WEBVTT 00:00:00.858 --> 00:00:04.573 So a while ago, I tried an experiment. 00:00:04.573 --> 00:00:08.891 For one year, I would say yes to all the things that scared me. 00:00:08.891 --> 00:00:12.188 Anything that made me nervous, took me out of my comfort zone, 00:00:12.188 --> 00:00:14.603 I forced myself to say yes to. 00:00:14.603 --> 00:00:16.229 Did I want to speak in public? 00:00:16.229 --> 00:00:18.434 No, but yes. 00:00:18.434 --> 00:00:20.385 Did I want to be on live TV? 00:00:20.385 --> 00:00:22.707 No, but yes. 00:00:22.707 --> 00:00:24.518 Did I want to try acting? 00:00:24.518 --> 00:00:27.559 No, no, no, but yes, yes, yes. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:27.559 --> 00:00:29.556 And a crazy thing happened: 00:00:29.556 --> 00:00:32.343 the very act of doing the thing that scared me 00:00:32.343 --> 00:00:34.107 undid the fear, 00:00:34.107 --> 00:00:35.663 made it not scary. 00:00:35.663 --> 00:00:40.794 My fear of public speaking, my social anxiety, poof, gone. 00:00:40.794 --> 00:00:43.813 It's amazing the power of one word. 00:00:43.813 --> 00:00:46.042 "Yes" changed my life. 00:00:46.042 --> 00:00:47.644 "Yes" changed me. 00:00:47.644 --> 00:00:49.896 But there was one particular yes 00:00:49.896 --> 00:00:52.613 that affected my life in the most profound way, 00:00:52.613 --> 00:00:54.633 in a way that I never imagined, 00:00:54.633 --> 00:00:58.334 and it started with a question from my toddler. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:58.334 --> 00:01:01.771 I have these three amazing daughters, Harper, Beckett, and Emerson, 00:01:01.771 --> 00:01:05.393 and Emerson is a toddler who inexplicably refers to everyone as "Honey" 00:01:05.393 --> 00:01:07.227 as though she's a Southern waitress. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:07.227 --> 00:01:08.411 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:08.411 --> 00:01:11.476 "Honey I'm gonna need some milk for my sippy cup." NOTE Paragraph 00:01:11.476 --> 00:01:13.148 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:13.148 --> 00:01:16.306 The Southern waitress asked me to play with her one evening 00:01:16.306 --> 00:01:19.022 when I was on my way somewhere, and I said, "Yes." 00:01:19.022 --> 00:01:23.178 And that yes was the beginning of a new way of life for my family. 00:01:23.178 --> 00:01:24.920 I made a vow that from now on, 00:01:24.920 --> 00:01:27.567 every time one of my children asks me to play, 00:01:27.567 --> 00:01:30.107 no matter what I'm doing or where I'm going, 00:01:30.107 --> 00:01:33.961 I say yes, every single time. 00:01:33.961 --> 00:01:37.931 Almost. I'm not perfect at it, but I try hard to practice it. 00:01:37.931 --> 00:01:40.601 And it's had a magical effect on me, 00:01:40.601 --> 00:01:43.736 on my children, on our family. 00:01:43.736 --> 00:01:46.476 But it's also had a stunning side effect, 00:01:46.476 --> 00:01:50.168 and it wasn't until recently that I fully understood it, 00:01:50.168 --> 00:01:53.651 that I understood that saying yes to playing with my children 00:01:53.651 --> 00:01:56.971 likely saved my career. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:56.971 --> 00:01:59.734 See, I have what most people would call a dream job. 00:01:59.734 --> 00:02:02.985 I'm a writer. I imagine. I make stuff up for a living. 00:02:02.985 --> 00:02:04.355 Dream job. 00:02:04.355 --> 00:02:05.678 No. 00:02:05.678 --> 00:02:07.327 I'm a titan. 00:02:07.327 --> 00:02:08.766 Dream job. 00:02:08.766 --> 00:02:11.251 I create television. I executive produce television. 