:50.010 --> 00:15:51.260 going to want to date a woman. 00:15:51.260 --> 00:15:52.755 So who's going to want to date you? 00:15:52.755 --> 00:15:56.030 00:15:56.030 --> 00:15:58.370 LAVERNE COX: Building friendships and finding romance 00:15:58.370 --> 00:16:00.210 is rarely easy when you're young. 00:16:00.210 --> 00:16:03.710 But growing up trans can add another layer of complication 00:16:03.710 --> 00:16:06.175 to all of these rites of passage. 00:16:06.175 --> 00:16:07.550 ZOEY: If I was walking by a crowd 00:16:07.550 --> 00:16:09.180 in a school I was supposed to go to, 00:16:09.180 --> 00:16:11.300 they'd be like, OH, hey, gay boy. 00:16:11.300 --> 00:16:14.780 So I decided that it's best for me to move schools 00:16:14.780 --> 00:16:16.290 so I could find friends. 00:16:16.290 --> 00:16:18.630 DANIELLA: As a trans woman, I've lost a lot of friends. 00:16:18.630 --> 00:16:21.938 My life consists of Daniella, home, but that's it. 00:16:21.938 --> 00:16:23.730 AVERY: I think that friends are everything, 00:16:23.730 --> 00:16:26.570 and having supportive people around you is really important. 00:16:26.570 --> 00:16:29.570 Just one person that you can confide in and get 00:16:29.570 --> 00:16:32.990 some sort of validation of being a normal human being 00:16:32.990 --> 00:16:34.930 could mean everything to somebody. 00:16:34.930 --> 00:16:37.230 [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:16:37.230 --> 00:16:39.540 00:16:39.540 --> 00:16:40.668 ARI: What's good, dude? 00:16:40.668 --> 00:16:41.710 SIMONE: How are you, man? 00:16:41.710 --> 00:16:43.650 LAVERNE COX: For Ari, the social complications 00:16:43.650 --> 00:16:46.830 started when he revealed that he was trans to his classmates 00:16:46.830 --> 00:16:48.030 in ninth grade. 00:16:48.030 --> 00:16:50.430 ARI: I came out before high school when I was about 14 00:16:50.430 --> 00:16:53.740 as Ari, and that was really the beginning of my journey. 00:16:53.740 --> 00:16:59.560 I started really allowing myself to feel like a boy in public. 00:16:59.560 --> 00:17:01.290 SIMONE: Can we go? 00:17:01.290 --> 00:17:02.800 ARI: Yes. 00:17:02.800 --> 00:17:06.339 My high school was not the greatest place. 00:17:06.339 --> 00:17:09.310 My first year there, I got bullied a lot. 00:17:09.310 --> 00:17:12.515 There was just a group of guys that just really didn't like me. 00:17:12.515 --> 00:17:14.140 They went to the head of my high school 00:17:14.140 --> 00:17:16.432 and said that they weren't comfortable with me changing 00:17:16.432 --> 00:17:17.800 in the boys locker room. 00:17:17.800 --> 00:17:20.380 One of them mentioned that I watched them 00:17:20.380 --> 00:17:22.760 pee, which is just ridiculous. 00:17:22.760 --> 00:17:25.720 Like, nobody watches anybody pee. 00:17:25.720 --> 00:17:27.190 You've never seen Clueless? 00:17:27.190 --> 00:17:28.690 Dude. 00:17:28.690 --> 00:17:31.780 It's kind of a chick flick, but it's so funny. 00:17:31.780 --> 00:17:34.640 It was a really rough place to transition. 00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:36.800 I ended up not really making it there. 00:17:36.800 --> 00:17:38.080 I left. 00:17:38.080 --> 00:17:39.640 Do you want to sit here? 00:17:39.640 --> 00:17:40.210 SIMONE: Sure. 00:17:40.210 --> 00:17:40.840 ARI: OK. 00:17:40.840 --> 00:17:43.970 I started testosterone my sophomore year in high school, 00:17:43.970 --> 00:17:47.020 and that was one of the most exciting points in my life 00:17:47.020 --> 00:17:50.510 because I started a new high school, new people, fresh start, 00:17:50.510 --> 00:17:52.810 and my voice was low. 00:17:52.810 --> 00:17:55.030 From that point on, my transition 00:17:55.030 --> 00:18:00.820 became more of a life for Ari as a young guy. 00:18:00.820 --> 00:18:03.260 LAVERNE COX: Even though Ari has had several girlfriends 00:18:03.260 --> 00:18:05.540 in recent years, he still struggles 00:18:05.540 --> 00:18:09.240 with how to express his sexuality. 00:18:09.240 --> 00:18:10.550 SIMONE: What happened? 00:18:10.550 --> 00:18:12.590 ARI: This is how I get changed by myself. 00:18:12.590 --> 00:18:14.160 Dating and my sex life. 00:18:14.160 --> 00:18:18.720 It's a rough thing, especially because, at least for me, 00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:23.450 sex is something that's always been really scary to me. 00:18:23.450 --> 00:18:25.190 If I get with a girl, what if she 00:18:25.190 --> 00:18:27.645 tries to put her hand in my pants and then freaks out? 00:18:27.645 --> 00:18:30.020 Because that's happened to me before and it really sucks. 00:18:30.020 --> 00:18:31.728 SIMONE: Who are you excited about seeing? 00:18:31.728 --> 00:18:32.430 Anyone specific? 00:18:32.430 --> 00:18:33.680 ARI: I mean, everybody. 00:18:33.680 --> 00:18:37.243 Definitely super ultra mega excited for Rachel 00:18:37.243 --> 00:18:37.910 to come, though. 00:18:37.910 --> 00:18:41.390 Today is my 18th birthday, and I'm going to be having a bunch 00:18:41.390 --> 00:18:44.770 of my really close friends over for a decent size little party. 00:18:44.770 --> 00:18:48.030 00:18:48.030 --> 00:18:50.530 Aw, you bought me a cake. 00:18:50.530 --> 00:18:53.080 I'm warning all of you, Mobley might hump you. 00:18:53.080 --> 00:18:53.710 No, no. 00:18:53.710 --> 00:18:55.280 He will hump you. 00:18:55.280 --> 00:18:57.240 Hey, get out of my house. 