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I'm a professional troublemaker.

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(Laughter)

3
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As my job is to critique the world,

4
00:00:10,058 --> 00:00:13,245
the shoddy systems and the people
who refuse to do better,

5
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as a writer, as a speaker,
as a shady Nigerian --

6
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(Laughter)

7
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I feel like my purpose is to be this cat.

8
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(Laughter)

9
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I am the person
who is looking at other people,

10
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like, "I need you to fix it."

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That is me.

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I want us to leave this world
better than we found it.

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And how I choose to effect change

14
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is by speaking up,

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by being the first
and by being the domino.

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For a line of dominoes to fall,

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one has to fall first,

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which then leaves the other
choiceless to do the same.

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And that domino that falls,

20
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we're hoping that, OK,

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the next person that sees this
is inspired to be a domino.

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Being the domino, for me,
looks like speaking up

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and doing the things
that are really difficult,

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especially when they are needed,

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with the hope that others
will follow suit.

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And here's the thing:
I'm the person who says

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what you might be thinking
but dared not to say.

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A lot of times people think
that we're fearless,

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the people who do this, we're fearless.

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We're not fearless.

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We're not unafraid of the consequences

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or the sacrifices that we have to make

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by speaking truth to power.

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What happens is, we feel like we have to,

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because there are too few
people in the world

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willing to be the domino,

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too few people willing to take that fall.

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We're not doing it without fear.

39
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Now, let's talk about fear.

40
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I knew exactly what I wanted
to be when I grew up.

41
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I was like, "I'm going to be a doctor!"

42
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Doctor Luvvie was the dream.

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I was Doc McStuffins
before it was a thing.

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(Laughter)

45
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And I remember when I went to college,

46
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my freshman year,
I had to take Chemistry 101

47
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for my premed major.

48
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I got the first and last D
of my academic career.

49
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(Laughter)

50
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So I went to my advisor, and I was like,

51
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"OK, let's drop the premed,

52
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because this doctor thing
is not going to work,

53
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because I don't even like hospitals.

54
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So ..."

55
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(Laughter)

56
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"Let's just consider that done for."

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And that same semester,
I started blogging.

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That was 2003.

59
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So as that one dream was ending,
another was beginning.

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And then what was a cute hobby
became my full-time job

61
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when I lost my marketing job in 2010.

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But it still took me two more years
to say, "I'm a writer."

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Nine years after I had started writing,
before I said, "I'm a writer,"

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because I was afraid of what happens

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without 401ks,

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without, "How am I going
to keep up my shoe habit?

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That's important to me."

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(Laughter)

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So it took me that long to own this thing

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that was what my purpose was.

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And then I realized,

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fear has a very concrete power

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of keeping us from doing and saying
the things that are our purpose.

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And I was like, "You know what?

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I'm not going to let fear rule my life.

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I'm not going to let fear
dictate what I do."

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And then all of these
awesome things started happening,

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and dominoes started to fall.

79
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So when I realized that,
I was like, "OK, 2015,

80
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I turned 30,

81
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it's going to be my year
of 'Do it anyway.'

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Anything that scares me,
I'm going to actively pursue it."

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So, I'm a Capricorn.

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I like my feel solidly on the ground.

85
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I decided to take
my first-ever solo vacation,

86
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and it was out of the country
to the Dominican Republic.

87
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So on my birthday, what did I do?

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I went ziplining through
the forests of Punta Cana.

89
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And for some odd reason,
I had on business casual.

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Don't ask why.

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(Laughter)

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And I had an incredible time.

93
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Also, I don't like being
submerged in water.

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I like to be, again, on solid ground.

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So I went to Mexico
and swam with dolphins underwater.

96
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And then the cool thing
that I did also that year

97
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that was my mountain

98
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was I wrote my book,

99
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"I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual,"

100
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And I had to own --

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(Applause)

102
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that whole writing thing now, right?

103
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Yes.

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But the very anti-me thing
that I did that year

105
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that scared the crap out of me --

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I went skydiving.

107
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We're about to fall out of the plane.

108
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I was like, "I've done some stupid
things in life. This is one of them."

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(Laughter)

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And then we come falling down to Earth,

111
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and I literally lose my breath
as I see Earth, and I was like,

112
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"I just fell out of a perfectly good
plane on purpose."

113
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(Laughter)

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"What is wrong with me?!"

115
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But then I looked down at the beauty,

116
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and I was like, "This is
the best thing I could have done.

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This was an amazing decision."

118
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And I think about the times
when I have to speak truth.

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It feels like I am falling
out of that plane.

120
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It feels like that moment
when I'm at the edge of the plane,

121
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and I'm like, "You shouldn't do this,"

122
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but then I do it anyway,
because I realize I have to.

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Sitting at the edge of that plane

124
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and kind of staying on that plane
is comfort to me.

125
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And I feel like every day
that I'm speaking truth

126
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against institutions and people
who are bigger than me

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and just forces that are
more powerful than me,

128
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I feel like I'm falling out of that plane.

129
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But I realize comfort is overrated.

130
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Because being quiet is comfortable.

131
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Keeping things the way
they've been is comfortable.

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And all comfort has done
is maintain the status quo.

133
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So we've got to get comfortable
with being uncomfortable

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by speaking these hard truths
when they're necessary.

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And I --

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(Applause)

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And for me, though, I realize
that I have to speak these truths,

138
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because honesty is so important to me.

