0:00:00.000,0:00:02.435
[MUSIC PLAYING]

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LAVERNE COX: When a baby is[br]born, one of the first questions

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asked is, is it a[br]boy or is it a girl?

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ZOEY: This is my room.

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Beware of girliness.

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LAVERNE COX: But what[br]if it's not that simple?

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SPEAKER 1: The reality is you[br]were born to me as a female.

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ZOEY: I was 10 when my counselor[br]told me that I was transgender.

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KYE: I was at daycare.

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OK, the boys go over here.

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Girls go over here.

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So I walk over with[br]the boys and they're

0:00:31.220,0:00:33.650
like, no, you're actually[br]supposed to be over here

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with the girls, sweetie.

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Haha.

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That's cute.

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DANIELLA: I've been identifying[br]as female for five years now.

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ARI: All of a sudden,[br]all my friends

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had to stop calling me Ariana[br]and they had to call me Ari.

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LAVERNE COX: In the[br]next hour, you'll

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meet seven brave[br]young men and women

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who will show us what it[br]means to defy expectations.

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KYE: I am the first openly[br]Division I trans athlete.

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LAVERNE COX: To take[br]risk and make changes.

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SHANE: It wasn't[br]just coming out.

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It was, how am I going to[br]do all these medical things?

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And I never had a[br]major surgery before.

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LAVERNE COX: And even endure[br]discrimination and violence.

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DANIELLA: I remember him[br]running after me, and he, like--

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I'm sorry.

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LAVERNE COX: Just to[br]have the same freedom

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to live their[br]lives authentically

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as who they knew they[br]were meant to be.

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I'm Laverne Cox, and[br]this is The T Word.

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For many of us, the T in LGBT[br]means more than transgender.

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It also means truth.

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When someone is trans, it[br]means they identify differently

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from the gender they were[br]assigned at birth based

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on genitalia.

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Gender isn't black and white.

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Even Facebook[br]recently added over

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50 choices for people to[br]identify their own gender,

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from transsexual to[br]cisgender and gender fluid,

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so it can be kind of confusing[br]for some people to understand.

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But the most important thing[br]to know about how individuals

0:01:59.200,0:02:01.630
identify their gender[br]is that it's not

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about what's in their pants.

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It's about what's in[br]their hearts and minds.

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KYE: When I was five years[br]old, I knew that I was a boy.

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I didn't question it.

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That's just what it was.

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AVERY: When I was,[br]like, 15, I realized

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that I was so depressed[br]wearing clothes

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that people expected[br]me to wear and how

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to look and act certain ways.

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SHANE: I started exploring[br]my gender identity

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when I was about 14.

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That whole period of time for[br]me, I was just very depressed.

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I hated myself because[br]I felt inherently wrong.

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LAVERNE COX: People[br]transition at different points

0:02:38.060,0:02:39.060
in their lives.

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But many trans people,[br]like 18-year-old Ari,

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report knowing their true[br]identity from early childhood.

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ARI: Hey, guys.

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I'm Ari.

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Welcome to my house.

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Come on in.

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I'm from New York City.

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I'm 18 years old,[br]and I love music.

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This guitar I just[br]got for my birthday.

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It's a beautiful instrument.

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Thanks, mom and dad.

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This is an ASCAP[br]award, and I won it

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for my songwriting and stuff.

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I've been playing music[br]and singing and songwriting

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since I was about three.

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I want to make it my career,[br]and I love it so much.

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SPEAKER 2: I'm[br]looking for Ariana.

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Where's she?

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There she is.

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ARI: I knew I was a boy[br]since I was really little.

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Since I could dress myself.

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I'd always dress up[br]in, like, boy outfits

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and I only had guy[br]friends, and we all

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used to scream at the[br]girls and tease the girls.

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There was something about[br]me that just never connected

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with a female.

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SPEAKER 3: Here's[br]my little pumpkin.

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SPEAKER 2: I have cheese--

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these things.

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ARI: Do you have any[br]peaches or anything?

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SPEAKER 2: Trail mix.

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ARI: You have peaches?

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SPEAKER 2: No.

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ARI: I was just really[br]confused all the time.

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Like in middle school, it was[br]especially difficult because I

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hit the wrong puberty[br]and got a menstrual cycle

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and started growing[br]little things up top.

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Nothing any boy wants[br]to have at 13 years old.

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I wanted to be a teenage[br]boy and I couldn't.

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One night I talked to[br]my dad and he was like,

0:04:10.970,0:04:12.210
you don't sound happy.

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So I told my dad I[br]hate being a girl.

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That night, he did a[br]little research into it

0:04:18.110,0:04:20.850
and he told me, like,[br]you're transgender.

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And I was like, oh, yes,[br]there's a word for me.

0:04:24.120,0:04:24.810
Yes.

0:04:24.810,0:04:25.638
Thank God.

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LAVERNE COX: Ari was[br]excited about finding a word

0:04:27.680,0:04:29.520
to describe his truth.

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But there are some terms[br]that these young trans

0:04:32.090,0:04:34.015
people don't want to hear.

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AVERY: Some of[br]the words that are

0:04:35.390,0:04:38.020
offensive to me are[br]tranny, shemale,

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and just a flat out[br]man really hurts.

0:04:40.260,0:04:41.470
ZOEY: The word tranny.

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It's very offensive to us.

0:04:43.520,0:04:46.000
It's like calling a[br]gay person the F word.

0:04:46.000,0:04:48.210
KYE: Girlboy, he/she.

0:04:48.210,0:04:49.680
Transgendered.

0:04:49.680,0:04:51.550
If you're saying[br]I'm transgendered,

0:04:51.550,0:04:53.795
it's like something[br]happened for me to be trans.

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It's like saying[br]you've been blackened.

0:04:55.420,0:04:57.780
Like, what happened[br]for you to be Black?

0:04:57.780,0:05:01.350
SHANE: Any sort of language[br]that is not gendered male

0:05:01.350,0:05:02.890
is not correct for me.

0:05:02.890,0:05:05.280
But the one that[br]gets to me the most

0:05:05.280,0:05:10.690
is when people refer[br]to trans people as it.

0:05:10.690,0:05:13.570
LAVERNE COX: 12-year-old Zoey[br]has been experiencing this kind

0:05:13.570,0:05:16.700
of name calling from as[br]early as she can remember,

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but no amount of harassment can[br]stop her from living proudly

0:05:20.620,0:05:22.910
as the girl she[br]knows herself to be.

0:05:22.910,0:05:25.330
ZOEY: I'm from the[br]Los Angeles area.

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I have one brother and I have[br]one sister, and I have a mom.

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She's a single parent.

0:05:31.000,0:05:34.760
And my dad has recently passed,[br]but everything's still good.

0:05:34.760,0:05:36.880
I still cope with it very well.

0:05:36.880,0:05:38.180
So this is my room.

0:05:38.180,0:05:39.580
Beware of girliness.

0:05:39.580,0:05:41.900
I mean, it just has[br]so much girliness.

0:05:41.900,0:05:42.950
I love dancing.

0:05:42.950,0:05:44.120
I love performing arts.

0:05:44.120,0:05:46.520
I love acting, and[br]I love drawing.

0:05:46.520,0:05:49.630
This is Dorothy from[br]The Wizard of Oz.

0:05:49.630,0:05:53.290
When I was two, I first started[br]feeling like I had a burden.

0:05:53.290,0:05:55.480
When I was little,[br]I always thought

0:05:55.480,0:05:58.300
that boys and girls[br]had the same genitalia

0:05:58.300,0:06:01.430
and that we all had[br]the same body parts,

0:06:01.430,0:06:04.100
so I just thought, oh, they're[br]confusing me for a boy.

0:06:04.100,0:06:07.450
Then I found out that they[br]actually have separate body

0:06:07.450,0:06:11.430
parts, and I felt very anxious[br]because I was wondering,

0:06:11.430,0:06:14.720
why do I have to live as[br]a boy when I really feel

0:06:14.720,0:06:17.000
that I'm a girl in the inside?

0:06:17.000,0:06:19.555
And I was just very[br]sad and depressed.

0:06:19.555,0:06:21.180
OFELIA: You have to[br]get ready for camp.

0:06:21.180,0:06:23.510
You have to start getting[br]your stuff together.

0:06:23.510,0:06:26.160
When she started[br]walking and talking,

0:06:26.160,0:06:30.860
she would generally gravitate[br]to playing princess.

0:06:30.860,0:06:32.640
She would wear my shoes.

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So I kind of understood that[br]there was something different.

0:06:35.312,0:06:36.770
ZOEY: Oh, and we[br]got to go pick out

0:06:36.770,0:06:38.350
something for the formal dance.

0:06:38.350,0:06:40.820
My friend Nikki, she wore[br]this really pretty, like,

0:06:40.820,0:06:43.770
out there Cinderella[br]dress, and I was like,

0:06:43.770,0:06:45.360
I'm going to top you next year.

0:06:45.360,0:06:48.530
When I was two, I remembered[br]that my mom just got me out

0:06:48.530,0:06:51.300
of the shower and[br]she was drying me.

0:06:51.300,0:06:54.500
And I remember crying and[br]saying, I know in my heart

0:06:54.500,0:06:55.380
that I'm a girl.

