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INDOXXI[br]Support dengan like & share :)

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(# Scratchy hip hop breaks)

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Hey, what's up, everybody?[br]I'm Thurgood Jenkins.

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It's funny,[br]but I can trace the entire path of my life

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to one childhood memory.

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My last clear memory, really.[br]It was the summer before ninth grade.

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There was me, Brian, Kenny, Scarface[br]and, of course, the loveable Old James.

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Hold on, wait a minute, Old James?[br]Old James wasn't there.

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I don't even know nobody named[br]Old James. Shoot.

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Go on!

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- Why don't you light it up there, brother?[br]- All right, here goes nothing.

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(Whoosh, brass fanfare)

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(Coughs)

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I don't remember graduating. My first sexual[br]experience - I don't remember that either.

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But, man, I will never, ever forget the first[br]time I smoked that sweet, sweet chiba.

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- Feel anything?[br]- Yeah, I feel my chest cavin' in.

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- Man, this stuff didn't even work.[br]- Man!

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Come on, let's get some candy[br]and get out of here, B.

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I've heard people say they don't get high[br]the first time they smoke.

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Not me. No, not us.

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We were really, really high.

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We was tore up!

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- Do you guys feel different?[br]- A little.

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How about you, Scarface?

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(Raygun blast)

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- And you, Kenny?[br]- (Slurping)

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I haven't been so thirsty in my entire life.

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- (# Easy-listening rock)[br]- Do you guys hear that?

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Feels like Jerry Garcia's in my head.

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Am I going crazy?

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We look at that day as the day we met[br]the fifth member of our crew... marijuana!

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- Oh, Lord, we was hooked![br]- (Thud)

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So now we all live together in New York.

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I myself am a master of the custodial arts.

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Or a janitor, if you want to be a dick about it.

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Anyway, I work at this lab,[br]Frankensense and Burr Pharmaceutical.

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They do pharmaceutical testing[br]for the government and big corporations.

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And I am the happiest custodian alive.

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# To the water... #

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This job sucks.

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Abba-Zaba...[br]you are my only friend.

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It could be worse.[br]I could have Scarface's job.

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- Heifer with cheese.[br]- You son of a bitch, I'm right behind you!

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Turn and ask me[br]for a Heifer with cheese, yo!

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Why you gotta make me feel inferior[br]cos I'm on the grill, B? Damn!

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Scarface is a hyper guy for a pothead.

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Sorry.

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Kenny is probably doing the best[br]out of all of us.

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He's a kindergarten teacher downtown,

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which I know might scare parents,[br]seeing as how he's a weedhead.

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Let me tell you, man, that guy does wonders[br]for those children's self-esteem.

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- Thank you.[br]- I love you so much, little one.

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All of you. All of you are so good.

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Brian works at a new and used record[br]store. He gets to talk about music all day.

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Perfect job for a stoner.

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Lady, you want seven bucks[br]for a used Kenny Loggins record?

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- I'll give you five.[br]- Uh-uh, he autographed it himself.

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- All right, I'll give you four.[br]- (Suppressed laughter)

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Jan, stop it, man.

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As far as herb goes,[br]you can get it all over this town.

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They might call it the city that never sleeps,[br]but I'll tell you this,

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it takes a lot of fuckin' weed naps.

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Free!

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You can get the stuff at corner stores[br]called bodegas. Say it with me.

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Bodegas. Yes, very good.

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These places always have[br]incredibly old products,

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but the weed ain't bad.

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- Let me get four dime bags.[br]- I have no idea what you're talking about.

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Jose, you crazy, man.[br]Come on, man, let me get them dimes.

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The problem is they never remember you.

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You have to do something extreme[br]to let 'em know you're cool.

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- Hey, fellas. Y'all know me. Look at this.[br]- Hey, black ass!

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- Why you didn't moon us earlier?[br]- It's a little degrading.

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You can get it from the Rastas[br]at Washington Square Park.

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But their stuff ain't weed most of the time.[br]I don't fall for that shit any more.

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Then there's a delivery service[br]run by Samson Simpson.

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When you can afford it, this is the best way.[br]You can get anything from weed to heroin.

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- I don't do drugs, though, just weed.[br]- (Doorbell)

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Coming.

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You call them up and a half-hour later[br]you got a delivery guy at your house.

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- (Knock)[br]- What a country!

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You called about your plumbing?[br]Empty pipes?

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- (Whispers) Secret code.[br]- Come on in.

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- Highs, mediums or lows?[br]- How are the highs, man?

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I'd say they got a piney taste, almost minty.[br]Notice the little red hairs and rich greenery?

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- I see those.[br]- The highest grade hydroponics in the city.

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What, did you go to weed college? Damn,[br]nigger. All right, give me a 50 bag of that.

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- Been a pleasure.[br]- Pleasure's all mine.

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- Tell Samson I say hello, would you?[br]- Sure thing.

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Everybody has their own little ritual when[br]it comes to smoking. We were no different.

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- Break out Billy Bong Thornton.[br]- Yeah!

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Billy, good to see you, man!

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All right, light it up.

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Shoes off.

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- Oh. Brian, put yours back on, man.[br]- For real, amigo. Do your sock laundry, yo.

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Gentlemen...

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assume your positions.

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(# Blissed-out reggae)

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Fire in the hole.

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- Yo, who's on munchies tonight, yo?[br]- Not me.

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I guess that'd be me.

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What do you guys want?

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Get some...

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sour cream and onion chips[br]with some dip, man.

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Some beef jerky, some peanut butter.[br]Get some H�agen-Dazs ice-cream bars.

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Make sure, chocolate.[br]Gotta have chocolate, man.

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Some popcorn, bread popcorn.[br]Graham crackers.

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Graham crackers with the marshmallows,[br]chocolate bars. We'll make smores, man!

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That's what I was sayin'!

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Also celery, grape jelly,[br]Cap'n Crunch with the crunch berries.

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Pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man.[br]Everything on 'em.

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With water, a whole lot of water.

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And...

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Funyuns.

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Yeah.

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- That's it?[br]- Yeah.

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Anyone want anything else?

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Oh, yeah. Get me a box of condoms

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and... what's that stuff?

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We used to eat it all the time[br]back in the day. Pussy!

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- You got it.[br]- Thanks, man.

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And, hey...

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If I'm not back in ten minutes, call the police.

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If he ain't back in ten minutes,[br]we callin' Domino's!

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(Whinnying)

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Hey, girl, you hungry?

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Fuck you, nigger!

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Hey, I'm sorry.[br]I was talking to the horse here.

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See the trouble you're gettin' me into?

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You're hungry, aren't ya? Here.

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Oh-h! Huh-h?

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You like popcorn.

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It makes your teeth go pop, pop, pop!

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This is Buster Phillips[br]and coming in at No.8 like El Ni�o -

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"Samson Gets Me Lifted"[br]by my main man! Who? Sir Smoka Lot.

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Rrrrrr!

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(# Rap beats)

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This guy is weed crazy! Look at that!

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- What do you want, master?[br]- Bitch, you know what I want.

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(Cackling)

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# I wanna talk to Samson! Fly me[br]to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden!

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# Cos it's hard bein' black and gifted!

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# Sometimes I just wanna throw it all down[br]and get lifted! #

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That is so cool, man.[br]He got the same dealer as us.

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Who do you mean?

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Samson!

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Oh, right.

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# Everybody knows in my neighbourhood[br]it's the bestest around

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# Samson's shit is blessed[br]Got the whole town on lockdown

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I wanna get right here.

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# Legalise this shit, please! #

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I'm all out.

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I'm all out of food. You ate it all.

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Gee, you must've been so hungry.

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Uh-oh!

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Oh!

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Buttercup! Buttercup!

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I need an ambulance, now! Officer down!

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I repeat, officer down![br]What the hell did you give my Buttercup?

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I just gave him some candy and some chips,[br]some pink popcorn and some Funyuns...

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This horse is a diabetic!

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Arrrgh!

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Buttercup, Buttercup!

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- Don't you leave me. Breathe, Buttercup![br]- (Pounding)

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Breathe, breathe!

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(Howls) Why?!

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- Why? (Sobs)[br]- Why?

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- You're under arrest.[br]- What?

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- You dumb son of a bitch![br]- No!

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I'm a... I'm a peaceful man.

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- I'm a schoolteacher![br]- Shut up! You're a cop killer!

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Cop killer? I love horses!

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- I love horses.[br]- I love horses.

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- I love Buttered Stuff.[br]- Buttercup! Say it!

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- Butter nuts.[br]- Cup, cup, cup!

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(Sirens wailing)

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Why must you rage? Stop the hate, child.

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Bail is set at one million dollars[br]for the crime of killing an officer of the law.

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And may God have mercy on your soul,[br]young man. This court is adjourned.

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(PA) Back to your cells. Lockdown.

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(Another inmate) Good night, fish.

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(All) Fish! Fish! Fish! Fish...

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My weed's wearing off.

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Fish! Fish! Fish!

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(Snoring)

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- Guess who![br]- Yo, Thurgood.

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Oh, ho-ho!

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- Hey, nigger, what time is it?[br]- 8.30.

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Kenny didn't come home last night.

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- We are worried, man.[br]- Worried, yo.

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Where the hell is he?

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Did he just move?

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"Kenny called. He's in jail.[br]He didn't leave a number.

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"Sincerely, The Guy on the Couch."

0:13:13.160,0:13:17.278
Come on, guys.[br]We gotta get Kenny out of jail, man.

0:13:20.240,0:13:22.549
Hey, Kenny, how they treating you?

0:13:22.600,0:13:26.673
Let's just say I'm not gettin'[br]the respect a cop killer deserves.

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All right, time's up. Break off.

0:13:28.480,0:13:30.710
I was up all night...

0:13:30.760,0:13:32.876
getting harassed!

0:13:32.920,0:13:36.435
- Hi, there, fish.[br]- See what I mean?

0:13:36.480,0:13:40.996
I think they're mistaking my kindness[br]for weakness. I'm scared!

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Hey, Kenny,[br]we're gonna get you out of there, man.

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All we gotta do is raise ten per cent[br]of one million, which, by our calculations...

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Is fucking impossible, man!

0:13:52.920,0:13:54.831
Hey!

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Sorry, man. I'm sorry.

0:13:57.240,0:14:01.438
All my life, I did everything right.[br]I never screwed up.

0:14:01.480,0:14:05.678
I fed the horse.[br]I didn't know it was a diabetic.

0:14:05.720,0:14:07.438
I'm scared!

0:14:07.480,0:14:10.631
Kenny, stop crying.[br]Stop crying, Kenny! Look at me.

0:14:11.240,0:14:13.276
Don't let 'em see you cry in there.

0:14:13.320,0:14:15.311
- Show me your mean face.[br]- No.

0:14:15.360,0:14:17.430
Yes, show me your mean face!

0:14:19.440,0:14:21.158
(Sniggers)

0:14:21.200,0:14:25.716
That's good.[br]I mean, work on it a little bit, but it's good.

0:14:27.400,0:14:31.518
- Kenny, how long can you make it in there?[br]- I don't know.

0:14:31.560,0:14:33.790
Maybe five...

0:14:33.840,0:14:34.829
6.30.

