0:00:04.964,0:00:06.555
I came here to say

0:00:07.015,0:00:08.763
that I can't take it anymore.

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I can't take it anymore, guys.

0:00:11.367,0:00:14.803
I can't stand seeing so many people

0:00:14.803,0:00:17.913
who supposedly succeed[br]at life all the time.

0:00:17.913,0:00:24.456
I can't stand seeing so many winners,[br]and wonderful people ...

0:00:24.808,0:00:25.839
I can't take it.

0:00:25.839,0:00:30.904
I can't stand seeing people who say[br]they meditate at five in the morning,

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people who have their hair[br]always washed, tidy, clean,

0:00:34.231,0:00:35.853
never have dirty hair;

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people who say they read an 800-page[br]Russian novel over the weekend;

0:00:42.684,0:00:46.267
people who post a picture[br]of a salmon filet,

0:00:46.267,0:00:48.632
with a crust of Brazil nut[br]"castanha-do-pará"

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with mashed "mandioquinha,"[br]a Brazilian root from the savannah,

0:00:52.049,0:00:53.935
accompanied by asparagus in the oven,

0:00:53.935,0:00:56.436
for Tuesday lunch!

0:00:56.436,0:00:59.232
Tuesday, a working day, at lunch ...

0:00:59.532,0:01:02.726
I can't take any more people[br]who supposedly always succeed,

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because honestly,[br]especially in this quarantine,

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I'm just focused on surviving, right?

0:01:12.014,0:01:15.605
Currently, my biggest goal of success

0:01:15.605,0:01:19.926
is to have a day that ends[br]with clean toilets,

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a fed child,

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and a marriage that doesn't look[br]like the Third World War.

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A day that ends like this, for me,[br]is a day of glory.

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But sometimes it seems[br]like we're the only ones with problems

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and who are full of flaws,[br]vulnerabilities, difficulties ...

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the only ones!

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But there's something[br]wrong with that, right?

0:01:43.846,0:01:46.778
The truth is that things[br]have always been like that, right?

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People use social media[br]to post their big successes,

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their big achievements,

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not their failures.

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But in quarantine, where everyone[br]is having a reasonably chaotic life,

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it seems that more and more[br]people appear out there

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to show that their life remains perfect,

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that their success remains intact.

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So I open my Instagram,[br]and I only see people shining, right?

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Shining in physical exercise,

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family harmony,

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housekeeping, mental balance,

0:02:22.831,0:02:24.555
food ...

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And then I start to ask myself,

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"Am I the only one?

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Am I the only one whose life is a mess?

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Am I the only one[br]with clothes on the clothesline

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that's been dry for three days?

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But I don't take them off[br]because if I do, I have to fold them,

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and if I fold them, I have to store them,[br]and I don't want to do that.

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Am I the only one who dines[br]on frozen pizza, bad pizza?

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Am I the only one who cries[br]in the bathroom from time to time,

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or every time?"

0:02:57.589,0:03:00.883
When we start making these comparisons,

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we start to feel a little indebted,

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a little defeated,

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and worst of all, we start to think[br]that normality is a life of plenty,

0:03:10.941,0:03:15.205
and our normal life is strange.

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So this is the question:

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Who are we helping

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when we show ourselves[br]as good-looking and fit,

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with the perfect marriage, wonderful[br]children, and a beautiful house?

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Who are we contributing to[br]when we do this?

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Who do we connect with

0:03:35.229,0:03:38.770
when we put ourselves[br]in this place of perfection,

0:03:38.770,0:03:40.525
of false perfection?

0:03:41.635,0:03:46.428
Some people already use[br]the term "toxic influencers"

0:03:46.428,0:03:51.716
to talk about these celebrities[br]who, even involuntarily,

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make us feel terrible,

0:03:55.819,0:03:59.512
make us feel like nothing.

0:03:59.819,0:04:05.237
We see an amazing number[br]of slim and tanned people,

0:04:05.237,0:04:09.334
in bikinis, by the pool at home,[br]with a drink, in quarantine ...

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I'm not tanned,

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I'm not slim,

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and I don't have a pool at home.

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And then we start to get[br]weirdly frustrated.

0:04:22.699,0:04:24.879
So we need to identify,

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especially at this time,[br]when we're vulnerable,

0:04:28.660,0:04:32.067
who's good for us, and who's bad.

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But there's another problem.

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As much as we've seen this toxic pattern

0:04:40.754,0:04:44.563
of behavior, life, house, body,

0:04:44.563,0:04:47.086
sometimes we end up behaving like that

0:04:47.086,0:04:51.449
in our networks, in our relationships.

0:04:51.449,0:04:53.188
We only externalize,

0:04:53.188,0:04:57.828
only post that picture[br]of the beautiful and great cake.

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When the cake is bad, we don't show it.

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We only show that angle of the picture[br]where the belly doesn't fold, you know?

0:05:05.724,0:05:08.581
I don't know because I've never found[br]that angle on my belly,

0:05:08.581,0:05:10.207
but a lot of people have.

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Some people only post that picture[br]with their sweetheart on a great day,

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when, in fact, every other day[br]was a fight, a conflict situation.

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Sometimes we're the ones[br]who don't post humanity,

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the ones who don't show normality,

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and we need normal people, real people.

0:05:32.434,0:05:36.327
So let's think about a few things -[br]five little things ... five little things.

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First thing:

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No one has to be mega-productive[br]in this quarantine.

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Everyone is distressed, tired, afraid.

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We have to fulfill our obligations[br]at work and home, and so forth,

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but do what you have to do,

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and only do more if it's pleasurable.