00:18:57.240 --> 00:18:59.280 RACHEL: Happy birthday, you. 00:18:59.280 --> 00:19:00.780 ARI: Thank you so much. 00:19:00.780 --> 00:19:03.750 I've had so many opportunities to have sex 00:19:03.750 --> 00:19:07.590 and I haven't been able to ever have it. 00:19:07.590 --> 00:19:10.140 Welcome, welcome. 00:19:10.140 --> 00:19:12.030 Even with a girlfriend, I've never 00:19:12.030 --> 00:19:17.032 been comfortable enough with myself to let a girl touch me. 00:19:17.032 --> 00:19:19.342 [CHEERING] 00:19:19.342 --> 00:19:22.120 00:19:22.120 --> 00:19:24.490 Thank you, guys. 00:19:24.490 --> 00:19:28.120 The relationship relies on everything but sex. 00:19:28.120 --> 00:19:29.360 Now I gots to make a wish. 00:19:29.360 --> 00:19:32.800 And it can't be the wish that I told certain people. 00:19:32.800 --> 00:19:36.760 Being trans and dating can be really tricky and a really 00:19:36.760 --> 00:19:40.420 emotional thing, and you have to really find someone who's safe 00:19:40.420 --> 00:19:42.700 and who is really, really supportive 00:19:42.700 --> 00:19:47.050 and proves to you that they're supportive. 00:19:47.050 --> 00:19:48.880 LAVERNE COX: Dating and sex can definitely 00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:52.690 be harder for some trans people to navigate. 00:19:52.690 --> 00:19:54.760 SPEAKER 5: Let's go back and graph 00:19:54.760 --> 00:19:56.850 some more of these equations. 00:19:56.850 --> 00:19:59.120 LAVERNE COX: But Shane from Baltimore, Maryland, 00:19:59.120 --> 00:20:03.776 is living proof that true love can transcend gender boundaries. 00:20:03.776 --> 00:20:07.180 00:20:07.180 --> 00:20:10.180 SHANE: When I came out as trans, relationships 00:20:10.180 --> 00:20:14.120 were a very complicated thing for me because I really-- 00:20:14.120 --> 00:20:17.410 like my mother said, who is going to love me? 00:20:17.410 --> 00:20:19.900 She was worried as a mother that I wouldn't 00:20:19.900 --> 00:20:22.370 be able to find a partner to share my life with because she 00:20:22.370 --> 00:20:26.110 said, straight women will want to date a man and lesbians are 00:20:26.110 --> 00:20:27.360 going to want to date a woman. 00:20:27.360 --> 00:20:30.230 So who is going to want to date you? 00:20:30.230 --> 00:20:34.010 So I had this little, like, Amish boy haircut. 00:20:34.010 --> 00:20:35.820 I hated having long hair. 00:20:35.820 --> 00:20:38.700 And every time that I did have long hair, 00:20:38.700 --> 00:20:40.500 I just threw it up in a ponytail. 00:20:40.500 --> 00:20:42.720 And I believed it for a long time. 00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:45.930 I didn't think that anyone would love me. 00:20:45.930 --> 00:20:47.960 I played baseball for a while. 00:20:47.960 --> 00:20:49.730 And I thought that it would always 00:20:49.730 --> 00:20:51.860 have to be the baggage that I brought along 00:20:51.860 --> 00:20:54.240 into whatever relationship that I was bringing. 00:20:54.240 --> 00:20:55.380 Hey, I'm trans. 00:20:55.380 --> 00:20:56.423 I hope that that's OK. 00:20:56.423 --> 00:20:59.390 00:20:59.390 --> 00:21:00.830 JESS: Trying to spice it up? 00:21:00.830 --> 00:21:02.660 ARI: You're always spicing it up. 00:21:02.660 --> 00:21:06.975 I didn't think that anyone would love me or be able to love me. 00:21:06.975 --> 00:21:08.600 JESS: I can't believe it's been a year. 00:21:08.600 --> 00:21:11.330 I mean, I can believe, but I can't believe it's been a year. 00:21:11.330 --> 00:21:12.340 SHANE: Until Jess. 00:21:12.340 --> 00:21:14.980 00:21:14.980 --> 00:21:18.550 We met through a mutual friend, and then one day our friends 00:21:18.550 --> 00:21:20.620 had gone out and we were left alone, 00:21:20.620 --> 00:21:22.680 and we started talking about life. 00:21:22.680 --> 00:21:26.440 I'd never heard another human vocalize the thoughts 00:21:26.440 --> 00:21:29.330 in my head so articulately. 00:21:29.330 --> 00:21:31.278 And from that point on, I was like, 00:21:31.278 --> 00:21:32.820 she's going to be in my life somehow. 00:21:32.820 --> 00:21:37.080 00:21:37.080 --> 00:21:38.190 Come on. 00:21:38.190 --> 00:21:39.630 JESS: Don't pull me in. 00:21:39.630 --> 00:21:41.820 I don't trust you. 00:21:41.820 --> 00:21:44.190 That's why I don't trust you. 00:21:44.190 --> 00:21:47.010 I did not know anything about trans people 00:21:47.010 --> 00:21:50.640 or the trans community prior to dating Shane. 00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:51.840 [CHATTER] 00:21:51.840 --> 00:21:52.920 00:21:52.920 --> 00:21:56.880 The first time we were intimate, we were taking a shower 00:21:56.880 --> 00:22:00.420 together, and he said, I know you haven't seen any other trans 00:22:00.420 --> 00:22:02.340 people naked, and I just didn't want 00:22:02.340 --> 00:22:04.690 to get naked and throw you off. 00:22:04.690 --> 00:22:07.630 I say, Shane, you're not an alien. 00:22:07.630 --> 00:22:10.300 You're going to have parts that I'm familiar with, 00:22:10.300 --> 00:22:11.120 and that's fine. 00:22:11.120 --> 00:22:13.950 00:22:13.950 --> 00:22:15.290 I'm kind of treading water. 