1 00:00:00,858 --> 00:00:04,573 So a while ago, I tried an experiment. 2 00:00:04,573 --> 00:00:08,891 For one year, I would say yes to all the things that scared me. 3 00:00:08,891 --> 00:00:12,188 Anything that made me nervous, took me out of my comfort zone, 4 00:00:12,188 --> 00:00:14,603 I forced myself to say yes to. 5 00:00:14,603 --> 00:00:16,229 Did I want to speak in public? 6 00:00:16,229 --> 00:00:18,434 No, but yes. 7 00:00:18,434 --> 00:00:20,385 Did I want to be on live TV? 8 00:00:20,385 --> 00:00:22,707 No, but yes. 9 00:00:22,707 --> 00:00:24,518 Did I want to try acting? 10 00:00:24,518 --> 00:00:27,559 No, no, no, but yes, yes, yes. 11 00:00:27,559 --> 00:00:29,556 And a crazy thing happened: 12 00:00:29,556 --> 00:00:32,343 the very act of doing the thing that scared me 13 00:00:32,343 --> 00:00:34,107 undid the fear, 14 00:00:34,107 --> 00:00:35,663 made it not scary. 15 00:00:35,663 --> 00:00:40,794 My fear of public speaking, my social anxiety, poof, gone. 16 00:00:40,794 --> 00:00:43,813 It's amazing the power of one word. 17 00:00:43,813 --> 00:00:46,042 "Yes" changed my life. 18 00:00:46,042 --> 00:00:47,644 "Yes" changed me. 19 00:00:47,644 --> 00:00:49,896 But there was one particular yes 20 00:00:49,896 --> 00:00:52,613 that affected my life in the most profound way, 21 00:00:52,613 --> 00:00:54,633 in a way that I never imagined, 22 00:00:54,633 --> 00:00:58,334 and it started with a question from my toddler. 23 00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:01,771 I have these three amazing daughters, Harper, Beckett, and Emerson, 24 00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:05,393 and Emerson is a toddler who inexplicably refers to everyone as "Honey" 25 00:01:05,393 --> 00:01:07,227 as though she's a Southern waitress. 26 00:01:07,227 --> 00:01:08,411 (Laughter) 27 00:01:08,411 --> 00:01:11,476 "Honey I'm gonna need some milk for my sippy cup." 28 00:01:11,476 --> 00:01:13,148 (Laughter) 29 00:01:13,148 --> 00:01:16,306 The Southern waitress asked me to play with her one evening 30 00:01:16,306 --> 00:01:19,022 when I was on my way somewhere, and I said, "Yes." 31 00:01:19,022 --> 00:01:23,178 And that yes was the beginning of a new way of life for my family. 32 00:01:23,178 --> 00:01:24,920 I made a vow that from now on, 33 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,567 every time one of my children asks me to play, 34 00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:30,107 no matter what I'm doing or where I'm going, 35 00:01:30,107 --> 00:01:33,961 I say yes, every single time. 36 00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:37,931 Almost. I'm not perfect at it, but I try hard to practice it. 37 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,601 And it's had a magical effect on me, 38 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,736 on my children, on our family. 39 00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:46,476 But it's also had a stunning side effect, 40 00:01:46,476 --> 00:01:50,168 and it wasn't until recently that I fully understood it, 41 00:01:50,168 --> 00:01:53,651 that I understood that saying yes to playing with my children 42 00:01:53,651 --> 00:01:56,971 likely saved my career. 43 00:01:56,971 --> 00:01:59,734 See, I have what most people would call a dream job. 44 00:01:59,734 --> 00:02:02,985 I'm a writer. I imagine. I make stuff up for a living. 45 00:02:02,985 --> 00:02:04,355 Dream job. 46 00:02:04,355 --> 00:02:05,678 No. 47 00:02:05,678 --> 00:02:07,327 I'm a titan. 48 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:08,766 Dream job. 49 00:02:08,766 --> 00:02:11,251 I create television. I executive produce television. 50 00:02:11,251 --> 00:02:14,269 I make television, a great deal of television. 