WEBVTT 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:09.000 Season 1 Episode 2: "The Maid" 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:15.000 - All right Federica, concentrate, you won't fail, you can do this. 00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:21.000 - Federica, instead of forcing him to guess, just tell him you need a maid. 00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:28.000 - C'mon Martina! If blackmails, tears and hints were not an effective tool for women 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:33.000 there wouldn't be any bad girls in the soap operas 00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:36.000 - It's so late now! I need to leave 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:39.000 - Shoot! Shoot you idiot! 00:00:39.000 --> 00:00:44.000 - Now's the time Federica 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:47.000 - Move! Move! 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:50.000 - Sorry! I have so many things to do 00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:54.000 If only I could get some help... 00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:56.000 - Honey, you should have said that before 00:00:56.000 --> 00:01:00.000 - So you do get my hint? 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:06.000 - No, but you should have said it before 'cause now we're watching the match and you're interrupting! 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:13.000 - You see? You never have time for me, not even 5 minutes. 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:20.000 - Just wait for the break and you'll get 15 minutes 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:22.000 - You always ignore me 00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:26.000 - Sorry honey, but you're interrupting in the middle of the match 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:30.000 - It's over now, its halftime 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:33.000 - But I need to watch the summary of the goals I already watched 00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:41.000 - I need a maid to clean up so much filth!! 00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:43.000 are you listening?? Otherwise I'll call my mom to come! 00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:48.000 - So our filth is not enough for you? You need to bring your mother, too? 00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:53.000 - I'll call her to help me with the house cleaning, you horse face! 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:56.000 and don't insult my mother! Have I ever told you your mom 00:01:56.000 --> 00:02:00.000 is a chicken that laid only one ball?? 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:06.000 - Excuse me but I have two! Two of my kids are present here 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:08.000 and I don't want to argue in front of them! 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:14.000 Let's cool down, shall we? 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:17.000 - You're right. Look, I'm so cool and calm now, you see? 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:25.000 - Ludovico, please I need a maid to help with the house chores. 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:29.000 you hear me stingy donkey?? 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:34.000 - Look, let's not argue, the second half is starting now. Let's discuss about it later. 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:39.000 - Either you give me an answer right now or... 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:43.000 - Or what?? Are you going to turn the TV off?? You wouldn't dare! 00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:49.000 - No, but I'll pause the video recorder until you give me an answer! 00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:52.000 - No, no! Wait 'till it's over 00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:55.000 - You've seen it 8 times already! 00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:59.000 - But maybe this time the Cruz Azul team will win 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:04.000 - So?? 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:09.000 - All right! But you must hire her by tomorrow evening 00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:11.000 or there's no deal! 00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:21.000 - Yes! 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:24.000 At the Office 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:30.000 - So, then I told her: "why don't you hire a maid to help you with the house chores?" 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:31.000 - What did she reply? 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:35.000 - At first she refused, but I convinced her 00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:41.000 - She became very affectionate and she even played the Cruz Azul match for me 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:44.000 - But you've seen that match 7 times 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:45.000 - 8 00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:49.000 - But I watched it again so she wouldn't feel bad 00:03:49.000 --> 00:03:52.000 - The only issue I see in all this is that since we are neighbors 00:03:52.000 --> 00:03:56.000 I'm sure Federica will tell Martina to get our own maid, too. 00:03:56.000 --> 00:03:59.000 - Not at all, Flavio. Federica would never do that 00:03:59.000 --> 00:04:04.000 - Of course! Demand that Flavio hires a maid for you 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:08.000 - Hmm, I doubt it Federica, it's too expensive 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:10.000 Besides Flavio doesn't make that much money to get that luxury 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:17.000 -So?? Ludovico makes half of that and I was able to convince him with a little manipulation 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:22.000 - Plus, that's a good way to ensure he doesn't have enough money to go to a stripping club 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:24.000 to see brainless women 00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:27.000 - Brainless women? You are right: I need a maid 00:04:27.000 --> 00:04:33.000 - The only problem is that I have to hire her by this evening 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:38.000 - Impossible. You won't have time to place an ad 00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:46.000 - I have an idea! Come with me 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:50.000 - Come over here, come so that all of P.Lush City sees you on TV. What is it? 