Hello, Jay.
Primus, do you notice anything different about the aliens today?
Great Caesar's ball sack!
The zoo keepers have stolen my seed and created ali-mens.
There's gotta be a better explanation, and probably a better name.
There is another explanation!
Merchandising!
Great Caesar's ball sack.
Look at me!
I'm the human who never shuts it up and always tries to escape!
(Horf) I'm a fool, look at me!
You insult me, jailor, and I--
(grunts)
Rome is falling.
Zoo visitors are buying many units.
It's a very well-made product.
(reading) Made in China?
Wow, they really are in every market now.
Rome rises again.
This item is also popular.
Probably because the dramatic human
is also in the daily mating shows.
I'm flattered.
Do not be too flattered.
There were requests for you to execute more than only one sexual position.
But the inverted Trojan Horse is my favorite.
Well, I'm open to something new.
I suppose we could try the Greasy Catapult
or the Reverse Slave Girl.
That could be stimulating.
Or perhaps the Centaur Replunger.
Or Wookie Style?
(Horf) But we have a bigger problem.
Most human merchandise is not selling well.
Ah!
We have the apathetic human's pretentious spectacles.
Are your glasses even prescription?
They do seem like an affectation.
Really?
Like your cigarette holder?
Yeah, there aren't any cigarettes here, Rita.
You're smoking air!
Be kind.
Smoking is an addiction. It's tough to beat.
Shut it up!
We also have the innocent human's pearl necklace.
(laughter) He just gave June a pearl necklace, man!
Earl.
The idiot human's stupid shirt, one size fits some.
Wolfbang was my metal band on Earth, man!
Awesome!
Unawesome.
We have sold only five stupid shirts!
We didn't sell even one on Earth, man.
Shut it up!
We also have the intellectual human's constantly disapproving frown.
What?!
Observe.
(buzzing)
What a wonderful piece of technology.
I don't like it.
And the annoying human who talks too much
is a little dolly that talks too much.
(doll) No way! Absolutely not.
Okay, come on. That is not cool.
(doll) That is not cool.
(laughter)
That dolly is awesome.
I agree.
The whiny quality of the dolly's voice is very accurate.
Can we at least call it an action figure?
Yeah, more like "inaction" figure.
(doll and man) Okay, that's enough.
- (giggling) - Oh, your sales must increase.
So be more interesting, humans!
Or you will all be in a mating show.
(whirring)
I've discovered something called BDSM.
OMFG.
Horf, come on, isn't a zoo supposed to have the species
behaving normally and naturally?
Not if they're boring!
Okay, so you want us to just act crazy and stupid
like a bunch of clowns, like this is some kind of circus.
What is this "circus" you speak of? It sounds interesting!
(circus music)
I'm so sorry, guys.
(honking)
I am humiliated, but amazed you can juggle on a unicycle.
Yeah, riding a unicycle basically says,
"Hey, world. I'm a total f*ckwad."
Yeah, what're you doing anyway?
I think Horf got confused about the lion tamer role.
- (whips) - (shrieks)
Holler your name, dude!
My name's Lionel and I don't know how I got here.
(shrieks)
Thanks, Lionel.
(Lionel) I think I peed a little!
Is it bad that I'm totally enjoying this?
(June) Well, I'm really not enjoying this.
And this beard is so itchy!
You guys have it easy, man! These boots ain't made
for the high-wire, man!
Shut it up and traverse the wire!
All right, I'm goin' already, man!
Ridiculous.
I'm embarrassed for them.
So what new position shall we use in the mating show?
Perhaps the Cleveland Caesar?
Well, I thought I was supposed to be the dominate one!
(muffled screams)
Yargh!
- (shrieking from above) - No!
Lionel broke my fall, but I don't think neither of us
doin' too good.
(Horf) Blast!
The idiot human is damaged.
Discount his merchandise by 20%.
[Captioned by Subtitle YouTube]