51 00:02:14,269 --> 00:02:16,196 In one way or another, this TV season, 52 00:02:16,196 --> 00:02:19,726 I'm responsible for bringing about 70 hours of programming to the world. 53 00:02:19,726 --> 00:02:22,535 Four television programs, 70 hours of TV -- (Applause) -- 54 00:02:22,535 --> 00:02:25,414 three shows in production, at a time, sometimes four. 55 00:02:25,414 --> 00:02:28,688 Each show creates hundreds of jobs that didn't exist before. 56 00:02:28,688 --> 00:02:31,381 The budget for one episode of network television can be 57 00:02:31,381 --> 00:02:33,216 anywhere from three to six million dollars. 58 00:02:33,216 --> 00:02:34,818 Let's just say five. 59 00:02:34,818 --> 00:02:37,047 A new episode made every nine days times four shows, 60 00:02:37,047 --> 00:02:39,787 so every nine days that's 20 million dollars worth of television, 61 00:02:39,787 --> 00:02:43,014 four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in production at a time, 62 00:02:43,014 --> 00:02:44,059 sometimes four, 63 00:02:44,059 --> 00:02:46,288 16 episodes going on at all times: 64 00:02:46,288 --> 00:02:48,633 24 episodes of Grey's, 21 episodes of Scandal, 65 00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:51,071 15 episodes of How To Get Away With Murder, 66 00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,418 10 episodes of the Catch, that's 70 hours of TV, 67 00:02:52,418 --> 00:02:54,647 that's 350 million dollars for a season. 68 00:02:54,647 --> 00:02:57,526 In America, my television shows are back to back to back 69 00:02:57,526 --> 00:02:58,896 on Thursday night. 70 00:02:58,896 --> 00:03:02,959 Around the world, my shows air in 256 territories in 67 languages 71 00:03:02,959 --> 00:03:04,608 for an audience of 30 million people. 72 00:03:04,608 --> 00:03:06,860 My brain is global, 73 00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:10,389 and 45 hours of that 70 hours of TV are shows I personally created 74 00:03:10,389 --> 00:03:12,804 and not just produced, so on top of everything else, 75 00:03:12,804 --> 00:03:16,264 I need to find time, real quiet creative time, 76 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,632 to gather my fans around the campfire 77 00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:20,304 and tell my stories. 78 00:03:20,304 --> 00:03:23,647 Four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in production at a time, 79 00:03:23,647 --> 00:03:28,454 sometimes four, 350 million dollars, campfires burning all over the world. 80 00:03:28,454 --> 00:03:30,799 You know who else is doing that? 81 00:03:30,799 --> 00:03:33,492 Nobody, so like I said, I'm a titan. 82 00:03:33,492 --> 00:03:35,234 Dream job. 83 00:03:35,234 --> 00:03:36,673 (Applause) 84 00:03:36,673 --> 00:03:38,624 Now I don't tell you this to impress you. 85 00:03:38,624 --> 00:03:42,584 I tell you this because I know what you think of when you hear the word "writer." 86 00:03:42,584 --> 00:03:45,487 I tell you this so that all of you out there who work so hard, 87 00:03:45,487 --> 00:03:48,969 whether you run a company or a country or a classroom 88 00:03:48,969 --> 00:03:51,361 or a store or a home 89 00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:54,356 take me seriously when I talk about working, 90 00:03:54,356 --> 00:03:58,002 so you'll get that I don't peck at a computer and imagine all day, 91 00:03:58,002 --> 00:04:00,022 so you'll hear me when I say 92 00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:04,201 that I understand that a dream job is not about dreaming. 93 00:04:04,201 --> 00:04:09,518 It's all job, all work, all reality, all blood, all sweat, no tears. 94 00:04:09,518 --> 00:04:14,116 I work a lot, very hard, and I love it. 95 00:04:14,116 --> 00:04:16,461 When I'm hard at work, when I'm deep in it, 96 00:04:16,461 --> 00:04:18,899 there is no other feeling. 97 00:04:18,899 --> 00:04:22,405 For me my work is at all times building a nation out of thin air. 98 00:04:22,405 --> 00:04:24,982 It is manning the troops. It is painting a canvas. 