[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.65,0:00:07.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi, everyone.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.93,0:00:10.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This talk is about communication.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.60,0:00:13.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first thing I'm going to tell you
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.76,0:00:16.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that I stutter.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.36,0:00:24.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've stuttered since I was 3 years old,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.35,0:00:28.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,around this age. I know, I'm adorable.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.12,0:00:32.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's okay. You can tell me. [Laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.23,0:00:37.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stuttering has shaped how I communicate
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.78,0:00:43.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since I was that person right there.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.28,0:00:57.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I began stuttering when I was 3.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.94,0:01:05.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was talking to my parents about it
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.22,0:01:09.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they said they weren't that concerned
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.41,0:01:17.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because many kids stutter at that age and
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.72,0:01:26.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they grow out of it when they're 5 or 6.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.50,0:01:30.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had cousins who stuttered, my brother,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.32,0:01:41.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my parents; they all grew out of theirs
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.08,0:01:46.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by the time they were around 17.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.32,0:01:51.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People thought, it's a thing
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.58,0:01:52.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is happening right now,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.94,0:01:59.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it'll go away on its own
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.04,0:02:08.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that will be the end of that.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.21,0:02:11.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I'm 32, and it's still here.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.30,0:02:15.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess it's just here to stay.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.33,0:02:24.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those who stutter develop coping tools.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.03,0:02:38.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did... So many things that I did
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.78,0:02:40.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that were kind of odd
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.20,0:02:44.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were because of my stuttering.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.41,0:02:47.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would try to conceal it
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.52,0:02:57.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by saying things... Sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.29,0:03:10.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would try to stay away from situations
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.36,0:03:22.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where I knew that I'd have to talk
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.01,0:03:26.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I was so terrified of stuttering.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.64,0:03:33.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd change words because when you stutter,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.43,0:03:41.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you are keenly aware of the words
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.41,0:03:45.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that are going to give you some trouble.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.60,0:03:50.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Before saying the word, I'd quickly
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.16,0:03:53.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think about a different word to say
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.79,0:04:04.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I wouldn't stutter.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.54,0:04:15.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I came to know that stuttering and
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.67,0:04:23.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the ways I was coping were taking over
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.57,0:04:30.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,both my personal and professional life
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.80,0:04:39.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I decided to try to face this fear
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.22,0:04:43.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by pursuing small opportunities to speak
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.75,0:04:47.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in front of people.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.04,0:04:48.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It know it sounds insane
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.39,0:04:56.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I'm the type of person who,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.91,0:04:59.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I'm afraid to swim, I'm going to jump
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.20,0:05:01.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the deep end and see what happens.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.59,0:05:05.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hopefully, I won't drown. [Laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.06,0:05:18.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I began pursuing public speaking,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.89,0:05:24.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the views that I had had of communication
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.45,0:05:30.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,drastically changed.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.24,0:05:36.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Communication is supposed to be
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.12,0:05:40.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an act of incredible empathy.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.21,0:05:47.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The problem is that it definitely isn't.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.68,0:05:52.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To talk about communication,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.07,0:05:56.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have to talk about conversations.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.88,0:06:05.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The way we approach conversations is bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.98,0:06:18.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's you, and you come up with
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.90,0:06:24.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this thing that you want to tell people.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.62,0:06:29.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have an idea. That's you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.16,0:06:34.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the thing you want to tell people
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.56,0:06:40.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you get pumped about this idea.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.42,0:06:57.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't want to brag, but you think that
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.63,0:07:05.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this thing could have legs.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.99,0:07:18.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're pretty excited about
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.59,0:07:21.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what you want to share.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.51,0:07:27.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You think about the idea,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.92,0:07:35.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the words you want to use,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.19,0:07:47.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about how you want others to feel,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.90,0:07:53.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about how you want to feel as