00:22:15.290 --> 00:22:17.040 SHANE: I know. 00:22:17.040 --> 00:22:20.700 I avoided pools for so long, I forgot how to swim. 00:22:20.700 --> 00:22:21.540 JESS: I can imagine. 00:22:21.540 --> 00:22:23.550 SHANE: No, it's a real thing. 00:22:23.550 --> 00:22:26.850 I knew from literally the first time I kissed her 00:22:26.850 --> 00:22:28.660 that I wanted to marry her. 00:22:28.660 --> 00:22:31.840 Within the week of kissing, we were officially dating, 00:22:31.840 --> 00:22:34.770 and within six weeks, we had moved in together. 00:22:34.770 --> 00:22:39.970 She is what I largely attribute to how successful I am, 00:22:39.970 --> 00:22:42.740 because she shows me support, unconditional love, 00:22:42.740 --> 00:22:44.810 and makes me feel like I can do anything. 00:22:44.810 --> 00:22:46.900 And it's amazing. 00:22:46.900 --> 00:22:49.305 [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:22:49.305 --> 00:22:57.970 00:22:57.970 --> 00:23:00.310 LAVERNE COX: Coming up on The T Word. 00:23:00.310 --> 00:23:03.020 AVERY: I wrote, hey, I have to tell you something important. 00:23:03.020 --> 00:23:04.840 LAVERNE COX: Avery reveals the complexities 00:23:04.840 --> 00:23:07.480 of dating as a trans woman and the danger 00:23:07.480 --> 00:23:09.920 she faces just for being herself. 00:23:09.920 --> 00:23:11.960 AVERY: I don't like to disclose in person. 00:23:11.960 --> 00:23:14.440 It's a very real possibility that we 00:23:14.440 --> 00:23:16.040 can be harmed physically. 00:23:16.040 --> 00:23:19.810 00:23:19.810 --> 00:23:22.270 LAVERNE COX: For most people, being perceived as the gender 00:23:22.270 --> 00:23:25.660 we identify as goes a long way towards making 00:23:25.660 --> 00:23:28.540 our daily lives less stressful. 00:23:28.540 --> 00:23:31.540 SHANE: I have what I call passing privilege, which 00:23:31.540 --> 00:23:34.070 is that when I'm walking down the street, 00:23:34.070 --> 00:23:36.830 people don't know that I'm trans. 00:23:36.830 --> 00:23:40.730 They're perceiving me as a straight white man. 00:23:40.730 --> 00:23:43.100 But not everybody has that privilege. 00:23:43.100 --> 00:23:44.770 KYE: I decided to take testosterone 00:23:44.770 --> 00:23:47.690 because every time I would walk anywhere, 00:23:47.690 --> 00:23:49.600 I would try to order a sandwich, they would 00:23:49.600 --> 00:23:50.920 ask, how can I help you, sir? 00:23:50.920 --> 00:23:54.220 And I would answer and I'd say, I want a roast beef sandwich. 00:23:54.220 --> 00:23:56.110 And they'd be like, I'm sorry, ma'am. 00:23:56.110 --> 00:23:57.050 I'm like, no, no, no. 00:23:57.050 --> 00:23:58.383 You had it right the first time. 00:23:58.383 --> 00:24:01.630 LAVERNE COX: But sometimes the consequences of not passing 00:24:01.630 --> 00:24:03.815 can be very serious. 00:24:03.815 --> 00:24:05.440 AVERY: My definition of getting clocked 00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:08.950 is somebody realizing you're not a cis born 00:24:08.950 --> 00:24:11.090 woman or a regular girl. 00:24:11.090 --> 00:24:12.760 When I got clocked, I felt like I 00:24:12.760 --> 00:24:15.850 was representing what I wanted to show, 00:24:15.850 --> 00:24:19.520 and it made me feel very insecure. 00:24:19.520 --> 00:24:23.030 LAVERNE COX: 20-year-old Avery has been identifying as female 00:24:23.030 --> 00:24:24.440 for five years. 00:24:24.440 --> 00:24:27.740 AVERY: I grew up with a single mom and four sisters. 00:24:27.740 --> 00:24:30.375 It was a lot of estrogen, a lot of girls. 00:24:30.375 --> 00:24:32.000 LAVERNE COX: At what point in your life 00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:34.070 did you realize that you were different? 00:24:34.070 --> 00:24:37.210 AVERY: Probably when I was, like, 15. 00:24:37.210 --> 00:24:39.250 I had two older sisters and they always 00:24:39.250 --> 00:24:42.910 wanted me to be their hot little brother that got girls and was 00:24:42.910 --> 00:24:44.150 a player and stuff. 00:24:44.150 --> 00:24:45.880 But that really wasn't me. 00:24:45.880 --> 00:24:48.470 Ever since that kind of stuff was happening, I was like, 00:24:48.470 --> 00:24:49.940 this doesn't feel right. 00:24:49.940 --> 00:24:51.740 LAVERNE COX: Because more often than not, 00:24:51.740 --> 00:24:53.900 Avery's perceived as the female she is. 00:24:53.900 --> 00:24:57.410 She struggles with how and when to reveal she's trans. 00:24:57.410 --> 00:25:00.880 She knows all too well that doing so to the wrong person 00:25:00.880 --> 00:25:03.560 at the wrong time can be dangerous. 00:25:03.560 --> 00:25:06.370 AVERY: So I've been talking to this guy and I met him online 00:25:06.370 --> 00:25:09.640 and he's really funny, and I haven't 00:25:09.640 --> 00:25:11.710 disclosed that I'm trans yet. 00:25:11.710 --> 00:25:15.030 And I'm a little nervous to see what he says. 00:25:15.030 --> 00:25:18.330 There's a time where I didn't disclose that I was trans 00:25:18.330 --> 00:25:20.412 and that didn't go so well. 00:25:20.412 --> 00:25:21.870 LAVERNE COX: The threat of violence 00:25:21.870 --> 00:25:23.545 is something that's really real for you. 00:25:23.545 --> 00:25:25.170 AVERY: That's a real possibility for me 00:25:25.170 --> 00:25:27.520 because, sometimes, especially with girls like us, 00:25:27.520 --> 00:25:28.880 we like to test our realness. 