[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.00,0:00:04.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.54,0:00:21.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(d intro to ''Just the Slew Of Us''{\i0}\N{\i1}by Bill Cosby){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.32,0:01:41.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(applause){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.42,0:01:44.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(applause and whistling){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.48,0:02:08.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(applause and whistling continues){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.88,0:02:11.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(mouths){\i0} More. More. More.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.02,0:02:21.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- {\i1}(man in audience yells){\i0}\N- {\i1}(inaudible){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.40,0:02:26.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sit up there and yell like that.\NToday's only Thursday,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.60,0:02:29.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for crying out loud. Thursday.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.64,0:02:32.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You gotta wait till Friday.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.67,0:02:34.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lt's always strange.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.91,0:02:39.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l've had a lot of people work for me
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.78,0:02:42.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l've found out it's a funny thing that
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.58,0:02:45.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you give them Saturday and Sunday off
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.92,0:02:49.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they work so hard\Nto get to those two days
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.32,0:02:53.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and those are the two days that\Nthey totally destroy themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.36,0:02:56.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(audience laughing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.100,0:03:00.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l mean, you know,\Nyou think to yourself, you say,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.74,0:03:03.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''My goodness,\Nl've really pounded these people
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.47,0:03:08.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and worked them to death'' and\NFriday comes and they say, ''Yeah!''
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.24,0:03:10.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then they come in Monday...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.74,0:03:13.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(audience laughing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.01,0:03:17.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,...say, ''Boy, am l glad to be back here.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.72,0:03:21.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l'm no good on my own.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.69,0:03:26.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l was given two whole days\Nand l just went crazy.'' Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.83,0:03:37.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l don't know where you get these people\Nfrom. Sometimes l think it's drugs.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.70,0:03:40.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lt's got to be drugs,\N'cause people on pure air
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.37,0:03:43.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't worry about things like that.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.48,0:03:45.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, the drugs, the drugs, l really,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.01,0:03:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l think drugs make people\Nso, you know, they get like:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.38,0:03:54.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l've seen 'em. You know,\Nthey take {\i1}(inhales deeply){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.82,0:03:59.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, and then they\Nhave to hold it in, see.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.89,0:04:04.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, that's the problem with smoking,\Nyou have to {\i1}(inhales sharply){\i0} look.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.10,0:04:08.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, your body doesn't want it\Nso it starts to kick it out
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.40,0:04:12.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whether you want to hold it or not,\Nso you begin to {\i1}(sputtering){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.44,0:04:15.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(continues sputtering){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.04,0:04:20.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(coughing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.82,0:04:26.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(continues coughing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.56,0:04:37.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the best part about drugs\Nis that while you're doing that,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.56,0:04:40.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the person sitting next to you is going,\N''Hey, man, pass that over.''
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.90,0:04:42.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(audience laughing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.98,0:04:55.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then the people get stoned.\NNow this is the fun part of getting...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.42,0:05:00.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They get stoned,\Nthen they become paranoid:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.89,0:05:05.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, when they started out, they said,\N''Let's get high and have fun.''
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.03,0:05:10.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So they're high, now they're paranoid.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.23,0:05:12.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Am l falling out of this chair?''
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.70,0:05:18.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then l've known people who've\Ngotten stoned and they start to laugh
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.07,0:05:22.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and nobody knows\Nwhat they're laughing at.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.38,0:05:25.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, they're just:\N{\i1}(mouthing laughter){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.69,0:05:36.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(laughs uproariously){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.10,0:05:45.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''No, wait a minute, wait a minute.''
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.77,0:05:49.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(laughs uproariously){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.61,0:05:55.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''No, wait a minute.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.04,0:05:58.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l went over to the...
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.98,0:06:00.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Ooh!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.48,0:06:05.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(laughs){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.39,0:06:08.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''No, wait a minute.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.46,0:06:16.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l went over to the Burger King.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.40,0:06:21.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''And so the guy took a piece of meat,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.90,0:06:24.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''and threw it on the grill.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.80,0:06:27.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l said, 'Oh, wow!'
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.51,0:06:31.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Ooh!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.31,0:06:36.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''So then he turned it over.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.18,0:06:39.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''lt was all brown.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.25,0:06:41.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l said, 'Far out!'
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.66,0:06:46.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''And he put it between\Ntwo pieces of bread.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.63,0:06:49.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l said, 'Oh, no!'
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.43,0:06:52.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the guy ate it.''
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.11,0:07:05.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the biggest one... is the cocaine.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.85,0:07:09.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- {\i1}(man){\i0} Yow!\N- There they go!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.02,0:07:13.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There they go! Cocaine, Jack!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.99,0:07:16.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''You take cocaine, man?''\NPeople say, ''Yeah.''
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.79,0:07:18.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''You take cocaine, man?''\NPeople say, ''Yeah.''
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.16,0:07:21.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Say, ''l'll do a few lines.''
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.96,0:07:28.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l said to a guy, l said,\N''Tell me, you know,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.74,0:07:33.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what is it about cocaine\Nthat makes it so wonderful?''
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.21,0:07:38.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the guy said, ''Well, it\Nintensifies your personality.''
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.35,0:07:42.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l said, ''Yes,\Nbut what if you're an asshole?''
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.02,0:07:45.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(applause and cheering){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.66,0:07:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(man){\i0} Yow!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.81,0:08:11.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But l really want to study,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.58,0:08:14.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l really want to study\Nthis whole thing of drinking,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.58,0:08:19.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,getting drunk, and people saying\Nthat they're having a good time.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.39,0:08:25.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because if you put on a good suit,\Nyou put on a good suit or whatever
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.16,0:08:28.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you say, ''l'm going out\Nto have a good time.''
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.93,0:08:30.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But some people announce it:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.10,0:08:35.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l'm going out\Nbecause l deserve to go out
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.84,0:08:38.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''and l'm going to get drunk
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.44,0:08:42.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''because l deserve to get drunk
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.11,0:08:44.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and get out of my way.''
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.41,0:08:49.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, these people get up there\Nand they drink and they drink
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.48,0:08:52.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they drink,\Nand the body begins to tell you:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.12,0:08:55.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(in deep voice){\i0} ''Please,\Nyou better slow down.''
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.06,0:09:04.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(in normal voice){\i0}\NYou have a person who came in
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.20,0:09:06.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they were walking like this:
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.47,0:09:09.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, there's different kinds\Nof walks for drunken people.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.74,0:09:11.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, for instance,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.80,0:09:16.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you just have a regular\Nold raggedy bourbon drunk,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.78,0:09:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, they go like:
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.18,0:09:27.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, and they're\Nreally trying to maintain.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:28.39,0:09:31.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the people keep leaning\Nthe room on them, you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.46,0:09:37.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See. Now you can get a gin drunk.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.53,0:09:41.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gin and vodka, you know,\Nmartinis, now, these are the people,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.67,0:09:45.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,very, you know, they\Nhave their own business...
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.21,0:09:58.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they just stop off\Nand have about six or seven.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.05,0:10:04.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And their fingers pickle 'cause\Nthat's what they stir their drink up with.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.12,0:10:08.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they do a lot of this when they talk:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.36,0:10:13.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With their drink, so their drink\Nspurts on your shoe, you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.23,0:10:17.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, and you're looking\Nat your shoe and they're going:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.50,0:10:19.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they hum a lot when they...
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.97,0:10:24.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Hum, how you been?'' You say, ''Fine.''
Dialogue: 0,0:10:24.41,0:10:27.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Hum, nice to see you again.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.85,0:10:31.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hum, oh, pardon me, hum.''
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.35,0:10:34.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, very smooth people,\Nyou know.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.69,0:10:40.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So then, of course,\Nthe obvious one is the wino, but see,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.73,0:10:46.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,winos, once they get down to\Nwhere they cannot walk anymore,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.57,0:10:50.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, they just kind of\Nheel-toe it, you know...
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.57,0:10:56.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just kind of easy, going to get it.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.45,0:11:07.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, you have, like, since the\Ncountry-western thing has happened,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.45,0:11:12.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you got all these people with\Nthe cowboy hats and a buckle
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.99,0:11:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and...
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.23,0:11:20.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they just drink a lot of beer.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.03,0:11:24.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- {\i1}(man whistles){\i0}\N- See? There they are.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.47,0:11:28.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See... And beer drinkers are really\Ndifferent people because they...
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.08,0:11:32.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something happens to their\Nhearing. They go almost...
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.48,0:11:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They... everything... {\i1}(bellowing){\i0} Hey!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.08,0:11:40.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(bellowing){\i0} All right!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.32,0:11:44.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, they drink a lot of beer\Nand the beer does not go here,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.79,0:11:48.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it goes in one leg.\NAnd when that leg fills up,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.66,0:11:53.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then they have to take it to the john, see.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.47,0:11:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so when they walk, you know, they:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.37,0:12:01.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.51,0:12:04.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they come out of the bathroom,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.08,0:12:10.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then you can tell, see.\Nlt's empty now, you see.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.25,0:12:12.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They step up to the bar\Nand fill it back up.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.52,0:12:16.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now when it gets so that,\Nyou know, this leg is, ''l gotta go.''
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.32,0:12:20.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(bellowing){\i0} ''Hey!\Nl've gotta go again! Oh!''
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.33,0:12:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this is always like this,\Nalways hanging out.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.63,0:12:26.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they keep doing like this\Nand the thing falls down.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.80,0:12:29.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then they wanna go ride\Nthis mechanical animal
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.47,0:12:32.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and fall and bust their face, you know...
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.74,0:12:36.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l rode the bull at Gilley's\Nand busted my face,'' you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.08,0:12:39.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A picture of an idiot in action.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:44.42,0:12:50.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But now, the person who has\Ndedicated themselves to going out
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.49,0:12:53.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and getting so drunk\Nthat they're gonna get sick,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.03,0:12:56.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the all-time dumb person.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.10,0:13:01.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They stand there, just drinking, drinking.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.13,0:13:06.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the body says,\N''Don't take another drink.''
Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.65,0:13:21.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you reach up and you go...\Nand the stomach say,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.79,0:13:24.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the message has come down.\N''He's taking another drink.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.52,0:13:25.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the message has come down.\N''He's taking another drink.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.69,0:13:29.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''All right, reverse gears,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.76,0:13:34.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but just take it up to the top of the neck.''
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.30,0:13:37.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates mechanical sound){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.00,0:13:43.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This stuff comes up to here,\Nhe says, ''Now give him a small burp.''
Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.34,0:13:46.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates burping){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.99,0:13:54.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(shuddering){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:59.66,0:14:02.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Turn on the sweat machine.''
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.03,0:14:08.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now people say, ''Are you all right?''
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.90,0:14:10.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0} ''Of course l'm OK.''
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.34,0:14:16.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you've got to go,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:16.94,0:14:19.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you come into the bathroom.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.21,0:14:21.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates door opening){\i0} Close the door.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.82,0:14:23.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates door closing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.95,0:14:28.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, don't forget,\Nyou owe this to yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.69,0:14:31.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You worked hard all week.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:31.86,0:14:34.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lt's come to this.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.14,0:14:46.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(applause){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.12,0:15:07.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(groaning){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:15:10.23,0:15:12.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(groaning continues){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.94,0:15:17.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(moaning){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:15:19.37,0:15:21.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, Jesus.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:23.98,0:15:26.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, God.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:27.75,0:15:30.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lf you get me out of this,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:30.88,0:15:34.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l won't drink again as long as l live.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.96,0:15:37.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:38.99,0:15:41.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you are ready...
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.100,0:15:45.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to put your face...
Dialogue: 0,0:15:45.53,0:15:48.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a place...
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.34,0:15:51.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was never built for your face.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:53.84,0:15:55.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(moans){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:15:58.98,0:16:02.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you feel it coming.\N''All right, l'm ready.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.88,0:16:07.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Holding on, holding on.\NWe going for a ride? Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:07.99,0:16:09.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Bring it on? Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:10.06,0:16:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here it comes, l'm ready to explode.''
Dialogue: 0,0:16:14.19,0:16:16.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And your muscles lock, everything.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.43,0:16:22.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you wouldn't be surprised,\Nyou would not be surprised
Dialogue: 0,0:16:22.97,0:16:28.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you saw your shoes come out\Nof your mouth. You'd say ''Yes!''
Dialogue: 0,0:16:31.71,0:16:34.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now that wave has stopped,\Nyou... {\i1}(moans){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:16:35.42,0:16:38.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You put your head\Non the side of the bowl
Dialogue: 0,0:16:38.95,0:16:42.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you thank the toilet bowl.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:42.46,0:16:44.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Thank you, toilet bowl.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:44.76,0:16:48.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Thank you so much\Nfor being cool on the side.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.10,0:16:52.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Only you understand me, toilet bowl.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:52.36,0:16:56.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're the only friend l have,\Nmy wonderful toilet bowl.''
Dialogue: 0,0:16:57.34,0:16:59.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, people keep coming to the door.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:59.91,0:17:03.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates door opening){\i0}\N''Are you all right?''
Dialogue: 0,0:17:03.51,0:17:07.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you say, ''Oh, yes.\Nl'm always like this all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:07.85,0:17:10.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Just having a little picnic.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:10.32,0:17:14.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just listening to the toilet bowl.''
Dialogue: 0,0:17:14.49,0:17:16.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates toilet flushing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:17:16.92,0:17:20.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's called having a good time.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:32.44,0:17:34.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l never understand that.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:39.45,0:17:42.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l mean, it's all right if\Nyou're a teenager, you know,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:42.75,0:17:47.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've never had it before, you know,\Nand you say, ''What is this all about?''
Dialogue: 0,0:17:47.65,0:17:51.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You keep drinking and getting sick\Nand throw up. But grown people do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:51.79,0:17:54.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On weekends.\NAnd then they come back to work
Dialogue: 0,0:17:55.03,0:17:58.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they go, ''Oh, God, my head...''
Dialogue: 0,0:17:58.100,0:18:00.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Strange.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:03.17,0:18:05.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dentists...
Dialogue: 0,0:18:06.44,0:18:12.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tell you not to pick your teeth\Nwith any sharp metal object.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:13.45,0:18:16.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then you sit in their chair,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:17.68,0:18:21.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the first thing\Nthey grab is an iron hook.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:23.69,0:18:27.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they start to pick in an area\Nthat you came to get fixed.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:28.03,0:18:29.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates picking){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:18:32.63,0:18:35.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l found out something about myself\Nwhile the dentist was doing that.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:36.07,0:18:41.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l found out if l was ever\Nparalyzed from the knee down,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:41.94,0:18:45.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l'd be able to walk with my behind.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:47.08,0:18:50.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the whole time\Nhe kept doing that l just kept...
