WEBVTT 00:00:03.792 --> 00:00:08.560 It's three o'clock in the morning, and I think my parents really like lesbians. 00:00:08.567 --> 00:00:11.220 So to show my parents how much I love them, 00:00:11.220 --> 00:00:14.908 I've turned my parents vehicle into more than just a vehicle. 00:00:14.918 --> 00:00:18.277 I've turned it into the slut mobile. 00:00:18.277 --> 00:00:24.236 Won't mom and dad be surprised and overwhelmed tomorrow morning when they get up to go to work? 00:00:24.236 --> 00:00:26.696 So I'm hiding inside a box right now, 00:00:26.696 --> 00:00:28.282 in my parents' driveway, 00:00:29.275 --> 00:00:31.936 that normally contains garbage. 00:00:31.936 --> 00:00:37.205 And this box is right beside the car, in the driveway. 00:00:37.698 --> 00:00:40.621 Ok, so it's daylight now, 00:00:40.621 --> 00:00:45.370 and my parents seem to be awake, 'cause the light in the house is on. 00:00:45.370 --> 00:00:47.546 I hope my parents like my gift. 00:00:47.546 --> 00:00:52.288 I hope when they come out of the house they really enjoy the car that I've painted for them. 00:00:52.288 --> 00:00:53.340 Their car. 00:00:59.373 --> 00:01:01.063 Holy Christ! 00:01:01.559 --> 00:01:03.215 You like it dad? 00:01:03.235 --> 00:01:05.608 - Come look at it dad. - Go talk to your mother, I'm going to work. 00:01:05.608 --> 00:01:09.322 - What's the big deal? - Yeah, big deal, that better be off. 00:01:09.322 --> 00:01:14.193 - It's permanent, come look at it. - That's permanent? (...)(heading?) to the police right now. 00:01:14.198 --> 00:01:16.818 - What're you talking about? - Yeah 00:01:16.825 --> 00:01:18.811 - Dad, it's a present. - Yeah, right. 00:01:18.813 --> 00:01:22.581 - It's a present. - Well, it's completely untasteful, and ridiculous. 00:01:22.594 --> 00:01:25.295 - Why? - (inaudible) 00:01:25.303 --> 00:01:28.238 - Where 'you going? - I'm going to work, I'm walking, ... - You're walking? 00:01:28.238 --> 00:01:32.670 - I can't take the car. - Why can't you take the car? 00:01:34.410 --> 00:01:37.458 - What? It's a present for you guys. 00:01:37.464 --> 00:01:41.307 - It's to be nice. - That'd better be washable or something. 00:01:41.995 --> 00:01:43.298 - It's not, it's airbrushed. - (...) Yeah, sure. 00:01:43.686 --> 00:01:45.219 - It costed me four-hundred dollars to get it done. - Yeah, right? 00:01:45.563 --> 00:01:48.978 - It did. It costed me four-hundred dollars to get done. 00:01:48.978 --> 00:01:50.919 - What you mean you're walking to work? 00:01:50.919 --> 00:01:53.231 - You can't walk to work. - Yeah, right. 00:01:53.242 --> 00:01:57.976 - What? What d'you mean "yeah, right?" - Well, how are you gonna show that on television? Stupid! 00:01:58.736 --> 00:02:02.703 - What? Oh, come on, don't walk to work! - (It's) obscene, insanity. - Don't walk to work! 00:02:04.293 --> 00:02:06.951 It's not obscene, it's love. 00:02:06.951 --> 00:02:08.680 Those women are love, dad! 00:02:08.680 --> 00:02:09.764 You like it? 00:02:09.764 --> 00:02:12.654 - Mom! - Noo! 00:02:12.654 --> 00:02:15.266 (You've) being trying to wipe it off? Mom! 00:02:15.266 --> 00:02:16.327 Whoa, mom, what? 00:02:16.327 --> 00:02:17.272 - Come look at it! - No, it's disgusting! 00:02:17.272 --> 00:02:20.733 - It's not disgusting, just let me in, let's talk. 00:02:20.733 --> 00:02:23.746 This is insane. I mean, i worked so hard to make everybody happy. 00:02:23.746 --> 00:02:26.002 I hid in that box all night long. 00:02:26.587 --> 00:02:30.945 My mom has no intention of talking to me on camera about the slutmobile. 