99 00:04:24,982 --> 00:04:27,467 It is hitting every high note. It is running a marathon. 100 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,533 It is being Beyonce. 101 00:04:29,533 --> 00:04:32,668 And it is all of those things at the same time. 102 00:04:32,668 --> 00:04:34,808 I love working. 103 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,849 It is creative and mechanical and exhausting and exhilarating 104 00:04:37,849 --> 00:04:40,334 and hilarious and disturbing and clinical and maternal 105 00:04:40,334 --> 00:04:41,959 and cruel and judicious, 106 00:04:41,959 --> 00:04:45,651 and what makes it all so good is the hum. 107 00:04:45,651 --> 00:04:48,577 There is some kind of shift inside me when the work gets good. 108 00:04:48,577 --> 00:04:51,386 A hum begins in my brain, 109 00:04:51,386 --> 00:04:54,706 and it grows and it grows and that hum sounds like the open road, 110 00:04:54,706 --> 00:04:57,028 and I could drive it forever. 111 00:04:57,028 --> 00:05:00,070 And a lot of people, when I try to explain the hum, 112 00:05:00,070 --> 00:05:02,740 they assume that I'm talking about the writing, 113 00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:04,249 that my writing brings me joy. 114 00:05:04,249 --> 00:05:07,059 And don't get me wrong, it does. 115 00:05:07,059 --> 00:05:08,963 But the hum, 116 00:05:08,963 --> 00:05:11,378 it wasn't until I started making television 117 00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,909 that I started working, working and making 118 00:05:13,909 --> 00:05:16,741 and building and creative and collaborating, 119 00:05:16,741 --> 00:05:21,664 that I discovered this thing, this buzz, this rush, this hum. 120 00:05:21,664 --> 00:05:23,800 The hum is more than writing. 121 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,306 The hum is action and activity. The hum is a drug. 122 00:05:27,306 --> 00:05:29,999 The hum is music. The hum is light and air. 123 00:05:29,999 --> 00:05:33,668 The hum is God's whisper right in my ear. 124 00:05:33,668 --> 00:05:36,083 And when you have a hum like that, 125 00:05:36,083 --> 00:05:38,892 you can't help but strive for greatness. 126 00:05:38,892 --> 00:05:43,559 That feeling, you can't help but strive for greatness at any cost. 127 00:05:43,559 --> 00:05:46,090 That's called the hum. 128 00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:49,898 Or maybe it's called being a workaholic. 129 00:05:49,898 --> 00:05:51,570 (Laughter) 130 00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:53,822 Maybe it's called genius. 131 00:05:53,822 --> 00:05:56,771 Maybe it's called ego. 132 00:05:56,771 --> 00:05:59,348 Maybe it's just fear of failure. 133 00:05:59,348 --> 00:06:01,182 I don't know. 134 00:06:01,182 --> 00:06:05,246 I just know that I'm not built for failure, 135 00:06:05,246 --> 00:06:07,730 and I just know that I love the hum. 136 00:06:07,730 --> 00:06:10,099 I just know that I want to tell you I'm a titan, 137 00:06:10,099 --> 00:06:12,653 and I know that I don't want to question it. 138 00:06:12,653 --> 00:06:14,905 But here's the thing: 139 00:06:14,905 --> 00:06:16,902 the more successful I become, 140 00:06:16,902 --> 00:06:20,222 the more shows, the more episodes, the more barriers broken, 141 00:06:20,222 --> 00:06:23,101 the more work there is to do, 142 00:06:23,101 --> 00:06:24,448 the more balls in the air, 143 00:06:24,448 --> 00:06:27,048 the more eyes on me, the more history stares, 144 00:06:27,048 --> 00:06:29,533 the more expectations there are. 145 00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:31,576 The more I work to be successful. 146 00:06:31,576 --> 00:06:34,037 the more I need to work. 147 00:06:34,037 --> 00:06:35,872 And what did I say about work? 148 00:06:35,872 --> 00:06:37,835 I love working, right? 