Dialogue: 0,0:18:51.48,0:18:54.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(deep voice){\i0} ''Can you sit up?''\N''l'm sorry, l beg your pardon.''
Dialogue: 0,0:18:54.92,0:18:57.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(deep voice){\i0} ''Sit up.'' ''l'm sorry.''
Dialogue: 0,0:18:58.99,0:19:02.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now the dentist pulls out a needle.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:02.63,0:19:05.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is to deaden the pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:08.97,0:19:13.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Says, ''Open up.'' Now, a regular doctor\Ngiving you a shot would go:
Dialogue: 0,0:19:13.47,0:19:16.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's it.\NDentists don't do that, they go:
Dialogue: 0,0:19:22.62,0:19:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're there... {\i1}(gasping){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:19:27.09,0:19:29.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then they want to talk to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:29.69,0:19:32.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Do you ever do any fishing?''
Dialogue: 0,0:19:32.59,0:19:36.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(muffled){\i0} Uh-huh. {\i1}(gasping){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:19:36.33,0:19:38.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Where do you usually go?''
Dialogue: 0,0:19:38.40,0:19:40.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(muffled voice){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:19:44.17,0:19:47.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Yes, l've been there\Nmany times myself.''
Dialogue: 0,0:19:49.38,0:19:53.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now he pulls the needle out.\NPuts this thing in your mouth.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:53.68,0:19:55.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates suction hose){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:19:56.02,0:19:58.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This will suck up your face.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:00.29,0:20:04.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The dentist goes outside\Nto laugh at you.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:06.09,0:20:10.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you sit, grown-up, intelligent\Nhuman being, arguing with this thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:10.86,0:20:13.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(sucking) (gagging) (sucking){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:20:16.57,0:20:19.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You also notice
Dialogue: 0,0:20:19.14,0:20:22.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the right side of your face
Dialogue: 0,0:20:22.74,0:20:28.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feels like it's sliding off of your skull.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:28.48,0:20:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And your bottom lip is in your lap.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:32.62,0:20:36.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the dentist comes back.\NYou want to talk to him.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:36.12,0:20:41.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you say, {\i1}(indistinct speech){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:20:41.83,0:20:43.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l beg your pardon?''
Dialogue: 0,0:20:43.53,0:20:47.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:20:50.94,0:20:52.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l don't understand.''
Dialogue: 0,0:20:53.11,0:20:56.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:21:00.35,0:21:01.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Your what?''
Dialogue: 0,0:21:01.98,0:21:03.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:21:07.49,0:21:11.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Your face?'' {\i1}(lisping){\i0} Yeth!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:11.12,0:21:13.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''What's the matter with it?''
Dialogue: 0,0:21:13.49,0:21:15.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0} What's the matter with it?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:18.26,0:21:22.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My face... my face is hanging down...
Dialogue: 0,0:21:23.87,0:21:25.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you see this?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:30.08,0:21:33.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is my bottom lip.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:34.18,0:21:38.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lt wasn't like this when l came in here.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:38.15,0:21:41.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Well, l'll fix it.'' l hope so!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:41.69,0:21:44.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because when you put\Nthe needle in my mouth,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:44.49,0:21:48.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my face went down like this,\Nmy bottom lip went on the floor.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:49.06,0:21:52.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l can't live like this now.\N''l'll fix it.''
Dialogue: 0,0:21:52.73,0:21:54.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0} OK!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:55.60,0:21:59.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now he starts to drill: {\i1}(imitates drilling){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:21:59.84,0:22:02.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you see and smell smoke
Dialogue: 0,0:22:04.68,0:22:07.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coming out of your mouth. So you say,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:07.31,0:22:09.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0} ''Wait a minute.''
Dialogue: 0,0:22:12.82,0:22:16.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''What's the matter?'' {\i1}(slurring){\i0} Smoke!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:16.69,0:22:20.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''What?''\N{\i1}(slurring){\i0} Smoke, smoke, smoke!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:20.99,0:22:25.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's some smoke\Nand it's coming out of my mouth.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:25.40,0:22:27.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l don't understand.''
Dialogue: 0,0:22:28.57,0:22:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0} Fire!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:31.24,0:22:33.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you understand the fire?
Dialogue: 0,0:22:33.94,0:22:37.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a fire in my mouth\Nand the smoke is coming out.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:37.44,0:22:40.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my face is hanging on the floor.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:40.68,0:22:43.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''The fire?'' Yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:43.25,0:22:45.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Where?''
Dialogue: 0,0:22:46.62,0:22:49.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0} Never mind, never mind.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:50.32,0:22:53.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now he drills some more\Nand you hear him make a mistake.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:53.46,0:22:55.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates drill slipping){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:22:56.90,0:23:01.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And to cover it up, they all\Nsay the same thing: ''OK, rinse.''
Dialogue: 0,0:23:03.74,0:23:08.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0} Rinse?\NYou asking me to rinse?
Dialogue: 0,0:23:08.21,0:23:11.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l don't have a bottom lip.\NHow can l rinse?
Dialogue: 0,0:23:11.64,0:23:13.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Give it a try.''
Dialogue: 0,0:23:13.81,0:23:17.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0} Give it a try? OK.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:17.68,0:23:21.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(in normal voice){\i0} Grab the cup,\Npour the water, it runs all down...
Dialogue: 0,0:23:27.83,0:23:31.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(slurring){\i0} l hope that you are satisfied.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:32.03,0:23:36.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l hope that you are satisfied.\Nl put the water in my mouth,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:37.10,0:23:40.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l told you l can't rinse\Nbecause l have no bottom lip,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:40.17,0:23:43.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the water went all down in my lap.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:43.74,0:23:47.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l hope that you are satisfied.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:47.75,0:23:49.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Rinse again.''
Dialogue: 0,0:23:50.92,0:23:53.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You've gotta be kidding me!
Dialogue: 0,0:23:54.72,0:23:57.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you pick it up, put it in. Now,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:57.16,0:24:02.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're gonna spit into\Nthis miniature toilet bowl.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:03.43,0:24:06.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have no bottom lip\Nso you let it all fall out,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:06.93,0:24:10.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say, ''Thank God for gravity.''
Dialogue: 0,0:24:10.64,0:24:14.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you want to sit back but you can't
Dialogue: 0,0:24:14.24,0:24:16.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because hanging...
Dialogue: 0,0:24:18.01,0:24:22.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from your bottom lip is a long line
Dialogue: 0,0:24:22.38,0:24:25.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can't get it off your bottom lip.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:25.82,0:24:29.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, if you wanna be gross,\Nyou can grab it and throw it over there.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:30.69,0:24:34.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you try to be smooth\Nabout it, you know...
Dialogue: 0,0:24:40.57,0:24:44.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's breaking over here\Nand it's breaking over there.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:47.24,0:24:51.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Try to blow it off: {\i1}(blowing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:24:52.41,0:24:54.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just vibrating.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:54.91,0:24:58.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you figure, maybe if you sit back,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:58.28,0:25:00.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it'll snap in half.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:01.35,0:25:05.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you sit back. Now you have a line
Dialogue: 0,0:25:05.92,0:25:08.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the bowl to your bottom lip.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:08.76,0:25:12.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The dentist looks at it\Nand says, ''Oh, look, a rainbow!''
Dialogue: 0,0:25:18.87,0:25:21.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you have to pay him for that.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:23.38,0:25:28.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, l didn't come here\Nto tell you that.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:34.42,0:25:36.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l, uh...
Dialogue: 0,0:25:37.02,0:25:41.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wanted to discuss some\Nvery serious matters here.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:43.46,0:25:46.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The... {\i1}(coughs){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:25:46.30,0:25:48.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pardon me.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:49.77,0:25:54.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife and l were intellectuals...
Dialogue: 0,0:25:57.41,0:25:59.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before we had children.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:02.68,0:26:05.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We were very, very bright people.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:07.32,0:26:11.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife graduated from\Nthe University of Maryland,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:11.42,0:26:16.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,child psychology major\Nwith a B-plus average,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:16.66,0:26:19.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which means that if you ask her\Na question about a child's behavior,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:20.07,0:26:24.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she will give you at least an 85 answer.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:25.57,0:26:28.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l, from Temple University,\Nphysical education major
Dialogue: 0,0:26:28.91,0:26:32.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a child psychology minor,\Nwhich means that if you ask me
Dialogue: 0,0:26:32.88,0:26:38.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a question about a child's behavior, l will\Ntell you to tell the child to take a lap.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:44.16,0:26:48.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Needless to say, we felt qualified
Dialogue: 0,0:26:48.100,0:26:52.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to handle having children,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:53.13,0:26:57.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we planned to have children.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:57.54,0:26:59.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We sat in the back seat of a car,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:59.70,0:27:01.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(audience laughing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:27:04.41,0:27:08.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and discussed it. Children.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:08.28,0:27:11.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We wanted to have children\Nand bring them up.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:12.72,0:27:18.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we spoke to God about the children
Dialogue: 0,0:27:19.42,0:27:24.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we were afraid to ask God
Dialogue: 0,0:27:24.16,0:27:26.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for specific things.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:26.77,0:27:31.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We felt that it might be too much.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:31.24,0:27:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We said to God,\N''Please give us a healthy child,''
Dialogue: 0,0:27:36.11,0:27:38.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we left it at that,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:40.51,0:27:44.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not knowing that God\Nis a generous God,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:45.55,0:27:48.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but also has a sense of humor,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:50.99,0:27:55.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that if you leave\Nthat much open for God,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:55.19,0:27:59.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some wonderful jokes\Nare going to come about.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:00.27,0:28:03.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Still being intellectuals,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:03.60,0:28:07.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my wife and l decided to\Nbring our first child into the world
Dialogue: 0,0:28:07.17,0:28:10.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by way of natural childbirth.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:11.94,0:28:15.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, we were intellectuals,\Nmind you, which means that
Dialogue: 0,0:28:15.15,0:28:18.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intellectuals go to study things
Dialogue: 0,0:28:18.92,0:28:21.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that people do naturally.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:24.46,0:28:26.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, let's think about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:26.79,0:28:30.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Childbirth is a natural thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:30.73,0:28:35.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The pains come automatically,\Nthe muscles tighten and push down
Dialogue: 0,0:28:35.17,0:28:38.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the mother is there\Nand all you need,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:38.27,0:28:42.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as they say in every movie, is hot water.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:42.71,0:28:45.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Get the hot water,''\Nand they just send some fool, runs,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:45.71,0:28:49.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Hot water,'' you know, and bothers\Neverybody in the world for hot water.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:49.35,0:28:53.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But even if you don't have hot water,\Nthe baby's going to come.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:53.25,0:28:57.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ker-boom! Natural.\NNature takes its course.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:57.36,0:29:00.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates creaking){\i0} Whammo!
Dialogue: 0,0:29:00.66,0:29:03.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there it is. You understand?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:03.20,0:29:05.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You just need somebody\Nthere to grab a hold,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:05.60,0:29:08.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, to grab the rope, you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:08.80,0:29:13.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''There, keep pulling there, it's coming,\Nl'll be right there in a second.'' See?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:13.74,0:29:18.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Natural childbirth. People do it\Nall around the deprived countries,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:18.74,0:29:21.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,quote, unquote,\N''deprived countries of the world.''
Dialogue: 0,0:29:21.48,0:29:25.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Women... The lady's\Nout there picking the rice
Dialogue: 0,0:29:25.22,0:29:28.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or doing whatever in the thing\Nand all of a sudden you say,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:28.25,0:29:31.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Ooh!'' Blam! The child falls out,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:31.16,0:29:34.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they cut the cord, tie it\Nand the kid's there with the rice,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:34.43,0:29:38.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the mother, you know.\NNatural childbirth.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:38.100,0:29:42.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lntellectuals go to class
Dialogue: 0,0:29:42.84,0:29:45.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to study how to do this.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:46.74,0:29:49.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife and l sat in class
Dialogue: 0,0:29:49.21,0:29:54.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to learn how to have natural childbirth.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:54.65,0:29:57.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the first thing\Nthey teach you is that
Dialogue: 0,0:29:58.02,0:30:01.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to breathe properly, see?
Dialogue: 0,0:30:01.12,0:30:06.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when you press down\Non the muscles, there's breathing:
Dialogue: 0,0:30:06.12,0:30:08.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(rapid breathing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:30:10.53,0:30:12.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's my wife's job. So she's there:
Dialogue: 0,0:30:12.96,0:30:14.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(rapid breathing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:30:15.74,0:30:19.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she was good.\NNow the father's job...
Dialogue: 0,0:30:19.67,0:30:23.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the father must be there\Nfor these classes.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:23.21,0:30:26.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they give the father a diploma also.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:26.51,0:30:31.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you don't get a diploma,\Nyou cannot come to the birth.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:31.28,0:30:33.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See? So my job
Dialogue: 0,0:30:33.79,0:30:38.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to bend my wife in half\Nand say ''Push!''
Dialogue: 0,0:30:39.56,0:30:43.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now if l don't go to class,\Nl don't get a diploma for this,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:43.60,0:30:45.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so l can't come to the birth.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:45.76,0:30:48.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So my wife is there:\N{\i1}(rapid breathing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:30:48.33,0:30:51.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l'm there: ''Push.''\NAnd l'm the cheerleader:
Dialogue: 0,0:30:51.34,0:30:54.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Push him out, shove him out, way out!
Dialogue: 0,0:30:54.97,0:30:58.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Push him out, shove him out, way out!''
Dialogue: 0,0:30:59.61,0:31:03.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my wife is a wonderful breather.\N{\i1}(rapid breathing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:31:03.35,0:31:06.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we were the best in our class.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:06.28,0:31:09.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l began to breathe\Nwith my wife, macho style.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:09.19,0:31:12.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(vigorous breathing){\i0} Push, push.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:12.72,0:31:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(vigorous breathing){\i0} Push, push.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:16.13,0:31:18.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(rapid breathing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:31:19.46,0:31:23.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We went to parties\Nand people asked us to breathe.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:24.90,0:31:27.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Ladies and gentlemen,\Nthe breathing Cosbys!''
Dialogue: 0,0:31:27.34,0:31:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(rapid breathing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:31:29.11,0:31:31.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Push, push!
