WEBVTT

00:00:01.256 --> 00:00:03.468
Twenty years ago,

00:00:03.468 --> 00:00:09.408
my family introduced a system
called "Friday democracy meetings."

00:00:09.874 --> 00:00:15.433
Every Friday at 7pm, my family
came together for an official meeting

00:00:15.433 --> 00:00:18.417
to discuss the current family affairs.

00:00:18.417 --> 00:00:23.557
These meetings were facilitated
by one of my parents,

00:00:23.557 --> 00:00:25.715
and we even had a notetaker.

NOTE Paragraph

00:00:25.990 --> 00:00:27.908
These meetings had two rules.

00:00:27.908 --> 00:00:31.184
First, you are allowed
to speak open and freely.

00:00:31.184 --> 00:00:33.880
Us kids were allowed
to criticize our parents

00:00:33.880 --> 00:00:37.193
without that being considered
disrespectful or rude.

00:00:37.193 --> 00:00:39.931
Second rule was the Chatham House rule,

00:00:39.931 --> 00:00:43.705
meaning whatever is said in the meeting
stays in the meeting.

NOTE Paragraph

00:00:44.912 --> 00:00:47.497
The topics which were discussed
in these meetings

00:00:47.497 --> 00:00:49.919
varied from one week to another.

00:00:49.919 --> 00:00:53.458
One week we'll talk about
what food we wanted to eat,

00:00:53.458 --> 00:00:56.015
what time us kids should go to bed,

00:00:56.015 --> 00:00:58.707
and how to improve things as a family,

00:00:58.707 --> 00:01:03.294
while another meeting discussed
pretty much events that happened at school

00:01:03.294 --> 00:01:06.676
and how to solve
disputes between siblings,

00:01:06.676 --> 00:01:08.825
by which I mean real fights.

00:01:09.464 --> 00:01:13.389
At the end of each meeting,
we will reach decisions and agreements

00:01:13.389 --> 00:01:17.086
that will last at least
until the next meeting.

NOTE Paragraph

00:01:17.086 --> 00:01:22.013
So you could say
I was raised as a politician.

00:01:22.013 --> 00:01:25.357
By the age of six or seven,
I mastered politics.

00:01:25.357 --> 00:01:30.038
I was negotiating, compromising,

00:01:30.038 --> 00:01:33.279
building alliances
with other political actors.

00:01:33.279 --> 00:01:35.226
(Laughter)

00:01:35.226 --> 00:01:39.555
And I even once tried to jeopardize
the political process.

NOTE Paragraph

00:01:41.357 --> 00:01:46.685
These meetings sound very peaceful,
civil and democratic, right?

00:01:46.685 --> 00:01:48.758
But that was not always the case.

00:01:48.758 --> 00:01:53.400
Because of this open, free space
to talk, discuss and criticize,

00:01:53.400 --> 00:01:56.427
things sometimes got really heated.

NOTE Paragraph

00:01:56.729 --> 00:01:59.670
One meeting went really bad for me.

00:01:59.670 --> 00:02:01.646
I was about 10 years old at that time,

00:02:01.646 --> 00:02:03.964
and I'd done something
really horrible at school,

00:02:03.964 --> 00:02:06.524
which I'm not going to share today,

00:02:06.524 --> 00:02:10.986
but my brother decided
to bring it up in the meeting.

00:02:10.986 --> 00:02:12.773
I could not defend myself,

00:02:12.773 --> 00:02:17.274
so I decided to withdraw from the meeting
and boycott the whole system.

00:02:17.654 --> 00:02:21.152
I literally wrote an official letter
and handed it to my dad

00:02:21.152 --> 00:02:23.259
announcing that I am boycotting.

00:02:23.259 --> 00:02:28.249
I thought that if I stopped
attending these meetings anymore,

00:02:28.249 --> 00:02:30.266
the system will collapse,

00:02:30.266 --> 00:02:34.704
but my family continued with the meetings

00:02:34.704 --> 00:02:38.377
and they often
made decisions that I disliked

00:02:38.377 --> 00:02:42.369
but I could not challenge these decisions
because I was not attending the meetings

00:02:42.369 --> 00:02:45.026
and thus had no right to go against it.