0:14:37.640,0:14:40.279
Man, it's gotta be a little longer than that.

0:14:41.040,0:14:43.634
But... but we'll get you out, right, guys?

0:14:43.680,0:14:47.070
- Yeah, you're out. You're outta here.[br]- Free as a bird.

0:14:47.120,0:14:50.351
Number nine, time's up.

0:14:50.400,0:14:52.755
- Time's up, number nine.[br]- That's me.

0:14:58.000,0:14:59.956
I love you guys.

0:15:00.680,0:15:02.477
Have fun, Ken.

0:15:05.200,0:15:06.633
- He looked all right, man.[br]- They're gonna kill him in there, yo.

0:15:08.960,0:15:10.439
Hey, lady.

0:15:11.480,0:15:13.232
Miss, is this your purse?

0:15:13.280,0:15:15.510
- Yes.[br]- I'm sexy.

0:15:16.280,0:15:19.716
I'm a scholar. People like me.

0:15:20.200,0:15:23.237
Give it to me. Bye.

0:15:23.280,0:15:26.317
- Hey, where are you going?[br]- I'm leaving.

0:15:26.360,0:15:28.715
Well, can I leave with ya?

0:15:28.760,0:15:31.354
Follow me.

0:15:33.000,0:15:36.037
- And your name is?[br]- Mary Jane.

0:15:36.080,0:15:37.672
Really?

0:15:37.720,0:15:40.188
Yes. So what's up with this?

0:15:40.240,0:15:43.550
- Is that your work uniform?[br]- Nah, this is my costume.

0:15:43.600,0:15:46.910
Tomorrow I'll be a cowboy,[br]the day after that I'll be an Indian.

0:15:46.960,0:15:52.353
Every day of the week, I dress up like a[br]different Village Person. It's a thing I'm into.

0:15:52.400,0:15:54.550
No, I'm a custodian.

0:15:54.600,0:15:56.591
So, what are you here for?

0:15:56.640,0:15:59.598
- Possession of narcotics.[br]- Wow.

0:15:59.640,0:16:02.837
- My father's a drug dealer.[br]- That must've been the shit.

0:16:02.880,0:16:06.919
- It ruined his life.[br]- That must've been shitty.

0:16:06.960,0:16:09.554
I don't do drugs. Drugs make me sick.

0:16:09.600,0:16:12.797
They're bad for your body.[br]Up with hope, down with dope!

0:16:12.840,0:16:15.479
Thurgood, come on, man. We gotta go.

0:16:15.520,0:16:18.478
Get on the train.[br]Toke up before we go to work.

0:16:19.400,0:16:23.188
- Yo, let's go.[br]- What are you doing, man?

0:16:23.240,0:16:26.789
Bouncy. Body. Is that Prell?[br]Do you use Prell?

0:16:26.840,0:16:29.877
Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about!

0:16:31.920,0:16:34.718
Hey, guys, meet Mary Jane.

0:16:34.760,0:16:37.035
That's what he's sayin'.[br]We wanna burn one.

0:16:37.080,0:16:38.911
No, no.

0:16:38.960,0:16:40.951
This is Mary Jane.

0:16:41.000,0:16:43.992
Meet her. Say hello to her.[br]Shake her hand, even.

0:16:44.040,0:16:46.873
- Oh, dear, my fault. What's up?[br]- Hi.

0:16:46.920,0:16:49.753
- All right.[br]- Hey.

0:16:49.800,0:16:53.793
Do you guys need a ride? I have a car.[br]You don't have to take the subway.

0:16:55.200,0:17:00.194
- You smoke?[br]- No, my grandmother died of lung cancer.

0:17:00.240,0:17:04.118
- I'm sorry to hear that.[br]- All the more reason to toke up, man.

0:17:04.160,0:17:07.435
Ease the pain.[br]That's what I'm talkin' about.

0:17:09.400,0:17:14.190
You know, I think what they're really trying[br]to say is that we'd love a ride home.

0:17:14.240,0:17:16.276
Great.

0:17:16.319,0:17:18.435
- What's wrong?[br]- She look good!

0:17:18.480,0:17:22.951
- Mary Jane! What is that about, man?[br]- I hate y'all.

0:17:23.000,0:17:24.592
Shotgun!

0:17:27.240,0:17:31.074
- Thanks for this ride. We appreciate it.[br]- Sure.

0:17:32.160,0:17:36.073
Guys, shut up about the weed.[br]I don't want this girl to know I smoke.

0:17:36.120,0:17:39.795
- Yeah, it's bad enough you're a janitor, yo.[br]- Custodian, dick!

0:17:40.720,0:17:42.551
(Bleeping)

0:17:43.600,0:17:44.794
- Hey.[br]- Hey.

0:17:50.720,0:17:51.948
# It's the riddle of Rio

0:17:52.000,0:17:54.753
# Said I'm looking for brains,[br]good looks and skills

0:17:54.800,0:17:57.553
# Step on up if you think you fit the bill

0:17:57.600,0:18:00.194
# I know what you look like,[br]but looks can be deceivin'

0:18:00.240,0:18:02.959
# Let me tap the brain[br]so I can justify the reason

0:18:03.000,0:18:05.719
- # Yay[br]- # Mr Funk... #

0:18:05.760,0:18:09.912
- Is this good for you?[br]- Could you drop me in the lobby? Perfect.

0:18:09.960,0:18:14.909
She wanted me to say something. I had to[br]make my move while the guys were asleep.

0:18:14.960,0:18:19.112
I'm real bad at this, but you think[br]sometime we could get together,

0:18:19.160,0:18:21.879
maybe go out for some ice cream[br]or something?

0:18:21.920,0:18:23.512
Aggghhh-eee!

0:18:23.560,0:18:27.394
- Motherfucker said, "Ice cream"![br]- Ice cream!

0:18:27.440,0:18:29.635
- Damn.[br]- OK.

0:18:29.680,0:18:33.912
- All the boys in the car need to get out.[br]- Such a dork, man.

0:18:33.960,0:18:36.030
Thanks a lot, fellas.

0:18:37.000,0:18:39.150
- Thanks for the ride.[br]- Thurgood!

0:18:39.200,0:18:41.555
- I knew it.[br]- You forgot your hat.

0:18:42.080,0:18:44.230
I knew it.

0:18:44.280,0:18:48.831
You know, I mighta came on too strong[br]with the whole ice cream thing.

0:18:48.880,0:18:52.077
- Let me give you my number. Is that cool?[br]- OK.

0:18:52.120,0:18:57.399
Don't call too late cos you know[br]I be strippin' in the evenings! Joking!

0:18:59.080,0:19:02.311
- Here you go. You can call me any time.[br]- Maybe.

0:19:03.360,0:19:08.673
"Maybe" is acceptable. It's that "no" thing[br]that gets me. Maybe I'll hear from you.

0:19:08.720,0:19:10.711
- Bye.[br]- Be thinking about you.

0:19:14.920,0:19:18.151
Dr Koplesky,[br]please report to Clinical Studies.

0:19:18.200,0:19:20.350
- Dr Koplesky...[br]- Janitor?

0:19:20.400,0:19:22.630
- ... clinical studies.[br]- Uh, Janitor?

0:19:22.680,0:19:24.272
Ahhh!

0:19:24.320,0:19:27.915
- Sorry about that. What is it, scientist?[br]- Could you...

0:19:27.960,0:19:30.428
I know this isn't your responsibility,

0:19:30.480,0:19:33.995
but would you run this down[br]to the supply department for me?

0:19:34.040,0:19:36.349
- Second floor.[br]- Just run this down?

0:19:36.400,0:19:41.554
Yes. But make sure you bring the order[br]right back to me. I need it ASAP.

0:19:41.600,0:19:47.311
Gotcha. I know this isn't your responsibility,[br]but mop this shit up. I'll be right back.

0:19:49.520,0:19:53.069
(Sniffs) It smell like... It smell like...

0:19:53.120,0:19:57.238
No... (Sniffs) No... (Laughs)

0:19:57.280,0:19:59.271
I smell weed, man.

0:19:59.320,0:20:01.311
Hey, here you go.

0:20:01.360,0:20:03.396
(Sniffing)

0:20:03.440,0:20:06.512
- This all you need?[br]- I guess. I don't know.

0:20:07.440,0:20:09.635
- Just a sec.[br]- OK.

0:20:09.680,0:20:11.159
Damn.

0:20:12.720,0:20:17.316
Either someone's having a party[br]or somebody gotta do their shirt laundry.

0:20:18.000,0:20:23.233
Here you go. One pound of marijuana[br]and you can sign for it right here.

0:20:25.000,0:20:26.479
(Choking)

0:20:26.520,0:20:30.354
I sign for this and it's mine? And I take it?

0:20:35.960,0:20:37.757
Oh, yeah!

0:20:41.800,0:20:44.314
Thank you. Thank you very much.

0:20:45.720,0:20:47.995
Some good shit.

0:20:48.040,0:20:52.750
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

0:20:55.400,0:20:57.391
Look, here's...

0:20:57.440,0:21:00.989
Here's a... little something for your troubles.

0:21:02.400,0:21:04.789
- Thank you, thank you.[br]- Shhh.

0:21:04.840,0:21:08.549
- Let's not tell anyone about it, OK?[br]- Sure.

0:21:12.400,0:21:16.313
Why didn't you tell me you were into this?[br]We coulda been hanging out.

0:21:16.360,0:21:20.717
No, no, the Food and Drug Administration[br]are having us do a study

0:21:20.760,0:21:26.630
to determine what, if any,[br]are the medicinal purposes of marijuana.

0:21:26.680,0:21:28.830
Mmm. Wow.

0:21:28.880,0:21:31.519
If you ever need a guinea pig, let me know.

0:21:31.560,0:21:34.074
My grandpa[br]was in the Tuskegee experiments.

0:21:34.120,0:21:36.634
Oh, really?

0:21:36.680,0:21:39.319
Anyway, thank you, janitor. Enjoy.

0:21:39.360,0:21:42.238
Thank you, scientist. Got any papers?

0:21:45.800,0:21:49.395
No cocktail party would be complete[br]without the ice plant.

0:21:49.440,0:21:52.591
Hey, fellas, what's going on?

0:21:53.320,0:21:56.357
- Nothing, man.[br]- Bummin', thinking about Kenny.

0:21:56.400,0:21:58.391
Yeah.

0:21:59.440,0:22:02.398
I got some weed at work today[br]if y'all wanna try it out.

0:22:02.440,0:22:04.908
Nah, we don't feel like smokin' right now.

0:22:04.960,0:22:06.951
Me neither.

0:22:07.000,0:22:10.356
- Me neither.[br]- (TV) It belongs to the nicotine family

0:22:10.400,0:22:12.595
and we know it as the tobacco plant.

0:22:14.960,0:22:17.952
Well, here's a chap[br]contemplating a purchase...

0:22:18.000,0:22:21.151
- So y'all want to smoke?[br]- I'll get Billy Bong Thornton.

0:22:21.200,0:22:26.638
No, Scarface. No Billy Bong Thornton[br]without Kenny. That would not be right.

0:22:26.680,0:22:29.956
Use Wesley Pipes. Yeah!

0:22:34.320,0:22:38.791
They got a bunch of this stuff at work.[br]One of them scientists gave it to me.

