And the bathrooms in each
of our executive suites

come with a whirlpool tub, 
radiant heating and a rainfall shower head.

Hmm.

- Hmm. Mmm-hmm.
- It's neat!

And if you follow me,
I can show you the master bedroom.

And the bidet...

...comes standard?

Uh, yes, you'll find a bidet
in all our executive suites.

Uh-huh.

And there is no additional 
charge for using the, uh… bidet?

No... no per use fee 
or debit system?

No, madam. 
Use of the bidet is complimentary.

Very nice. Very nice.
Good to know.

Would you like to see 
the master bedroom?

And the bidet...
Is it in good working order...

...the bidet?

I believe so. Yes.

And there is a... 
a sturdiness to it?

The bidet...

...it can accommodate 
a fairly heavy carriage?

I think it's a very standard bidet.

Hmmm, I see. I see...

And the water pressure...

Oh, yes... 
And the water pressure?

In the bidet?

Should it prove... 
insufficient,

is there a... an adjustment 
that could be made...

to possibly increase 
the pressure substantially?

I don't think so... 
No...

I see...

Our sheets in the bedroom 
boast a 600 thread count.

And the bidet...

Should it break,

is there a...

...bidet repairman on site?

If there is any problem 
with the bathroom...

It would be the bidet 
we are talking about...

We would just call a plumber.

And this plumber, he can handle
even the most extreme bidet problems?

He's a very competent plumber.

And should the bidet...

...be damaged beyond repair,

how soon would you be able 
to replace it with a new bidet?

I really don't know 
the answer to that.

- Hmm. That's worrisome.
- I don't like that.

And should we have a... 
an unexpected overnight guest,

do you offer
a roll-away bidet?

I don't believe 
that exists.

Huh, 2010... 
you would think...

You could 
draw up a plan.

And are there any hidden
cameras in the bathroom,

that might record whatever 
is taking place in or around the bidet?

Perhaps
a toilet cam?

No, there are no cameras
anywhere in the bathroom.

- Hmm. That's a shame.
- That's too bad.

And the nearest hospital...
that would be...

St. George Medical Center. 
It's about three miles east of the hotel.

And the ambulances... 
they have bidets?

Or would there be a gap
between the hotel and the hospital...

bidet-wise?

I doubt the ambulances
have bidets;

I also doubt the hospital
has a bidet.

And with the doctors
at the hospital,

there is an understood
confidentiality, correct?

They're seasoned professionals, 
they've "seen it all", so to speak?

They've had their gag reflexes
removed, haven't they?

Ok, you know what? 
I'm gonna just leave you two alone.

Oh, wait, wait, wait! 
Before you go,

let us give you a little 
something for your trouble.

[She hands the boy 
a soggy dollar bill]

Why is this wet?

I'm not gonna lie to you. [He pulls out 
another soggy dollar and hands it over]

It involves a bidet.