WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.489
- What's up, AmazingPhil dusties?
- Hello,
00:00:02.489 --> 00:00:04.264
- We're on Phil's channel.
00:00:04.264 --> 00:00:06.289
- What the hell is going on?
What's going on? Why are we here?
00:00:06.289 --> 00:00:09.892
- Feels like one of those times
where Phil wants to just post something,
00:00:09.892 --> 00:00:12.945
'cause he's, you know, too much time
has passed, he has no ideas.
00:00:12.945 --> 00:00:14.722
- No!
- What's the title of this one gonna be?
00:00:14.722 --> 00:00:16.692
"We're Dead Forever,"
00:00:16.692 --> 00:00:17.732
- We're, we're... (laughs)
- "He's Leaving Me".
00:00:17.732 --> 00:00:19.232
- "We're Leaving-"...
- "I Died Again".
00:00:19.232 --> 00:00:20.872
- "... Trying to Survive Out Here".
- And I don't know what's going on,
00:00:20.872 --> 00:00:23.412
why are we sat here, dressed like
strange 90s cultists?
00:00:23.412 --> 00:00:25.592
- We're in a dressing room
in a basement,
00:00:25.592 --> 00:00:26.340
the phasement,
00:00:26.340 --> 00:00:28.582
and we are rehearsing our tour.
00:00:28.582 --> 00:00:30.502
- AKA, our life for the next six months.
00:00:30.509 --> 00:00:32.309
- We're about to leave...
- On tour.
00:00:32.309 --> 00:00:35.169
- On tour, and I thought we could
do a kind of farewell Q&A.
00:00:35.169 --> 00:00:36.829
- A temporary farewell,
- Yeah.
00:00:36.829 --> 00:00:38.789
- we're not disappearing forever.
- No.
00:00:38.789 --> 00:00:41.839
- Sorry, just post-hiatus, I felt like
we needed to clarify that
00:00:41.839 --> 00:00:43.309
because people still have PTSD
from their dads disappearing
00:00:43.309 --> 00:00:44.649
to get the milk.
- This is not a hiatus.
00:00:44.649 --> 00:00:46.599
We're gonna try and game
on the gaming channel
00:00:46.599 --> 00:00:48.509
and I might poke my nose
in here for a bit,
00:00:48.509 --> 00:00:49.819
- Just to say hi, you know.
- Just to say hi.
00:00:49.819 --> 00:00:51.589
- We're gonna answer
some questions about life,
00:00:51.589 --> 00:00:53.379
and also about tour.
00:00:53.379 --> 00:00:54.299
- Lore.
- Lore!
00:00:54.299 --> 00:00:57.369
- If anyone says "piss," I'm just,
- No, we're just gonna switch it off,
00:00:57.369 --> 00:00:58.839
- I'm leaving, Phil's gonna film this
by himself, answer his own questions.
00:00:58.839 --> 00:01:01.209
- "Did you know about the
Japan conspiracy?"
00:01:01.209 --> 00:01:02.369
What the (bark) does that mean?
00:01:02.369 --> 00:01:04.149
- Is that the one that we
got married in Japan?
00:01:04.149 --> 00:01:07.159
Because we might be
addressing that at the tour.
00:01:07.159 --> 00:01:10.529
- Let's just say, this tour,
- Hide your, hide your hand,
00:01:10.529 --> 00:01:11.429
they might see it.
00:01:11.429 --> 00:01:12.829
They might see what's
on your finger.
00:01:12.829 --> 00:01:14.429
- What, the lack of wedding ring?
00:01:14.429 --> 00:01:15.959
Ok, yeah.
- The phwedding phring.
00:01:15.959 --> 00:01:19.249
- This tour is all about establishing
what the heck this comeback
00:01:19.249 --> 00:01:20.969
new era of Dan and Phil is.
00:01:20.969 --> 00:01:22.369
It's about the future,
- Comeback.
00:01:22.369 --> 00:01:24.332
- and also confronting
a bit of the past.
00:01:24.332 --> 00:01:27.312
So if you're sensitive to
tea being spilled, then
00:01:27.312 --> 00:01:28.792
holy shit, strap yourselves in.
00:01:28.792 --> 00:01:31.252
- This camera's kind of giving you
a cute little anime blush
00:01:31.252 --> 00:01:32.082
and a monocle.
00:01:32.082 --> 00:01:34.332
(Dan laughs)
Look at that little, little blush!
00:01:34.332 --> 00:01:35.852
And a monocle!
00:01:35.852 --> 00:01:37.582
- (Dan, in goofy accent)
Mm, very well, good sir,
00:01:37.582 --> 00:01:39.272
dip, dip, dippity in the morning.
00:01:39.272 --> 00:01:40.882
- "How many pillows do you sleep with?"
00:01:40.882 --> 00:01:41.402
- Two.
00:01:41.402 --> 00:01:43.452
- I've got a problem with the
pillow inventor, right?
00:01:43.452 --> 00:01:45.832
They're either too thin or too thick.
00:01:45.832 --> 00:01:48.522
- Oh my god, that is so right.
- We just need one that is,
00:01:48.522 --> 00:01:50.092
1.5 thickness.
