WEBVTT 00:00:01.215 --> 00:00:01.735 Right 00:00:01.971 --> 00:00:03.931 I'm back from the parent-teacher meeting 00:00:03.984 --> 00:00:05.614 Get down here pronto 00:00:05.660 --> 00:00:07.900 Your mother after a parent-teacher meeting 00:00:07.987 --> 00:00:10.217 Three hours I was at the place, 00:00:10.217 --> 00:00:11.816 the hall was freezing 00:00:11.826 --> 00:00:13.256 and not a cup of tea in sight. 00:00:13.326 --> 00:00:15.856 They need to limit it 00:00:15.871 --> 00:00:16.871 to three minutes maximum per day. 00:00:16.887 --> 00:00:17.887 Some of the other parents are talking 00:00:17.902 --> 00:00:18.902 the ears off the teachers. 00:00:18.918 --> 00:00:20.338 So what do the teachers 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 actually say about me? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Your math teacher said 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that you're doing okay. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That's good 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Okay, Oisín, you should be top of that class 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mum, just I'm not that good at maths 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You're just not applying yourself 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I spoke to Mr O'Donovan and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 he says you're doing the bare minimum to get by 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I got a B at Christmas 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Well b or not, he's got you figured out, Mister 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You are coasting in there 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You have so much potential, brains to burn 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You need to knuckle down laziness 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Coasting, coasting, coasting 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 My Oisín could work for NASA 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I don't want you sitting beside Barry anymore 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We're sitting there I can see you there now, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 tricking away 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Now I spoke to Mrs Flynn, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 your business teacher, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and she said you're working hard 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and you should be fine in the exams 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 To be honest I don't think, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 she knew who you were 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mum! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 okay you just don't believe any of the nice stuff 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and all the mean stuff 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mrs Gotham says you need to apply yourself more 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 she has it in for me 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 she does have it in for me 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 she has kicked me out of the class three times last week 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what did Mr Gary say 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I don't rate him as a teacher 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 yeah Mom what's he saying 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 he's not up to the task 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what did he say 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 he's too laid back 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 mum 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I mean he's trying to be friends with all the students 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what did he say 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 he said you're doing well 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mr Doyle the vice principal now 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there is a man with a head for discipline 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 he's a maniac 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what did my art teacher say 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh I didn't go to her 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what why not 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the queue was a mile long, she just talks and talks 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that's my best subject 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I saw that new English teacher of yours, Mrs O'Neill 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 most of the fathers are very keen to speak to her 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 although I didn't think she was dressed appropriately at all 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 her guidance cancer says 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that based on your marks from her assessment 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that you should consider doing something with your hands 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 like carpentry or weaving 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I actually got the smell of alcohol of her 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mr Rooney wanted to know 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 if you'd like to join the chess club so I said you would 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 if you'd like to join the debating Club 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 no 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 if you'd like to join the choir 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I said you would 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 have more interested in Taekwondo 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I said no 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I spoke to your music and Drama teacher 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and it had to be said 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh no no 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you should have been playing the role of Oliver in the school play 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you have a beautiful voice 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that Jeffrey fella doesn't have a note in his head 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and he's completely flat-footed 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Cooking With Your Parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 help me in the kitchen, I am up to my eyes 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh do I have to yes you do have to use exact measurement ocean follow the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 recipe to the letter well how much should we add a handful of them what a heaped teaspoon a dog a scoop a pinch a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 low a dash they're not measurements what are you cooking fish I hate fish you eat 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it putting pizza in the oven is not cooking pot noodle is not cooking Dairy dunkers is not cooking cornflakes from 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the packet is not cooking now clean as you go Mom I'm hungry if you're hungry 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 have something small there's no nourishment in that that's all to sustain you if you're hungry have an 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 apple don't eat straight from the shopping bags Jesus Christ let's sit in the cupboard for a minute don't eat the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 ham straight from the package don't eat straight from the fridge put it on a plate those penguins are for Christmas 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's July put them back in the freezer clean as you go chicken can be lethal 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you need to cook it until it's black all knives are sharp perfect with this side of the knife washing clean as you go a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 watched pot never boils it's boiled is it don't scratch my non-stick pan would you like to do the Sterling Ocean yeah 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm not five mom would you like to lick the spoon yeah I ain't going to leave yet to do that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 yourself okay yeah goodbye 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 no you're you're doing it too slow wash you know no no no don't just do it yourself your father's 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 cooking dinner tomorrow night where are you going with the microwave the boots of the car the only way I can get them 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to cook a decent meat would you like to try some of my wine oh yeah yeah no just a sip 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Going To Dinner With Your Parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 okay there you go that's too much well I didn't I hadn't even tried it yet 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 [Music] duck is very fatty chicken can be very tasteless Falafel can be very dry I can 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 cook a lasagna myself I might have a look and see what other people have ordered but no Mom don't I I I'm just 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 looking at what you've ordered there yes the carbonara is it okay that looks lovely yes that is very heavy 