0:06:55.380,0:06:57.930
And it was just really[br]confusing for her

0:06:57.930,0:06:59.480
and she didn't know what to do.

0:06:59.480,0:07:02.180
OFELIA: When I started[br]googling more information

0:07:02.180,0:07:05.810
about transgender people, most[br]of the information that I found

0:07:05.810,0:07:06.990
was negative.

0:07:06.990,0:07:08.820
Horrible words were used.

0:07:08.820,0:07:10.050
Abomination.

0:07:10.050,0:07:12.410
And I was like,[br]that's not my kid.

0:07:12.410,0:07:14.040
She's gorgeous.

0:07:14.040,0:07:16.920
LAVERNE COX: For Zoey,[br]Ari, and countless others,

0:07:16.920,0:07:19.250
deciding to transition[br]to a different gender

0:07:19.250,0:07:21.450
can be powerfully liberating.

0:07:21.450,0:07:24.080
But having to explain your[br]new identity and appearance

0:07:24.080,0:07:27.620
to everyone else can be[br]incredibly difficult.

0:07:27.620,0:07:29.720
Coming up on The T Word.

0:07:29.720,0:07:31.820
SPEAKER 1: I see[br]you as the child

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that I gave birth to,[br]which is a female.

0:07:34.230,0:07:35.400
LAVERNE COX: And later.

0:07:35.400,0:07:38.390
ARI: I've had so many[br]opportunities to have sex

0:07:38.390,0:07:41.627
and I haven't been[br]able to ever have it.

0:07:41.627,0:07:44.110
[MUSIC PLAYING]

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LAVERNE COX: Some[br]trans people feel

0:07:45.930,0:07:48.960
it's not necessary to undergo[br]medical transition, which

0:07:48.960,0:07:51.820
could include hormones[br]and/or surgeries.

0:07:51.820,0:07:53.700
But others choose[br]to make changes

0:07:53.700,0:07:58.330
on the outside that align with[br]how they feel on the inside.

0:07:58.330,0:08:01.810
SHANE: I guess first thing[br]was I picked my name, Shane,

0:08:01.810,0:08:05.740
and I started asking my close[br]friends to call me Shane.

0:08:05.740,0:08:07.090
I would be Shane out in public.

0:08:07.090,0:08:10.055
I felt so happy and so[br]confident and so fulfilled.

0:08:10.055,0:08:11.680
DANIELLA: I didn't[br]know if I was trans.

0:08:11.680,0:08:12.680
I didn't know who I was.

0:08:12.680,0:08:14.980
But I knew that when I[br]walked outside in a skirt,

0:08:14.980,0:08:16.407
I felt happy.

0:08:16.407,0:08:18.490
ZOEY: I transitioned in[br]front of everybody's eyes.

0:08:18.490,0:08:20.250
I came in hot pink[br]and I walked out

0:08:20.250,0:08:23.195
the bus and everybody was[br]like, whoa, that makes sense.

0:08:23.195,0:08:24.570
LAVERNE COX:[br]Transitioning can be

0:08:24.570,0:08:27.040
both exciting and challenging.

0:08:27.040,0:08:28.770
One of the biggest[br]hurdles can be

0:08:28.770,0:08:33.510
the time it takes friends and[br]family to accept the change.

0:08:33.510,0:08:36.960
So imagine how hard it must[br]be to experience all of that

0:08:36.960,0:08:38.820
under a national spotlight.

0:08:38.820,0:08:44.980
KYE: I am the first openly[br]Division I trans athlete.

0:08:44.980,0:08:46.000
There we go.

0:08:46.000,0:08:47.680
My action shot for today.

0:08:47.680,0:08:50.410
LAVERNE COX: In 2011, while[br]playing on the women's

0:08:50.410,0:08:53.510
basketball team at George[br]Washington University,

0:08:53.510,0:08:56.530
Kye was featured in a piece[br]for the website Outsports

0:08:56.530,0:08:58.550
announcing he was trans male.

0:08:58.550,0:09:01.690
The story caught fire and[br]made national headlines.

0:09:01.690,0:09:05.470
SPEAKER 4: Why come forward now[br]rather than play out your career

0:09:05.470,0:09:07.320
and then do everything?

0:09:07.320,0:09:11.650
KYE: I mean, that's what[br]my plan was, and then it

0:09:11.650,0:09:13.220
just-- it got too tough.

0:09:13.220,0:09:17.680
It got too tough to not be[br]me and to hear people call me

0:09:17.680,0:09:20.770
a girl, say she, or just refer[br]to me as something that I knew I

0:09:20.770,0:09:21.580
wasn't.

0:09:21.580,0:09:23.290
LAVERNE COX: Kye's[br]coaches and teammates

0:09:23.290,0:09:25.450
were quick to offer[br]support, but he

0:09:25.450,0:09:27.880
found himself faced with[br]a barrage of questions

0:09:27.880,0:09:30.730
from the media that made[br]focusing on basketball

0:09:30.730,0:09:31.840
difficult.

0:09:31.840,0:09:34.120
KYE: I went from[br]doing a post game

0:09:34.120,0:09:36.640
interview about the[br]game of, oh, hey, Kye,

0:09:36.640,0:09:38.210
so what did you[br]think about this?

0:09:38.210,0:09:39.790
How was that pass?

0:09:39.790,0:09:43.375
Things about sports, to, so are[br]you attracted to your teammates?

0:09:43.375,0:09:44.750
Are you going to[br]get the surgery?

0:09:44.750,0:09:45.860
Do you have a penis?

0:09:45.860,0:09:47.563
Like, what?

0:09:47.563,0:09:49.730
How many sports do people[br]play with their genitalia?

0:09:49.730,0:09:51.140
I don't understand.

0:09:51.140,0:09:54.080
How many jump shots has LeBron[br]James made with his penis?

0:09:54.080,0:09:55.420
I don't know.

0:09:55.420,0:09:56.512
I don't think any, right?

0:09:56.512,0:09:58.720
So why are you asking me[br]that as if that has anything

0:09:58.720,0:10:00.770
to do with my athletic ability?

0:10:00.770,0:10:02.970
It doesn't.

0:10:02.970,0:10:04.360
I was extremely overwhelmed.

0:10:04.360,0:10:06.960
It was a lot, having[br]everybody pay attention

0:10:06.960,0:10:10.650
to me just because I want to[br]change my name and my pronouns.

0:10:10.650,0:10:12.450
All I wanted was for[br]people to just focus

0:10:12.450,0:10:15.235
on my athletic ability.

0:10:15.235,0:10:17.610
And maybe the fact that I[br]needed to work on my 3-pointers

0:10:17.610,0:10:19.488
a little bit more.

0:10:19.488,0:10:21.280
LAVERNE COX: While[br]transitioning in college

0:10:21.280,0:10:23.800
was complicated[br]for Kye, coming out

0:10:23.800,0:10:26.140
as trans in elementary[br]school presented

0:10:26.140,0:10:29.860
its own set of unique challenges[br]for Zoey and her family.

0:10:29.860,0:10:30.610
OFELIA: Oh, drama?

0:10:30.610,0:10:31.750
ZOEY: I'm going into--

0:10:31.750,0:10:34.480
I might be going[br]to the mad dramas.

0:10:34.480,0:10:37.450
After I transitioned,[br]I had a lot of problems

0:10:37.450,0:10:38.420
with the school board.

0:10:38.420,0:10:40.310
They would always[br]give me a hard time.

0:10:40.310,0:10:44.530
The students bullied me as well,[br]but they didn't bully me as hard

0:10:44.530,0:10:46.370
as the administrators did.

0:10:46.370,0:10:48.050
They said, stay away from her.

0:10:48.050,0:10:49.370
She's a really bad kid.

0:10:49.370,0:10:50.710
She's like the Antichrist.

0:10:50.710,0:10:52.480
Yeah, it was really hard.

0:10:52.480,0:10:55.480
Next year, for sure,[br]I'm doing a talent show.

0:10:55.480,0:10:56.230
OFELIA: Good.

0:10:56.230,0:10:57.880
Finally.

0:10:57.880,0:11:00.370
A lot of people gave[br]me a really hard time

0:11:00.370,0:11:02.030
and they asked me to stop.

0:11:02.030,0:11:04.210
They asked me not[br]to encourage it.

0:11:04.210,0:11:06.280
It wasn't up to them.

0:11:06.280,0:11:08.140
If you see that[br]your child is happy

0:11:08.140,0:11:10.670
and they're living[br]a regular life,

0:11:10.670,0:11:13.510
why would you even want to[br]change it just so they could

0:11:13.510,0:11:17.230
fit into someone else's style?

0:11:17.230,0:11:20.430
ZOEY: I had other people come[br]and tell me, oh, you're a sin.

0:11:20.430,0:11:24.360
You deserve to live in hell and[br]you're going to burn someday.

0:11:24.360,0:11:26.450
And I was like, OK,[br]I'll see you there too.

0:11:26.450,0:11:29.330
OFELIA: I remember sitting[br]there in the whole crowd

0:11:29.330,0:11:32.790
and being so afraid of how[br]they were looking at her.

0:11:32.790,0:11:34.430
But she does great.

0:11:34.430,0:11:36.830
She's not afraid, and[br]that's the good thing.

