WEBVTT 00:00:00.644 --> 00:00:02.420 I'm a professional troublemaker. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:02.444 --> 00:00:03.809 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:04.349 --> 00:00:09.229 As my job is to critique the world, 00:00:10.058 --> 00:00:13.245 the shoddy systems and the people who refuse to do better, 00:00:13.991 --> 00:00:17.166 as a writer, as a speaker, as a shady Nigerian -- NOTE Paragraph 00:00:17.190 --> 00:00:18.215 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:18.239 --> 00:00:22.220 I feel like my purpose is to be this cat. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:22.244 --> 00:00:24.395 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:24.419 --> 00:00:27.075 I am the person who is looking at other people, 00:00:27.099 --> 00:00:28.663 like, "I need you to fix it." 00:00:29.331 --> 00:00:30.486 That is me. 00:00:30.510 --> 00:00:34.691 I want us to leave this world better than we found it. 00:00:35.234 --> 00:00:38.000 And how I choose to effect change 00:00:38.024 --> 00:00:39.437 is by speaking up, 00:00:39.461 --> 00:00:41.845 by being the first and by being the domino. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:43.245 --> 00:00:45.299 For a line of dominoes to fall, 00:00:45.323 --> 00:00:47.564 one has to fall first, 00:00:47.588 --> 00:00:50.453 which then leaves the other choiceless to do the same. 00:00:51.237 --> 00:00:52.839 And that domino that falls, 00:00:52.863 --> 00:00:55.121 we're hoping that, OK, 00:00:55.145 --> 00:00:58.597 the next person that sees this is inspired to be a domino. 00:01:00.115 --> 00:01:03.303 Being the domino, for me, looks like speaking up 00:01:03.327 --> 00:01:05.564 and doing the things that are really difficult, 00:01:05.588 --> 00:01:07.683 especially when they are needed, 00:01:07.707 --> 00:01:10.069 with the hope that others will follow suit. 00:01:11.041 --> 00:01:13.600 And here's the thing: I'm the person who says 00:01:13.624 --> 00:01:17.081 what you might be thinking but dared not to say. 00:01:17.105 --> 00:01:19.872 A lot of times people think that we're fearless, 00:01:19.896 --> 00:01:21.874 the people who do this, we're fearless. 00:01:21.898 --> 00:01:23.056 We're not fearless. 00:01:23.080 --> 00:01:25.554 We're not unafraid of the consequences 00:01:25.578 --> 00:01:27.788 or the sacrifices that we have to make 00:01:27.812 --> 00:01:29.808 by speaking truth to power. 00:01:29.832 --> 00:01:32.031 What happens is, we feel like we have to, 00:01:32.055 --> 00:01:34.658 because there are too few people in the world 00:01:34.682 --> 00:01:36.309 willing to be the domino, 00:01:36.333 --> 00:01:38.691 too few people willing to take that fall. 00:01:38.715 --> 00:01:40.437 We're not doing it without fear. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:40.461 --> 00:01:41.833 Now, let's talk about fear. 00:01:42.406 --> 00:01:44.741 I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. 00:01:44.765 --> 00:01:46.703 I was like, "I'm going to be a doctor!" 00:01:46.727 --> 00:01:48.289 Doctor Luvvie was the dream. 00:01:48.876 --> 00:01:51.129 I was Doc McStuffins before it was a thing. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:51.153 --> 00:01:52.352 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:52.376 --> 00:01:54.583 And I remember when I went to college, 00:01:54.607 --> 00:01:58.313 my freshman year, I had to take Chemistry 101 00:01:58.337 --> 00:01:59.726 for my premed major. 00:02:01.115 --> 00:02:04.183 I got the first and last D of my academic career. