0:00:00.644,0:00:02.420
I'm a professional troublemaker.

0:00:02.444,0:00:03.809
(Laughter)

0:00:04.349,0:00:09.229
As my job is to critique the world,

0:00:10.058,0:00:13.245
the shoddy systems and the people[br]who refuse to do better,

0:00:13.991,0:00:17.166
as a writer, as a speaker,[br]as a shady Nigerian --

0:00:17.190,0:00:18.215
(Laughter)

0:00:18.239,0:00:22.220
I feel like my purpose is to be this cat.

0:00:22.244,0:00:24.395
(Laughter)

0:00:24.419,0:00:27.075
I am the person[br]who is looking at other people,

0:00:27.099,0:00:28.663
like, "I need you to fix it."

0:00:29.331,0:00:30.486
That is me.

0:00:30.510,0:00:34.691
I want us to leave this world[br]better than we found it.

0:00:35.234,0:00:38.000
And how I choose to effect change

0:00:38.024,0:00:39.437
is by speaking up,

0:00:39.461,0:00:41.845
by being the first[br]and by being the domino.

0:00:43.245,0:00:45.299
For a line of dominoes to fall,

0:00:45.323,0:00:47.564
one has to fall first,

0:00:47.588,0:00:50.453
which then leaves the other[br]choiceless to do the same.

0:00:51.237,0:00:52.839
And that domino that falls,

0:00:52.863,0:00:55.121
we're hoping that, OK,

0:00:55.145,0:00:58.597
the next person that sees this[br]is inspired to be a domino.

0:01:00.115,0:01:03.303
Being the domino, for me,[br]looks like speaking up

0:01:03.327,0:01:05.564
and doing the things[br]that are really difficult,

0:01:05.588,0:01:07.683
especially when they are needed,

0:01:07.707,0:01:10.069
with the hope that others[br]will follow suit.

0:01:11.041,0:01:13.600
And here's the thing:[br]I'm the person who says

0:01:13.624,0:01:17.081
what you might be thinking[br]but dared not to say.

0:01:17.105,0:01:19.872
A lot of times people think[br]that we're fearless,

0:01:19.896,0:01:21.874
the people who do this, we're fearless.

0:01:21.898,0:01:23.056
We're not fearless.

0:01:23.080,0:01:25.554
We're not unafraid of the consequences

0:01:25.578,0:01:27.788
or the sacrifices that we have to make

0:01:27.812,0:01:29.808
by speaking truth to power.

0:01:29.832,0:01:32.031
What happens is, we feel like we have to,

0:01:32.055,0:01:34.658
because there are too few[br]people in the world

0:01:34.682,0:01:36.309
willing to be the domino,

0:01:36.333,0:01:38.691
too few people willing to take that fall.

0:01:38.715,0:01:40.437
We're not doing it without fear.

0:01:40.461,0:01:41.833
Now, let's talk about fear.

0:01:42.406,0:01:44.741
I knew exactly what I wanted[br]to be when I grew up.

0:01:44.765,0:01:46.703
I was like, "I'm going to be a doctor!"

0:01:46.727,0:01:48.289
Doctor Luvvie was the dream.

0:01:48.876,0:01:51.129
I was Doc McStuffins[br]before it was a thing.

0:01:51.153,0:01:52.352
(Laughter)

0:01:52.376,0:01:54.583
And I remember when I went to college,

0:01:54.607,0:01:58.313
my freshman year,[br]I had to take Chemistry 101

0:01:58.337,0:01:59.726
for my premed major.

0:02:01.115,0:02:04.183
I got the first and last D[br]of my academic career.

0:02:04.207,0:02:05.881
(Laughter)

0:02:05.905,0:02:08.477
So I went to my advisor, and I was like,

0:02:08.501,0:02:10.755
"OK, let's drop the premed,

0:02:10.779,0:02:13.002
because this doctor thing[br]is not going to work,

0:02:13.026,0:02:14.770
because I don't even like hospitals.

0:02:14.794,0:02:15.945
So ..."

0:02:15.969,0:02:17.000
(Laughter)

0:02:17.024,0:02:19.152
"Let's just consider that done for."

0:02:19.728,0:02:22.148
And that same semester,[br]I started blogging.

0:02:22.172,0:02:23.601
That was 2003.

0:02:23.625,0:02:26.484
So as that one dream was ending,[br]another was beginning.

0:02:26.508,0:02:30.077
And then what was a cute hobby[br]became my full-time job

0:02:30.101,0:02:32.996
when I lost my marketing job in 2010.

0:02:33.020,0:02:36.394
But it still took me two more years[br]to say, "I'm a writer."