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for me now I I wouldn't I wouldn't want that that is a beautiful soul seller beautiful candle holder glassware 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 sterling silver I'll bet yeah very hard to clean them I bet they can't put it in 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the dishwasher at Water please okay is there a Steelers party tap yeah 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it tastes the same can I please get the Bolognese there's a lot of onion in that isn't it 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that would run right through it how's school uh yeah it's it's good uh actually uh Mr 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 O'Neill yeah yeah Mr O'Neill was saying yesterday that the shoulders 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 yeah so uh Mr Neil was saying that the clap so what was Mr o'me saying there nothing 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 God you have the word to throw to a dog God I think that's correct that's definitely Court it was a screw top 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 model is yours hot enough there yeah mine's stone cold I might have mine reheated 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 just steam coming off yeah okay excuse me what no I could have these reheated 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 food this is lovely now it just needs a touch of salt 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh shoot slow down pat enjoy it's not a race manners ocean chew your food don't 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 woof your Goblin masticate [Music] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 well now that was a bit disappointing I would say for the price of it yeah I think I'll have to say something no more 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 just saying something new there's your check everything okay yep great lovely thank you very much no problem now I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 have a voucher here 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the food is way far too soft I want all alarms set for 6 a.m six 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Holidays With Your Parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 ocean we need to be at the airport at least two hours before the flagship at least three hours for five hours 16 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 hours before the flight I'm not leaving anything to chance I want to be there 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I want to be settled are we getting a taxi taxi yeah Bushy when that's 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 millionaires don't go around telling people around holidays why not we might get burgled now unplug the TV disconnect 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the internet defrost the freezer cut the grass water the plants take in the garden furniture turn on the radio pull 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the blinds leave a light on upstairs why so people think somebody's home someone who never leaves a one room we need to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 empty the fridge before we go but don't let anything go to waste right each of the bit of bread that's left there we 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 didn't finish those yogurts eat up Oz finish the gherk gherkins don't touch those crisps they're for guests leave a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 note for the Milkman last time we came back to 16 liters and still sitting out in the sun right the cheese it was mom 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 can we visit the football stadium I don't we have a lot to get through ocean there are 17 churches on that street 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 alone and they all have Fresco no no why can't I just stay home I'm old enough not after what your brother did two 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 years ago the floors were destroyed the begonias never recovered all the toilets were blocked I found spaghetti in the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 porch I found your father's shoes halfway down the road I'm not Daniel okay they found family photos in the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 neighbor's Back Garden I'm only remembering this now is that everything yeah right God the stress I'm not 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 looking forward to this holiday at all yeah oh neither am I or she oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] are you there what yeah 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Isolating With Your Parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mom why are you calling me from upstairs I have I have I have what the Rona I have it what you call it I came out of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the shower and I coughed so do not come near me now I'm going to be self-isolating in my room oh okay now 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you're gonna have to run the house until I'm in the clear pet okay are you able to do that yeah now are you capable of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that well yes Mom I I are you sure now Mom I think I can manage well it's it's not an easy thing to do now it's a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 difficult thing to run a household okay I think I'll manage right right okay 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 God the house will come down around us now you'll have to Hoover the downstairs 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 dust will build up if you don't stay on top of it all right final dude where is it what the Hoover where is it sliced he 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 doesn't even know where the Hoover is just tell me where it is it's under the stairs that's all you have to say now 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you need to get right in under the bowl there right here yeah I know Mom get the cloth right in there what are you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 scrubbing it properly then you're not showing me show me the show me the bowl there if you still see dirt there I'm 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 hanging up which part do I put the powder in in the drawer yeah which part are you doing a pre-wash I don't know 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the left is for fabric softener okay do I put that in that's only for towels to see okay the rice is for a pre-wash and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the middle bit is for detergent where do I put the washing powder I don't use powder we use capsules to put them 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 directly in the drum right fine when you say that in the first place you just put it straight in the middle stop it joshing now that's a dishwasher tablet 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so you dust on top of the picture frames yes show me there now show me the top of the picture frame 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there now all right fine now they're Infinity I thought so filled 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 up absolutely filthy there now did you clean the windows yeah but I can't get rid of the streaks what did you use I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 use the window cleaner but oh no this video ah Something's Happened 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to close what do you mean they're smaller now Jesus that's my good cards again what temperature did you put them 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 on as for 80 degrees 80 degrees how did you get it to go that high in the first place now that you've polished the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Lampshades I need Mother of God can I not get a minute's piece I haven't sat down all day I am up to hideo because 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you'd want the patience of a saint now have you coughed since this morning no I haven't do you have a temperature no a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 tightness of the chest difficulty breathing no any loss of smell or taste no are you feeling tired loss of energy 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 no well then there is nothing wrong with your young lady so get out of that bed and get down here this instant oh you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 are so annoying okay he's he's he's easy I'm not rushing you're rushing now 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Learning To Drive With Your Parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there's no need to rush mom [Music] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 expect the unexpected handbrake again 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 sorry that was nice you can't put your arms across me 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there is no need to shout no no no here's a learner try for now here's a learner driver now watch out for the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 learner driver he's like yourself and he's panicking he's panicky he's very panicky keeps under the speed limit Mom 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm I'm going 15. are you 15. when you're going into a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 roundabouting you have to be very very careful now now ocean what are you doing oh God those cars all over the place now 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 watch off left left left right left right left right and left oh 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 God almighty we're still alive you don't need fifth