[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.79,0:00:19.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what is the biggest challenge\Nthat men face today?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.67,0:00:22.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, some people might think,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.18,0:00:24.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Men have challenges?"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.97,0:00:29.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Others might think,\N"Men are actually a challenge."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.22,0:00:30.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.14,0:00:32.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.56,0:00:34.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, there we go.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.06,0:00:36.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause) (Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.15,0:00:40.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But really, what are the biggest\Nchallenges that men face today?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.46,0:00:42.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some might say that\Nit's being able to develop
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.90,0:00:45.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a deep sense of emotional intelligence,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.100,0:00:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while others would say\Nthat it's being able to really understand
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.52,0:00:52.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,racial and gender inequality.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.85,0:00:55.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, while both of those are true,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.06,0:00:58.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I see that the biggest challenge\Nthat they face in order to address those
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.49,0:01:02.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is being able to overcome and move through\Nsome of the negative stereotypes
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.70,0:01:05.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that surround masculinity.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.71,0:01:07.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, at a very young age,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.14,0:01:13.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most boys and young men are taught\Nthat their highest value as a man
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.34,0:01:20.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is their ability to dominate,\Nto control and to succeed at all costs.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.94,0:01:23.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, I've had a unique experience
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.80,0:01:26.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I've been able to see masculinity\Nin all different forms
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.93,0:01:29.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all walks of life,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.53,0:01:32.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the frozen gravel pits\Nof Northern Alberta
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.87,0:01:36.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the opera houses of Europe and China,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.58,0:01:40.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all the way back to the corporate\Nboardrooms of North America.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.24,0:01:46.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've seen the dark, violent\Nand aggressive side of masculinity,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.52,0:01:50.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I've seen the light,\Ncompassionate, caring side.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.61,0:01:53.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember growing up in Alberta,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.47,0:01:56.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and for those of you\Nwho don't know what that's like,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.06,0:01:58.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's kind of like the Texas of Canada.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.61,0:01:59.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.17,0:02:02.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a lot of oil,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.06,0:02:03.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's a lot of big trucks,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.87,0:02:06.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there seems to be\Na plethora of cowboys.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.75,0:02:11.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I grew up going\Nto a Catholic elementary school,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.46,0:02:13.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and every Friday morning,\Nwe had this great tradition
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.95,0:02:15.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I absolutely loved.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.36,0:02:18.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every Friday morning,\Nsomebody would come over the intercom
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.12,0:02:19.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they would read the Lord's prayer
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.89,0:02:21.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it was a Catholic\Nelementary school,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.94,0:02:23.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but then, after that,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.06,0:02:26.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,somebody would come on,\Nand they would sing the national anthem.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.16,0:02:27.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I loved this!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.31,0:02:29.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I loved this because I loved music.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.50,0:02:32.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And every week, the teacher would ask,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.14,0:02:36.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Is somebody willing to volunteer\Nto go and sing the national anthem?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.11,0:02:38.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And every week, I would want\Nto put my hand up,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.40,0:02:40.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I was too scared.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.30,0:02:45.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Finally, after hearing somebody\Ncompletely botch it one Friday morning,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.85,0:02:50.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I decided, "I can do this, and I can\Nprobably even do it better than them."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.18,0:02:53.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I went home that day, and I practiced.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.76,0:02:56.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I practiced and practiced and practiced.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.03,0:02:59.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From morning to night,\Nfrom bedroom to bathroom,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.05,0:03:03.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I practiced singing the national anthem,\Nand it must have driven my parents crazy!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.18,0:03:06.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I actually remember I had\None of those double cassette decks
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.100,0:03:11.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you could put a cassette in one side\Nand a cassette in the other,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.17,0:03:13.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so I could put\NMichael Jackson in on one side,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.98,0:03:18.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I would listen to him sing "Bad"\Nand "Thriller" and "Heal the World,"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.79,0:03:20.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I would practice my (Singing).