- You need to put your head on a pillow
00:01:50.092 --> 00:01:51.922
and it either goes "bam!"
to the bottom
00:01:51.922 --> 00:01:54.662
or you put it on and it's like
this big and it's like (choking noise).
00:01:54.662 --> 00:01:57.072
- So why aren't we just making
1.5 thickness pillows?
00:01:57.072 --> 00:01:58.842
It would save my neck
and my crack.
00:01:58.842 --> 00:02:00.362
Do you know sometimes
I get a TikTok of a guy that's like,
00:02:00.362 --> 00:02:02.502
"This is the worst way you could
possibly sleep,
00:02:02.502 --> 00:02:04.362
"you're killing yourself."
- And you're like, "oh my God, that's me!"
00:02:04.362 --> 00:02:05.092
- It's just me.
00:02:05.092 --> 00:02:07.442
I'm like, on my front, twisted,
00:02:07.442 --> 00:02:08.762
cuddling a pillow.
00:02:08.762 --> 00:02:10.582
- They're like, "this is terrible
for your spine,
00:02:10.582 --> 00:02:12.162
"it restricts your airflow,
- Good.
00:02:12.162 --> 00:02:13.612
"your intelligence dwindles
every single day,"
00:02:13.612 --> 00:02:16.102
and yeah, I'm too busy
snort mimimiing to listen to you, nerd.
00:02:16.102 --> 00:02:18.512
- Yeah, tell me, Winston,
why is it so comfy?
00:02:18.512 --> 00:02:19.922
If nature doesn't want it?
00:02:19.922 --> 00:02:22.342
- Speaking of comfy,
"boxers, briefs, or boxer-briefs?"
00:02:22.342 --> 00:02:23.882
Fight.
- Oh, there's some here.
00:02:23.882 --> 00:02:26.382
What are these nude-colored
briefs for, Dan?
00:02:26.382 --> 00:02:28.082
- You don't wanna know why
that's part of the show.
00:02:28.082 --> 00:02:30.242
- What have you got these for?
- (Dan singing) You don't wanna know,
00:02:30.242 --> 00:02:31.972
but you are gonna see.
- Ooh.
00:02:31.972 --> 00:02:33.392
I'm in a boxer-brief time.
00:02:33.392 --> 00:02:35.872
Boxers, too flappy,
briefs, too squashy.
00:02:35.872 --> 00:02:36.862
- Too constricting.
- Yeah.
00:02:36.862 --> 00:02:39.082
- "How different does this tour
feel from your others?"
00:02:39.082 --> 00:02:41.442
Yo, I mean, look, a lot of time's passed.
- It's...
00:02:41.442 --> 00:02:42.562
- It ain't 2015 anymore.
00:02:42.562 --> 00:02:44.382
- I haven't been on tour in like 7 years,
00:02:44.382 --> 00:02:45.732
so I'd say it's gayer.
00:02:45.732 --> 00:02:48.022
- How have you and culture
changed since 2018?
00:02:48.022 --> 00:02:49.362
- Yes.
- Yeah, yeah.
00:02:49.362 --> 00:02:51.362
- It represents what our
channel is like now,
00:02:51.362 --> 00:02:52.692
I would say.
- What-, that's a red flag.
00:02:52.692 --> 00:02:54.072
- Yes, I know.
- Don't say that.
00:02:54.072 --> 00:02:56.092
- I don't know.
- It's kind of a best of everything,
00:02:56.092 --> 00:02:57.002
I would say.
- Yeah.
00:02:57.002 --> 00:03:00.412
- It's got like the theatrical
extraness of TATINOF.
00:03:00.412 --> 00:03:02.232
- Yes.
- It has some of the aesthetic
00:03:02.232 --> 00:03:04.582
and interactive fun
of [Interactive] Introverts.
00:03:04.582 --> 00:03:06.382
- Yes.
- And it has some of the tone
00:03:06.382 --> 00:03:08.062
and homosexuality of
[We're All] Doomed,
00:03:08.062 --> 00:03:09.912
which is great, it's like
the ultimate meld.
00:03:09.912 --> 00:03:12.022
- They've all banged and made this baby.
00:03:12.022 --> 00:03:13.822
- Yeah, the Voltron of influence.
- Ooh.
00:03:13.822 --> 00:03:16.622
Also, I feel a lot more confident
in myself,
00:03:16.622 --> 00:03:19.662
so I feel like on stage I'm gonna be
a bit less like a frightened rabbit
00:03:19.662 --> 00:03:21.718
and more like a cougar.
- Yeah. (record scratch)
00:03:21.718 --> 00:03:23.512
- No, not a cougar,
I'm not a, don't worry.
00:03:23.512 --> 00:03:25.862
- Phil's saying that he
is an available MILF,
00:03:25.862 --> 00:03:28.082
and if you're a desperate lesbian
in the audience,
00:03:28.082 --> 00:03:29.692
he's coming for you.
- Oh yeah.
00:03:29.692 --> 00:03:31.412
Hey, we've got one here.
00:03:31.412 --> 00:03:33.852
What is your fave... browser?
00:03:33.852 --> 00:03:35.362
- I can't believe someone
asked that, Phil,
00:03:35.362 --> 00:03:36.162
- I just, I just, it's wild.
- Alright.