00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:30.990 We like to go out and be like, oh, we're 00:25:30.990 --> 00:25:32.770 so unclockable and everything. 00:25:32.770 --> 00:25:36.120 But it's a very real possibility that we 00:25:36.120 --> 00:25:37.780 can be harmed physically. 00:25:37.780 --> 00:25:41.662 You always see cases where these women are murdered and killed, 00:25:41.662 --> 00:25:43.620 and that's always in the back of my head, which 00:25:43.620 --> 00:25:46.260 is why I'm always cautious when it comes to dating. 00:25:46.260 --> 00:25:48.970 I wrote, hey, I have to tell you something important. 00:25:48.970 --> 00:25:51.810 I need to let you know that I'm transgender. 00:25:51.810 --> 00:25:54.040 I don't like to disclose in person. 00:25:54.040 --> 00:25:56.060 I like to be a little cautious about that. 00:25:56.060 --> 00:25:57.650 Texting is the best way. 00:25:57.650 --> 00:25:58.920 LAVERNE COX: For safety? 00:25:58.920 --> 00:26:00.960 AVERY: Exactly. 00:26:00.960 --> 00:26:03.720 OK, so he just asked. 00:26:03.720 --> 00:26:05.840 So what do you have down there? 00:26:05.840 --> 00:26:08.590 This is actually really typical in a lot of guys. 00:26:08.590 --> 00:26:12.420 I feel like it's really kind of insensitive and very personal 00:26:12.420 --> 00:26:13.678 to ask. 00:26:13.678 --> 00:26:14.220 I don't know. 00:26:14.220 --> 00:26:15.070 We just met. 00:26:15.070 --> 00:26:20.890 Like, I don't want to talk about that area down there. 00:26:20.890 --> 00:26:24.220 00:26:24.220 --> 00:26:26.980 LAVERNE COX: So many people will say that no matter 00:26:26.980 --> 00:26:28.968 what surgery you have, you're always 00:26:28.968 --> 00:26:30.760 the gender that you were assigned at birth. 00:26:30.760 --> 00:26:32.875 Even if you have bottom surgery, definitely 00:26:32.875 --> 00:26:34.250 if you don't have bottom surgery, 00:26:34.250 --> 00:26:36.200 you are the gender you were assigned at birth. 00:26:36.200 --> 00:26:37.820 What would you say to them? 00:26:37.820 --> 00:26:40.160 AVERY: I feel like that is just ignorant. 00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:42.410 Women come in all shapes and sizes, 00:26:42.410 --> 00:26:44.860 and I feel like just to discredit us 00:26:44.860 --> 00:26:47.050 because we were born with a certain genitalia 00:26:47.050 --> 00:26:48.420 is kind of ignorant. 00:26:48.420 --> 00:26:51.250 00:26:51.250 --> 00:26:52.860 I feel like it's more fluid than that. 00:26:52.860 --> 00:26:55.680 00:26:55.680 --> 00:26:56.645 He wrote, I'm sorry. 00:26:56.645 --> 00:26:57.395 I'm not into that. 00:26:57.395 --> 00:26:59.970 00:26:59.970 --> 00:27:01.510 I don't know why you took two hours, 00:27:01.510 --> 00:27:04.670 but it didn't work out, so. 00:27:04.670 --> 00:27:06.170 LAVERNE COX: Most of the time, Avery 00:27:06.170 --> 00:27:08.450 says she experiences rejection when 00:27:08.450 --> 00:27:10.560 she discloses that she's trans. 00:27:10.560 --> 00:27:12.770 But sometimes she meets someone who's 00:27:12.770 --> 00:27:15.632 open to getting to know her just the way she is. 00:27:15.632 --> 00:27:16.590 AVERY: Hi, how are you? 00:27:16.590 --> 00:27:17.632 DONNIE: Nice to meet you. 00:27:17.632 --> 00:27:19.160 AVERY: Nice to meet you too. 00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:23.270 How do you feel about the whole topic of transgender people 00:27:23.270 --> 00:27:23.945 in general? 00:27:23.945 --> 00:27:25.320 DONNIE: Does it make you happier? 00:27:25.320 --> 00:27:26.073 AVERY: Yeah. 00:27:26.073 --> 00:27:27.240 DONNIE: That's what matters. 00:27:27.240 --> 00:27:29.310 That's really what the important part is. 00:27:29.310 --> 00:27:31.890 AVERY: It's not for everyone, obviously. 00:27:31.890 --> 00:27:37.620 And it can be a total game changer, which I understand. 00:27:37.620 --> 00:27:39.890 Which is why I'm glad you're OK with it. 00:27:39.890 --> 00:27:43.010 The first date went pretty well. 00:27:43.010 --> 00:27:45.350 He is really good at keeping a conversation 00:27:45.350 --> 00:27:47.940 and he's funny and sweet. 00:27:47.940 --> 00:27:50.000 It makes me feel validated and it 00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:52.490 makes me feel like I'm a normal person, which 00:27:52.490 --> 00:27:54.060 is the most important thing. 00:27:54.060 --> 00:27:57.163 Like I'm a normal girl. 00:27:57.163 --> 00:27:58.580 LAVERNE COX: While Avery navigates 00:27:58.580 --> 00:28:02.720 the politics of dating while trans, 00:28:02.720 --> 00:28:06.490 L'lerret is struggling with politics of a different kind. 00:28:06.490 --> 00:28:07.740 L'LERRET: My name is L'lerret. 00:28:07.740 --> 00:28:09.310 I'm 20 years old. 00:28:09.310 --> 00:28:13.800 I go to a very private Catholic HBCU, Historically Black 00:28:13.800 --> 00:28:14.820 University. 00:28:14.820 --> 00:28:17.190 I try to just perfect my makeup because that's 00:28:17.190 --> 00:28:18.210 part of my family. 00:28:18.210 --> 00:28:20.580 Makeup is just, like, my armor. 00:28:20.580 --> 00:28:23.550 I started hormones in January, and it's 00:28:23.550 --> 00:28:24.830 been a wonderful process. 00:28:24.830 --> 00:28:26.410 It's been very transformative. 00:28:26.410 --> 00:28:28.800 I've learned so much about myself. 