[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:00.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Coming out.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.92,0:00:02.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Typically we think of this
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.22,0:00:04.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as being an experience specific\Nto the queer community.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.89,0:00:07.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we all have things that\Nwe're keeping in our closets.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.44,0:00:09.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It could be something about\Nour home and family life,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.46,0:00:11.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something about our\Nmental or physical health.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.45,0:00:14.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe you're not allergic to\Ncats you just don't like them.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.64,0:00:15.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel you on that one.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.60,0:00:17.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whatever it is that you're\Nkeeping in your closet,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.65,0:00:20.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,inevitably it shapes the\Nway you navigate the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.06,0:00:21.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that can include your work life.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.47,0:00:24.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So how do we go about\Ndisclosing these important,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.21,0:00:27.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but sometimes difficult to talk\Nabout aspects of who we are.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.21,0:00:28.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when someone comes out to us,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.64,0:00:31.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what can we bust do to\Nlisten and support them?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.86,0:00:37.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi, my name's Micah.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.53,0:00:38.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it hasn't always been.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.83,0:00:40.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After a year at my current place of work,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.59,0:00:42.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started the process\Nof coming out as trans.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.90,0:00:44.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I sat down with human\Nresources to talk about
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.95,0:00:47.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how to reintroduce myself to everybody,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.94,0:00:49.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,neither of us had answers.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.59,0:00:52.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody at my place of work\Nhad come out as trans before,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.71,0:00:54.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that's what I'm here to offer you.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.59,0:00:56.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Three tips on how to talk about
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.44,0:00:58.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things that are hard to talk about.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.10,0:01:00.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And for those of you on the\Nother side of the conversation,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.30,0:01:03.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have some advice for you too,\Non how you can best listen,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.30,0:01:06.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,respond and be an active\Nally for your colleague.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.12,0:01:08.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't give you the exact words to say
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.16,0:01:10.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they should be your own.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.24,0:01:12.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After all I don't know what\Nyou're keeping in your closet.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.75,0:01:14.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But whatever it might be,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.02,0:01:16.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope these tips will\Nprovide you with a framework
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.34,0:01:19.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's going to help you decide\Nexactly what you wanna say
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.03,0:01:20.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how you wanna say it.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.41,0:01:23.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Know what you want and don't\Nwant out of the conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.56,0:01:25.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To know this, ask yourself questions like,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.69,0:01:26.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do I need anything
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.66,0:01:28.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the person that\NI'm disclosing this to?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.60,0:01:30.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where do I want the\Nconversation to go from here,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.72,0:01:31.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if anywhere at all?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.75,0:01:33.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And how do I want this person
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.29,0:01:35.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to understand my own relationship
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.06,0:01:36.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with this aspect of who I am?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.74,0:01:39.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, in my case, I knew I\Nwanted people to call me
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.54,0:01:41.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by my new name and pronouns.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.49,0:01:43.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I also didn't want them to avoid me
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.59,0:01:45.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,out of fear of messing them up.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.01,0:01:46.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was going to take time.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.26,0:01:49.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I wanted this to feel\Nlike any other ordinary fact
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.25,0:01:50.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about who I am.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.80,0:01:52.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now we know what we wanna communicate.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.65,0:01:54.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's talk about how\Nwe're going to say it.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.27,0:01:55.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By setting the tone.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.87,0:01:57.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're going to want to\Npresent the information
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.62,0:02:00.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the same way you want\Npeople to respond to it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.24,0:02:02.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're going to be looking\Nand listening for cues
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.75,0:02:04.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on what the appropriate response is.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.75,0:02:07.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is this something that\Nyou want to be celebrated?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.06,0:02:08.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm trans!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.51,0:02:09.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or do you want to just address it
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.87,0:02:11.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and move on with your life?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.01,0:02:12.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, by the way, I'm trans.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.85,0:02:15.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's no one right way\Nto say it for everybody.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.55,0:02:18.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's most important here\Nis what's right for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.15,0:02:18.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another note,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.98,0:02:20.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're not going to be\Nable to control the way
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.61,0:02:22.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in which everybody responds to this.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.64,0:02:24.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what we do have control over
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.27,0:02:26.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is how they understand\Nour own relationship
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.69,0:02:28.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with this part of who we are.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.00,0:02:30.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now that we know what we wanna say
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.04,0:02:31.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how we wanna say it,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.40,0:02:33.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where do we want the\Nconversation to go from here?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.33,0:02:35.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, my advice is to give an action item.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.89,0:02:38.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This will help you keep\Ncontrol of the conversation
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.19,0:02:39.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by giving people direction
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.91,0:02:42.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on what they're supposed\Nto do or say next.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.63,0:02:44.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I knew I wanted this to feel like
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.01,0:02:46.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,any other ordinary fact about who I am.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.63,0:02:48.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I decided I was going\Nto use my coming out