gear that's for race car drivers I'm just 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 third gear is all you need one two and three keep it simple it will 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 try the three-point turn here okay you need to bring the car to a stop [Music] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 touching it you're airing the ass out of the car oh 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 [ __ ] oh God this is a dodgy area no do the central locking camera Watch the daffodence watch the Duffy you're going 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 into the daffodils there now this game arrangement such a friend such 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a friend from school no Mom I'm not stopping he's learning 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 how to drive [Music] don't mind him now just you're doing 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 your own thing okay School easy [Music] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Parents On The First Day Back To School 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 [Music] you should have had everything ready to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 go last night not helping fix that taco mom it's too big for me it'll fit you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 next year you cannot wear them what are their shoes well they look like Runners to me geez it's the wish of that bag the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 price of that booklet the price of that uniform the price of that class trip voluntary contribution my eye what are 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you looking for a pen he doesn't even have a pen who do you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 have for history this year Mr Flanagan oh Jesus who bought these that nothing but sugar 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I'm making a porridge what no please here check that no more can I send money 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for lunch I'll make you sandwiches there's nothing wrong with Jam sandwiches with lettuce 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and cheese sandwiches gherkins and Branston sauce sandwiches don't sit beside Barry this year why why you know 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 why I said besides James Weiss didn't he get all Ace but he's a knob 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 he he's boring that's not what you said now that coat 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 isn't warm enough put that on what I'm not wearing that oh she no I'll drop you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 down well no psycho are you embarrassed of your mother yeah obviously helps 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 right she gives a look to them come on let's go okay best of Lopez best look [Music] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 put that coat back on and the helmet 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Parents When You Get Dumped 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 right what has you in such foul humor nothing you are moping about the place with a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 face on you like I don't know what you're fine right off of that there now and you had 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to tell me what's wrong there's nothing wrong okay Robert Flanagan 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a mother always knows when something's wrong yeah I got dumped what I got 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 dumped [Music] don't what you mean don't don't buy my 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 girlfriend a girlfriend you never told me you had a girlfriend yeah well I don't have one anymore do I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 well that's probably for the best given it's an exam year pet 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's her loss girls like that are a diamond there are plenty more trout in 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the Shannon you're a catch ocean any girl would be lucky to have you I've always thought you look like a young 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Prince William at home you're making a worse just leave me alone 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 were you probably weren't in love with her okay the only way to get over sadness is 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 distraction so busy busy busy busy busy busy mom you should come down to the garden 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 center with me and I will get you to pick out a plant for yourself oh wow that sounds horrific 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but that's all these kids cheers you don't understand she was perfect well I knew a girl from college 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 bridamine her beautiful beautiful girl I tell you she had the boys like that but 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 last I heard twice divorced a son that won't talk to her and on top of that she 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 looks Dreadful now [Music] what if I never find anyone who's good 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 again mark my words or Sheen in a few years time they would be knocking down my door queuing up outside beating them 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 off with sticks have your pick of the bunch there are plenty of young ladies out there still yeah like who well Mrs 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 O'Toole's daughter always had a soft spot for you she's my cousin third cousin we're a small island nation right 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 now ocean there's no perfect time to talk about this but if you're going to be having 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 girlfriends we need to be talking about being careful what 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you need to be careful oh no no no no no we're not talking 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 about we're not talking about no down there young man sit back down there 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Parents When You Have Your Friends Over 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 can Barry come over as long as he takes his shoes off last time you drag dog dirt all over the house yeah okay and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 clean up this place it's an absolute State it's like a bomb hitter the place is a tip it's like a pigsty cowshed 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Chicken Coop have we been burgled I'm sure Barry's house is clean we were living in our own filth here how's the mother grad right and the father Grand 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is he thinking a cut on the Hedge this weekend with us don't know well it's just eyes on my 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 side there now so boom right I'm gone I'm gone God the smell of fish in here 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 bye love put your shoes back up oh Shane's getting late now so you know I think Barry's parents will 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 be wondering where he is it's getting quite late there now oh Barry you're still here we'll have to start charging your rent now Barry okay Barry we'll be 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 having our dinner soon so uh okay I'll stay in here 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 would you like to join us for dinner buddy suppose so right should I chicken Barry no do you like peas Barry no do 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you like potatoes Barry no do you like cabbage Berry no do you like fish fingers Barry no do you like carbohydrates Barry no what do you like 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Barry nuggets right I'll check the Deep Freeze will 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you see if there's any Magnums in there rush I'm going to bed now all right all 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 right good night good night Barry good night 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 better get out of my house for Christ's sake uh ocean it's five past eight oh 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Parents When You're Sick 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Mom I think I'm sick you're going to school right let's have a look at you here 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Jesus I know you're not going to school are you mad right I'll get the fix now 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 rub this on your chest your back your cheeks your ears and the soles of your feet now the steam is good for you it's 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 burning my face just another 25 more minutes pet what are you doing to the 7-0 it's 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 useless unless it's flash Jesus just one more Spoonful no moon please it's disgusting cod liver oil is a cure apple 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 cider vinegar is a cure gargling salted water is a cure-all cinnamon tumeric garlic ginger onion is 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a cure puke it's your stomach actually you're at me ocean are you warm enough yes I'll get 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 another hot water no I already have three do you know what you're missing in school no because we don't want you falling 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 behind love will you try some chicken soup no thanks I've made your favorite Balinese no more 