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.45,0:08:05.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're explaining the idea.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.75,0:08:14.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You say it, you're excited, and
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.83,0:08:16.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you expect them to be "wow,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.91,0:08:18.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was the best idea
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.84,0:08:22.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I think I will ever hear in my life",
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.66,0:08:26.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they don't act like that.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.09,0:08:27.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're like, "Okay, great.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.90,0:08:31.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have to go to lunch now."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.15,0:08:36.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're confused as to why this person
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.13,0:08:45.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't as excited as you about this idea
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.48,0:08:49.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you think is so great.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.29,0:08:55.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The problem is you don't care about them.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.69,0:09:01.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't want to have
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.74,0:09:07.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a two-way conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.36,0:09:11.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You just want them to love
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.13,0:09:15.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your idea the way that Kanye loves Kanye.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.02,0:09:16.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.79,0:09:20.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This self-focused approach
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.44,0:09:26.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to communication is a breeding ground for
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.67,0:09:30.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lackluster conversations and it can even
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.86,0:09:33.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cause problems on teams.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.16,0:09:43.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What do you need to do,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.42,0:09:46.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how do you fix the problem?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.62,0:09:49.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You need to think about the other person.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.37,0:09:57.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You need to be empathetic.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.36,0:10:13.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The reason why is because empathy
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.28,0:10:18.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fuels connection, and if this is true,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.32,0:10:22.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then empathetic communication is going to
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.02,0:10:25.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,drive collaboration.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.99,0:10:35.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When building teams or products,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.61,0:10:38.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of the most important things
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.89,0:10:41.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that has to be positive
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.75,0:10:45.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the way you collaborate
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.72,0:10:50.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a collective.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.54,0:10:55.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This presents a problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.68,0:11:04.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In 2016, the way we collaborate
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.71,0:11:09.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is almost exclusively via
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.86,0:11:14.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,glowing screens, software, and text;
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.55,0:11:20.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is fine, there are benefits
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.25,0:11:26.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to communicating in this way.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.41,0:11:32.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Teams have said that being able to talk
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.31,0:11:36.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to each other via Slack and Twitter
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.51,0:11:39.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,helps sharing.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.50,0:11:42.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It helps people feel connected
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.00,0:11:46.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to build common ground.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.67,0:11:53.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The problem there is that,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.56,0:11:59.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you are communicating exclusively
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.18,0:12:13.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,via text,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.53,0:12:20.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the empathy that you must have
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.87,0:12:29.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to connect is oftentimes lost.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.79,0:12:38.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Technology is extremely helpful
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.98,0:12:43.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it can't replace the social aspect
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.11,0:12:48.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of face-to-face communication.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.15,0:12:50.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here is another truth.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.45,0:12:57.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Failures of communication can't just be
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.86,0:13:00.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,automated away.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.54,0:13:03.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to confront things
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.09,0:13:06.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,face-to-face.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.52,0:13:11.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you take away the technology,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.22,0:13:17.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cellphones, computers, software,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.62,0:13:34.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then what do you have left?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.57,0:13:38.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have people.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:40.97,0:13:45.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a second problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.93,0:13:49.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People hate talking to each other
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.66,0:13:51.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because talking is hard,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:51.99,0:13:56.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conversations are difficult, and
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.95,0:14:01.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,collaboration is extremely hard.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.37,0:14:06.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's why collaboration does fail,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.58,0:14:11.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's hard to talk to people sometimes.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.55,0:14:19.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's figure out why collaboration fails.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.42,0:14:24.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The biggest reasons are that people
Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.64,0:14:33.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are afraid of being wrong and
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.69,0:14:37.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,concerned they aren't going to be able
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.62,0:14:48.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to communicate their thoughts and
Dialogue: 0,0:14:48.60,0:14:52.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,opinions in a clear way.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:58.48,0:15:01.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The fear of being wrong
Dialogue: 0,0:15:01.51,0:15:05.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the fear of being judged.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.72,0:15:15.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't tell you the times when I've had
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.79,0:15:20.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an idea and wanted to share it,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.97,0:15:32.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I was so consumed with the thought of
Dialogue: 0,0:15:32.12,0:15:39.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being judged,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:39.97,0:15:44.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I just remained silent.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.69,0:16:03.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Being misunderstood happens almost daily.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.55,0:16:14.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are all highly technical people
Dialogue: 0,0:16:14.13,0:16:22.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you work with non-technical people.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:22.80,0:16:27.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Having to explain things can often end up
Dialogue: 0,0:16:27.13,0:16:36.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in frustration and irritation,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:36.82,0:16:43.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so it's just easier not to collaborate.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.15,0:16:49.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So how do we fix this?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.78,0:16:50.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first thing is
Dialogue: 0,0:16:50.93,0:16:55.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you have to speak up,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:55.36,0:16:59.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and encourage the people around you
Dialogue: 0,0:16:59.74,0:17:02.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to do the same
Dialogue: 0,0:17:02.01,0:17:06.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because silence kills collaboration.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:08.33,0:17:17.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hearing what another person has to say
Dialogue: 0,0:17:17.39,0:17:21.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doesn't make your thoughts
Dialogue: 0,0:17:21.63,0:17:27.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and opinions any less valid.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:27.79,0:17:34.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All it does is enhance conversations.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:36.71,0:17:39.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next thing that you have to do is
Dialogue: 0,0:17:39.96,0:17:44.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to think about the person
Dialogue: 0,0:17:44.56,0:17:49.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you are talking to.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:49.84,0:17:53.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All of us are on different planes.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:53.27,0:18:00.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intellectually, emotionally. That's okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:00.09,0:18:20.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Speaking to people on their level
Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.32,0:18:27.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doesn't compromise your level.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:34.41,0:18:45.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next thing is to think about the speaker.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:45.99,0:18:50.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you're having a conversation where
Dialogue: 0,0:18:50.14,0:18:57.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the speaker is struggling while talking,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:57.83,0:19:08.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think back to hearing me speak now.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:08.30,0:19:12.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know that it can be incredibly difficult
Dialogue: 0,0:19:12.45,0:19:17.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to completely understand what I'm trying
Dialogue: 0,0:19:17.95,0:19:25.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to say, and that you have to be patient.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:25.79,0:19:30.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to really pay attention.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:34.08,0:19:40.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you discuss your ideas
Dialogue: 0,0:19:40.80,0:19:47.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from a place of great empathy,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:47.63,0:19:59.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you pay attention to
Dialogue: 0,0:19:59.88,0:20:02.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,others' ideas
Dialogue: 0,0:20:02.01,0:20:04.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from that same place,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:04.24,0:20:07.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you are going to create something
Dialogue: 0,0:20:07.33,0:20:14.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is bigger and better than the things
Dialogue: 0,0:20:14.19,0:20:20.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you could have created by yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:22.10,0:20:26.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That takes vulnerability.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:26.44,0:20:39.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the vulnerability to embrace silence
Dialogue: 0,0:20:39.56,0:20:42.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or discuss the things that are going to be
Dialogue: 0,0:20:42.34,0:20:47.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an uncomfortable conversation,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:47.58,0:20:50.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that also takes courage.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:50.48,0:20:55.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It takes the courage to listen to people
Dialogue: 0,0:20:55.71,0:21:01.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they are struggling to communicate
Dialogue: 0,0:21:01.62,0:21:06.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the things that they're trying to say,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:06.71,0:21:12.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the courage to embrace them
Dialogue: 0,0:21:12.78,0:21:19.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being vulnerable to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:19.47,0:21:24.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To be an empathetic communicator,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:24.69,0:21:30.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you need to be courageous,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:30.51,0:21:36.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you need to be vulnerable and patient.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:36.42,0:21:39.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's going to be the foundation
Dialogue: 0,0:21:39.55,0:21:42.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of a positive and effective
Dialogue: 0,0:21:42.25,0:21:44.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,team collaboration.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:44.46,0:21:45.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:45.73,0:21:52.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Applause]
Dialogue: 0,0:21:52.58,0:21:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RYAN: Would you like to take questions?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:54.85,0:21:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SHARON: Sure.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:06.86,0:22:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RYAN: Thank you very much
Dialogue: 0,0:22:08.62,0:22:10.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for sharing your story with us.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:10.52,0:22:12.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RYAN: It's a very powerful talk.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:12.70,0:22:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We do have time for questions as well
Dialogue: 0,0:22:15.56,0:22:17.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if anybody has any questions that
Dialogue: 0,0:22:17.44,0:22:19.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would like to pose...