00:02:11.251 --> 00:02:14.269 I make television, a great deal of television. 00:02:14.269 --> 00:02:16.196 In one way or another, this TV season, 00:02:16.196 --> 00:02:19.726 I'm responsible for bringing about 70 hours of programming to the world. 00:02:19.726 --> 00:02:22.535 Four television programs, 70 hours of TV -- (Applause) -- 00:02:22.535 --> 00:02:25.414 three shows in production, at a time, sometimes four. 00:02:25.414 --> 00:02:28.688 Each show creates hundreds of jobs that didn't exist before. 00:02:28.688 --> 00:02:31.381 The budget for one episode of network television can be 00:02:31.381 --> 00:02:33.216 anywhere from three to six million dollars. 00:02:33.216 --> 00:02:34.818 Let's just say five. 00:02:34.818 --> 00:02:37.047 A new episode made every nine days times four shows, 00:02:37.047 --> 00:02:39.787 so every nine days that's 20 million dollars worth of television, 00:02:39.787 --> 00:02:43.014 four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in production at a time, 00:02:43.014 --> 00:02:44.059 sometimes four, 00:02:44.059 --> 00:02:46.288 16 episodes going on at all times: 00:02:46.288 --> 00:02:48.633 24 episodes of Grey's, 21 episodes of Scandal, 00:02:48.633 --> 00:02:51.071 15 episodes of How To Get Away With Murder, 00:02:51.071 --> 00:02:52.418 10 episodes of the Catch, that's 70 hours of TV, 00:02:52.418 --> 00:02:54.647 that's 350 million dollars for a season. 00:02:54.647 --> 00:02:57.526 In America, my television shows are back to back to back 00:02:57.526 --> 00:02:58.896 on Thursday night. 00:02:58.896 --> 00:03:02.959 Around the world, my shows air in 256 territories in 67 languages 00:03:02.959 --> 00:03:04.608 for an audience of 30 million people. 00:03:04.608 --> 00:03:06.860 My brain is global, 00:03:06.860 --> 00:03:10.389 and 45 hours of that 70 hours of TV are shows I personally created 00:03:10.389 --> 00:03:12.804 and not just produced, so on top of everything else, 00:03:12.804 --> 00:03:16.264 I need to find time, real quiet creative time, 00:03:16.264 --> 00:03:18.632 to gather my fans around the campfire 00:03:18.632 --> 00:03:20.304 and tell my stories. 00:03:20.304 --> 00:03:23.647 Four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in production at a time, 00:03:23.647 --> 00:03:28.454 sometimes four, 350 million dollars, campfires burning all over the world. 00:03:28.454 --> 00:03:30.799 You know who else is doing that? 00:03:30.799 --> 00:03:33.492 Nobody, so like I said, I'm a titan. 00:03:33.492 --> 00:03:35.234 Dream job. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:35.234 --> 00:03:36.673 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:36.673 --> 00:03:38.624 Now I don't tell you this to impress you. 00:03:38.624 --> 00:03:42.584 I tell you this because I know what you think of when you hear the word "writer." 00:03:42.584 --> 00:03:45.487 I tell you this so that all of you out there who work so hard, 00:03:45.487 --> 00:03:48.969 whether you run a company or a country or a classroom 00:03:48.969 --> 00:03:51.361 or a store or a home 00:03:51.361 --> 00:03:54.356 take me seriously when I talk about working, 00:03:54.356 --> 00:03:58.002 so you'll get that I don't peck at a computer and imagine all day, 00:03:58.002 --> 00:04:00.022 so you'll hear me when I say 00:04:00.022 --> 00:04:04.201 that I understand that a dream job is not about dreaming. 00:04:04.201 --> 00:04:09.518 It's all job, all work, all reality, all blood, all sweat, no tears. 00:04:09.518 --> 00:04:14.116 I work a lot, very hard, and I love it. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:14.116 --> 00:04:16.461 When I'm hard at work, when I'm deep in it, 00:04:16.461 --> 00:04:18.899 there is no other feeling. 00:04:18.899 --> 00:04:22.405 For me my work is at all times building a nation out of thin air. 00:04:22.405 --> 00:04:24.982 It is manning the troops. It is painting a canvas. 00:04:24.982 --> 00:04:27.467 It is hitting every high note. It is running a marathon. 00:04:27.467 --> 00:04:29.533 It is being Beyonce. 00:04:29.533 --> 00:04:32.668 And it is all of those things at the same time. 00:04:32.668 --> 00:04:34.808 I love working. 00:04:34.808 --> 00:04:37.849 It is creative and mechanical and exhausting and exhilarating 00:04:37.849 --> 00:04:40.334 and hilarious and disturbing and clinical and maternal 00:04:40.334 --> 00:04:41.959 and cruel and judicious, 00:04:41.959 --> 00:04:45.651 and what makes it all so good is the hum. 00:04:45.651 --> 00:04:48.577 There is some kind of shift inside me when the work gets good. 00:04:48.577 --> 00:04:51.386 A hum begins in my brain, 00:04:51.386 --> 00:04:54.706 and it grows and it grows and that hum sounds like the open road, 00:04:54.706 --> 00:04:57.028 and I could drive it forever. 00:04:57.028 --> 00:05:00.070 And a lot of people, when I try to explain the hum, 00:05:00.070 --> 00:05:02.740 they assume that I'm talking about the writing, 00:05:02.740 --> 00:05:04.249 that my writing brings me joy. 00:05:04.249 --> 00:05:07.059 And don't get me wrong, it does. 00:05:07.059 --> 00:05:08.963 But the hum, 00:05:08.963 --> 00:05:11.378 it wasn't until I started making television 00:05:11.378 --> 00:05:13.909 that I started working, working and making 00:05:13.909 --> 00:05:16.741 and building and creative and collaborating, 00:05:16.741 --> 00:05:21.664 that I discovered this thing, this buzz, this rush, this hum. 00:05:21.664 --> 00:05:23.800 The hum is more than writing. 00:05:23.800 --> 00:05:27.306 The hum is action and activity. The hum is a drug. 00:05:27.306 --> 00:05:29.999 The hum is music. The hum is light and air. 00:05:29.999 --> 00:05:33.668 The hum is God's whisper right in my ear. 00:05:33.668 --> 00:05:36.083 And when you have a hum like that, 00:05:36.083 --> 00:05:38.892 you can't help but strive for greatness. 00:05:38.892 --> 00:05:43.559 That feeling, you can't help but strive for greatness at any cost. 00:05:43.559 --> 00:05:46.090 That's called the hum. 00:05:46.090 --> 00:05:49.898 Or maybe it's called being a workaholic. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:49.898 --> 00:05:51.570 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:51.570 --> 00:05:53.822 Maybe it's called genius. 00:05:53.822 --> 00:05:56.771 Maybe it's called ego. 00:05:56.771 --> 00:05:59.348 Maybe it's just fear of failure. 00:05:59.348 --> 00:06:01.182 I don't know. 00:06:01.182 --> 00:06:05.246 I just know that I'm not built for failure, 00:06:05.246 --> 00:06:07.730 and I just know that I love the hum. 00:06:07.730 --> 00:06:10.099 I just know that I want to tell you I'm a titan, 00:06:10.099 --> 00:06:12.653 and I know that I don't want to question it. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:12.653 --> 00:06:14.905 But here's the thing: 00:06:14.905 --> 00:06:16.902 the more successful I become, 00:06:16.902 --> 00:06:20.222 the more shows, the more episodes, the more barriers broken, 00:06:20.222 --> 00:06:23.101 the more work there is to do, 00:06:23.101 --> 00:06:24.448 the more balls in the air, 00:06:24.448 --> 00:06:27.048 the more eyes on me, the more history stares, 00:06:27.048 --> 00:06:29.533 the more expectations there are. 00:06:29.533 --> 00:06:31.576 The more I work to be successful. 