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:04.207 --> 00:02:05.881 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:05.905 --> 00:02:08.477 So I went to my advisor, and I was like, 00:02:08.501 --> 00:02:10.755 "OK, let's drop the premed, 00:02:10.779 --> 00:02:13.002 because this doctor thing is not going to work, 00:02:13.026 --> 00:02:14.770 because I don't even like hospitals. 00:02:14.794 --> 00:02:15.945 So ..." NOTE Paragraph 00:02:15.969 --> 00:02:17.000 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:17.024 --> 00:02:19.152 "Let's just consider that done for." 00:02:19.728 --> 00:02:22.148 And that same semester, I started blogging. 00:02:22.172 --> 00:02:23.601 That was 2003. 00:02:23.625 --> 00:02:26.484 So as that one dream was ending, another was beginning. 00:02:26.508 --> 00:02:30.077 And then what was a cute hobby became my full-time job 00:02:30.101 --> 00:02:32.996 when I lost my marketing job in 2010. 00:02:33.020 --> 00:02:36.394 But it still took me two more years to say, "I'm a writer." 00:02:36.418 --> 00:02:41.636 Nine years after I had started writing, before I said, "I'm a writer," 00:02:41.660 --> 00:02:44.459 because I was afraid of what happens 00:02:44.483 --> 00:02:46.499 without 401ks, 00:02:46.523 --> 00:02:49.031 without, "How am I going to keep up my shoe habit? 00:02:49.055 --> 00:02:50.221 That's important to me." NOTE Paragraph 00:02:50.245 --> 00:02:51.364 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:51.388 --> 00:02:54.383 So it took me that long to own this thing 00:02:54.407 --> 00:02:56.041 that was what my purpose was. 00:02:56.065 --> 00:02:57.500 And then I realized, 00:02:57.524 --> 00:02:59.834 fear has a very concrete power 00:02:59.858 --> 00:03:04.050 of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are our purpose. 00:03:04.822 --> 00:03:06.496 And I was like, "You know what? 00:03:06.520 --> 00:03:09.122 I'm not going to let fear rule my life. 00:03:09.146 --> 00:03:12.568 I'm not going to let fear dictate what I do." 00:03:12.592 --> 00:03:15.576 And then all of these awesome things started happening, 00:03:15.600 --> 00:03:17.179 and dominoes started to fall. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:17.850 --> 00:03:20.529 So when I realized that, I was like, "OK, 2015, 00:03:20.553 --> 00:03:21.818 I turned 30, 00:03:21.842 --> 00:03:24.030 it's going to be my year of 'Do it anyway.' 00:03:24.054 --> 00:03:27.079 Anything that scares me, I'm going to actively pursue it." 00:03:27.667 --> 00:03:29.857 So, I'm a Capricorn. 00:03:29.881 --> 00:03:32.003 I like my feel solidly on the ground. 00:03:33.171 --> 00:03:36.022 I decided to take my first-ever solo vacation, 00:03:36.046 --> 00:03:38.827 and it was out of the country to the Dominican Republic. 00:03:39.827 --> 00:03:42.422 So on my birthday, what did I do? 00:03:42.446 --> 00:03:44.911 I went ziplining through the forests of Punta Cana. 00:03:45.681 --> 00:03:48.093 And for some odd reason, I had on business casual. 00:03:48.117 --> 00:03:49.299 Don't ask why. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:49.323 --> 00:03:51.525 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:51.549 --> 00:03:53.403 And I had an incredible time. 00:03:53.427 --> 00:03:55.563 Also, I don't like being submerged in water. 00:03:55.587 --> 00:03:57.941 I like to be, again, on solid ground. 00:03:57.965 --> 00:04:02.511 So I went to Mexico and swam with dolphins underwater. 00:04:03.240 --> 00:04:05.632 And then the cool thing that I did also that year 00:04:05.656 --> 00:04:07.745 that was my mountain 00:04:07.769 --> 00:04:09.659 was I wrote my book, 00:04:09.683 --> 00:04:11.735 "I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual," 00:04:11.759 --> 00:04:12.912 And I had to own -- NOTE Paragraph 00:04:12.936 --> 00:04:13.950 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:13.974 --> 00:04:15.771 that whole writing thing now, right? 