WEBVTT
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(Sarcastically) I love when they start playing
Christmas music in October.
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Shut up!
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Man it's been great having such a nice and
peaceful Christmas this year
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Yep, totally uneventful.
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Yeah.
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(Sighs) I mean, I guess I miss our crazy adventures
a little bit.
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Yeah, they could have done with a little bit
more violence.
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Yeah maybe a little bit more nudity.
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Yeah I should take my pants off.
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No dude what's- why- what's wrong with you?!
Keep those on!
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Okay I'm sorry. It's just that this year's Christmas
has just been so boring.
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(Sighs) Yeah, if only today were more like an
animated Christmas special or something
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Then we'd have a crazy awesome adventure for sure!
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Yeah... You know what, that sounds like a job for
our (together) imaginations!
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Holy Betty White's ballsack it worked!
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Ah yeah! Now that we're animated, anything goes!
Check it out, I can fly! (crashing)
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(Muffled) Dammit. I guess that's not how it works
in this animation.
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It's all good, man, I'm sure something crazy
exciting is about to happen, any second now.
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(Knocking)
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Aha! See! Told you, somebody knocked on the door.
That's f**king exciting. Let's run to it!
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(Laughing)
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Oh god, I hope it's Ian's mom with no clothes on!
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Hey guys, Merry Christmas!
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Eeh, no...
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Ugh, f**king Stevie, seriously?
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Guys, you know I saw you, and can still hear
you, right?
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Come on, let me in! I'm freezing my holly
jolly butthole out here!
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Shut the hell up Stevie!
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Wait a second, did you see the size of that
big-ass present?
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Yeah, you think it was for us?
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I mean obviously it's for us, he doesn't have
any other friends.
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Yeah.. I feel kinda bad, 'cause we didn't
even get him anything.
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Yeah, you know sometimes I pretend that he
doesn't even exist.
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Yeah, just like your herpes?
(Ian): What?
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Guys, seriously, I can still hear you!
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If we want that gift, I guess we're going to have to
give him a gift too.
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We need to get Stevie a present!
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Yeah but dude it's Christmas Day, all the
stores are closed.
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F**cking lazy-ass union workers
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I know, get back to your jobs, idiots.
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If we wanna get whatever's inside Stevie's box,
we're gonna need a Christmas miracle.
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That sound really wrong, but I'm gonna try something.
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Oh great scary omniscient Gods of the holiday season,
season, we implore you!
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Please bring us a present to give to Stevie so that we
may avoid the social awkwardness and embarrassment!
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Raaar! I am a yeti, here to deliver your Christmas wish!
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Ahh! Big-ass furry naked thing covered in fur!
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Kill it, kill it!
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Dude, no, he's here to help us!
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Right you are. Here, give this gift to your pal Stacey.
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(Muffled) My name is Stevie!
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Wow! Thanks furry naked guy covered in fur
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Holy Santa's f**kballs, this is amazing!
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Raaar! I am a yeti!
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Now our house looks like a pride parade.
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Yeah, we'd appreciate it if you didn't make our floor
look like Kesha's butthole.
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Dude, don't freak out, that's why we got the roomba.
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It works perfectly fine!
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(Crashing)
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Raaar! Not this stuff!
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It's the kind of glittery confetti that really gets
stuck good and deep into the rug!
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You'll be finding little pieces of it in there for weeks!
Ra-aar!
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(Sarcastically) Oh, that's.. great.
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(Sarcastically) Super.
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Hey, guys! I've lost all feeling in my hands,
feet, and testicles.
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Should I be worried?
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Raaar. Why don't you let your pal Stanley in,
and give him his present?
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Hell yeah! He's gonna love this!
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Thanks guys!
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I was always totally 70 percent sure you wouldn't
let me die of hypothermia out there! (Laughs)
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Of course not, Stevie! Now here's your gift.
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Which we put tons of thought and care into and
purchased way in advance.
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A present for me?! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
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(Rumbling)
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(Laughing)
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Ahh!
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What the fudge-covered Jesus is that thing?!
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Oh my gosh, he's adorable!
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I'm really gonna enjoy eating him alive!
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Get your f**king hands off me, fatty!
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Death to all!
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(Smashing)
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May the blood of the living rain down for eons
to come!
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You know there's something about that
gingerbread man I just don't like.
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Specifically the stuff about the blood of the living
raining down for eons to come,
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I mean he didn't even get my name right, it's Ian,
not eon!
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And why does he want me to come?
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I've got a very bad feeling about this...
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It's okay guys, I'm just happy you got me a present
this year!
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(Gasps) Ooh. Wanna play charades?
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(Car alarm) (Laughing)
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(Laughing)
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Dude seriously what the hell is your deal?
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Raaar! You dumbasses!
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Didn't you know you should never trust a yeti
at Christmas!
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We can't stand all the joyfulness and cheers!
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Ho-ho-hold on.
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Don't you dare knock on Cheers! Ted Danson
is the sh*t!
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Oh god, what's that thing doing now?
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He's infecting all the other cookies!
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They're gonna kill us all!
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But they're so cute!
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Yeah, you are all totally boned. Mind if I ride out
this wave of gingerbread zombies on your couch?
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(Sighs)
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(Channel changing) Nope, nope, seen it, nope.
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(Porn moans) Ooh. I see you guys subscribe
to all the channels!
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Seen it.
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Alright! Here we go!
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When picnics go wrong!
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This show's my jam.
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(Laughing) (Car alarms)
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Merry Christmas, bitches!
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Die slowly!
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You know, I feel partially responsible for this.
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And I'm starting to think that yeti is a total
d-bag.
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(TV) I say Judy, these sandwiches are delicious.
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(Roaring) Ahh! He's eating my face!
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(Laughing) It's funny, because they're all hideously
disfigured! Hahaha!
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Anthony, what the hell are we going to do?
(Sirens outside)
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I don't know, but we've gotta act fast. It's not
like we've got a whole week to think of a plan.
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(Christmas music)
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Oh my god, a cliffhanger!
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While you're waiting for part 2, click the video on the
right to watch another animation by the same people
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that helped make this episode, it's called Alfred and Poe
and it's hilarious, I promise, click it.
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My weapon of choice is the crossbow. Choose yours!
(Screaming) Whoops, oh god..
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And click the video on the left to see behind the scenes
from this episode,
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and watch us tell you our top five Christmas movies.
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And, we try to sing some Christmas carols, and we're
really, really, really good at it.