00:03:36.162 --> 00:03:40.772
- Oh hello, it's the Browser Fairy here,
to let you know
00:03:40.772 --> 00:03:42.872
that thanks to the sponsor
of today's video,
00:03:42.872 --> 00:03:44.162
Opera Browser,
00:03:44.162 --> 00:03:46.942
you could be having a much more
relaxing browsing experience
00:03:46.942 --> 00:03:48.322
if you just took the plunge
00:03:48.322 --> 00:03:50.462
and cheated on the browser
you're using right now.
00:03:50.462 --> 00:03:51.962
It's like the feeling of
going to your friend's house
00:03:51.962 --> 00:03:53.982
when you think you're gonna be able
to play with one of these
00:03:53.982 --> 00:03:55.262
and they hand you this.
00:03:55.262 --> 00:03:58.402
As a chaotic squirrel-brained person,
I am enjoying the workspace feature
00:03:58.402 --> 00:04:00.702
where you can click between a whole
workspace in an instance.
00:04:00.702 --> 00:04:03.252
I've got my tour one, where I'm
working on my tour stuff,
00:04:03.252 --> 00:04:05.352
and then my other one where I'm
doing my actual work,
00:04:05.352 --> 00:04:06.562
meerkat research.
00:04:06.562 --> 00:04:08.202
There is also a Lucid tool.
00:04:08.202 --> 00:04:10.492
Let's look at this ancient
Phil video, right?
00:04:10.492 --> 00:04:12.192
(Wilhelm scream)
Look how blurry he is.
00:04:12.192 --> 00:04:14.312
Not anymore, look,
and you can slide it.
00:04:14.312 --> 00:04:17.962
I just could spend hours sliding
this Lucid bar back and forth.
00:04:17.962 --> 00:04:20.202
Also handy, is your laptop
dying throughout the day?
00:04:20.202 --> 00:04:21.882
Well, click on battery saver mode.
00:04:21.882 --> 00:04:23.592
It could give you a whole
extra chunk of time.
00:04:23.592 --> 00:04:27.592
So if this is making you feel like,
"ooh, Phil, I might actually
00:04:27.592 --> 00:04:29.662
"head over to the Opera Browser
side of life,"
00:04:29.662 --> 00:04:31.552
you can click the link below.
00:04:31.552 --> 00:04:32.672
Just give it a go,
it's completely free.
00:04:32.672 --> 00:04:35.112
Upgrade your browsing life and
feel like this guy
00:04:35.112 --> 00:04:37.402
every day.
(Otamatone sings)
00:04:37.402 --> 00:04:39.242
We know you are
sluts for Deliveroo,
00:04:39.242 --> 00:04:41.392
but what is the last meal
you actually cooked?
00:04:41.392 --> 00:04:44.062
- Uh, peanut butter on toast.
- No, I made a spaghetti bolognese
00:04:44.062 --> 00:04:45.642
for you.
- You did,
00:04:45.642 --> 00:04:47.592
- You were ill, and I cooked,
- you did.
00:04:47.592 --> 00:04:49.472
- and got an onion.
- And I was like, "this is so lovely,"
00:04:49.472 --> 00:04:50.952
I can't taste.
- It was a waste of time.
00:04:50.952 --> 00:04:53.092
- So this is the one time
you've cooked in like a year,
00:04:53.092 --> 00:04:54.352
- Yeah.
- and you gave it to the guy
00:04:54.352 --> 00:04:55.922
that has a blocked sinus.
- I did.
00:04:55.922 --> 00:04:57.332
- But the thought was there.
- It was.
00:04:57.332 --> 00:04:57.772
- Thanks.
00:04:57.772 --> 00:04:59.722
"Will Phil let anyone
shower on the bus this time?"
00:04:59.722 --> 00:05:00.512
- No.
- No.
00:05:00.512 --> 00:05:02.512
- I've been in deep dives,
- Don't set Phil off on his
00:05:02.512 --> 00:05:04.062
water conspiracy.
- about microbes.
00:05:04.062 --> 00:05:05.812
You can't leave water
anywhere in the sun without...
00:05:05.812 --> 00:05:07.842
- You leave a tap water glass
- ...beasts.
00:05:07.842 --> 00:05:09.552
- out for three minutes, death.
00:05:09.552 --> 00:05:11.082
You shower in the theatre.
- We do.
00:05:11.082 --> 00:05:14.922
- You come to a dank basement,
where like, the chorus line
00:05:14.922 --> 00:05:18.202
of Hamilton have just been scrubbing
their feet for 20 minutes
00:05:18.202 --> 00:05:19.402
- Yes.
- and then you're like "hell yeah".
00:05:19.402 --> 00:05:21.362
- It's communal and there's a lot
of crew to shower.
00:05:21.362 --> 00:05:23.462
- If you think it's a glamorous life
- No.
00:05:23.462 --> 00:05:24.842
- being backstage
in all these theaters,
00:05:24.842 --> 00:05:26.502
they spend all their money
on the front end
00:05:26.502 --> 00:05:28.002
and then their back end
is a decrepit mess,
00:05:28.002 --> 00:05:29.972
am I right, brother?
- It's, it's correct.
00:05:29.972 --> 00:05:33.792
- "I'm using [the] Terrible Influence
Tour as a lesbian dating event."
00:05:33.792 --> 00:05:34.672
Yeah, yeah.