Dialogue: 0,0:31:31.94,0:31:35.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Natural childbirth.\NNatural childbirth means
Dialogue: 0,0:31:35.82,0:31:39.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no drugs will be administered\Ninto the female's body
Dialogue: 0,0:31:39.38,0:31:43.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,during the delivery.\NThe father can have all he wants.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:49.96,0:31:53.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the ninth month,\Nmy wife called to me
Dialogue: 0,0:31:53.20,0:31:55.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the balcony of our California home:
Dialogue: 0,0:31:55.47,0:31:58.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Bill!'' {\i1}(rapid breathing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:31:58.37,0:32:01.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l became excited. l said, ''Push!''
Dialogue: 0,0:32:02.11,0:32:07.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then l remembered, we have to go\Nto the hospital for the natural childbirth.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:07.11,0:32:09.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l run into the car. l got a Ferrari.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:09.62,0:32:11.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates engine){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:32:11.38,0:32:15.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l do 1 04 from the garage\Nto the front door.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:15.86,0:32:17.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So my wife comes out.\NShe gets in the car.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:17.99,0:32:19.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates engine){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:32:19.86,0:32:24.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,1 80, and we're breathing.\N{\i1}(vigorous breathing){\i0} Push, push.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:24.90,0:32:26.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(rapid breathing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:32:26.97,0:32:31.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l'm in my Ferrari,\Nman, $1 7,000 Ferrari,
Dialogue: 0,0:32:31.14,0:32:34.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my wife says, ''Oh!''\Nl say, ''No, dear, please, wait, not here.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:35.07,0:32:37.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, not in the Ferrari, please.''
Dialogue: 0,0:32:37.94,0:32:40.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l pull over. We go in the bushes,
Dialogue: 0,0:32:40.58,0:32:43.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we go in the bushes,\Nbut no, not in the car, dear.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:43.32,0:32:45.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's ''Oh, Bill, can l...''
Dialogue: 0,0:32:45.38,0:32:48.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hold everything. l'll get you there.\N{\i1}(imitates engine){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:32:48.79,0:32:52.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we pull up to the hospital.\NThe Marx Brothers jump out:
Dialogue: 0,0:32:52.26,0:32:55.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Whoo! Ha! Whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo!''\NPut my wife in a wheelchair.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:55.96,0:32:58.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Run her down to the delivery room.\Nl signed her in, they put the hat on me,
Dialogue: 0,0:32:58.93,0:33:00.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the thing on backwards,\Nbooties on the shoes.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:00.93,0:33:03.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l run into the delivery room.\NThey got my wife all prepped
Dialogue: 0,0:33:03.44,0:33:07.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and her legs way up in the stirrups...\N{\i1}(rapid breathing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:33:07.77,0:33:11.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the doctor's sitting there\Nlike Johnny Bench.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:27.79,0:33:28.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:30.40,0:33:34.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the first real pain hit my wife.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:34.87,0:33:36.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whoo!
Dialogue: 0,0:33:36.47,0:33:38.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my wife said:
Dialogue: 0,0:33:38.67,0:33:41.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(inhales sharply){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:33:41.41,0:33:44.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l said, ''Push?''
Dialogue: 0,0:33:45.88,0:33:51.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Carol Burnett described\Nwhat labor pains feel like.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:51.18,0:33:56.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said, ''Take your bottom lip\Nand pull it over your head.''
Dialogue: 0,0:34:10.54,0:34:13.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The second pain hit: whoo!
Dialogue: 0,0:34:13.94,0:34:16.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife said: {\i1}(screams){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:34:17.18,0:34:19.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and stood up...
Dialogue: 0,0:34:20.58,0:34:22.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the stirrups.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:29.05,0:34:31.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Grabbed my bottom lip...
Dialogue: 0,0:34:38.53,0:34:42.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and said, ''l want morphine!''
Dialogue: 0,0:34:45.64,0:34:47.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''But dear...'' {\i1}(vigorous breathing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:34:48.04,0:34:51.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said, ''You shut up!
Dialogue: 0,0:34:51.21,0:34:54.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You did this to me!''
Dialogue: 0,0:34:55.05,0:34:57.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And on the next contraction,
Dialogue: 0,0:34:57.38,0:35:01.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she told everybody in the delivery room
Dialogue: 0,0:35:01.52,0:35:05.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that my parents were never married.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:15.93,0:35:19.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now we're back to breathing:\N{\i1}(vigorous breathing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:35:19.44,0:35:23.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l'm sitting there, ''Push, push.''
Dialogue: 0,0:35:23.21,0:35:26.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife's getting tired.\N''l don't wanna push anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:26.14,0:35:28.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l don't wanna push.''\NNo, you've got to push, dear.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:28.28,0:35:31.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come on, dear, you've gotta.\N''l don't wanna. Oh, no, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:31.98,0:35:34.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tell them to give me something.''\NNo, you can do it.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:34.25,0:35:38.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''No, l don't wanna graduate from\Nthe class anymore. l just wanna--''
Dialogue: 0,0:35:38.16,0:35:40.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please, come on, you can do it.\Nl look in the rearview mirror
Dialogue: 0,0:35:41.09,0:35:46.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l see the head. And Johnny Bench\Nis still sitting there, like:
Dialogue: 0,0:35:47.17,0:35:50.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l said, ''lsn't that the head?''
Dialogue: 0,0:35:50.44,0:35:54.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''Yeah.'' l said, ''Well, go get it.''
Dialogue: 0,0:36:01.61,0:36:03.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''lt's stuck.''
Dialogue: 0,0:36:05.72,0:36:08.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''Well, get\Nthe salad spoons, man!''
Dialogue: 0,0:36:14.99,0:36:18.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So... So he gets the salad spoons
Dialogue: 0,0:36:20.47,0:36:23.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the baby comes out.\N{\i1}(makes spurting sound){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:36:24.00,0:36:28.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now this is the greatest moment...
Dialogue: 0,0:36:28.14,0:36:30.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(woman laughing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:36:32.54,0:36:34.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in our lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:34.98,0:36:39.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is what we asked God for.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:39.32,0:36:45.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is what we wanted\Nto see if we could make.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:45.39,0:36:48.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l look at it.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:56.80,0:36:59.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they started to clean it off.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:00.40,0:37:03.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it wasn't getting any better.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:12.58,0:37:15.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l went over to my wife
Dialogue: 0,0:37:16.99,0:37:21.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l kissed her\Never so gently on the lips
Dialogue: 0,0:37:21.36,0:37:27.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l said, ''Darling,\Nl love you very, very much.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:27.27,0:37:31.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You just had a lizard.''
Dialogue: 0,0:37:41.88,0:37:45.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the thing\Nchanged colors three times.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:48.49,0:37:51.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the neck and head\Nwouldn't work, it just kept:
Dialogue: 0,0:37:56.40,0:37:59.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l said to the doctor,\N''Can you put this back?
Dialogue: 0,0:38:01.17,0:38:04.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'''Cause it isn't done yet. lt needs to cook
Dialogue: 0,0:38:04.70,0:38:07.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,another three months maybe.''
Dialogue: 0,0:38:08.04,0:38:11.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the hospital made us take it home.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:16.75,0:38:21.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother looked at it and said,\N''Oh, how precious.''
Dialogue: 0,0:38:26.02,0:38:29.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l don't know why she said it.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:29.49,0:38:32.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, l didn't know then. l know now.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:32.76,0:38:36.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because my mother put a curse on me.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:36.37,0:38:40.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A long time ago, l remember\Nwhen l was a child what she said,
Dialogue: 0,0:38:40.61,0:38:44.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l've later found out\Nthat mothers, all mothers,
Dialogue: 0,0:38:44.44,0:38:47.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put a curse on their children.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:47.45,0:38:52.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they say, ''l hope when you\Nget married, you have some children
Dialogue: 0,0:38:52.18,0:38:57.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who act exactly the same way\Nthat you act.''
Dialogue: 0,0:38:58.72,0:39:01.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this curse works!
Dialogue: 0,0:39:03.53,0:39:07.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l mean, it started with that child.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:08.43,0:39:12.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife and l have not\Nbeen intellectuals since.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:13.87,0:39:17.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, my wife was pretty good for a while.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:17.64,0:39:19.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it didn't last that long.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:19.94,0:39:22.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lt didn't last two years.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:22.78,0:39:26.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My father, he was so happy.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:26.35,0:39:30.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, l had a daughter\Nand l'd wanted a son
Dialogue: 0,0:39:31.09,0:39:34.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l'd bragged that\Nl was going to bring a son.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:35.16,0:39:40.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My father and my mother\Nhad four boys, so why not?
Dialogue: 0,0:39:40.56,0:39:44.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l'm a Cosby. Son.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:44.97,0:39:48.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l want a son who carries the ball for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:48.51,0:39:52.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Play football, basketball,\Nrun track. My boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:52.54,0:39:54.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l'd sit in the stands. ''That your son?''
Dialogue: 0,0:39:54.78,0:39:59.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, that's my boy.\NSee the boy running the touchdown
Dialogue: 0,0:39:59.75,0:40:02.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the name Cosby on the back?\NThat's my son.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:02.82,0:40:06.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l would've done it myself\Nbut l'm too old now.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:06.16,0:40:10.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l gave him the business. He's\Njust in charge of running touchdowns.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:10.60,0:40:15.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know? Go to the dinners.\N''And the athlete of the year, little Cosby.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:15.40,0:40:19.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there's his father, big Cosby.''\NThank you, thank you, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:21.81,0:40:27.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l don't mind. l've... You know,\Nl realize that with great athletes,
Dialogue: 0,0:40:27.18,0:40:30.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, it's a different thing.\NFather, you grab the boy
Dialogue: 0,0:40:30.72,0:40:34.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when he's like this, see.\NYou say, ''Come here, boy.''
Dialogue: 0,0:40:34.19,0:40:37.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two years old. You say, ''Get down,\NDad'll show you how to do it.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:37.19,0:40:39.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you come at me.\NRun through me.'' Boom!
Dialogue: 0,0:40:39.39,0:40:41.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There. See? Get back up, get back up.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:41.99,0:40:45.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See? You didn't do it right.\NNow, come at me. Boom! See, now...
Dialogue: 0,0:40:45.73,0:40:48.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You teach 'em, see? You say,\N''Now, go, attack that tree. Bite it!''
Dialogue: 0,0:40:48.57,0:40:51.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates biting noise){\i0}\N'' Come on back, bite it again.''
Dialogue: 0,0:40:51.60,0:40:53.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates biting noise){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:40:53.77,0:40:56.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You teach 'em all that. Tackle me, bam!
Dialogue: 0,0:40:56.17,0:40:59.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then soon he's bigger\Nand he's stronger and he can hit you,
Dialogue: 0,0:40:59.71,0:41:01.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't want him to hit you anymore,\Nyou say, ''All right, son,''
Dialogue: 0,0:41:01.91,0:41:04.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,turn him loose on the high school,\Nhe runs up and down the field.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:04.68,0:41:07.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,High school! Touchdown.\NHe's 800 touchdowns per game,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:07.35,0:41:10.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you say, ''Yes, that's my son,''\Nand he goes to the big college,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:10.46,0:41:12.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,playing for a big school,\Nthree million students
Dialogue: 0,0:41:13.06,0:41:16.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and 800,000 people in the stands:\N{\i1}(imitates cheering){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:41:16.100,0:41:19.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,National TV, and he catches the ball
Dialogue: 0,0:41:19.13,0:41:21.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he doesn't bother\Nto get out of the way,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:21.30,0:41:23.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he just runs over everybody,\N{\i1}(imitates rushing sound){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:41:24.10,0:41:26.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for a TD and turn around\Nand the camera's on him
Dialogue: 0,0:41:26.44,0:41:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you're looking\Nand he says, ''Hi, Mom.''
Dialogue: 0,0:41:33.34,0:41:37.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, you don't mind that.\NYou know who taught him.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:39.72,0:41:43.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But God has a sense of humor
Dialogue: 0,0:41:44.02,0:41:48.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and God said, ''Let him have a girl.''
Dialogue: 0,0:41:49.76,0:41:52.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates plopping sound){\i0} Came out.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:52.90,0:41:56.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l had my child there,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:56.60,0:41:59.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,firstborn, at home,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:59.24,0:42:02.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it does something to you\Nwhen you become a father.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:02.31,0:42:05.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're home, you know, really home.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:05.34,0:42:11.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the baby was dirty,\Nshe'd made a little poo-poo.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:15.59,0:42:19.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife and l were so happy\Nwhen the child made the poo-poo.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:20.06,0:42:23.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We asked the child, {\i1}(in silly voice){\i0} ''Are\Nyou the one that made the poo-poo?
Dialogue: 0,0:42:23.93,0:42:26.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come on, you made the poo-poo.\NYou can poopy {\i1}(baby talk){\i0} ''
Dialogue: 0,0:42:27.06,0:42:29.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the baby say:
Dialogue: 0,0:42:30.00,0:42:32.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''That's right, you\Nwant to make the poo-poo,
Dialogue: 0,0:42:32.20,0:42:35.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you poo-poo when\Nyou want to poo-poo.''
Dialogue: 0,0:42:37.91,0:42:41.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my wife and l were so happy,\Nwe showed it to each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:42.48,0:42:46.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(in silly voice){\i0} Did you see the poo-poo?\NOh, that's a pretty poo-poo.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:47.05,0:42:51.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(in normal voice){\i0} We called our parents\Nup, ''Come over, see the poo-poo.''
Dialogue: 0,0:42:51.36,0:42:55.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they came over. ''Oh, my God,\Nwill you look at the poo-poo?''
Dialogue: 0,0:43:01.17,0:43:03.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two months later,
Dialogue: 0,0:43:03.44,0:43:07.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,God put odor in the poo-poo.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:13.74,0:43:16.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it became a mess.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:17.58,0:43:20.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Parents didn't want to\Nchange the child anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:20.62,0:43:24.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they talked to the child:\N''Will you look at what you just did?
Dialogue: 0,0:43:26.06,0:43:30.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''No, l don't want to see that.\NYou made a mess, yucky, icky.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:30.93,0:43:32.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Messy!''
Dialogue: 0,0:43:34.50,0:43:38.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But as l said before, l was\Nthere changing my daughter,
Dialogue: 0,0:43:39.00,0:43:42.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my father stood over my shoulder,\Nput his head over my shoulder
Dialogue: 0,0:43:42.91,0:43:47.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he said,\N''What have you got there, son?''
Dialogue: 0,0:43:47.31,0:43:49.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''lt's a baby.''
Dialogue: 0,0:43:50.25,0:43:55.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''Oh, it looks to me like\Nyou didn't put the stem on the apple.''
