WEBVTT

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I came here to say

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that I can't take it anymore.

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I can't take it anymore, guys.

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I can't stand seeing so many people

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who supposedly succeed
at life all the time.

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I can't stand seeing so many winners,
and wonderful people ...

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I can't take it.

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I can't stand seeing people who say
they meditate at five in the morning,

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people who have their hair
always washed, tidy, clean,

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never have dirty hair;

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people who say they read an 800-page
Russian novel over the weekend;

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people who post a picture
of a salmon filet,

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with a crust of Brazil nut
"castanha-do-pará"

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with mashed "mandioquinha,"
a Brazilian root from the savannah,

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accompanied by asparagus in the oven,

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for Tuesday lunch!

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Tuesday, a working day, at lunch ...

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I can't take any more people
who supposedly always succeed,

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because honestly,
especially in this quarantine,

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I'm just focused on surviving, right?

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Currently, my biggest goal of success

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is to have a day that ends
with clean toilets,

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a fed child,

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and a marriage that doesn't look
like the Third World War.

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A day that ends like this, for me,
is a day of glory.

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But sometimes it seems
like we're the only ones with problems

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and who are full of flaws,
vulnerabilities, difficulties ...

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the only ones!

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But there's something
wrong with that, right?

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The truth is that things
have always been like that, right?

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People use social media
to post their big successes,

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their big achievements,

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not their failures.

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But in quarantine, where everyone
is having a reasonably chaotic life,

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it seems that more and more
people appear out there

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to show that their life remains perfect,

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that their success remains intact.

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So I open my Instagram,
and I only see people shining, right?

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Shining in physical exercise,

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family harmony,

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housekeeping, mental balance,

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food ...

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And then I start to ask myself,

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"Am I the only one?

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Am I the only one whose life is a mess?

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Am I the only one
with clothes on the clothesline

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that's been dry for three days?

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But I don't take them off
because if I do, I have to fold them,

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and if I fold them, I have to store them,
and I don't want to do that.

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Am I the only one who dines
on frozen pizza, bad pizza?

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Am I the only one who cries
in the bathroom from time to time,

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or every time?"

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When we start making these comparisons,

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we start to feel a little indebted,

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a little defeated,

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and worst of all, we start to think
that normality is a life of plenty,

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and our normal life is strange.

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So this is the question:

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Who are we helping

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when we show ourselves
as good-looking and fit,

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with the perfect marriage, wonderful
children, and a beautiful house?

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Who are we contributing to
when we do this?

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Who do we connect with

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when we put ourselves
in this place of perfection,

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of false perfection?

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Some people already use
the term "toxic influencers"

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to talk about these celebrities
who, even involuntarily,

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make us feel terrible,

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make us feel like nothing.

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We see an amazing number
of slim and tanned people,

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in bikinis, by the pool at home,
with a drink, in quarantine ...

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I'm not tanned,

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I'm not slim,

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and I don't have a pool at home.

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And then we start to get
weirdly frustrated.

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So we need to identify,

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especially at this time,
when we're vulnerable,

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who's good for us, and who's bad.

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But there's another problem.

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As much as we've seen this toxic pattern

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of behavior, life, house, body,

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sometimes we end up behaving like that

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in our networks, in our relationships.

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We only externalize,

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only post that picture
of the beautiful and great cake.

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When the cake is bad, we don't show it.

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We only show that angle of the picture
where the belly doesn't fold, you know?

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I don't know because I've never found
that angle on my belly,

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but a lot of people have.

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Some people only post that picture
with their sweetheart on a great day,

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when, in fact, every other day
was a fight, a conflict situation.

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Sometimes we're the ones
who don't post humanity,

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the ones who don't show normality,

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and we need normal people, real people.

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So let's think about a few things -
five little things ... five little things.

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First thing:

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No one has to be mega-productive
in this quarantine.

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Everyone is distressed, tired, afraid.

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We have to fulfill our obligations
at work and home, and so forth,

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but do what you have to do,

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and only do more if it's pleasurable.

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We shouldn't be looking
for more agonizing situations.

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Second thing:

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No one is obligated to learn
how to cook 500 new recipes,

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no one is obligated to dance Zumba
in the living room

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to try to stay healthy,

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and no one is obligated to learn
how to be upside down in yoga.

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We have to look now
for what brings us comfort,

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what gives us peace of mind.

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I'll make a confession to you:
Do you know what brings me peace of mind?

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Doing a puzzle,

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especially one I have of Shrek.

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The moment I finish
putting Princess Fiona's face together

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is the moment I have peace of mind.

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I think the world will be OK,

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the coronavirus will go away,
and everything will be OK.

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Some people achieve this
by being upside down in yoga.

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I get this with Shrek's puzzle.

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Some people get that frying a hamburger.

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It doesn't matter.

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Search for what makes sense to you.

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Maybe one day, I'll learn yoga,

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but I won't challenge myself
any more than I do now.

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Third thing:

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Nobody has to be beautiful,
fit, or great right now.

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Although we see this
ostensibly on social media,

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it's okay to be in pajamas,

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and it's okay not to wear makeup.

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Look for your well-being,
not things that generate more anxiety.

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Fourth thing:

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Don't find it strange

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that your relationship is going
through a difficult period.

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I'll tell you a secret:

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You're not alone.

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When we took a wedding vow,

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no one took a vow to be at home
locked in with their partner.

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We made a vow imagining

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that in the morning we'd say,
"Kisses, honey! Good morning!,"

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then we'd meet about 8,
10 hours later, and have a beer.

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It was cool.

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Now, enforced imprisonment?
Nobody was counting on that.

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It's natural, guys, that we're fed up,

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that we have conflicts,

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that we're full of questions,

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but this is not the time for us
to make big projections

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or make big decisions.

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Take a deep breath.

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It's only time to make big decisions
in the case of domestic violence.

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At that time, the decision
must be immediate.

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Don't forget that.

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Fifth thing:

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We don't have to think

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that life only makes sense
if it's all perfect!

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Life is never perfect!

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This farce of 360-degree success,

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that everything is fine
in all walks of life at the same time,

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doesn't exist.

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Life is made up of imperfections,
and that's the grace of life.

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It's okay if your life isn't perfect.

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That's how we must live,

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and we don't have to carry
the burden of seeking that perfection.

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Brené Brown explains
that showing yourself vulnerable

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has nothing to do with exposing
your private life, your intimate life,

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or your problems.

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Showing yourself vulnerable
has to do with being brave enough

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so you don't need to pretend
to be perfect.

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When I accept my vulnerability,

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that's when I connect
with people the most.

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On my social networks,

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the most-welcomed posts
by my followers are those -

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for example, one that I made
recently, in which I say,

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"I've been wearing a sock
of each pair for 15 days!"

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I don't know anymore
where my sock pairs are.

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I wear white with gray,
I wear black with white ...

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I gave up!

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The successful posts are not selfies,

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all wonderful, with my best makeup,

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because I can't do that.

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Humanity generates connection,

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vulnerability generates identity,

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and showing our faults makes people accept

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that their faults are absolutely normal.

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So let's show our dirty hair,
our sink full of dishes,

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our sweatpants, our unique socks.

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Let's make our presence
in other people's lives

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a comfort, not a thorn in their side,

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because our lives are full of thorns,

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and all we need is a little comfort.

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Thank you.

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(Applause) (Cheers)

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Audience: Wonderful! Powerful!

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(Applause) (Cheers)

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Audience: Beautiful! You rock! Very good!