- Do you know what,
00:05:34.672 --> 00:05:37.102
this is probably one of the
best times to find a mate.
00:05:37.102 --> 00:05:39.242
A mate? Why, why-
(Dan laughs)
00:05:39.242 --> 00:05:41.102
- Are you also a cougar?
- Are you a cougar?
00:05:41.102 --> 00:05:44.322
- Are you a young cub on the prowl
looking for a hot MILF-ette?
00:05:44.322 --> 00:05:46.442
- Just say hi to the person
sat next to you,
00:05:46.442 --> 00:05:48.192
get their Instagram,
you never know.
00:05:48.192 --> 00:05:51.372
- What you need to do is go,
"hi, bye, IG?"
00:05:51.372 --> 00:05:55.072
- I me.
- You...
00:05:55.072 --> 00:05:56.802
(Phil claps)
- Or just hold hands.
00:05:56.802 --> 00:05:59.662
- Or go into a little chocolate shop.
- Or like, asexual, let's just binge
00:05:59.662 --> 00:06:01.382
Netlix and talk about how
much we hate people.
00:06:01.382 --> 00:06:05.062
"Explain the tour in 4 words," go.
- Oh! Okay. Erm,
00:06:05.062 --> 00:06:06.712
- "Erm" is one.
- Ahhh!
00:06:06.712 --> 00:06:08.762
- "Ah."
00:06:08.762 --> 00:06:10.992
I can't do it, you do it!
- "I can't."
00:06:10.992 --> 00:06:13.482
"Erm," "AHHH!," "I can't!"
- I can't!
00:06:13.482 --> 00:06:15.112
- Very 2015 Tumblr of you there.
- I know.
00:06:15.112 --> 00:06:17.572
- No fucks given anymore.
- Ooh, nice!
00:06:17.572 --> 00:06:18.972
- New era, who dis?
00:06:18.972 --> 00:06:20.532
New era, blond haira.
00:06:20.532 --> 00:06:24.562
- TVs, twinks, twat,
(Vine boom)
00:06:24.562 --> 00:06:26.882
to...tally amazing.
- Hyphenated?
00:06:26.882 --> 00:06:27.912
- Yes.
- Yeah, thanks, Phil.
00:06:27.912 --> 00:06:29.386
"Can we have a costume preview?"
00:06:29.386 --> 00:06:31.366
Hi Ellie, yeah, here you go.
- (Phil drumming thighs) This is it.
00:06:31.366 --> 00:06:34.226
- We're going for Y2K meets ventilation.
- We are.
00:06:34.226 --> 00:06:37.106
- Ventilation was the priority.
- Do you want to see my legs?
00:06:37.106 --> 00:06:39.876
- Ok, so, Phil said ventilation up top
- I'm wearing...
00:06:39.876 --> 00:06:42.846
- and extreme chafe down there.
- pleather.
00:06:42.846 --> 00:06:44.276
Oh, I'm not gonna wear
these shoes, though.
00:06:44.276 --> 00:06:46.666
- He said, I want clam, I want clasp,
00:06:46.666 --> 00:06:49.286
I want this sticky shit on my calf.
00:06:49.286 --> 00:06:51.706
- I am squeaking in places
I shouldn't be squeaking.
00:06:51.706 --> 00:06:53.666
- Do you like my trash bag trousers?
(Dan slaps thigh)
00:06:53.666 --> 00:06:56.856
- Shiny. Look at that.
- Yeah, the lack of breathability is in.
00:06:56.856 --> 00:06:58.176
- "Is there still tickets in Europe?"
00:06:58.176 --> 00:07:00.196
- Yes! There are tickets in Europe
- Oh yeah.
00:07:00.196 --> 00:07:02.036
- and there's some for 29 euros.
00:07:02.036 --> 00:07:04.396
- I'm not saying that we
don't have friends,
00:07:04.396 --> 00:07:07.086
and the promoter held
30 seats in every show
00:07:07.086 --> 00:07:09.366
as if we were a popstar that
would have dozens of people
00:07:09.366 --> 00:07:10.376
in every country to come see,
- Yeah.
00:07:10.376 --> 00:07:13.206
- and then we had to tell them
we don't have that many friends.
00:07:13.206 --> 00:07:15.316
Antwerp, Copenhagen,
Berlin, Warsaw,
00:07:15.316 --> 00:07:17.586
Frankfurt, Stockholm,
Oslo, Helsinki,
00:07:17.586 --> 00:07:20.946
and also, Amsterdam,
Reykjavik, and Dublin
00:07:20.946 --> 00:07:22.096
on the other side of the year.
- Yes.
00:07:22.096 --> 00:07:24.456
- Come see us, there are tickets
on sale now.
00:07:24.456 --> 00:07:26.796
They are cheap, bring a friend.
- DanAndPhilTour.com
00:07:26.796 --> 00:07:29.496
"Is this tour more (bark)
than the last two?"
00:07:29.496 --> 00:07:31.256
That better be bleeped good.
- Do you know you can't actually
00:07:31.256 --> 00:07:32.996
- Don't be Dan. Don't be Dan.
- say that word on YouTube?
00:07:32.996 --> 00:07:36.016
- No, no, Dan has had some
important videos demonetized.
00:07:36.016 --> 00:07:39.096
- Yes, it will be fundamentally
more (bark) than the last two.