00:06:31.576 --> 00:06:34.037 the more I need to work. 00:06:34.037 --> 00:06:35.872 And what did I say about work? 00:06:35.872 --> 00:06:37.835 I love working, right? 00:06:37.835 --> 00:06:39.670 The nation I'm building, the marathon running, 00:06:39.670 --> 00:06:41.736 the troops, the canvas, the high note, the hum, 00:06:41.736 --> 00:06:44.267 the hum, the hum. 00:06:44.267 --> 00:06:46.380 I like that hum. I love that hum. 00:06:46.380 --> 00:06:49.398 I need that hum. I am that hum. 00:06:49.398 --> 00:06:52.092 Am I nothing but that hum? NOTE Paragraph 00:06:52.092 --> 00:06:55.575 And then the hum stopped. 00:06:55.575 --> 00:06:58.797 Overworked, overused, 00:06:58.797 --> 00:06:59.842 overdone, burned out. 00:06:59.842 --> 00:07:02.513 The hum stopped. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:02.513 --> 00:07:05.694 Now, my three daughters are used to the truth 00:07:05.694 --> 00:07:08.782 that their mother is a single working titan. 00:07:08.782 --> 00:07:10.035 Harper tells people, 00:07:10.035 --> 00:07:13.402 "My mom won't be there but you can text my nanny." 00:07:13.402 --> 00:07:17.396 And Emerson says, "Honey, I'm wanting to go to Shondaland." 00:07:17.396 --> 00:07:19.323 They're children of a titan. 00:07:19.323 --> 00:07:21.691 They're baby titans. 00:07:21.691 --> 00:07:26.033 They were 12, 3, and 1 when the hum stopped. 00:07:26.033 --> 00:07:28.100 The hum of the engine died. 00:07:28.100 --> 00:07:30.538 I stopped loving work. I couldn't restart the engine. 00:07:30.538 --> 00:07:32.628 The hum would not come back. 00:07:32.628 --> 00:07:35.785 My hum was broken. 00:07:35.785 --> 00:07:39.407 I was doing the same things I always did, all the same titan work, 00:07:39.407 --> 00:07:41.962 15 hour days, working straight through the weekends, 00:07:41.962 --> 00:07:45.096 no regrets, never surrender, a titan never sleeps, a titan never quits, 00:07:45.096 --> 00:07:48.300 full hearts, clear eyes, yada, whatever. 00:07:48.300 --> 00:07:50.297 But there was no hum. 00:07:50.297 --> 00:07:52.447 Inside me was silence. 00:07:54.212 --> 00:07:57.811 Four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in production at a time, 00:07:57.811 --> 00:08:00.510 sometimes four. I was the perfect titan. 00:08:02.752 --> 00:08:07.745 I was a titan you could take home to your mother. 00:08:07.745 --> 00:08:12.783 All the colors were the same, and I was no longer having any fun. 00:08:12.783 --> 00:08:15.082 And it was my life. 00:08:15.082 --> 00:08:16.428 It was all I did. 00:08:16.428 --> 00:08:19.772 I was the hum, and the hum was me. 00:08:19.772 --> 00:08:22.047 So what do you do when the thing you do, 00:08:22.047 --> 00:08:26.157 the work you love, starts to taste like dust? NOTE Paragraph 00:08:26.157 --> 00:08:28.874 Now, I know somebody's out there thinking, "Cry me a river, 00:08:28.874 --> 00:08:31.335 stupid writer titan lady." NOTE Paragraph 00:08:31.335 --> 00:08:32.775 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:32.775 --> 00:08:34.377 But you know, you do, 00:08:34.377 --> 00:08:37.256 if you make, if you work, if you love what you do, 00:08:37.256 --> 00:08:40.182 being a teacher, being a banker, being a mother, being a painter, 00:08:40.182 --> 00:08:41.482 being Bill Gates, 00:08:41.482 --> 00:08:44.895 if you simply love another person and that gives you the hum, 00:08:44.895 --> 00:08:46.567 if you know the hum, 00:08:46.567 --> 00:08:48.355 if you know what the hum feels like, 00:08:48.355 --> 00:08:50.491 if you have been to the hum, 00:08:50.491 --> 00:08:54.066 when the hum stops, who are you? 00:08:54.066 --> 00:08:58.432 What are you? What am I? 00:08:58.432 --> 00:09:01.334 Am I still a titan? 