00:04:15.795 --> 00:04:17.038 Yes. 00:04:17.062 --> 00:04:20.090 But the very anti-me thing that I did that year 00:04:20.114 --> 00:04:21.906 that scared the crap out of me -- 00:04:22.906 --> 00:04:24.410 I went skydiving. 00:04:25.539 --> 00:04:27.347 We're about to fall out of the plane. 00:04:27.371 --> 00:04:30.831 I was like, "I've done some stupid things in life. This is one of them." NOTE Paragraph 00:04:30.855 --> 00:04:31.858 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:31.882 --> 00:04:33.806 And then we come falling down to Earth, 00:04:33.830 --> 00:04:37.073 and I literally lose my breath as I see Earth, and I was like, 00:04:37.097 --> 00:04:39.747 "I just fell out of a perfectly good plane on purpose." NOTE Paragraph 00:04:39.771 --> 00:04:40.795 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:40.819 --> 00:04:42.261 "What is wrong with me?!" 00:04:42.285 --> 00:04:44.201 But then I looked down at the beauty, 00:04:44.225 --> 00:04:46.975 and I was like, "This is the best thing I could have done. 00:04:46.999 --> 00:04:49.232 This was an amazing decision." 00:04:49.256 --> 00:04:52.105 And I think about the times when I have to speak truth. 00:04:52.129 --> 00:04:55.440 It feels like I am falling out of that plane. 00:04:55.464 --> 00:04:58.319 It feels like that moment when I'm at the edge of the plane, 00:04:58.343 --> 00:05:00.206 and I'm like, "You shouldn't do this," 00:05:00.230 --> 00:05:02.868 but then I do it anyway, because I realize I have to. 00:05:03.674 --> 00:05:05.360 Sitting at the edge of that plane 00:05:05.384 --> 00:05:08.178 and kind of staying on that plane is comfort to me. 00:05:08.202 --> 00:05:10.511 And I feel like every day that I'm speaking truth 00:05:10.535 --> 00:05:13.334 against institutions and people who are bigger than me 00:05:13.358 --> 00:05:15.687 and just forces that are more powerful than me, 00:05:15.711 --> 00:05:17.770 I feel like I'm falling out of that plane. 00:05:17.794 --> 00:05:19.900 But I realize comfort is overrated. 00:05:19.924 --> 00:05:22.634 Because being quiet is comfortable. 00:05:22.658 --> 00:05:25.979 Keeping things the way they've been is comfortable. 00:05:26.003 --> 00:05:28.699 And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo. 00:05:28.723 --> 00:05:31.405 So we've got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable 00:05:31.429 --> 00:05:34.162 by speaking these hard truths when they're necessary. 00:05:34.835 --> 00:05:36.136 And I -- NOTE Paragraph 00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:39.331 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:39.355 --> 00:05:43.082 And for me, though, I realize that I have to speak these truths, 00:05:43.106 --> 00:05:45.055 because honesty is so important to me. 00:05:45.079 --> 00:05:47.322 My integrity is something I hold dear. 00:05:47.346 --> 00:05:49.887 Justice -- I don't think justice should be an option. 00:05:49.911 --> 00:05:51.391 We should always have justice. 00:05:51.415 --> 00:05:54.753 Also, I believe in shea butter as a core value, and -- NOTE Paragraph 00:05:54.777 --> 00:05:56.075 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:56.099 --> 00:05:59.689 and I think the world would be better if we were more moisturized. 00:06:00.483 --> 00:06:03.295 But besides that, with these as my core values, 00:06:03.319 --> 00:06:04.594 I have to speak the truth. 00:06:04.618 --> 00:06:06.473 I have no other choice in the matter. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:06.497 --> 00:06:08.890 But people like me, the professional troublemakers, 00:06:08.914 --> 00:06:12.213 should not be the only ones who are committed to being these dominoes 00:06:12.237 --> 00:06:13.974 who are always falling out of planes 00:06:13.998 --> 00:06:15.933 or being the first one to take this hit. 00:06:15.957 --> 00:06:18.286 People are so afraid of these acute consequences, 00:06:18.310 --> 00:06:21.362 not realizing that there are many times when we walk in rooms 00:06:21.386 --> 00:06:24.375 and we are some of the most powerful people in those rooms -- 00:06:24.399 --> 00:06:27.162 we might be the second-most powerful, third-most powerful. 00:06:27.186 --> 00:06:30.043 And I firmly believe that our job in those times 00:06:30.067 --> 00:06:32.116 is to disrupt what is happening. 00:06:32.140 --> 00:06:34.239 And then if we're not the most powerful, 00:06:34.263 --> 00:06:36.489 if two more of us band together, 00:06:36.513 --> 00:06:37.970 it makes us powerful. 00:06:37.994 --> 00:06:40.457 It's like cosigning the woman in the meeting, 00:06:40.481 --> 00:06:43.376 you know, the woman who can't seem to get her word out, 00:06:43.400 --> 00:06:46.804 or just making sure that other person who can't make a point 00:06:46.828 --> 00:06:48.137 is being heard. 00:06:48.161 --> 00:06:51.415 Our job is to make sure they have room for that. 00:06:51.439 --> 00:06:53.547 Everyone's well-being is community business. 00:06:53.571 --> 00:06:55.794 If we made that a point, we're understand that, 00:06:55.818 --> 00:06:57.480 for the times when we need help, 00:06:57.504 --> 00:06:59.455 we wouldn't have to look around so hard 00:06:59.479 --> 00:07:01.815 if we made sure we were somebody else's help. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:02.313 --> 00:07:04.083 And there are times when I feel like 00:07:04.107 --> 00:07:08.127 I have taken very public tumbles and falls, 00:07:08.151 --> 00:07:10.832 like the time when I was asked to speak at a conference, 00:07:10.856 --> 00:07:13.849 and they wanted me to pay my way there. 00:07:14.341 --> 00:07:15.704 And then I did some research 00:07:15.728 --> 00:07:18.831 and found out the white men who spoke there got compensated 00:07:18.855 --> 00:07:20.752 and got their travel paid for. 00:07:20.776 --> 00:07:23.800 The white women who spoke there got their travel paid for. 00:07:23.824 --> 00:07:28.106 The black women who spoke there were expected to actually pay to speak there. 00:07:28.130 --> 00:07:29.828 And I was like, "What do I do?" 00:07:30.417 --> 00:07:33.158 And I knew that if I spoke up about this publicly, 00:07:33.182 --> 00:07:34.677 I could face financial loss. 00:07:35.159 --> 00:07:38.175 But then I also understood that my silence serves no one. 00:07:38.658 --> 00:07:41.762 So I fearfully spoke up about it publicly, 00:07:41.786 --> 00:07:44.405 and other women started coming out to talk about, 00:07:44.429 --> 00:07:46.981 "I, too, have faced this type of pay inequality." 00:07:47.005 --> 00:07:50.110 And it started a conversation about discriminatory pay practices 00:07:50.134 --> 00:07:52.649 that this conference was participating in. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:52.673 --> 00:07:55.065 I felt like I was the domino 00:07:55.089 --> 00:07:57.812 the time I read a disturbing memoir by a public figure 00:07:57.836 --> 00:07:59.203 and wrote a piece about it. 00:07:59.651 --> 00:08:03.148 I knew this person was more powerful than me and could impact my career, 00:08:03.172 --> 00:08:04.990 but I was like, "I've got to do this. 00:08:05.014 --> 00:08:08.415 I've got to sit at the edge of this plane, maybe for two hours." 00:08:08.439 --> 00:08:10.878 And I did. And I pressed "Publish," and I ran away. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:10.902 --> 00:08:11.939 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:11.963 --> 00:08:13.875 And I came back to a viral post 00:08:13.899 --> 00:08:17.501 and people being like, "Oh my God, I'm so glad somebody finally said this." 00:08:17.525 --> 00:08:19.037 And it started a conversation 00:08:19.061 --> 00:08:21.853 about mental health and self-care, 00:08:21.877 --> 00:08:23.728 and I was like, "OK. Alright. 