00:07:39.096 --> 00:07:40.886
"Any plans on October 19th
this year?"
00:07:40.886 --> 00:07:43.337
- Oh, where are we gonna be?
We do a show in LA,
00:07:43.337 --> 00:07:44.677
on October 18th,
- Yeah.
00:07:44.677 --> 00:07:47.157
- and then we [drive] into Vegas,
is anything interesting happening?
00:07:47.157 --> 00:07:49.667
- No seriously, imagine it.
(Dan and Phil chuckling)
00:07:49.667 --> 00:07:52.347
- Don't want to get people's hopes up.
- Don't, don't even.
00:07:52.347 --> 00:07:53.697
"How many hours a day
did you rehearse?"
00:07:53.697 --> 00:07:57.277
- It's been, like, 12
for the last 3 months.
00:07:57.277 --> 00:07:59.137
- 9 AM to 10 PM,
has been today.
00:07:59.137 --> 00:08:00.607
- And then thinking
about it in our sleep,
00:08:00.607 --> 00:08:02.537
- Yes.
- and then waking up at 5 AM with anxiety,
00:08:02.537 --> 00:08:04.497
and then doing some more.
- And then doing it all again.
00:08:04.497 --> 00:08:05.747
"Can I go see the tour alone?"
00:08:05.747 --> 00:08:07.117
- 100%.
- Yeah.
00:08:07.117 --> 00:08:09.197
- You are not alone when you
come to the Dan and Phil show
00:08:09.197 --> 00:08:11.267
because it's like being
in the comment section.
00:08:11.267 --> 00:08:13.140
- It is.
- You can turn up by yourself,
00:08:13.140 --> 00:08:14.977
and if you're not a
social kind of person,
00:08:14.977 --> 00:08:17.387
get a drink, sit there, enjoy the show,
- You can just vibe.
00:08:17.387 --> 00:08:20.897
- soak in the vibes. If you want to be
like, hey, who's the person next to you,
00:08:20.897 --> 00:08:24.467
chances are, you have nearly
everything in common,
00:08:24.467 --> 00:08:26.807
and they might be a best friend,
or a future partner.
00:08:26.807 --> 00:08:28.037
- It is strong, we see...
- Just saying.
00:08:28.037 --> 00:08:29.577
I'm not matchmaking you,
but I'm just saying.
00:08:29.577 --> 00:08:31.043
- A lot of people make friends
on our tour.
00:08:31.043 --> 00:08:32.563
"How do you decide what
cities to go to?"
00:08:32.563 --> 00:08:34.213
- Well, as we know from
pain in the past,
00:08:34.213 --> 00:08:36.313
we are at the whim of
venues and promoters.
00:08:36.313 --> 00:08:37.833
- Yeah.
- We need an available theatre
00:08:37.833 --> 00:08:41.003
and some people that go, "Who are
Dan and Phil? Do we trust them?
00:08:41.003 --> 00:08:42.913
"Are they reputable entertainers?"
- Yes.
00:08:42.913 --> 00:08:44.772
- And then, maybe they'll let us in.
00:08:44.772 --> 00:08:47.122
- When we first did a tour, they didn't
want to let us into America.
00:08:47.122 --> 00:08:49.002
(Dan laughs)
- They were like, "Who are these guys?"
00:08:49.002 --> 00:08:51.352
- And the thing is, all these people
have access to our Instagrams,
00:08:51.352 --> 00:08:53.722
so they know exactly how many
followers we have in every city,
00:08:53.722 --> 00:08:57.062
so if you're ever like, "Why won't
Dan and Phil come to Cape Town?,"
00:08:57.062 --> 00:08:58.942
- Yeah.
- it's because they've gone, "You have
00:08:58.942 --> 00:09:01.312
"600 fans, sorry, there's not enough
people for a theatre there."
00:09:01.312 --> 00:09:03.082
- And we are begging these people,
- We would love to.
00:09:03.082 --> 00:09:04.352
- we're like, please let us.
00:09:04.352 --> 00:09:06.902
My Mexico thread has 63 emails,
00:09:06.902 --> 00:09:09.162
which is basically me going,
"Any news? Any news?"
00:09:09.162 --> 00:09:12.742
- So don't worry, we see you,
we love you, we appreciate you,
00:09:12.742 --> 00:09:14.982
we are trying, and one day,
- Yes.
00:09:14.982 --> 00:09:17.212
- one fricking day, one fucking day...
00:09:17.212 --> 00:09:20.292
"How is your colon babe?"
(Dan and Phil laughing)
00:09:20.292 --> 00:09:22.462
- Like you just walk up to someone
and say, "How's your colon, babe?"
00:09:22.462 --> 00:09:25.222
- As we should. Normalize colonoscopies.
- Yes.
00:09:25.222 --> 00:09:26.252
Everything is healed.
00:09:26.252 --> 00:09:28.422
- Can we just take a moment to
peacefully acknowledge the
00:09:28.422 --> 00:09:31.262
epic charity case that is Phil Lester?
- I can't help it.
00:09:31.262 --> 00:09:34.792
- Once upon a time, he had a migraine
problem, then he swallowed superglue,
00:09:34.792 --> 00:09:37.012
and then he was bleeding out of
his ass, and then guess what?