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 well you have to eat something love could ever wear his ice cream 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 right yeah yeah where's ice ice cream okay if you're too sick for school you're too sick for computer games to watch 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 television to be on the phone to listen to headphones you're never too sick to read a book oh [ __ ] you needn't be 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 worried about school because I had your cousin go in there and get the homework for you so that's all sorted out mom 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 are there any more Mars ice creams yes yes 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 will you make it to the toilet in time love I leave the Basin just here okay yeah are you going to be sick 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 are you going to be sick now because if you are going to be sick there's a base in there now okay all 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 right so I'll leave it here now it's to your right [ __ ] off 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 doomed up please it's disgusting cod liver oil 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 wow 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's like pure fish I hate fish 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Playing Computer Games With Your Parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 ing it's a beautiful day outside what are you doing cooped up in here get on fire you are wasting the day the day is 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 gone you are like a vampire in here Jesus are you afraid someone might see you are you under witness protection or 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 something turn off that game station and go outside yeah I'm in the middle of a match you could play your football out 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in the fresh air it's not football it's MMA Museum of Modern Art to stay there I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 need someone to help me with hedge clippings in the garden five minutes okay you said five minutes an hour ago 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 no it's just about to type I will tap you out God Almighty I'm exhausted I am five 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 hours six hours 12 18 72 hours in that Garden got as well for some reason I sit 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in their backside playing computer yeah well no one's stopping you playing ah ABS you're allergic to have fun 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 which way you hold it now which one am I Conor McGregor is that Conor McGregor is 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 this yes I just press Start I'd find it hard to get a job with them now just please 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 start how do I shoot there's no guns I thought it's like running around with a gun earlier it was a different game what 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 did I do there it didn't do anything that's me am I the one on the right here no that's me how do I get out of this Carson cage am I right that one there 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 like that's the referee where am I can't see anything gotcha oh gotcha again oh geez I kicked [ __ ] did I kick it you see 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 all right Jesus I punched your phone fast oh I've been knocked out that was my character God should I win yeah Jesus 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the size of that belt how are you supposed to keep a pair of trousers up with that thing right how was it around 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Shopping With Your Parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the waist it won't stop it shut up people are looking like no one is looking warm 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 this one's pretty cool there is no heat in there the wind will go right through it's like a plastic bag you'll freeze 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you'll catch your day he'll catch pneumonia it's wafer thing I tell you you won't look cool you look cold 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that was not funny I look ridiculous I'm gonna get bullied anyone who bullies it 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 over a coach ocean is not your friend oh I look like a giant snot you do not it brings out your eyes what about this one 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 mom is it on sale no then put it back this one's really warm does it have a hood no put it back oh this one's warm 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Anda has a hood is it machine washable no oh oh Shane how are you getting on in 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there I'm fine does it fit you all right just go away look come out and show me I'm not coming out all right will you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 come out and show your mother no Mom wait so I'm coming in did you not come in here oh sorry no there's nobody in 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 here I I thought you were my son what's going on when I ask you to come out you come out a leather jacket ocean you're 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 not James Dean Clark Gabe Steve McQueen Marlon Brandon Humphrey Bogart John Wayne Lionel Richie boom this is the one 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Barry has it's really cool Barry has a cool Crush because Barry's dad lives in Portugal don't repeat that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's polyester put us back 100 well it's itchy the itcher it is the higher the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 quality the moment you look like a tent oh there's a tear great we might get a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 discount right let's have a look at you no don't you look great no I'm after 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 spending 135 Euro on your ocean you could give me a smile uh giant snow oh 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 isn't that your friend Barry will he come here to me for a second pet 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Staycation With Your Parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 yeah great news we're going on holidays Spain 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we can go no not Spain ocean there's a pandemic we're going on a staycation 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 first but in in Ireland yes Ireland ocean now 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Maureen has given us the lender of a holiday home in Don Bowie oh no I don't really have there's not much internet up there so bring plenty of books oh no no 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 please it's gonna be boring it's been nice there's nothing to do there is plenty to do for someone with a bit of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 imagination like what like walks beautiful scenery old churches and walks 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 clearly said walks you can't even drink the water in dunbu we can't ah don't be ridiculous the water is fine you just 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 need to run the tap for 20 to 15 minutes before house is freezing the heating doesn't work there is plenty of turf for 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that fire plenty of turf and the septic tank should be fixed by the time we get there I'm told oh no more now there is a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 key under the mat because many break-ins there it wouldn't be anything happening in don't Bowie at all 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 pack your togs why because of the beach there's no beaches sharp rocks that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 gradually gets smaller towards the shore rip the foot off yeah I know the water is freezing I'm not getting in look at 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's either stay here and Lounge about the house or come with me stay here I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 have spent many is a nice summer in Dumb Bowie as a little girl right and I loved 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it you also used to think Mansion oranges were a treat mom times change okay this might be the last holiday we 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 spend as a family now 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 tell Pat 's Erie down the road in Glendale Mick and we only Spanish when the wind is 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 blowing West so pack your bags and stop complaining Hey Hey Barry Barry hey it's finally in the parking 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 yes we are packing for our holidays tomorrow where you go we're going to do don't bore and don't porn don't Bowie 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 don't Bowie yes oh yeah gray colorful yeah monkey very cool no it's a family 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 holiday oh what time are we leaving 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Barry's mother has something else planned for them no 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but the house has to be cleaned from top to bottom for the last two days of the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 holidays yeah yeah no problem we'll leave it the same condition as we found it exactly a dump quick oh [ __ ] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Studying With Your Parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 