0:02:36.418,0:02:41.636
Nine years after I had started writing,[br]before I said, "I'm a writer,"

0:02:41.660,0:02:44.459
because I was afraid of what happens

0:02:44.483,0:02:46.499
without 401ks,

0:02:46.523,0:02:49.031
without, "How am I going[br]to keep up my shoe habit?

0:02:49.055,0:02:50.221
That's important to me."

0:02:50.245,0:02:51.364
(Laughter)

0:02:51.388,0:02:54.383
So it took me that long to own this thing

0:02:54.407,0:02:56.041
that was what my purpose was.

0:02:56.065,0:02:57.500
And then I realized,

0:02:57.524,0:02:59.834
fear has a very concrete power

0:02:59.858,0:03:04.050
of keeping us from doing and saying[br]the things that are our purpose.

0:03:04.822,0:03:06.496
And I was like, "You know what?

0:03:06.520,0:03:09.122
I'm not going to let fear rule my life.

0:03:09.146,0:03:12.568
I'm not going to let fear[br]dictate what I do."

0:03:12.592,0:03:15.576
And then all of these[br]awesome things started happening,

0:03:15.600,0:03:17.179
and dominoes started to fall.

0:03:17.850,0:03:20.529
So when I realized that,[br]I was like, "OK, 2015,

0:03:20.553,0:03:21.818
I turned 30,

0:03:21.842,0:03:24.030
it's going to be my year[br]of 'Do it anyway.'

0:03:24.054,0:03:27.079
Anything that scares me,[br]I'm going to actively pursue it."

0:03:27.667,0:03:29.857
So, I'm a Capricorn.

0:03:29.881,0:03:32.003
I like my feel solidly on the ground.

0:03:33.171,0:03:36.022
I decided to take[br]my first-ever solo vacation,

0:03:36.046,0:03:38.827
and it was out of the country[br]to the Dominican Republic.

0:03:39.827,0:03:42.422
So on my birthday, what did I do?

0:03:42.446,0:03:44.911
I went ziplining through[br]the forests of Punta Cana.

0:03:45.681,0:03:48.093
And for some odd reason,[br]I had on business casual.

0:03:48.117,0:03:49.299
Don't ask why.

0:03:49.323,0:03:51.525
(Laughter)

0:03:51.549,0:03:53.403
And I had an incredible time.

0:03:53.427,0:03:55.563
Also, I don't like being[br]submerged in water.

0:03:55.587,0:03:57.941
I like to be, again, on solid ground.

0:03:57.965,0:04:02.511
So I went to Mexico[br]and swam with dolphins underwater.

0:04:03.240,0:04:05.632
And then the cool thing[br]that I did also that year

0:04:05.656,0:04:07.745
that was my mountain

0:04:07.769,0:04:09.659
was I wrote my book,

0:04:09.683,0:04:11.735
"I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual,"

0:04:11.759,0:04:12.912
And I had to own --

0:04:12.936,0:04:13.950
(Applause)

0:04:13.974,0:04:15.771
that whole writing thing now, right?

0:04:15.795,0:04:17.038
Yes.

0:04:17.062,0:04:20.090
But the very anti-me thing[br]that I did that year

0:04:20.114,0:04:21.906
that scared the crap out of me --

0:04:22.906,0:04:24.410
I went skydiving.

0:04:25.539,0:04:27.347
We're about to fall out of the plane.

0:04:27.371,0:04:30.831
I was like, "I've done some stupid[br]things in life. This is one of them."

0:04:30.855,0:04:31.858
(Laughter)

0:04:31.882,0:04:33.806
And then we come falling down to Earth,

0:04:33.830,0:04:37.073
and I literally lose my breath[br]as I see Earth, and I was like,

0:04:37.097,0:04:39.747
"I just fell out of a perfectly good[br]plane on purpose."

0:04:39.771,0:04:40.795
(Laughter)

0:04:40.819,0:04:42.261
"What is wrong with me?!"

0:04:42.285,0:04:44.201
But then I looked down at the beauty,

0:04:44.225,0:04:46.975
and I was like, "This is[br]the best thing I could have done.

0:04:46.999,0:04:49.232
This was an amazing decision."

0:04:49.256,0:04:52.105
And I think about the times[br]when I have to speak truth.

0:04:52.129,0:04:55.440
It feels like I am falling[br]out of that plane.

0:04:55.464,0:04:58.319
It feels like that moment[br]when I'm at the edge of the plane,

0:04:58.343,0:05:00.206
and I'm like, "You shouldn't do this,"

0:05:00.230,0:05:02.868
but then I do it anyway,[br]because I realize I have to.

0:05:03.674,0:05:05.360
Sitting at the edge of that plane

0:05:05.384,0:05:08.178
and kind of staying on that plane[br]is comfort to me.