00:09:37.012 --> 00:09:39.002
We are doing something, I should say
- Something.
00:09:39.002 --> 00:09:41.262
- there's some kind of stunt, event,
- A moment.
00:09:41.262 --> 00:09:44.442
- say some kind of satirical,
incredible, theatrical,
00:09:44.442 --> 00:09:48.082
climactic moment of the show,
and we were having the first ever
00:09:48.082 --> 00:09:50.372
rehearsal for it, and Phil...
- I broke a rib.
00:09:50.372 --> 00:09:52.342
(gasp, glass shattering)
Or cracked a rib. I don't know.
00:09:52.342 --> 00:09:55.802
But now I can't breathe or laugh
or move without pain.
00:09:55.802 --> 00:09:58.472
I'm fine.
- No, he's not fine, but he's fine.
00:09:58.472 --> 00:09:59.926
"Dog when???"
- Now.
00:09:59.926 --> 00:10:00.896
- Now.
- Here it is!
00:10:00.896 --> 00:10:03.326
- Imagine. Yeah, let's get a dog
and then leave it in a house
00:10:03.326 --> 00:10:05.236
and then leave the
house until February.
00:10:05.236 --> 00:10:08.446
- No, there's only ever gonna be a dog
if we can dedicate time to the hound.
00:10:08.446 --> 00:10:11.826
You shouldn't get one for Christmas.
So, not now, but sometime.
00:10:11.826 --> 00:10:13.316
"Who is better at
organizing and planning?"
00:10:13.316 --> 00:10:15.816
Dan is a lot better at...
- What do you think?
00:10:15.816 --> 00:10:18.736
- Look, actually, I'm great
at hotels and flights.
00:10:18.736 --> 00:10:21.087
I am the flight and hotel whisperer.
- Phil loves a deal.
00:10:21.087 --> 00:10:22.987
I'd say that's more about the money.
- I like a deal.
00:10:22.987 --> 00:10:24.763
"What the (bark)
was the silicone for?
00:10:24.763 --> 00:10:26.903
Ah.
- Context. Context right now.
00:10:26.903 --> 00:10:28.583
- Well, I went on a very
sketchy website
00:10:28.583 --> 00:10:30.643
and had to buy a whole...
- Oh, don't say that it's sketchy.
00:10:30.643 --> 00:10:34.643
- ...lot of silicone.
- Look, some people are into full-body
00:10:34.643 --> 00:10:37.843
character transformation
silicone-based onesies,
00:10:37.843 --> 00:10:41.713
- Yes. Complete with cow udders.
- And Phil spent several hundred dollars
00:10:41.713 --> 00:10:44.223
on an item,
- I did.
00:10:44.223 --> 00:10:47.863
- for a perfectly unsexual
moment of the show.
00:10:47.863 --> 00:10:49.443
- Which you might see.
- And I think if they weren't
00:10:49.443 --> 00:10:50.923
scared before, they are now.
You made it worse.
00:10:50.923 --> 00:10:53.123
- All I'll say is I felt a bit
claustrophobic putting it on.
00:10:53.123 --> 00:10:56.673
Oh my god. "How to get over a
breakup you can't get closure from?"
00:10:56.673 --> 00:10:59.564
- I think you missed the memo.
- Oh damn, oh, you're in the wrong inbox.
00:10:59.564 --> 00:11:01.654
- You missed the memo for this.
- Are we qualified for that?
00:11:01.654 --> 00:11:04.564
- But I'll just say, they're not
worth it, you can do better.
00:11:04.564 --> 00:11:06.924
- Mm.
- Enjoy that single life.
00:11:06.924 --> 00:11:10.094
There's loads of things you can do.
- Phil said, hoe era.
00:11:10.094 --> 00:11:12.844
- Yeah.
- Things? More like people and things.
00:11:12.844 --> 00:11:15.954
- Rat boy summer
yourself into that pool.
00:11:15.954 --> 00:11:19.464
- I mean, if someone doesn't want
to give you closure, that is closure.
00:11:19.464 --> 00:11:20.644
- That is closure.
- You know what I'm saying?
00:11:20.644 --> 00:11:21.984
- Yeah.
- Sometimes in life,
00:11:21.984 --> 00:11:24.504
answers can't be found, and
that has to be your answer.
00:11:24.504 --> 00:11:26.024
- Mm.
- Write your own story.
00:11:26.024 --> 00:11:29.054
"Did you know that children don't
have kneecaps until they're 6?"
00:11:29.054 --> 00:11:31.624
- I hate this. Are you lying? Am I dumb?
- Oh, I hate that! No!
00:11:31.624 --> 00:11:33.184
- Stop it!
- Are you tricking me? Is this a fact?
00:11:33.184 --> 00:11:37.024
- "Most children's kneecaps turn from
cartilage to bone between 2 and 6."
00:11:37.024 --> 00:11:39.344
- Ugh! No. Get away.
00:11:39.344 --> 00:11:41.494
- "Phil, what F1 knowledge
did Dan force feed you?"
00:11:41.494 --> 00:11:43.604
(Dan laughs)
- Alright. Here we go.
00:11:43.604 --> 00:11:45.984
Quiz me. Quiz me.
- Who are the Ferrari drivers?
00:11:45.984 --> 00:11:49.124
- Charles Leclerc. Leclerc!