mom can you do my French questions with me the oral is tomorrow tomorrow right let me get my glasses there so just read 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the question yeah just just read the questions what 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 je m'appelle ocean Flanagan right [Music] there what we live in Dublin 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we are on the border see Dublin 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 football is you haven't practiced in months sitting 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 up there in the computer all the time who cares just the eye care I choose the money I paid for those lessons 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what sister you don't have a sister it's for the vocabulary move it's not good to tell lies ocean you can get cut out 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 jumanj Doritos is your more coke say that don't think it does feed you save green beans and broccoli don't open 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the dictionary no it's there's no time I don't it doesn't matter what you're saying and Doritos my mayor a professor 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a montpair a engineer he's actually an engineer now he's more of a diagnostic 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 consultant for ventilation systems I don't know those words okay and the exam is tomorrow why do you have to leave 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 everything to the last minute the amount of money I spent sending you to France you've done dama you've done sweet 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 diddly squash bugger all less than nothing my grand pair a Quattro vant we dance your grandfather is dead or she I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 know he's dead I have to show that I know numbers though Jesus 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 if I could do the exam for yoshin it's your future it sounds like you don't even know what you're saying you've just 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 learned off a set of phrases and you're regurgitating well I'm not actually trying to learn French I'm just trying to pass the exam 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Teaching Computers To Parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh god I've broken it Goshen what have I done now nothing it's 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 fine I have had it with this cursive machine let's sit down there now and show me how to use this what I have to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 do my homework I can only take a second what should you do there now I didn't do anything well you did you did something 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there there well I just moved the mouse across the screen there it is again it's the mouse double click double click okay 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 [Music] you have to do it faster faster yeah 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 okay let's let me do it let's take this 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I want you to show me how to do it I don't want you to do it for me you just type in your email address right okay 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 nasty oh yeah n ope oh look I've got some email from a prince ragaba from Nigeria oh well I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 don't think that's actually a prince oh you're jealous huh no I'm he's just trying to rob you he's a prince he's 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 stuck in an airport and he needs help now where's my credit card details 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it keeps offering me cookies I got an email from the bank of Europe asking me to reconfirm my credit card details 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I am an hour trying to get this bloody printer to work and it just refuses to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 do anything alternative now oh God what's this now it's just the terms and conditions the application may ask for your 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 permission to access you don't have to read a moment it's just Gmail it says please read the terms and conditions 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 before yeah but nobody 14 pages long you don't nobody boom oh 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I've clicked out of it what's this now history oh that could be interesting might be 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 something on the Renaissance oh no you can't don't don't open up you can open the history folder it could it could 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 break the computer [Music] I thought you said you couldn't break [Music] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh Jesus Christ so she what what's the stuff now doomed up 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Watching TV When Your Parents Walk In 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh God turn this off now turn this off they use 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the remote pornography it's not it's a TV show where they could have fooled me I'm home if that's that show that the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 average people normal people I'm I've heard all about it on the radio to pray no it's not you always just come in at 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the worst part well I've heard the worst part goes on for four minutes and 42 seconds what Mary White timed it I'm 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 always not about that I don't care what it's about anything that has to rely on that sort of Filth has nothing to offer 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 like I've never even seen it I bet Barry's mother doesn't let him watch I think she does actually I very much 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 doubt that if she does you're not watching it and that is fine fine would you not get yourself a nice book 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 apparently there's a great novel by an Irish author it is Sally Rooney uh no 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 thanks it's supposed to be brilliant oh hello Barry what have I told you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 about letting yourself in sorry the door was unlocked so does your mother know you watch the show yeah everybody's 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 watching it you see everyone we are not watching us here in 23 crime for crevices fine okay come on Paris okay 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 where are you going I didn't come down the last shower now you're going to watch it on your phone you know what 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 else I can watch my phone if I wanted to actual pornography 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 okay 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh God and Mikey it's still on Jesus Christ and why anyone wants to watch this smush is beyond me 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is he wearing a necklace Connor for God's sake that is no way to treat you one that boy's mother has her head 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 screwed on oh we do not just stay together God you're perfect for each other where's the dinner oh sorry hey you're watching us no I was looking for 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the Antiques Road you're on the last episode oh God I hope there's a second season what I'm an emotional 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 are you wearing a necklace it's a chain what you doing I'm watching a movie move 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Watching TV With Your Parents 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 over there good luck it's my spot oh I haven't sat down all day 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I was trying to watch a movie is it suitable is it suitable yeah it's suitable and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Oscar right God it's very violent you've got that shocking nudity oh she turned that off 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what more makes a shampoo add what oh why do we have so many remote controls 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 yeah this is for the television yeah this for the DVD player that's the satellite and that's the house phone 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there's no need to be smart you know I did repack them here now absolutely the flourishing flourishing behind the carpet cleaners in here the other week 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 now they did a fierce good job absolute excellence 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 [Music] is this the one now yeah yeah it's too loud no more that's a channel you change your 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 channel the other one go back all right go back no go oh oh go oh what's this 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 antique no no she's a beautiful race you run out there and make a scope of tea like a good lad that's too strong 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 did you put any milk did you spell the pot that's too sweet put it in a proper Cup who's that Antonio Banderas 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I thought you said this was meant to be good oscari backside oh Jesus it's almost nine turn over to the news there 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what no more please will you go on to the news my living room my rules my 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 