0:05:08.202,0:05:10.511
And I feel like every day[br]that I'm speaking truth

0:05:10.535,0:05:13.334
against institutions and people[br]who are bigger than me

0:05:13.358,0:05:15.687
and just forces that are[br]more powerful than me,

0:05:15.711,0:05:17.770
I feel like I'm falling out of that plane.

0:05:17.794,0:05:19.900
But I realize comfort is overrated.

0:05:19.924,0:05:22.634
Because being quiet is comfortable.

0:05:22.658,0:05:25.979
Keeping things the way[br]they've been is comfortable.

0:05:26.003,0:05:28.699
And all comfort has done[br]is maintain the status quo.

0:05:28.723,0:05:31.405
So we've got to get comfortable[br]with being uncomfortable

0:05:31.429,0:05:34.162
by speaking these hard truths[br]when they're necessary.

0:05:34.835,0:05:36.136
And I --

0:05:36.160,0:05:39.331
(Applause)

0:05:39.355,0:05:43.082
And for me, though, I realize[br]that I have to speak these truths,

0:05:43.106,0:05:45.055
because honesty is so important to me.

0:05:45.079,0:05:47.322
My integrity is something I hold dear.

0:05:47.346,0:05:49.887
Justice -- I don't think justice[br]should be an option.

0:05:49.911,0:05:51.391
We should always have justice.

0:05:51.415,0:05:54.753
Also, I believe in shea butter[br]as a core value, and --

0:05:54.777,0:05:56.075
(Laughter)

0:05:56.099,0:05:59.689
and I think the world would be better[br]if we were more moisturized.

0:06:00.483,0:06:03.295
But besides that, with these[br]as my core values,

0:06:03.319,0:06:04.594
I have to speak the truth.

0:06:04.618,0:06:06.473
I have no other choice in the matter.

0:06:06.497,0:06:08.890
But people like me,[br]the professional troublemakers,

0:06:08.914,0:06:12.213
should not be the only ones who are[br]committed to being these dominoes

0:06:12.237,0:06:13.974
who are always falling out of planes

0:06:13.998,0:06:15.933
or being the first one to take this hit.

0:06:15.957,0:06:18.286
People are so afraid[br]of these acute consequences,

0:06:18.310,0:06:21.362
not realizing that there are many times[br]when we walk in rooms

0:06:21.386,0:06:24.375
and we are some of the most[br]powerful people in those rooms --

0:06:24.399,0:06:27.162
we might be the second-most powerful,[br]third-most powerful.

0:06:27.186,0:06:30.043
And I firmly believe[br]that our job in those times

0:06:30.067,0:06:32.116
is to disrupt what is happening.

0:06:32.140,0:06:34.239
And then if we're not the most powerful,

0:06:34.263,0:06:36.489
if two more of us band together,

0:06:36.513,0:06:37.970
it makes us powerful.

0:06:37.994,0:06:40.457
It's like cosigning[br]the woman in the meeting,

0:06:40.481,0:06:43.376
you know, the woman[br]who can't seem to get her word out,

0:06:43.400,0:06:46.804
or just making sure that other person[br]who can't make a point

0:06:46.828,0:06:48.137
is being heard.

0:06:48.161,0:06:51.415
Our job is to make sure[br]they have room for that.

0:06:51.439,0:06:53.547
Everyone's well-being[br]is community business.

0:06:53.571,0:06:55.794
If we made that a point,[br]we'd understand that,

0:06:55.818,0:06:57.480
for the times when we need help,

0:06:57.504,0:06:59.455
we wouldn't have to look around so hard

0:06:59.479,0:07:01.815
if we made sure[br]we were somebody else's help.

0:07:02.313,0:07:04.083
And there are times when I feel like

0:07:04.107,0:07:08.127
I have taken very public[br]tumbles and falls,

0:07:08.151,0:07:10.832
like the time when I was asked[br]to speak at a conference,

0:07:10.856,0:07:13.849
and they wanted me to pay my way there.

0:07:14.341,0:07:15.704
And then I did some research

0:07:15.728,0:07:18.831
and found out the white men[br]who spoke there got compensated

0:07:18.855,0:07:20.752
and got their travel paid for.

0:07:20.776,0:07:23.800
The white women who spoke there[br]got their travel paid for.

0:07:23.824,0:07:28.106
The black women who spoke there were[br]expected to actually pay to speak there.

0:07:28.130,0:07:29.828
And I was like, "What do I do?"

0:07:30.417,0:07:33.158
And I knew that if I spoke up[br]about this publicly,

0:07:33.182,0:07:34.677
I could face financial loss.

0:07:35.159,0:07:38.175
But then I also understood[br]that my silence serves no one.

0:07:38.658,0:07:41.762
So I fearfully spoke up about it publicly,

0:07:41.786,0:07:44.405
and other women started[br]coming out to talk about,

0:07:44.429,0:07:46.981
"I, too, have faced[br]this type of pay inequality."