Dialogue: 0,0:44:06.73,0:44:10.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l said, ''Yeah, Dad, you're right.''
Dialogue: 0,0:44:10.20,0:44:13.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(tsks){\i0} ''Shame.''
Dialogue: 0,0:44:14.17,0:44:18.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''Yeah.'' He said,\N''Well, you still got another chance.''
Dialogue: 0,0:44:18.11,0:44:21.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''l have a lot of chances.\NCamille's young and l'm young.''
Dialogue: 0,0:44:21.25,0:44:25.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''No, l'm not talking about that.\Nl'm talking about this child right here.''
Dialogue: 0,0:44:25.48,0:44:29.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''What are you talking about?''\NHe said, ''Well, grab hold of her nose
Dialogue: 0,0:44:30.06,0:44:32.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and blow real hard in her mouth.''
Dialogue: 0,0:44:45.34,0:44:51.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, as ridiculous as\Nsome things may sound,
Dialogue: 0,0:44:52.04,0:44:55.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there comes a time of desperation,
Dialogue: 0,0:44:56.21,0:44:58.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when no one's looking,
Dialogue: 0,0:44:59.38,0:45:03.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you will give the ridiculous a try.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:04.06,0:45:08.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Needless to say, l'm happy to\Nannounce that she's still a daughter.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:10.93,0:45:14.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l had trouble putting her eyes back in...
Dialogue: 0,0:45:19.57,0:45:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before my wife came into the room.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:22.71,0:45:26.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''How did her eyes get out?''\Nl don't know, dear, they just...
Dialogue: 0,0:45:33.78,0:45:39.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l'm happy to announce also\Nthat girls are much cleaner,
Dialogue: 0,0:45:40.59,0:45:43.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're much easier to deal with
Dialogue: 0,0:45:43.30,0:45:47.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in terms of maturity\Nand what's expected of them.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:47.60,0:45:51.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l have a son. He's 1 1 years old now,
Dialogue: 0,0:45:51.40,0:45:54.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l will tell you that
Dialogue: 0,0:45:54.17,0:45:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l don't think that the boy\Nis going to live much longer.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:05.65,0:46:07.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now,
Dialogue: 0,0:46:07.48,0:46:11.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is not l, nor my wife,
Dialogue: 0,0:46:11.92,0:46:16.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who are going to destroy this boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:17.30,0:46:21.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He has four sisters,\Ntwo in front and two in back.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:22.37,0:46:26.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have had a meeting about him.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:29.17,0:46:33.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l listened to the meeting-\Nthey didn't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:33.14,0:46:36.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And even the four-year-old was hostile.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:37.62,0:46:40.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're going to kill him.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:43.15,0:46:48.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l didn't know\Nhow serious it is to a female
Dialogue: 0,0:46:48.79,0:46:50.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you lift the lid.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:57.07,0:47:02.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But these women are serious\Nabout killing him
Dialogue: 0,0:47:02.24,0:47:05.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the next time he leaves that lid down.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:09.18,0:47:13.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, the only problem l have\Nwith him is he won't zip up his fly.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:13.82,0:47:18.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That bothers me. You know, it's almost\Na sign of someone who's not intelligent.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:18.42,0:47:23.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You walk around with your fly open.\NYou say, ''Son, zipper.'' ''Oh, yes.'' Zip.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:23.19,0:47:26.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that didn't bother me. Once\Nl went to pick him up at school
Dialogue: 0,0:47:26.60,0:47:30.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and his class let out\Nand there's about 1 8 1 1 -year-olds,
Dialogue: 0,0:47:30.87,0:47:34.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l mean, all of them,\Nthey had their fly down.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:35.61,0:47:37.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l didn't worry about my son.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:37.98,0:47:41.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Must be some class thing, you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:45.75,0:47:47.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, as l said before,
Dialogue: 0,0:47:47.82,0:47:52.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we found out an awful lot\Nabout God and his sense of humor.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:53.09,0:47:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The mother's curse works.\NMy wife and l have five children
Dialogue: 0,0:47:57.06,0:47:59.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the reason why\Nwe have five children
Dialogue: 0,0:47:59.60,0:48:02.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is because we do not want six.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:08.87,0:48:13.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And those we have,\Nwe want to get out of the house
Dialogue: 0,0:48:13.91,0:48:16.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before we die.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:16.55,0:48:18.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just to get them out.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:20.72,0:48:25.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife was a beautiful woman
Dialogue: 0,0:48:25.89,0:48:28.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before the children came.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:28.36,0:48:32.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l've never met a more\Nbeautiful-looking woman,
Dialogue: 0,0:48:32.53,0:48:36.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the face, in the body\Nand in the mind, than my wife.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:36.84,0:48:38.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then the children came
Dialogue: 0,0:48:39.07,0:48:44.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that curse began to take its toll.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:46.61,0:48:50.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife's face began to change.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:50.22,0:48:54.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The corners of her mouth\Ndropped down,
Dialogue: 0,0:48:54.35,0:48:57.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when she talked,\Nher eyebrows went up and down
Dialogue: 0,0:48:57.96,0:49:01.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and her right hand became deformed.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:01.39,0:49:03.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When she talked,\Nshe shook her finger like this:
Dialogue: 0,0:49:03.66,0:49:06.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(indistinct scolding){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:49:09.07,0:49:13.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what the curse did to her.\NBut the reason why the curse works
Dialogue: 0,0:49:13.30,0:49:18.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is because all children\Nhave brain damage.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:18.58,0:49:21.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's what makes\Nthe parent's face look like that.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:21.65,0:49:24.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, those of you who have\Nno children, let me describe
Dialogue: 0,0:49:24.62,0:49:28.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the brain damage. You come\Nin the room with a Coca Cola,
Dialogue: 0,0:49:28.35,0:49:30.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you set it down,\Nyou go to get a newspaper.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:30.96,0:49:34.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Child comes walking in,\Ngrabs the drink, starts to...
Dialogue: 0,0:49:34.39,0:49:37.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You say, ''Give me that.\NDidn't l just tell you not to drink it?''
Dialogue: 0,0:49:37.100,0:49:41.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The child says, ''Uh-huh.''\NYou say, ''What did l just say?''
Dialogue: 0,0:49:41.83,0:49:45.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating child){\i0} ''You said\Nfor to not for to drink your drink.''
Dialogue: 0,0:49:46.07,0:49:48.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So every time l tell you that,\Ndon't l? l say,
Dialogue: 0,0:49:48.34,0:49:51.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''When l have a drink, don't you drink it.\NDon't l say that?''
Dialogue: 0,0:49:51.18,0:49:54.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Uh-huh.'' Now tell me what l said.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:54.34,0:49:57.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating child){\i0} ''You said\Nfor to not for to drink your drink.''
Dialogue: 0,0:49:57.38,0:49:59.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right!
Dialogue: 0,0:49:59.68,0:50:04.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you put it down, you go to get\Nthe paper, the child picks it up again.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:04.12,0:50:06.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And quickly starts to drink it.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:06.32,0:50:09.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You say, ''Give me that!\NDidn't l just tell you?''
Dialogue: 0,0:50:09.53,0:50:11.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Uh-huh.''
Dialogue: 0,0:50:11.76,0:50:16.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, why did you do it? ''l don't know.''
Dialogue: 0,0:50:16.30,0:50:18.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, that's brain damage!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:19.84,0:50:23.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lf you know you're not supposed\Nto do something and you do it
Dialogue: 0,0:50:23.21,0:50:27.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then people say, ''Why did you\Ndo it?'' and you say, ''l don't know.''
Dialogue: 0,0:50:27.24,0:50:29.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brain damage.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:29.31,0:50:32.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's what parents\Nhave to deal with all day.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:32.12,0:50:36.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all you see, people,\N''l don't know, l don't know, l don't know.''
Dialogue: 0,0:50:37.09,0:50:40.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You get two people in the house\Nand they start to yell,
Dialogue: 0,0:50:41.12,0:50:44.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Will you stop touching me?\NWill you stop touching me?''
Dialogue: 0,0:50:44.66,0:50:48.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you have to get up\Nand go find out what's going on.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:48.30,0:50:53.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you run over and you say, ''What's\Ngoing on?'' ''Well, she's touching me.''
Dialogue: 0,0:50:53.50,0:50:57.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you figure you can solve it.\N''Look, don't touch her anymore, OK?''
Dialogue: 0,0:50:57.81,0:51:02.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Yeah, but she touched me first.''\NYou say, ''Well, why didn't you tell her--''
Dialogue: 0,0:51:02.75,0:51:06.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you're talking like them. ''Why\Ndidn't you say you touched her first?''
Dialogue: 0,0:51:06.55,0:51:09.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l didn't touch her.''\NSomebody touched her!
Dialogue: 0,0:51:09.85,0:51:13.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you say something brilliant, like,\N''Look, l don't want anybody in this house
Dialogue: 0,0:51:13.92,0:51:16.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to touch another person\Nas long as you live.''
Dialogue: 0,0:51:18.66,0:51:21.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's why people\Nlook the way they look.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:24.64,0:51:27.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My parents never smiled,
Dialogue: 0,0:51:27.40,0:51:30.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because l had brain damage.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:32.01,0:51:36.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife and l don't smile\Nbecause our children are loaded with it.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:38.45,0:51:40.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, my parents smile now,
Dialogue: 0,0:51:40.92,0:51:44.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whenever they come over to my house
Dialogue: 0,0:51:44.62,0:51:47.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they see how much\Ntrouble l'm having.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:47.86,0:51:49.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, they have a ball.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:51.03,0:51:54.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Having a little trouble, huh, son?''
Dialogue: 0,0:51:58.80,0:52:03.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l mean, l never thought that l\Nwould sound like other parents,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:03.47,0:52:06.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people l've heard\Nwho are ridiculous-sounding,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:06.61,0:52:10.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or were, before l had children.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:10.95,0:52:14.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l mean, you call a child, you\Nsay, ''Come here, come here.''
Dialogue: 0,0:52:14.15,0:52:16.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, they don't hear that. They're gone.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:16.75,0:52:19.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You say, ''Come here.'' They're just:
Dialogue: 0,0:52:21.26,0:52:24.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you have to send\Na barrage of ''here''s after them.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:24.66,0:52:27.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Come here, come here,\Ncome here, come here,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:27.16,0:52:29.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,come here! Here!''
Dialogue: 0,0:52:35.44,0:52:38.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sound like a tobacco auctioneer.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:39.81,0:52:43.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(rapidly){\i0} Sit down, sit down,\Nsit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit!
Dialogue: 0,0:52:48.35,0:52:51.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, no, no, no, no, no, no,\Nno, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:53.32,0:52:55.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here, here, here. Here!
Dialogue: 0,0:52:57.53,0:52:59.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:59.60,0:53:02.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it!
Dialogue: 0,0:53:09.74,0:53:14.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l used to think that\Nmy father was an idiot
Dialogue: 0,0:53:15.61,0:53:20.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the man could not\Ncomplete a full sentence.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:21.05,0:53:25.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l now understand\Nwhy he sounded that way.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:25.76,0:53:29.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, when you're a father,\Nyou censor yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:29.16,0:53:32.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You try not to curse.\NYou get just as angry with a child
Dialogue: 0,0:53:32.50,0:53:36.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you don't want to say\N''What the filth and l'll bust your filth
Dialogue: 0,0:53:36.17,0:53:41.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''and foul and l'll filth your face\Nand yeah, you filthin' foul foul filth
Dialogue: 0,0:53:41.14,0:53:45.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l'll filth in your foul filth.''\NYou don't want to say that to a child
Dialogue: 0,0:53:45.44,0:53:48.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you censor yourself\Nand you sound like an idiot.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:48.65,0:53:50.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Say, what the...
Dialogue: 0,0:53:51.05,0:53:53.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get your...
Dialogue: 0,0:53:53.55,0:53:55.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l'll put a...
Dialogue: 0,0:53:56.95,0:53:59.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get out of my face!
Dialogue: 0,0:54:10.57,0:54:13.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you... my wife...
Dialogue: 0,0:54:14.77,0:54:17.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, mothers look like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:18.48,0:54:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fathers have a different look.\NTheirs is like:
Dialogue: 0,0:54:28.19,0:54:32.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And fathers always say the same\Nthing: ''Where's your mother?''
Dialogue: 0,0:54:45.87,0:54:50.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l flew from Hartford, Connecticut\Nto Las Vegas
Dialogue: 0,0:54:51.08,0:54:54.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just within the last...
Dialogue: 0,0:54:54.41,0:54:56.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,few years.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:59.62,0:55:04.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l will never forget a mother,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:04.19,0:55:06.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,aged 30 through...
Dialogue: 0,0:55:08.29,0:55:12.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Got on the plane.\NVery attractive-looking woman,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:12.63,0:55:15.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well-built, lovely face,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:15.60,0:55:19.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hair put up in a bun, sprayed heavily.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:21.54,0:55:25.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Earrings, looking very\Nupper-middle income.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:25.88,0:55:28.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gold on the fingers.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:28.81,0:55:33.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she had with her little Jeffrey.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:34.82,0:55:40.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jeffrey's {\i1}(imitating child){\i0} four years old.\N{\i1}(in normal voice){\i0} l know that because
Dialogue: 0,0:55:40.46,0:55:42.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jeffrey kept walking around the plane,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:42.76,0:55:46.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just anybody, he'd say,\N''l'm four years old.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:47.20,0:55:49.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l'm four-l'm four years old.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:49.37,0:55:53.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l was three, but now l'm four years old.''
Dialogue: 0,0:55:54.10,0:55:56.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Little Jeffrey.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:56.24,0:56:00.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l remember his name, not because\Nhe said to me, ''l'm four years old,''
Dialogue: 0,0:56:00.68,0:56:05.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but because Jeffrey's mother\Nsaid his name
Dialogue: 0,0:56:05.38,0:56:09.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all 2,500 miles of the trip.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:11.56,0:56:15.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody on first class could\Nsleep because the woman,
Dialogue: 0,0:56:15.66,0:56:17.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Jeffrey, will you get down.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:17.80,0:56:20.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Jeffrey, don't do that,\NJeffrey, come over here.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:20.83,0:56:22.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Look at what you've done,\NJeffrey, you've kicked the...
Dialogue: 0,0:56:23.10,0:56:25.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Jeffrey, will you please...\NJeffrey, put your jacket...
Dialogue: 0,0:56:25.57,0:56:27.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't do that, Jeffrey...''
Dialogue: 0,0:56:27.27,0:56:30.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jeffrey would stand up in the chair\Nand look at the little man behind.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:30.57,0:56:33.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l'm four years old.''