149 00:06:37,835 --> 00:06:39,670 The nation I'm building, the marathon running, 150 00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:41,736 the troops, the canvas, the high note, the hum, 151 00:06:41,736 --> 00:06:44,267 the hum, the hum. 152 00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:46,380 I like that hum. I love that hum. 153 00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:49,398 I need that hum. I am that hum. 154 00:06:49,398 --> 00:06:52,092 Am I nothing but that hum? 155 00:06:52,092 --> 00:06:55,575 And then the hum stopped. 156 00:06:55,575 --> 00:06:58,797 Overworked, overused, 157 00:06:58,797 --> 00:06:59,842 overdone, burned out. 158 00:06:59,842 --> 00:07:02,513 The hum stopped. 159 00:07:02,513 --> 00:07:05,694 Now, my three daughters are used to the truth 160 00:07:05,694 --> 00:07:08,782 that their mother is a single working titan. 161 00:07:08,782 --> 00:07:10,035 Harper tells people, 162 00:07:10,035 --> 00:07:13,402 "My mom won't be there but you can text my nanny." 163 00:07:13,402 --> 00:07:17,396 And Emerson says, "Honey, I'm wanting to go to Shondaland." 164 00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:19,323 They're children of a titan. 165 00:07:19,323 --> 00:07:21,691 They're baby titans. 166 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:26,033 They were 12, 3, and 1 when the hum stopped. 167 00:07:26,033 --> 00:07:28,100 The hum of the engine died. 168 00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:30,538 I stopped loving work. I couldn't restart the engine. 169 00:07:30,538 --> 00:07:32,628 The hum would not come back. 170 00:07:32,628 --> 00:07:35,785 My hum was broken. 171 00:07:35,785 --> 00:07:39,407 I was doing the same things I always did, all the same titan work, 172 00:07:39,407 --> 00:07:41,962 15 hour days, working straight through the weekends, 173 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,096 no regrets, never surrender, a titan never sleeps, a titan never quits, 174 00:07:45,096 --> 00:07:48,300 full hearts, clear eyes, yada, whatever. 175 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,297 But there was no hum. 176 00:07:50,297 --> 00:07:52,447 Inside me was silence. 177 00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:57,811 Four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in production at a time, 178 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,510 sometimes four. I was the perfect titan. 179 00:08:02,752 --> 00:08:07,745 I was a titan you could take home to your mother. 180 00:08:07,745 --> 00:08:12,783 All the colors were the same, and I was no longer having any fun. 181 00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,082 And it was my life. 182 00:08:15,082 --> 00:08:16,428 It was all I did. 183 00:08:16,428 --> 00:08:19,772 I was the hum, and the hum was me. 184 00:08:19,772 --> 00:08:22,047 So what do you do when the thing you do, 185 00:08:22,047 --> 00:08:26,157 the work you love, starts to taste like dust? 186 00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,874 Now, I know somebody's out there thinking, "Cry me a river, 187 00:08:28,874 --> 00:08:31,335 stupid writer titan lady." 188 00:08:31,335 --> 00:08:32,775 (Laughter) 189 00:08:32,775 --> 00:08:34,377 But you know, you do, 190 00:08:34,377 --> 00:08:37,256 if you make, if you work, if you love what you do, 191 00:08:37,256 --> 00:08:40,182 being a teacher, being a banker, being a mother, being a painter, 192 00:08:40,182 --> 00:08:41,482 being Bill Gates, 193 00:08:41,482 --> 00:08:44,895 if you simply love another person and that gives you the hum, 194 00:08:44,895 --> 00:08:46,567 if you know the hum, 195 00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:48,355 if you know what the hum feels like, 196 00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:50,491 if you have been to the hum, 197 00:08:50,491 --> 00:08:54,066 when the hum stops, who are you? 198 00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:58,432 What are you? What am I? 199 00:08:58,432 --> 00:09:01,334 Am I still a titan? 