00:09:01.334 --> 00:09:06.814 If the song of my heart ceases to play, can I survive in the silence? NOTE Paragraph 00:09:06.814 --> 00:09:12.038 And then my southern waitress toddler asks me a question. 00:09:12.038 --> 00:09:15.846 I'm on my way out the door, I'm late, and she says, 00:09:15.846 --> 00:09:18.957 "Momma, wanna play?" NOTE Paragraph 00:09:18.957 --> 00:09:22.185 And I'm just about to say no, when I realize two things. 00:09:22.185 --> 00:09:25.342 One, I'm supposed to say yes to everything, 00:09:25.342 --> 00:09:29.770 and two, my Southern waitress didn't call me "Honey." 00:09:29.770 --> 00:09:32.324 She's not calling everyone "Honey" anymore. 00:09:32.324 --> 00:09:34.274 When did that happen? 00:09:34.274 --> 00:09:37.084 I'm missing it, being a titan and mourning my hum, 00:09:37.084 --> 00:09:40.544 and here she is changing right before my eyes. 00:09:40.544 --> 00:09:43.933 And so she says, "Mamma, wanna play?" 00:09:43.933 --> 00:09:46.139 And I say, "Yes." 00:09:46.139 --> 00:09:48.833 There's nothing special about it. 00:09:48.833 --> 00:09:51.480 We play, and we're joined by her sisters, 00:09:51.480 --> 00:09:52.803 and there's a lot of laughing, 00:09:52.803 --> 00:09:56.425 and I give a dramatic reading from the book "Everybody poops." 00:09:56.425 --> 00:09:59.142 Nothing out of the ordinary. (Laughter) 00:09:59.142 --> 00:10:01.394 And yet, it is extraordinary, 00:10:01.394 --> 00:10:03.879 because in my pain and my panic, 00:10:03.879 --> 00:10:05.945 in the homelessness of my humlessness, 00:10:05.945 --> 00:10:08.476 I have nothing to do but pay attention. 00:10:08.476 --> 00:10:10.241 I focus. 00:10:10.241 --> 00:10:11.959 I am still. 00:10:11.959 --> 00:10:14.211 The nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running, 00:10:14.211 --> 00:10:18.646 the troops, the canvas, the high note, does not exist. 00:10:18.646 --> 00:10:21.223 All that exists are sticky fingers and gooey kisses 00:10:21.223 --> 00:10:23.824 and tiny voices and crayons, 00:10:23.824 --> 00:10:26.796 and that song about letting go of whatever it is that frozen girl 00:10:26.796 --> 00:10:29.405 needs to let go of. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:29.405 --> 00:10:30.473 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:30.473 --> 00:10:34.119 It's all peace and simplicity. 00:10:34.119 --> 00:10:38.368 The air is so rare in this place for me that I can barely breathe. 00:10:38.368 --> 00:10:41.154 I can barely believe I'm breathing. 00:10:41.154 --> 00:10:44.730 Play is the opposite of work. 00:10:44.730 --> 00:10:48.236 And I am happy. Something in me loosens. 00:10:48.236 --> 00:10:53.065 A door in my brain swings open, and a rush of energy comes. 00:10:53.065 --> 00:10:56.850 And it's not instantaneous, but it happens, it does happen. 00:10:56.850 --> 00:10:58.708 I feel it. 00:10:58.708 --> 00:11:00.565 A hum creeps back, 00:11:00.565 --> 00:11:03.375 not at full volume, barely there, 00:11:03.375 --> 00:11:06.556 it's quiet, but and I have to stay very still to hear it, but it is there. 00:11:06.556 --> 00:11:10.155 Not the hum, but a hum. NOTE Paragraph 00:11:10.155 --> 00:11:14.032 And now I feel like I know a very magical secret. 