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We shouldn't be looking[br]for more agonizing situations.

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Second thing:

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No one is obligated to learn[br]how to cook 500 new recipes,

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no one is obligated to dance Zumba[br]in the living room

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to try to stay healthy,

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and no one is obligated to learn[br]how to be upside down in yoga.

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We have to look now[br]for what brings us comfort,

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what gives us peace of mind.

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I'll make a confession to you:[br]Do you know what brings me peace of mind?

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Doing a puzzle,

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especially one I have of Shrek.

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The moment I finish[br]putting Princess Fiona's face together

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is the moment I have peace of mind.

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I think the world will be OK,

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the coronavirus will go away,[br]and everything will be OK.

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Some people achieve this[br]by being upside down in yoga.

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I get this with Shrek's puzzle.

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Some people get that frying a hamburger.

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It doesn't matter.

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Search for what makes sense to you.

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Maybe one day, I'll learn yoga,

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but I won't challenge myself[br]any more than I do now.

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Third thing:

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Nobody has to be beautiful,[br]fit, or great right now.

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Although we see this[br]ostensibly on social media,

0:07:12.150,0:07:14.402
it's okay to be in pajamas,

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and it's okay not to wear makeup.

0:07:16.647,0:07:20.988
Look for your well-being,[br]not things that generate more anxiety.

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Fourth thing:

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Don't find it strange

0:07:25.426,0:07:29.349
that your relationship is going[br]through a difficult period.

0:07:29.689,0:07:31.363
I'll tell you a secret:

0:07:31.863,0:07:33.460
You're not alone.

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When we took a wedding vow,

0:07:36.169,0:07:40.126
no one took a vow to be at home[br]locked in with their partner.

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We made a vow imagining

0:07:42.333,0:07:45.415
that in the morning we'd say,[br]"Kisses, honey! Good morning!,"

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then we'd meet about 8,[br]10 hours later, and have a beer.

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It was cool.

0:07:49.877,0:07:53.147
Now, enforced imprisonment?[br]Nobody was counting on that.

0:07:53.477,0:07:56.497
It's natural, guys, that we're fed up,

0:07:56.497,0:07:57.945
that we have conflicts,

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that we're full of questions,

0:08:01.211,0:08:03.941
but this is not the time for us[br]to make big projections

0:08:03.941,0:08:05.447
or make big decisions.

0:08:05.447,0:08:07.003
Take a deep breath.

0:08:07.003,0:08:10.563
It's only time to make big decisions[br]in the case of domestic violence.

0:08:10.563,0:08:13.580
At that time, the decision[br]must be immediate.

0:08:13.580,0:08:15.145
Don't forget that.

0:08:15.395,0:08:16.890
Fifth thing:

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We don't have to think

0:08:18.533,0:08:21.816
that life only makes sense[br]if it's all perfect!

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Life is never perfect!

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This farce of 360-degree success,

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that everything is fine[br]in all walks of life at the same time,

0:08:31.436,0:08:32.971
doesn't exist.

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Life is made up of imperfections,[br]and that's the grace of life.

0:08:37.038,0:08:39.143
It's okay if your life isn't perfect.

0:08:39.143,0:08:40.784
That's how we must live,

0:08:40.784,0:08:45.085
and we don't have to carry[br]the burden of seeking that perfection.

0:08:45.750,0:08:49.675
Brené Brown explains[br]that showing yourself vulnerable

0:08:49.675,0:08:53.148
has nothing to do with exposing[br]your private life, your intimate life,

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or your problems.

0:08:55.352,0:09:00.378
Showing yourself vulnerable[br]has to do with being brave enough

0:09:00.378,0:09:02.584
so you don't need to pretend[br]to be perfect.

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When I accept my vulnerability,

0:09:05.937,0:09:09.003
that's when I connect[br]with people the most.

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On my social networks,

0:09:10.589,0:09:14.762
the most-welcomed posts[br]by my followers are those -

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for example, one that I made[br]recently, in which I say,

0:09:17.631,0:09:20.508
"I've been wearing a sock[br]of each pair for 15 days!"

0:09:20.508,0:09:23.884
I don't know anymore[br]where my sock pairs are.

0:09:23.884,0:09:26.715
I wear white with gray,[br]I wear black with white ...

0:09:27.055,0:09:28.527
I gave up!

0:09:28.847,0:09:32.076
The successful posts are not selfies,

0:09:32.076,0:09:34.297
all wonderful, with my best makeup,

0:09:34.297,0:09:36.102
because I can't do that.

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Humanity generates connection,

0:09:39.638,0:09:42.978
vulnerability generates identity,

0:09:42.978,0:09:46.817
and showing our faults makes people accept

0:09:46.817,0:09:50.730
that their faults are absolutely normal.

0:09:51.410,0:09:56.023
So let's show our dirty hair,[br]our sink full of dishes,

0:09:56.023,0:09:59.259
our sweatpants, our unique socks.

0:09:59.679,0:10:04.273
Let's make our presence[br]in other people's lives

0:10:04.273,0:10:07.871
a comfort, not a thorn in their side,

0:10:07.871,0:10:10.702
because our lives are full of thorns,

0:10:10.702,0:10:15.169
and all we need is a little comfort.

0:10:15.169,0:10:16.538
Thank you.

0:10:16.988,0:10:19.543
(Applause) (Cheers)

0:10:19.543,0:10:23.282
Audience: Wonderful! Powerful!

0:10:23.282,0:10:25.708
(Applause) (Cheers)

0:10:25.708,0:10:29.428
Audience: Beautiful! You rock! Very good!