house my rules my TV my rules shooting and Killing Jesus would you have a song 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 or something oh God there's the rain there's the Rain Jesus give me a hand with clothes get 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 out here Christmas is upon us so I want all hands 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When Parents Cook Christmas Dinner 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 on deck you're fine there was too much for me to do last year so this year I am keeping it simple 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 right I am just doing the turkey and ham the roast potatoes carrots cauliflower 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 cheese parsnips Beef Wellington mashed potato potato cracker flat potatoes potato potato cheesy potato chips Auntie 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Rose is vegan now oh that woman has to be difficult oh and the O'Connor cousins only eat like spaghetti and pizza they 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 will eat what is pot in front of them it won't fish it won't fit in the oven the turkey it's a monstrosity of thing 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's like an ostrich why did you get such a big one there was so much left over last year well I don't want to get 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 cut out well we were eating turkey leftovers in June turkey curry turkey soup turkey meatballs yes the turkey 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 roulette we still have some left good man I need more room in the fridge will you finish off those eggs drink the rest 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of that milk polish off those gherkins finish off that mayonnaise this dinner will be the death of me why'd you go to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so much effort if you find it so stressful well maybe you'd prefer some slices of toast and Nutella yeah a wood 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 your wood my eye apparently you can cook the ham in Coca-Cola God that sounds disgusting no I'm doing 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 mine Insider I need to get the Christmas cake done boom nobody ever eats the Christmas cake that is not the point it 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 has to be done anyway I want you to extend the mahogany table oh well we actually get to eat in the dining room 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 do we I know it is a beautiful table I want to show it off now covers look at that plastic tablecloth there what I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 don't want it getting wrecked or she will use the fancy noise in Forks yes but don't put them in the dishwasher 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 well at least something has sunk in or shouldn't we need 18 bags of sultanas how many puddings are we making eight or 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 nine hey why do we need so many puddings I like to keep a few around for emergencies 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 break glass for pudding Brandy ocean will you get the Brandy out for me there 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 ocean the Brandy thank you thank you specialize Jesus stop watching 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 did we use that much last year come on can Barry come for Christmas dinner with us or she Christmas is a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 family time oh no more please please well I'm sure Barry wants to spend Christmas with his own family now would 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you like to come with us on a walk on Christmas Day Barry you can go on the walk and we'll stay here and mind the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 house God almighty this dinner will be the death of me well I know it's a lot of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 work move but neither it's all done you could just sit back you know and enjoy Christmas I haven't enjoyed Christmas since 1972 Washington now get the Brandy 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 well we don't need many more puddings it's not for the puddings right ashin we're visiting breed of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When Parents Drag You Places 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Meine can I just stay at home not on your own why do I have to come she's your friend or mine you're to be 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 sociable what's the only thing you guys talking about is people who are dead we do know shouldn't I hear Mina Walsh died 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh she did she did do you know who else died Phelan Corcoran he didn't but he 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 wasn't wearing Sheila McKenna she's not you know what a sergeant Lincoln shouldn't look well oh just a matter of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 time yeah yeah yeah he didn't she did did you hear no oh well you're stuck go 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 away sure this is it would you like a cup of tea or Sheen uh no thanks you have like a fizzy drink yes 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 yeah actually I think I have some tonic water in the fridge oh Shane you must be very popular with the ladies I'd say of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 your pick of the bunch oh no there's to be no girlfriends until after the exams until he's 21 36 52. oh she's very good 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 at maths oceans very music big into the drama Ocean's very good at the French is he now say it is a French first Arrow 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Shin come on to to Pal there uh [Music] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh brilliant I've got some prawns steaming in the kitchen grief I hate prawns you'll eat that I'm allergic and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm eating oh boy it's polite all that meal is delicious we have to have you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 again some time on now absolutely right here we go oh [ __ ] okay safe home now I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 cannot stand that woman uh she's not that bad mom how much money did she give you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When Parents Give You A Lift 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 where's Barry he's coming it's 25 past eight ocean we said a quarter past yeah 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 okay he said he'd be here it's been late every day this week he's not getting a lift to school next week I can tell you that all right fine I don't care and his 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 mother is none too quick to return the offer Mighty what's that smell is that a clean shirt yes 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 right Hey Barry nice but you almost took the door off 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the hinges okay now does everyone have the seat belt on you've moved one off five okay 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 [Music] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 leave it and then polish Barry Mom can I go out on Friday night don't 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 talk to me when I'm driving or Sheen I get distracted oh are the McDonald's getting the job done on the house they need to cut that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 grass that skirt is a far too short they've painted that house in awful those daffodils are still going God 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that's a dreadful gaze they've put in I forgot my lunch again yeah those salad sandwiches will go to waste can I get a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 10 for the canteen you can have a fiver a Fiverr is not enough it's enough when it's spent on proper food not on spicy 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 wedges or Mr Slurpees what this man cannot drive a car no education I'm not 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 letting him in I'm not letting him in now I'm not letting you in have none is a word to throw to a dog both of them 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there their heads glued in the phones [Music] let's go over the verb etra again not 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 warm just sweet to a the cheek of him she's blocking the entire Lane I can't 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 go forward there's a yellow box is that man waving at me at the back form he's giving you the finger 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 well I feel very sorry for that man's wife change the radio station I'm listening to the news mommy listen to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the news at breakfast it's the same news it doesn't change I'll put on my CD 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 [Music] here we go I can put on the news here no 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'll drop you to the door no no move here's fine [ __ ] you to the door 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 no no put your seatbelt back down well don't slam the door Jesus Christ the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When Parents Have Visitors 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 visitors will be here in eight hours I need all hands on deck ocean will you go into the control room there and give it your sister's junk where's herself she 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 should have to get rid of it I don't have time to argue with you okay I am up to my