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.61,0:03:22.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then on the other side -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.04,0:03:23.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.68,0:03:26.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would practice myself\Nsinging the national anthem.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.47,0:03:30.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So finally, I got the courage up\Nto go and do this.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.64,0:03:33.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So one Friday morning,\NI march myself to school,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.77,0:03:37.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I walk straight into the office,\NI go right up to the secretary and I say,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.80,0:03:41.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I am here to sing the national anthem."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.34,0:03:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.00,0:03:46.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she looks at me clearly confused\Nabout why I'm so excited.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.64,0:03:49.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she just says, "Okay ..."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.42,0:03:50.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.61,0:03:51.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So my time comes,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.78,0:03:54.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I get up and I sing that national anthem
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.26,0:03:58.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with all the jazz and pop tones\Nthat I can possibly muster.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.11,0:03:59.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.74,0:04:01.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In my mind, it goes amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.66,0:04:02.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.84,0:04:06.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I walk out of the office\Nwith my head held high,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.11,0:04:09.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with my pride in tow\Nand a grin from ear to ear.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.83,0:04:15.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As I'm going to class, I turn the corner\Nand I bumped into the grade-six bully.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.100,0:04:18.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's a little bit bigger than me.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.13,0:04:19.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He looks at me and he says,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.64,0:04:23.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Was that you that just sang\Nthe national anthem?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.23,0:04:24.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yes,"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.16,0:04:27.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I say, clearly proud of myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.33,0:04:29.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then, bam!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.82,0:04:32.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He punches me right in the gut.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.62,0:04:36.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I drop to my knees\Nbecause I can't breathe,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.11,0:04:40.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I look up at him and all I can manage\Nto squeak out is, "Why?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.26,0:04:43.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I'm so confused\Nas to what the heck just happened.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.98,0:04:47.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'll never forget:\Nhe just looks at me,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.03,0:04:49.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he says, "Don't be such a bitch.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.23,0:04:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Singing is for girls."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.56,0:04:54.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there it was,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.82,0:04:56.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my first real experience
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.77,0:05:00.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with what one of the biggest challenges\Nthat young boys and young men face today,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.87,0:05:04.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being taught that emotional\Nand creative expression
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.35,0:05:07.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not what a real man does.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.76,0:05:14.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, the rise of the empowered woman\Nis not a threat to masculinity.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.66,0:05:17.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Feminism is not the death of men.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.14,0:05:21.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.41,0:05:23.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.19,0:05:25.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.16,0:05:30.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Machoism and our idea
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.10,0:05:33.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that in order to be a successful man\Nwe need to dominate others,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.11,0:05:36.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we need to be a lone wolf,\Nwe need to figure it out by ourselves,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.35,0:05:38.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's what's really crushing men today.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.32,0:05:40.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what is machoism?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.66,0:05:42.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it really that bad?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.45,0:05:44.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, there was a wrestler\Nnamed Macho Man.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.87,0:05:46.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It can't be that horrible.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.90,0:05:48.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, let's take a look.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.94,0:05:52.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So machoism ...
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.28,0:05:56.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Machoism is a strong sense\Nof masculine pride -
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.87,0:05:58.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,okay, not so bad -
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.49,0:06:00.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the supreme valuation\Nof characteristics
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.84,0:06:04.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,culturally associated with the masculine
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.33,0:06:09.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the denigration and devaluation
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.27,0:06:13.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of characteristics culturally\Nassociated with the feminine.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.42,0:06:16.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That means that young boys\Nand young men
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.65,0:06:20.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that are trying to live\Ninto this very macho stereotype,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.20,0:06:23.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this macho, you know, archetype,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.51,0:06:27.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put masculine qualities\Nand masculine traits on a pedestal
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.64,0:06:30.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and diminish anything\Nthat's associated with the feminine,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.41,0:06:33.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things like community.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.91,0:06:36.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They end up idolizing and worshiping\Nand putting on a pedestal
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.82,0:06:40.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this idea that we need to be a lone wolf\Nin order to figure everything out,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.83,0:06:43.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in order to be "a real man."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.11,0:06:46.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found this photo a few years back,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.94,0:06:51.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it fundamentally shifted\Nthe way that I see men in our society,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.10,0:06:52.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,successful men.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.03,0:06:56.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, at the front\Nof the pack are three wolves,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.38,0:07:00.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and these three wolves\Nare actually the oldest and the sickest.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.75,0:07:04.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're there to kind of set the pace\Nfor the entire pack.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.10,0:07:07.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, behind them\Nare the five omega wolves.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.71,0:07:09.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are the tough guys.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.66,0:07:12.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, these five omega wolves\Nare there to protect the pack
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.85,0:07:14.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in case of an ambush,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.61,0:07:17.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and every once in a while, you know,\Nnip the older ones in the butt