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:54.000 - I'm willing to divorce if there's a good match out there 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:55.000 - Are you looking for a husband? 00:04:55.000 --> 00:05:01.000 - No, I meant a match as in soccer match, 00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:05.000 'cause where there's a good match, my husband ignores me! 00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:12.000 - Aah, and I want to announce that if you're a woman looking to make lots of money 00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:19.000 you should go for a casting tonight at my house: 1327 P.Lush Ave. 00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:30.000 The job is easy and I promise you'll feel at home. Thanks! 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:35.000 - Hey, what are you doing with those paper planes? 00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:37.000 - I'm playing Osama bin Laden 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:39.000 - How does that work? 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:44.000 - You have to hit in the middle 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:49.000 - So how is Federica going to hire a maid? It's not easy nowadays 00:05:49.000 --> 00:05:51.000 - That's the trick 00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:54.000 The deadline is tonight; she won't be able to place an ad 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:56.000 so she won't be able to hire one 00:05:56.000 --> 00:06:00.000 - What if she makes your kids distribute flyers? 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:05.000 - She would never use them for that! 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:08.000 - This kid is being rescued right now. 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:13.000 after several attempts and he's finally with his mother 00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:16.000 - Ma'am, what do you feel? 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:20.000 - I feel...disgusted 'cause he stinks 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:22.000 - But I'll take a moment to tell all women 00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:27.000 who are trying to make lots of money that they should go apply for a job at my house tonight 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:35.000 1327 P.Lush Ave. The job is super easy and I swear you'll feel at home 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:40.000 - My baby, be more careful 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:43.000 - But you pushed me into the manhole 00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:47.000 - Quiet! 00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:52.000 - Well, remember the casting for the job is tonight 00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:55.000 - You're too generous 00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:59.000 Hiring a maid with your salary 00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:03.000 - No, that's not enough, I'll have to work overtime 00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:07.000 - But without the ad, no girls will show up 00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:11.000 - In the end, I'll avoid having to pay for a maid 00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:15.000 - What if she finds a way to find candidates? 00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:20.000 - She only does that when she wants to make me miserable 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:26.000 - Imagine, her going to live TV for that! 00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:32.000 - This morning there was protest in the city... 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:34.000 - Leave her alone, please. 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:39.000 - How are you, sir? I just stopped by quickly 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:45.000 Like many who work here: they just "stop by" 00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:51.000 - I only came to say to all women that tonight I'm having a casting 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:57.000 1327 P.Lush Avenue 00:07:57.000 --> 00:08:02.000 The job is super easy and I swear you'll feel at home 00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:05.000 - That's it. I'm leaving now 00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:13.000 - I never miss your TV shows 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:18.000 I see you every Thursday night 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:23.000 Thanks, but my show's on Friday 00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:29.000 Shortly after... 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:34.000 - You see? She's not even here. Her chance is gone 00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:36.000 and I did want to please her this time 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:38.000 - I'm here! 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:42.000 - What happened? Do we have a maid? 00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:43.000 - Did anyone show up? 00:08:43.000 --> 00:09:20.000 - No one came 00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:27.000 - Let me explain: we'll select a winner by direct elimination 00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:30.000 - First of all, you should let go the ugliest ones automatically 00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:34.000 - Okay, so my sister- and my mother-in-law should leave now 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:40.000 - Enough! Stop playing dumb and give me a kiss! 00:09:40.000 --> 00:09:47.000 - A casting to hire a maid, sis? Only a dumbass could think of that 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:54.000 - Yes, only a failed man with a miserable salary would think of hiring one of them as a maid 00:09:54.000 --> 00:10:02.000 - A maid?? - How dare you!! You lied to me! 