(sarcastically) I love when they start playing Christmas music in October.
Shut up!
Man, it's been great having such a nice and peaceful Christmas this year.
Yep, totally uneventful.
Yeah.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
(sighs) I mean, I guess I miss our crazy adventures a little bit.
Yeah, they could have done with a little bit more violence.
Yeah, maybe a little bit more nudity.
Yeah, I should take my pants off.
No, dude! What's- why- what's wrong with you?!
Keep those on!
Okay, I'm sorry.
It's just that this year's Christmas has just been so boring.
(sighs) Yeah.
If only today were more like an animated Christmas special
or something, then we'd have a crazy awesome adventure for sure!
Yeah... You know what? That sounds like a job for our...
(Together) Imaginations!
Holy Betty White's ballsack! It worked!
Aw yeah! Now that we're animated, anything goes!
Check it out, I can fly!
- (thump) - (Anthony groans)
(muffled) Dammit. I guess that's not how it works in this animation.
It's all good, man.
I'm sure something crazy exciting is about to happen, any second now.
(knocking)
Aha! See!
Told you, somebody knocked on the door.
That's f**king exciting. Let's run to it!
(panting, laughter)
Oh god, I hope it's Ian's mom with no clothes on!
Hey guys, Merry Christmas!
(Ian) Eeh, no...
Ugh, f**king Stevie, seriously?
(Stevie) Guys, you know I saw you, and can still hear you, right?
Come on, let me in!
I'm freezing my holly jolly butthole out here!
Shut the hell up, Stevie!
Wait a second...
Did you see the size of that big-ass present?
Yeah, you think it was for us?
I mean obviously it's for us. He doesn't have any other friends.
Yeah.. I feel kinda bad, 'cause we didn't even get him anything.
Yeah, you know sometimes I pretend that he doesn't even exist.
- Yeah, just like your herpes. - What?
(Stevie) Guys, seriously? I can still hear you!
If we want that gift, I guess we're going to have to get him a gift too.
We need to get Stevie a present!
Yeah, but dude, it's Christmas Day. All the stores are closed.
F**cking lazy-ass union workers!
I know, get back to your job, idiots!
If we wanna get whatever's inside Stevie's box,
we're gonna need a Christmas miracle.
That sounds really wrong, but I'm gonna try something.
Oh great scary, omniscient Gods of the holiday season,
we implore you!
Please bring us a present to give to Stevie
so that we may avoid the social awkwardness and embarrassment!
Raaar!
I am a yeti, here to deliver your Christmas wish!
Ahh! Big-ass furry naked thing covered in fur!
Kill it, kill it!
Dude, no! He's here to help us!
Right you are. Here, give this gift to your pal, Stacey.
(muffled) My name is Stevie!
Wow! Thanks furry naked guy covered in fur!
Holy Santa's f**kballs, this is amazing!
Raaar! I am a yeti!
Now our house looks like a pride parade.
Yeah, we'd appreciate it if you didn't make our floor look like Kesha's butthole.
Dude, don't freak out. That's why we got the Roomba.
It works perfectly fine!
(crashing)
Raaar! Not this stuff!
It's the kind of glittery confetti
that really gets stuck good and deep into the rug!
You'll be finding little pieces of it in there for weeks!
Ra-aar!
(sarcastically) Oh, that's.. great.
(sarcastically) Super.
Hey, guys! I've lost all feeling
in my hands, feet, and testicles.
Sh-Should I be worried?
Raaar. Why don't you let your pal Stanley in,
and give him his present?
Hell yeah! He's gonna love this!
Thanks guys!
I was always totally 70 percent sure
you wouldn't let me die of hypothermia out there! (Laughs)
Of course not, Stevie! Now here's your gift.
Which we put tons of thought and care into and purchased way in advance.
A present for me?!
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
(rumbling)
(laughing)
Ahh!
What the fudge-covered Jesus is that thing?!
Oh my gosh, he's adorable!
I'm really gonna enjoy eating him alive!
Get your f**king hands off me, fatty!
Death to all!
(glass shatters)
May the blood of the living rain down for eons to come!
You know there's something about that gingerbread man I just don't like.
Specifically the stuff about the blood of the living raining down for eons to come.
I mean, he didn't even get my name right. It's Ian, not Eon!
And why does he want me to come?
I've got a very bad feeling about this...
It's okay, guys!
I'm just happy you got me a present this year!
(gasps) Ooh. Wanna play charades?
(car alarm, laughing)
(laughing)
Dude, seriously! What the hell is your deal?
Raaar! You dumbasses!
Didn't you know you should never trust a yeti at Christmas!
We can't stand all the joyfulness and cheers!
Ho-ho-hold on.
Don't you dare knock on Cheers!
Ted Danson is the sh*t!
Oh god, what's that thing doing now?
(flames crackle)
He's infecting all the other cookies!
They're gonna kill us all!
But they're so cute!
Yeah, you are all totally boned.
Mind if I ride out this wave of gingerbread zombies on your couch?
(sighs)
(channel changing) Nope, nope, seen it, nope.
(Porn moans) Ooh. I see you guys subscribe to all the channels!
- (porn star) Mmm. You get dat, girl. - (woman moans)
Seen it.
Alright! Here we go!
When picnics go wrong!
This show's my jam.
(maniacal laughing, car alarms)
Merry Christmas, bitches!
Die slowly!
You know, I feel partially responsible for this.
And I'm starting to think that yeti is a total d-bag.
(TV) I say Judy, these sandwiches are delicious.
- (monster roaring) - Ahh! He's eating my face!
(laughing)
It's funny, because they're all hideously disfigured! Hahaha!
- Anthony, what the hell are we going to do? - (sirens outside)
I don't know, but we've gotta act fast.
It's not like we've got a whole week to think of a plan.
♪ (Christmas music) ♪
Oh my god, a cliffhanger!
While you're waiting for part 2,
click the video on the right to watch another animation by the same people
that helped make this episode. It's called Alfred and Poe
and it's hilarious, I promise, click it.
My weapon of choice is the crossbow. Choose yours!
- (screaming) - Whoops, oh god..
And click the video on the left to see behind-the-scenes from this episode,
and watch us tell you our top five Christmas movies.
And we try to sing some Christmas carols.
And we're really, really, really good at it.
♪ Up on the rooftop, click, click, click ♪
♪ Down with Santa, suck your d**ck ♪
Oh.
Click subscribe if you don't want me to freeze my holly jolly butthole off!