0:07:47.005,0:07:50.110
And it started a conversation[br]about discriminatory pay practices

0:07:50.134,0:07:52.649
that this conference was participating in.

0:07:52.673,0:07:55.065
I felt like I was the domino

0:07:55.089,0:07:57.812
the time I read a disturbing[br]memoir by a public figure

0:07:57.836,0:07:59.203
and wrote a piece about it.

0:07:59.651,0:08:03.148
I knew this person was more powerful[br]than me and could impact my career,

0:08:03.172,0:08:04.990
but I was like, "I've got to do this.

0:08:05.014,0:08:08.415
I've got to sit at the edge[br]of this plane," maybe for two hours.

0:08:08.439,0:08:10.878
And I did. And I pressed[br]"Publish," and I ran away.

0:08:10.902,0:08:11.939
(Laughter)

0:08:11.963,0:08:13.875
And I came back to a viral post

0:08:13.899,0:08:17.501
and people being like, "Oh my God,[br]I'm so glad somebody finally said this."

0:08:17.525,0:08:19.037
And it started a conversation

0:08:19.061,0:08:21.853
about mental health and self-care,

0:08:21.877,0:08:23.728
and I was like, "OK. Alright.

0:08:23.752,0:08:27.136
This thing that I'm doing,[br]I guess, alright, it's doing something."

0:08:27.160,0:08:30.580
And then so many people[br]have been the domino

0:08:31.422,0:08:35.760
when they talk about how[br]they've been assaulted by powerful men.

0:08:35.784,0:08:40.206
And it's made millions of women[br]join in and say, "Me Too."

0:08:40.230,0:08:43.086
So, a shout-out to Tarana Burke[br]for igniting that movement.

0:08:43.110,0:08:49.735
(Applause)

0:08:49.759,0:08:54.501
People and systems count on our silence[br]to keep us exactly where we are.

0:08:56.006,0:09:01.597
Now, being the domino sometimes[br]comes down to being exactly who you are.

0:09:02.241,0:09:05.175
So, I've been a shady somebody[br]since I was three.

0:09:05.199,0:09:06.278
(Laughter)

0:09:06.302,0:09:07.978
This is me on my third birthday.

0:09:08.923,0:09:11.267
But I've been this girl all my life,

0:09:11.291,0:09:13.360
and I feel like[br]even that's been the domino,

0:09:13.384,0:09:15.684
because in a world[br]that wants us to walk around

0:09:15.708,0:09:17.548
as representatives of ourselves,

0:09:17.572,0:09:19.832
being yourself can be a revolutionary act.

0:09:20.428,0:09:22.781
And in a world that wants us to whisper,

0:09:22.805,0:09:24.359
I choose to yell.

0:09:25.001,0:09:29.987
(Applause)

0:09:30.011,0:09:32.412
When it's time to say these hard things,

0:09:32.436,0:09:34.074
I ask myself three things.

0:09:34.098,0:09:35.937
One: Did you mean it?

0:09:36.509,0:09:38.626
Two: Can you defend it?

0:09:39.221,0:09:41.344
Three: Did you say it with love?

0:09:41.368,0:09:43.600
If the answer is yes to all three,

0:09:43.624,0:09:45.481
I say it and let the chips fall.

0:09:47.545,0:09:48.696
That's important.

0:09:48.720,0:09:50.245
That checkpoint with myself

0:09:50.269,0:09:52.975
always tells me, "Yes,[br]you're supposed to do this."

0:09:54.595,0:09:56.980
Telling the truth --[br]telling thoughtful truths --

0:09:57.004,0:09:58.788
should not be a revolutionary act.

0:10:00.267,0:10:03.624
Speaking truths to power[br]should not be sacrificial, but they are.

0:10:04.370,0:10:07.558
But I think if more of us chose[br]to do this for the greater good,

0:10:07.582,0:10:09.882
we'd be in better spaces[br]than we are right now.

0:10:11.259,0:10:12.789
Speaking of the greater good,

0:10:13.438,0:10:16.870
I think we commit ourselves[br]to telling truths to build bridges

0:10:16.894,0:10:18.371
to common ground,

0:10:18.395,0:10:21.607
and bridges that aren't based[br]on truth will collapse.

0:10:21.631,0:10:23.492
So it is our job,

0:10:23.516,0:10:26.844
it is our obligation, it is our duty

0:10:26.868,0:10:29.040
to speak truth to power, to be the domino,

0:10:29.883,0:10:31.502
not just when it's difficult --

0:10:31.526,0:10:33.515
especially when it's difficult.

0:10:33.539,0:10:34.733
Thank you.

0:10:34.757,0:10:40.906
(Applause)