139
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My integrity is something I hold dear.

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Justice -- I don't think justice
should be an option.

141
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We should always have justice.

142
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Also, I believe in shea butter
as a core value, and --

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(Laughter)

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and I think the world would be better
if we were more moisturized.

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But besides that, with these
as my core values,

146
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I have to speak the truth.

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I have no other choice in the matter.

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But people like me,
the professional troublemakers,

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should not be the only ones who are
committed to being these dominoes

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who are always falling out of planes

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or being the first one to take this hit.

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People are so afraid
of these acute consequences,

153
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not realizing that there are many times
when we walk in rooms

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and we are some of the most
powerful people in those rooms --

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we might be the second-most powerful,
third-most powerful.

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And I firmly believe
that our job in those times

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is to disrupt what is happening.

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And then if we're not the most powerful,

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if two more of us band together,

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it makes us powerful.

161
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It's like cosigning
the woman in the meeting,

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you know, the woman
who can't seem to get her word out,

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or just making sure that other person
who can't make a point

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is being heard.

165
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Our job is to make sure
they have room for that.

166
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Everyone's well-being
is community business.

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If we made that a point,
we're understand that,

168
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for the times when we need help,

169
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we wouldn't have to look around so hard

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if we made sure
we were somebody else's help.

171
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And there are times when I feel like

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I have taken very public
tumbles and falls,

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like the time when I was asked
to speak at a conference,

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and they wanted me to pay my way there.

175
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And then I did some research

176
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and found out the white men
who spoke there got compensated

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and got their travel paid for.

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The white women who spoke there
got their travel paid for.

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The black women who spoke there were
expected to actually pay to speak there.

180
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And I was like, "What do I do?"

181
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And I knew that if I spoke up
about this publicly,

182
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I could face financial loss.

183
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But then I also understood
that my silence serves no one.

184
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So I fearfully spoke up about it publicly,

185
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and other women started
coming out to talk about,

186
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"I, too, have faced
this type of pay inequality."

187
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And it started a conversation
about discriminatory pay practices

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that this conference was participating in.

189
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I felt like I was the domino

190
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the time I read a disturbing
memoir by a public figure

191
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and wrote a piece about it.

192
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I knew this person was more powerful
than me and could impact my career,

193
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but I was like, "I've got to do this.

194
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I've got to sit at the edge of this plane,
maybe for two hours."

195
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And I did. And I pressed
"Publish," and I ran away.

196
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(Laughter)

197
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And I came back to a viral post

198
00:08:13,899 --> 00:08:17,501
and people being like, "Oh my God,
I'm so glad somebody finally said this."

199
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And it started a conversation

200
00:08:19,061 --> 00:08:21,853
about mental health and self-care,

201
00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:23,728
and I was like, "OK. Alright.

202
00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:27,136
This thing that I'm doing,
I guess, alright, it's doing something."

203
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,580
And then so many people
have been the domino

204
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when they talk about how
they've been assaulted by powerful men.

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And it's made millions of women
join in and say, "Me Too."

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So, a shout-out to Tarana Burke
for igniting that movement.

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(Applause)

208
00:08:49,759 --> 00:08:54,501
People and systems count on our silence
to keep us exactly where we are.

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Now, being the domino sometimes
comes down to being exactly who you are.

210
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So, I've been a shady somebody
since I was three.

211
00:09:05,199 --> 00:09:06,278
(Laughter)

212
00:09:06,302 --> 00:09:07,978
This is me on my third birthday.

213
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,267
But I've been this girl all my life,

214
00:09:11,291 --> 00:09:13,360
and I feel like
even that's been the domino,

215
00:09:13,384 --> 00:09:15,684
because in a world
that wants us to walk around

216
00:09:15,708 --> 00:09:17,548
as representatives of ourselves,

217
00:09:17,572 --> 00:09:19,832
being yourself can be a revolutionary act.

218
00:09:20,428 --> 00:09:22,781
And in a world that wants us to whisper,

219
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I choose to yell.

220
00:09:25,001 --> 00:09:29,987
(Applause)

221
00:09:30,011 --> 00:09:32,412
When it's time to say these hard things,

222
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I ask myself three things.

223
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One: Did you mean it?

224
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Two: Can you defend it?

225
00:09:39,221 --> 00:09:41,344
Three: Did you say it with love?

226
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If the answer is yes to all three,

227
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I say it and let the chips fall.

228
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That's important.

229
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That checkpoint with myself

230
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always tells me, "Yes,
you're supposed to do this."

231
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Telling the truth --
telling thoughtful truths --

232
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should not be a revolutionary act.

233
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:03,624
Speaking truths to power
should not be sacrificial, but they are.

234
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:07,558
But I think if more of us chose
to do this for the greater good,

235
00:10:07,582 --> 00:10:09,882
we'd be in better spaces
than we are right now.

236
00:10:11,259 --> 00:10:12,789
Speaking of the greater good,

237
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I think we commit ourselves
to telling truths to build bridges

238
00:10:16,894 --> 00:10:18,371
to common ground,

239
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and bridges that aren't based
on truth will collapse.

240
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So it is our job,

241
00:10:23,516 --> 00:10:26,844
it is our obligation, it is our duty

242
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to speak truth to power, to be the domino,

243
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not just when it's difficult --

244
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especially when it's difficult.

245
00:10:33,539 --> 00:10:34,733
Thank you.

246
00:10:34,757 --> 00:10:40,906
(Applause)