00:11:14.032 --> 00:11:16.354 Well, let's not get carried away. 00:11:16.354 --> 00:11:20.928 It's just love. That's all it is. 00:11:20.928 --> 00:11:24.132 No magic. No secret. It's just love. 00:11:24.132 --> 00:11:26.710 It's just something we forgot. 00:11:26.710 --> 00:11:30.146 The hum, the work hum, the hum of the titan, 00:11:30.146 --> 00:11:32.236 that's just a replacement. 00:11:32.236 --> 00:11:34.488 If I have to ask you who I am, 00:11:34.488 --> 00:11:36.578 if I have to tell you who I am, 00:11:36.578 --> 00:11:38.853 if I describe myself in terms of shows 00:11:38.853 --> 00:11:42.870 and hours of television and how globally badass my brain is, 00:11:42.870 --> 00:11:46.399 I have forgotten what the real hum is. 00:11:46.399 --> 00:11:51.066 The hum is not power and the hum is not work-specific. 00:11:51.066 --> 00:11:53.249 The hum is joy-specific. 00:11:53.249 --> 00:11:55.362 The real hum is love-specific. 00:11:55.362 --> 00:11:59.147 The hum is the electricity that comes from being excited by life. 00:11:59.147 --> 00:12:01.863 The real hum is confidence and peace. 00:12:01.863 --> 00:12:04.348 The real hum ignores the stare of history, 00:12:04.348 --> 00:12:07.389 and the balls in the air, and the expectation, and the pressure. 00:12:07.389 --> 00:12:10.338 The real hum is singular and original. 00:12:10.338 --> 00:12:12.683 The real hum is God's whisper in my ear 00:12:12.683 --> 00:12:15.052 but maybe God was whispering the wrong words, 00:12:15.052 --> 00:12:18.929 because which one of the gods was telling me I was the titan? NOTE Paragraph 00:12:18.929 --> 00:12:21.135 It's just love. 00:12:21.135 --> 00:12:24.107 We could all use a little more love, 00:12:24.107 --> 00:12:26.475 a lot more love. 00:12:26.475 --> 00:12:31.398 Any time my child asks me to play, I will say yes. 00:12:31.398 --> 00:12:33.302 I make it a firm rule for one reason, 00:12:33.302 --> 00:12:37.156 to give myself permission, to free me from all of my workaholic guilt. 00:12:37.156 --> 00:12:39.571 It's a law, so I don't have a choice, 00:12:39.571 --> 00:12:41.916 and I don't have a choice, 00:12:41.916 --> 00:12:44.122 not if I want to feel the hum. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:44.122 --> 00:12:46.026 I wish it were that easy, 00:12:46.026 --> 00:12:49.509 but I'm not good at playing. 00:12:49.509 --> 00:12:51.714 I don't like it. 00:12:51.714 --> 00:12:57.542 I'm not interested in doing it the way I'm interested in doing work. 00:12:57.542 --> 00:13:00.979 The truth is incredibly humbling and humiliating to face. 00:13:00.979 --> 00:13:02.581 I don't like playing. 00:13:02.581 --> 00:13:05.483 I work all the time because I like working. 00:13:05.483 --> 00:13:09.965 I like working more than I like being at home. 00:13:09.965 --> 00:13:14.144 Facing that fact is incredibly difficult to handle, 00:13:14.144 --> 00:13:21.296 because what kind of person likes working more than being at home? NOTE Paragraph 00:13:21.296 --> 00:13:24.151 Well, me. 00:13:24.151 --> 00:13:27.379 I mean, let's be honest, I call myself a titan. 00:13:27.379 --> 00:13:29.585 I've got issues. 00:13:29.585 --> 00:13:33.532 And one of those issues isn't that I'm too relaxed. NOTE Paragraph 00:13:33.532 --> 00:13:35.668 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:13:35.668 --> 00:13:38.129 We run around the yard, up and back and up and back. 00:13:38.129 --> 00:13:42.216 We have 30-second dance parties. 00:13:42.216 --> 00:13:45.374 We sing show tunes. We play with balls. 