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.75,0:02:50.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to solve an ordinary problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.67,0:02:52.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I sent the following email.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.64,0:02:54.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello all, I need your help.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.96,0:02:57.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am in the market for moisturizer\Nto help with my dry skin.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.86,0:03:00.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm also in the process of out as trans.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.24,0:03:01.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm changing my name to Micah
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.61,0:03:04.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my pronouns are he, him, his.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.15,0:03:07.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you have any questions\Nabout my change in pronouns
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.00,0:03:08.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or my skincare needs,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.61,0:03:09.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel free to send an email
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.92,0:03:12.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to my updated contact information.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.09,0:03:14.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'd also like to note\Nthat when my skin is dry,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.49,0:03:16.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is not too sensitive.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.35,0:03:18.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're all going to mess up\Nmy name and my pronouns,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.67,0:03:19.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,myself included.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.89,0:03:22.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when this happens,\Ndon't panic or crunch.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.71,0:03:24.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please be kind to yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.04,0:03:26.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as we stumble through these\Ngrowing pains together.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.41,0:03:29.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm fortunate and grateful\Nto work in a place
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.12,0:03:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where I feel embraced in any form.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.13,0:03:34.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Be it as a transgender man\Nor a person with dry skin
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.57,0:03:37.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or in this case, both.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.09,0:03:39.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I'm gonna be honest.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.34,0:03:41.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I haven't made many changes\Nto my skin care routine
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.64,0:03:42.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since sending this email.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.76,0:03:45.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I will say that I am\Nfeeling much more comfortable
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.44,0:03:46.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in my own skin.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.81,0:03:49.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's what thanks\Nto responses like these.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.17,0:03:53.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(soft music)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.72,0:04:10.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you might be wondering
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.79,0:04:12.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I'm the listener in this conversation,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.69,0:04:14.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what can I best do to support my colleague
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.61,0:04:17.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other than maybe referring\Nthem to my dermatologist?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.42,0:04:19.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, for starters, listen
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.64,0:04:21.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with an open heart and an empathetic ear.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.91,0:04:23.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're especially going\Nto want to listen here
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.66,0:04:25.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for this specific language\Nthe person is using
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.79,0:04:27.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to describe themselves\Nand their experience
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.81,0:04:29.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because that's the same language
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.04,0:04:30.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're going to wanna use back to them.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.47,0:04:33.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You might be tempted to ask\Nyour coworkers some questions
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.53,0:04:34.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about their identity.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.76,0:04:36.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Before you ask them a question,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.15,0:04:37.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ask yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.17,0:04:39.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can I find the answer to\Nthis in a search engine?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.83,0:04:41.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chances are the answer is yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.51,0:04:43.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if the answer is no, ask yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.70,0:04:45.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is this too personal of a question
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.42,0:04:46.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for me to be asking my colleague.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.95,0:04:48.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One question that is okay to ask though,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.93,0:04:51.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is there anything I can do\Nto support you at this time?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.96,0:04:53.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is a note for if you're responding
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.72,0:04:55.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the moment and in person.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.21,0:04:56.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if you want to be an active ally,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.78,0:04:58.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the conversation doesn't end here,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.63,0:05:01.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it picks up again with your\Ncolleagues and human resources
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.97,0:05:04.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on how you can make your\Nworkplace more inclusive
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.49,0:05:06.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of this person's identity.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.06,0:05:07.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chances are it's not\Njust going to help them,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.99,0:05:09.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but maybe someone else down the line.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.77,0:05:10.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, in my case,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.60,0:05:13.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it would be adding pronouns\Nto your email signature
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.16,0:05:15.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and asking your coworkers to do the same
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.07,0:05:17.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in order to help normalize\Nit across the org.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.36,0:05:19.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You could also be talking to HR
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.02,0:05:22.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about having more trans\Ninclusive healthcare policies.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.22,0:05:24.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my last piece of advice\Nis for both the listener
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.66,0:05:26.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the leader in the conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.26,0:05:28.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember that they're the same person
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.58,0:05:30.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've always known them to be.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.41,0:05:32.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the weight of stereotypes and stigmas
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.75,0:05:34.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that often keep our closet doors shut.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.80,0:05:38.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're afraid people are now\Ngonna see us as this thing
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.03,0:05:41.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of seeing this thing\Nas an aspect of who we are,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.01,0:05:42.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of we've always been.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.07,0:05:44.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know that was the case for me too,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.12,0:05:47.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it got easier for me\Nto say my name is Micah
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.73,0:05:50.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of the way I saw\Nit not only accepted,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.01,0:05:53.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but enthusiastically embraced\Nby all of my coworkers.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.40,0:05:56.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So whatever it is you're\Nkeeping in your closet,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.01,0:05:57.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope these tips empower you
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.65,0:06:00.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to bring your authentic\Nself into your workplace
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.22,0:06:03.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and hopefully feel more\Ncomfortable in your own skin.