WEBVTT 00:00:03.918 --> 00:00:06.228 hey everyone thanks for checking back. 00:00:06.228 --> 00:00:08.471 now this weeks video is something that you have asked 00:00:08.471 --> 00:00:13.716 for alot and it has to do with my borderline personality 00:00:13.716 --> 00:00:16.617 disorder video the BPD video that I put up 00:00:16.617 --> 00:00:19.195 so if you havent watched that, check that out. 00:00:19.195 --> 00:00:24.499 but this is kind of diving deeper into DBT therapy 00:00:24.499 --> 00:00:27.926 Dialectical and Behavioural therapy. 00:00:27.926 --> 00:00:36.441 now DBT therapy is a type of therapy that is used alot for Borderline Personality Disorder patients 00:00:36.441 --> 00:00:40.495 and theres a woman Martia Lineham and I never know if i say her last name right. 00:00:40.495 --> 00:00:53.232 Martia wrote a lot of books about it and created DBT therapy 00:00:53.232 --> 00:00:59.224 and one of the main components of DBT therapy is mindfulnes. 00:00:59.224 --> 00:01:05.108 ok so what is mindfulness? im being mindful right now, that word is used a lot 00:01:05.108 --> 00:01:12.991 but in DBT therapy its very specific and its very detailed. like, way too detailed 00:01:12.991 --> 00:01:18.556 but, today im going to talk to you about kind of the'what' skills of mindfulness 00:01:18.556 --> 00:01:25.061 and mindfulness is broken down into about 6 different skill sets 00:01:25.061 --> 00:01:30.561 and today im just going to talk about 3. so you can see why DBT is a practice. its 00:01:30.561 --> 00:01:36.843 something that you, as a clinician, study, eat, breathe, sleep if thats all you do 00:01:36.843 --> 00:01:43.798 9 til 5 or 9 til 6.30 or whatever your work day is, every day, all day. 00:01:43.798 --> 00:01:48.342 so mindfulness is a way we can help regulate our emotions 00:01:48.342 --> 00:01:54.580 and to that i mean if we're feeling, honestly if we have borderline personality 00:01:54.580 --> 00:01:58.866 disorder we're like i dont know how I feel, i just feel overwhelmed, thats how I feel 00:01:58.866 --> 00:02:04.759 but, if we're feeling a lot of emotions and theyre just building up and waah we feel overwhelmed, 00:02:04.759 --> 00:02:11.438 mindfulness will help bring us back down. and the first thing we want to do is observe. 00:02:11.438 --> 00:02:16.740 and i know that seems really bizarre, but what i mean is, if you start 00:02:16.740 --> 00:02:22.612 feeling anxious, but you dont quite know what it is yet. you just have that sense 00:02:22.612 --> 00:02:27.414 tat somethings building, right. we start to notice. hey my palms are getting sweaty, 00:02:27.414 --> 00:02:33.337 my heart is racing, im breathing faster and my thoughts are going a million miles a minute 00:02:33.337 --> 00:02:39.532 and all this stuff is happening. we need to notice that right. we dont need to control it. 00:02:39.532 --> 00:02:48.346 we dont need to control whats happening. we can control our focus of it but we dont have to control the actual emotion 00:02:48.346 --> 00:02:53.104 does that make sense, we're just watching and we're noticing. 00:02:53.104 --> 00:02:58.165 and i read a couple of articles and people describe it as having almost like 00:02:58.165 --> 00:03:03.485 a teflon mind. teflon being those frying pans that nothing sticks to cos we're not letting 00:03:03.485 --> 00:03:07.372 anything take hold of us, we're not ruminating about being angry, sad,mad 00:03:07.372 --> 00:03:14.118 happy,elated, whatever we feel we're not sticking on it we're just noticing. 00:03:14.118 --> 00:03:19.538 ok? and that even in itself with my clients, thats months of work. 00:03:19.538 --> 00:03:26.800 right, just to observe, but thats something we can do slowly but surely. we just take note 00:03:26.800 --> 00:03:31.108 observe whats happening, when we have those kind of breakdowns where you feel 00:03:31.108 --> 00:03:37.819 like your heads going to explode, notice what that was like, how did it build up. what happened today and yesterday 00:03:37.819 --> 00:03:45.859 and you kind of go back and observe. then, and i made notes because sometimes this gets a little tricky 00:03:45.859 --> 00:03:51.075 so after we've observed then we need to describe the experience. 