NOTE Paragraph

00:02:45.781 --> 00:02:49.978
Ironically, when I turned
about 13 years old,

00:02:49.978 --> 00:02:52.869
I ended up attending
one of these meetings again

00:02:52.869 --> 00:02:55.990
after I boycotted them for a long time,

00:02:55.990 --> 00:03:00.571
because there was an issue
that was affecting me only

00:03:00.571 --> 00:03:04.480
and no other family member
was bringing it up.

00:03:05.016 --> 00:03:06.864
The problem was

00:03:06.864 --> 00:03:09.904
that after each dinner,

00:03:09.904 --> 00:03:13.552
I was always the only one
who was asked to wash the dishes

00:03:13.552 --> 00:03:16.745
while my brothers didn't
have to do anything about it.

00:03:17.243 --> 00:03:21.834
I felt this was unjust,
unfair and discriminatory

00:03:21.834 --> 00:03:24.746
so I wanted to discuss it in the meeting.

00:03:24.746 --> 00:03:30.451
As you know, the idea that it's a woman
or a girl's role to do household work

00:03:30.451 --> 00:03:34.667
is a rule that has been carried out
by many societies for so long,

00:03:34.667 --> 00:03:38.833
so in order for a 13-year old me
to challenge it, I needed a platform.

NOTE Paragraph

00:03:39.495 --> 00:03:42.315
In the meeting, my brothers argued

00:03:42.315 --> 00:03:45.873
that none of the other boys we know
are washing the dishes,

00:03:45.873 --> 00:03:48.257
so why our family should be any different?

00:03:48.257 --> 00:03:53.074
But my parents agreed with me and decided
that my brothers should assist me.

00:03:53.074 --> 00:03:56.830
However, they could not force them,
so the problem continued.

NOTE Paragraph

00:03:56.830 --> 00:04:01.748
Seeing no solution, I decided
to attend another meeting

00:04:01.748 --> 00:04:05.898
and propose a new system
that would be fair to everyone.

00:04:06.189 --> 00:04:08.988
So I suggested instead of one person

00:04:08.988 --> 00:04:12.444
washing all the dishes
used by all the family members,

00:04:12.444 --> 00:04:16.466
each family member
should wash their own dishes,

00:04:16.841 --> 00:04:19.073
and as a gesture of good faith,

00:04:19.073 --> 00:04:21.758
I said I'll wash the pots as well.

00:04:22.008 --> 00:04:25.008
This way, my brothers
could no longer argue

00:04:25.008 --> 00:04:27.077
that it's not within their responsibility

00:04:27.077 --> 00:04:31.147
as boys or men to wash the dishes
and clean after the family,

00:04:31.147 --> 00:04:35.757
because the system I proposed
was about every member of the family

00:04:35.757 --> 00:04:39.944
cleaning after themselves
and taking care of themselves.

NOTE Paragraph

00:04:39.944 --> 00:04:42.161
Everyone agreed to my proposal,

00:04:42.161 --> 00:04:46.155
and for years that was our
washing the dishes system.

NOTE Paragraph

00:04:47.404 --> 00:04:52.051
What I just shared with you
is a family story,

00:04:52.051 --> 00:04:54.129
but it's pure politics.

00:04:54.700 --> 00:04:58.670
Every part of politics
includes decision-making,

00:04:58.670 --> 00:05:01.529
and ideally the process of decision-making

00:05:01.529 --> 00:05:04.208
should include people
from different backgrounds,

00:05:04.208 --> 00:05:06.864
interests, opinions, gender,

00:05:06.864 --> 00:05:11.345
beliefs, race, ethnicity, age, and so on.

00:05:11.509 --> 00:05:14.678
And they should all have
an equal opportunity to contribute

00:05:14.678 --> 00:05:17.133
to the decision-making process
and influence the decisions

00:05:17.133 --> 00:05:22.111
that will affect their lives
directly or indirectly.

00:05:22.942 --> 00:05:27.616
As such, I find it difficult to understand
when I hear young people saying,

00:05:27.616 --> 00:05:33.115
"I'm too young to engage in politics
or to even hold a political opinion."