Dialogue: 0,0:22:24.93,0:22:28.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AUDIENCE MEMBER: I was really struck when
Dialogue: 0,0:22:28.01,0:22:29.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you made the point about how people
Dialogue: 0,0:22:29.70,0:22:31.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are often afraid to speak up
Dialogue: 0,0:22:31.79,0:22:33.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they fear either
Dialogue: 0,0:22:33.92,0:22:35.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of being wrong or they fear
Dialogue: 0,0:22:35.69,0:22:37.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being misunderstood.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:37.58,0:22:38.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I really reflected on that.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:38.97,0:22:40.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started to wonder which one
Dialogue: 0,0:22:40.41,0:22:42.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of those two things I fear most.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:42.05,0:22:44.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm still wondering about that,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:44.74,0:22:47.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but when I was reflecting on that further,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:47.48,0:22:49.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I realized that some of the biggest jerks
Dialogue: 0,0:22:49.48,0:22:51.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I've ever known, we're talking
Dialogue: 0,0:22:51.32,0:22:54.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about real geniuses but quite often jerks,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:54.100,0:22:56.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who do fear being wrong
Dialogue: 0,0:22:56.81,0:22:58.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that don't care at all
Dialogue: 0,0:22:58.82,0:23:00.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about being misunderstood.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:00.64,0:23:02.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oftentimes, they deliberately choose
Dialogue: 0,0:23:02.98,0:23:06.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their words to ensure they can't be wrong
Dialogue: 0,0:23:06.71,0:23:08.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they're ambiguous,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:08.47,0:23:10.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they have many interpretations.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:10.28,0:23:12.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't care about being misunderstood
Dialogue: 0,0:23:12.27,0:23:14.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they leave it up to the audience
Dialogue: 0,0:23:14.44,0:23:15.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to misunderstand them.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:15.51,0:23:17.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe I'm being unfair to those people, or
Dialogue: 0,0:23:17.61,0:23:19.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe they have legitimate reasons for
Dialogue: 0,0:23:19.42,0:23:23.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,behaving that way, but I'm curious about
Dialogue: 0,0:23:23.89,0:23:25.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what you think about this, in terms of
Dialogue: 0,0:23:25.83,0:23:28.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the kind of personality that stops caring
Dialogue: 0,0:23:28.02,0:23:31.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about whether their audience
Dialogue: 0,0:23:31.91,0:23:33.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,misunderstands them or not.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:33.92,0:23:36.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SHARON: I'm sure we call them sociopaths.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:36.77,0:23:38.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Laughter]
Dialogue: 0,0:23:38.28,0:23:41.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They just don't feel, they don't care,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:41.24,0:23:44.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so they can live their lives in a way that
Dialogue: 0,0:23:44.45,0:23:48.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it doesn't matter if I hurt your feelings
Dialogue: 0,0:23:48.57,0:23:52.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I don't have feelings anyway.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:52.98,0:23:58.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In terms of the personality for
Dialogue: 0,0:23:58.97,0:24:02.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people who do have feelings,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:02.07,0:24:09.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think they are a lot more thoughtful,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:09.20,0:24:13.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and think about what they're going to say.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:13.13,0:24:17.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They make sure that the way
Dialogue: 0,0:24:17.85,0:24:23.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they communicate is going to be
Dialogue: 0,0:24:23.05,0:24:27.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,both positive and effective, and
Dialogue: 0,0:24:27.37,0:24:32.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not going to harm others
Dialogue: 0,0:24:32.11,0:24:35.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because that's also really important, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:35.05,0:24:38.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The way we talk about things,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:38.07,0:24:40.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the way that we say things
Dialogue: 0,0:24:40.85,0:24:53.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has an impact on how things are perceived.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:53.30,0:24:59.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that people who care
Dialogue: 0,0:24:59.68,0:25:03.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talk to people in the way that
Dialogue: 0,0:25:03.99,0:25:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they have to be spoken to.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:07.50,0:25:12.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody else who's on the ends,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:12.06,0:25:13.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you probably don't want to be talking
Dialogue: 0,0:25:13.82,0:25:15.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to them anyway, because they don't care
Dialogue: 0,0:25:15.67,0:25:17.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about your feelings.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:17.57,0:25:19.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unless you have to go to work with them.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:19.90,0:25:23.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then... I don't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:29.13,0:25:31.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RYAN: Are there any more questions?
Dialogue: 0,0:25:36.04,0:25:37.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you very much.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:37.23,0:25:38.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SHARON: Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:38.13,0:25:42.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Applause]