200 00:09:01,334 --> 00:09:06,814 If the song of my heart ceases to play, can I survive in the silence? 201 00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:12,038 And then my southern waitress toddler asks me a question. 202 00:09:12,038 --> 00:09:15,846 I'm on my way out the door, I'm late, and she says, 203 00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:18,957 "Momma, wanna play?" 204 00:09:18,957 --> 00:09:22,185 And I'm just about to say no, when I realize two things. 205 00:09:22,185 --> 00:09:25,342 One, I'm supposed to say yes to everything, 206 00:09:25,342 --> 00:09:29,770 and two, my Southern waitress didn't call me "Honey." 207 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,324 She's not calling everyone "Honey" anymore. 208 00:09:32,324 --> 00:09:34,274 When did that happen? 209 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,084 I'm missing it, being a titan and mourning my hum, 210 00:09:37,084 --> 00:09:40,544 and here she is changing right before my eyes. 211 00:09:40,544 --> 00:09:43,933 And so she says, "Mamma, wanna play?" 212 00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:46,139 And I say, "Yes." 213 00:09:46,139 --> 00:09:48,833 There's nothing special about it. 214 00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:51,480 We play, and we're joined by her sisters, 215 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,803 and there's a lot of laughing, 216 00:09:52,803 --> 00:09:56,425 and I give a dramatic reading from the book "Everybody poops." 217 00:09:56,425 --> 00:09:59,142 Nothing out of the ordinary. (Laughter) 218 00:09:59,142 --> 00:10:01,394 And yet, it is extraordinary, 219 00:10:01,394 --> 00:10:03,879 because in my pain and my panic, 220 00:10:03,879 --> 00:10:05,945 in the homelessness of my humlessness, 221 00:10:05,945 --> 00:10:08,476 I have nothing to do but pay attention. 222 00:10:08,476 --> 00:10:10,241 I focus. 223 00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:11,959 I am still. 224 00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,211 The nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running, 225 00:10:14,211 --> 00:10:18,646 the troops, the canvas, the high note, does not exist. 226 00:10:18,646 --> 00:10:21,223 All that exists are sticky fingers and gooey kisses 227 00:10:21,223 --> 00:10:23,824 and tiny voices and crayons, 228 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:26,796 and that song about letting go of whatever it is that frozen girl 229 00:10:26,796 --> 00:10:29,405 needs to let go of. 230 00:10:29,405 --> 00:10:30,473 (Laughter) 231 00:10:30,473 --> 00:10:34,119 It's all peace and simplicity. 232 00:10:34,119 --> 00:10:38,368 The air is so rare in this place for me that I can barely breathe. 233 00:10:38,368 --> 00:10:41,154 I can barely believe I'm breathing. 234 00:10:41,154 --> 00:10:44,730 Play is the opposite of work. 235 00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:48,236 And I am happy. Something in me loosens. 236 00:10:48,236 --> 00:10:53,065 A door in my brain swings open, and a rush of energy comes. 237 00:10:53,065 --> 00:10:56,850 And it's not instantaneous, but it happens, it does happen. 238 00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:58,708 I feel it. 239 00:10:58,708 --> 00:11:00,565 A hum creeps back, 240 00:11:00,565 --> 00:11:03,375 not at full volume, barely there, 241 00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:06,556 it's quiet, but and I have to stay very still to hear it, but it is there. 242 00:11:06,556 --> 00:11:10,155 Not the hum, but a hum. 243 00:11:10,155 --> 00:11:14,032 And now I feel like I know a very magical secret. 