00:28:28.800 --> 00:28:31.253 So I'm looking for, like, a pore filler. 00:28:31.253 --> 00:28:33.420 Something to make the skin smoother looking before I 00:28:33.420 --> 00:28:34.980 put on the foundation and stuff. 00:28:34.980 --> 00:28:36.420 When you're getting clocked, it's 00:28:36.420 --> 00:28:39.450 like when you are just living your life trying 00:28:39.450 --> 00:28:42.210 to be yourself authentically, and people can tell. 00:28:42.210 --> 00:28:45.960 So people that don't pass, they do experience a lot more 00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:50.470 adversity because when a lot of people experience trans women, 00:28:50.470 --> 00:28:53.220 they don't know how to react to us. 00:28:53.220 --> 00:28:55.050 LAVERNE COX: Across the country, studies 00:28:55.050 --> 00:28:57.210 show that trans women of color face 00:28:57.210 --> 00:29:00.180 higher levels of police profiling and harassment 00:29:00.180 --> 00:29:02.050 than the general population. 00:29:02.050 --> 00:29:04.290 And L'lerret is one of the many trans 00:29:04.290 --> 00:29:08.130 women in New Orleans who say they have been unjustly targeted 00:29:08.130 --> 00:29:09.310 by the police. 00:29:09.310 --> 00:29:12.060 L'LERRET: This is Tulane Avenue, and this is probably 00:29:12.060 --> 00:29:14.340 one of the biggest hotspots for the police 00:29:14.340 --> 00:29:17.980 to come to meet their quota and criminalize trans women, 00:29:17.980 --> 00:29:19.540 especially trans women of color. 00:29:19.540 --> 00:29:21.870 There's the stereotype that all Black trans 00:29:21.870 --> 00:29:25.680 women are sex workers. 00:29:25.680 --> 00:29:27.520 No one goes to Bourbon when the sun's out. 00:29:27.520 --> 00:29:28.380 We go at night. 00:29:28.380 --> 00:29:30.423 So if I'm leaving school to go to Bourbon, 00:29:30.423 --> 00:29:32.340 then of course I'm dressed cute because I want 00:29:32.340 --> 00:29:33.760 to look cute down in Bourbon. 00:29:33.760 --> 00:29:37.770 Just the fear of being stopped by the police is a problem. 00:29:37.770 --> 00:29:39.990 They could see that as me trying to flaunt my body 00:29:39.990 --> 00:29:42.570 and they would crack down on me as a way 00:29:42.570 --> 00:29:45.400 to prevent me from being harmed is what they say. 00:29:45.400 --> 00:29:48.160 But when they crack down on us consistently, 00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:49.920 there becomes this whole understanding 00:29:49.920 --> 00:29:51.420 that all trans women are sex workers 00:29:51.420 --> 00:29:55.290 and they must dehumanize us because that's who we are. 00:29:55.290 --> 00:29:58.258 The intersections of being transgender, being Black, 00:29:58.258 --> 00:30:00.550 and being a woman altogether, walking out late at night 00:30:00.550 --> 00:30:02.190 is not a thing that we do anymore. 00:30:02.190 --> 00:30:03.910 People think that when you're out here, 00:30:03.910 --> 00:30:05.640 you're just like, open bait. 00:30:05.640 --> 00:30:07.570 They'll honk their horns, they'll stop. 00:30:07.570 --> 00:30:09.810 We in New Orleans are really working 00:30:09.810 --> 00:30:12.280 to change this environment and change the system. 00:30:12.280 --> 00:30:15.150 So that trans women don't feel afraid of going out 00:30:15.150 --> 00:30:16.450 at certain times at night. 00:30:16.450 --> 00:30:18.750 [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:30:18.750 --> 00:30:20.130 00:30:20.130 --> 00:30:22.630 CROWD: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 00:30:22.630 --> 00:30:25.090 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 00:30:25.090 --> 00:30:25.722 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 00:30:25.722 --> 00:30:27.180 L'LERRET: Five or six months ago, I 00:30:27.180 --> 00:30:28.900 joined an organization called Breakout. 00:30:28.900 --> 00:30:30.900 Youth Breakout in New Orleans, and it's 00:30:30.900 --> 00:30:34.410 centered around the decriminalization of LGBT youth 00:30:34.410 --> 00:30:36.450 of color in New Orleans. 00:30:36.450 --> 00:30:39.060 Having Breakout as that outlet for all the youth 00:30:39.060 --> 00:30:41.700 to come together and start owning their power 00:30:41.700 --> 00:30:43.950 and using their truths to really affect 00:30:43.950 --> 00:30:45.450 some change in the community, I feel 00:30:45.450 --> 00:30:46.420 like that's really important. 00:30:46.420 --> 00:30:48.330 I think that's where Breakout is going to go 00:30:48.330 --> 00:30:49.710 is going to mobilize the youth. 00:30:49.710 --> 00:30:51.210 At the end of the day, I'm not going 00:30:51.210 --> 00:30:53.490 to be scared of being who I am, but I 00:30:53.490 --> 00:30:58.860 do understand that being that person is dangerous. 00:30:58.860 --> 00:31:01.380 LAVERNE COX: Coming up on The T Word. 00:31:01.380 --> 00:31:03.420 DANIELLA: Last year, in the middle of spring, 00:31:03.420 --> 00:31:06.270 on this very same corner, I was pulled off the streets 00:31:06.270 --> 00:31:07.893 and I was raped by a guy. 00:31:07.893 --> 00:31:09.810 LAVERNE COX: I always connect to these stories 00:31:09.810 --> 00:31:11.727 because I've been catcalled and then someone's 00:31:11.727 --> 00:31:14.630 realized that I'm trans and I fear for my life. 00:31:14.630 --> 00:31:19.950 00:31:19.950 --> 00:31:22.800 The trans community is enjoying more awareness 00:31:22.800 --> 00:31:25.510 and social equality than ever before. 