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Pandora picks Aaliyah
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and this song takes me back
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to what now seems like youth
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into Saturn return
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and you
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and that crappy old car radio
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with the broken cassette
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and all that washboard
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and all that open space
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and all that dust
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kicking up into our skin
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into that tiny mountain cabin
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with the candles burning hot
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we would fuck
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like the earth was opening
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and then primp for the bar
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in the flickering light
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while the radio crackled and hissed pop songs
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we drove steep dirt roads
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into the night
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you kept a baseball bat behind your seat
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you held my hips while I danced
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this song takes me back
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to this need-heavy
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old as the hills
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butch femme lust
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revenge
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and desire
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and that old truck
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that broke your arm
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you kept a rag stuffed in the hole where the gas cap should've been
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you had to hit the starter with a metal pipe
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to get it to turn over
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god, I loved watching you pop that hood
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climb in there
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and beat that engine
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it made me wanna turn you over
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and take you back
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you pulled femme shine from my stone
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like brilliant choya flowers from Santa Fe sun
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like prayer under my breath
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I still ask for your forgiveness
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for my own anger
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made by breaking
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drove our screeching
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how much I've learned from us
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how much I've changed
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how together we were
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fume and flame
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combustion
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but we also climbed into the woods
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and sat in wild silence
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we watched spiders spin webs
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and we laughed at birdsong
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but you, like Aaliyah, are gone now
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you're just fuming memories
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and flaming spirit
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kickin' up dust once in a while
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when music takes me unawares
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and turns me over
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and takes me back
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like Saturn
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returning
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to you.
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[applause]