244 00:11:14,032 --> 00:11:16,354 Well, let's not get carried away. 245 00:11:16,354 --> 00:11:20,928 It's just love. That's all it is. 246 00:11:20,928 --> 00:11:24,132 No magic. No secret. It's just love. 247 00:11:24,132 --> 00:11:26,710 It's just something we forgot. 248 00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:30,146 The hum, the work hum, the hum of the titan, 249 00:11:30,146 --> 00:11:32,236 that's just a replacement. 250 00:11:32,236 --> 00:11:34,488 If I have to ask you who I am, 251 00:11:34,488 --> 00:11:36,578 if I have to tell you who I am, 252 00:11:36,578 --> 00:11:38,853 if I describe myself in terms of shows 253 00:11:38,853 --> 00:11:42,870 and hours of television and how globally badass my brain is, 254 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:46,399 I have forgotten what the real hum is. 255 00:11:46,399 --> 00:11:51,066 The hum is not power and the hum is not work-specific. 256 00:11:51,066 --> 00:11:53,249 The hum is joy-specific. 257 00:11:53,249 --> 00:11:55,362 The real hum is love-specific. 258 00:11:55,362 --> 00:11:59,147 The hum is the electricity that comes from being excited by life. 259 00:11:59,147 --> 00:12:01,863 The real hum is confidence and peace. 260 00:12:01,863 --> 00:12:04,348 The real hum ignores the stare of history, 261 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:07,389 and the balls in the air, and the expectation, and the pressure. 262 00:12:07,389 --> 00:12:10,338 The real hum is singular and original. 263 00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,683 The real hum is God's whisper in my ear 264 00:12:12,683 --> 00:12:15,052 but maybe God was whispering the wrong words, 265 00:12:15,052 --> 00:12:18,929 because which one of the gods was telling me I was the titan? 266 00:12:18,929 --> 00:12:21,135 It's just love. 267 00:12:21,135 --> 00:12:24,107 We could all use a little more love, 268 00:12:24,107 --> 00:12:26,475 a lot more love. 269 00:12:26,475 --> 00:12:31,398 Any time my child asks me to play, I will say yes. 270 00:12:31,398 --> 00:12:33,302 I make it a firm rule for one reason, 271 00:12:33,302 --> 00:12:37,156 to give myself permission, to free me from all of my workaholic guilt. 272 00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:39,571 It's a law, so I don't have a choice, 273 00:12:39,571 --> 00:12:41,916 and I don't have a choice, 274 00:12:41,916 --> 00:12:44,122 not if I want to feel the hum. 275 00:12:44,122 --> 00:12:46,026 I wish it were that easy, 276 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:49,509 but I'm not good at playing. 277 00:12:49,509 --> 00:12:51,714 I don't like it. 278 00:12:51,714 --> 00:12:57,542 I'm not interested in doing it the way I'm interested in doing work. 279 00:12:57,542 --> 00:13:00,979 The truth is incredibly humbling and humiliating to face. 280 00:13:00,979 --> 00:13:02,581 I don't like playing. 281 00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:05,483 I work all the time because I like working. 282 00:13:05,483 --> 00:13:09,965 I like working more than I like being at home. 283 00:13:09,965 --> 00:13:14,144 Facing that fact is incredibly difficult to handle, 284 00:13:14,144 --> 00:13:21,296 because what kind of person likes working more than being at home? 285 00:13:21,296 --> 00:13:24,151 Well, me. 286 00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:27,379 I mean, let's be honest, I call myself a titan. 287 00:13:27,379 --> 00:13:29,585 I've got issues. 288 00:13:29,585 --> 00:13:33,532 And one of those issues isn't that I'm too relaxed. 289 00:13:33,532 --> 00:13:35,668 (Laughter) 290 00:13:35,668 --> 00:13:38,129 We run around the yard, up and back and up and back. 291 00:13:38,129 --> 00:13:42,216 We have 30-second dance parties. 292 00:13:42,216 --> 00:13:45,374 We sing show tunes. We play with balls. 