00:03:51.075 --> 00:03:55.539 so like i was saying after we've looked inside ourselves and noticed our palms were 00:03:55.539 --> 00:03:59.559 sweaty this is happening, then try to put words to it. we dont have to know the emotion yet 00:03:59.559 --> 00:04:03.106 because a lot of times, and for many of you, i know Jess, we've talked a lot and you're 00:04:03.106 --> 00:04:09.236 like, i dont know how im feeling and we have those happy and sad pictures you put up. 00:04:09.236 --> 00:04:18.009 this is the time when you have to put words to it. those words being my heart was racing, i felt this, i felt this. 00:04:18.009 --> 00:04:22.383 it doesnt have to be an emmotional description, how was our body responding? 00:04:22.383 --> 00:04:29.057 ok so try to put words to your experience. now that takes some time aswell, but you can ] 00:04:29.057 --> 00:04:33.624 see how they kind of go hand in hand, how the observe goes hand in hand with the 00:04:33.624 --> 00:04:39.585 describing and putting words to it. so the last portion that im going to talk 00:04:39.585 --> 00:04:45.479 about today is participate, and im reading my notes cos like i said there are 6 parts 00:04:45.479 --> 00:04:55.404 of just this portion. so this is kind of letting yourself act intuitively and participate in life 00:04:55.404 --> 00:05:04.198 so FEEl angry, FEEL sad, FEEL elated, FEEL in love, feel whatever, right 00:05:04.198 --> 00:05:14.138 whatever youre feeling, feel it. come from your wise mind, and we'll talk about that in another video 00:05:14.138 --> 00:05:21.504 stay tuned for wise mind. but come from a place of the observe and the putting words 00:05:21.504 --> 00:05:26.476 to the experience, but still have the experience, you dont need to hold back and not 00:05:26.476 --> 00:05:32.000 allow yourself it and be so controlled we're not controlling our emotions, we're controlling 00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:37.871 how long we allow ourselves to deal with it and ruminate on it. does that make sense? 00:05:37.871 --> 00:05:46.138 the difference between participating and responding to it? thats almost like 00:05:46.138 --> 00:05:52.811 i guess if i was going to give youa good analogy. i get a ticket on my car come out and the parking metre is up 00:05:52.811 --> 00:05:59.415 and i got a ticket and im like son of a hfkshfgashfbakh right, i respond immediately. 00:05:59.415 --> 00:06:05.109 and lets say i see the metre maid and im like, you son of a bitch sfkjanfjn and i just lose 00:06:05.109 --> 00:06:13.052 it, that would be responding. but if im going to participate i would say to myself, 00:06:13.052 --> 00:06:20.136 that really sucks! I dont have 65 bucks thats so frustrating i should have planned better 00:06:20.136 --> 00:06:26.468 and i just allow myself to feel upset, but im not ruminating im not responding 00:06:26.468 --> 00:06:33.433 im not reacting i guess is the best word, im just participating ok? 00:06:33.433 --> 00:06:40.392 so this is gonna be a very long period of time we're going to do many videos on this topic 00:06:40.392 --> 00:06:45.694 because its very haard to comprehend and it takes time and practise. but this week we're 00:06:45.694 --> 00:06:51.304 going to practice mindfulness. so i want you this week to observe. lets just do number 1 00:06:51.304 --> 00:07:06.905 i know we had 3 things we had observe, then we would describe it and put words to it. then 00:07:06.905 --> 00:07:15.085 we would participate, but this week we're just going to observe. so notice how youre feeling in your 00:07:15.085 --> 00:07:22.320 body and whats going on, before you reach that overwhelmed stage. and leave comments below if any of you have done 00:07:22.320 --> 00:07:27.510 DBT therapy i know many of you have and youve had great results. leave your tips and 00:07:27.510 --> 00:07:32.380 tricks and things that have helped and how helpful DBT therapy was and if it wasnt let me know. 00:07:32.380 --> 00:07:37.376 like hey i like THIS kind of therapy better and we can do videos on that too cos thats what we do 00:07:37.376 --> 00:07:43.721 i listen to you you speak to me and i do the videos that people want most, and if you like this video 00:07:43.721 --> 00:07:48.814 give it a thumbs up and let me know, and dont forget to check out my borderline video that i talked about earlier 00:07:48.814 --> 00:07:53.939 and dont forget to subscribe to my channel because like i said i'll be putting out many videos 00:07:53.939 --> 00:07:58.385 on this topic so you want to make sure to stay tuned and catch it, and keep working 00:07:58.385 --> 00:08:02.061 with me towards a healthy mind and a healthy body