Season 1 Episode 2: "The Maid"
- All right Federica, concentrate, you won't fail, you can do this.
- Federica, instead of forcing him to guess, just tell him you need a maid.
- C'mon Martina! If blackmails, tears and hints were not an effective tool for women
there wouldn't be any bad girls in the soap operas
- It's so late now! I need to leave
- Shoot! Shoot you idiot!
- Now's the time Federica
- Move! Move!
- Sorry! I have so many things to do
If only I could get some help...
- Honey, you should have said that before
- So you do get my hint?
- No, but you should have said it before 'cause now we're watching the match and you're interrupting!
- You see? You never have time for me, not even 5 minutes.
- Just wait for the break and you'll get 15 minutes
- You always ignore me
- Sorry honey, but you're interrupting in the middle of the match
- It's over now, its halftime
- But I need to watch the summary of the goals I already watched
- I need a maid to clean up so much filth!!
are you listening?? Otherwise I'll call my mom to come!
- So our filth is not enough for you? You need to bring your mother, too?
- I'll call her to help me with the house cleaning, you horse face!
and don't insult my mother! Have I ever told you your mom
is a chicken that laid only one ball??
- Excuse me but I have two! Two of my kids are present here
and I don't want to argue in front of them!
Let's cool down, shall we?
- You're right. Look, I'm so cool and calm now, you see?
- Ludovico, please I need a maid to help with the house chores.
you hear me stingy donkey??
- Look, let's not argue, the second half is starting now. Let's discuss about it later.
- Either you give me an answer right now or...
- Or what?? Are you going to turn the TV off?? You wouldn't dare!
- No, but I'll pause the video recorder until you give me an answer!
- No, no! Wait 'till it's over
- You've seen it 8 times already!
- But maybe this time the Cruz Azul team will win
- So??
- All right! But you must hire her by tomorrow evening
or there's no deal!
- Yes!
At the Office
- So, then I told her: "why don't you hire a maid to help you with the house chores?"
- What did she reply?
- At first she refused, but I convinced her
- She became very affectionate and she even played the Cruz Azul match for me
- But you've seen that match 7 times
- 8
- But I watched it again so she wouldn't feel bad
- The only issue I see in all this is that since we are neighbors
I'm sure Federica will tell Martina to get our own maid, too.
- Not at all, Flavio. Federica would never do that
- Of course! Demand that Flavio hires a maid for you
- Hmm, I doubt it Federica, it's too expensive
Besides Flavio doesn't make that much money to get that luxury
-So?? Ludovico makes half of that and I was able to convince him with a little manipulation
- Plus, that's a good way to ensure he doesn't have enough money to go to a stripping club
to see brainless women
- Brainless women? You are right: I need a maid
- The only problem is that I have to hire her by this evening
- Impossible. You won't have time to place an ad
- I have an idea! Come with me
- Come over here, come so that all of P.Lush City sees you on TV. What is it?
- I'm willing to divorce if there's a good match out there
- Are you looking for a husband?
- No, I meant a match as in soccer match,
'cause where there's a good match, my husband ignores me!
- Aah, and I want to announce that if you're a woman looking to make lots of money
you should go for a casting tonight at my house: 1327 P.Lush Ave.
The job is easy and I promise you'll feel at home. Thanks!
- Hey, what are you doing with those paper planes?
- I'm playing Osama bin Laden
- How does that work?
- You have to hit in the middle
- So how is Federica going to hire a maid? It's not easy nowadays
- That's the trick
The deadline is tonight; she won't be able to place an ad
so she won't be able to hire one
- What if she makes your kids distribute flyers?
- She would never use them for that!
- This kid is being rescued right now.
after several attempts and he's finally with his mother
- Ma'am, what do you feel?
- I feel...disgusted 'cause he stinks
- But I'll take a moment to tell all women
who are trying to make lots of money that they should go apply for a job at my house tonight
1327 P.Lush Ave. The job is super easy and I swear you'll feel at home
- My baby, be more careful
- But you pushed me into the manhole
- Quiet!
- Well, remember the casting for the job is tonight
- You're too generous
Hiring a maid with your salary
- No, that's not enough, I'll have to work overtime
- But without the ad, no girls will show up
- In the end, I'll avoid having to pay for a maid
- What if she finds a way to find candidates?
- She only does that when she wants to make me miserable
- Imagine, her going to live TV for that!
- This morning there was protest in the city...
- Leave her alone, please.
- How are you, sir? I just stopped by quickly
Like many who work here: they just "stop by"
- I only came to say to all women that tonight I'm having a casting
1327 P.Lush Avenue
The job is super easy and I swear you'll feel at home
- That's it. I'm leaving now
- I never miss your TV shows
I see you every Thursday night
Thanks, but my show's on Friday
Shortly after...
- You see? She's not even here. Her chance is gone
and I did want to please her this time
- I'm here!
- What happened? Do we have a maid?
- Did anyone show up?
- No one came
- Let me explain: we'll select a winner by direct elimination
- First of all, you should let go the ugliest ones automatically
- Okay, so my sister- and my mother-in-law should leave now
- Enough! Stop playing dumb and give me a kiss!