0:22:39.480,0:22:43.951
Ain't tried the shit out yet,[br]but it smells like the bomb.

0:22:44.000,0:22:47.436
- All right![br]- Yeah, man, yeah.

0:22:47.480,0:22:50.472
- I'll do the honours.[br]- Please do.

0:23:04.760,0:23:09.709
Yo, this shit must be good, B. My man ain't[br]coughed like that since back in the day.

0:23:16.440,0:23:18.431
You sure I should do this, man?

0:23:21.360,0:23:24.158
Oh, yeah. That shit made my head hot.

0:23:24.200,0:23:26.031
Oh, man.

0:23:28.520,0:23:32.513
Pass it this way. Don't break the cipher.

0:23:32.560,0:23:36.553
Hold it. I gotta give the Guy some of this.[br]The Guy gotta taste this.

0:23:38.080,0:23:40.674
Hey, Guy. Hey, man.

0:23:41.760,0:23:44.479
Sorry to wake you, but you gotta try this.

0:23:48.000,0:23:49.991
(Cursory cough)

0:23:53.800,0:23:55.836
I'm taking it slow, man.

0:23:58.240,0:24:00.231
Hey, who's on munchies tonight?

0:24:00.280,0:24:03.158
We should make that lazy bitch,[br]the Guy, go.

0:24:03.200,0:24:07.113
For real. I don't know about y'all,[br]but I can't even move.

0:24:07.160,0:24:08.752
For real, B, right?

0:24:09.760,0:24:11.955
It's like I feel stuck here, yo.

0:24:13.000,0:24:14.797
Like I'm glued to the floor.

0:24:17.360,0:24:20.352
(# Tchaikovsky: Dance[br]of the Sugar Plum Fairy)

0:24:33.120,0:24:35.111
You guys feel like you're floating?

0:24:35.160,0:24:37.754
- Yeah.[br]- Yeah.

0:24:39.640,0:24:42.632
- Wanna go outside?[br]- Yeah.

0:24:54.560,0:24:59.714
I don't need to tell you this, but this weed[br]was the shiz-nittle-bam-snip-snap-sack!

0:25:03.960,0:25:05.916
Look at that!

0:25:05.960,0:25:09.669
Hey, you guys,[br]let's go check in on Kenny, huh?

0:25:13.960,0:25:16.872
(Kenny) You're not a fish, you're a man.

0:25:18.160,0:25:21.550
You're not a fish, you're a man.

0:25:21.600,0:25:23.033
(Sobs)

0:25:25.120,0:25:26.838
Where did that come from?

0:25:27.680,0:25:30.069
We really gotta get this guy outta jail.

0:25:30.600,0:25:35.390
You walk around on both legs,[br]homo erectus!

0:25:36.640,0:25:39.916
Did I say "homo"? I didn't mean that!

0:25:40.560,0:25:43.757
Thurgood! Thurgood!

0:25:46.520,0:25:49.512
I got it! I know how we could get Kenny out!

0:25:49.560,0:25:54.156
- How?[br]- Weed, man. We'll sell weed.

0:25:54.200,0:25:59.194
Man, you can't up and decide to sell weed.[br]You gotta know people to plug you into that.

0:25:59.240,0:26:01.071
- I do![br]- Who?

0:26:01.120,0:26:04.157
- You, yo.[br]- Me?

0:26:04.200,0:26:08.716
You think I can just walk in and take this[br]shit? I gotta get a form from a scientist.

0:26:08.760,0:26:13.356
Well, how hard can it be, man?[br]There's gotta be forms laying around.

0:26:13.400,0:26:16.472
I mean, they are scientists.

0:26:16.520,0:26:19.239
What the fuck are you talkin' about, man?

0:26:19.280,0:26:24.035
Look, I'm not stealing weed.[br]We are not selling weed.

0:26:24.080,0:26:28.676
- We are reasonably bright young men.[br]- Bully, man.

0:26:28.720,0:26:33.271
There has got to be a legitimate way[br]to come up with this money.

0:26:33.320,0:26:36.039
We just gotta think, that's all that is.

0:26:51.360,0:26:54.272
Wait, wait, I think I got an idea.

0:26:55.080,0:26:59.039
Why don't we sell that shit[br]we smoked the other night, yo?

0:26:59.080,0:27:02.072
- You suggested that already.[br]- For real, B?

0:27:02.120,0:27:06.033
- (Number unavailable tone)[br]- Marijuana affects the memory.

0:27:06.080,0:27:08.275
It won't take us hardly any time, B.

0:27:09.440,0:27:12.238
- Too risky, man.[br]- Stop being such a wuss, yo!

0:27:12.280,0:27:14.999
- What other choice do we have, right?[br]- Yeah.

0:27:15.720,0:27:17.597
OK, fine, we'll do it.

0:27:17.640,0:27:21.792
- Yeah.[br]- We'll do it till Kenny's out and we're done.

0:27:21.840,0:27:25.196
We're not drug dealers, we're fundraisers.

0:27:26.000,0:27:28.150
- Of course, B.[br]- Bully, man.

0:27:28.200,0:27:30.191
OK.

0:27:30.240,0:27:33.835
Scarface, lay it on me, brother.

0:27:34.400,0:27:36.868
Check it out, yo. It's like this...

0:27:36.920,0:27:39.115
Scarface's plan wasn't that bad.

0:27:40.320,0:27:42.311
- Good night, Mike.[br]- See you tomorrow.

0:27:42.360,0:27:44.351
Good night...

0:27:45.320,0:27:50.348
All I had to do was get forms from[br]that scientist that kept calling me janitor,

0:27:50.400,0:27:54.439
- forge one and put the order in like before.[br]- Thank you.

0:27:54.480,0:27:59.838
Then we scraped together our money and[br]bought bikes to help us move the product

0:27:59.880,0:28:04.271
and then stapled samples of our weed[br]on the back of our business cards.

0:28:04.320,0:28:08.996
We called the company Mr Nice Guy[br]in honour of our friend Kenny.

0:28:09.040,0:28:12.999
Hey, you guys believe in angels or...

0:28:13.040,0:28:15.998
Man, give me your fruit cocktail.

0:28:17.960,0:28:19.996
Well, I can't.

0:28:20.040,0:28:24.875
If I did that, then I'd have to give it to you[br]every day and I won't get all my vitamins.

0:28:24.920,0:28:28.390
- Do you know who you're dealing with?[br]- Chill, Nasty Nate.

0:28:28.440,0:28:34.197
He's my bitch. Anybody gonna stab him, it's[br]gonna be me. You got a problem with that?

0:28:38.600,0:28:42.388
Watch your back, fish. Squirrel Master[br]won't be there for you all the time.

0:28:42.440,0:28:46.513
Cos next time I come for you,[br]I'm gonna want some cocktail, fruit!

0:28:48.360,0:28:50.157
Take it.

0:28:53.520,0:28:55.988
I'm somebody's bitch.

0:28:59.720,0:29:04.191
You gotta do something. This guy,[br]Nasty Nate, is after my cocktail fruit.

0:29:04.240,0:29:09.314
Everyone here likes fresh fish, then the[br]Squirrel Master told me I'm his bitch and...

0:29:09.360,0:29:13.069
- Help![br]- Ken, listen, man. We got a plan.

0:29:13.120,0:29:17.830
- What is it?[br]- It's not honest. You might not like it.

0:29:17.880,0:29:21.509
- We gonna sell weed, yo.[br]- Yeah, great, weed, good, go.

0:29:21.560,0:29:23.949
- All right, man.[br]- Go!

0:29:25.080,0:29:27.548
No more window love. Go and sell it.

0:29:27.600,0:29:31.639
We figured the best way to spread the word[br]was to hit the streets...

0:29:31.680,0:29:33.671
and hit the streets we did.

0:29:34.360,0:29:36.749
# How y'all feel about Mary Jane?

0:29:36.800,0:29:40.156
# Y'all don't know about Mary Jane[br]# Mary Ja-ane

0:29:40.200,0:29:41.189
# She's my main thing

0:29:41.240,0:29:44.630
# Don't listen to what they say[br]Cos Mary never contrary

0:29:44.680,0:29:48.878
# Mary very very necessary extraordinary[br]Me and Mary to the mortuary

0:29:48.920,0:29:51.753
# Just one kiss on her sweet lips[br]and I become a visionary... #

0:29:53.080,0:29:55.071
Three for dinner. Ha, ha-ha!

0:29:55.120,0:29:57.554
Smoke that and get back to us.

0:29:57.600,0:29:59.989
Mr Nice Guy has arrived, baby.

0:30:00.040,0:30:01.758
He's on.

0:30:01.800,0:30:04.439
- All right![br]- # I'm in love with Mary Jane

0:30:04.480,0:30:05.708
# I'm not the only one...

0:30:05.760,0:30:08.797
- Oh, yes![br]- # Mary likes to play around...

0:30:08.840,0:30:10.990
Look at all these people, man!

0:30:11.040,0:30:14.396
All right, be quick.[br]Let's just do this and get out of here.

0:30:14.440,0:30:17.671
- Let's go.[br]- Let's go, man.

0:30:17.720,0:30:22.316
# Mary likes to spread her love[br]and turn my head around

0:30:22.360,0:30:24.510
# I'm in love with Mary Jane

0:30:24.560,0:30:26.869
# She's my main thing

0:30:26.920,0:30:31.550
# She make me feel all right[br]She make my heart sing...

0:30:31.600,0:30:34.478
- How did you guys make out?[br]- I'm out of cards.

0:30:34.520,0:30:37.910
- Me, too.[br]- That would make three of us.

0:30:38.800,0:30:42.873
All right. We did our part, right?[br]Let's just hope they smoke it.

0:30:47.080,0:30:50.629
# Do you love me, Mary Jane?[br]# Mary Ja-ane

0:30:51.840,0:30:55.276
# How do y'all feel about Mary Jane?[br]# Mary Ja-ane

0:30:55.320,0:30:56.912
# She's my main thing

0:30:56.960,0:30:58.473
# What do y'all know about Mary Jane...

0:30:58.520,0:31:01.114
- Damn, this weed is good![br]- Yeah!

0:31:01.920,0:31:04.559
# Y'all don't know about Mary Jane[br]# Mary Ja-ane

0:31:04.800,0:31:06.677
# She make my heart sing...

0:31:08.640,0:31:10.232
# Mary Ja-ane... #

0:31:10.280,0:31:12.271
(Phone rings)

0:31:14.440,0:31:16.590
We are in business, man.

0:31:21.520,0:31:25.115
- Mr Nice Guy.[br]- Oh, I may have the wrong number.

0:31:25.160,0:31:29.358
- Um, is Thurgood around?[br]- Speaking.

0:31:29.400,0:31:34.110
Hey, it's Mary Jane. Do you remember[br]I gave you a ride home from prison?

0:31:34.160,0:31:39.553
Well, could you be a little more specific?[br]I get so many rides home from prison.

0:31:39.600,0:31:44.674
That was a joke. What happened?[br]I didn't think you were gonna call me.

0:31:44.720,0:31:49.794
I wasn't, but then I decided[br]I don't care what my friends think.

0:31:49.840,0:31:52.752
See, that was a joke. Get it? A little joke.