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.77,0:07:20.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make sure that\Nthey're moving on fast enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.92,0:07:24.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, behind the five omega wolves\Nis the rest of the pack,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.47,0:07:26.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, the moms and the baby cubs,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.99,0:07:31.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and at the very back,\Nalmost off of the picture entirely,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.73,0:07:33.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the alpha wolf.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.08,0:07:37.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, you see, in nature,\Nthey have it right,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.91,0:07:39.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they know what they're doing.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.42,0:07:44.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In nature, the alpha wolf\Nis an integral part of society,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.49,0:07:47.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's an integral part of the community.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.47,0:07:51.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in nature, the lone wolf\Nis actually an outcast,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.57,0:07:54.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he is an outcast\Nbecause he is too violent
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.98,0:07:58.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he is too dangerous for the pack.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.33,0:08:01.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But these archetypes,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.56,0:08:02.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these sort of characteristics
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.95,0:08:06.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that a lot of young boys\Nand a lot of men are trying to live into,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.20,0:08:11.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this macho idea and this idea\Nthat we need to be a lone wolf,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.29,0:08:14.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is what's really having\Na negative impact on most men today.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.51,0:08:19.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is what's created\Nwhat I call the mask of masculinity.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.76,0:08:22.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The mask of masculinity\Nsounds something like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.63,0:08:24.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rule number one: real men don't cry.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.67,0:08:27.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's kind of like the first rule\Nof "Fight Club."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.06,0:08:29.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody knows it, nobody talks about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.89,0:08:32.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rule number two: real men\Ndon't express emotions openly,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.52,0:08:35.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unless it's anger and aggression.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.65,0:08:37.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Real men aren't empathetic.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.50,0:08:39.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there's strength in retaliation:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.41,0:08:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you get hit or you get hurt,\Nyou damn well better hit back
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.28,0:08:45.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you better hurt back twice as hard.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.23,0:08:49.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You need to be tough and strong.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.01,0:08:54.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You need to avoid anything\Nthat resembles being a woman.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.79,0:08:59.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, this mask, these\Narchetypes have an impact.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.68,0:09:02.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have consequences.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.58,0:09:05.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The consequences are very real.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.58,0:09:09.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The World Health Organization\Nlast year released a study
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.00,0:09:14.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,showing that men are four times\Nmore likely to commit suicide than women.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.76,0:09:16.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Four times.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.41,0:09:24.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That means that out of the 800,000 people\Nwho took their lives last year,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.08,0:09:26.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,three quarters of them were men.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.72,0:09:29.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's nearly 600,000 men.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.04,0:09:31.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So why is this happening?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.07,0:09:34.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why is this on a borderline epidemic?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.75,0:09:38.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, researchers in the UK did a study
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.93,0:09:44.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and found that half, 50 percent\Nof men over the age of 25
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.83,0:09:50.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cannot identify what they would consider\Nto be a best friend or a close friend.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.92,0:09:53.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, that means that\Nif they lose their job,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.47,0:09:55.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if they're struggling financially,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.34,0:09:59.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if they lose a parent,\Nif they lose a child,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.90,0:10:02.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if they're diagnosed with cancer,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.30,0:10:04.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if their business is struggling so bad
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.23,0:10:06.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they don't know\Nhow they're going to pay themselves
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.89,0:10:08.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or their employees,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.73,0:10:10.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they have no one to go talk to.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.82,0:10:16.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Researchers have linked this\Nto the 60-percent increase -
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.49,0:10:18.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,60-percent increase -
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.54,0:10:22.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in male suicides\Nover the last 45 years alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.17,0:10:27.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That doesn't even take into account\Nthe millions of men who will die in wars,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.82,0:10:30.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fathers and sons who'll be\Ngunned down in the streets
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.30,0:10:32.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because emotional inaptitudes,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.76,0:10:35.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not to mention the millions of women
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.89,0:10:41.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who'll be abused, who'll be raped,\Nwho'll be mutilated and who'll be killed
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.56,0:10:45.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of this misplaced\Nsense of superiority.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.59,0:10:54.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I'm not proud of it, but I lived\Ninto this archetype for a very long time.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.53,0:10:58.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was stuck behind this mask\Nof what I thought it meant to be a man.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.24,0:11:03.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And because of that, I found myself alone,\NI found myself isolated, depressed,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.20,0:11:08.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and worst of all, I hurt the people\Nthat I loved the most in my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.14,0:11:10.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, along that journey,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.51,0:11:14.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I refused to give in\Nand I refused to live in this archetype,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.64,0:11:16.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I learned how to do this -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.39,0:11:22.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Singing in Italian) Mercy,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.19,0:11:25.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,respect,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.62,0:11:29.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,love,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.42,0:11:33.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the comfort
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.16,0:11:39.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of declining years ...