0:11:36.830,0:11:42.210
I fought a lot with everybody[br]to let her buy her Barbies,

0:11:42.210,0:11:44.510
let her play with her toys.

0:11:44.510,0:11:46.940
Just leave my kid alone.

0:11:46.940,0:11:49.200
ZOEY: If my mom had[br]not been supportive,

0:11:49.200,0:11:50.720
I wouldn't be here today.

0:11:50.720,0:11:54.365
I would probably be a suicide.

0:11:54.365,0:11:56.250
OFELIA: You're just[br]a little kid still.

0:11:56.250,0:12:00.650
The more you grow, the stronger[br]you're going to become.

0:12:00.650,0:12:02.390
LAVERNE COX: Family[br]support is crucial.

0:12:02.390,0:12:05.030
A staggering 41% of[br]transgender people

0:12:05.030,0:12:07.470
have attempted suicide[br]in their lifetime.

0:12:07.470,0:12:09.990
That's nine times[br]the national average.

0:12:09.990,0:12:11.930
But the rate is[br]lower for those who

0:12:11.930,0:12:15.460
maintain a positive relationship[br]with family after coming out.

0:12:15.460,0:12:18.550


0:12:18.550,0:12:19.845
KYE: I can't hear you, Mom.

0:12:19.845,0:12:20.970
SPEAKER 1: Can you hear me.

0:12:20.970,0:12:22.840
KYE: Yeah, I hear you.

0:12:22.840,0:12:25.360
In terms of who's on[br]board with me being trans,

0:12:25.360,0:12:26.720
my siblings are great.

0:12:26.720,0:12:28.910
They call me their brother.

0:12:28.910,0:12:30.590
My mom is just-- she's--

0:12:30.590,0:12:31.930
I'm her oldest.

0:12:31.930,0:12:35.770
If you ask her, I mean, she'll[br]say that I'm her daughter.

0:12:35.770,0:12:36.320
Hi, mom.

0:12:36.320,0:12:37.540
SPEAKER 1: How is New York?

0:12:37.540,0:12:39.100
KYE: It's busy.

0:12:39.100,0:12:39.680
It's fun.

0:12:39.680,0:12:40.250
It's cool.

0:12:40.250,0:12:43.880
I went to Philly Trans Health[br]Conference this past weekend.

0:12:43.880,0:12:47.020
I talked to a trans kid[br]and he was asking me

0:12:47.020,0:12:52.240
about how to talk to his[br]parents about pronouns

0:12:52.240,0:12:53.843
because they won't switch.

0:12:53.843,0:12:55.760
SPEAKER 1: What do you[br]mean they won't switch?

0:12:55.760,0:12:57.860
KYE: Like, they won't[br]say, this is my son or he.

0:12:57.860,0:12:59.590
They just-- they do what you do.

0:12:59.590,0:13:01.822
They'll just play the[br]pronoun, like, game and just--

0:13:01.822,0:13:03.280
SPEAKER 1: I don't[br]say that either.

0:13:03.280,0:13:04.850
KYE: You don't say anything.

0:13:04.850,0:13:05.840
That's not better.

0:13:05.840,0:13:07.810
That's worse, I feel.

0:13:07.810,0:13:11.590
After I told my[br]team, I told my mom.

0:13:11.590,0:13:14.060
Being raised a Jehovah's[br]Witness, it was difficult.

0:13:14.060,0:13:16.360
It was difficult for[br]me, difficult for my mom

0:13:16.360,0:13:17.660
to process that.

0:13:17.660,0:13:19.940
And it tore us apart.

0:13:19.940,0:13:23.580
She just kept saying[br]it was a phase.

0:13:23.580,0:13:24.600
This is a phase.

0:13:24.600,0:13:25.920
It's not right.

0:13:25.920,0:13:29.178
The Bible says this,[br]the Bible says that.

0:13:29.178,0:13:31.220
SPEAKER 1: What I want[br]you to understand is this.

0:13:31.220,0:13:32.640
I gave birth to you.

0:13:32.640,0:13:35.100
I breastfed you for a year.

0:13:35.100,0:13:39.830
And it's very difficult[br]to just wake up one day

0:13:39.830,0:13:42.690
and go, OK, this is Kye.

0:13:42.690,0:13:45.720
And you know it took me two[br]years to just call you Kye,

0:13:45.720,0:13:49.130
and I still will not call[br]you a different gender

0:13:49.130,0:13:53.390
because I see you as the[br]child that I gave birth

0:13:53.390,0:13:55.880
to which is a female.

0:13:55.880,0:13:59.820
KYE: When my mom will give[br]my siblings pronouns--

0:13:59.820,0:14:02.970
so like my little brother,[br]this is her son, or my sister,

0:14:02.970,0:14:04.220
this is her daughter.

0:14:04.220,0:14:06.720
And then, this is Kye.

0:14:06.720,0:14:09.920
That is the most hurtful[br]to me because it makes

0:14:09.920,0:14:11.180
me feel like I'm not a human.

0:14:11.180,0:14:12.720
SPEAKER 1: An[br]orange is an orange.

0:14:12.720,0:14:14.000
You can't make it an apple.

0:14:14.000,0:14:16.560
You were born in a female body.

0:14:16.560,0:14:18.660
KYE: Yes, I was born[br]with a female body.

0:14:18.660,0:14:19.460
Yes, I have.

0:14:19.460,0:14:20.462
Yes, we know.

0:14:20.462,0:14:21.420
But that's just a body.

0:14:21.420,0:14:21.870
Mom.

0:14:21.870,0:14:22.370
Mom.

0:14:22.370,0:14:24.832
But that's just a bod--

0:14:24.832,0:14:26.540
SPEAKER 1: Why would[br]you want to do that?

0:14:26.540,0:14:29.100
Just answer that for me.

0:14:29.100,0:14:30.810
KYE: Because being[br]in that old body,

0:14:30.810,0:14:32.600
I literally-- being[br]in that old body

0:14:32.600,0:14:36.610
made me feel like I didn't[br]want to be alive anymore.

0:14:36.610,0:14:37.790
It didn't feel comfortable.

0:14:37.790,0:14:39.080
I couldn't even[br]focus on basketball.

0:14:39.080,0:14:39.980
I couldn't focus on school.

0:14:39.980,0:14:41.630
I couldn't focus[br]on doing anything.

0:14:41.630,0:14:43.040
And until now.

0:14:43.040,0:14:43.970
Now I finally see me.

0:14:43.970,0:14:47.060
I feel comfortable and I can[br]actually focus on my life.

0:14:47.060,0:14:48.770
But before that, that wasn't me.

0:14:48.770,0:14:51.020
SPEAKER 1: That's wonderful[br]that you feel comfortable,

0:14:51.020,0:14:53.270
and I'm glad you feel[br]in tune with yourself.

0:14:53.270,0:14:56.390
I would not love you any[br]different than what you decide.

0:14:56.390,0:15:02.450
But my reality is that you[br]were born to me as a female.

0:15:02.450,0:15:04.526
[MUSIC PLAYING]

0:15:04.526,0:15:06.590


0:15:06.590,0:15:09.970
KYE: Would I love for my mom to[br]say it or to say, he and his?

0:15:09.970,0:15:10.780
Yes.

0:15:10.780,0:15:14.950
At the end of the day, my[br]relationship with her supersedes

0:15:14.950,0:15:15.880
pronouns.

0:15:15.880,0:15:17.380
But the fact that[br]she's not on board

0:15:17.380,0:15:22.390
means that I can[br]only handle so much.

0:15:22.390,0:15:22.890
Yeah.

0:15:22.890,0:15:24.010
I got to go.

0:15:24.010,0:15:24.760
SPEAKER 1: OK.

0:15:24.760,0:15:27.675
Well, I love you and be safe.

0:15:27.675,0:15:28.300
KYE: All right.

0:15:28.300,0:15:29.650
Love you, too.

0:15:29.650,0:15:31.910
I'll talk to you tomorrow.

0:15:31.910,0:15:34.533
(SINGING) But we're[br]going to be OK.

0:15:34.533,0:15:40.000


0:15:40.000,0:15:42.065
LAVERNE COX: Coming[br]up on The T Word.

0:15:42.065,0:15:43.690
ARI: I've never been[br]comfortable enough

0:15:43.690,0:15:46.330
with myself to let[br]a girl touch me.

0:15:46.330,0:15:48.070
SHANE: My mother said[br]straight women will

0:15:48.070,0:15:50.010
want to date a man[br]and lesbians are

0:15:50.010,0:15:51.260
going to want to date a woman.

0:15:51.260,0:15:52.755
So who's going to[br]want to date you?

0:15:52.755,0:15:56.030


0:15:56.030,0:15:58.370
LAVERNE COX: Building[br]friendships and finding romance

0:15:58.370,0:16:00.210
is rarely easy[br]when you're young.

0:16:00.210,0:16:03.710
But growing up trans can add[br]another layer of complication

0:16:03.710,0:16:06.175
to all of these[br]rites of passage.

0:16:06.175,0:16:07.550
ZOEY: If I was[br]walking by a crowd

0:16:07.550,0:16:09.180
in a school I was[br]supposed to go to,

0:16:09.180,0:16:11.300
they'd be like,[br]OH, hey, gay boy.