- (Frenchly) Leclerc!
00:11:49.124 --> 00:11:50.344
(child in video)
"LeCLERCghugh!"
00:11:50.344 --> 00:11:54.284
- And, uh, Kyle Pe...
- Car...
00:11:54.284 --> 00:11:56.414
- Carlos Sainz.
- Ooh...
00:11:56.414 --> 00:11:58.704
- I got it. I got it.
- Taking up, taking up brain space.
00:11:58.704 --> 00:11:59.744
That's all you need to
know about the sport.
00:11:59.744 --> 00:12:01.924
- I've got more. Valtteri Bottas,
Lewis Hamilton,
00:12:01.924 --> 00:12:03.594
George Russell,
- Yes.
00:12:03.594 --> 00:12:06.894
- Stephen Mulhern. No, that's a magician.
- No.
00:12:06.894 --> 00:12:09.494
Stephen Mulhern in a car?!
00:12:09.494 --> 00:12:10.804
- I don't know what I was thinking.
- Sorry, that is the most
00:12:10.804 --> 00:12:12.336
British reference ever.
- That was very British.
00:12:12.336 --> 00:12:13.716
- What the hell, Phil.
- Yeah, I don't know.
00:12:13.716 --> 00:12:15.266
"Did y'all have a brat summer?"
00:12:15.266 --> 00:12:17.166
- We had a rat summer.
- Rat boy summer.
00:12:17.166 --> 00:12:20.326
We were in... a... holiday place.
I won't say where we were.
00:12:20.326 --> 00:12:22.130
- Phil's trying to dox
our holiday location.
00:12:22.130 --> 00:12:24.800
- We went on holiday,
it was nice. Very ratty.
00:12:24.800 --> 00:12:26.310
- And since then we've been
rehearsing for a tour.
00:12:26.310 --> 00:12:33.250
- (Dan singing) Summeeerrr...
- But to be honest, the true essence
00:12:33.250 --> 00:12:36.390
of a brat summer sounds
horrendous to me. Up at 4 AM...
00:12:36.390 --> 00:12:40.330
- Are you not a 365 party girl?
- No. I'm a half an hour party boy.
00:12:40.330 --> 00:12:42.180
- Terrible Influence when
you're bumping that?
00:12:42.180 --> 00:12:45.080
And you're about to be
so 365 until January,
00:12:45.080 --> 00:12:46.980
- That's fine.
- so you better become it.
00:12:46.980 --> 00:12:48.360
- I'll take it in small doses.
00:12:48.360 --> 00:12:50.820
- "Is Jake Gyllenhaal hot?" What kind
of (barking) question is that?
00:12:50.820 --> 00:12:51.530
Yes.
- Yes.
00:12:51.530 --> 00:12:53.090
He's one of the...
- Who says no? Find me.
00:12:53.090 --> 00:12:54.730
- He's one of the rare people
- Choke.
00:12:54.730 --> 00:12:56.800
- that have been hot at
every stage of his career.
00:12:56.800 --> 00:12:59.460
Donnie Darko through to
whatever the hell he's doing now.
00:12:59.460 --> 00:13:02.880
It's all... hotness. I say it's
one of the-
00:13:02.880 --> 00:13:04.509
- Do you need a moment, Phil?
- Yes.
00:13:04.509 --> 00:13:05.719
- He made you gay?
- He did.
00:13:05.719 --> 00:13:07.049
- Right. Yep.
- Do you know people who are like,
00:13:07.049 --> 00:13:08.579
- Oh, Phil's really going off
on Jake Gyllenhaal.
00:13:08.579 --> 00:13:10.319
- I'm not, I'm just saying-
- No, we're having a moment,
00:13:10.319 --> 00:13:11.509
and that's okay, we just need
to acknowledge that.
00:13:11.509 --> 00:13:15.509
- There are some people that are so
beyond hot, even if I was a straight man
00:13:15.509 --> 00:13:18.019
- You'd have to be like, Jake Gyllenhaal,
- I would be like, yes.
00:13:18.019 --> 00:13:20.009
- he can get it, he can take it,
he can throw it across the room.
00:13:20.009 --> 00:13:23.479
Give me that Gyllen-
- I would wash his sweaty vest.
00:13:23.479 --> 00:13:24.899
- Mm. Ok.
00:13:24.899 --> 00:13:26.073
- "Merch vibes?"
00:13:26.073 --> 00:13:29.302
- You wanted merch vibes, huh?
- Oh, look at this!
00:13:29.302 --> 00:13:31.502
- You like a bit of chrome? Ooh.
- Ooh, look at that.
00:13:31.502 --> 00:13:33.992
- Can I spoil this one? Please?
- Go on then. Do it.
00:13:33.992 --> 00:13:35.992
(Dan and Phil laughing)
00:13:35.992 --> 00:13:38.196
- Already every person on
the crew wants to wear that.
00:13:38.196 --> 00:13:41.166
- Someone's like, I'm gonna
get this for my grandma,
00:13:41.166 --> 00:13:42.736
- They need it.
- and I will make her wear it.
00:13:42.736 --> 00:13:44.106
- We always like to
have one funny thing.
00:13:44.106 --> 00:13:45.306
- Color energy, oh.
- Oh, oh.