0:31:52.800,0:31:56.509
(Whispers) Not funny.[br]So, you wanna get together?

0:31:56.560,0:32:00.030
OK, sure. When?

0:32:00.080,0:32:04.153
How about right now?[br]Meet me at the place you dropped us off at.

0:32:04.200,0:32:07.556
OK. Can you give me half an hour?

0:32:07.600,0:32:11.070
- Yeah, half an hour's cool.[br]- Great. I'll see you there.

0:32:11.120,0:32:13.270
OK.

0:32:13.320,0:32:15.709
- Bye.[br]- Bye-bye.

0:32:15.760,0:32:17.591
(Dialling tone)

0:32:19.680,0:32:20.829
Ha, ha, ha-ha!

0:32:21.040,0:32:23.395
Ha, ha, ha-ha!

0:32:23.440,0:32:27.592
- I've got a date with Mary Jane! Yes![br]- Word, yo!

0:32:27.640,0:32:31.030
- All right, man.[br]- Y'all got money?

0:32:32.160,0:32:36.870
The date couldn't have come[br]at a worse time, man. I was flat broke.

0:32:36.920,0:32:39.912
All my money was tied up[br]in our drug-dealing venture.

0:32:39.960,0:32:45.353
I only had eight bucks. This was gonna take[br]some careful budgeting and manoeuvring.

0:32:45.400,0:32:47.231
Watch the master at work.

0:32:47.280,0:32:49.919
- You look great, wonderful.[br]- Thank you.

0:32:49.960,0:32:55.193
You know what? I was thinking,[br]it's so nice out, wanna go for a walk?

0:32:55.240,0:32:59.711
- Yeah, sure. We can go for a walk.[br]- Good, good. Let's.

0:32:59.760,0:33:02.672
- So far, so good.[br]- (Cash register dings)

0:33:02.720,0:33:07.714
Three hours and 14 miles later,[br]I hadn't spent one penny.

0:33:07.760,0:33:11.548
Damn, I was good! And then it happened.

0:33:11.600,0:33:15.559
I'm hungry too.[br]Hey, you wanna eat at the Happy Palace?

0:33:15.600,0:33:19.991
- How about a hot dog, huh? Hey, what luck![br]- Hot dog.

0:33:20.040,0:33:24.989
- Hey, what can I get you?[br]- A hot dog with ketchup and sauerkraut.

0:33:25.040,0:33:27.634
- Sauerkraut's 50 cents extra.[br]- Damn!

0:33:27.680,0:33:30.672
I have not had a hot dog in so long.

0:33:30.720,0:33:33.598
- Let's get outta here.[br]- (Vendor) Anything to drink?

0:33:33.640,0:33:36.632
- Son of a bitch![br]- Could I have a Pepsi, please?

0:33:37.440,0:33:40.637
- Anything for you, sir?[br]- No. I'm fine. Thank you.

0:33:40.680,0:33:44.070
- Greedy bastard![br]- You promised me ice cream the other day.

0:33:44.120,0:33:47.396
I know a really good place uptown.

0:33:47.440,0:33:50.034
Great. Let's hoof it.

0:33:50.080,0:33:53.834
Um, would you mind if we take a cab[br]this time?

0:33:53.880,0:33:55.472
Sure.

0:34:01.040,0:34:04.715
- Thanks a lot, buddy(!)[br]- You should be happy with the tip!

0:34:04.760,0:34:08.230
- You should be kissing my ass.[br]- You guys are greedy.

0:34:08.280,0:34:11.670
- Best ice cream in town.[br]- Spare change for some food?

0:34:13.280,0:34:15.873
- Don't mind if I do.[br]- Thanks, brother.

0:34:15.920,0:34:18.672
No, thank you.

0:34:21.000,0:34:22.558
(Cash register dings)

0:34:22.600,0:34:25.512
Yeah, I mean, I do miss my dad.

0:34:26.560,0:34:29.279
But he deserves to be where he is.

0:34:30.320,0:34:32.993
Drug dealers belong in jail.

0:34:33.040,0:34:36.237
Yeah. Yeah, wow. Yeah.

0:34:36.280,0:34:40.478
- Um, how long has he been in there?[br]- Four years, next month.

0:34:40.520,0:34:44.991
- Four years. What exactly was he selling?[br]- Marijuana.

0:34:45.040,0:34:47.998
Four years just for weed?! Damn!

0:34:48.040,0:34:50.507
Just? No, no, no, no. Not just.

0:34:50.560,0:34:55.759
Marijuana is terrible. It's a gateway drug.[br]Everybody knows it leads to other stuff.

0:34:55.800,0:34:58.268
Yeah, mostly junk food. (Laughs)

0:35:00.280,0:35:02.271
You don't smoke weed, do you?

0:35:03.920,0:35:09.836
Come on, Mary Jane. I mean, do I look like[br]somebody that would smoke marijuana?

0:35:10.720,0:35:14.269
- So you swear you don't.[br]- Yeah, sure.

0:35:14.320,0:35:19.075
OK, well, swear on this banana split[br]that you don't do marijuana.

0:35:19.120,0:35:21.873
What? Oh, my...

0:35:21.920,0:35:24.229
Do you swear?

0:35:25.840,0:35:28.593
Yes, Mary Jane, I swear...

0:35:28.640,0:35:31.598
That you got pretty eyes!

0:35:31.640,0:35:33.437
That's good.

0:35:35.000,0:35:36.797
That's real good.

0:35:36.840,0:35:39.638
I got some booty. I got some booty.

0:35:39.680,0:35:42.990
I got some booty. It was really good, too.

0:35:43.040,0:35:46.077
She was a giver, a caring nurturer.

0:35:46.120,0:35:50.750
She held me in her arms and it was like[br]I was 15 years old all over again.

0:35:50.800,0:35:53.519
- I was hooked on Mary Jane.[br]- (Phone ringing)

0:35:54.280,0:35:58.068
The next day, the phones blew up[br]like we were having a fuckin' telethon!

0:35:58.120,0:36:01.908
Everybody in New York was calling[br]to get down with Mr Nice Guy.

0:36:01.960,0:36:04.997
We met all kinds of customers,[br]like this guy here.

0:36:05.040,0:36:07.190
He's what we call an enhancement smoker.

0:36:07.240,0:36:10.994
He thinks marijuana[br]makes every activity that much better.

0:36:11.040,0:36:13.349
- Mi casa su casa.[br]- Observe.

0:36:13.400,0:36:17.279
You're Scarface, right?[br]I love Al Pacino, man.

0:36:17.320,0:36:20.312
- Did you ever see Scent Of A Woman?[br]- Yep.

0:36:21.680,0:36:24.194
Have you ever seen Scent Of A Woman

0:36:24.240,0:36:26.595
on weed?

0:36:26.640,0:36:31.475
That's the way to see it, man![br]It's just whacked! Pow!

0:36:32.760,0:36:36.070
- 60 bucks, yo.[br]- That's cool, man.

0:36:36.120,0:36:38.111
I got it, I got it.

0:36:40.680,0:36:45.037
- Did you ever see the back of a $20 bill?[br]- No, I don't know, yo.

0:36:45.080,0:36:47.719
Did you ever see the back of a $20 bill...

0:36:47.760,0:36:48.875
on weed?

0:36:48.920,0:36:53.436
Some weird shit in there. A dude sitting[br]in the bushes. Does he have a gun?

0:36:53.480,0:36:58.076
I don't know, man! What? What?[br]Red team, go! Red team, go!

0:36:58.120,0:37:02.113
- Just some weird shit, man.[br]- You're fucking crazy, yo. Take your shit.

0:37:02.160,0:37:05.152
That's cool. Thanks, man. Hey, yo, wait.

0:37:05.200,0:37:07.316
Dude, I'm gonna check out the stars later.

0:37:07.360,0:37:11.672
It's really trippy. Especially on weed, man.

0:37:11.720,0:37:15.110
A scavenger smoker[br]never has weed of their own.

0:37:15.160,0:37:18.038
As soon as you smoke it, here they come.

0:37:18.080,0:37:20.469
- Damn![br]- What up?

0:37:20.520,0:37:23.432
What's up, dogs? Let me get in here.[br]What y'all doing?

0:37:23.480,0:37:26.233
Nothin'. Just chilling.

0:37:26.280,0:37:29.113
I smell it. Let me inhale it.[br]Let me have some.

0:37:29.160,0:37:34.996
All right, man. Just one hit, you scavenger.[br]Always come around.

0:37:41.200,0:37:43.919
Can't even smoke weed in peace.

0:37:45.360,0:37:50.593
- I ain't even into the motherfucker yet.[br]- You know we sell this? Did you know that?

0:37:51.600,0:37:55.309
It's too bad, man.[br]I just stopped smoking yesterday.

0:37:59.080,0:38:02.675
I'm gonna get up outta here.[br]Nice seeing y'all.

0:38:02.720,0:38:04.790
Yeah...

0:38:04.840,0:38:07.638
Then there's[br]the "You Should've Been There" smoker.

0:38:07.680,0:38:11.070
Love talking about the old days[br]back when weed was grass.

0:38:11.120,0:38:14.078
In the '60s,[br]we were smoking shit on the street.

0:38:14.120,0:38:18.159
Cops didn't say nothing. They was[br]getting high, too. Everybody did it.

0:38:18.200,0:38:22.432
It wasn't the thing to do because it was[br]the thing to do, but because it got you high.

0:38:22.480,0:38:26.598
- Can you dig?[br]- I feel ya. That's why I'm doing it. I feel it.

0:38:27.280,0:38:33.150
Man, you're cool as shit, mister. I hate to do[br]it, but I gotta charge you. That's 60 bucks.

0:38:33.200,0:38:36.158
- 60 bucks?[br]- Yeah.

0:38:36.200,0:38:40.398
Man, I remember when a dime bag cost[br]a dime, you know what I mean?

0:38:41.440,0:38:44.830
- You know how much condoms cost then?[br]- How much?

0:38:44.880,0:38:47.633
I don't know. We never used 'em.

0:38:47.680,0:38:50.513
We call this kid[br]the After School Special smoker.

0:38:50.560,0:38:55.554
He spends all of his allowance on reefer.[br]Thanks, little buddy.

0:38:55.600,0:38:58.990
In the next room, his father,[br]an "I'm 40, But Still Cool"smoker,

0:38:59.040,0:39:02.999
is toking up, trying to figure out a way[br]to bond with his son.

0:39:03.040,0:39:05.634
Isn't that ironic, don't you think?

0:39:07.160,0:39:10.470
Across town, the kid's nana's smoking[br]to ease her glaucoma.

0:39:10.520,0:39:13.592
And it's good for arthritis, too.

0:39:13.640,0:39:16.712
We made over 20 grand that first week,[br]man.

0:39:16.760,0:39:20.799
Because we were stealing the weed,[br]not buying it, it was all profit.

0:39:20.840,0:39:26.995
But if we were gonna save Kenny, we had[br]to deliver full-time. Scarface quit his job.

0:39:27.040,0:39:29.759
Still waiting on that Heifer, Julio.

0:39:32.280,0:39:34.350
Fuck you. Fuck you.

0:39:34.400,0:39:36.675
Fuck you. You're cool.