0:16:11.300,0:16:14.780
So I decided that it's[br]best for me to move schools

0:16:14.780,0:16:16.290
so I could find friends.

0:16:16.290,0:16:18.630
DANIELLA: As a trans woman,[br]I've lost a lot of friends.

0:16:18.630,0:16:21.938
My life consists of Daniella,[br]home, but that's it.

0:16:21.938,0:16:23.730
AVERY: I think that[br]friends are everything,

0:16:23.730,0:16:26.570
and having supportive people[br]around you is really important.

0:16:26.570,0:16:29.570
Just one person that you[br]can confide in and get

0:16:29.570,0:16:32.990
some sort of validation of[br]being a normal human being

0:16:32.990,0:16:34.930
could mean everything[br]to somebody.

0:16:34.930,0:16:37.230
[MUSIC PLAYING]

0:16:37.230,0:16:39.540


0:16:39.540,0:16:40.668
ARI: What's good, dude?

0:16:40.668,0:16:41.710
SIMONE: How are you, man?

0:16:41.710,0:16:43.650
LAVERNE COX: For Ari,[br]the social complications

0:16:43.650,0:16:46.830
started when he revealed that[br]he was trans to his classmates

0:16:46.830,0:16:48.030
in ninth grade.

0:16:48.030,0:16:50.430
ARI: I came out before high[br]school when I was about 14

0:16:50.430,0:16:53.740
as Ari, and that was really[br]the beginning of my journey.

0:16:53.740,0:16:59.560
I started really allowing myself[br]to feel like a boy in public.

0:16:59.560,0:17:01.290
SIMONE: Can we go?

0:17:01.290,0:17:02.800
ARI: Yes.

0:17:02.800,0:17:06.339
My high school was not[br]the greatest place.

0:17:06.339,0:17:09.310
My first year there,[br]I got bullied a lot.

0:17:09.310,0:17:12.515
There was just a group of guys[br]that just really didn't like me.

0:17:12.515,0:17:14.140
They went to the head[br]of my high school

0:17:14.140,0:17:16.432
and said that they weren't[br]comfortable with me changing

0:17:16.432,0:17:17.800
in the boys locker room.

0:17:17.800,0:17:20.380
One of them mentioned[br]that I watched them

0:17:20.380,0:17:22.760
pee, which is just ridiculous.

0:17:22.760,0:17:25.720
Like, nobody[br]watches anybody pee.

0:17:25.720,0:17:27.190
You've never seen Clueless?

0:17:27.190,0:17:28.690
Dude.

0:17:28.690,0:17:31.780
It's kind of a chick[br]flick, but it's so funny.

0:17:31.780,0:17:34.640
It was a really rough[br]place to transition.

0:17:34.640,0:17:36.800
I ended up not really[br]making it there.

0:17:36.800,0:17:38.080
I left.

0:17:38.080,0:17:39.640
Do you want to sit here?

0:17:39.640,0:17:40.210
SIMONE: Sure.

0:17:40.210,0:17:40.840
ARI: OK.

0:17:40.840,0:17:43.970
I started testosterone my[br]sophomore year in high school,

0:17:43.970,0:17:47.020
and that was one of the most[br]exciting points in my life

0:17:47.020,0:17:50.510
because I started a new high[br]school, new people, fresh start,

0:17:50.510,0:17:52.810
and my voice was low.

0:17:52.810,0:17:55.030
From that point[br]on, my transition

0:17:55.030,0:18:00.820
became more of a life[br]for Ari as a young guy.

0:18:00.820,0:18:03.260
LAVERNE COX: Even though Ari[br]has had several girlfriends

0:18:03.260,0:18:05.540
in recent years,[br]he still struggles

0:18:05.540,0:18:09.240
with how to express[br]his sexuality.

0:18:09.240,0:18:10.550
SIMONE: What happened?

0:18:10.550,0:18:12.590
ARI: This is how I[br]get changed by myself.

0:18:12.590,0:18:14.160
Dating and my sex life.

0:18:14.160,0:18:18.720
It's a rough thing, especially[br]because, at least for me,

0:18:18.720,0:18:23.450
sex is something that's always[br]been really scary to me.

0:18:23.450,0:18:25.190
If I get with a[br]girl, what if she

0:18:25.190,0:18:27.645
tries to put her hand in my[br]pants and then freaks out?

0:18:27.645,0:18:30.020
Because that's happened to me[br]before and it really sucks.

0:18:30.020,0:18:31.728
SIMONE: Who are you[br]excited about seeing?

0:18:31.728,0:18:32.430
Anyone specific?

0:18:32.430,0:18:33.680
ARI: I mean, everybody.

0:18:33.680,0:18:37.243
Definitely super ultra[br]mega excited for Rachel

0:18:37.243,0:18:37.910
to come, though.

0:18:37.910,0:18:41.390
Today is my 18th birthday, and[br]I'm going to be having a bunch

0:18:41.390,0:18:44.770
of my really close friends over[br]for a decent size little party.

0:18:44.770,0:18:48.030


0:18:48.030,0:18:50.530
Aw, you bought me a cake.

0:18:50.530,0:18:53.080
I'm warning all of you,[br]Mobley might hump you.

0:18:53.080,0:18:53.710
No, no.

0:18:53.710,0:18:55.280
He will hump you.

0:18:55.280,0:18:57.240
Hey, get out of my house.

0:18:57.240,0:18:59.280
RACHEL: Happy birthday, you.

0:18:59.280,0:19:00.780
ARI: Thank you so much.

0:19:00.780,0:19:03.750
I've had so many[br]opportunities to have sex

0:19:03.750,0:19:07.590
and I haven't been[br]able to ever have it.

0:19:07.590,0:19:10.140
Welcome, welcome.

0:19:10.140,0:19:12.030
Even with a[br]girlfriend, I've never

0:19:12.030,0:19:17.032
been comfortable enough with[br]myself to let a girl touch me.

0:19:17.032,0:19:19.342
[CHEERING]

0:19:19.342,0:19:22.120


0:19:22.120,0:19:24.490
Thank you, guys.

0:19:24.490,0:19:28.120
The relationship relies[br]on everything but sex.

0:19:28.120,0:19:29.360
Now I gots to make a wish.

0:19:29.360,0:19:32.800
And it can't be the wish[br]that I told certain people.

0:19:32.800,0:19:36.760
Being trans and dating can[br]be really tricky and a really

0:19:36.760,0:19:40.420
emotional thing, and you have to[br]really find someone who's safe

0:19:40.420,0:19:42.700
and who is really,[br]really supportive

0:19:42.700,0:19:47.050
and proves to you that[br]they're supportive.

0:19:47.050,0:19:48.880
LAVERNE COX: Dating[br]and sex can definitely

0:19:48.880,0:19:52.690
be harder for some trans[br]people to navigate.

0:19:52.690,0:19:54.760
SPEAKER 5: Let's[br]go back and graph

0:19:54.760,0:19:56.850
some more of these equations.

0:19:56.850,0:19:59.120
LAVERNE COX: But Shane[br]from Baltimore, Maryland,

0:19:59.120,0:20:03.776
is living proof that true love[br]can transcend gender boundaries.

0:20:03.776,0:20:07.180


0:20:07.180,0:20:10.180
SHANE: When I came out[br]as trans, relationships

0:20:10.180,0:20:14.120
were a very complicated thing[br]for me because I really--

0:20:14.120,0:20:17.410
like my mother said,[br]who is going to love me?

0:20:17.410,0:20:19.900
She was worried as a[br]mother that I wouldn't

0:20:19.900,0:20:22.370
be able to find a partner to[br]share my life with because she

0:20:22.370,0:20:26.110
said, straight women will want[br]to date a man and lesbians are

0:20:26.110,0:20:27.360
going to want to date a woman.

0:20:27.360,0:20:30.230
So who is going to[br]want to date you?

0:20:30.230,0:20:34.010
So I had this little,[br]like, Amish boy haircut.

0:20:34.010,0:20:35.820
I hated having long hair.

0:20:35.820,0:20:38.700
And every time that[br]I did have long hair,

0:20:38.700,0:20:40.500
I just threw it[br]up in a ponytail.

0:20:40.500,0:20:42.720
And I believed it[br]for a long time.

0:20:42.720,0:20:45.930
I didn't think that[br]anyone would love me.

0:20:45.930,0:20:47.960
I played baseball for a while.

0:20:47.960,0:20:49.730
And I thought that[br]it would always

0:20:49.730,0:20:51.860
have to be the baggage[br]that I brought along

0:20:51.860,0:20:54.240
into whatever relationship[br]that I was bringing.

0:20:54.240,0:20:55.380
Hey, I'm trans.

0:20:55.380,0:20:56.423
I hope that that's OK.

0:20:56.423,0:20:59.390


0:20:59.390,0:21:00.830
JESS: Trying to spice it up?

0:21:00.830,0:21:02.660
ARI: You're always[br]spicing it up.

0:21:02.660,0:21:06.975
I didn't think that anyone would[br]love me or be able to love me.

0:21:06.975,0:21:08.600
JESS: I can't believe[br]it's been a year.

0:21:08.600,0:21:11.330
I mean, I can believe, but I[br]can't believe it's been a year.

0:21:11.330,0:21:12.340
SHANE: Until Jess.