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.99,0:11:42.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.32,0:11:45.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These will place
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.75,0:11:51.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no flowers.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.43,0:11:56.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.43,0:12:10.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I refused\Nto buy into this stereotype,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.59,0:12:12.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got a degree in music,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.23,0:12:14.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I traveled the world singing opera,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.43,0:12:17.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I ended up working for the biggest\Ncompany in the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:17.07,0:12:20.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and ultimately, I started\Nan organization called Man Talks,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.58,0:12:23.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which supports men\Nin being better fathers,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.13,0:12:25.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,better husbands and better leaders
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.50,0:12:28.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through real connections,\Nreal conversations
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.66,0:12:30.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a powerful community.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.44,0:12:32.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So where do we start?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.88,0:12:36.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because this is a big question,\Nand it's a real challenge.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.36,0:12:39.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I say it starts with you,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.84,0:12:41.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it starts with me,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.51,0:12:44.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but most importantly,\Nit starts with our sons.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.77,0:12:47.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, a few years back\Nwhen I was still singing,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.97,0:12:52.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had the opportunity to work with a group\Nof underprivileged inner-city boys,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.95,0:12:57.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and these kids were between the ages\Nof 10 and 14, maybe 15.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.44,0:13:02.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot of them came from families,\Nyou know, with single parents,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.75,0:13:04.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,definitely under the poverty line.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.91,0:13:08.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot of them came from, you know,\Nhomes where their parents were addicts.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.57,0:13:11.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I was there to work\Nwith them about creativity,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.53,0:13:13.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and passion, and expression,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.50,0:13:15.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things that I clearly enjoy talking about.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.78,0:13:19.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I started off the day\Nwith singing the exact same lines
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.93,0:13:21.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I just sang for you today,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.80,0:13:23.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then, when I was done,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.47,0:13:26.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I explained and translated\Nthe first three words -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.87,0:13:30.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was from Macbeth, by the way.\NThat's Macbeth's aria.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.31,0:13:34.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said, "pietà," "rispetto, "amore."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.90,0:13:38.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Honor," "respect," and "love,"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.83,0:13:44.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,three things that every man\Nand every woman can live by in their life.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.26,0:13:48.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, as soon as I was finished,\None of the kids spoke up, and he said,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.59,0:13:50.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Love makes you weak. Love is for girls."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.90,0:13:53.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he just crosses his arms\Nand looks away.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.24,0:13:55.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was a little taken aback.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.55,0:14:00.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was fully and mentally prepared\Nto get made fun of for singing opera
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.14,0:14:02.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in front of these kids,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:02.03,0:14:04.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I wasn't expecting this.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.86,0:14:07.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Why do you say that?"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.62,0:14:11.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He didn't respond, he just nodded off\Nand looked out the window.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:11.71,0:14:17.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Love is one of the most powerful\Nvirtues and characteristics that we have."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.06,0:14:18.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's one of the most powerful virtues
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.82,0:14:21.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we can hope\Nto experience in our lifetime.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.88,0:14:24.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Love is for men, and love is for women.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.50,0:14:28.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Love creates an equal playing field\Nwhere all of us get to show up.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:29.80,0:14:30.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I didn't press it
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.99,0:14:34.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I didn't want to call this kid out\Nin front of the rest of the class,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.61,0:14:35.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so I let it go.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.61,0:14:37.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the end of the class, he was up and out
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.61,0:14:40.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before I even had a chance\Nto say anything.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:41.90,0:14:45.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thankfully I was back the next morning,\Nand I was going to address it with him.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.64,0:14:49.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That morning, I was sitting at my computer\Nand getting ready for the class,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.16,0:14:53.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and before anybody else showed up,\Nin walks this same little boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:54.01,0:14:56.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he walks up to me,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:56.12,0:14:59.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and kind of kicking his feet,\Nhe says, "Hi."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.46,0:15:01.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I say, "Hi."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:02.75,0:15:06.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He says, "I'm sorry\Nfor what I said yesterday."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.92,0:15:09.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "It's okay. Why did you say that?"
