WEBVTT
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(sarcastically) I love when they start
playing Christmas music in October.
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Shut up!
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Man, it's been great having such
a nice and peaceful Christmas this year.
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Yep, totally uneventful.
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Yeah.
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
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(sighs) I mean, I guess I miss
our crazy adventures a little bit.
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Yeah, they could have done
with a little bit more violence.
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Yeah, maybe a little bit more nudity.
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Yeah, I should take my pants off.
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No, dude! What's- why-
what's wrong with you?!
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Keep those on!
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Okay, I'm sorry.
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It's just that this year's Christmas
has just been so boring.
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(sighs) Yeah.
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If only today were more like
an animated Christmas special
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or something, then we'd have
a crazy awesome adventure for sure!
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Yeah... You know what?
That sounds like a job for our...
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(Together) Imaginations!
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Holy Betty White's ballsack!
It worked!
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Aw yeah! Now that
we're animated, anything goes!
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Check it out, I can fly!
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- (thump)
- (Anthony groans)
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(muffled) Dammit. I guess that's not how
it works in this animation.
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It's all good, man.
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I'm sure something crazy exciting is
about to happen, any second now.
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(knocking)
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Aha! See!
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Told you, somebody knocked on the door.
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That's f**king exciting.
Let's run to it!
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(panting, laughter)
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Oh god, I hope it's Ian's mom
with no clothes on!
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Hey guys, Merry Christmas!
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(Ian) Eeh, no...
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Ugh, f**king Stevie, seriously?
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(Stevie) Guys, you know I saw you,
and can still hear you, right?
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Come on, let me in!
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I'm freezing my holly jolly
butthole out here!
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Shut the hell up, Stevie!
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Wait a second...
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Did you see the size
of that big-ass present?
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Yeah, you think it was for us?
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I mean obviously it's for us.
He doesn't have any other friends.
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Yeah.. I feel kinda bad, 'cause we didn't
even get him anything.
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Yeah, you know sometimes I pretend
that he doesn't even exist.
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- Yeah, just like your herpes.
- What?
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(Stevie) Guys, seriously?
I can still hear you!
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If we want that gift, I guess we're going
to have to get him a gift too.
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We need to get Stevie a present!
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Yeah, but dude, it's Christmas Day.
All the stores are closed.
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F**cking lazy-ass union workers!
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I know, get back to your job, idiots!
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If we wanna get
whatever's inside Stevie's box,
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we're gonna need a Christmas miracle.
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That sounds really wrong,
but I'm gonna try something.
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Oh great scary, omniscient Gods
of the holiday season,
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we implore you!
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Please bring us
a present to give to Stevie
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so that we may avoid the social
awkwardness and embarrassment!
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Raaar!
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I am a yeti, here to deliver
your Christmas wish!
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Ahh! Big-ass furry
naked thing covered in fur!
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Kill it, kill it!
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Dude, no!
He's here to help us!
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Right you are.
Here, give this gift to your pal, Stacey.
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(muffled) My name is Stevie!
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Wow! Thanks furry naked guy covered in fur!
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Holy Santa's f**kballs, this is amazing!
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Raaar! I am a yeti!
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Now our house looks like a pride parade.
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Yeah, we'd appreciate it if you didn't
make our floor look like Kesha's butthole.
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Dude, don't freak out.
That's why we got the Roomba.
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It works perfectly fine!
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(crashing)
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Raaar! Not this stuff!
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It's the kind of glittery confetti
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that really gets stuck
good and deep into the rug!
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You'll be finding little pieces
of it in there for weeks!
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Ra-aar!
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(sarcastically) Oh, that's.. great.
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(sarcastically) Super.
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Hey, guys! I've lost all feeling
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in my hands, feet, and testicles.
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Sh-Should I be worried?
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Raaar. Why don't you let
your pal Stanley in,
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and give him his present?
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Hell yeah! He's gonna love this!
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Thanks guys!
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I was always totally 70 percent sure
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you wouldn't let me die
of hypothermia out there! (Laughs)
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Of course not, Stevie!
Now here's your gift.
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Which we put tons of thought and care
into and purchased way in advance.
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A present for me?!
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Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
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(rumbling)
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(laughing)
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Ahh!
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What the fudge-covered
Jesus is that thing?!
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Oh my gosh, he's adorable!
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I'm really gonna enjoy eating him alive!
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Get your f**king hands off me, fatty!
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Death to all!
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(glass shatters)
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May the blood of the living rain
down for eons to come!
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You know there's something about
that gingerbread man I just don't like.
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Specifically the stuff about the blood of the living
raining down for eons to come.
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I mean, he didn't even get my name right.
It's Ian, not Eon!
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And why does he want me to come?
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I've got a very bad feeling about this...
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It's okay, guys!
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I'm just happy you got
me a present this year!
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(gasps) Ooh. Wanna play charades?
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(car alarm, laughing)
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(laughing)
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Dude, seriously!
What the hell is your deal?
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Raaar! You dumbasses!
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Didn't you know you should
never trust a yeti at Christmas!
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We can't stand
all the joyfulness and cheers!
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Ho-ho-hold on.
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Don't you dare knock on Cheers!
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Ted Danson is the sh*t!
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Oh god, what's that thing doing now?
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(flames crackle)
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He's infecting all the other cookies!
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They're gonna kill us all!
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But they're so cute!
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Yeah, you are all totally boned.
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Mind if I ride out this wave
of gingerbread zombies on your couch?
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(sighs)
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(channel changing)
Nope, nope, seen it, nope.
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(Porn moans) Ooh. I see you guys
subscribe to all the channels!
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- (porn star) Mmm. You get dat, girl.
- (woman moans)
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Seen it.
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Alright! Here we go!
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When picnics go wrong!
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This show's my jam.
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(maniacal laughing, car alarms)
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Merry Christmas, bitches!
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Die slowly!
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You know, I feel
partially responsible for this.
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And I'm starting to think
that yeti is a total d-bag.
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(TV) I say Judy,
these sandwiches are delicious.
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- (monster roaring)
- Ahh! He's eating my face!
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(laughing)
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It's funny, because they're all hideously
disfigured! Hahaha!
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- Anthony, what the hell are we going to do?
- (sirens outside)
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I don't know, but we've gotta act fast.
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It's not like we've got
a whole week to think of a plan.
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♪ (Christmas music) ♪
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Oh my god, a cliffhanger!
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While you're waiting for part 2,
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click the video on the right to watch
another animation by the same people
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that helped make this episode.
It's called Alfred and Poe
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and it's hilarious,
I promise, click it.
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My weapon of choice is the crossbow.
Choose yours!
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- (screaming)
- Whoops, oh god..
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And click the video on the left to see
behind-the-scenes from this episode,
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and watch us tell you
our top five Christmas movies.
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And we try to sing some Christmas carols.
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And we're really, really, really good at it.
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♪ Up on the rooftop, click, click, click ♪
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♪ Down with Santa, suck your d**ck ♪
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Oh.
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Click subscribe if you don't want me
to freeze my holly jolly butthole off!