00:31:25.510 --> 00:31:28.500 But anti-trans bias is still pervasive, 00:31:28.500 --> 00:31:30.420 and violence against trans people 00:31:30.420 --> 00:31:33.233 remains disproportionately high. 00:31:33.233 --> 00:31:34.650 ZOEY: Of course I've been bullied. 00:31:34.650 --> 00:31:36.550 I've gotten people threatening me. 00:31:36.550 --> 00:31:38.370 I've never been physically harmed, 00:31:38.370 --> 00:31:39.900 but I have been threatened. 00:31:39.900 --> 00:31:40.900 KYE: I was just walking. 00:31:40.900 --> 00:31:42.720 One guy, he comes right in my face 00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:45.510 and just like, oh, so you think you a man, you think you a girl. 00:31:45.510 --> 00:31:46.360 Like, come on, son. 00:31:46.360 --> 00:31:48.100 Like, I'm going to show you what it's like to be a man. 00:31:48.100 --> 00:31:48.600 Da, da. 00:31:48.600 --> 00:31:49.480 And I'm just like-- 00:31:49.480 --> 00:31:50.980 and I was just looking at him, like, 00:31:50.980 --> 00:31:52.590 is this really happening right now? 00:31:52.590 --> 00:31:55.780 SHANE: I went to the 7-Eleven up the road. 00:31:55.780 --> 00:32:00.000 These two guys came in and they said, are you a boy or a girl? 00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:01.090 I didn't say anything. 00:32:01.090 --> 00:32:02.470 I didn't want to get into it with them. 00:32:02.470 --> 00:32:04.678 And then they started to get more aggressive about it 00:32:04.678 --> 00:32:06.070 and they were like, what is it? 00:32:06.070 --> 00:32:09.370 And I became an it, and I was no longer a person. 00:32:09.370 --> 00:32:11.190 LAVERNE COX: And since LGBT youth 00:32:11.190 --> 00:32:13.770 are much more likely than the general population 00:32:13.770 --> 00:32:15.840 to experience homelessness, they're 00:32:15.840 --> 00:32:19.145 even more susceptible to becoming victims of crime. 00:32:19.145 --> 00:32:24.260 00:32:24.260 --> 00:32:25.270 DANIELLA: I'm fine. 00:32:25.270 --> 00:32:27.370 How are you? 00:32:27.370 --> 00:32:30.400 LAVERNE COX: 20-year-old Daniella from New York knows 00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:34.120 first hand the dangers of being a trans woman living 00:32:34.120 --> 00:32:35.128 on the streets. 00:32:35.128 --> 00:32:36.670 DANIELLA: I was raised in foster care 00:32:36.670 --> 00:32:41.440 from 18 months old until escaping around 16 officially. 00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:44.120 Growing up in foster care was really rough, 00:32:44.120 --> 00:32:47.720 and by the age of 16, I just wanted to be free. 00:32:47.720 --> 00:32:49.750 I was sleeping on the trains, sleeping 00:32:49.750 --> 00:32:51.980 in the parks, the village. 00:32:51.980 --> 00:32:53.970 That was my reality for quite some time. 00:32:53.970 --> 00:32:58.720 00:32:58.720 --> 00:33:00.730 Last year, in the middle of spring, 00:33:00.730 --> 00:33:03.580 on this very same corner, I was pulled off the streets 00:33:03.580 --> 00:33:06.100 and I was raped by a guy. 00:33:06.100 --> 00:33:07.120 He, like, has a knife. 00:33:07.120 --> 00:33:09.500 And he's like, bitch, say another word and these 00:33:09.500 --> 00:33:10.985 will be your last words. 00:33:10.985 --> 00:33:13.360 It's that moment where you just, like-- you don't realize 00:33:13.360 --> 00:33:15.350 that this is happening to you. 00:33:15.350 --> 00:33:16.090 You know? 00:33:16.090 --> 00:33:18.860 You're like, damn, do I scream? 00:33:18.860 --> 00:33:21.160 Do I shout? 00:33:21.160 --> 00:33:22.460 So now here we are. 00:33:22.460 --> 00:33:23.520 We're in this car. 00:33:23.520 --> 00:33:26.310 And I remember, my hand was shaking unbearably. 00:33:26.310 --> 00:33:29.720 And I remember him like, telling me, stop shaking, stop shaking. 00:33:29.720 --> 00:33:32.700 I was just begging him, please, just take all my money. 00:33:32.700 --> 00:33:35.270 Take everything I own and just let me go. 00:33:35.270 --> 00:33:37.730 But my property wasn't enough. 00:33:37.730 --> 00:33:41.600 The only property he wanted to own was my body. 00:33:41.600 --> 00:33:44.700 You feel so helpless that all you could think about is, 00:33:44.700 --> 00:33:46.460 will I make it out of this alive? 00:33:46.460 --> 00:33:49.890 Every single day when I walk outside at night 00:33:49.890 --> 00:33:51.470 becomes that moment for me. 00:33:51.470 --> 00:33:53.430 Will I be a survivor or will I be a victim? 00:33:53.430 --> 00:33:56.002 00:33:56.002 --> 00:33:57.460 LAVERNE COX: So what happened next? 00:33:57.460 --> 00:33:58.890 DANIELLA: Then we get to the hospital. 00:33:58.890 --> 00:34:01.182 And I remember like everyone saying to me, don't worry, 00:34:01.182 --> 00:34:02.390 things are going to be fine. 00:34:02.390 --> 00:34:03.903 We're going to give you a rape kit 00:34:03.903 --> 00:34:05.820 and I'm sorry to have to put you through this, 00:34:05.820 --> 00:34:08.250 but we have to stick it in the female area. 00:34:08.250 --> 00:34:13.190 And I was just like, yeah, but I don't think that's possible. 