00:05:33.865 --> 00:05:36.289
Similarly, when I hear some woman saying,

00:05:36.289 --> 00:05:40.241
"Politics is a dirty world
I don't want to engage with,"

00:05:40.241 --> 00:05:45.033
I am worried that the idea
of politics and political engagement

00:05:45.033 --> 00:05:48.909
has become so polarized
in many parts of the world

00:05:48.909 --> 00:05:53.022
that ordinary people feel in order
for them to participate in politics,

00:05:53.022 --> 00:05:55.429
they need to be outspoken activists,

00:05:55.429 --> 00:05:58.035
and that is not true.

00:05:58.035 --> 00:06:03.811
I want to ask these young people,
women and ordinary people in general,

00:06:03.811 --> 00:06:09.889
can you really afford not to be interested
or not participate in politics?

NOTE Paragraph

00:06:10.372 --> 00:06:12.535
Politics is not only activism.

00:06:12.535 --> 00:06:14.240
It's awareness.

00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:16.748
It's keeping ourselves informed.
It's caring for the facts.

00:06:16.748 --> 00:06:19.178
When it's possible, it's casting a vote.

00:06:19.178 --> 00:06:24.389
Politics is the tool through which
we structure ourselves

00:06:24.389 --> 00:06:25.557
as groups and societies.

00:06:25.557 --> 00:06:27.262
Politics governs every aspect of life,

00:06:27.262 --> 00:06:29.383
and by not participating in it,

00:06:29.383 --> 00:06:33.965
you're literally allowing other people
to decide on what you can eat,

00:06:33.965 --> 00:06:34.755
where,

00:06:34.755 --> 00:06:36.880
if you can have access to health care,

00:06:36.880 --> 00:06:38.204
free education,

00:06:38.204 --> 00:06:40.256
how much tax you pay,

00:06:40.256 --> 00:06:41.713
when you can retire,

00:06:41.713 --> 00:06:43.234
what is your pension.

00:06:43.574 --> 00:06:47.392
Other people are also deciding
on whether your race and ethnicity

00:06:47.392 --> 00:06:49.745
is enough to consider you a criminal,

00:06:49.745 --> 00:06:52.623
or if your religion and nationality
is enough to put you on a terrorist list.

00:06:52.623 --> 00:06:58.351
And if you still think you are a strong,
independent human being

00:06:58.351 --> 00:07:00.754
unaffected by politics,

00:07:00.754 --> 00:07:02.755
then think twice.

NOTE Paragraph

00:07:03.863 --> 00:07:07.429
I am speaking to you
as a young woman from Libya,

00:07:07.429 --> 00:07:10.217
a country that is
in the middle of a civil war.

00:07:10.217 --> 00:07:13.744
After more than 40 years
of an authoritarian rule,

00:07:13.744 --> 00:07:16.537
it's not a place
where political engagement

00:07:16.537 --> 00:07:19.308
by women and young people
is possible, nor encouraged.

00:07:19.308 --> 00:07:23.495
Almost all political dialogues
that took place in the past few years,

00:07:23.495 --> 00:07:25.792
even those gathered by foreign powers,

00:07:25.792 --> 00:07:28.976
has been with only
middle-aged men in the room.

00:07:29.364 --> 00:07:33.536
But in places with a broken
political system like Libya,

00:07:33.536 --> 00:07:38.391
or in seemingly functioning places,
including international organizations,

00:07:38.391 --> 00:07:42.540
the systems we have nowadays
for political decision-making

00:07:42.540 --> 00:07:45.707
is not from the people for the people,

00:07:45.707 --> 00:07:49.736
but they have been established
by the few for the few,

00:07:49.736 --> 00:07:55.958
and these few have been historically
almost exclusively men

00:07:55.958 --> 00:07:59.238
and they've produced laws, policies,

00:07:59.238 --> 00:08:03.891
mechanisms for political participation
that is based on the opinions,

00:08:03.891 --> 00:08:06.758
beliefs, world views, dreams,

00:08:06.758 --> 00:08:09.577
aspirations of this one group of people

00:08:09.577 --> 00:08:12.482
while everyone else was kept out.