Dialogue: 0,0:56:33.18,0:56:37.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody could sleep 'cause Jeffrey's up.\NHe'd get out, she'd let him run around.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:37.58,0:56:40.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He'd run around with chocolate\Non his hands, put it on your trousers.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:40.58,0:56:41.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l'm four years old.''
Dialogue: 0,0:56:41.85,0:56:44.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Jeffrey, don't you see\Nwhat you've done to the man,
Dialogue: 0,0:56:44.42,0:56:48.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jeffrey, go to... Sit down, Jeffrey.''\NShe'd sit him down, higher and higher.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:48.39,0:56:51.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She'd lift him and hold him\Nand let him drop. Boom!
Dialogue: 0,0:56:51.36,0:56:54.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Jeffrey, Jeffrey,'' and Jeffrey would\N{\i1}(imitates crying){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:56:54.90,0:56:55.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Jeffrey, be quiet.''
Dialogue: 0,0:56:56.03,0:56:57.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates crying){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:56:57.47,0:57:00.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then Jeffrey would cough.\N{\i1}(imitates coughing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:57:02.04,0:57:05.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People began to hate Jeffrey.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:06.48,0:57:09.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One gentlemen invited Jeffrey\Ninto the men's room
Dialogue: 0,0:57:09.38,0:57:12.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to play with the blue water.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:18.49,0:57:23.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Emotionally,\Npeople began to fear Jeffrey,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:23.49,0:57:25.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and nobody slept.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:26.86,0:57:30.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Five minutes before the plane landed,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:30.80,0:57:33.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jeffrey fell asleep.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:36.51,0:57:41.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And grown people in first class\Ntook great delight,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:41.51,0:57:43.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as they walked out,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:43.78,0:57:48.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in waking Jeffrey up. ''Goodbye, Jeffrey!''
Dialogue: 0,0:57:48.99,0:57:50.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates crying){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:57:51.06,0:57:54.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they'd laugh. {\i1}(maniacal laughing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:57:54.26,0:57:59.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sounding like Renfield.\N{\i1}(maniacal laughing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:58:02.63,0:58:05.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Jeffrey's mother,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:05.14,0:58:07.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hair mangled
Dialogue: 0,0:58:08.07,0:58:13.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and just hanging by\Nthe ball that was sprayed,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:13.54,0:58:16.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the mascara had run
Dialogue: 0,0:58:16.78,0:58:20.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the lines caused by her anger
Dialogue: 0,0:58:20.98,0:58:23.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gone deeper into her face.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:23.72,0:58:25.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She looked much older,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:25.49,0:58:26.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She looked much older,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:26.62,0:58:29.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she looked tired.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:29.56,0:58:31.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She picked Jeffrey up.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:31.73,0:58:36.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jeffrey's little limp,\Nsleeping body twitched.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:37.94,0:58:39.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She carried him off.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:40.00,0:58:43.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There at the end of the runway,\Nat the end of the ramp, rather,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:43.81,0:58:47.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was Jeffrey's father,\Nsmiling, well-tanned,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:47.98,0:58:52.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,little red, white and blue\Ncheckered golf pants on,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:52.55,0:58:55.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,short-sleeved shirt.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:55.25,0:58:59.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Jeffrey's mother\Nhanded Jeffrey to the father
Dialogue: 0,0:58:59.82,0:59:03.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and punched him dead in the face.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:13.34,0:59:15.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't know why.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:16.54,0:59:19.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jeffrey's such a lovely child.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:21.88,0:59:24.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you see, they're brain damaged.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:25.92,0:59:30.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Children doing things:\N''Will you stop touching me?''
Dialogue: 0,0:59:30.35,0:59:34.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Psychologists write about\Na two-year-old child.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:34.92,0:59:38.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lt's not a two-year-old child\Nthat says ''no'' that bothers me.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:38.90,0:59:42.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lf l can't control that,\Nl might as well give it up.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:42.57,0:59:46.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You say to a kid, ''Come here,''\Nthey say, ''No, you go get it,'' that's yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:49.94,0:59:54.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People don't understand children,\Nespecially people who have no children.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:54.58,0:59:58.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A person with no children says,\N''Well, l just love children.''
Dialogue: 0,0:59:58.55,1:00:00.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You say, ''Why?''
Dialogue: 0,1:00:01.72,1:00:04.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they say,\N''Because the child is so truthful.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:04.76,1:00:09.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Children are truthful, that's what\Nl love about them, they say the truth.''
Dialogue: 0,1:00:09.13,1:00:11.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a lie!
Dialogue: 0,1:00:11.63,1:00:13.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l got five of them.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:14.10,1:00:17.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only time they tell the truth\Nis if they're having pain.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:20.67,1:00:26.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You get a 1 5-month-old child,\Nknows when to lie.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:27.31,1:00:32.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, the child crawls into\Nthe cupboard to get its favorite cookie.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:32.55,1:00:35.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,1 5-month-old child\Nknows where the cupboard is,
Dialogue: 0,1:00:35.59,1:00:38.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,knows where its favorite cookie is,\Nand it will open it up
Dialogue: 0,1:00:38.76,1:00:40.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sit down and take the cookie\Nand you go over.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:40.99,1:00:44.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You try to get the cookie from the child,\Nwhich is also a contest.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:44.66,1:00:49.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Here, let me have it.'' l've tried to\Ntake things away from grown people,
Dialogue: 0,1:00:49.60,1:00:53.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l've never had them say, ''Will you\Nlet me have... Give me that thing.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:53.47,1:00:57.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here, let me have...\Nl tell you, let me have that thing.''
Dialogue: 0,1:00:57.34,1:01:02.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here, a 1 5-month-old child\Nis able to do this and l can't grab it.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:03.11,1:01:06.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Here, will you let me have,\Nwill you give that thing to me?''
Dialogue: 0,1:01:08.72,1:01:13.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l take the cookie. And l take the box
Dialogue: 0,1:01:13.16,1:01:17.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l put the cookie in the box\Nand l say, ''You can't have this.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:17.46,1:01:21.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You understand? l don't\Nwant you to have the cookie.''
Dialogue: 0,1:01:21.50,1:01:22.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now...
Dialogue: 0,1:01:25.74,1:01:29.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l put it way up here.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:30.17,1:01:33.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, this 1 5-month-old child,\Nafter l've left the room,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:34.08,1:01:36.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,begins to build
Dialogue: 0,1:01:37.68,1:01:40.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a very sophisticated ladder,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:41.95,1:01:44.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,climbs up the ladder,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:49.59,1:01:54.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and begins to try to get the cookie.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:55.10,1:01:59.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, you can hear the paper\Nrustling and that's in your favor
Dialogue: 0,1:01:59.57,1:02:05.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because a 1 5-month-old child\Ndoesn't know that sound travels.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:07.51,1:02:11.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're also not bright enough\Nto hire a lookout.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:13.15,1:02:17.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you hear the paper rattling\Nand you run
Dialogue: 0,1:02:17.19,1:02:22.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there's the child\Nstanding there with the cookie.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:22.13,1:02:24.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you say, ''What are you doing?''
Dialogue: 0,1:02:24.56,1:02:29.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, this honest child\Nlooks at you and says,
Dialogue: 0,1:02:29.23,1:02:32.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating child){\i0} ''l was\Ngetting a cookie for you.''
Dialogue: 0,1:02:38.64,1:02:41.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you say, ''l don't want a cookie!''
Dialogue: 0,1:02:41.14,1:02:44.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So then they say, ''Well, can l have it?''
Dialogue: 0,1:02:46.18,1:02:48.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't tell me about the truth!
Dialogue: 0,1:02:53.89,1:02:56.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why did you do it? ''l don't know.''
Dialogue: 0,1:03:00.03,1:03:03.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l came home\Nfrom playing tennis one day,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:03.27,1:03:07.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my wife sitting at the end of the table,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:08.94,1:03:10.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like this:
Dialogue: 0,1:03:13.31,1:03:18.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l said, ''Uh-oh.\NSomebody's in trouble.''
Dialogue: 0,1:03:18.82,1:03:21.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l was concerned about myself.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:25.72,1:03:28.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l'm not the boss of my house.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:28.83,1:03:31.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l don't know how l lost it.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:32.100,1:03:36.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l don't know where l lost it.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:36.20,1:03:38.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l don't think l ever had it.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:40.80,1:03:45.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But l've seen the boss's job\Nand l don't want it.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:47.51,1:03:51.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Cause that's a rough job,\Ndealing with those people all day.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:51.95,1:03:56.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l mean, just dealing with them\Nfor an hour is a mess.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:57.09,1:03:59.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating child){\i0} ''l don't know.''
Dialogue: 0,1:04:01.26,1:04:04.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you see, l'm a father,
Dialogue: 0,1:04:04.46,1:04:09.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and fathers are\Nthe geniuses of the house.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:09.43,1:04:13.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're the geniuses of the house\Nbecause only a person
Dialogue: 0,1:04:13.37,1:04:17.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as intelligent as we
Dialogue: 0,1:04:17.31,1:04:20.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could fake such stupidity.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:24.95,1:04:26.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Think about your father.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:27.02,1:04:32.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He doesn't know where anything is.\NYou ask him to do something,
Dialogue: 0,1:04:32.46,1:04:35.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he messes it up\Nand your mother sends you down.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:35.53,1:04:37.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Will you go down\Nand see what your father's doing
Dialogue: 0,1:04:38.10,1:04:41.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before he blows the house up, please.''
Dialogue: 0,1:04:41.50,1:04:43.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a genius at work!
Dialogue: 0,1:04:43.97,1:04:47.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because he doesn't want to do it
Dialogue: 0,1:04:47.20,1:04:52.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he knows someone will be\Ncoming soon to stop him from doing it.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:59.75,1:05:04.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife woke me up\N4:00 in the morning.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:04.39,1:05:08.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said, ''l want you to go downstairs
Dialogue: 0,1:05:09.99,1:05:15.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and cook breakfast for the children.''
Dialogue: 0,1:05:16.47,1:05:19.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l looked at the clock.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:21.30,1:05:24.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''Dear, it's 6:00 in the morning.''
Dialogue: 0,1:05:24.17,1:05:27.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said, ''Exactly. Go down\Nand cook for the children.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:27.81,1:05:29.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have to go to school.''
Dialogue: 0,1:05:30.91,1:05:35.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''Yes, but to eat at 6:00,
Dialogue: 0,1:05:35.45,1:05:38.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''isn't that bad for your stomach?
Dialogue: 0,1:05:38.82,1:05:42.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l mean, they just ate 1 2 hours ago.''
Dialogue: 0,1:05:43.19,1:05:47.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife said, ''Bill, get out of that bed
Dialogue: 0,1:05:48.53,1:05:51.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''and go downstairs
Dialogue: 0,1:05:51.27,1:05:55.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and cook breakfast for your children.''
Dialogue: 0,1:05:58.38,1:06:02.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l said, ''Well, l don't know\Nwhat they want to eat.''
Dialogue: 0,1:06:02.21,1:06:05.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said, ''lt's down there.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:06.15,1:06:09.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you get out of the bed!''
Dialogue: 0,1:06:11.15,1:06:14.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''But where are the pans?
Dialogue: 0,1:06:14.32,1:06:17.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do we have pans to cook with?''
Dialogue: 0,1:06:17.53,1:06:23.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said, ''Bill, l'm not\Ntalking to you anymore.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:23.43,1:06:26.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''You ask another stupid\Nquestion, so help me God,
Dialogue: 0,1:06:27.07,1:06:32.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l'll get the shotgun out of the closet\Nand blow your face off!''
Dialogue: 0,1:06:34.48,1:06:39.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l said, ''Well, there's no need\Nto become violent about this.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:40.68,1:06:44.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''You seem to be\Nhaving trouble intellectualizing
Dialogue: 0,1:06:44.29,1:06:47.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on where the cooking apparel is.''
Dialogue: 0,1:06:50.56,1:06:53.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l fell back to sleep again.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:56.10,1:06:58.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next thing l knew,
Dialogue: 0,1:06:58.67,1:07:01.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there was a bucket of ice water
Dialogue: 0,1:07:02.74,1:07:05.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being shaken over my head,
Dialogue: 0,1:07:06.84,1:07:11.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this woman that l've been\Nmarried to for some 1 7 years
Dialogue: 0,1:07:11.88,1:07:14.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was standing over me, like this:
Dialogue: 0,1:07:17.49,1:07:20.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Now you get up\Nand cook some breakfast
Dialogue: 0,1:07:20.99,1:07:25.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or you're gonna wear\Nthis bucket of ice water!''
Dialogue: 0,1:07:27.10,1:07:30.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l said, ''You're serious, aren't you?''
Dialogue: 0,1:07:35.94,1:07:37.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l got up.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:38.11,1:07:40.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Needless to say, l was angry.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:42.98,1:07:46.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l went downstairs\Nwithout putting on my robe.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:47.02,1:07:51.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Standing there in my pajamas\Nand l'm talking to myself.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:51.32,1:07:53.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''Get these, go down\Nand cook breakfast,
Dialogue: 0,1:07:53.99,1:07:57.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's 6:00 in the morning,''\Nand l slam the pans down.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:58.06,1:08:00.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Blam! On the stove.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:00.13,1:08:03.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l slam 'em down\Nand go to the refrigerator
Dialogue: 0,1:08:04.07,1:08:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l look around and l get to\Nthe damn bacon, and the sausage!
Dialogue: 0,1:08:08.10,1:08:12.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cooking breakfast, 6 o'blam\Nin the morning and l grab the--
Dialogue: 0,1:08:12.54,1:08:15.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to be careful with eggs.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:21.12,1:08:24.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,God! l have to cook breakfast. Boom!
Dialogue: 0,1:08:27.42,1:08:29.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l turn around.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:31.09,1:08:34.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first one down\Nwas the four-year-old.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:35.03,1:08:38.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The child looked lovely,\Ncute little face clean,
Dialogue: 0,1:08:38.97,1:08:43.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hair in little braids,\Nlittle things, you know.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:46.08,1:08:49.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating child){\i0} ''Good morn', Daddy.''
Dialogue: 0,1:08:49.48,1:08:52.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l said, ''What do you\Nwant for breakfast?!''
Dialogue: 0,1:08:52.52,1:08:57.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the four-year-old\Nhas the ability to see through
Dialogue: 0,1:08:57.39,1:09:00.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and find the wrong thing.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:02.02,1:09:07.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the child saw through\Nmy body what was behind me.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:07.63,1:09:11.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She saw the chocolate cake.\NAnd she said,
Dialogue: 0,1:09:11.27,1:09:16.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Can l have the chocolate cake?''\NAnd l said, ''Chocolate cake? Where?''