eyes I am flattered I'm fit to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 collapse I am up to high dough so just go and do it oh 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I've just cleaned the toilet so nobody go in there well the visitors aren't coming for like six hours where are we 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 ready to go if you need to go go next door to the caverns I'm not going to the cabinets to take a dump or she need to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 pump the cushions yes or she needs your dust behind the TV yes you need to weed the garden yes watching to Jehovah under 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the couch nobody's gonna look under the couch mum why are we cleaning so much because I don't want to think that we 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 live like animals this is how we live God on my chance did you clean your room No One's Gonna 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Be in my room mum but they'll close the door Jesus Christ they went in there they could get wheels disease don't eat 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 them they're for guests or shouldn't go in there and fill up the mountain Brown will you good ladder knock those glasses 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the good glasses not that Cutlery the good Cuttery not those plates they're too good oh I'm after forgetting the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 effing cream but she really come in here yeah 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 boss what what what you want you call me in I'm busy 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 here now Jesus Christ you can't be annoying me now just call me oh God my mind is that damn Jesus they're early go 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in there and talk to them I don't know look I need to get ready all right I'll be down in an hour don't worry about it 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh [ __ ] take the chicken out of the other medium yeah it's in there too long did it take it off about 10. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 [Music] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 get in there and see if we need more wine Mary wants to know if we have any tonic water 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 cannot stand that one bye-bye never again 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When Parents Ruin Your Summer 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 okay it's games off now no games 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I have more so weak and you haven't left that seat you are to be up out of the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 house and I want your occupied [Music] I will not hover a piece of last summer 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 where you moped about the house doing sweet fa I have brochures worse the tennis club are doing a three-week camp 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in July no there's speech and drama in the community center orienteering in the Pine Forest a science camp arts and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 crafts Pottery tree shaping astronomy bug snorkeling nude still life Rock how did that get in there now that's the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 least two weeks left to fill in Moon Barry said that there's a really good thing intense like a mixed martial arts course oh no move I haven't told you but 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what about French College Lord knows you need the help yeah I'm meant to be on my holidays that's basically School you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 could volunteer in the local community there is a great sense of satisfactions 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 how about I use this time to teach you how to play chess how to sew flower arranging cross stitching use the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 washing machine teach how to drive never again we could do a virtual online class 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 together no I'm on my holidays I don't want to learn anything The Devil Makes work for Idle Hands stop referring to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 yourself in the third person mom well you could come help me in the garden what would I get if I did it gardening 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is its own reward for every four hours you do gardening you can have five minutes on the game what's a terrible deal you will need 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 something to use up your free time well me and Barry were thinking about joining a band oh lovely and the father he used 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to play the bassoon in the rathfarnum concert no more a real band Lego guitars and drums not under my roof or you and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Barry could go on bicycles along the canal and then maybe stop for a picnic I'm not trying to woo Barry in the 19th 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 century mall right ocean I have tried everything so we're going to learn a tick tock dance together well no no no 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 no I'll do I'll do the gardening I'll do the gardening 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 outside in the fresh air yeah what are you doing exactly oh Sheen 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When Your Parents Get A New Phone 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what I need your help I got a new iPhone that's an Android what it's an Android it's not an iPhone 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I don't care what it is I can't get the thing working just turn it on I haven't finished 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 reading the manual yet I haven't filled out the warranty yet this phone is to last me five years 10 years 15 75 years 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 play your cards right I'll leave it for you in my will I just want the phone calls and the text messages okay so just 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the basics okay just WhatsApp to him no Jesus no I don't want any of that waste time of those applications but WhatsApp 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is text messages 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 okay so what was your password on your last phone yes right yes I I've written it down 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 somewhere here now yes um yes like it's gonna be again 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 um password one one no no trying 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 clean as you go odd caps no try my name no nothing I try my my maiden name there 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 my maiden name uh yeah um uh washing my maiden name 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I just need to put in your Google password oh yeah I don't know what it is now put in your banking password 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Facebook passwords oh I can't remember Microsoft passwords 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 no ocean I can't it's gone after me it's I've broken it 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 [Music] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh Jesus I'm pressing this one here now what what's that why those two this volume well they're very close together 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 yeah you just press this and you put in your PIN that's ridiculous absolutely ridiculous now it keeps going 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 off on me now why does it do that the screen just times it goes to sleep well we're gonna turn that off because I I it 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 doesn't give me a second before it's gone again you really just like it's intense there it's gone again it's because you haven't used it for 10 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 seconds to seconds you can't do anything in 10 seconds camera on this is marvelous isn't it 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's a great shots you should get them printed what are these now they're notifications right and and what you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 just you press them and then they'll open you press into them right okay yeah yeah okay let's put in your PIN 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh I don't know what that is now you know I'm going away for the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When Your Parents Go Away 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 weekend yeah yeah tell me like a hundred times yes I'm going away with my friend Geraldine yeah yeah did you thank her 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for the jumper yes I did you did okay and remember what I said pet yeah don't open the door to anyone right okay 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 [Music] I am leaving you 20 Euro for pizza oh great there are conditions I want you to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Hoover the whole stairs and land it you have to clear out the garage the shed clean out the other varnish the doors 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 sand down the garden furniture fine I don't want it you can keep it what there are 15 cans of lager in that cabinet and 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I have counted though aren't you supposed to be gone wait look I'm going I'm going right ocean I'm taking the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 internet what why now it's not up for discussion what am I