[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.14,0:00:01.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Coming out.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.33,0:00:02.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Typically we think of this
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.60,0:00:05.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as being an experience\Nspecific to the queer community.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.20,0:00:07.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we all have things\Nthat we're keeping in our closets.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.90,0:00:10.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It could be something\Nabout our home and family life,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.40,0:00:12.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something about our\Nmental or physical health.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.60,0:00:15.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe you're not allergic\Nto cats, you just don't like them.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.44,0:00:16.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel you on that one.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.63,0:00:18.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whatever it is that you're\Nkeeping in your closet,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.99,0:00:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,inevitably it shapes the way\Nyou navigate the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.46,0:00:23.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that can include your work life.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.20,0:00:25.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So how do we go about\Ndisclosing these important,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.54,0:00:28.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but sometimes difficult to talk about\Naspects of who we are?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.39,0:00:29.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when someone comes out to us,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.99,0:00:32.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what can we bust do to\Nlisten and support them?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.21,0:00:33.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[The Way We Work]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.23,0:00:36.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Made possible\Nwith the support of Dropbox]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.30,0:00:37.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi, my name's Micah.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.53,0:00:38.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it hasn't always been.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.83,0:00:40.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After a year at my current place of work,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.82,0:00:42.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started the process\Nof coming out as trans.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.96,0:00:45.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I sat down\Nwith human resources to talk
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.08,0:00:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about how to reintroduce\Nmyself to everybody,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.94,0:00:49.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,neither of us had answers.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.59,0:00:52.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody at my place of work\Nhad come out as trans before,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.71,0:00:54.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that's what I'm here to offer you.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.59,0:00:55.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Three tips on how to talk
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.89,0:00:58.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about things that are hard to talk about.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.10,0:01:00.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And for those of you\Non the other side of the conversation,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.94,0:01:03.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have some advice for you too,\Non how you can best listen,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.76,0:01:06.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,respond and be an active ally\Nfor your colleague.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.12,0:01:08.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't give you the exact words to say
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.20,0:01:10.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they should be your own.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.24,0:01:12.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After all I don't know\Nwhat you're keeping in your closet.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.99,0:01:14.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But whatever it might be,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.21,0:01:16.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope these tips\Nwill provide you with a framework
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.63,0:01:19.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's going to help you decide\Nexactly what you want to say
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.48,0:01:20.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how you want to say it.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.80,0:01:23.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Know what you want and don't want\Nout of the conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.56,0:01:25.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To know this, ask yourself questions like,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.69,0:01:26.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do I need anything
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.87,0:01:28.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the person\Nthat I'm disclosing this to?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.95,0:01:31.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where do I want the conversation\Nto go from here,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.28,0:01:32.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if anywhere at all?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.46,0:01:33.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And how do I want this person
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.88,0:01:36.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to understand my own relationship\Nwith this aspect of who I am?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.88,0:01:39.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, in my case, I knew\NI wanted people to call me
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.54,0:01:41.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by my new name and pronouns.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.49,0:01:43.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I also didn't want them to avoid me
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.59,0:01:45.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,out of fear of messing them up.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.12,0:01:46.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was going to take time.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.49,0:01:49.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I wanted this to feel\Nlike any other ordinary fact
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.25,0:01:50.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about who I am.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.80,0:01:52.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now we know what we want\Nto communicate.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.88,0:01:54.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's talk about how\Nwe're going to say it.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.96,0:01:56.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By setting the tone.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.22,0:01:58.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're going to want\Nto present the information
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.46,0:02:00.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the same way you want\Npeople to respond to it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.78,0:02:03.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're going to be looking\Nand listening for cues
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.16,0:02:04.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on what the appropriate response is.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.90,0:02:07.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is this something\Nthat you want to be celebrated?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.24,0:02:08.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm trans!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.51,0:02:11.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or do you want to just address it\Nand move on with your life?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.39,0:02:12.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, by the way, I'm trans.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.85,0:02:15.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's no one right way\Nto say it for everybody.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.55,0:02:18.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's most important here\Nis what's right for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.15,0:02:19.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another note,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.34,0:02:21.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're not going to be able\Nto control the way
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.47,0:02:23.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in which everybody responds to this.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.22,0:02:24.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what we do have control over
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.80,0:02:26.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is how they understand\Nour own relationship
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.86,0:02:28.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with this part of who we are.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.32,0:02:30.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now that we know what we want to say
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.21,0:02:31.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how we want to say it,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.48,0:02:33.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where do we want\Nthe conversation to go from here?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.86,0:02:35.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, my advice is to give an action item.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.90,0:02:38.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This will help you keep\Ncontrol of the conversation
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.34,0:02:39.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by giving people direction
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.85,0:02:42.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on what they're supposed\Nto do or say next.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.61,0:02:46.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I knew I wanted this to feel like\Nany other ordinary fact about who I am.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.63,0:02:48.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I decided I was going\Nto use my coming out
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.75,0:02:50.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to solve an ordinary problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.71,0:02:52.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I sent the following email.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.68,0:02:54.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello all, I need your help.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.96,0:02:57.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am in the market for a moisturizer\Nto help with my dry skin.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.91,0:03:00.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm also in the process of out as trans.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.20,0:03:01.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm changing my name to Micah