Dialogue: 0,0:15:10.96,0:15:12.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.54,0:15:16.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Three months ago,\Nmy mom passed away of cancer.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.80,0:15:21.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I loved her more\Nthan anybody in the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:22.80,0:15:25.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it hurt, it hurt so bad."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:26.74,0:15:30.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he said, "Every time that I would cry,\Nmy dad would just yell at me,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:30.27,0:15:31.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and yell at me.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.85,0:15:34.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he would say, "Stop crying!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:34.04,0:15:37.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't be so emotional.\NDeal with this like a man!"
Dialogue: 0,0:15:39.68,0:15:42.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, here is this twelve-year-old boy,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:42.21,0:15:43.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,clearly not a man.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:44.45,0:15:47.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I knelt down because my heart\Nwas breaking for him,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.80,0:15:51.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I wrapped my arms around him,\Nand he just broke down, crying.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.56,0:15:54.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said, "It's okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.00,0:15:56.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's okay."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:57.69,0:16:00.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes, all the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:00.60,0:16:02.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"dealing with it like a man"
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.56,0:16:06.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,means having the courage\Nto see what's actually there
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.19,0:16:07.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of running away from it.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.90,0:16:11.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, with that in mind,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.08,0:16:14.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to leave you\Nwith three simple things.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:14.96,0:16:16.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Guys,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:16.58,0:16:18.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is time to start building\Nyour brotherhoods,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.78,0:16:21.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's time to start reconnecting\Nwith the men in your life
Dialogue: 0,0:16:21.92,0:16:26.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who are willing to have\Nthe real conversations,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:26.10,0:16:31.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the ones that go beyond the booze,\Nand the babes, and the blood sports.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:31.68,0:16:33.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.45,0:16:36.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:42.44,0:16:44.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I'm not saying\Nthat you've got to get a guitar
Dialogue: 0,0:16:44.90,0:16:48.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and get around the campfire\Nand, you know, cry
Dialogue: 0,0:16:48.08,0:16:49.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sing Kumbaya.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.48,0:16:50.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:50.77,0:16:53.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, what I am saying is:\Nhave the meaningful conversations
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.58,0:16:57.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about what is actually\Nhappening in your life.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:59.16,0:17:00.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And ladies -
Dialogue: 0,0:17:01.32,0:17:02.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sigh)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:03.26,0:17:05.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've been through a lot together.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:05.17,0:17:06.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:06.68,0:17:09.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First off, ladies,\NI just want to say thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:09.30,0:17:11.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you to every single one of you.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:11.78,0:17:16.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Second off, I want to say that this talk\Nis a formal invitation
Dialogue: 0,0:17:16.57,0:17:21.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to each and every single one of you\Nto join our conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:21.32,0:17:25.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Help us, support us in finding strength\Nwithin our vulnerabilities,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:25.89,0:17:28.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for it is there where\Nwe will truly meet you.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:30.18,0:17:32.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And lastly, fathers,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:34.53,0:17:39.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be the type of man that you would be\Nproud to see your daughters marry
Dialogue: 0,0:17:39.49,0:17:44.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the type of man that your son\Ndeserves to be raised by
Dialogue: 0,0:17:44.14,0:17:47.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so he can stop being part of the problem
Dialogue: 0,0:17:47.45,0:17:50.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he can start\Nbeing part of the solution.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:51.90,0:17:54.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause) (Cheering)