00:13:45.306 --> 00:13:47.486
- We do have a kind of
wild update, though,
00:13:47.486 --> 00:13:49.306
- Yes.
- which is, as of yesterday,
00:13:49.306 --> 00:13:53.316
every single VIP ticket for our show
to come to the meet-and-greet
00:13:53.316 --> 00:13:55.086
has completely sold out,
- They're gone,
00:13:55.086 --> 00:13:57.926
we're gonna be meeting so many of you.
- at every single show around the world,
00:13:57.926 --> 00:14:00.046
so thank you.
- Thanks.
00:14:00.046 --> 00:14:02.996
- Tour hasn't even started yet,
that's never happened before.
00:14:02.996 --> 00:14:06.276
There may be a couple venues where
they found some space to add more,
00:14:06.276 --> 00:14:08.576
so do check just in case.
- Look around.
00:14:08.576 --> 00:14:11.176
- But, for most of them,
we wanted to do something
00:14:11.176 --> 00:14:12.886
for all of the people that
already bought tickets,
00:14:12.886 --> 00:14:14.766
and for the people that
may yet be on the fence.
00:14:14.766 --> 00:14:17.241
- Yes, so anyone that's
already bought a ticket
00:14:17.241 --> 00:14:19.051
or anyone that's gets one
in the next month,
00:14:19.051 --> 00:14:22.851
- Anyone who buys any ticket.
- Any kind of ticket. The cheap ones.
00:14:22.851 --> 00:14:26.551
- Two people from every single
show are going to get upgraded
00:14:26.551 --> 00:14:29.291
to the full meet-and-greet. You get
to meet us, you get to have some merch,
00:14:29.291 --> 00:14:31.911
you get to come to the thing early.
The whole shebang.
00:14:31.911 --> 00:14:34.241
- Bang.
- And all you have to do is have a ticket.
00:14:34.241 --> 00:14:36.071
And that is everyone
who's already got one
00:14:36.071 --> 00:14:38.431
and anyone who gets one
in the next month.
00:14:38.431 --> 00:14:41.011
So if you and a friend are like,
oh my god, I found these ones
00:14:41.011 --> 00:14:43.117
that are really really cheap and we
could just like, randomly meet them,
00:14:43.117 --> 00:14:44.723
- Go grab 'em.
- Do it. Do it.
00:14:44.723 --> 00:14:46.173
- But make sure you do it in the next
month because then it runs out.
00:14:46.173 --> 00:14:48.383
- You know how Phil always wins
these competitions and stuff?
00:14:48.383 --> 00:14:50.113
- It could be you.
- It's because he enters them.
00:14:50.113 --> 00:14:53.853
- Yes. And if any of this tour
talk has tickled your pickle,
00:14:53.853 --> 00:14:56.993
make sure to go to DanAndPhilTour.com,
see if we're coming near your town...
00:14:56.993 --> 00:14:59.243
- We're going everywhere.
- If not, travel.
00:14:59.243 --> 00:15:01.323
Get on a train for half an hour.
- Yeah.
00:15:01.323 --> 00:15:03.383
- It's worth it.
- Eight hour road trip with the bestie.
00:15:03.383 --> 00:15:04.653
- It's worth it.
- It's worth it.
00:15:04.653 --> 00:15:07.565
You don't want to be like, oh,
these guys meant so much to me.
00:15:07.565 --> 00:15:09.485
I could've waved at them from
across the room.
00:15:09.485 --> 00:15:11.055
- Now I can't.
- We want to see you.
00:15:11.055 --> 00:15:12.835
- Come and see us. See what
we've been working on.
00:15:12.835 --> 00:15:14.382
We've been working so hard on it,
00:15:14.382 --> 00:15:15.792
and it'd be great if you could.
- I don't think we can even begin
00:15:15.792 --> 00:15:19.284
to explain how hard we've been
working on this show for months.
00:15:19.284 --> 00:15:20.694
- A little word from the other Phil.
00:15:20.694 --> 00:15:23.173
Thanks again to my bros, Opera
Browser, for sponsoring this video.
00:15:23.173 --> 00:15:26.873
If you want to upgrade your
browsing life, make it super satisfying,
00:15:26.873 --> 00:15:29.138
click the link below, get it for free,
00:15:29.138 --> 00:15:31.258
and have a lovely day.
00:15:31.258 --> 00:15:33.318
- Thanks, Phil. Yeah.
- Yeah. Thank you. Great. Do it.
00:15:33.318 --> 00:15:36.348
So, subscribe! Check out the gaming
channel, we'll be posting loads of little
00:15:36.348 --> 00:15:38.908
sneaky tour bits on there.
- More stuff. Go check out our Instagram,
00:15:38.908 --> 00:15:40.788
our Twitters. We're posting
all kinds of sneaks.
00:15:40.788 --> 00:15:42.488
- Yeah. AmazingPhil
might be a bit quiet,
00:15:42.488 --> 00:15:44.348
but I'll poke my nose in.
- He's busy, he'll come say hi
00:15:44.348 --> 00:15:47.088
every now and then.
- Sometimes. Have a lovely day
00:15:47.088 --> 00:15:49.708
and we will see you on stage.
- Thank you for having us.
00:15:49.708 --> 00:15:51.088
- Bye.
- Ciao.