Dialogue: 0,1:09:16.61,1:09:19.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said, ''Chocolate cake behind you.''
Dialogue: 0,1:09:19.98,1:09:23.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l looked\Nand there was chocolate cake.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:23.91,1:09:28.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The child wanted chocolate cake\Nfor breakfast.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:29.02,1:09:30.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How ridiculous. And l said...
Dialogue: 0,1:09:30.85,1:09:33.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How ridiculous. And l said...
Dialogue: 0,1:09:33.49,1:09:37.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and someone in my brain looked\Nunder ''chocolate cake''
Dialogue: 0,1:09:37.23,1:09:41.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and saw the ingredients: eggs!
Dialogue: 0,1:09:41.36,1:09:44.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eggs are in chocolate cake!
Dialogue: 0,1:09:44.87,1:09:47.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And milk!
Dialogue: 0,1:09:47.20,1:09:49.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, goody!
Dialogue: 0,1:09:49.27,1:09:51.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And wheat!
Dialogue: 0,1:09:51.61,1:09:55.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's nutrition. What do you want?
Dialogue: 0,1:09:55.58,1:09:58.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- ''Can l have some chocolate cake?''\N- Chocolate cake, coming up!
Dialogue: 0,1:09:58.98,1:10:00.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates slicing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:10:00.25,1:10:03.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sliced it for her and served it.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:03.52,1:10:06.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, you need something to\Ndrink with the chocolate cake,
Dialogue: 0,1:10:06.52,1:10:08.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something breakfast.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:08.82,1:10:12.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Grapefruit juice!\N- {\i1}(woman in audience){\i0} No-o-o!
Dialogue: 0,1:10:14.20,1:10:16.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is not your child!
Dialogue: 0,1:10:21.20,1:10:24.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l give the child\Na glass of grapefruit juice
Dialogue: 0,1:10:24.57,1:10:27.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and chocolate cake. Nutrition!
Dialogue: 0,1:10:27.61,1:10:32.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eggs, milk and wheat\Nin the chocolate cake,
Dialogue: 0,1:10:33.05,1:10:37.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l didn't have to cook.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:37.22,1:10:39.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the other four came downstairs
Dialogue: 0,1:10:39.82,1:10:43.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when they came downstairs,\Nthose of you who have children,
Dialogue: 0,1:10:44.06,1:10:48.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've seen them\Ncome downstairs for school:
Dialogue: 0,1:10:48.70,1:10:51.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating sluggish children){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:10:58.04,1:11:02.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they got to the kitchen:\N{\i1}(imitating sluggish children){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:11:04.71,1:11:09.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they saw the four-year-old\Neating chocolate cake.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:12.42,1:11:16.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they said ''Dad!
Dialogue: 0,1:11:17.69,1:11:20.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where did she get the chocolate cake?''
Dialogue: 0,1:11:20.56,1:11:23.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They went to the child and said,\N''How did you get chocolate cake?''
Dialogue: 0,1:11:23.63,1:11:28.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said,\N''Dad gave me chocolate cake.''
Dialogue: 0,1:11:28.17,1:11:31.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they looked at me and they said...
Dialogue: 0,1:11:31.51,1:11:33.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(in pleading voice){\i0} ''Father...
Dialogue: 0,1:11:38.22,1:11:41.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could we have chocolate cake?''
Dialogue: 0,1:11:42.38,1:11:47.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And their father said, ''Chocolate cake\Ncoming up! Four slices.''
Dialogue: 0,1:11:47.46,1:11:49.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates slicing sound){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:11:50.76,1:11:53.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And grapefruit juice.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:53.23,1:11:56.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And five children sat at breakfast.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:58.24,1:12:02.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the morning music was playing:\N{\i1}(imitates bass guitar){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:12:02.10,1:12:04.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they were eating chocolate cake.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:06.84,1:12:08.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And singing songs to me:
Dialogue: 0,1:12:09.04,1:12:11.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}d{\i0} Dad is great!
Dialogue: 0,1:12:13.75,1:12:16.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}d{\i0} Gave us the chocolate cake!
Dialogue: 0,1:12:19.72,1:12:24.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we had a ball, until...
Dialogue: 0,1:12:35.74,1:12:39.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She came down like this:
Dialogue: 0,1:12:42.41,1:12:46.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when she saw\Nwhat the children were eating...
Dialogue: 0,1:12:48.32,1:12:53.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l've always heard about\Npeople having a conniption,
Dialogue: 0,1:12:55.86,1:12:58.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but l'd never seen one.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:59.20,1:13:02.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't want to see 'em.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:02.13,1:13:04.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife's face...
Dialogue: 0,1:13:06.44,1:13:08.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,split.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:09.84,1:13:14.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The skin and hair split\Nand came off of her face
Dialogue: 0,1:13:14.88,1:13:19.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that there was nothing\Nexcept the skull
Dialogue: 0,1:13:19.25,1:13:23.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and orange light came out of her hair
Dialogue: 0,1:13:23.52,1:13:26.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it lit all around
Dialogue: 0,1:13:26.19,1:13:29.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and fire shot from her eye sockets
Dialogue: 0,1:13:29.96,1:13:34.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and began to burn my stomach\Nand she said
Dialogue: 0,1:13:34.23,1:13:39.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(in screechy voice){\i0} ''Where did\Nthey get chocolate cake from?!''
Dialogue: 0,1:13:39.64,1:13:43.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l said, ''They asked for it!''
Dialogue: 0,1:13:43.34,1:13:48.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the children who had\Nbeen singing praises to me
Dialogue: 0,1:13:48.68,1:13:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lied on me
Dialogue: 0,1:13:51.98,1:13:54.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and said, ''Uh-uh!
Dialogue: 0,1:13:54.42,1:13:57.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''We asked for eggs and milk
Dialogue: 0,1:13:57.99,1:14:01.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Dad made us eat this!''
Dialogue: 0,1:14:10.00,1:14:15.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my wife sent me to my room.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:18.17,1:14:22.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is where l wanted\Nto go in the first place.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:25.75,1:14:29.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you see, we are dumb,
Dialogue: 0,1:14:30.29,1:14:33.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we are not so dumb.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:34.46,1:14:39.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lt takes great thinking and work\Nto keep from working.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:43.13,1:14:45.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the brain-damaged people
Dialogue: 0,1:14:47.90,1:14:50.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,drive your face...
Dialogue: 0,1:14:52.88,1:14:56.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why did you do that?\N{\i1}(imitating child){\i0} ''l don't know.''
Dialogue: 0,1:14:56.48,1:14:59.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes you hear it in your sleep.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:00.05,1:15:02.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l don't know.''
Dialogue: 0,1:15:05.59,1:15:07.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have a three-year-old.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:09.29,1:15:12.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everything she wants,
Dialogue: 0,1:15:12.13,1:15:15.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she thinks it's all right just to take it.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:16.73,1:15:20.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, sometimes it\Nbelongs to someone else.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:20.74,1:15:26.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the others say, ''Give this\Nback. This belongs to me.''
Dialogue: 0,1:15:26.24,1:15:31.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the three-year-old says,\N{\i1}(piercing voice){\i0} ''Mine! Mine! Mine!''
Dialogue: 0,1:15:32.18,1:15:36.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this sound travels\Nthrough the house
Dialogue: 0,1:15:37.79,1:15:43.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the vibrations seek out\Na grown person's spinal cord
Dialogue: 0,1:15:46.20,1:15:51.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it makes the legs go up\Nand down and you have to get up
Dialogue: 0,1:15:51.97,1:15:55.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and find out where\Nthe sound is coming from.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:55.80,1:15:57.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(piercing voice){\i0} ''Mine! Mine!''
Dialogue: 0,1:15:57.87,1:16:01.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you see this child\Npulling on something and yelling,
Dialogue: 0,1:16:01.24,1:16:03.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(piercing voice){\i0} ''Mine!''\NAnd at the end of it
Dialogue: 0,1:16:03.58,1:16:06.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is an older child mumbling,\N''No, you got this out of my room.''
Dialogue: 0,1:16:06.52,1:16:10.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you go up quickly\Nand you hit the older child.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:10.69,1:16:14.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Why don't you lay off?\NDon't you hear her yelling?!''
Dialogue: 0,1:16:14.52,1:16:18.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because parents are not\Ninterested in justice...
Dialogue: 0,1:16:18.46,1:16:20.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they want quiet.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:28.17,1:16:31.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The older child ran off crying\Nand l said, ''Just shut up!
Dialogue: 0,1:16:32.01,1:16:35.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''She's got stuff that belongs to me, too!
Dialogue: 0,1:16:39.38,1:16:42.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Think you're by yourself\Nin this, you're crazy!''
Dialogue: 0,1:16:49.29,1:16:53.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l came home from playing tennis,\Nas l said before.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:54.20,1:16:56.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife was like this,
Dialogue: 0,1:16:56.90,1:17:00.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l was hoping that l wasn't the one
Dialogue: 0,1:17:00.74,1:17:03.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she was looking like that about.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:04.04,1:17:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l went up to her\Nand l kissed her on the cheek.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:07.61,1:17:10.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''How you feeling, Pud?''
Dialogue: 0,1:17:10.58,1:17:13.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said, ''l want you...
Dialogue: 0,1:17:13.75,1:17:16.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''to go upstairs...
Dialogue: 0,1:17:18.92,1:17:22.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and kill that boy.''
Dialogue: 0,1:17:26.36,1:17:29.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l said, ''Right!''
Dialogue: 0,1:17:29.100,1:17:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Cause l was happy\Nl wasn't the one in trouble.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:34.57,1:17:36.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kill the boy, kill the boy.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:37.01,1:17:39.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, master. Yes, master.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:39.18,1:17:43.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(maniacal laughter){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:17:43.15,1:17:46.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l go to kill my son.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:46.42,1:17:48.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was in the room,
Dialogue: 0,1:17:48.48,1:17:53.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,looking pitiful. And l can understand that
Dialogue: 0,1:17:53.89,1:17:57.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because my mother sent me\Nto the room many times.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:57.33,1:18:01.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Your father comes home, he's going\Nto shoot you in the face with a bazooka.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:03.10,1:18:06.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''And l am not going to\Nstop him this time, either.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:06.60,1:18:10.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''You know, he's always\Nwanted to kill you.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:10.77,1:18:13.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''The day you were born,\Nhe said, 'Kill it.'
Dialogue: 0,1:18:14.61,1:18:18.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l stopped him from\Nkilling you for 1 1 years.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:23.05,1:18:27.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(sobbing){\i0} And this is the thanks\Nl get for saving your life!''
Dialogue: 0,1:18:30.29,1:18:32.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(sniffs){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:18:34.50,1:18:38.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l looked at him, l said,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:38.60,1:18:41.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Your mother sent me here to kill you.''
Dialogue: 0,1:18:43.17,1:18:45.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''Uh-huh.''
Dialogue: 0,1:18:49.04,1:18:52.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l looked at him
Dialogue: 0,1:18:52.12,1:18:56.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l noticed that on top of his head,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:57.45,1:19:01.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from here all the way around to here,
Dialogue: 0,1:19:02.79,1:19:05.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there was no hair.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:11.50,1:19:13.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l said, ''Uh...
Dialogue: 0,1:19:16.61,1:19:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,son.''
Dialogue: 0,1:19:18.98,1:19:20.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Called him son...
Dialogue: 0,1:19:22.68,1:19:24.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said,
Dialogue: 0,1:19:26.75,1:19:29.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''What happened to your hair?''
Dialogue: 0,1:19:30.92,1:19:33.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''l don't know.''
Dialogue: 0,1:19:40.73,1:19:45.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''Son, take your hand
Dialogue: 0,1:19:45.80,1:19:48.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''and put it on top of your head
Dialogue: 0,1:19:49.10,1:19:51.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and tell me what you feel.''
Dialogue: 0,1:19:53.18,1:19:55.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''There's no hair.''
Dialogue: 0,1:19:55.98,1:19:58.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''Right!
Dialogue: 0,1:19:58.18,1:20:03.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now tell Dad\Nwhat happened to your hair.''
Dialogue: 0,1:20:03.45,1:20:06.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''l don't know.''
Dialogue: 0,1:20:06.16,1:20:08.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''Son,
Dialogue: 0,1:20:08.99,1:20:13.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was your head with you all day today?''
Dialogue: 0,1:20:17.53,1:20:19.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''Uh-huh.''
Dialogue: 0,1:20:20.97,1:20:24.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- l said, ''Did you cut your hair off?''\N- He said, ''Uh-huh.''
Dialogue: 0,1:20:25.01,1:20:27.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''Then why\Ndidn't you tell me that?''
Dialogue: 0,1:20:27.24,1:20:30.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''l don't know.''
Dialogue: 0,1:20:31.08,1:20:34.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''ls this the hairstyle you wanted?''
Dialogue: 0,1:20:34.22,1:20:36.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''Uh-huh.''
Dialogue: 0,1:20:36.52,1:20:39.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''A reversed Mohawk?!''
Dialogue: 0,1:20:42.69,1:20:46.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So l went back downstairs,\Nmy wife said, ''Did you kill him?''
Dialogue: 0,1:20:46.90,1:20:50.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''No.'' She said, ''Why?''\Nl said, ''l don't know.''
Dialogue: 0,1:21:07.48,1:21:10.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you guys married?\NOh, yeah? How long?
Dialogue: 0,1:21:10.89,1:21:14.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- {\i1}(man){\i0} Three years.\N- Three years. Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:14.16,1:21:17.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're still holding hands?
Dialogue: 0,1:21:17.96,1:21:20.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Weird people.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:25.57,1:21:27.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Are you married?\N- {\i1}(man #2){\i0} Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:27.27,1:21:30.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- How many years?\N- {\i1}(man #2){\i0} 35.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:30.21,1:21:32.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,35? Where's your wife?
Dialogue: 0,1:21:32.81,1:21:34.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(audience laughing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:21:52.73,1:21:54.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l found out that
Dialogue: 0,1:21:56.43,1:22:01.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the male does not\Npay attention to the vows.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:02.07,1:22:05.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The male does not\Npay attention to those vows.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:05.14,1:22:07.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The female does.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:07.21,1:22:10.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, you ask a male, you say, um,
Dialogue: 0,1:22:10.91,1:22:13.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Can you repeat the part with the vows?