293 00:13:45,374 --> 00:13:47,603 I blow bubbles and they pop them. 294 00:13:47,603 --> 00:13:53,059 Then I feel stiff and delirious and confused most of the time. 295 00:13:53,059 --> 00:13:56,263 I itch for my cell phone always. 296 00:13:56,263 --> 00:13:57,935 But it is okay. 297 00:13:57,935 --> 00:14:02,718 My tiny humans show me how to live and the hum of the universe fills me up. 298 00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:05,969 I play and I play until I begin to wonder 299 00:14:05,969 --> 00:14:09,568 why we ever stopped playing in the first place. 300 00:14:09,568 --> 00:14:11,611 You can do it too, 301 00:14:11,611 --> 00:14:15,187 say yes every time your child asks you to play. 302 00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:18,619 Are you thinking that maybe I'm an idiot in diamond shoes? 303 00:14:18,619 --> 00:14:18,869 You're right, but you can still do this. 304 00:14:20,453 --> 00:14:23,100 You have time. 305 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:26,792 You know why? Because you're not Rihanna and you're not a muppet. 306 00:14:26,792 --> 00:14:29,206 Your child does not think you're that interesting. 307 00:14:29,206 --> 00:14:30,716 (Laughter) 308 00:14:30,716 --> 00:14:32,573 You only need 15 minutes. 309 00:14:32,573 --> 00:14:35,336 My two and four year old only ever want to play with me 310 00:14:35,336 --> 00:14:38,215 for about 15 minutes or so before they think to themselves 311 00:14:38,215 --> 00:14:39,655 they want to do something else. 312 00:14:39,655 --> 00:14:43,370 It's an amazing 15 minutes, but it's 15 minutes. 313 00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:47,387 If I'm not a ladybug or a piece of candy, I'm invisible after 15 minutes. 314 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,362 (Laughter) 315 00:14:48,362 --> 00:14:52,774 And my 13-year old, if I can get a 13-year old to talk to me for 15 minutes 316 00:14:52,774 --> 00:14:55,385 I'm Parent of the Year. 317 00:14:55,385 --> 00:14:56,337 (Laughter) 318 00:14:56,337 --> 00:14:58,218 15 minutes is all you need. 319 00:14:58,218 --> 00:15:03,280 I can totally pull off 15 minutes of uninterrupted time on my worst day. 320 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,462 Uninterrupted is the key. 321 00:15:05,462 --> 00:15:08,109 No cell phone, no laundry, no anything. 322 00:15:08,109 --> 00:15:10,074 You have a busy life. You have to get dinner on the table. 323 00:15:10,074 --> 00:15:13,083 You have to force them to bathe. But you can do 15 minutes. 324 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,728 My kids are my happy place, they're my world, 325 00:15:16,728 --> 00:15:19,190 but it doesn't have to be your kids, 326 00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:23,183 the fuel that feeds your hum, the place where life feels more good than not good. 327 00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:25,645 It's not about playing with your kids, 328 00:15:25,645 --> 00:15:27,177 it's about joy. 329 00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:29,986 It's about playing in general. 330 00:15:29,986 --> 00:15:32,215 Give yourself the 15 minutes. 331 00:15:32,215 --> 00:15:34,491 Find what makes you feel good. 332 00:15:34,491 --> 00:15:38,067 Just figure it out and play in that arena. 333 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:43,152 I'm not perfect at it. In fact, I fail as often as I succeed: 334 00:15:43,152 --> 00:15:46,495 seeing friends, reading books, staring into space. 335 00:15:46,495 --> 00:15:49,769 "Wanna play?" starts to become shorthand for indulging myself 336 00:15:49,769 --> 00:15:54,134 in ways I'd given up on right around the time I got my first TV show, 337 00:15:54,134 --> 00:15:56,735 right around the time I became a titan in training, 338 00:15:56,735 --> 00:16:00,798 right around the time I started competing with myself for ways unknown. 