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.61,0:03:04.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my pronouns are he, him, his.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.15,0:03:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you have any questions\Nabout my change in pronouns
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.96,0:03:08.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or my skincare needs,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.60,0:03:09.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel free to send an email
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.92,0:03:12.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to my updated contact information.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.09,0:03:14.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'd also like to note\Nthat when my skin is dry,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.51,0:03:16.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is not too sensitive.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.30,0:03:18.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're all going to mess up\Nmy name and my pronouns,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.76,0:03:19.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,myself included.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.96,0:03:22.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when this happens,\Ndon't panic or cringe.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.69,0:03:24.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please be kind to yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.04,0:03:26.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as we stumble through\Nthese growing pains together.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.45,0:03:29.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm fortunate and grateful\Nto work in a place
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.11,0:03:31.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where I feel embraced in any form.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.08,0:03:34.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Be it as a transgender man\Nor a person with dry skin
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.54,0:03:36.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or in this case, both.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.09,0:03:39.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I'm going to be honest,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.34,0:03:41.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I haven't made many changes\Nto my skin-care routine
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.77,0:03:42.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since sending this email.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.01,0:03:45.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I will say that I am feeling\Nmuch more comfortable
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.60,0:03:46.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in my own skin.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.79,0:03:49.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's what thanks\Nto responses like these.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.93,0:03:51.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[You have all the love + support, Micah!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.86,0:03:54.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And please know that I\Nhighly rec Clinique products.]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.48,0:03:55.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[You are the best.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.67,0:03:58.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are and will always be one\Nof my favorite people [at work].
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.68,0:04:00.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even if you do have terribly dry skin.]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.59,0:04:01.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Thank you for being you,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.85,0:04:05.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,however much or little you want to talk\Nabout dry skin, genders, bodies etc.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.48,0:04:06.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will be here for you.]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.67,0:04:09.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Thank you for giving us\Npermission to mess up ...]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.72,0:04:11.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you might be wondering,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.12,0:04:13.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I'm the listener in this conversation,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.15,0:04:15.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what can I best do to support my colleague
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.18,0:04:17.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other than maybe referring\Nthem to my dermatologist?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.67,0:04:19.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, for starters, listen
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.64,0:04:21.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with an open heart and an empathetic ear.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.91,0:04:24.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're especially going\Nto want to listen here
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.10,0:04:26.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for this specific language\Nthe person is using
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.26,0:04:28.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to describe themselves\Nand their experience
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.30,0:04:29.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because that's the same language
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.85,0:04:31.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're going to want to use back to them.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.84,0:04:34.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You might be tempted to ask\Nyour coworkers some questions
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.56,0:04:35.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about their identity.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.74,0:04:37.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Before you ask them a question,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.25,0:04:38.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ask yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.46,0:04:40.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can I find the answer to this\Nin a search engine?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.78,0:04:42.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chances are the answer is yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.24,0:04:44.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if the answer is no, ask yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.08,0:04:45.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is this too personal of a question
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.74,0:04:47.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for me to be asking my colleague.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.37,0:04:49.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One question that is okay to ask though,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.31,0:04:51.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is there anything I can do\Nto support you at this time?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.96,0:04:55.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is a note for if you're responding\Nin the moment and in person.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.19,0:04:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if you want to be an active ally,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.98,0:04:58.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the conversation doesn't end here,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.63,0:05:01.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it picks up again with your\Ncolleagues and human resources
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.96,0:05:04.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on how you can make your\Nworkplace more inclusive
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.47,0:05:05.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of this person's identity.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.00,0:05:08.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chances are it's not\Njust going to help them,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.15,0:05:09.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but maybe someone else down the line.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.94,0:05:11.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, in my case,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.12,0:05:13.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it would be adding pronouns\Nto your email signature
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.53,0:05:15.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and asking your coworkers to do the same
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.48,0:05:17.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in order to help\Nnormalize it across the org.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.61,0:05:19.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You could also be talking to HR
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.12,0:05:22.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about having more trans-inclusive\Nhealthcare policies.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.22,0:05:24.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my last piece of advice\Nis for both the listener
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.70,0:05:26.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the leader in the conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.43,0:05:28.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember that they're the same person
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.58,0:05:30.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've always known them to be.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.41,0:05:32.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the weight of stereotypes and stigmas
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.70,0:05:34.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that often keep our closet doors shut.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.80,0:05:37.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're afraid people are now\Ngoing to see us as this thing
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.100,0:05:40.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of seeing this thing\Nas an aspect of who we are,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.00,0:05:42.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of we've always been.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.18,0:05:44.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know that was the case for me too,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.12,0:05:47.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it got easier for me\Nto say, my name is Micah
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.73,0:05:49.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of the way I saw it\Nnot only accepted,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.97,0:05:53.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but enthusiastically embraced\Nby all of my coworkers.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.43,0:05:55.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So whatever it is\Nyou're keeping in your closet,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.01,0:05:57.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope these tips empower you
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.65,0:06:00.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to bring your authentic self\Ninto your workplace
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.22,0:06:03.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and hopefully feel more\Ncomfortable in your own skin.