00:34:13.190 --> 00:34:15.300 And then they said, so how did he rape you? 00:34:15.300 --> 00:34:17.330 And I said, well, he, like, put it 00:34:17.330 --> 00:34:19.290 in the anal and stuff like that. 00:34:19.290 --> 00:34:23.179 And she says, oh, and he raped you like that? 00:34:23.179 --> 00:34:24.650 Because I could feel the shift now. 00:34:24.650 --> 00:34:26.130 You're sure it wasn't sex work? 00:34:26.130 --> 00:34:29.219 LAVERNE COX: The second she found out that you were trans, 00:34:29.219 --> 00:34:31.255 she basically accused you of being a sex worker. 00:34:31.255 --> 00:34:31.880 DANIELLA: Yeah. 00:34:31.880 --> 00:34:33.818 And then started telling me, like, oh, 00:34:33.818 --> 00:34:37.550 you sure you wasn't prostituting and he took advantage 00:34:37.550 --> 00:34:39.480 and he didn't give you what you wanted 00:34:39.480 --> 00:34:42.485 and now you're saying that it's rape to get back at him? 00:34:42.485 --> 00:34:44.610 I'll never forget it, because here I am, just like, 00:34:44.610 --> 00:34:46.485 you're not going to get treated with respect. 00:34:46.485 --> 00:34:49.570 00:34:49.570 --> 00:34:52.489 LAVERNE COX: Daniella was lucky to escape with her life. 00:34:52.489 --> 00:34:58.030 But sadly, stories like hers are all too common. 00:34:58.030 --> 00:34:59.830 DANIELLA: I'm taking in this moment 00:34:59.830 --> 00:35:02.870 where I'm like, wow, look at the things you've encountered, 00:35:02.870 --> 00:35:07.660 but look at all of the things you did to move past that. 00:35:07.660 --> 00:35:09.490 And it's making me emotional because I'm 00:35:09.490 --> 00:35:10.990 thinking about everybody else that's 00:35:10.990 --> 00:35:13.680 coming, and knowing that this is where they have to live. 00:35:13.680 --> 00:35:16.415 00:35:16.415 --> 00:35:18.860 [THUNDER] 00:35:18.860 --> 00:35:35.510 00:35:35.510 --> 00:35:38.030 LAVERNE COX: We are going to the site 00:35:38.030 --> 00:35:42.680 where Islan Nettles was murdered almost a year ago. 00:35:42.680 --> 00:35:44.360 This girl was 21 years old. 00:35:44.360 --> 00:35:46.400 She had been homeless and she was 00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:49.670 beaten into a coma on Frederick Douglas Avenue in front 00:35:49.670 --> 00:35:51.120 of a police precinct. 00:35:51.120 --> 00:35:54.710 The police pulled a young man off of her, arrested him 00:35:54.710 --> 00:35:56.570 for assault, and once she died, they 00:35:56.570 --> 00:35:58.910 dropped the assault charges because they allegedly 00:35:58.910 --> 00:36:01.980 want to bring homicide charges against this person. 00:36:01.980 --> 00:36:03.710 But they haven't done it yet because they 00:36:03.710 --> 00:36:05.520 don't have enough evidence. 00:36:05.520 --> 00:36:06.870 It's a year later. 00:36:06.870 --> 00:36:08.660 I always connect to these stories 00:36:08.660 --> 00:36:10.970 because I've been Islan Nettles walking down the street 00:36:10.970 --> 00:36:13.400 and catcalled and someone's realized that I'm trans 00:36:13.400 --> 00:36:18.270 and I fear for my life. 00:36:18.270 --> 00:36:18.770 Hey. 00:36:18.770 --> 00:36:24.180 00:36:24.180 --> 00:36:27.715 So this is the place where it happened. 00:36:27.715 --> 00:36:29.230 This is for Island, that we never 00:36:29.230 --> 00:36:33.190 forget young women like her who are fighting for their lives 00:36:33.190 --> 00:36:35.370 or who may have lost their lives. 00:36:35.370 --> 00:36:38.120 We remember you and we love you, Islan. 00:36:38.120 --> 00:36:40.430 [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:36:40.430 --> 00:36:44.130 00:36:44.130 --> 00:36:46.710 I'm just having all of these flashbacks to CeCe McDonald's 00:36:46.710 --> 00:36:47.210 story. 00:36:47.210 --> 00:36:48.990 CeCe McDonald is a young trans woman 00:36:48.990 --> 00:36:51.300 who, like Islan, was walking down the street 00:36:51.300 --> 00:36:52.720 and then was violently attacked. 00:36:52.720 --> 00:36:54.120 CeCe survived. 00:36:54.120 --> 00:36:56.190 Her gifts for survival was a prison sentence 00:36:56.190 --> 00:36:59.620 because, in defending herself, one of her attackers was killed. 00:36:59.620 --> 00:37:02.620 If you look at Jules Gutierrez's story in Northern California, 00:37:02.620 --> 00:37:05.590 she was attacked at her school by a group of young girls, 00:37:05.590 --> 00:37:08.110 or Chrissy Polis in Baltimore. 00:37:08.110 --> 00:37:11.400 That video that went viral when she was attacked in a McDonald's 00:37:11.400 --> 00:37:14.730 by a group of young girls. 00:37:14.730 --> 00:37:18.420 We just came off of five trans women being murdered in 41 days. 00:37:18.420 --> 00:37:21.130 There's a feeling of helplessness and powerlessness. 00:37:21.130 --> 00:37:24.090 It feels like it's sanctioned by the state 00:37:24.090 --> 00:37:26.830 and by our society to just pick us off. 00:37:26.830 --> 00:37:30.570 It's infuriating and maddening that it 00:37:30.570 --> 00:37:35.230 feels like these murders are treated as if they're OK, 00:37:35.230 --> 00:37:38.490 as if we deserve to be victims of violence 00:37:38.490 --> 00:37:40.580 simply for being who we are. 00:37:40.580 --> 00:37:42.485 [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:37:42.485 --> 00:38:06.650 00:38:06.650 --> 00:38:08.870 SPEAKER 6: Crazy, sexy smart, fast, next, dangerous. 