WEBVTT

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Thank you.

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Hello, my name is Kevin Bahler.

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I am the grant writer
for Allentown Symphony Association.

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I always find that
a strange way to introduce myself.

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It's not that I don't like my job -
I'm very proud of it -

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but why is that our only introduction?

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When I was five,
I have lots of introductions.

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"Hi! My name is Kevin,
and my favorite color is green."

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"Hi! My name is Kevin,
and I have a cat named Tiger."

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"Hi! My name is Kevin,
and I love finger-painting!"

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Admittedly, that last one
was kind of playing it safe

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because, let's be honest,
who doesn't love finger-painting?

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But I didn't pick it because it was safe,

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I picked it

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because I was always honest and upfront
about who I was and what I loved.

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When I was in elementary school,

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I changed my introductions
to match my newest interests.

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"Hi, my name is Kevin,
and I like watching Power Rangers."

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"Hi, my name is Kevin,
and I do the martial art Aikido."

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"Hi, my name is Kevin,
and my favorite food is quiche."

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Yes, I was a very weird boy,
and I admit it.

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But there reaches an age

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when being honest and open about yourself

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is the social equivalent of getting
"kick me" tattooed across your forehead.

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So as I got older,
I slowly picked the safer options.

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By the time I was in high school,

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I had changed my introductions
to match what was normal.

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"Hey, I'm Kevin,
and I like watching The Simpsons."

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"Hey, I'm Kevin,
and I like eating corn-pops."

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I didn't even tell people
I did martial arts.

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And it's not I ever lied about myself,

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I just told people the parts of me
they expected to hear.

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How come?

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Well, in case you don't remember
high school very well, you need to fit in.

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And whether you want to fit in
with the popular kids

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or if you want to fit in
with a counterculture,

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If you want to have any friends,

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you need to have something
in common with somebody.

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And the safer your introduction,
the more likely you are to connect.

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So I figured out
how to say the right things

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and I survived high school
without being ostracized

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as a "quiche-gobbling wannabe Ninja,"

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and that was a victory.

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But when graduation day came,
I was so excited for college.

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This was a place where people
paid the money to learn.

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It had to be filled with
incredibly passionate people, right?

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Yeah, guess how wrong I was;
I'll give you a hint.

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It was a lot.

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It turns out that passionate or not,
everybody on campus had one introduction.

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"Hey, I'm Kevin, and my major is ...,"

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and nobody cared what your major was.

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It was just the only
allowable introduction.

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But you know why?

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Because everybody had one.

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It was this way
to kind of define yourself,

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but always within the safety
of the established programs.

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I have to admit: I have not always been

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the charming, charismatic,
sharp-dressed man you see before you.

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In fact, I used to be a huge nerd
that would do anything to have friends.

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So when I was in college,
I mastered the safe introduction,

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and I mastered the safe conversation,
and I mastered the safe friendship.

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And you know what?
Safe friends are boring!

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We didn't do anything.

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We sat in our dorms,
complained about teachers and homework,

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and that was 'hanging out.'

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By the time I was in junior year,

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I had more 'friends'
than I had time to spend with them.

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And I wasn't even enjoying myself.

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When I realized this,
it pushed me over the tipping point,

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and I finally stopped
caring about fitting in,

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and I started caring about being happy.

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So instead of being safe,
I started being honest.

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"Hi, I'm Kevin, and I'm fascinated
by chemistry and physics."

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"Hi, my name is Kevin,
and my favorite band ever is Muse."

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"Hi, my name is Kevin,
and I love finger-painting!"

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You don't grow out of it, you don't.

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And the funny thing about
allowing myself to just be me

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is that all those boring people
stopped wanting to hang out with me

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because I wasn't safe.

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And all the people
who stuck around were awesome!

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These were people who did things:
we hiked, we swam,

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we practiced martial arts together,

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we could discuss anything

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from black holes to stand up comedians,
from Wittgenstein to Winnie The Pooh,

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and all the while, we were laughing.

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And it is so easy to get lost
in having a good time.

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So I made sure to remind myself
of one simple fact:

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I would never have my true friends

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if I wasn't willing to be rejected
by everybody else.

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So when I graduated college,
I was ready to enter the real world.

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I'd learned to let go
of the safety of conformity,

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and I was ready to meet
other self-actualized adults.

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And guess how many I met.

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Yeah, about the same as you.

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It turns out that it was
just the same introduction from college,

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only now, with wore a suit,

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or more often, a name tag.

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"Hello, my name is meaningless,
and I am my job."

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Now, like I said at the beginning,
I am proud of my job.

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I'm privileged to be able
to earn my living

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by raising money for the symphony;

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but when I was nine,
I never introduced myself by saying,

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"Hi, my name is Kevin, and when I grow up,
I want to be a grant writer."

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I wasn't that weird of a kid.

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And even today, as an adult,

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there are things
that I'm far more passionate about

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than mailing out project budgets
and annual reports.

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And passion is what this is really about.

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I find it so mind-blowing
that so many people have so many passions

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and so badly want
to share them with the world,

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but they don't

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for fear of being criticized
by people they don't even care about.

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I'll talk about my passion with anybody:

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some crowd at a party,

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the woman in line at the grocery store,
and you there in the back,

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whoever,

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because, if some stranger doesn't think
old kung fu movies are totally awesome,

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so what?

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I'm probably never
going to see them again,

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and it doesn't make me love them any less.

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But if that person is totally into
"The 36th Chamber of Shaolin,"

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then I just made a new best friend.

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So no matter what, I win.

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And so can you.

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The ultimate question here is
how do you introduce yourself?'

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That's tricky.

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You know me pretty well by now,

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but I've a good eight minutes
to tell you who I am.

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How do you convey all of that
in a single sentence

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And that's something
you have to figure out for yourself,

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and I challenge you to do it.

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But I know that it helps
to have an example to inspire you

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so allow me to close with my introduction,

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"Hello, my name is Kevin Bahler,
and I love it when people are truly happy.

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Thank you.

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(Applause)