0:21:12.340,0:21:14.980


0:21:14.980,0:21:18.550
We met through a mutual friend,[br]and then one day our friends

0:21:18.550,0:21:20.620
had gone out and[br]we were left alone,

0:21:20.620,0:21:22.680
and we started[br]talking about life.

0:21:22.680,0:21:26.440
I'd never heard another[br]human vocalize the thoughts

0:21:26.440,0:21:29.330
in my head so articulately.

0:21:29.330,0:21:31.278
And from that point[br]on, I was like,

0:21:31.278,0:21:32.820
she's going to be[br]in my life somehow.

0:21:32.820,0:21:37.080


0:21:37.080,0:21:38.190
Come on.

0:21:38.190,0:21:39.630
JESS: Don't pull me in.

0:21:39.630,0:21:41.820
I don't trust you.

0:21:41.820,0:21:44.190
That's why I don't trust you.

0:21:44.190,0:21:47.010
I did not know anything[br]about trans people

0:21:47.010,0:21:50.640
or the trans community[br]prior to dating Shane.

0:21:50.640,0:21:51.840
[CHATTER]

0:21:51.840,0:21:52.920


0:21:52.920,0:21:56.880
The first time we were intimate,[br]we were taking a shower

0:21:56.880,0:22:00.420
together, and he said, I know[br]you haven't seen any other trans

0:22:00.420,0:22:02.340
people naked, and[br]I just didn't want

0:22:02.340,0:22:04.690
to get naked and throw you off.

0:22:04.690,0:22:07.630
I say, Shane,[br]you're not an alien.

0:22:07.630,0:22:10.300
You're going to have parts[br]that I'm familiar with,

0:22:10.300,0:22:11.120
and that's fine.

0:22:11.120,0:22:13.950


0:22:13.950,0:22:15.290
I'm kind of treading water.

0:22:15.290,0:22:17.040
SHANE: I know.

0:22:17.040,0:22:20.700
I avoided pools for so[br]long, I forgot how to swim.

0:22:20.700,0:22:21.540
JESS: I can imagine.

0:22:21.540,0:22:23.550
SHANE: No, it's a real thing.

0:22:23.550,0:22:26.850
I knew from literally the[br]first time I kissed her

0:22:26.850,0:22:28.660
that I wanted to marry her.

0:22:28.660,0:22:31.840
Within the week of kissing,[br]we were officially dating,

0:22:31.840,0:22:34.770
and within six weeks, we[br]had moved in together.

0:22:34.770,0:22:39.970
She is what I largely attribute[br]to how successful I am,

0:22:39.970,0:22:42.740
because she shows me[br]support, unconditional love,

0:22:42.740,0:22:44.810
and makes me feel like[br]I can do anything.

0:22:44.810,0:22:46.900
And it's amazing.

0:22:46.900,0:22:49.305
[MUSIC PLAYING]

0:22:49.305,0:22:57.970


0:22:57.970,0:23:00.310
LAVERNE COX: Coming[br]up on The T Word.

0:23:00.310,0:23:03.020
AVERY: I wrote, hey, I have to[br]tell you something important.

0:23:03.020,0:23:04.840
LAVERNE COX: Avery[br]reveals the complexities

0:23:04.840,0:23:07.480
of dating as a trans[br]woman and the danger

0:23:07.480,0:23:09.920
she faces just[br]for being herself.

0:23:09.920,0:23:11.960
AVERY: I don't like[br]to disclose in person.

0:23:11.960,0:23:14.440
It's a very real[br]possibility that we

0:23:14.440,0:23:16.040
can be harmed physically.

0:23:16.040,0:23:19.810


0:23:19.810,0:23:22.270
LAVERNE COX: For most people,[br]being perceived as the gender

0:23:22.270,0:23:25.660
we identify as goes a[br]long way towards making

0:23:25.660,0:23:28.540
our daily lives less stressful.

0:23:28.540,0:23:31.540
SHANE: I have what I call[br]passing privilege, which

0:23:31.540,0:23:34.070
is that when I'm[br]walking down the street,

0:23:34.070,0:23:36.830
people don't know[br]that I'm trans.

0:23:36.830,0:23:40.730
They're perceiving me[br]as a straight white man.

0:23:40.730,0:23:43.100
But not everybody[br]has that privilege.

0:23:43.100,0:23:44.770
KYE: I decided to[br]take testosterone

0:23:44.770,0:23:47.690
because every time I[br]would walk anywhere,

0:23:47.690,0:23:49.600
I would try to order[br]a sandwich, they would

0:23:49.600,0:23:50.920
ask, how can I help you, sir?

0:23:50.920,0:23:54.220
And I would answer and I'd say,[br]I want a roast beef sandwich.

0:23:54.220,0:23:56.110
And they'd be like,[br]I'm sorry, ma'am.

0:23:56.110,0:23:57.050
I'm like, no, no, no.

0:23:57.050,0:23:58.383
You had it right the first time.

0:23:58.383,0:24:01.630
LAVERNE COX: But sometimes the[br]consequences of not passing

0:24:01.630,0:24:03.815
can be very serious.

0:24:03.815,0:24:05.440
AVERY: My definition[br]of getting clocked

0:24:05.440,0:24:08.950
is somebody realizing[br]you're not a cis born

0:24:08.950,0:24:11.090
woman or a regular girl.

0:24:11.090,0:24:12.760
When I got clocked,[br]I felt like I

0:24:12.760,0:24:15.850
was representing what[br]I wanted to show,

0:24:15.850,0:24:19.520
and it made me[br]feel very insecure.

0:24:19.520,0:24:23.030
LAVERNE COX: 20-year-old Avery[br]has been identifying as female

0:24:23.030,0:24:24.440
for five years.

0:24:24.440,0:24:27.740
AVERY: I grew up with a[br]single mom and four sisters.

0:24:27.740,0:24:30.375
It was a lot of[br]estrogen, a lot of girls.

0:24:30.375,0:24:32.000
LAVERNE COX: At what[br]point in your life

0:24:32.000,0:24:34.070
did you realize that[br]you were different?

0:24:34.070,0:24:37.210
AVERY: Probably when[br]I was, like, 15.

0:24:37.210,0:24:39.250
I had two older[br]sisters and they always

0:24:39.250,0:24:42.910
wanted me to be their hot little[br]brother that got girls and was

0:24:42.910,0:24:44.150
a player and stuff.

0:24:44.150,0:24:45.880
But that really wasn't me.

0:24:45.880,0:24:48.470
Ever since that kind of stuff[br]was happening, I was like,

0:24:48.470,0:24:49.940
this doesn't feel right.

0:24:49.940,0:24:51.740
LAVERNE COX: Because[br]more often than not,

0:24:51.740,0:24:53.900
Avery's perceived as[br]the female she is.

0:24:53.900,0:24:57.410
She struggles with how and[br]when to reveal she's trans.

0:24:57.410,0:25:00.880
She knows all too well that[br]doing so to the wrong person

0:25:00.880,0:25:03.560
at the wrong time[br]can be dangerous.

0:25:03.560,0:25:06.370
AVERY: So I've been talking to[br]this guy and I met him online

0:25:06.370,0:25:09.640
and he's really[br]funny, and I haven't

0:25:09.640,0:25:11.710
disclosed that I'm trans yet.

0:25:11.710,0:25:15.030
And I'm a little nervous[br]to see what he says.

0:25:15.030,0:25:18.330
There's a time where I didn't[br]disclose that I was trans

0:25:18.330,0:25:20.412
and that didn't go so well.

0:25:20.412,0:25:21.870
LAVERNE COX: The[br]threat of violence

0:25:21.870,0:25:23.545
is something that's[br]really real for you.

0:25:23.545,0:25:25.170
AVERY: That's a real[br]possibility for me

0:25:25.170,0:25:27.520
because, sometimes,[br]especially with girls like us,

0:25:27.520,0:25:28.880
we like to test our realness.

0:25:28.880,0:25:30.990
We like to go out and[br]be like, oh, we're

0:25:30.990,0:25:32.770
so unclockable and everything.

0:25:32.770,0:25:36.120
But it's a very real[br]possibility that we

0:25:36.120,0:25:37.780
can be harmed physically.

0:25:37.780,0:25:41.662
You always see cases where these[br]women are murdered and killed,

0:25:41.662,0:25:43.620
and that's always in the[br]back of my head, which

0:25:43.620,0:25:46.260
is why I'm always cautious[br]when it comes to dating.

0:25:46.260,0:25:48.970
I wrote, hey, I have to tell[br]you something important.

0:25:48.970,0:25:51.810
I need to let you know[br]that I'm transgender.

0:25:51.810,0:25:54.040
I don't like to[br]disclose in person.

0:25:54.040,0:25:56.060
I like to be a little[br]cautious about that.

0:25:56.060,0:25:57.650
Texting is the best way.

0:25:57.650,0:25:58.920
LAVERNE COX: For safety?

0:25:58.920,0:26:00.960
AVERY: Exactly.

0:26:00.960,0:26:03.720
OK, so he just asked.

0:26:03.720,0:26:05.840
So what do you have down there?

0:26:05.840,0:26:08.590
This is actually really[br]typical in a lot of guys.

0:26:08.590,0:26:12.420
I feel like it's really kind of[br]insensitive and very personal

0:26:12.420,0:26:13.678
to ask.