0:39:37.320,0:39:40.039
- And fuck you. I'm out![br]- (Feedback whistles)

0:39:42.240,0:39:46.028
Brian was gonna quit,[br]but they fired him before he could.

0:39:54.240,0:39:56.071
Don't worry.

0:39:56.520,0:39:58.875
Don't worry.

0:39:58.920,0:40:02.276
I'm not gonna do what everyone thinks[br]I'm gonna do...

0:40:03.160,0:40:05.469
Flip out, man!

0:40:05.520,0:40:07.351
All I wanna know is...

0:40:08.400,0:40:10.152
who's coming with me?

0:40:12.920,0:40:15.832
Who's coming, man?[br]Who's coming with me?

0:40:15.880,0:40:18.030
Huh?

0:40:18.080,0:40:20.913
Who's coming with me, man?

0:40:21.760,0:40:23.318
I will.

0:40:24.040,0:40:25.871
Jan.

0:40:25.920,0:40:29.674
Thank you, Jan. Yeah!

0:40:32.280,0:40:36.751
That's what I'm talking about![br]Bully, man! Yeah!

0:40:42.640,0:40:44.631
Oh, Jan,

0:40:44.680,0:40:47.194
will you be my girlfriend?

0:40:47.240,0:40:49.231
I would, um...

0:40:49.280,0:40:51.555
- but I'm gay, you know?[br]- Ah.

0:40:51.600,0:40:54.910
- I'm a big dyke.[br]- What's that like?

0:40:54.960,0:40:57.758
Thank you for calling. Thank you. Bye-bye.

0:40:57.800,0:41:02.396
We had to hire Jan cos she followed Brian,[br]but it actually worked out.

0:41:02.440,0:41:07.673
She was more organised than we were[br]and she was willing to work for weed.

0:41:09.320,0:41:11.470
Mr Nice Guy was blowing up, man.

0:41:11.520,0:41:15.911
We got customers from all over New York.[br]We even stole a few from Samson.

0:41:15.960,0:41:19.873
What's up, nigger? Come on in, man.[br]Come on, weed man.

0:41:20.600,0:41:24.718
Thanks, baby.[br]Get on. Beat it. You're scaring him.

0:41:24.760,0:41:26.318
Yeah...

0:41:26.360,0:41:28.430
Sir Smoka Lot...

0:41:28.480,0:41:31.677
- What can I get you today, Smoka Lot?[br]- Love weed.

0:41:31.720,0:41:36.874
- Let me get a pound of your sweetest chiba.[br]- Something told me to bring a lot of weed!

0:41:36.920,0:41:38.433
Aw, shit.

0:41:39.480,0:41:43.075
A pound of my sweetest chiba.[br]Don't get no better than that.

0:41:43.120,0:41:47.511
- Can smell it through the bag, baby.[br]- That's gonna be 9,600 bucks, bro.

0:41:47.560,0:41:50.154
Let's see what I got here.

0:41:52.400,0:41:57.190
Come on, hang out. Smoke with me.[br]I got weed, got my bong out. Come on.

0:41:57.840,0:42:03.233
For you, man, I'll stay for a minute,[br]but then I gotta be... gotta be going.

0:42:04.360,0:42:06.078
I understand.

0:42:06.120,0:42:11.114
Man, Smoka Lot opened up to me like[br]I was Barbara Walters. It was ridiculous.

0:42:11.160,0:42:15.472
- He told me about his lawyer...[br]- He had sex with my mama! Why?

0:42:15.520,0:42:19.718
- ... his spirituality...[br]- God, if you listenin', help!

0:42:19.760,0:42:22.274
- ... his bad back...[br]- Doctor said I need a backeotomy.

0:42:22.320,0:42:26.029
- ... his love life.[br]- I'm impotent! Get away from me, bitch!

0:42:26.080,0:42:29.152
- Talk about a guy with problems.[br]- Tough break.

0:42:29.200,0:42:33.034
- I can't take it no more.[br]- No wonder he smokes a pound a week.

0:42:33.080,0:42:34.274
Somebody wanna?

0:42:34.320,0:42:38.677
- So now we had a famous clientele and...[br]- Green-eyes gonna miss ya!

0:42:38.720,0:42:42.679
- And guess what else?[br]- Call me next week. About weed.

0:42:42.720,0:42:46.030
I got more booty! I got more booty!

0:42:46.080,0:42:50.790
I don't mean to rub it in, folks,[br]but it's just that I liked this so much.

0:42:50.840,0:42:54.753
When I was with her,[br]I didn't think about weed. Didn't have to.

0:42:54.800,0:42:59.396
- Bye.[br]- She was all the Mary Jane I needed.

0:42:59.440,0:43:01.749
# When I was young

0:43:01.800,0:43:04.872
# I never needed anyone

0:43:05.720,0:43:08.837
# And makin' love was just for fun

0:43:09.800,0:43:12.155
# Those days are gone

0:43:12.440,0:43:14.908
(# Mimics slow drumroll)

0:43:14.960,0:43:19.715
# (Screeching) All by-y my-self

0:43:20.200,0:43:22.111
(Resounding thud)

0:43:28.840,0:43:31.434
- (# Shark-approach theme from Jaws)[br]- (Shrieks)

0:43:33.800,0:43:37.509
What did I tell you, Nate?[br]Come on, come on.

0:43:38.560,0:43:41.199
Come on. Come on, Nate.

0:43:42.560,0:43:44.869
- He had to stay vigilant.[br]- Wash off your...

0:43:44.920,0:43:47.992
Kenny's butt-hole was in constant jeopardy.

0:43:48.040,0:43:52.397
- But we were making money.[br]- Hey, what's up, mates?

0:43:52.440,0:43:55.193
- What's up, boy?[br]- Nada. Just chilling.

0:43:56.120,0:43:59.556
Hey, guys,[br]why is there a dog biting the Guy?

0:43:59.600,0:44:04.594
- Cos I bought a dog, B.[br]- You bought a dog? For how much?

0:44:04.640,0:44:09.794
It's cool, yo. He's used.[br]Including the house, it was only 250, yo.

0:44:09.840,0:44:12.274
You spent $250 on a used dog?

0:44:12.320,0:44:14.993
And a dog house.[br]Brian bought something, too.

0:44:15.040,0:44:19.989
For $400,[br]I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man.

0:44:20.040,0:44:23.999
- Who the hell told you that?[br]- The guy who sold it to me. Barry Garcia.

0:44:24.040,0:44:27.032
- Is he supposed to be Jerry's brother?[br]- No.

0:44:27.080,0:44:30.516
Actually, it's Andy Garcia's brother.

0:44:30.560,0:44:35.998
Why the hell are you guys spendin' money?[br]We're not drug dealers, we're fundraisers.

0:44:36.040,0:44:39.635
You said you gave Mary Jane[br]a pearl necklace.

0:44:39.680,0:44:42.148
- How much did that cost, man?[br]- Ah.

0:44:42.200,0:44:47.194
Obviously, you missed the point of that[br]story. Come on, guys, return this shit.

0:44:47.240,0:44:50.835
- We can't, yo.[br]- Why am I telling Mary Jane I've no money?

0:44:50.880,0:44:55.670
- Cos you're a fibber.[br]- No, because we don't have any money.

0:44:55.720,0:44:57.756
The money we have is not for spending,

0:44:57.800,0:45:02.430
it's for saving Kenny's sweet virgin ass,[br]man!

0:45:02.480,0:45:06.519
If you guys spend one more dime,[br]I swear I will bitch-slap you!

0:45:07.880,0:45:09.677
Gimme that.

0:45:11.160,0:45:13.151
Sorry for yelling

0:45:13.200,0:45:15.316
but I'm serious.

0:45:15.360,0:45:21.435
We gotta start being more responsible[br]and focused, all right? Let's be sharp.

0:45:21.480,0:45:24.916
- (Growling)[br]- Scarface, your dog is mean, man.

0:45:24.960,0:45:26.951
I know, all right.

0:45:27.000,0:45:30.117
Somebody gotta do something[br]about this shit right now.

0:45:30.160,0:45:31.912
Come here, doggie.

0:45:31.960,0:45:34.474
- (Growling)[br]- Hey, little fella. Smell it.

0:45:34.520,0:45:37.512
Hey! Smell it. OK, all right.

0:45:39.400,0:45:41.550
- Good boy.[br]- (Whimper)

0:45:41.600,0:45:44.478
He likes it! He loves it, man.

0:45:44.520,0:45:47.956
- Of course he loves it.[br]- Your paws are tingling, aren't they?

0:45:48.000,0:45:50.036
- (Panting)[br]- Now you're one of us.

0:45:50.080,0:45:52.514
- (Snarl)[br]- Hey. All right.

0:45:52.560,0:45:54.551
Get it, Killer.

0:45:54.600,0:45:59.833
- (Sniggering) He likes it, yo.[br]- Yeah, man, he really likes it.

0:45:59.880,0:46:02.713
- Look at him, man.[br]- Good for you, man.

0:46:02.760,0:46:05.479
- What did you guys do to him?[br]- Nothing.

0:46:05.520,0:46:08.990
Killer, kill! Killer, kill, yo!

0:46:09.840,0:46:11.592
(Barking)

0:46:16.160,0:46:18.958
This weed is fantastic!

0:46:23.200,0:46:29.070
We kept delivering the weed and meeting[br]different kinds of smokers, like this lady,

0:46:29.120,0:46:31.588
an "I'm Only Creative If I Smoke"smoker.

0:46:31.640,0:46:36.589
She believes weed, and only weed,[br]brings out the artist in her.

0:46:36.640,0:46:39.313
- Like to hear my poetry?[br]- Not really.

0:46:39.360,0:46:41.351
You really should.

0:46:43.160,0:46:45.754
I have killed, I have helped kill

0:46:46.920,0:46:52.313
I have killed part of myself,[br]I cannot change this, I

0:46:52.360,0:46:55.989
I must seek Buddha. I must seek Christ

0:46:57.440,0:47:02.070
You must seek therapy. That's what[br]I would go with, but that's my own...

0:47:02.120,0:47:06.079
The MacGyver smoker[br]is a very handy guy to have around,

0:47:06.120,0:47:08.839
especially when it comes to reefer.

0:47:10.000,0:47:15.074
- Hey, man, we're out of papers.[br]- Get a toilet roll, a corkscrew and tinfoil.

0:47:15.120,0:47:17.429
We don't have a corkscrew.

0:47:17.480,0:47:21.519
All right. Then get me[br]an avocado, an ice pick and my snorkel.

0:47:22.400,0:47:25.119
Trust me, bro. I've made bongs with less.[br]Hurry up!

0:47:25.160,0:47:30.598
Then you got straight-up potheads. You[br]can spot them by their lack of motivation,

0:47:30.640,0:47:35.350
mood swings, forgetfulness and, of course,[br]the dreaded low sperm count.

0:47:35.400,0:47:38.153
I don't know which category we fall into,

0:47:38.200,0:47:41.954
but I'll tell you this,[br]we ain't goddamn potheads!

0:47:44.760,0:47:45.749
Shit.

0:47:46.000,0:47:48.070
Then you have the avid non-smoker.