00:13:45.374 --> 00:13:47.603 I blow bubbles and they pop them. 00:13:47.603 --> 00:13:53.059 Then I feel stiff and delirious and confused most of the time. 00:13:53.059 --> 00:13:56.263 I itch for my cell phone always. 00:13:56.263 --> 00:13:57.935 But it is okay. 00:13:57.935 --> 00:14:02.718 My tiny humans show me how to live and the hum of the universe fills me up. 00:14:02.718 --> 00:14:05.969 I play and I play until I begin to wonder 00:14:05.969 --> 00:14:09.568 why we ever stopped playing in the first place. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:09.568 --> 00:14:11.611 You can do it too, 00:14:11.611 --> 00:14:15.187 say yes every time your child asks you to play. 00:14:15.187 --> 00:14:18.619 Are you thinking that maybe I'm an idiot in diamond shoes? 00:14:18.619 --> 00:14:18.869 You're right, but you can still do this. 00:14:20.453 --> 00:14:23.100 You have time. 00:14:23.100 --> 00:14:26.792 You know why? Because you're not Rihanna and you're not a muppet. 00:14:26.792 --> 00:14:29.206 Your child does not think you're that interesting. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:29.206 --> 00:14:30.716 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:14:30.716 --> 00:14:32.573 You only need 15 minutes. 00:14:32.573 --> 00:14:35.336 My two and four year old only ever want to play with me 00:14:35.336 --> 00:14:38.215 for about 15 minutes or so before they think to themselves 00:14:38.215 --> 00:14:39.655 they want to do something else. 00:14:39.655 --> 00:14:43.370 It's an amazing 15 minutes, but it's 15 minutes. 00:14:43.370 --> 00:14:47.387 If I'm not a ladybug or a piece of candy, I'm invisible after 15 minutes. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:47.387 --> 00:14:48.362 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:14:48.362 --> 00:14:52.774 And my 13-year old, if I can get a 13-year old to talk to me for 15 minutes 00:14:52.774 --> 00:14:55.385 I'm Parent of the Year. 00:14:55.385 --> 00:14:56.337 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:14:56.337 --> 00:14:58.218 15 minutes is all you need. 00:14:58.218 --> 00:15:03.280 I can totally pull off 15 minutes of uninterrupted time on my worst day. 00:15:03.280 --> 00:15:05.462 Uninterrupted is the key. 00:15:05.462 --> 00:15:08.109 No cell phone, no laundry, no anything. 00:15:08.109 --> 00:15:10.074 You have a busy life. You have to get dinner on the table. 00:15:10.074 --> 00:15:13.083 You have to force them to bathe. But you can do 15 minutes. 00:15:14.314 --> 00:15:16.728 My kids are my happy place, they're my world, 00:15:16.728 --> 00:15:19.190 but it doesn't have to be your kids, 00:15:19.190 --> 00:15:23.183 the fuel that feeds your hum, the place where life feels more good than not good. 00:15:23.183 --> 00:15:25.645 It's not about playing with your kids, 00:15:25.645 --> 00:15:27.177 it's about joy. 00:15:27.177 --> 00:15:29.986 It's about playing in general. 00:15:29.986 --> 00:15:32.215 Give yourself the 15 minutes. 00:15:32.215 --> 00:15:34.491 Find what makes you feel good. 00:15:34.491 --> 00:15:38.067 Just figure it out and play in that arena. NOTE Paragraph 00:15:38.067 --> 00:15:43.152 I'm not perfect at it. In fact, I fail as often as I succeed: 00:15:43.152 --> 00:15:46.495 seeing friends, reading books, staring into space. 00:15:46.495 --> 00:15:49.769 "Wanna play?" starts to become shorthand for indulging myself 00:15:49.769 --> 00:15:54.134 in ways I'd given up on right around the time I got my first TV show, 00:15:54.134 --> 00:15:56.735 right around the time I became a titan in training, 00:15:56.735 --> 00:16:00.798 right around the time I started competing with myself for ways unknown. 