0:26:13.678,0:26:14.220
I don't know.

0:26:14.220,0:26:15.070
We just met.

0:26:15.070,0:26:20.890
Like, I don't want to talk[br]about that area down there.

0:26:20.890,0:26:24.220


0:26:24.220,0:26:26.980
LAVERNE COX: So many people[br]will say that no matter

0:26:26.980,0:26:28.968
what surgery you[br]have, you're always

0:26:28.968,0:26:30.760
the gender that you[br]were assigned at birth.

0:26:30.760,0:26:32.875
Even if you have bottom[br]surgery, definitely

0:26:32.875,0:26:34.250
if you don't have[br]bottom surgery,

0:26:34.250,0:26:36.200
you are the gender you[br]were assigned at birth.

0:26:36.200,0:26:37.820
What would you say to them?

0:26:37.820,0:26:40.160
AVERY: I feel like[br]that is just ignorant.

0:26:40.160,0:26:42.410
Women come in all[br]shapes and sizes,

0:26:42.410,0:26:44.860
and I feel like[br]just to discredit us

0:26:44.860,0:26:47.050
because we were born[br]with a certain genitalia

0:26:47.050,0:26:48.420
is kind of ignorant.

0:26:48.420,0:26:51.250


0:26:51.250,0:26:52.860
I feel like it's[br]more fluid than that.

0:26:52.860,0:26:55.680


0:26:55.680,0:26:56.645
He wrote, I'm sorry.

0:26:56.645,0:26:57.395
I'm not into that.

0:26:57.395,0:26:59.970


0:26:59.970,0:27:01.510
I don't know why[br]you took two hours,

0:27:01.510,0:27:04.670
but it didn't work out, so.

0:27:04.670,0:27:06.170
LAVERNE COX: Most[br]of the time, Avery

0:27:06.170,0:27:08.450
says she experiences[br]rejection when

0:27:08.450,0:27:10.560
she discloses that she's trans.

0:27:10.560,0:27:12.770
But sometimes she[br]meets someone who's

0:27:12.770,0:27:15.632
open to getting to know[br]her just the way she is.

0:27:15.632,0:27:16.590
AVERY: Hi, how are you?

0:27:16.590,0:27:17.632
DONNIE: Nice to meet you.

0:27:17.632,0:27:19.160
AVERY: Nice to meet you too.

0:27:19.160,0:27:23.270
How do you feel about the whole[br]topic of transgender people

0:27:23.270,0:27:23.945
in general?

0:27:23.945,0:27:25.320
DONNIE: Does it[br]make you happier?

0:27:25.320,0:27:26.073
AVERY: Yeah.

0:27:26.073,0:27:27.240
DONNIE: That's what matters.

0:27:27.240,0:27:29.310
That's really what[br]the important part is.

0:27:29.310,0:27:31.890
AVERY: It's not for[br]everyone, obviously.

0:27:31.890,0:27:37.620
And it can be a total game[br]changer, which I understand.

0:27:37.620,0:27:39.890
Which is why I'm glad[br]you're OK with it.

0:27:39.890,0:27:43.010
The first date went pretty well.

0:27:43.010,0:27:45.350
He is really good at[br]keeping a conversation

0:27:45.350,0:27:47.940
and he's funny and sweet.

0:27:47.940,0:27:50.000
It makes me feel[br]validated and it

0:27:50.000,0:27:52.490
makes me feel like I'm[br]a normal person, which

0:27:52.490,0:27:54.060
is the most important thing.

0:27:54.060,0:27:57.163
Like I'm a normal girl.

0:27:57.163,0:27:58.580
LAVERNE COX: While[br]Avery navigates

0:27:58.580,0:28:02.720
the politics of[br]dating while trans,

0:28:02.720,0:28:06.490
L'lerret is struggling with[br]politics of a different kind.

0:28:06.490,0:28:07.740
L'LERRET: My name is L'lerret.

0:28:07.740,0:28:09.310
I'm 20 years old.

0:28:09.310,0:28:13.800
I go to a very private Catholic[br]HBCU, Historically Black

0:28:13.800,0:28:14.820
University.

0:28:14.820,0:28:17.190
I try to just perfect[br]my makeup because that's

0:28:17.190,0:28:18.210
part of my family.

0:28:18.210,0:28:20.580
Makeup is just, like, my armor.

0:28:20.580,0:28:23.550
I started hormones[br]in January, and it's

0:28:23.550,0:28:24.830
been a wonderful process.

0:28:24.830,0:28:26.410
It's been very transformative.

0:28:26.410,0:28:28.800
I've learned so[br]much about myself.

0:28:28.800,0:28:31.253
So I'm looking for,[br]like, a pore filler.

0:28:31.253,0:28:33.420
Something to make the skin[br]smoother looking before I

0:28:33.420,0:28:34.980
put on the foundation and stuff.

0:28:34.980,0:28:36.420
When you're getting[br]clocked, it's

0:28:36.420,0:28:39.450
like when you are just[br]living your life trying

0:28:39.450,0:28:42.210
to be yourself authentically,[br]and people can tell.

0:28:42.210,0:28:45.960
So people that don't pass,[br]they do experience a lot more

0:28:45.960,0:28:50.470
adversity because when a lot of[br]people experience trans women,

0:28:50.470,0:28:53.220
they don't know[br]how to react to us.

0:28:53.220,0:28:55.050
LAVERNE COX: Across[br]the country, studies

0:28:55.050,0:28:57.210
show that trans[br]women of color face

0:28:57.210,0:29:00.180
higher levels of police[br]profiling and harassment

0:29:00.180,0:29:02.050
than the general population.

0:29:02.050,0:29:04.290
And L'lerret is one[br]of the many trans

0:29:04.290,0:29:08.130
women in New Orleans who say[br]they have been unjustly targeted

0:29:08.130,0:29:09.310
by the police.

0:29:09.310,0:29:12.060
L'LERRET: This is Tulane[br]Avenue, and this is probably

0:29:12.060,0:29:14.340
one of the biggest[br]hotspots for the police

0:29:14.340,0:29:17.980
to come to meet their quota[br]and criminalize trans women,

0:29:17.980,0:29:19.540
especially trans women of color.

0:29:19.540,0:29:21.870
There's the stereotype[br]that all Black trans

0:29:21.870,0:29:25.680
women are sex workers.

0:29:25.680,0:29:27.520
No one goes to Bourbon[br]when the sun's out.

0:29:27.520,0:29:28.380
We go at night.

0:29:28.380,0:29:30.423
So if I'm leaving[br]school to go to Bourbon,

0:29:30.423,0:29:32.340
then of course I'm dressed[br]cute because I want

0:29:32.340,0:29:33.760
to look cute down in Bourbon.

0:29:33.760,0:29:37.770
Just the fear of being stopped[br]by the police is a problem.

0:29:37.770,0:29:39.990
They could see that as me[br]trying to flaunt my body

0:29:39.990,0:29:42.570
and they would crack[br]down on me as a way

0:29:42.570,0:29:45.400
to prevent me from being[br]harmed is what they say.

0:29:45.400,0:29:48.160
But when they crack[br]down on us consistently,

0:29:48.160,0:29:49.920
there becomes this[br]whole understanding

0:29:49.920,0:29:51.420
that all trans women[br]are sex workers

0:29:51.420,0:29:55.290
and they must dehumanize us[br]because that's who we are.

0:29:55.290,0:29:58.258
The intersections of being[br]transgender, being Black,

0:29:58.258,0:30:00.550
and being a woman altogether,[br]walking out late at night

0:30:00.550,0:30:02.190
is not a thing[br]that we do anymore.

0:30:02.190,0:30:03.910
People think that[br]when you're out here,

0:30:03.910,0:30:05.640
you're just like, open bait.

0:30:05.640,0:30:07.570
They'll honk their[br]horns, they'll stop.

0:30:07.570,0:30:09.810
We in New Orleans[br]are really working

0:30:09.810,0:30:12.280
to change this environment[br]and change the system.

0:30:12.280,0:30:15.150
So that trans women don't[br]feel afraid of going out

0:30:15.150,0:30:16.450
at certain times at night.

0:30:16.450,0:30:18.750
[MUSIC PLAYING]

0:30:18.750,0:30:20.130


0:30:20.130,0:30:22.630
CROWD: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

0:30:22.630,0:30:25.090
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

0:30:25.090,0:30:25.722
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

0:30:25.722,0:30:27.180
L'LERRET: Five or[br]six months ago, I

0:30:27.180,0:30:28.900
joined an organization[br]called Breakout.

0:30:28.900,0:30:30.900
Youth Breakout in[br]New Orleans, and it's

0:30:30.900,0:30:34.410
centered around the[br]decriminalization of LGBT youth

0:30:34.410,0:30:36.450
of color in New Orleans.

0:30:36.450,0:30:39.060
Having Breakout as that[br]outlet for all the youth

0:30:39.060,0:30:41.700
to come together and[br]start owning their power

0:30:41.700,0:30:43.950
and using their truths[br]to really affect

0:30:43.950,0:30:45.450
some change in the[br]community, I feel

0:30:45.450,0:30:46.420
like that's really important.

0:30:46.420,0:30:48.330
I think that's where[br]Breakout is going to go

0:30:48.330,0:30:49.710
is going to mobilize the youth.