Dialogue: 0,1:22:13.78,1:22:17.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''No, not 'Dearly beloved,\Nwe are gathered here to witness
Dialogue: 0,1:22:17.19,1:22:19.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'in all the face and the thing...'''\Nyou know...
Dialogue: 0,1:22:21.16,1:22:22.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But l do duly, doth-ly, solely...
Dialogue: 0,1:22:22.29,1:22:26.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But l do duly, doth-ly, solely...
Dialogue: 0,1:22:27.80,1:22:31.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,promise... to! to!
Dialogue: 0,1:22:32.10,1:22:35.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,promise to cherish...
Dialogue: 0,1:22:36.37,1:22:38.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The male can remember cherish.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:39.04,1:22:42.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The male can remember honor,
Dialogue: 0,1:22:42.71,1:22:44.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,love and then you say, ''What else?''
Dialogue: 0,1:22:45.08,1:22:49.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they say, ''Till death do us part.''
Dialogue: 0,1:22:49.15,1:22:52.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now when you ask the female,\Nyou say, ''Do you remember the vows?''
Dialogue: 0,1:22:52.86,1:22:55.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She says, ''Yes.'' You say,\N''Well, what do you remember?''
Dialogue: 0,1:22:55.59,1:22:57.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She says, ''Obey.''
Dialogue: 0,1:23:01.43,1:23:04.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You say, ''What about it?''\NShe say, ''Well, he's obeying.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:04.83,1:23:07.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he better obey.''
Dialogue: 0,1:23:09.17,1:23:13.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that is how you become the boss,
Dialogue: 0,1:23:14.44,1:23:19.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because you get the male to obey.\NHe's got to obey.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:19.75,1:23:24.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l mean, he just doesn't\Nhave anything else to do.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:24.19,1:23:25.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obey.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:25.49,1:23:27.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's a funny-sounding word, obey.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:27.96,1:23:30.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sounds like pig Latin.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:31.63,1:23:33.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obey.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:33.36,1:23:35.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obey.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:36.43,1:23:39.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, yea, obey.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:41.54,1:23:45.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, my wife is the boss
Dialogue: 0,1:23:46.74,1:23:49.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and as l said before, l don't want her job,
Dialogue: 0,1:23:49.18,1:23:53.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l've seen it. lt's a horrible job.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:53.22,1:23:57.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l still don't understand\Nhow she's going to outlive me.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:02.49,1:24:05.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Cause anybody who's\Ngotta deal emotionally
Dialogue: 0,1:24:05.56,1:24:09.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with those people\Nand can still outlive me,
Dialogue: 0,1:24:09.56,1:24:12.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's something wrong with me.\Nl must be sick.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:16.37,1:24:19.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me give you an example\Nof what l call,
Dialogue: 0,1:24:19.48,1:24:22.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''the same thing happens every night.''
Dialogue: 0,1:24:25.11,1:24:28.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lt's supper time.\NDo you have children? How old?
Dialogue: 0,1:24:28.58,1:24:30.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- {\i1}(man){\i0} They're grown now.\N- They're grown now.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:30.99,1:24:33.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But how many did you have? Two. OK.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:33.92,1:24:36.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That qualifies. That qualifies.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:36.63,1:24:40.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because a person with one child,\Nl don't call them really a parent
Dialogue: 0,1:24:40.43,1:24:42.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because there are\Ntoo many things left out.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:42.90,1:24:45.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lf you just have one child,\Nthere are too many things left out.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:45.87,1:24:49.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For instance, if something's\Nbroken in the house,
Dialogue: 0,1:24:49.77,1:24:53.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have one child, you know who did it.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:55.21,1:24:57.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, you don't have to go through
Dialogue: 0,1:24:57.28,1:24:59.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating child){\i0} ''l-l-l...''
Dialogue: 0,1:25:01.02,1:25:03.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know the child did it.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:05.02,1:25:07.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, people with one child\Ndo not have to go through,
Dialogue: 0,1:25:08.06,1:25:11.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Will you stop touching me?''
Dialogue: 0,1:25:11.23,1:25:13.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lf you got one child\Nand the child's doing that,
Dialogue: 0,1:25:13.66,1:25:16.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then you got to take it away, you know.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:29.14,1:25:34.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now the same thing\Nhappens every night.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:35.15,1:25:37.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have five children.\NThey sit in the center.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:37.79,1:25:40.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife is at this end, l'm at this end.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:40.52,1:25:42.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And our children enjoy their dinner
Dialogue: 0,1:25:42.99,1:25:47.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because my wife allows them to\Nlisten to their music. So you get:
Dialogue: 0,1:25:47.70,1:25:49.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates bass guitar){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:25:50.03,1:25:52.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the children eat and they:
Dialogue: 0,1:26:07.35,1:26:10.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l don't look at 'em, l just keep...
Dialogue: 0,1:26:17.33,1:26:19.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, my wife looks the situation over
Dialogue: 0,1:26:19.56,1:26:25.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she can tell when the children\Nare not going to eat any more.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:25.47,1:26:29.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, she can tell. They've\Nfooled around long enough.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:29.87,1:26:32.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''All right, now, you've\Nfooled around long enough.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:32.61,1:26:36.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody get up from the table.''\NMy wife says this every night.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:36.38,1:26:41.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Everybody get up\Nfrom the table, go upstairs,
Dialogue: 0,1:26:41.75,1:26:45.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''take off all your clothes,
Dialogue: 0,1:26:45.29,1:26:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''get into the shower,
Dialogue: 0,1:26:48.02,1:26:51.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,please turn on the water...''
Dialogue: 0,1:26:51.19,1:26:54.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to tell them to do that
Dialogue: 0,1:26:54.66,1:26:58.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because if you don't,\Nthey'll just wander around the tub.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:03.94,1:27:06.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then get out and get in the bed.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:08.08,1:27:11.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Please use soap.''
Dialogue: 0,1:27:12.05,1:27:14.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's mostly for my son.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:14.78,1:27:18.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Rinse yourselves off, dry yourselves off,
Dialogue: 0,1:27:18.35,1:27:22.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''put on clean pajamas, get into the bed
Dialogue: 0,1:27:22.49,1:27:24.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and go to sleep.''
Dialogue: 0,1:27:24.56,1:27:30.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, if these brain-damaged\Nchildren would do that,
Dialogue: 0,1:27:30.63,1:27:33.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there would be no beatings.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:34.57,1:27:39.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there's going to be a beating tonight.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:41.14,1:27:43.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the children get up to go upstairs
Dialogue: 0,1:27:43.78,1:27:48.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and l kiss them goodnight\Nand l try to warn them:
Dialogue: 0,1:27:48.18,1:27:53.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Please, do what your mother says
Dialogue: 0,1:27:53.19,1:27:56.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or somebody's gonna get it tonight.''
Dialogue: 0,1:27:56.59,1:28:00.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the children kiss me\Nand they pat me on my head
Dialogue: 0,1:28:00.63,1:28:04.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they smile and look at me\Nas if to say, ''Dear man,
Dialogue: 0,1:28:04.40,1:28:07.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''thank you for your kindness
Dialogue: 0,1:28:07.14,1:28:11.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''and your wonderful attitude\Nabout this whole situation,
Dialogue: 0,1:28:11.27,1:28:15.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''but you don't understand.\NWe cannot sleep through the night
Dialogue: 0,1:28:15.61,1:28:19.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unless we've had a good beating.''
Dialogue: 0,1:28:22.15,1:28:25.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so they go upstairs\Nand l can tell they're gonna get it
Dialogue: 0,1:28:25.52,1:28:28.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause they've started already\Nbefore they even get upstairs.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:28.39,1:28:31.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Will you stop touching me!\NAnd you're touching me,
Dialogue: 0,1:28:31.13,1:28:32.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you stop, you're touching me.''
Dialogue: 0,1:28:33.06,1:28:36.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(piercing voice){\i0} ''Mine, mine, mine!''
Dialogue: 0,1:28:36.43,1:28:38.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now they get upstairs\Nand all you hear is:
Dialogue: 0,1:28:38.77,1:28:41.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates sound of footsteps){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:28:41.87,1:28:44.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now my wife talks to the ceiling:
Dialogue: 0,1:28:53.78,1:28:56.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''All right, up there!
Dialogue: 0,1:28:57.72,1:29:01.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l know you don't\Nwant me to come up there.
Dialogue: 0,1:29:03.89,1:29:07.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l don't hear any water running.''
Dialogue: 0,1:29:07.63,1:29:11.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now downstairs comes\Nour seven-year-old.
Dialogue: 0,1:29:12.84,1:29:14.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The informer.
Dialogue: 0,1:29:21.11,1:29:24.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is the same child\Nthat my wife sends with me
Dialogue: 0,1:29:24.68,1:29:27.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whenever l'm going out somewhere.
Dialogue: 0,1:29:32.12,1:29:35.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The informer's favorite words\Nare ''guess what.''
Dialogue: 0,1:29:37.63,1:29:40.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating child){\i0} ''Um, um, um, Mom?
Dialogue: 0,1:29:40.63,1:29:43.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Um, um, um, Mom, um, um, um,
Dialogue: 0,1:29:43.93,1:29:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Ennis is upstairs in trouble
Dialogue: 0,1:29:46.84,1:29:50.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''and so l want to, um,\Nget into the shower
Dialogue: 0,1:29:50.54,1:29:55.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''and so then, um, he took, um, the towel
Dialogue: 0,1:29:55.18,1:29:59.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and popped me on my behind.''
Dialogue: 0,1:30:00.45,1:30:04.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Go upstairs and tell Ennis\Nl said not to do that anymore.''
Dialogue: 0,1:30:04.59,1:30:09.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating child){\i0} ''But, Mom, l already\Ntold him so then he took the towel,
Dialogue: 0,1:30:09.19,1:30:12.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''so, guess what?
Dialogue: 0,1:30:12.13,1:30:16.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Um, Ennis popped me on\Nthe behind with the towel so l said,
Dialogue: 0,1:30:16.16,1:30:21.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'l'm gonna tell Mom on you.'''
Dialogue: 0,1:30:22.94,1:30:27.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Go upstairs and tell him l said not to\Ndo it again and take your clothes off.''
Dialogue: 0,1:30:27.14,1:30:31.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating child){\i0} ''OK, but l know he's\Njust gonna pop me in the behind again
Dialogue: 0,1:30:31.11,1:30:34.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause he's always popping people.''
Dialogue: 0,1:30:34.18,1:30:37.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Four minutes later,\Ndownstairs comes the four-year-old.
Dialogue: 0,1:30:37.79,1:30:40.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She is naked and wet.
Dialogue: 0,1:30:42.16,1:30:46.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shampoo in her hair has run into her\Neye. She is running in place and yelling.
Dialogue: 0,1:30:47.10,1:30:49.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates yelling){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:30:49.80,1:30:52.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Walking with her, also naked and wet
Dialogue: 0,1:30:52.53,1:30:55.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a smile on her face, is the informer.
Dialogue: 0,1:30:56.70,1:30:59.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating child){\i0} ''See, Mom, l told you.
Dialogue: 0,1:30:59.54,1:31:02.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Ennis took and poured water\Non the baby and the shampoo
Dialogue: 0,1:31:02.28,1:31:06.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,run into her eye\Nand she may be blinded for life.''
Dialogue: 0,1:31:07.85,1:31:11.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now my son, who is 1 1 years old,\Ncomes downstairs.
Dialogue: 0,1:31:11.32,1:31:14.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He has on his pajamas.\NThey are stuck to his body
Dialogue: 0,1:31:15.02,1:31:17.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because he forgot to dry himself.
Dialogue: 0,1:31:19.66,1:31:22.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating son){\i0} ''l'm trying to\Ntake a shower upstairs
Dialogue: 0,1:31:22.16,1:31:24.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''and so then they come in the shower.\Nl told them l'm too grown
Dialogue: 0,1:31:24.60,1:31:29.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for them to be showering with me--''\NThe baby turns and kicks him.
Dialogue: 0,1:31:29.10,1:31:31.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The seven-year-old punches him.\N{\i1}(imitates punching){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:31:31.44,1:31:34.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He punches the baby,\Nshoves the seven-year-old.
Dialogue: 0,1:31:35.04,1:31:38.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're fighting. {\i1}(imitates bickering){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:31:38.61,1:31:42.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife turns around, grabs a yardstick.
Dialogue: 0,1:31:43.92,1:31:47.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She holds it like a samurai warrior.
Dialogue: 0,1:31:48.49,1:31:53.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She then makes an announcement\Nthat the beatings will now begin
Dialogue: 0,1:31:55.23,1:31:58.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by saying, ''l have had
Dialogue: 0,1:31:58.97,1:32:01.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,enough of this.''
Dialogue: 0,1:32:02.07,1:32:07.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now these three brain-damaged people\Nhave the nerve to look surprised.
Dialogue: 0,1:32:11.38,1:32:14.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My wife is... {\i1}(imitates flying yardstick){\i0}\NChildren run everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,1:32:14.92,1:32:18.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now my job is, l am the goalie.
Dialogue: 0,1:32:20.19,1:32:23.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The children come at me,\Nl kick 'em back into play.
Dialogue: 0,1:32:27.66,1:32:32.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now the beatings are over,\Nnot because l see my wife,
Dialogue: 0,1:32:32.30,1:32:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but because l hear all of upstairs going:
Dialogue: 0,1:32:34.57,1:32:36.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates sobbing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:32:40.44,1:32:42.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now here's the funny part:
Dialogue: 0,1:32:44.08,1:32:47.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my wife comes downstairs\Nwith the broken stick,
Dialogue: 0,1:32:47.22,1:32:49.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,throws it on the table,
Dialogue: 0,1:32:49.88,1:32:54.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sits down and begins to talk out loud to
Dialogue: 0,1:32:55.06,1:32:57.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nobody.
Dialogue: 0,1:32:59.16,1:33:02.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Gonna tell me that you're\Nnot going to do something
Dialogue: 0,1:33:02.13,1:33:06.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''when l tell you to do something.\Nl mean, you move when l say move.
Dialogue: 0,1:33:07.64,1:33:10.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Think l carried you\Nin my body for nine months
Dialogue: 0,1:33:10.97,1:33:13.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''so you can roll your eyes at me?
Dialogue: 0,1:33:13.68,1:33:15.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l'll roll that little head of yours
Dialogue: 0,1:33:15.74,1:33:20.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''down on the floor. You don't\Nknow who you're fooling with.
Dialogue: 0,1:33:20.18,1:33:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l'll beat you until\Nyou can't grow anymore.''