00:38:08.870 --> 00:38:10.310 Ish. 00:38:10.310 --> 00:38:11.580 LAVERNE COX: Don't go away. 00:38:11.580 --> 00:38:13.975 The T Word continues right now. 00:38:13.975 --> 00:38:17.030 00:38:17.030 --> 00:38:20.960 We've seen how trans people face widespread discrimination when 00:38:20.960 --> 00:38:22.600 they start living their truth. 00:38:22.600 --> 00:38:25.580 But despite that, this remarkable group of young people 00:38:25.580 --> 00:38:28.070 is rising above the stigma and creating a brighter 00:38:28.070 --> 00:38:29.890 future for themselves. 00:38:29.890 --> 00:38:32.390 ZOEY: So this is an award I received 00:38:32.390 --> 00:38:38.120 from CSW because they saw that I had some leadership in me. 00:38:38.120 --> 00:38:39.600 LAVERNE COX: Zoey just turned 13, 00:38:39.600 --> 00:38:42.660 and she's already become a powerful voice for trans youth. 00:38:42.660 --> 00:38:46.190 She and her mom joined the fight to pass a new law in California 00:38:46.190 --> 00:38:50.300 that now provides greater protection for trans students. 00:38:50.300 --> 00:38:52.640 ZOEY: The law allows students in California 00:38:52.640 --> 00:38:54.840 to use their preferred bathrooms, 00:38:54.840 --> 00:38:58.410 and now I can use the girls' locker room without any hassle. 00:38:58.410 --> 00:38:59.785 So I'm just really excited. 00:38:59.785 --> 00:39:02.233 00:39:02.233 --> 00:39:04.400 LAVERNE COX: Kye retired from competitive basketball 00:39:04.400 --> 00:39:07.760 three years ago, but his unique experiences in college sports 00:39:07.760 --> 00:39:09.060 led to a new passion. 00:39:09.060 --> 00:39:11.060 KYE: I went from being an athlete to an advocate 00:39:11.060 --> 00:39:12.980 like that, traveling and speaking 00:39:12.980 --> 00:39:16.380 to schools about my story, trying 00:39:16.380 --> 00:39:19.120 to create safer spaces for other trans athletes. 00:39:19.120 --> 00:39:20.920 I've had kids come up to me and say, wow, 00:39:20.920 --> 00:39:22.170 I've never met a trans person. 00:39:22.170 --> 00:39:24.003 Like, thank you for just coming to my school 00:39:24.003 --> 00:39:26.080 and just being here and sharing your story. 00:39:26.080 --> 00:39:27.810 And they told me it made a difference. 00:39:27.810 --> 00:39:28.990 That's all I'm trying to do. 00:39:28.990 --> 00:39:31.480 [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:39:31.480 --> 00:39:33.633 00:39:33.633 --> 00:39:35.050 LAVERNE COX: Daniella is committed 00:39:35.050 --> 00:39:38.270 to using her experience to help other trans youth. 00:39:38.270 --> 00:39:41.000 She has recently started an online business 00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:43.930 and finally has a home to call her own. 00:39:43.930 --> 00:39:45.640 DANIELLA: I really do feel blessed. 00:39:45.640 --> 00:39:47.800 This is my safe space. 00:39:47.800 --> 00:39:49.990 I think I beat the odds as a youth. 00:39:49.990 --> 00:39:51.495 That's what my apartment shows me. 00:39:51.495 --> 00:39:55.550 00:39:55.550 --> 00:39:58.220 LAVERNE COX: Ari survived high school and is now on his way 00:39:58.220 --> 00:40:01.190 to college to pursue his dreams of becoming 00:40:01.190 --> 00:40:03.320 a professional recording artist. 00:40:03.320 --> 00:40:08.670 ARI: Being done with high school means that I've overcome a lot. 00:40:08.670 --> 00:40:10.520 I feel really proud of myself. 00:40:10.520 --> 00:40:13.160 I can't wait to get this next chapter started in my life 00:40:13.160 --> 00:40:14.600 and be more independent and learn 00:40:14.600 --> 00:40:15.990 to really take care of myself. 00:40:15.990 --> 00:40:17.730 So I'm really looking forward to that. 00:40:17.730 --> 00:40:20.370 And I'm looking forward, period. 00:40:20.370 --> 00:40:21.575 I can't wait. 00:40:21.575 --> 00:40:23.030 [CHEERING] 00:40:23.030 --> 00:40:24.415 Thank you guys so much. 00:40:24.415 --> 00:40:31.100 00:40:31.100 --> 00:40:32.580 SHANE: Being here today is amazing. 00:40:32.580 --> 00:40:34.610 There are so many beautiful humans here, 00:40:34.610 --> 00:40:36.650 and I'm excited to be a part of it. 00:40:36.650 --> 00:40:38.360 LAVERNE COX: Both L'lerret and Shane 00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:40.375 are graduating from college this year. 00:40:40.375 --> 00:40:43.840 00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:45.910 Avery not only has a new job working 00:40:45.910 --> 00:40:48.850 with a fashion designer-- she has a new man in her life 00:40:48.850 --> 00:40:50.039 as well. 00:40:50.039 --> 00:40:52.484 [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:40:52.484 --> 00:41:00.320 00:41:00.320 --> 00:41:01.760 AVERY: The most important message 00:41:01.760 --> 00:41:04.820 I want for people who aren't in the trans community 00:41:04.820 --> 00:41:06.780 is just that we're normal people. 00:41:06.780 --> 00:41:07.890 We have feelings. 00:41:07.890 --> 00:41:09.118 We do normal things. 00:41:09.118 --> 00:41:11.160 We're just trying to live our lives like you are. 00:41:11.160 --> 00:41:14.000 We're going through the same struggles as you. 00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:16.400 You should probably get to know us. 00:41:16.400 --> 00:41:19.150 [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:41:19.150 --> 00:42:06.000