And the bathrooms in each of our executive suites
come with a whirlpool tub, radiant heating and a rainfall shower head.
Hmm.
- Hmm. Mmm-hmm. - It's neat!
And if you follow me, I can show you the master bedroom.
And the bidet...
...comes standard?
Uh, yes, you'll find a bidet in all our executive suites.
Uh-huh.
And there is no additional charge for using the, uh… bidet?
No... no per use fee or debit system?
No, madam. Use of the bidet is complimentary.
Very nice. Very nice. Good to know.
Would you like to see the master bedroom?
And the bidet... Is it in good working order...
...the bidet?
I believe so. Yes.
And there is a... a sturdiness to it?
The bidet...
...it can accommodate a fairly heavy carriage?
I think it's a very standard bidet.
Hmmm, I see. I see...
And the water pressure...
Oh, yes... And the water pressure?
In the bidet?
Should it prove... insufficient,
is there a... an adjustment that could be made...
to possibly increase the pressure substantially?
I don't think so... No...
I see...
Our sheets in the bedroom boast a 600 thread count.
And the bidet...
Should it break,
is there a...
...bidet repairman on site?
If there is any problem with the bathroom...
It would be the bidet we are talking about...
We would just call a plumber.
And this plumber, he can handle even the most extreme bidet problems?
He's a very competent plumber.
And should the bidet...
...be damaged beyond repair,
how soon would you be able to replace it with a new bidet?
I really don't know the answer to that.
- Hmm. That's worrisome. - I don't like that.
And should we have a... an unexpected overnight guest,
do you offer a roll-away bidet?
I don't believe that exists.
Huh, 2010... you would think...
You could draw up a plan.
And are there any hidden cameras in the bathroom,
that might record whatever is taking place in or around the bidet?
Perhaps a toilet cam?
No, there are no cameras anywhere in the bathroom.
- Hmm. That's a shame. - That's too bad.
And the nearest hospital... that would be...
St. George Medical Center. It's about three miles east of the hotel.
And the ambulances... they have bidets?
Or would there be a gap between the hotel and the hospital...
bidet-wise?
I doubt the ambulances have bidets;
I also doubt the hospital has a bidet.
And with the doctors at the hospital,
there is an understood confidentiality, correct?
They're seasoned professionals, they've "seen it all", so to speak?
They've had their gag reflexes removed, haven't they?
Ok, you know what? I'm gonna just leave you two alone.
Oh, wait, wait, wait! Before you go,
let us give you a little something for your trouble.
[She hands the boy a soggy dollar bill]
Why is this wet?
I'm not gonna lie to you. [He pulls out another soggy dollar and hands it over]
It involves a bidet.