0:47:48.120,0:47:51.908
Often they'll get your number accidentally[br]from one of their girlfriends,

0:47:51.960,0:47:54.713
call with an order,[br]knowing they don't smoke weed,

0:47:54.760,0:47:57.115
and request that you deliver it.

0:47:57.160,0:48:01.631
Then when you get there,[br]they're all mad that it's you sellin' weed.

0:48:02.600,0:48:05.990
You smoke weed?[br]At last we can share everything!

0:48:06.040,0:48:08.998
Get off me, you lying son of a bitch!

0:48:09.040,0:48:12.589
- What is this?[br]- Looks like some sort of a business card.

0:48:12.640,0:48:16.189
Yeah, with your number on it.[br]I can't believe this.

0:48:16.240,0:48:20.074
I can't believe I fell for[br]another one of you lowlife assholes!

0:48:20.120,0:48:21.917
God, what is wrong with me?

0:48:21.960,0:48:25.635
Hey, Mary Jane,[br]I can explain everything, all right?

0:48:26.600,0:48:29.831
- Goodbye, Thurgood.[br]- Hold up. Hey, Mary Jane.

0:48:29.880,0:48:35.557
The only reason I lied to you was because[br]I like you and I wanted to be with you.

0:48:37.400,0:48:39.197
Mary Jane.

0:48:39.240,0:48:42.232
(# Knight Rider theme)

0:48:50.360,0:48:53.909
Knight Rider, a shadowy flight[br]into the dangerous world

0:48:53.960,0:48:57.270
of a man who does not exist.

0:49:00.040,0:49:04.238
- Thurgood, why the long face, man?[br]- Mary Jane dumped me.

0:49:04.280,0:49:08.796
- Quiet down, yo. Sir Smoka Lot's on TV.[br]- Cecil?

0:49:08.840,0:49:14.119
# When life is hard, I pick up that card with[br]the smiley face, call him over to my place...

0:49:14.160,0:49:16.151
Oh, damn it!

0:49:20.120,0:49:21.519
# And it gets you high... #

0:49:21.560,0:49:24.199
That's when things started going wrong.

0:49:25.000,0:49:29.198
Samson, looks like somebody[br]is cutting into your business, baby.

0:49:29.240,0:49:33.233
- Shit.[br]- Do you like what you see, Samson?

0:49:33.280,0:49:36.113
Do I look like I like what I see?

0:49:36.160,0:49:38.958
Who is this Mr Nice Guy?

0:49:39.000,0:49:44.074
- I'd imagine he's some sort of drug dealer.[br]- Go get me this Mr Nice Guy.

0:49:44.120,0:49:47.476
I wanna sit him down[br]and ask him some questions.

0:49:51.400,0:49:53.516
- Hey, Squirrel Master.[br]- Kenny.

0:49:54.880,0:50:00.910
Listen, I... just wanted to say thank you[br]for protecting me back there.

0:50:00.960,0:50:04.748
- We didn't mind, did we, Fuzzy Nuts?[br]- (Squeaking)

0:50:04.800,0:50:08.998
I hope there's some way I can pay you back[br]when we get on the outside.

0:50:09.040,0:50:13.431
- Better hurry up cos I get out in 11 days.[br]- Is that right?

0:50:13.480,0:50:16.153
(# Jaws theme)

0:50:18.600,0:50:22.354
Kenny, 11 days?[br]That seems a little stiff, man.

0:50:22.400,0:50:25.756
11 days, Thurgood.[br]I'm as good as skewered.

0:50:25.800,0:50:29.156
Ever take your clothes off[br]and run backwards through a cornfield?

0:50:29.200,0:50:30.792
Oof...

0:50:30.840,0:50:35.072
Hurry, Thurgood, I'm counting on you, man.[br]Please! Please!

0:50:35.120,0:50:39.159
11 days didn't give us much time.[br]We really had to hustle.

0:50:39.200,0:50:41.555
That meant taking on new customers.

0:50:41.600,0:50:44.831
(# Piano flourish)

0:50:49.080,0:50:53.039
(Air whistling)

0:50:56.520,0:50:58.875
Damn, B, I been set up.

0:51:02.320,0:51:07.713
We'll get back to that, but meanwhile[br]I hadn't seen Mary Jane in, like, a week.

0:51:07.760,0:51:10.911
I couldn't stop thinking about her, man.[br]I missed her.

0:51:10.960,0:51:15.750
I started thinking about the fact that she was[br]the only girl I'd slept with in five years.

0:51:15.800,0:51:18.633
Then I thought about the girl I slept with[br]before her.

0:51:18.680,0:51:20.432
(# Horror-movie jingle)

0:51:20.480,0:51:22.994
I had to get Mary Jane back.

0:51:23.040,0:51:25.031
(Knock)

0:51:26.120,0:51:29.510
- What do you want?[br]- I want you back, Mary Jane.

0:51:30.560,0:51:34.712
I miss you.[br]I'll do whatever it takes to get you back.

0:51:35.960,0:51:41.353
I can't quit selling it yet,[br]but I'll quit smoking it. I'll change for you.

0:51:41.400,0:51:47.077
- Heard that before.[br]- Said that before, but this time I mean it.

0:51:47.120,0:51:52.035
I'm gonna come back, I'm gonna be clean,[br]sober. No more weed, no more nothing.

0:51:52.080,0:51:56.631
Mary Jane, you'll see. I'll be back.[br]I'll be a changed man.

0:51:56.680,0:51:59.399
There's a new Thurgood Jenkins today!

0:52:00.640,0:52:03.108
I love you.

0:52:03.160,0:52:05.833
Man, that first day of sobriety sucked.

0:52:05.880,0:52:10.749
I realised something. I was an irritable guy[br]when I wasn't smoking marijuana.

0:52:10.800,0:52:15.828
I couldn't stop thinking about getting high[br]so I decided It was time to get help.

0:52:15.880,0:52:20.908
- Hi, everyone, my name is Thurgood.[br]- (All) Hi, Thurgood.

0:52:22.000,0:52:23.558
Hi.

0:52:23.600,0:52:27.912
I'm here today because[br]I'm addicted... to marijuana.

0:52:27.960,0:52:29.916
(Groans of disapproval)

0:52:29.960,0:52:33.555
You in here because of marijuana?[br]Marijuana?!

0:52:34.200,0:52:36.270
Man, this is some bullshit!

0:52:36.320,0:52:40.154
Marijuana is not a drug.[br]I used to suck dick for coke.

0:52:40.200,0:52:41.872
- (Man) I seen him![br]- Damn!

0:52:41.920,0:52:44.957
That's an addiction.[br]Ever suck dick for marijuana?

0:52:45.000,0:52:46.956
Huh?

0:52:48.240,0:52:51.835
- No, no, I can't say I have.[br]- I didn't think so.

0:52:51.880,0:52:54.678
- Boo this man![br]- (All) Boo!

0:53:04.080,0:53:07.152
No! No!

0:53:08.840,0:53:11.115
No!

0:53:11.160,0:53:13.435
Devil man.

0:53:13.480,0:53:17.029
Devil... 666. The mark of the beast!

0:53:17.080,0:53:19.469
No! Naughty!

0:53:20.280,0:53:22.555
Naughty jungle of love!

0:53:24.960,0:53:28.396
- The man is serious, B.[br]- Calm down. How serious can he be?

0:53:28.440,0:53:31.432
He wants to see Mr Nice Guy. He told me.

0:53:31.480,0:53:33.596
(# Psycho theme)

0:53:35.560,0:53:37.152
Oh, man.

0:53:39.560,0:53:41.755
No, yo!

0:53:41.800,0:53:43.791
They killed Killer, B.

0:53:44.920,0:53:47.275
Yo, Samson did this, man.

0:53:48.280,0:53:50.271
Yo, he killed Killer, man.

0:53:51.280,0:53:53.999
- Hey.[br]- He killed...

0:53:54.040,0:53:56.508
I'm gonna call Brian.

0:53:56.560,0:54:00.439
Let's just give him a proper burial, all right?[br]I'm sorry, man.

0:54:01.920,0:54:03.638
- Jesus Christ.[br]- (Thump)

0:54:03.680,0:54:09.118
- Watch it, man! You stepped on his head![br]- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't even see him.

0:54:09.160,0:54:12.152
(# The Last Post)

0:54:42.200,0:54:45.476
I gotta smoke. I have got to smoke.

0:54:46.720,0:54:51.555
- What happened, man?[br]- You wanna know? I'll tell you.

0:54:51.600,0:54:54.831
Samson and his girls came rolling up[br]looking for me.

0:54:54.880,0:54:58.077
They said they'd mess me up[br]if I didn't bring them Mr Nice Guy.

0:54:58.120,0:55:03.114
They probably roughed the Guy up, then[br]started going to war with the apartment.

0:55:03.160,0:55:08.871
They had nunchucks, bolos, they be doing[br]Indian burns and Killer paid the price, yo.

0:55:08.920,0:55:13.994
He got the wrath.[br]He got the wrath of the nunchucks, yo.

0:55:15.000,0:55:19.551
- I think it's more complex than that.[br]- More complex than that?

0:55:19.600,0:55:22.319
You know what I think happened?

0:55:22.360,0:55:24.590
You want to hear what I think, man?

0:55:27.320,0:55:31.108
First of all, to understand[br]what happened to Killer,

0:55:31.160,0:55:35.119
you gotta understand[br]who Killer the dog was.

0:55:35.160,0:55:38.755
Now, Killer was born[br]to a three-legged bitch of a mother.

0:55:38.800,0:55:41.439
He was always ashamed of this, man.

0:55:41.480,0:55:46.156
And right after that,[br]he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz.

0:55:46.200,0:55:50.955
He's a small-time gunrunner[br]and Rottweiler fight promoter.

0:55:51.000,0:55:56.711
So he puts Killer into training.[br]They see Killer's good. He is damn good.

0:55:56.760,0:56:00.548
But then he had the fight of his life.

0:56:00.600,0:56:03.876
They pit him against his brother, Nibbles.

0:56:03.920,0:56:09.392
Killer said, "No, that's my brother. I can't[br]fight Nibbles!" He made 'em fight anyway.

0:56:10.520,0:56:14.069
And then Killer, he killed Nibbles.

0:56:14.120,0:56:16.793
And Killer said, "That's it."

0:56:16.840,0:56:22.233
He called off all his fights and he started[br]doing crack and he freaked out.

0:56:22.280,0:56:24.748
And then, in a rage...

0:56:24.800,0:56:26.711
he collapsed

0:56:26.760,0:56:28.557
and his heart...

0:56:29.600,0:56:31.591
no longer beat.

0:56:32.800,0:56:34.870
Wow.

0:56:35.440,0:56:39.433
You know, I never thought[br]I'd say this to anybody,

0:56:39.480,0:56:43.553
but you two smoke entirely too much reefer.

0:56:43.600,0:56:46.797
What if the Guy did it?

0:56:46.840,0:56:48.831
No way. You think?

0:56:55.240,0:56:58.277
Yo, the Guy, did you kill my dog?

0:57:03.080,0:57:06.072
I believe him, yo. I don't know why, but I do.

0:57:07.800,0:57:09.870
(Phone)

0:57:10.920,0:57:12.638
Samson did this shit, yo.

0:57:16.360,0:57:20.876
- Mr Nice Guy, Party Accessories.[br]- Did you get my message?