00:08:23.752 --> 00:08:27.136 This thing that I'm doing, I guess, alright, it's doing something." NOTE Paragraph 00:08:27.160 --> 00:08:30.580 And then so many people have been the domino 00:08:31.422 --> 00:08:35.760 when they talk about how they've been assaulted by powerful men. 00:08:35.784 --> 00:08:40.206 And it's made millions of women join in and say, "Me Too." 00:08:40.230 --> 00:08:43.086 So, a shout-out to Tarana Burke for igniting that movement. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:43.110 --> 00:08:49.735 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:49.759 --> 00:08:54.501 People and systems count on our silence to keep us exactly where we are. 00:08:56.006 --> 00:09:01.597 Now, being the domino sometimes comes down to being exactly who you are. 00:09:02.241 --> 00:09:05.175 So, I've been a shady somebody since I was three. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:05.199 --> 00:09:06.278 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:06.302 --> 00:09:07.978 This is me on my third birthday. 00:09:08.923 --> 00:09:11.267 But I've been this girl all my life, 00:09:11.291 --> 00:09:13.360 and I feel like even that's been the domino, 00:09:13.384 --> 00:09:15.684 because in a world that wants us to walk around 00:09:15.708 --> 00:09:17.548 as representatives of ourselves, 00:09:17.572 --> 00:09:19.832 being yourself can be a revolutionary act. 00:09:20.428 --> 00:09:22.781 And in a world that wants us to whisper, 00:09:22.805 --> 00:09:24.359 I choose to yell. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:25.001 --> 00:09:29.987 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:30.011 --> 00:09:32.412 When it's time to say these hard things, 00:09:32.436 --> 00:09:34.074 I ask myself three things. 00:09:34.098 --> 00:09:35.937 One: Did you mean it? 00:09:36.509 --> 00:09:38.626 Two: Can you defend it? 00:09:39.221 --> 00:09:41.344 Three: Did you say it with love? 00:09:41.368 --> 00:09:43.600 If the answer is yes to all three, 00:09:43.624 --> 00:09:45.481 I say it and let the chips fall. 00:09:47.545 --> 00:09:48.696 That's important. 00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:50.245 That checkpoint with myself 00:09:50.269 --> 00:09:52.975 always tells me, "Yes, you're supposed to do this." 00:09:54.595 --> 00:09:56.980 Telling the truth -- telling thoughtful truths -- 00:09:57.004 --> 00:09:58.788 should not be a revolutionary act. 00:10:00.267 --> 00:10:03.624 Speaking truths to power should not be sacrificial, but they are. 00:10:04.370 --> 00:10:07.558 But I think if more of us chose to do this for the greater good, 00:10:07.582 --> 00:10:09.882 we'd be in better spaces than we are right now. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:11.259 --> 00:10:12.789 Speaking of the greater good, 00:10:13.438 --> 00:10:16.870 I think we commit ourselves to telling truths to build bridges 00:10:16.894 --> 00:10:18.371 to common ground, 00:10:18.395 --> 00:10:21.607 and bridges that aren't based on truth will collapse. 00:10:21.631 --> 00:10:23.492 So it is our job, 00:10:23.516 --> 00:10:26.844 it is our obligation, it is our duty 00:10:26.868 --> 00:10:29.040 to speak truth to power, to be the domino, 00:10:29.883 --> 00:10:31.502 not just when it's difficult -- 00:10:31.526 --> 00:10:33.515 especially when it's difficult. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:33.539 --> 00:10:34.733 Thank you. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:34.757 --> 00:10:40.906 (Applause)