0:30:49.710,0:30:51.210
At the end of the[br]day, I'm not going

0:30:51.210,0:30:53.490
to be scared of[br]being who I am, but I

0:30:53.490,0:30:58.860
do understand that being[br]that person is dangerous.

0:30:58.860,0:31:01.380
LAVERNE COX: Coming[br]up on The T Word.

0:31:01.380,0:31:03.420
DANIELLA: Last year, in[br]the middle of spring,

0:31:03.420,0:31:06.270
on this very same corner, I[br]was pulled off the streets

0:31:06.270,0:31:07.893
and I was raped by a guy.

0:31:07.893,0:31:09.810
LAVERNE COX: I always[br]connect to these stories

0:31:09.810,0:31:11.727
because I've been catcalled[br]and then someone's

0:31:11.727,0:31:14.630
realized that I'm trans[br]and I fear for my life.

0:31:14.630,0:31:19.950


0:31:19.950,0:31:22.800
The trans community is[br]enjoying more awareness

0:31:22.800,0:31:25.510
and social equality[br]than ever before.

0:31:25.510,0:31:28.500
But anti-trans bias[br]is still pervasive,

0:31:28.500,0:31:30.420
and violence[br]against trans people

0:31:30.420,0:31:33.233
remains disproportionately high.

0:31:33.233,0:31:34.650
ZOEY: Of course[br]I've been bullied.

0:31:34.650,0:31:36.550
I've gotten people[br]threatening me.

0:31:36.550,0:31:38.370
I've never been[br]physically harmed,

0:31:38.370,0:31:39.900
but I have been threatened.

0:31:39.900,0:31:40.900
KYE: I was just walking.

0:31:40.900,0:31:42.720
One guy, he comes[br]right in my face

0:31:42.720,0:31:45.510
and just like, oh, so you think[br]you a man, you think you a girl.

0:31:45.510,0:31:46.360
Like, come on, son.

0:31:46.360,0:31:48.100
Like, I'm going to show you[br]what it's like to be a man.

0:31:48.100,0:31:48.600
Da, da.

0:31:48.600,0:31:49.480
And I'm just like--

0:31:49.480,0:31:50.980
and I was just[br]looking at him, like,

0:31:50.980,0:31:52.590
is this really[br]happening right now?

0:31:52.590,0:31:55.780
SHANE: I went to the[br]7-Eleven up the road.

0:31:55.780,0:32:00.000
These two guys came in and they[br]said, are you a boy or a girl?

0:32:00.000,0:32:01.090
I didn't say anything.

0:32:01.090,0:32:02.470
I didn't want to get[br]into it with them.

0:32:02.470,0:32:04.678
And then they started to[br]get more aggressive about it

0:32:04.678,0:32:06.070
and they were like, what is it?

0:32:06.070,0:32:09.370
And I became an it, and[br]I was no longer a person.

0:32:09.370,0:32:11.190
LAVERNE COX: And[br]since LGBT youth

0:32:11.190,0:32:13.770
are much more likely than[br]the general population

0:32:13.770,0:32:15.840
to experience[br]homelessness, they're

0:32:15.840,0:32:19.145
even more susceptible to[br]becoming victims of crime.

0:32:19.145,0:32:24.260


0:32:24.260,0:32:25.270
DANIELLA: I'm fine.

0:32:25.270,0:32:27.370
How are you?

0:32:27.370,0:32:30.400
LAVERNE COX: 20-year-old[br]Daniella from New York knows

0:32:30.400,0:32:34.120
first hand the dangers of[br]being a trans woman living

0:32:34.120,0:32:35.128
on the streets.

0:32:35.128,0:32:36.670
DANIELLA: I was[br]raised in foster care

0:32:36.670,0:32:41.440
from 18 months old until[br]escaping around 16 officially.

0:32:41.440,0:32:44.120
Growing up in foster[br]care was really rough,

0:32:44.120,0:32:47.720
and by the age of 16, I[br]just wanted to be free.

0:32:47.720,0:32:49.750
I was sleeping on[br]the trains, sleeping

0:32:49.750,0:32:51.980
in the parks, the village.

0:32:51.980,0:32:53.970
That was my reality[br]for quite some time.

0:32:53.970,0:32:58.720


0:32:58.720,0:33:00.730
Last year, in the[br]middle of spring,

0:33:00.730,0:33:03.580
on this very same corner, I[br]was pulled off the streets

0:33:03.580,0:33:06.100
and I was raped by a guy.

0:33:06.100,0:33:07.120
He, like, has a knife.

0:33:07.120,0:33:09.500
And he's like, bitch, say[br]another word and these

0:33:09.500,0:33:10.985
will be your last words.

0:33:10.985,0:33:13.360
It's that moment where you[br]just, like-- you don't realize

0:33:13.360,0:33:15.350
that this is happening to you.

0:33:15.350,0:33:16.090
You know?

0:33:16.090,0:33:18.860
You're like, damn, do I scream?

0:33:18.860,0:33:21.160
Do I shout?

0:33:21.160,0:33:22.460
So now here we are.

0:33:22.460,0:33:23.520
We're in this car.

0:33:23.520,0:33:26.310
And I remember, my hand[br]was shaking unbearably.

0:33:26.310,0:33:29.720
And I remember him like, telling[br]me, stop shaking, stop shaking.

0:33:29.720,0:33:32.700
I was just begging him,[br]please, just take all my money.

0:33:32.700,0:33:35.270
Take everything I own[br]and just let me go.

0:33:35.270,0:33:37.730
But my property wasn't enough.

0:33:37.730,0:33:41.600
The only property he[br]wanted to own was my body.

0:33:41.600,0:33:44.700
You feel so helpless that[br]all you could think about is,

0:33:44.700,0:33:46.460
will I make it[br]out of this alive?

0:33:46.460,0:33:49.890
Every single day when[br]I walk outside at night

0:33:49.890,0:33:51.470
becomes that moment for me.

0:33:51.470,0:33:53.430
Will I be a survivor[br]or will I be a victim?

0:33:53.430,0:33:56.002


0:33:56.002,0:33:57.460
LAVERNE COX: So[br]what happened next?

0:33:57.460,0:33:58.890
DANIELLA: Then we[br]get to the hospital.

0:33:58.890,0:34:01.182
And I remember like everyone[br]saying to me, don't worry,

0:34:01.182,0:34:02.390
things are going to be fine.

0:34:02.390,0:34:03.903
We're going to[br]give you a rape kit

0:34:03.903,0:34:05.820
and I'm sorry to have[br]to put you through this,

0:34:05.820,0:34:08.250
but we have to stick[br]it in the female area.

0:34:08.250,0:34:13.190
And I was just like, yeah, but[br]I don't think that's possible.

0:34:13.190,0:34:15.300
And then they said, so[br]how did he rape you?

0:34:15.300,0:34:17.330
And I said, well,[br]he, like, put it

0:34:17.330,0:34:19.290
in the anal and stuff like that.

0:34:19.290,0:34:23.179
And she says, oh, and[br]he raped you like that?

0:34:23.179,0:34:24.650
Because I could[br]feel the shift now.

0:34:24.650,0:34:26.130
You're sure it wasn't sex work?

0:34:26.130,0:34:29.219
LAVERNE COX: The second she[br]found out that you were trans,

0:34:29.219,0:34:31.255
she basically accused you[br]of being a sex worker.

0:34:31.255,0:34:31.880
DANIELLA: Yeah.

0:34:31.880,0:34:33.818
And then started[br]telling me, like, oh,

0:34:33.818,0:34:37.550
you sure you wasn't prostituting[br]and he took advantage

0:34:37.550,0:34:39.480
and he didn't give[br]you what you wanted

0:34:39.480,0:34:42.485
and now you're saying that[br]it's rape to get back at him?

0:34:42.485,0:34:44.610
I'll never forget it,[br]because here I am, just like,

0:34:44.610,0:34:46.485
you're not going to get[br]treated with respect.

0:34:46.485,0:34:49.570


0:34:49.570,0:34:52.489
LAVERNE COX: Daniella was[br]lucky to escape with her life.

0:34:52.489,0:34:58.030
But sadly, stories like[br]hers are all too common.

0:34:58.030,0:34:59.830
DANIELLA: I'm taking[br]in this moment

0:34:59.830,0:35:02.870
where I'm like, wow, look at[br]the things you've encountered,

0:35:02.870,0:35:07.660
but look at all of the things[br]you did to move past that.

0:35:07.660,0:35:09.490
And it's making me[br]emotional because I'm

0:35:09.490,0:35:10.990
thinking about[br]everybody else that's

0:35:10.990,0:35:13.680
coming, and knowing that this[br]is where they have to live.

0:35:13.680,0:35:16.415


0:35:16.415,0:35:18.860
[THUNDER]

0:35:18.860,0:35:35.510


0:35:35.510,0:35:38.030
LAVERNE COX: We are[br]going to the site

0:35:38.030,0:35:42.680
where Islan Nettles was[br]murdered almost a year ago.

0:35:42.680,0:35:44.360
This girl was 21 years old.

0:35:44.360,0:35:46.400
She had been[br]homeless and she was

0:35:46.400,0:35:49.670
beaten into a coma on Frederick[br]Douglas Avenue in front

0:35:49.670,0:35:51.120
of a police precinct.