00:02:30.945 --> 00:02:35.062 Fortunately, she left a few messages on my answering machine. 00:02:35.062 --> 00:02:37.648 And, well here they are. 00:02:37.648 --> 00:02:42.580 - Next message: - Tom, it's your mother. That you did to our car it's really gross, and disgusting. 00:02:45.580 --> 00:02:49.636 And I'm not impressed. I knew that something was happening. 00:02:49.686 --> 00:02:53.506 It's just another little horrible thing for us to cope with. 00:02:53.506 --> 00:02:58.320 - Call me, as soon as you get this message, I am livid. - Next message: 00:02:58.350 --> 00:03:04.592 Tom, this is your mother. That car ('d) better be back here immediately, and back put to original condition. 00:03:04.592 --> 00:03:07.829 And I don't find it funny, there's nothing funny about it at all. 00:03:07.829 --> 00:03:12.063 It's insulting, once again, you know, it's just, it's not funny. 00:03:12.063 --> 00:03:15.655 It's ruining things that don't belong to you. 00:03:15.655 --> 00:03:21.405 - And it's making me sick, and I'm fed up with that. - Next message: 00:03:21.405 --> 00:03:25.510 Tom, it's eight o'clock in the morning. You've been here, you've gone. 00:03:25.510 --> 00:03:30.722 - I want my car fixed, it's disgusting. - Next message: 00:03:30.722 --> 00:03:33.421 Tom, it's your mother, for the fourth call. 00:03:33.421 --> 00:03:40.349 I want the car taken and returned to its original condition, or your dad and I are going to report this to the police. 00:03:40.349 --> 00:03:43.956 This is ridiculous, I'm not putting up with it. 00:03:43.956 --> 00:03:49.570 You can, you know, be charged with vandalism, or whatever the charge would be. 00:03:49.570 --> 00:03:56.050 But you're not going to ruin my things anymore and leave me in the lurch because I don't have a car to use. 00:03:56.050 --> 00:04:00.572 Now, get over here, and get the car, and repair it, immediately. 00:04:00.572 --> 00:04:03.460 - And I'm not kidding. - End of message. 00:04:03.460 --> 00:04:07.023 - Oh, come on, don't walk to work! - Obscene, insanity. - Don't walk to work! 00:04:07.918 --> 00:04:10.912 It's not obscene, it's love! 00:04:10.912 --> 00:04:12.527 Those women are love, dad! 00:04:12.527 --> 00:04:16.173 Oh, dad can't take the bus to work, I'm gonna take the slut-mobile to the bus stop. 00:04:16.173 --> 00:04:20.816 Wow, there's a lot of people at the bus stop, I hope my dad it's not embarassed by his slut-mobile. 00:04:20.816 --> 00:04:24.247 - Come on, I'll drive you to work. - (inaudible) 00:04:24.247 --> 00:04:27.682 - What? - That thing'd better be washed up (...), I don't know how you got it on there. 00:04:27.682 --> 00:04:30.077 It's permanent. It's a present! 00:04:30.077 --> 00:04:32.910 Dad, don't worry if your neighbors see the slut mobile, 00:04:32.910 --> 00:04:35.030 I mean, it's just your slut mobile. RIght? 00:04:35.030 --> 00:04:37.193 It's just your slut mobile! 00:04:37.193 --> 00:04:45.282 - Ok, first of all, I thought you liked lesbians, and ... - What? 00:04:45.282 --> 00:04:49.017 I thought you liked lesbians, and sluts. 00:04:49.017 --> 00:04:53.721 And so I thought it would be a nice thing to gift you. 00:04:53.721 --> 00:04:58.400 That's all. Whether or not I was funny or not, I thought you liked that kind of thing. 00:04:58.815 --> 00:05:07.324 - Ok? That aside, now I know you don't like lesbians. - I didn't say that. I don't want them on my car! 00:05:07.324 --> 00:05:09.976 - Ok, so you... - End of discussion. 00:05:09.976 --> 00:05:13.546 - So it's not that you have a problem with lesbians then.