gonna do well you can read a book remember the black bin 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 goes out on the Monday yeah and the Greenville on the Fridays yes make sure they take the brown bin with the green 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 bin right because last time they didn't take their mint to take that I don't want that brown bit yes all right thank you okay okay okay rush I'm okay yes 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 remember to water the plants yeah I know yeah give them plenty of water yeah well I will but don't OverWatch them what for 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 emergencies I'm leaving you my credit card just an emergency okay 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's what I can't hear you I'm not shouting out my 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 PIN number it's just been everyone here you don't have to chase this two of us just tell me normally I just spare key hidden in the garden place where between 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the acacia and the agapanthus I don't know what those plans are but when one has variegated leaves 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh that's Geraldine there right okay nice okay good boy yeah goodbye look 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 after yourself now okay and and and remember if I said now okay don't answer the door to oh okay okay good luck right 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 okay goodbye oh and and don't forget yes okay goodbye and no part no goodbye more 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 just go Jesus Christ 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 [Music] I forgot my keys 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 hello there ocean um I forgot my keys there now I'm not 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When Your Parents Make You Do Gardening 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 supposed to answer the door to anyone what 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I need your help in the garden oh no you promised oh shim right a small help yeah 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they were the conditions I'm going to the Disco fine 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 look we'll be done in five minutes we'll be done in 20 minutes 14 hours what let's start with the Hedge grab the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 garden shears we're not just use the electric one God no oh yeah of course now that would just make the job go 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 quickly far too dangerous far too dangerous I'm not spending the next 24 hours in a e yeah it would be more fun 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 than gardening I will give you five euro an hour five euro well I had to spend 400 Euro in all 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the garden center stuff that's supposed to make me feel better is it knowing that you spend more on the garden than you do on me I spend enough on you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 mister right yeah can we listen to a podcast no can we listen to music no can 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we listen to the radio no you can listen to the birds ocean Nature's music how's 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 going on everyone if you're here to save him Barry you can wait another two hours 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 ocean could you give me the whole pet what does it say the whole of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 sorry the I need a hoe you need you need a hoe yes 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you need a hoe yes I need a hoe well I go get you a hoe yes could you get me a hoe please 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 oh that's anaconda's cash that's what that is oh where'd you pick it up [Music] 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they're nice first they're weeds well I think there's the welfares 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they're weeds pull them up why do they look nice they may look nice 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the bees might like them but they're weeds pull them up a moment's filthy inside there's nothing 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 wrong with that glove it's brand new what is the point of a glove that's dirty on the inside 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 whether two of you now are a great help there's a b well now they are more 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 afraid of you than they have a bastard get away no do you see them there they are the delphiniums right and beside 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 them is the azaleas and here we have I think it's the Montana titilatus what 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Montana titilatus 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 maybe we could take a break and have some ice creams oh yeah you haven't done anything baby 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Magnums you know they're limited no we don't have any magnets need the frozen peas 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'll get them right that's it now 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 does it look great yeah no you should be very proud of yourself you did terrific work yeah it wasn't as bad as I thought 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 yeah and it'll be great now for when the gardeners come in tomorrow what we've given them a great head start here why 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 don't you just get the gardeners to do all this except 25 Euro an hour and the whole day rotate 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When Your Parents Won't Let You Decorate The Tree 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 rotate rotate stop that side's a bit patchy your mom it's all the same no I preferred it the other 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 way rotate rotate I don't know why your father insists on 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 getting a monstrosity of a tree every year it's far too big where does he think it's going a shopping center the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 car is destroyed pine needles everywhere AC Euro that fella in the tree place is a crook 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is this the right box but he saw your father coming anyway mom is this the Box none shed my eye mom Joe I'd say he's 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 declaring only half that money Mom I have a right mind to go back down to him Mom there is no need that's the round 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 boxes right now I leave you to decorate it off okay okay great yeah I'm getting on with 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the pudding here now okay I'd start with the lights oh yeah yeah okay okay yeah 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 from the bottom now not the top okay not the multicolored ones yeah 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 do you want to do this no ocean I don't want the flashing Mom it's like a disco I thought you were 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 leaving it to me right I'm gone I'm Gone the good decorations I need to go in the front so the people can see them from 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the road so put them put that one there there now and that that jangly one there put that to the front there I don't have 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 time to use the plum pudding here don't group the large Barbers red then goes 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 then red then be careful with my porcelain Santa you put two Barbers right beside each other that one is very 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 expensive and then you have it hidden down below here don't Clump the acorns in like that that glass angel cost me 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 seven pounds in 1995. wow I'm far too busy to be doing this now well then go I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 got this one when we were holidaying in Prague which has been a very exciting holiday Mom it's finished yes 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 rice job but we've done that all by yourself now have I 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 guess I should I would be very proud of that now it is absolutely perfect I wouldn't change a thing 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I would not change it I put those baubles up a bit maybe and I bring the lights down and I move that angel over 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 here to the center somewhere the ribbons don't go with the candy canes and I completely change these words hey 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Barry I won't even ask you how you got in you put another Christmas tree yes save yourself it's a bit big wonderfully 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 observed thank you mine's already up is it yeah well done Pat so since last 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 year [Music] needs more Brandy this is Flanagan 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 pudding delicious get out of that kitchen show me what you've touched up 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Outro 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 hey we're fortunes and hog we have a brand new sketch every single Thursday so please like subscribe and share we 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 also do live shows so check out our website for a show near you