339 00:16:00,798 --> 00:16:04,885 15 minutes? What could be wrong with giving myself my full attention 340 00:16:04,885 --> 00:16:06,742 for 15 minutes? 341 00:16:06,742 --> 00:16:08,925 Turns out, nothing. 342 00:16:08,925 --> 00:16:13,081 The very act of not working has made it possible for the hum to return, 343 00:16:13,081 --> 00:16:17,353 as if the hum's engine could only refuel while I was away. 344 00:16:17,353 --> 00:16:20,743 Work doesn't work without play. 345 00:16:20,743 --> 00:16:24,040 It takes a little time, but after a few months, 346 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,432 one day the floodgates open 347 00:16:26,432 --> 00:16:29,775 and there's a rush, and I find myself standing in my office 348 00:16:29,775 --> 00:16:34,071 filled with an unfamiliar melody, full on groove inside me, 349 00:16:34,071 --> 00:16:36,486 and around me, and it sends me spinning with ideas, 350 00:16:36,486 --> 00:16:39,806 and the humming road is open, and I can drive it and drive it, 351 00:16:39,806 --> 00:16:42,267 and I love working again. 352 00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:45,959 But now, I like that hum, but I don't love that hum. 353 00:16:45,959 --> 00:16:47,283 I don't need that hum. 354 00:16:47,283 --> 00:16:50,417 I am not that hum. That hum is not me, 355 00:16:50,417 --> 00:16:52,298 not anymore. 356 00:16:52,298 --> 00:16:55,920 I am bubbles and sticky fingers and dinners with friends. 357 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,661 I am that hum. 358 00:16:57,661 --> 00:16:58,962 Life's hum. 359 00:16:58,962 --> 00:17:00,401 Love's hum. 360 00:17:00,401 --> 00:17:04,952 Work's hum is still a piece of me, it is just no longer all of me, 361 00:17:04,952 --> 00:17:07,251 and I am so grateful. 362 00:17:07,251 --> 00:17:09,224 And I don't give a crap about being a titan, 363 00:17:09,224 --> 00:17:13,938 because I have never once seen a titan play Red Rover, Red Rover. 364 00:17:13,938 --> 00:17:18,024 I said yes to less work and more play, and somehow I still run my world. 365 00:17:18,024 --> 00:17:21,414 My brain is still global. My campfires still burn. 366 00:17:21,414 --> 00:17:25,640 The more I play, the happier I am, and the happier my kids are. 367 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,402 The more I play, the more I feel like a good mother. 368 00:17:29,402 --> 00:17:31,886 The more I play, the freer my mind becomes. 369 00:17:31,886 --> 00:17:33,767 The more I play, the better I work. 370 00:17:33,767 --> 00:17:36,321 The more I play, the more I feel the hum, 371 00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:38,271 the nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running, 372 00:17:38,271 --> 00:17:41,127 the troops, the canvas, the high note, the hum, the hum, 373 00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:44,216 the other hum, the real hum, 374 00:17:44,216 --> 00:17:45,771 life's hum. 375 00:17:45,771 --> 00:17:48,441 The more I feel that hum, the more this strange, 376 00:17:48,441 --> 00:17:51,785 quivering, un-cocooned, awkward, brand new, 377 00:17:51,785 --> 00:17:54,919 alive non-titan feels like me. 378 00:17:54,919 --> 00:17:58,333 The more I feel that hum, the more I know who I am. 379 00:17:58,333 --> 00:18:01,862 I'm a writer, I make stuff up, I imagine. 380 00:18:01,862 --> 00:18:05,322 That part of the job, that's living the dream. 381 00:18:05,322 --> 00:18:07,876 That's the dream of the job. 382 00:18:07,876 --> 00:18:11,684 Because a dream job should be a little bit dreamy. 383 00:18:11,684 --> 00:18:15,422 I said yes to less work and more play. 384 00:18:15,422 --> 00:18:18,069 Titans need not apply. 385 00:18:18,069 --> 00:18:19,950 Wanna play? 386 00:18:19,950 --> 00:18:21,737 Thank you. 387 00:18:21,737 --> 00:18:31,183 (Applause)