0:57:20.920,0:57:24.913
- Who is this?[br]- This is Samson, smarty-pants!

0:57:24.960,0:57:27.679
(Changes voice) Operator. It's your sister.

0:57:27.720,0:57:32.111
- (High-pitched voice) Samson, Mama fell...[br]- Shut up, bitch!

0:57:32.160,0:57:35.357
You tell Mr Nice Guy[br]to get his Jamaican ass

0:57:35.400,0:57:38.836
over to my place at three o'clock tomorrow!

0:57:38.880,0:57:42.953
- Now, you don't want me to get ugly.[br]- No, sir.

0:57:43.000,0:57:45.468
- Shit.[br]- All right. I'll tell him.

0:57:47.000,0:57:50.390
Oh, my God. We're in a lot of trouble.

0:57:51.960,0:57:55.669
Scarface, perhaps you could help me.

0:57:56.680,0:58:00.070
Why do you think Samson thinks[br]Mr Nice Guy's a Jamaican?

0:58:00.120,0:58:01.155
Oh...

0:58:01.200,0:58:05.273
- I told him Mr Nice Guy was Jamaican, yo.[br]- Why?

0:58:05.320,0:58:08.676
I just thought he sounded Jamaican[br]inside my head.

0:58:09.960,0:58:14.112
We're in trouble, guys. We have a meeting[br]with Samson tomorrow at three.

0:58:14.160,0:58:19.314
- Where will we get a Jamaican from?[br]- I'll pretend I'm Jamaican, man.

0:58:20.200,0:58:21.792
Yeah!

0:58:23.160,0:58:25.469
You have smoked yourself retarded.

0:58:29.560,0:58:31.915
Well, well, well...

0:58:33.400,0:58:34.958
if it isn't Mr Nice Guy.

0:58:36.240,0:58:38.959
Welcome to my lair.

0:58:39.560,0:58:42.870
Well, now, tell me a little bit about yourself.

0:58:42.920,0:58:45.798
(Clearing throat)

0:58:45.840,0:58:50.072
(Thick Caribbean accent) Well, I be[br]from Jamaica, mon. Lord have mercy!

0:58:50.120,0:58:52.270
What part of Jamaica?

0:58:52.320,0:58:55.551
Right near the beach. Boy!

0:58:56.360,0:58:58.749
I think you're bullshitting me.

0:58:58.800,0:59:04.033
Samson Simpson, I stick by my story.[br]I'm from Jamaica.

0:59:04.080,0:59:06.548
If I wasn't Jamaican,

0:59:06.600,0:59:09.433
then why would I wear this hat?

0:59:10.040,0:59:12.634
Delilah...

0:59:12.680,0:59:15.752
get me 814.

0:59:16.360,0:59:18.396
814.

0:59:19.080,0:59:21.275
(Mutters) What the fuck is 814?

0:59:26.000,0:59:27.592
Aaagh!

0:59:28.640,0:59:33.430
I'm sorry, y'all. I don't want to be[br]the first nigger to die from a crossbow.

0:59:33.480,0:59:39.077
I have been lying to you.[br]I'm sorry. Samson, I'm sorry. OK?

0:59:39.120,0:59:43.591
We just started this because our friend[br]got locked up. You know how that is.

0:59:43.640,0:59:48.111
- We had to get him outta jail.[br]- Now, this is what's gonna happen.

0:59:48.160,0:59:53.553
- You make about 40 to 50,000 a week.[br]- Shit. I wish.

0:59:53.600,0:59:55.830
Well, I want half!

0:59:55.880,1:00:01.750
$20,000 a week or you're dead![br]Do you understand?

1:00:02.680,1:00:06.036
20,000 seems fair.[br]That seems fair, right, guys.

1:00:07.080,1:00:08.559
Class dismissed.

1:00:10.360,1:00:13.352
Man, we are in trouble, man.

1:00:17.760,1:00:22.754
Jerry, I really need your help, man. Feel us!

1:00:22.800,1:00:26.952
Brian, will you stop praying[br]to a bag of sand, man! Come on!

1:00:28.600,1:00:33.196
You heard the man. If we don't get[br]this money, we're dead. All of us!

1:00:36.040,1:00:39.589
Thurgood, get your boy, the Guy,[br]to lend you some money, yo.

1:00:39.640,1:00:45.351
- You let him stay here long enough.[br]- He's Brian's boy. I didn't let him stay here.

1:00:45.400,1:00:48.198
I don't know him, man.

1:00:52.720,1:00:55.871
- (Guy, unzipping fly) Hey, what day is it?[br]- Saturday.

1:00:55.920,1:00:58.957
- Is it January?[br]- No, man, it's August.

1:00:59.000,1:01:02.788
- (Gurgle of urine)[br]- Oh, wow. August.

1:01:02.840,1:01:05.957
Hey, I couldn't help overhearing you guys.

1:01:06.000,1:01:10.312
If you want to double your profits,[br]you should go in there and rob that lab.

1:01:10.360,1:01:15.354
Tomorrow's Sunday. There'll be no one[br]in there. Just go in and rob the place blind.

1:01:15.400,1:01:17.595
It'll work, I promise you.

1:01:17.640,1:01:20.154
(Urine continues to flow)

1:01:20.200,1:01:23.988
Hey, seeing as how[br]we don't know who you are,

1:01:24.040,1:01:26.349
are you planning on moving out soon?

1:01:27.680,1:01:31.832
Thurgood, why don't you just focus[br]on one thing at a time? I'll be fine.

1:01:31.880,1:01:34.474
The robbery is what's important now.

1:01:38.880,1:01:41.872
(# Mission lmpossible-style theme)

1:02:05.800,1:02:07.552
(Chuckles)

1:02:11.160,1:02:13.037
Phase One is complete, yo!

1:02:14.440,1:02:18.797
All we gotta do is go down this hatch[br]to the second floor supply room,

1:02:18.840,1:02:21.593
grab all the weed and we are outta here!

1:02:22.160,1:02:25.436
- Sick, man! This is it?[br]- Let's do it.

1:02:25.480,1:02:27.471
Watch your step.

1:02:36.600,1:02:39.592
- You didn't say nothing about no door.[br]- Chill out, man.

1:02:39.640,1:02:43.030
I smoke weed here all the time.[br]This door's never locked.

1:02:43.080,1:02:46.834
- (Alarm sounds)[br]- But I didn't say the alarm would be off!

1:02:46.880,1:02:48.552
Hurry, yo!

1:02:48.600,1:02:50.830
You guys, wait up!

1:02:56.120,1:02:57.109
Hold up!

1:02:57.920,1:03:01.310
- Isn't that Thurgood, the custodian?[br]- Yeah.

1:03:01.360,1:03:05.512
- Want me to call the cops?[br]- No, this is too much fun.

1:03:06.520,1:03:07.714
Right up here!

1:03:13.520,1:03:15.511
I hope there's some left.

1:03:15.560,1:03:18.279
(# Angelic, euphoric music)

1:03:30.720,1:03:32.711
"Maui Wowie!"

1:03:32.760,1:03:34.751
(Laughing dementedly)

1:03:46.640,1:03:49.791
I never seen this much weed in my life![br]Let's go!

1:04:05.520,1:04:07.511
(Whistling)

1:04:09.640,1:04:13.315
Get down on your knees[br]with your hands behind your head.

1:04:13.960,1:04:16.918
Yo, I'm gonna make a run for it, B.

1:04:16.960,1:04:19.599
Just get down, man.

1:04:22.240,1:04:24.231
At least Brian got away, yo.

1:04:26.240,1:04:27.832
My nads!

1:04:30.440,1:04:33.079
Hey, thank God, man!

1:04:33.120,1:04:37.910
Get down on your knees[br]with your hands behind your head.

1:04:37.960,1:04:39.678
Move in.

1:04:43.960,1:04:48.556
Breaking and entering. You got me?[br]Open and shut. I say we book 'em.

1:04:48.600,1:04:53.390
- You got me? We book 'em.[br]- Hey, wait a minute, guys.

1:04:53.440,1:04:57.115
It's not open and shut.[br]What do you guys do for a living?

1:04:57.160,1:04:59.594
- I'm a detective.[br]- We're detectives.

1:04:59.640,1:05:02.950
Oh, OK, then detect. Ask us something.

1:05:04.000,1:05:07.197
What do you know about[br]this Jamaican, this Mr Nice Guy?

1:05:08.080,1:05:10.435
Aw, shit, yo!

1:05:10.480,1:05:15.031
Well, I heard he's got great weed,[br]but that's neither here nor there.

1:05:15.080,1:05:17.878
- I mean, we can't bring him down.[br]- Crazy.

1:05:17.920,1:05:23.631
But we can bring you Samson.[br]Just ask me how. Ask me!

1:05:24.800,1:05:29.555
- How will you bring Samson down?[br]- Got a meeting with him in a few days.

1:05:29.600,1:05:31.556
I'll wear a wire. Hm?

1:05:31.600,1:05:35.832
All right, listen to me.[br]There's $30,000 in this knapsack.

1:05:35.880,1:05:38.075
Give him the 20 grand you owe him.

1:05:38.120,1:05:42.671
With the remaining ten, buy whatever[br]narcotics he's got around. Got me?

1:05:42.720,1:05:47.111
- You paying attention?[br]- No. Sorry, man.

1:05:47.160,1:05:50.357
Unless you say out loud[br]what you're buying, we got nothing.

1:05:50.400,1:05:55.110
Make sure you that say it and that you get[br]Samson to say it. No codes. No slang.

1:05:55.160,1:06:00.154
As soon as you got the stuff, or if anything[br]goes wrong, say the phrase "abracadabra".

1:06:00.200,1:06:03.192
- Abracadabra.[br]- Abracadabra?

1:06:04.360,1:06:07.557
- OK, OK.[br]- Make sure that you are relaxed.

1:06:07.600,1:06:11.229
- Just act completely normal.[br]- That's gonna be a problem.

1:06:11.280,1:06:15.671
- What do you mean?[br]- We haven't smoked any weed today, man.

1:06:15.720,1:06:20.794
If the three of us go in there all clear-eyed,[br]Samson is gonna know something's up.

1:06:24.120,1:06:28.511
- If you think it's gonna help.[br]- Yeah, I think that's gonna help. Got a light?

1:06:33.240,1:06:35.231
Mmm. H-hmm.

1:06:37.800,1:06:39.791
Thanks, Officer.

1:06:43.680,1:06:49.152
I just wanna say,[br]that was a great idea, Thurgood.

1:06:49.200,1:06:54.228
- Wow! I mean, where do you even...[br]- Just smoke it, yo!

1:06:56.000,1:07:00.835
If something' happens to us, could you[br]give this letter to Mary Jane Potman?

1:07:01.720,1:07:07.317
- Sure thing, kid.[br]- Tell our friend Kenny Davis we love him.

1:07:07.360,1:07:09.954
- He's in prison.[br]- Let's go, come on!

1:07:10.000,1:07:11.274
Let's move.

1:07:12.680,1:07:16.878
Just remember to speak clearly.[br]Get him to say what he's selling you.

1:07:17.920,1:07:23.392
You know, it ain't always good to get high[br]before you have important things to do,

1:07:23.440,1:07:26.796
but lucky for us, the cops had our backs.