Dialogue: 0,1:33:33.96,1:33:37.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So funny.\NMy wife and l didn't ask for this.
Dialogue: 0,1:33:38.83,1:33:42.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We just asked for some children\Nwe could send to college.
Dialogue: 0,1:33:47.58,1:33:52.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother and father come over\Nto the house quite often.
Dialogue: 0,1:33:53.15,1:33:55.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're grandparents now.
Dialogue: 0,1:33:56.88,1:33:59.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Funny. They're funny people.
Dialogue: 0,1:34:00.09,1:34:03.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l've never seen such a\Nturnaround in all my life.
Dialogue: 0,1:34:05.89,1:34:10.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My father came over\Nto the house, sat down,
Dialogue: 0,1:34:10.77,1:34:15.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,went into his pocket\Nand pulled out a handful of money.
Dialogue: 0,1:34:15.54,1:34:19.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He began to pass it out\Nto the children, you know.
Dialogue: 0,1:34:19.27,1:34:22.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He made the announcement:\N''Now let's see if Granddad has
Dialogue: 0,1:34:22.51,1:34:25.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,any money for\Nthese wonderful children.''
Dialogue: 0,1:34:25.61,1:34:29.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, five children came from\Neverywhere. {\i1}(whooshing sound){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:34:30.75,1:34:35.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, the priorities are there.\N''Money for the children.''
Dialogue: 0,1:34:35.96,1:34:39.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They heard that,\Nunderstood it and responded.
Dialogue: 0,1:34:41.06,1:34:43.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anything else is\N{\i1}(irritably){\i0} ''money for the children.''
Dialogue: 0,1:34:43.83,1:34:48.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to say it like that. {\i1}(irritably){\i0}\N''Come here, come here, come here.''
Dialogue: 0,1:34:48.27,1:34:51.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(in normal voice){\i0} So they can hear.
Dialogue: 0,1:34:51.84,1:34:57.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My father began to pass\Nthis money out and l thought,
Dialogue: 0,1:34:57.78,1:35:03.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''This is the same man\Nwho, when l was his child,
Dialogue: 0,1:35:03.48,1:35:06.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l would ask him for 50 cents,
Dialogue: 0,1:35:06.49,1:35:09.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this man would tell me his life story.''
Dialogue: 0,1:35:13.80,1:35:17.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my father never told a happy story.
Dialogue: 0,1:35:18.07,1:35:21.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For 50 cents\Nthere never was happiness.
Dialogue: 0,1:35:21.40,1:35:27.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The man ate dirt\Ntill he was 30 years old.
Dialogue: 0,1:35:28.01,1:35:31.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all there was, was dirt.
Dialogue: 0,1:35:31.11,1:35:35.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he was thankful to eat that dirt.\NThat's the part l couldn't understand.
Dialogue: 0,1:35:35.92,1:35:38.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No matter how much he suffered,\Nhe'd always say,
Dialogue: 0,1:35:38.42,1:35:41.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''And l was thankful to get it!''
Dialogue: 0,1:35:42.46,1:35:46.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My father walked to school,
Dialogue: 0,1:35:46.83,1:35:49.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,4:00 every morning,
Dialogue: 0,1:35:49.70,1:35:52.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with no shoes on,
Dialogue: 0,1:35:52.57,1:35:54.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,uphill,
Dialogue: 0,1:35:54.90,1:35:57.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,both ways,
Dialogue: 0,1:35:58.77,1:36:03.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in five feet of snow, and he was thankful.
Dialogue: 0,1:36:07.45,1:36:10.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l asked my father to give me\Na dollar for the school picnic.
Dialogue: 0,1:36:10.75,1:36:15.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He told me how he killed a grizzly bear\Nwith his loose-leaf notebook.
Dialogue: 0,1:36:19.16,1:36:21.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now he's giving money away.
Dialogue: 0,1:36:22.80,1:36:24.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother kisses every child.
Dialogue: 0,1:36:24.87,1:36:28.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Just come here and kiss your\Ngrandmommy.'' {\i1}(imitates kissing){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:36:28.14,1:36:32.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Grandmommy just love you to death.''\NMy children think that my mother's
Dialogue: 0,1:36:32.17,1:36:34.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the most wonderful person\Non the face of this earth.
Dialogue: 0,1:36:34.71,1:36:40.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And l keep telling my children, ''That's\Nnot the same woman l grew up with.
Dialogue: 0,1:36:40.18,1:36:44.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're looking at an old person\Nwho's trying to get into heaven now.''
Dialogue: 0,1:36:54.13,1:36:58.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, my mother, now a grandmother,\Nsame woman, when l was her child,
Dialogue: 0,1:36:58.53,1:37:02.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could not stand my room. The woman\Nwould come look at my room and say,
Dialogue: 0,1:37:02.77,1:37:07.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Would you look at this filth?'' Now,\Nl've already been in the room five hours.
Dialogue: 0,1:37:07.91,1:37:10.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She wants me to look at it.
Dialogue: 0,1:37:10.31,1:37:12.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating mother){\i0} ''l said 'look at it!'''
Dialogue: 0,1:37:15.88,1:37:19.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother was an authority on pigsties.
Dialogue: 0,1:37:20.46,1:37:24.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''This is the worst-looking pigsty\Nl have ever seen in my life!
Dialogue: 0,1:37:25.79,1:37:28.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''And l want it cleaned up right now.
Dialogue: 0,1:37:28.83,1:37:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How anyone can live in\Nthis filth is beyond me.''
Dialogue: 0,1:37:33.07,1:37:35.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l love it when they give you\N''another think coming.''
Dialogue: 0,1:37:35.84,1:37:39.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''lf you think that l was put\Non this earth to be your slave,
Dialogue: 0,1:37:40.04,1:37:43.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've got another think coming.''
Dialogue: 0,1:37:47.85,1:37:50.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And mothers are always\Nmore interested in
Dialogue: 0,1:37:50.42,1:37:53.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the condition of your underwear\Nthan your body
Dialogue: 0,1:37:53.39,1:37:56.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you're ever in an accident.
Dialogue: 0,1:37:56.56,1:37:58.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they tell you that.\N''l hope for my sake,
Dialogue: 0,1:37:58.79,1:38:03.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you're ever in an accident,\Nyou have on clean underwear.''
Dialogue: 0,1:38:03.36,1:38:06.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, l thought that's what\Nan accident was.
Dialogue: 0,1:38:09.14,1:38:11.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look, you're driving a truck,
Dialogue: 0,1:38:12.07,1:38:14.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,here comes another truck gonna hit you.
Dialogue: 0,1:38:14.68,1:38:20.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, whether you hit the truck or not,\Nyou're going to have soiled underwear,
Dialogue: 0,1:38:22.22,1:38:25.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because first you say it, then you do it.
Dialogue: 0,1:38:28.32,1:38:31.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now here comes your mother\Nto the hospital.
Dialogue: 0,1:38:31.66,1:38:35.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating mother){\i0} ''Did he\Nhave on clean underwear?''
Dialogue: 0,1:38:35.43,1:38:39.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitating hospital worker){\i0} ''Yes, we\Nfound it in the glove compartment.''
Dialogue: 0,1:38:46.58,1:38:50.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l love it when they get so angry\Nthey can't remember your name.
Dialogue: 0,1:38:50.64,1:38:55.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''You come here, uh, Roy, uh, Roquefort,\Nuh, Rutabaga, what is your name, boy?
Dialogue: 0,1:38:55.78,1:39:00.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''And don't lie to me 'cause you live here\Nand l'll find out who you are.
Dialogue: 0,1:39:01.06,1:39:03.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take a stick and knock your brains out.''
Dialogue: 0,1:39:03.82,1:39:06.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l always wanted to\Nget some calves' brains,
Dialogue: 0,1:39:06.80,1:39:08.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,keep 'em in my hand.
Dialogue: 0,1:39:08.90,1:39:14.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother'd hit me in the head,\Nl'd throw 'em on the floor.
Dialogue: 0,1:39:14.64,1:39:18.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But knowing my mother, it wouldn't\Nwork. She'd say, ''Put your brains
Dialogue: 0,1:39:18.54,1:39:22.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''back in your head. Don't you let\Nyour brains fall out of your head.
Dialogue: 0,1:39:22.58,1:39:26.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you lost your mind?''\NAnd that's another thing:
Dialogue: 0,1:39:26.48,1:39:30.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they ask you a question, you try\Nand answer, they tell you to shut up!
Dialogue: 0,1:39:30.85,1:39:35.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Day and night, night and day,\Nwork my fingers to the bone, for what?''
Dialogue: 0,1:39:35.42,1:39:37.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l don't--'' ''Shut up!''
Dialogue: 0,1:39:38.39,1:39:42.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''And when l ask you a question,\Nyou keep your trap shut!
Dialogue: 0,1:39:42.46,1:39:48.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Think l'm talking\Nto hear myself talk? Answer me!
Dialogue: 0,1:39:50.60,1:39:53.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''You make me sick!
Dialogue: 0,1:39:53.31,1:39:55.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''l'm just sick of this and l'm sick of you.
Dialogue: 0,1:39:56.18,1:39:58.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''So sick l don't know\Nwhat to do with myself.
Dialogue: 0,1:39:58.78,1:40:00.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now l am just sick and tired.''
Dialogue: 0,1:40:00.85,1:40:05.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''And tired'' always followed ''sick.''\NWorst beating l ever got in my life,
Dialogue: 0,1:40:05.35,1:40:09.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my mother said, ''l am just sick--''\Nl said, ''And tired.''
Dialogue: 0,1:40:09.96,1:40:13.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l don't remember anything after that.
Dialogue: 0,1:40:15.50,1:40:18.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, you see, fathers\Nare altogether different.
Dialogue: 0,1:40:18.77,1:40:22.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l'm not saying they're better.\Nl'm saying they're different.
Dialogue: 0,1:40:23.17,1:40:26.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, my father established our\Nrelationship when l was seven years old.
Dialogue: 0,1:40:26.98,1:40:31.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He looked at me, he said, ''l brought\Nyou into this world. l'll take you out.
Dialogue: 0,1:40:31.41,1:40:35.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it don't make no difference to me.\Nl'll make another one look just like you.''
Dialogue: 0,1:40:36.55,1:40:39.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And because of my father,\Nbetween the age of seven through 1 5,
Dialogue: 0,1:40:39.52,1:40:42.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l thought my name was Jesus Christ.
Dialogue: 0,1:40:43.52,1:40:46.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''Jesus Christ!''
Dialogue: 0,1:40:49.10,1:40:53.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my brother Russell\Nthought his name was Dammit.
Dialogue: 0,1:40:53.30,1:40:55.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Dammit, will you stop all that noise?!''
Dialogue: 0,1:40:55.84,1:40:58.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Jesus Christ, sit down!''
Dialogue: 0,1:41:01.91,1:41:04.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So one day l'm out playing in the rain.
Dialogue: 0,1:41:04.41,1:41:07.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My father said, ''Dammit,\Nwill you get in here!''
Dialogue: 0,1:41:07.15,1:41:10.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,l said, ''Dad, l'm Jesus Christ.''
Dialogue: 0,1:41:18.99,1:41:21.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you see, fathers\Nare more fun than mothers
Dialogue: 0,1:41:21.80,1:41:27.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because fathers are the only people in\Nthe house who are allowed to have gas.
Dialogue: 0,1:41:28.80,1:41:33.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they don't care either. They just\Nsit right there and {\i1}(imitates farting){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:41:36.74,1:41:40.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you always know when they're\Nfinished 'cause they say, ''Oh, boy.''
Dialogue: 0,1:41:41.35,1:41:45.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My father would do it\Nand blame it on invisible animals.
Dialogue: 0,1:41:45.79,1:41:49.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(imitates elephant's trumpeting){\i0} ''You\Nsee that elephant run under there?''
Dialogue: 0,1:41:49.82,1:41:53.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my brother was\Ndumb enough to look for it.
Dialogue: 0,1:41:53.70,1:41:56.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now here comes my mother.\N''All right, dinner-- Oh, Lord,
Dialogue: 0,1:41:56.76,1:41:59.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what happened in here?''
Dialogue: 0,1:41:59.23,1:42:03.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, ''Mom, there's an\Nelephant under Dad's chair.''
Dialogue: 0,1:42:03.14,1:42:04.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Did you see it?''
Dialogue: 0,1:42:04.30,1:42:07.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''No, but it lifted Dad up about two feet.''
Dialogue: 0,1:42:09.84,1:42:12.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know my father's favorite game?
Dialogue: 0,1:42:12.28,1:42:15.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,''Come here and pull my finger.''
Dialogue: 0,1:42:20.96,1:42:23.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you for coming.\NTake care of yourselves.
Dialogue: 0,1:42:23.69,1:42:25.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good night. Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,1:42:25.86,1:42:27.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Thank you. Thank you.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:42:27.93,1:42:31.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(d intro to ''Just the Slew Of Us''{\i0}\N{\i1}by Bill Cosby){\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:42:50.58,1:42:52.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}(girl) Daddy, can we go{\i0}\N{\i1}to the school dance?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:42:52.95,1:42:56.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}( Cosby) What? Well,{\i0}\N{\i1}what did your mother say?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:42:56.42,1:42:59.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Well, tell her{\i0}\N{\i1}don't bother me with that.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:42:59.89,1:43:04.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Now take your sister's clothes off{\i0}\N{\i1}and don't wear 'em anymore.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:43:04.67,1:43:06.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Yes, I know{\i0}-- {\i1}What?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:43:06.13,1:43:09.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Now what do you want?{\i0}\N{\i1}Where's your mother?{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:43:09.44,1:43:12.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Well, don't come to me with that{\i0}\N{\i1}'cause I'm busy doing things.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:43:12.17,1:43:16.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}And get the dog out of here.{\i0}\N{\i1}The dog does not belong...{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:43:16.58,1:43:19.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Who took my socks?{\i0}\N{\i1}Did you take my soc{\i0}--
Dialogue: 0,1:43:19.45,1:43:22.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}I don't care what they're wearing{\i0}\N{\i1}these days, take the socks off.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:43:22.45,1:43:25.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}And you take off my shirt, too.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:43:25.62,1:43:31.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}I've never seen a seven-year-old boy{\i0}\N{\i1}wear a size 1 3 shoe.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:43:37.16,1:43:39.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}d Just the slew of us{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:43:40.03,1:43:44.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}d We can make it,{\i0}\N{\i1}just the slew of us{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,1:43:45.00,1:43:48.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player