1 00:00:09,555 --> 00:00:10,188 - Aye 2 00:00:14,312 --> 00:00:18,329 - Oh dad! Look who's come to see us. I'ts our Ken! 3 00:00:19,238 --> 00:00:21,154 - Aye, and about bloody time if you ask me. 4 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,765 - Aren't you pleased to see me, father? 5 00:00:24,088 --> 00:00:26,182 - Yes, 'course he's pleased to see you, Ken. 6 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:30,601 All right, woman, all right. I've got a tongue in my head. I'll do 'talkin'. 7 00:00:32,354 --> 00:00:37,118 - Aye ... I like yer fancy suit. Is that what they're wearing up in Yorkshire now? 8 00:00:37,226 --> 00:00:41,917 - It's just an ordinary suit, father... it's all I've got apart from the overalls. 9 00:00:42,287 --> 00:00:44,711 - How are you liking it down the mine, Ken? 10 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,231 - Oh it's not too bad, mum... 11 00:00:46,231 --> 00:00:50,451 We're using some new tungsten carbide drills for the preliminary coal-face scouring operations. 12 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,384 - Oh that sounds nice, dear... 13 00:00:52,384 --> 00:00:58,600 - Tungsten carbide drills! What the bloody hell's tungsten carbide drills? 14 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,692 - It's something they use in coal-mining, father. 15 00:01:00,692 --> 00:01:05,188 - 'It's something they use in coal-mining, father'. You' re bloody fancy talk since you left London. 16 00:01:05,188 --> 00:01:06,479 - Oh not that again. 17 00:01:06,647 --> 00:01:11,359 - He's had a hard day dear... his new play opens at National Theatre tomorrow. 18 00:01:11,359 --> 00:01:12,816 - Oh that's good. 19 00:01:12,909 --> 00:01:15,688 - Good! Good? What do you know about it? 20 00:01:15,688 --> 00:01:18,074 What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris... 21 00:01:18,074 --> 00:01:21,871 back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, 22 00:01:21,871 --> 00:01:25,227 television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a 23 00:01:25,227 --> 00:01:30,247 homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. 24 00:01:30,247 --> 00:01:34,160 That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it! 25 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,005 - Oh, don't shout at the boy, father. 26 00:01:36,174 --> 00:01:39,054 - Aye, 'ampstead wasn't good enough for you, was it?... 27 00:01:39,423 --> 00:01:42,288 You had to go poncing off to Barnsley. 28 00:01:43,673 --> 00:01:46,342 You and yer coal-mining friends. 29 00:01:46,342 --> 00:01:50,980 - Coal-mining is a wonderful thing father, but it's something you'll never understand. 30 00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,277 Just look at you! 31 00:01:52,277 --> 00:01:55,429 - Oh Ken! Be careful! You know what he's like after a few novels. 32 00:01:55,429 --> 00:02:02,738 - Oh come on lad! Come on, out wi' it! What's wrong wi' me?... ye tit! 33 00:02:03,292 --> 00:02:04,866 - I'll tell you what's wrong with you. 34 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,079 Your head's addled with novels and poems, 35 00:02:07,172 --> 00:02:09,538 you come home every evening reeling of Chateau La Tour... 36 00:02:09,615 --> 00:02:10,440 - Oh don't, don't. 37 00:02:10,532 --> 00:02:11,834 - And look what you've done to mother! 38 00:02:11,972 --> 00:02:15,701 She's worn out with meeting film stars, attending premieres and giving gala luncheons... 39 00:02:15,793 --> 00:02:19,921 - There's nowt wrong wi' gala luncheons, lad! 40 00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:22,861 I've had more gala luncheons than you've had hot dinners! 41 00:02:22,861 --> 00:02:23,629 - Oh please! 42 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,355 - Aaaaaaagh! 43 00:02:25,494 --> 00:02:26,492 - Oh no! 44 00:02:26,584 --> 00:02:28,046 - What is it? 45 00:02:28,046 --> 00:02:29,976 - Oh, it's his writer's cramp! 46 00:02:29,976 --> 00:02:31,686 - You never told me about this... 47 00:02:31,686 --> 00:02:33,599 - No, we didn't like to, Kenny. 48 00:02:33,599 --> 00:02:36,283 - I'm all right! I'm all right, woman. Just get him out of here. 49 00:02:36,283 --> 00:02:38,260 - Oh Ken! You'd better go... 50 00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:39,749 - All right. I'm going. 51 00:02:39,749 --> 00:02:40,304 - After all we've done for him... 52 00:02:40,436 --> 00:02:44,736 One day you'll realize there's more to life than culture... There's dirt, and smoke, and good honest sweat! 53 00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:47,696 - Get out! Get out! Get OUT! You ... LABOURER! 54 00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:54,727 - Hey, you know, mother, I think there's a play there.... get t'agent on t'phone. 55 00:02:54,835 --> 00:03:01,346 Aye I think you're right, Frank, it could express, it could express a vital theme of our age... 56 00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:02,281 - Aye. 57 00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:03,983 Oh shut up! 58 00:03:04,137 --> 00:03:05,930 Shut up! 59 00:03:06,776 --> 00:03:08,062 Oh, that's better. 60 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,308 Now for something completely different... a man with three buttocks... 61 00:03:11,431 --> 00:03:12,810 - We've done that! 62 00:03:12,933 --> 00:03:15,121 Oh all right. All right! 63 00:03:16,411 --> 00:03:17,799 A man with... 64 00:03:18,245 --> 00:03:19,634 ...nine legs. 65 00:03:19,803 --> 00:03:20,898 - He ran away. 66 00:03:21,082 --> 00:03:24,497 Oh... Bloody Hell! Er... 67 00:03:27,448 --> 00:03:29,673 a Scotsman on a horse! 68 00:03:45,709 --> 00:03:51,779 Harold! Come back, Harold! Harold! Come back, Harold! Oh, blast!