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:04.000 - What will you do now with these women? 00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:07.000 - I'm not sure, but if I'm going to spend my salary on a maid 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:13.000 at least it should be one that I like 00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:15.000 - Okay, attention! Do you know why you're here? 00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:17.000 - Yes, to sing 00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:18.000 - To dance 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:21.000 - To act 00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:24.000 - Yes, but before you'll have to put up with me 00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:30.000 - Put up? I knew it! All TV producers are the same 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:33.000 - TV producers? I'm not such thing! 00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:38.000 - Federica, you told them this is not X-Factor, right? 00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:48.000 - Not X-FActor? I'm leaving now! 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:50.000 - As I was saying... 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:53.000 - Daddy, daddy! It's itchy 00:10:53.000 --> 00:10:54.000 - What is? 00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:56.000 -The tail's itchy 00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:58.000 - Didn't your mom worm you? 00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:09.000 - I mean the tail of the rat I found when I fell into the manhole. Look. 00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:12.000 - Dad, can we keep it as a pet? 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:16.000 - Yes daddy! We can chase it, step on it, throw rocks at it 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:23.000 - Junior! If you want to throw rocks at rats, do it with your Aunt Lucrecia! 00:11:23.000 --> 00:11:25.000 - Besides you'll scare your sister with this rat 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:32.000 - He's right, we can scare Bibi. Good idea! 00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:40.000 - We'll throw it in her room, lock it and the come back 00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:46.000 - Okay we have two final candidates for the job 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:47.000 - Sorry, sorry. 00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:48.000 -Who are you? 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:51.000 - I'm Excelsa. 00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:53.000 I'm here because there are many problems in my country: 00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:58.000 devaluations, the national team is eliminated in the first round of the World Cup 00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:02.000 - So you're Argentinian? Why are you in Mexico? 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:08.000 - I came to triumph. All Argentinians triumph here 00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:14.000 So many Argentinians here have made it big 00:12:14.000 --> 00:12:20.000 All you need to make it big in Mexico is being Argentinian 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:25.000 Maybe I can even find a husband like Brad Pitt 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:31.000 or perhaps I'll get naturalized to play in the national soccer team 00:12:31.000 --> 00:12:40.000 - Come here a sec. How will you choose one of those 3? 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:45.000 - Good night, welcome to Miss P.Lush Contest 00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:49.000 our first candidate is Ms. Azalea 00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:59.000 Hi, I'm Azalea, and I have Master's in cleaning and housekeeping from P.Lush University 00:12:59.000 --> 00:13:04.000 I was born in a small town but I was raised over by India 00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:05.000 - Near Tibet? 00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:17.000 - No, I was raised, by and Indian cook. She's the one that hired me as a maid 00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:19.000 - But, are you a good cook? 00:13:19.000 --> 00:13:22.000 - Of course! International food is my area of expertise 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:28.000 I learned to make spaguetti in Italy, paella in Spain, sushi in Japan, hamburghers in Hamburgh... 00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:34.000 and at the Vatican I learned to peel Popeatoes 00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:45.000 I'm also a prepared babysitter so that you don't worry about disciplining your kids! 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:50.000 - She's the one 00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:54.000 - Wait! There's one more 00:13:54.000 --> 00:14:08.000 - Our second one sweeps like this! 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:22.000 - She got all 10s! 00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:24.000 - She hasn't even shown anything! 00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:27.000 - She can show me all she wants later 00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:28.000 - Ludovico! 00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:31.000 - I meant her resume 00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:32.000 - She looks completely useless 00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:34.000 - So? 00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:36.000 - She can't even grasp the broom properly! 00:14:36.000 --> 00:14:38.000 - So? 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:41.000 - She can't even speak! 