1:07:27.840,1:07:30.673
- Hello, boys.[br]- Hi, Samson.

1:07:31.520,1:07:34.478
So... where's the money?

1:07:34.520,1:07:36.670
Right here in my bag.

1:07:36.720,1:07:40.793
- Samson, can I ask you a question?[br]- Go ahead.

1:07:41.960,1:07:45.509
Do you know where we can score[br]some cocaine?

1:07:45.560,1:07:49.109
- You want some candy?[br]- Uh, no, thanks.

1:07:49.160,1:07:53.597
But it'd be great if we can get some cocaine.

1:07:55.520,1:07:59.513
- What's so funny?[br]- Those guys... those guys are doomed!

1:07:59.560,1:08:02.154
I can't feel my hands!

1:08:02.200,1:08:04.191
I can feel 'em.

1:08:04.240,1:08:06.549
Aggghhh!

1:08:07.600,1:08:12.071
What we have here[br]is some Columbian heaven.

1:08:12.880,1:08:16.475
- Pure cocaine.[br]- Candy makes you dandy.

1:08:17.640,1:08:20.837
This is all the cocaine we get for ten G's, B?

1:08:20.880,1:08:23.917
- We have other product.[br]- Like more cocaine?

1:08:25.960,1:08:28.269
And that is?

1:08:28.319,1:08:32.313
(Samson) Fine China. Babaloo.

1:08:32.359,1:08:35.908
- Looks like heroin to me, yo.[br]- Yeah. Is that heroin?

1:08:35.960,1:08:39.395
You've got to be the dumbest dealers[br]in the dope game.

1:08:40.160,1:08:42.993
- You mean the game that you run, yo?[br]- Yeah.

1:08:43.040,1:08:45.634
Just call me Jesse Owens.

1:08:45.680,1:08:48.274
Jesse, can we get some cocaine[br]and get outta here?

1:08:48.319,1:08:52.233
- OK.[br]- Can I buy some of your heroin, too?

1:08:52.279,1:08:54.270
OK!

1:08:56.560,1:08:59.950
All right, it's been a pleasure[br]doing business with you.

1:09:00.000,1:09:04.038
Thank you very much for the heroin[br]and the cocaine. Here's your money.

1:09:06.520,1:09:08.317
Abracadabra.

1:09:09.720,1:09:11.711
Yeah, man!

1:09:13.600,1:09:16.068
Abracadabra!

1:09:19.840,1:09:22.832
"You're all the Mary Jane I'll ever need."

1:09:25.520,1:09:29.718
- Abracadabra, yo![br]- Abracadabra, man.

1:09:29.760,1:09:33.639
- Abracadabra.[br]- Boy, why do you keep saying that?

1:09:33.680,1:09:36.113
What? Abracadabra?

1:09:36.160,1:09:38.354
Yes, abracadabra.

1:09:38.399,1:09:42.837
It's the latest thing, man. All the kids[br]are saying it. Abracadabra, my nigger!

1:09:42.880,1:09:44.871
- What's up? Abracadabra.[br]- Abracadabra.

1:09:44.920,1:09:47.274
Slim, take off your shirt.

1:09:48.439,1:09:53.036
- Samson, Samson, I hardly know you.[br]- Ladies.

1:09:53.760,1:09:55.876
- Abracadabra, man![br]- Abracadabra, yo!

1:09:55.920,1:10:00.311
- Abracadabra! Abra...[br]- You're dead!

1:10:01.800,1:10:05.918
- All of you![br]- Hey, fellas, let's beat these bitches!

1:10:05.960,1:10:07.996
(# Batman theme)

1:10:09.040,1:10:11.634
(Yowling)

1:10:32.840,1:10:35.229
Let's work it out.

1:10:40.640,1:10:42.915
Oh, your titty.

1:10:42.960,1:10:45.190
(Silence)

1:10:45.240,1:10:51.475
- Now, that's a titty.[br]- Fully, man. That is an official fully.

1:10:51.520,1:10:53.272
Aaggh!

1:10:54.520,1:10:56.511
(# Batman theme resumes)

1:10:58.760,1:11:02.799
- These are mean people. Mean, mean.[br]- Look out!

1:11:04.080,1:11:05.832
(Screams)

1:11:08.360,1:11:11.113
This is for Killer, B.

1:11:12.360,1:11:15.557
Surprise, surprise, surprise!

1:11:15.600,1:11:17.352
Look who's walking.

1:11:18.760,1:11:20.751
I thought you said you was crippled.

1:11:20.800,1:11:24.918
Well, sweet pea,[br]we're all crippled in some way.

1:11:24.960,1:11:27.758
- Put it down![br]- You win.

1:11:27.800,1:11:33.113
Now, this is the way it's gonna work.

1:11:33.160,1:11:37.950
I'm gonna take your little Mexican friend[br]with me and I'm gonna kill him.

1:11:38.000,1:11:40.673
- I'm Cuban, B.[br]- Yes, Cuban B.

1:11:40.720,1:11:43.029
Is there anything you want to say...

1:11:43.080,1:11:45.674
Jerry, we need you.

1:11:45.720,1:11:47.438
Abracadabra, B!

1:11:54.160,1:11:56.151
Oh, man!

1:12:00.200,1:12:02.191
Wow!

1:12:02.240,1:12:03.798
(Giggles)

1:12:03.840,1:12:06.229
Sucks to be you, man!

1:12:07.600,1:12:10.273
Oh, man! Oh, man!

1:12:10.320,1:12:14.518
What did I... I told you he was real, man!

1:12:14.560,1:12:18.473
Jerry, thank you, man.

1:12:18.520,1:12:20.238
You're welcome, Brian.

1:12:21.200,1:12:22.758
Peace.

1:12:26.680,1:12:29.672
(Cackling)

1:12:29.720,1:12:32.598
- Well, abracadabra.[br]- Whoa!

1:12:32.640,1:12:35.598
- All right.[br]- What the hell's going on here?

1:12:35.640,1:12:39.792
- Our job is done. These guys can go home.[br]- You guys are wasted, man.

1:12:39.840,1:12:43.435
Thurgood, Thurgood. Nice letter.

1:12:43.480,1:12:45.869
- Gimme that back.[br]- Queer!

1:12:51.560,1:12:53.676
- Everybody, freeze![br]- Oh, shit!

1:12:53.720,1:12:55.312
Nobody move!

1:12:57.960,1:13:02.112
The cops took the credit for busting[br]Samson, but that's not important.

1:13:02.160,1:13:07.359
What was important is that we cut a deal,[br]and Kenny was finally free. Hallelujah!

1:13:07.400,1:13:10.597
(# Handel: Hallelujah Chorus)

1:13:10.840,1:13:13.274
Which brings me to the Brooklyn Bridge,

1:13:13.320,1:13:16.551
where I had to make things right[br]with Mary Jane.

1:13:19.480,1:13:21.471
- Hi.[br]- Are you?

1:13:22.600,1:13:27.071
A little bit from yesterday when Kenny got...[br]But, Mary Jane, listen.

1:13:27.120,1:13:30.874
I'm done. I'm done selling it.[br]I'm done smoking it.

1:13:30.920,1:13:35.835
This is the last of it right here.[br]I just wanted you to see me get rid of it.

1:13:37.680,1:13:39.910
Could we just have a moment alone?

1:13:42.360,1:13:45.158
Do what you gotta do. Be strong.

1:13:45.200,1:13:46.997
Thanks, baby.

1:13:50.240,1:13:52.037
Mary Jane,

1:13:52.080,1:13:57.996
being with you these past 11 years[br]has been wonderful, but I gotta move on.

1:13:58.040,1:14:02.158
Come on, smoke me.[br]We'll have a quickie for old times' sake.

1:14:02.200,1:14:05.397
(Under breath) No. She's looking.

1:14:05.440,1:14:08.159
She's looking. All right, real quick.

1:14:10.960,1:14:16.353
No. No, it wouldn't be right! God damn you!

1:14:19.160,1:14:21.958
(The joint) You'll be back!

1:14:22.840,1:14:26.037
- Everything work out OK?[br]- Yeah.

1:14:26.080,1:14:29.834
- Mary Jane, I love you.[br]- I love you, too.

1:14:34.160,1:14:39.871
I know. I know what you're thinking.[br]That old Thurgood sold out, right?

1:14:39.920,1:14:43.629
- I'm your girl now.[br]- But let me tell you something. I love weed.

1:14:43.680,1:14:45.796
OK? I love it.

1:14:46.760,1:14:50.469
But not as much as I love pussy!

1:14:50.520,1:14:52.511
The End.

1:14:52.560,1:14:53.993
(# UB40: I Get Lifted)

1:14:54.040,1:14:57.237
# I get lifted up

1:14:58.080,1:15:01.277
# High, high[br]High, high

1:15:01.960,1:15:05.509
# I get lifted up

1:15:06.440,1:15:09.637
# High, high[br]High, high

1:15:10.160,1:15:13.391
# Sitting here together, baby

1:15:14.240,1:15:15.958
# We're all alone

1:15:18.600,1:15:21.956
# Now I can tell you, girl

1:15:22.600,1:15:24.272
# You turn me on

1:15:27.040,1:15:30.749
# I get lifted up

1:15:31.480,1:15:34.950
# High, high[br]High, high

1:15:35.400,1:15:39.154
# I get lifted up

1:15:39.960,1:15:43.191
# High, high[br]High, high

1:15:43.840,1:15:49.597
# Bring out the lovin', the lovin' desire, baby

1:15:52.040,1:15:58.275
# You got the match, ooh, that lights my fire

1:16:00.560,1:16:04.155
# I get lifted up

1:16:05.040,1:16:08.271
# High, high[br]High, high

1:16:08.920,1:16:12.629
# I get lifted up

1:16:13.360,1:16:16.830
# High, high[br]High, high

1:16:34.080,1:16:37.868
# I get lifted up

1:16:38.440,1:16:41.910
# High, high[br]High, high

1:16:42.480,1:16:46.155
# I get lifted up

1:16:46.800,1:16:50.315
# High, high[br]High, high

1:16:50.880,1:16:56.193
# Bring out the lovin', the lovin' desire, baby

1:16:59.200,1:17:03.159
# You've got the match, ooh

1:17:03.200,1:17:05.873
# That lights my fire

1:17:07.480,1:17:11.359
# I get lifted up

1:17:12.040,1:17:15.396
# High, high[br]High, high

1:17:15.960,1:17:19.635
# I get lifted up

1:17:20.440,1:17:23.750
# High, high[br]High, high

1:17:24.320,1:17:28.029
# I get lifted up

1:17:28.720,1:17:32.110
# High, high[br]High, high

1:17:32.720,1:17:36.349
# I get lifted up

1:17:37.160,1:17:40.596
# High, high[br]High, high #

1:18:21.200,1:18:22.997
I'm Dave Chappelle.

1:18:23.040,1:18:28.353
To learn more about marijuana or other[br]illegal substances, go to your local library.

1:18:28.400,1:18:32.712
- Remember, the more you read...[br]- The smarter you are.

1:18:32.760,1:18:35.194
(All cheer)

1:18:35.240,1:18:37.071
All right!