0:00:09.555,0:00:10.188 - Aye 0:00:14.312,0:00:18.329 - Oh dad! Look who's come to see us. I'ts our Ken! 0:00:19.238,0:00:21.154 - Aye, and about bloody time if you ask me. 0:00:22.123,0:00:23.765 - Aren't you pleased to see me, father? 0:00:24.088,0:00:26.182 - Yes, 'course he's pleased to see you, Ken. 0:00:26.520,0:00:30.601 - All right, woman, all right. I've got a tongue in my head. I'll do 'talkin'. 0:00:32.354,0:00:37.118 - Aye ... I like yer fancy suit. Is that what they're wearing up in Yorkshire now? 0:00:37.226,0:00:41.917 - It's just an ordinary suit, father... it's all I've got apart from the overalls. 0:00:42.287,0:00:44.711 - How are you liking it down the mine, Ken? 0:00:44.711,0:00:46.231 - Oh it's not too bad, mum... 0:00:46.231,0:00:50.451 We're using some new tungsten carbide drills for the preliminary coal-face scouring operations. 0:00:50.451,0:00:52.384 - Oh that sounds nice, dear... 0:00:52.384,0:00:58.600 - Tungsten carbide drills! What the bloody hell's tungsten carbide drills? 0:00:58.600,0:01:00.692 - It's something they use in coal-mining, father. 0:01:00.692,0:01:05.188 - 'It's something they use in coal-mining, father'. You' re bloody fancy talk since you left London. 0:01:05.188,0:01:06.479 - Oh not that again. 0:01:06.647,0:01:11.359 - He's had a hard day dear... his new play opens at National Theatre tomorrow. 0:01:11.359,0:01:12.816 - Oh that's good. 0:01:12.909,0:01:15.688 - Good! Good? What do you know about it? 0:01:15.688,0:01:18.074 What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris... 0:01:18.074,0:01:21.871 back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, 0:01:21.871,0:01:25.227 television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a 0:01:25.227,0:01:30.247 homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. 0:01:30.247,0:01:34.160 That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it! 0:01:34.160,0:01:36.005 - Oh, don't shout at the boy, father. 0:01:36.174,0:01:39.054 - Aye, 'ampstead wasn't good enough for you, was it?... 0:01:39.423,0:01:42.288 You had to go poncing off to Barnsley. 0:01:43.673,0:01:46.342 You and yer coal-mining friends. 0:01:46.342,0:01:50.980 - Coal-mining is a wonderful thing father, but it's something you'll never understand. 0:01:50.980,0:01:52.277 Just look at you! 0:01:52.277,0:01:55.429 - Oh Ken! Be careful! You know what he's like after a few novels. 0:01:55.429,0:02:02.738 - Oh come on lad! Come on, out wi' it! What's wrong wi' me?... ye tit! 0:02:03.292,0:02:04.866 - I'll tell you what's wrong with you. 0:02:04.959,0:02:07.079 Your head's addled with novels and poems, 0:02:07.172,0:02:09.538 you come home every evening reeling of Chateau La Tour... 0:02:09.615,0:02:10.440 - Oh don't, don't. 0:02:10.532,0:02:11.834 - And look what you've done to mother! 0:02:11.972,0:02:15.701 She's worn out with meeting film stars, attending premieres and giving gala luncheons... 0:02:15.793,0:02:19.921 - There's nowt wrong wi' gala luncheons, lad! 0:02:19.921,0:02:22.861 I've had more gala luncheons than you've had hot dinners! 0:02:22.861,0:02:23.629 - Oh please! 0:02:23.720,0:02:25.355 - Aaaaaaagh! 0:02:25.494,0:02:26.492 - Oh no! 0:02:26.584,0:02:28.046 - What is it? 0:02:28.046,0:02:29.976 - Oh, it's his writer's cramp! 0:02:29.976,0:02:31.686 - You never told me about this... 0:02:31.686,0:02:33.599 - No, we didn't like to, Kenny. 0:02:33.599,0:02:36.283 - I'm all right! I'm all right, woman. Just get him out of here. 0:02:36.283,0:02:38.260 - Oh Ken! You'd better go... 0:02:38.260,0:02:39.749 - All right. I'm going. 0:02:39.749,0:02:40.304 - After all we've done for him... 0:02:40.436,0:02:44.736 One day you'll realize there's more to life than culture... There's dirt, and smoke, and good honest sweat! 0:02:44.900,0:02:47.696 - Get out! Get out! Get OUT! You ... LABOURER! 0:02:50.803,0:02:54.727 - Hey, you know, mother, I think there's a play there.... get t'agent on t'phone. 0:02:54.835,0:03:01.346 Aye I think you're right, Frank, it could express, it could express a vital theme of our age... 0:03:01.449,0:03:02.281 - Aye. 0:03:02.381,0:03:03.983 Oh shut up! 0:03:04.137,0:03:05.930 Shut up! 0:03:06.776,0:03:08.062 Oh, that's better. 0:03:08.200,0:03:11.308 Now for something completely different... a man with three buttocks... 0:03:11.431,0:03:12.810 - We've done that! 0:03:12.933,0:03:15.121 Oh all right. All right! 0:03:16.411,0:03:17.799 A man with... 0:03:18.245,0:03:19.634 ...nine legs. 0:03:19.803,0:03:20.898 - He ran away. 0:03:21.082,0:03:24.497 Oh... Bloody Hell! Er... 0:03:27.448,0:03:29.211 a Scotsman on a horse! 0:03:47.400,0:03:53.548 Harold! Come back, Harold! Harold! Come back, Harold! Oh, blast!