00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:45.000 - Better that way mom, you don't like anyone talking back 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:49.000 - Do you or do you not want a maid? 00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:51.000 - I do! 00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:58.000 - Careful Federica, this is one of those brainless girls he sees at the stripping clubs 00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:02.000 Of course my Flavio would not even look at her! 00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:08.000 - Do you or do you not want a maid? 00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:10.000 - Doesn't seem trustworthy 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:13.000 What if she steals from us? 00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:18.000 - I'll watch her even in the shower! 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:22.000 - We have a tie here! 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:23.000 - It's my turn, my turn! 00:15:23.000 --> 00:15:30.000 - Be quiet!! 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:39.000 - Silence! This is an important decision for the P.Lush Family. Take it seriously 00:15:39.000 --> 00:15:42.000 - That's right, daughter. 00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:46.000 - You can divorce your husband any time 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:49.000 but a good maid should be with you for life 00:15:49.000 --> 00:15:59.000 - Grandma is right, mommy. Let's finish this and hire the mute girl 00:15:59.000 --> 00:16:01.000 - Why the mute one? 00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:06.000 When I'm yelling, you always say I should be a mute boy 00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:09.000 - That's the best decision 00:16:09.000 --> 00:16:14.000 Besides, remember that you didn't finish nursing Ludoviquito 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:16.000 - Never! 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:20.000 - We'll hire Ms. Azalea. She's better prepared 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:24.000 and she will make the kids change for the better 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:26.000 - Look mom, I'll be honest. 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:34.000 I won't change just because you hire a grumpy, bulldog-faced old woman 00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:39.000 - I decide in this home and I'll decide who the maid will be 00:16:39.000 --> 00:16:46.000 - But I'm the one who makes the worst mess, so I decide 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:50.000 - But I've had diarrhea for 3 days and that's why... 00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:53.000 wait, that's not related to this 00:16:53.000 --> 00:16:56.000 - Why don't you flip a coin? 00:16:56.000 --> 00:17:02.000 - You're right, I'll flip in bed with the mute girl and I'll be right back 00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:07.000 - I meant flip a coin in the air and if you win, then you decide 00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:11.000 If I win twice, can I flip with two girls? 00:17:11.000 --> 00:17:16.000 - No, I meant that you flip a coin, not that you flip in... 00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:18.000 - Enough, here's the coin 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:20.000 -Heads 00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:22.000 - I'll choose the breast 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:45.000 I meant tails. I got confused 00:17:45.000 --> 00:18:00.000 - Ludovico will choose the new maid 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:02.000 - We all agree? 00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:05.000 The brainless mute girl 00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:12.000 Let me remind you all that the decision cannot be overturned 00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:13.000 and cannot be changed 00:18:13.000 --> 00:18:20.000 - The winner is...the brainless! 00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:23.000 - I don't like to be called "brainless" 00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:30.000 but if that means getting the job, I'll forgive you this time 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:33.000 - The decision cannot be changed 00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:39.000 - You're hired. Welcome the brainless one!! 00:18:39.000 --> 00:18:42.000 - I wasn't referring to her 00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:45.000 I was talking about the other brainless 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:52.000 - I'll make dinner 00:18:52.000 --> 00:19:06.000 - Thanks for coming, we have a maid 00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:11.000 - Don't be sad, Dad. We fell but our pride stands still 00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:14.000 - Thanks for your words of support, baby 00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:17.000 But it's not fair! 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:20.000 -C'mon dad, get over it 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:25.000 - I was so close to her 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:29.000 - What's this? What's this Federica? 00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:31.000 - Dinner, I guess. 00:19:31.000 --> 00:19:36.000 - Don't worry boss, I promise I'll learn to cook in 6-7 months 00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:40.000 6-7 months?? 00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:46.000 - Honey, first she needs to learn to wash, clean up, ironing 00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:49.000 - Don't be so impatient with her 00:19:49.000 --> 00:20:10.000 - I was so close! 00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:20.000 - "Ludovico: I'll appreciate it if you could send me a couple of sugar cups with my new maid." -Flavio 00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:27.000 Son of a... 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:57.000 I was so close! 00:20:57.000 --> 00:21:02.000 Don't leave, please! 00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:06.000 There's something left here