00:16:00.798 --> 00:16:04.885 15 minutes? What could be wrong with giving myself my full attention 00:16:04.885 --> 00:16:06.742 for 15 minutes? 00:16:06.742 --> 00:16:08.925 Turns out, nothing. 00:16:08.925 --> 00:16:13.081 The very act of not working has made it possible for the hum to return, 00:16:13.081 --> 00:16:17.353 as if the hum's engine could only refuel while I was away. 00:16:17.353 --> 00:16:20.743 Work doesn't work without play. NOTE Paragraph 00:16:20.743 --> 00:16:24.040 It takes a little time, but after a few months, 00:16:24.040 --> 00:16:26.432 one day the floodgates open 00:16:26.432 --> 00:16:29.775 and there's a rush, and I find myself standing in my office 00:16:29.775 --> 00:16:34.071 filled with an unfamiliar melody, full on groove inside me, 00:16:34.071 --> 00:16:36.486 and around me, and it sends me spinning with ideas, 00:16:36.486 --> 00:16:39.806 and the humming road is open, and I can drive it and drive it, 00:16:39.806 --> 00:16:42.267 and I love working again. 00:16:42.267 --> 00:16:45.959 But now, I like that hum, but I don't love that hum. 00:16:45.959 --> 00:16:47.283 I don't need that hum. 00:16:47.283 --> 00:16:50.417 I am not that hum. That hum is not me, 00:16:50.417 --> 00:16:52.298 not anymore. 00:16:52.298 --> 00:16:55.920 I am bubbles and sticky fingers and dinners with friends. 00:16:55.920 --> 00:16:57.661 I am that hum. 00:16:57.661 --> 00:16:58.962 Life's hum. 00:16:58.962 --> 00:17:00.401 Love's hum. 00:17:00.401 --> 00:17:04.952 Work's hum is still a piece of me, it is just no longer all of me, 00:17:04.952 --> 00:17:07.251 and I am so grateful. 00:17:07.251 --> 00:17:09.224 And I don't give a crap about being a titan, 00:17:09.224 --> 00:17:13.938 because I have never once seen a titan play Red Rover, Red Rover. NOTE Paragraph 00:17:13.938 --> 00:17:18.024 I said yes to less work and more play, and somehow I still run my world. 00:17:18.024 --> 00:17:21.414 My brain is still global. My campfires still burn. 00:17:21.414 --> 00:17:25.640 The more I play, the happier I am, and the happier my kids are. 00:17:25.640 --> 00:17:29.402 The more I play, the more I feel like a good mother. 00:17:29.402 --> 00:17:31.886 The more I play, the freer my mind becomes. 00:17:31.886 --> 00:17:33.767 The more I play, the better I work. 00:17:33.767 --> 00:17:36.321 The more I play, the more I feel the hum, 00:17:36.321 --> 00:17:38.271 the nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running, 00:17:38.271 --> 00:17:41.127 the troops, the canvas, the high note, the hum, the hum, 00:17:41.127 --> 00:17:44.216 the other hum, the real hum, 00:17:44.216 --> 00:17:45.771 life's hum. 00:17:45.771 --> 00:17:48.441 The more I feel that hum, the more this strange, 00:17:48.441 --> 00:17:51.785 quivering, un-cocooned, awkward, brand new, 00:17:51.785 --> 00:17:54.919 alive non-titan feels like me. 00:17:54.919 --> 00:17:58.333 The more I feel that hum, the more I know who I am. 00:17:58.333 --> 00:18:01.862 I'm a writer, I make stuff up, I imagine. 00:18:01.862 --> 00:18:05.322 That part of the job, that's living the dream. 00:18:05.322 --> 00:18:07.876 That's the dream of the job. 00:18:07.876 --> 00:18:11.684 Because a dream job should be a little bit dreamy. NOTE Paragraph 00:18:11.684 --> 00:18:15.422 I said yes to less work and more play. 00:18:15.422 --> 00:18:18.069 Titans need not apply. NOTE Paragraph 00:18:18.069 --> 00:18:19.950 Wanna play? NOTE Paragraph 00:18:19.950 --> 00:18:21.737 Thank you. NOTE Paragraph 00:18:21.737 --> 00:18:31.183 (Applause)