- A casting to hire a maid, sis? Only a dumbass could think of that
- Yes, only a failed man with a miserable salary would think of hiring one of them as a maid
- A maid?? - How dare you!! You lied to me!
- What will you do now with these women?
- I'm not sure, but if I'm going to spend my salary on a maid
at least it should be one that I like
- Okay, attention! Do you know why you're here?
- Yes, to sing
- To dance
- To act
- Yes, but before you'll have to put up with me
- Put up? I knew it! All TV producers are the same
- TV producers? I'm not such thing!
- Federica, you told them this is not X-Factor, right?
- Not X-FActor? I'm leaving now!
- As I was saying...
- Daddy, daddy! It's itchy
- What is?
-The tail's itchy
- Didn't your mom worm you?
- I mean the tail of the rat I found when I fell into the manhole. Look.
- Dad, can we keep it as a pet?
- Yes daddy! We can chase it, step on it, throw rocks at it
- Junior! If you want to throw rocks at rats, do it with your Aunt Lucrecia!
- Besides you'll scare your sister with this rat
- He's right, we can scare Bibi. Good idea!
- We'll throw it in her room, lock it and the come back
- Okay we have two final candidates for the job
- Sorry, sorry.
-Who are you?
- I'm Excelsa.
I'm here because there are many problems in my country:
devaluations, the national team is eliminated in the first round of the World Cup
- So you're Argentinian? Why are you in Mexico?
- I came to triumph. All Argentinians triumph here
So many Argentinians here have made it big
All you need to make it big in Mexico is being Argentinian
Maybe I can even find a husband like Brad Pitt
or perhaps I'll get naturalized to play in the national soccer team
- Come here a sec. How will you choose one of those 3?
- Good night, welcome to Miss P.Lush Contest
our first candidate is Ms. Azalea
Hi, I'm Azalea, and I have Master's in cleaning and housekeeping from P.Lush University
I was born in a small town but I was raised over by India
- Near Tibet?
- No, I was raised, by and Indian cook. She's the one that hired me as a maid
- But, are you a good cook?
- Of course! International food is my area of expertise
I learned to make spaguetti in Italy, paella in Spain, sushi in Japan, hamburghers in Hamburgh...
and at the Vatican I learned to peel Popeatoes
I'm also a prepared babysitter so that you don't worry about disciplining your kids!
- She's the one
- Wait! There's one more
- Our second one sweeps like this!
- She got all 10s!
- She hasn't even shown anything!
- She can show me all she wants later
- Ludovico!
- I meant her resume
- She looks completely useless
- So?
- She can't even grasp the broom properly!
- So?
- She can't even speak!
- Better that way mom, you don't like anyone talking back
- Do you or do you not want a maid?
- I do!
- Careful Federica, this is one of those brainless girls he sees at the stripping clubs
Of course my Flavio would not even look at her!
- Do you or do you not want a maid?
- Doesn't seem trustworthy
What if she steals from us?
- I'll watch her even in the shower!
- We have a tie here!
- It's my turn, my turn!
- Be quiet!!
- Silence! This is an important decision for the P.Lush Family. Take it seriously
- That's right, daughter.
- You can divorce your husband any time
but a good maid should be with you for life
- Grandma is right, mommy. Let's finish this and hire the mute girl
- Why the mute one?
When I'm yelling, you always say I should be a mute boy
- That's the best decision
Besides, remember that you didn't finish nursing Ludoviquito
- Never!
- We'll hire Ms. Azalea. She's better prepared
and she will make the kids change for the better
- Look mom, I'll be honest.
I won't change just because you hire a grumpy, bulldog-faced old woman
- I decide in this home and I'll decide who the maid will be
- But I'm the one who makes the worst mess, so I decide
- But I've had diarrhea for 3 days and that's why...
wait, that's not related to this
- Why don't you flip a coin?
- You're right, I'll flip in bed with the mute girl and I'll be right back
- I meant flip a coin in the air and if you win, then you decide
If I win twice, can I flip with two girls?
- No, I meant that you flip a coin, not that you flip in...
- Enough, here's the coin
-Heads
- I'll choose the breast
I meant tails. I got confused
- Ludovico will choose the new maid
- We all agree?
The brainless mute girl
Let me remind you all that the decision cannot be overturned
and cannot be changed
- The winner is...the brainless!
- I don't like to be called "brainless"
but if that means getting the job, I'll forgive you this time
- The decision cannot be changed
- You're hired. Welcome the brainless one!!
- I wasn't referring to her
I was talking about the other brainless
- I'll make dinner
- Thanks for coming, we have a maid
- Don't be sad, Dad. We fell but our pride stands still
- Thanks for your words of support, baby
But it's not fair!
-C'mon dad, get over it
- I was so close to her
- What's this? What's this Federica?
- Dinner, I guess.
- Don't worry boss, I promise I'll learn to cook in 6-7 months
6-7 months??
- Honey, first she needs to learn to wash, clean up, ironing
- Don't be so impatient with her
- I was so close!
- "Ludovico: I'll appreciate it if you could send me a couple of sugar cups with my new maid." -Flavio
Son of a...
I was so close!
Don't leave, please!
There's something left here