00:08:12.864 --> 00:08:16.962
After all, we've all heard
some version of this sentence:

00:08:16.962 --> 00:08:18.127
what does a woman,

00:08:18.127 --> 00:08:21.352
let along a young person who is brown,
understand about politics?

NOTE Paragraph

00:08:21.352 --> 00:08:23.422
When you are young,

00:08:23.742 --> 00:08:27.182
and in many parts of the world the women,

00:08:27.182 --> 00:08:32.753
you often hear experienced politicians
say "but you lack political experience."

00:08:32.753 --> 00:08:34.632
And when I hear that,

00:08:34.632 --> 00:08:37.714
I wonder what sort of experience
are they referring to?

00:08:37.714 --> 00:08:41.203
The experience of corrupted
political systems?

00:08:41.203 --> 00:08:44.027
Or of waging wars?

00:08:44.027 --> 00:08:45.911
Or are they referring about the experience

00:08:45.911 --> 00:08:48.557
of putting the economic profits
before those of the environment?

00:08:48.557 --> 00:08:51.897
Because if this is political experience,

00:08:51.897 --> 00:08:53.244
then yes

00:08:53.244 --> 00:08:57.088
(Applause)

00:09:03.426 --> 00:09:05.832
we as women and young people
have no political experience at all.

NOTE Paragraph

00:09:05.832 --> 00:09:15.466
Now, politicians might not be
the only ones to blame,

00:09:15.466 --> 00:09:21.081
because ordinary people
and many too young people as well

00:09:21.081 --> 00:09:23.392
don't care about politics.

00:09:23.392 --> 00:09:25.903
And even those who care,

00:09:25.903 --> 00:09:28.121
they don't know how to participate.

NOTE Paragraph

00:09:28.121 --> 00:09:31.158
This must change, and here is my proposal.

00:09:31.452 --> 00:09:34.469
We need to teach people at an early age

00:09:34.469 --> 00:09:38.038
about decision-making
and how to be part of it.

00:09:38.038 --> 00:09:41.640
Every family is its own
mini-political system

00:09:41.640 --> 00:09:44.026
that is usually not democratic,

00:09:44.026 --> 00:09:46.175
because parents make decisions
that affect all members of the family

00:09:46.175 --> 00:09:51.458
while the kids have very little to say.

00:09:51.621 --> 00:09:55.319
Similarly, politicians make decisions
that affect the whole nation

00:09:55.319 --> 00:09:58.269
while the people have
very little to say in them.

00:09:58.584 --> 00:10:00.765
We need to change this,

00:10:00.765 --> 00:10:04.077
and in order to achieve
this change systematically,

00:10:04.077 --> 00:10:06.110
we need to teach people

00:10:06.110 --> 00:10:09.552
that political, national
and global affairs

00:10:09.552 --> 00:10:11.749
are as relevant to them

00:10:11.749 --> 00:10:14.924
as personal and family affairs.

NOTE Paragraph

00:10:14.924 --> 00:10:18.170
So if we want to achieve this,

00:10:18.170 --> 00:10:20.033
my proposal and advice is,

00:10:20.033 --> 00:10:23.485
try out the family democracy
meeting system,

00:10:23.485 --> 00:10:27.041
because that will enable your kids
to exercise their agency

00:10:27.041 --> 00:10:30.441
in decision-making from a very early age.

NOTE Paragraph

00:10:30.441 --> 00:10:33.720
Politics is about having conversations,

00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:38.020
including difficult conversations
that lead to decisions,

00:10:38.020 --> 00:10:41.844
and in order to have a conversation,
you need to participate,

00:10:41.844 --> 00:10:45.768
not sign off like I did and then
learn the lesson the hard way

00:10:45.768 --> 00:10:47.859
and have to go back again.

00:10:47.859 --> 00:10:51.203
If you include your kids
in family conversations,

00:10:51.203 --> 00:10:52.168
they will grow up

00:10:52.168 --> 00:10:54.780
and know how to participate
in political conversations.

00:10:54.780 --> 00:10:58.254
And, most importantly, most importantly,

00:10:58.254 --> 00:11:00.276
they will help others engage.

NOTE Paragraph

00:11:00.276 --> 00:11:01.764
Thank you.

NOTE Paragraph

00:11:01.764 --> 00:11:07.176
(Applause)