0:35:51.120,0:35:54.710
The police pulled a young[br]man off of her, arrested him

0:35:54.710,0:35:56.570
for assault, and[br]once she died, they

0:35:56.570,0:35:58.910
dropped the assault charges[br]because they allegedly

0:35:58.910,0:36:01.980
want to bring homicide[br]charges against this person.

0:36:01.980,0:36:03.710
But they haven't done[br]it yet because they

0:36:03.710,0:36:05.520
don't have enough evidence.

0:36:05.520,0:36:06.870
It's a year later.

0:36:06.870,0:36:08.660
I always connect[br]to these stories

0:36:08.660,0:36:10.970
because I've been Islan[br]Nettles walking down the street

0:36:10.970,0:36:13.400
and catcalled and someone's[br]realized that I'm trans

0:36:13.400,0:36:18.270
and I fear for my life.

0:36:18.270,0:36:18.770
Hey.

0:36:18.770,0:36:24.180


0:36:24.180,0:36:27.715
So this is the place[br]where it happened.

0:36:27.715,0:36:29.230
This is for Island,[br]that we never

0:36:29.230,0:36:33.190
forget young women like her who[br]are fighting for their lives

0:36:33.190,0:36:35.370
or who may have[br]lost their lives.

0:36:35.370,0:36:38.120
We remember you and[br]we love you, Islan.

0:36:38.120,0:36:40.430
[MUSIC PLAYING]

0:36:40.430,0:36:44.130


0:36:44.130,0:36:46.710
I'm just having all of these[br]flashbacks to CeCe McDonald's

0:36:46.710,0:36:47.210
story.

0:36:47.210,0:36:48.990
CeCe McDonald is a[br]young trans woman

0:36:48.990,0:36:51.300
who, like Islan, was[br]walking down the street

0:36:51.300,0:36:52.720
and then was violently attacked.

0:36:52.720,0:36:54.120
CeCe survived.

0:36:54.120,0:36:56.190
Her gifts for survival[br]was a prison sentence

0:36:56.190,0:36:59.620
because, in defending herself,[br]one of her attackers was killed.

0:36:59.620,0:37:02.620
If you look at Jules Gutierrez's[br]story in Northern California,

0:37:02.620,0:37:05.590
she was attacked at her school[br]by a group of young girls,

0:37:05.590,0:37:08.110
or Chrissy Polis in Baltimore.

0:37:08.110,0:37:11.400
That video that went viral when[br]she was attacked in a McDonald's

0:37:11.400,0:37:14.730
by a group of young girls.

0:37:14.730,0:37:18.420
We just came off of five trans[br]women being murdered in 41 days.

0:37:18.420,0:37:21.130
There's a feeling of[br]helplessness and powerlessness.

0:37:21.130,0:37:24.090
It feels like it's[br]sanctioned by the state

0:37:24.090,0:37:26.830
and by our society[br]to just pick us off.

0:37:26.830,0:37:30.570
It's infuriating and[br]maddening that it

0:37:30.570,0:37:35.230
feels like these murders are[br]treated as if they're OK,

0:37:35.230,0:37:38.490
as if we deserve to[br]be victims of violence

0:37:38.490,0:37:40.580
simply for being who we are.

0:37:40.580,0:37:42.485
[MUSIC PLAYING]

0:37:42.485,0:38:06.650


0:38:06.650,0:38:08.870
SPEAKER 6: Crazy, sexy[br]smart, fast, next, dangerous.

0:38:08.870,0:38:10.310
Ish.

0:38:10.310,0:38:11.580
LAVERNE COX: Don't go away.

0:38:11.580,0:38:13.975
The T Word continues right now.

0:38:13.975,0:38:17.030


0:38:17.030,0:38:20.960
We've seen how trans people face[br]widespread discrimination when

0:38:20.960,0:38:22.600
they start living their truth.

0:38:22.600,0:38:25.580
But despite that, this[br]remarkable group of young people

0:38:25.580,0:38:28.070
is rising above the stigma[br]and creating a brighter

0:38:28.070,0:38:29.890
future for themselves.

0:38:29.890,0:38:32.390
ZOEY: So this is[br]an award I received

0:38:32.390,0:38:38.120
from CSW because they saw that[br]I had some leadership in me.

0:38:38.120,0:38:39.600
LAVERNE COX: Zoey[br]just turned 13,

0:38:39.600,0:38:42.660
and she's already become a[br]powerful voice for trans youth.

0:38:42.660,0:38:46.190
She and her mom joined the fight[br]to pass a new law in California

0:38:46.190,0:38:50.300
that now provides greater[br]protection for trans students.

0:38:50.300,0:38:52.640
ZOEY: The law allows[br]students in California

0:38:52.640,0:38:54.840
to use their[br]preferred bathrooms,

0:38:54.840,0:38:58.410
and now I can use the girls'[br]locker room without any hassle.

0:38:58.410,0:38:59.785
So I'm just really excited.

0:38:59.785,0:39:02.233


0:39:02.233,0:39:04.400
LAVERNE COX: Kye retired[br]from competitive basketball

0:39:04.400,0:39:07.760
three years ago, but his unique[br]experiences in college sports

0:39:07.760,0:39:09.060
led to a new passion.

0:39:09.060,0:39:11.060
KYE: I went from being[br]an athlete to an advocate

0:39:11.060,0:39:12.980
like that, traveling[br]and speaking

0:39:12.980,0:39:16.380
to schools about[br]my story, trying

0:39:16.380,0:39:19.120
to create safer spaces[br]for other trans athletes.

0:39:19.120,0:39:20.920
I've had kids come up[br]to me and say, wow,

0:39:20.920,0:39:22.170
I've never met a trans person.

0:39:22.170,0:39:24.003
Like, thank you for[br]just coming to my school

0:39:24.003,0:39:26.080
and just being here[br]and sharing your story.

0:39:26.080,0:39:27.810
And they told me it[br]made a difference.

0:39:27.810,0:39:28.990
That's all I'm trying to do.

0:39:28.990,0:39:31.480
[MUSIC PLAYING]

0:39:31.480,0:39:33.633


0:39:33.633,0:39:35.050
LAVERNE COX:[br]Daniella is committed

0:39:35.050,0:39:38.270
to using her experience[br]to help other trans youth.

0:39:38.270,0:39:41.000
She has recently started[br]an online business

0:39:41.000,0:39:43.930
and finally has a[br]home to call her own.

0:39:43.930,0:39:45.640
DANIELLA: I really[br]do feel blessed.

0:39:45.640,0:39:47.800
This is my safe space.

0:39:47.800,0:39:49.990
I think I beat the[br]odds as a youth.

0:39:49.990,0:39:51.495
That's what my[br]apartment shows me.

0:39:51.495,0:39:55.550


0:39:55.550,0:39:58.220
LAVERNE COX: Ari survived high[br]school and is now on his way

0:39:58.220,0:40:01.190
to college to pursue[br]his dreams of becoming

0:40:01.190,0:40:03.320
a professional recording artist.

0:40:03.320,0:40:08.670
ARI: Being done with high school[br]means that I've overcome a lot.

0:40:08.670,0:40:10.520
I feel really proud of myself.

0:40:10.520,0:40:13.160
I can't wait to get this next[br]chapter started in my life

0:40:13.160,0:40:14.600
and be more[br]independent and learn

0:40:14.600,0:40:15.990
to really take care of myself.

0:40:15.990,0:40:17.730
So I'm really looking[br]forward to that.

0:40:17.730,0:40:20.370
And I'm looking forward, period.

0:40:20.370,0:40:21.575
I can't wait.

0:40:21.575,0:40:23.030
[CHEERING]

0:40:23.030,0:40:24.415
Thank you guys so much.

0:40:24.415,0:40:31.100


0:40:31.100,0:40:32.580
SHANE: Being here[br]today is amazing.

0:40:32.580,0:40:34.610
There are so many[br]beautiful humans here,

0:40:34.610,0:40:36.650
and I'm excited to[br]be a part of it.

0:40:36.650,0:40:38.360
LAVERNE COX: Both[br]L'lerret and Shane

0:40:38.360,0:40:40.375
are graduating from[br]college this year.

0:40:40.375,0:40:43.840


0:40:43.840,0:40:45.910
Avery not only has[br]a new job working

0:40:45.910,0:40:48.850
with a fashion designer--[br]she has a new man in her life

0:40:48.850,0:40:50.039
as well.

0:40:50.039,0:40:52.484
[MUSIC PLAYING]

0:40:52.484,0:41:00.320


0:41:00.320,0:41:01.760
AVERY: The most[br]important message

0:41:01.760,0:41:04.820
I want for people who aren't[br]in the trans community

0:41:04.820,0:41:06.780
is just that we're[br]normal people.

0:41:06.780,0:41:07.890
We have feelings.

0:41:07.890,0:41:09.118
We do normal things.

0:41:09.118,0:41:11.160
We're just trying to live[br]our lives like you are.

0:41:11.160,0:41:14.000
We're going through the[br]same struggles as you.

0:41:14.000,0:41:16.400
You should probably[br]get to know us.

0:41:16.400,0:41:19.150
[MUSIC PLAYING]

0:41:19.150,0:42:06.000