WEBVTT

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We will not be
supportive of one another

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so that we can get
in touch with our feelings

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in order to feel
good about ourselves.

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And if you're one
of those people

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who needs a little space,

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please, go the fuck outside!

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We will,

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we will, however,

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be talking about
those little moments

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that seem to last forever.

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Have you ever been

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in a serious social situation

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when you suddenly realize

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you have to pull the underwear

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out of the crack in your ass?

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Do you take this woman

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to be your lawful wedded wife?

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Huh?

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Who, her?

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Oh, hell yeah.

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Well, it's one of life's
little moments, isn't it?

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It's one of those
little moments

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you have to deal
with at the time.

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You can't postpone that.

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You can't put that off

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and be walking
around like this.

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You've got to get in there

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and clear that thing out.

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You've got to
rescue your underwear.

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There's a letter
in your mailbox.

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That's right.

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And you have to rectify

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that situation

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so that you can move along

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to your next
embarrassing moment,

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which is probably
scheduled immediately.

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That's the way life is,

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full of those little moments.

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Everybody knows them,

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everybody recognizes them.

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You ever been at
a really loud party,

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I mean, a good loud party

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where the music
is playing too loud

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and everybody is
talking too loudly,

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and in order to be heard

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even by the person
standing right next to you,

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you've got to be screaming
at the top of your lungs.

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But every now
and then at a party,

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it seems as though everyone
shuts up at the same time.

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And only your voice,

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can be heard.

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Right, I know.

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I know.

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Well, what I'm going to do,

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I'm going to have
my testicles laminated.

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Life's little moments.

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You ever been
talking to someone

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and you laugh
through your nose

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and blow a snot
on your shirt.

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And you have to just
kind of keep talking,

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you know,

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and make believe
it's part of the design.

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Works all right if you're
wearing a Hawaiian shirt,

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but otherwise
they're going to notice.

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Ed, you got a big
snot on your shirt.

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Some guys are
really cruel, you know.

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And some of these things

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are not even your fault.

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These little
things that happen,

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you didn't cause
the situation,

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a lot of time
you're the victim.

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You walk into
some situation,

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and suddenly you're the one
who's taking all the heat.

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Not your fault.

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Give you an example of
the kind of thing I mean.

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Did you ever meet somebody

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and you go to
shake the guy's hand

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and you suddenly realize

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he doesn't have
a complete hand?

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And you got to make
believe it feels great,

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Right, you can't go ahhhhhhhh,

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ahhhhhhhh!

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Ahhhhh!

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You can't do that.

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It's not even an option.

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You got to hang
in there and say hi,

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hey, swell hand.

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Give me three.