WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.068 When it comes to identities and experiences that we haven't come across 00:00:04.068 --> 00:00:06.833 in real life or been taught about in schools, we tend to rely on 00:00:06.833 --> 00:00:10.833 the media to teach us about them. Now, this media might be documentaries, 00:00:10.833 --> 00:00:14.833 or news reports- things that are factual- or fictional books, TV shows, 00:00:14.833 --> 00:00:18.385 or films. Now, sometimes, the media produced about these identities 00:00:18.385 --> 00:00:22.763 or experiences is empathy-filled. It's got accurate information based 00:00:22.763 --> 00:00:27.708 on lived experiences and deep research, but sometimes, [it] doesn't. 00:00:27.708 --> 00:00:32.191 This kind of flawed representation in media might replicate damaging tropes, 00:00:32.191 --> 00:00:34.562 or include the spread of misinformation. 00:00:34.562 --> 00:00:37.642 The importance of representation is something that I talk about a lot 00:00:37.642 --> 00:00:41.642 on this channel, and that's the reason that I wanted to make this video today. 00:00:41.642 --> 00:00:46.342 What happens to identities and experiences that we might not see around us, 00:00:46.342 --> 00:00:51.029 that we aren't taught about in schools, and don't have much representation 00:00:51.029 --> 00:00:54.933 in the media. Well, it turns out a lot of myths and misconceptions start to form. 00:00:54.933 --> 00:00:58.342 When you look for media with asexual and aromantic protagonists in [them], 00:00:58.342 --> 00:01:02.990 it's almost impossible. A lot of lists of any ace or aro characters will be 00:01:02.990 --> 00:01:07.763 side characters or characters that are just headcanoned to be that by their fans, 00:01:07.763 --> 00:01:10.063 not anything that's explicit in the text itself. 00:01:10.063 --> 00:01:13.594 And that is why I was so excited when I got sent this new book in the post. 00:01:13.594 --> 00:01:17.594 It's called Loveless, by Alice Oseman, and it has an aroace protagonist. 00:01:17.594 --> 00:01:19.996 I read this book in like a day. I know it's the ultimate cliche- 00:01:19.996 --> 00:01:21.836 couldn't put it down. I genuinely couldn't. 00:01:21.836 --> 00:01:26.669 As an asexual lesbian, this was the kind of representation I had never seen before 00:01:26.669 --> 00:01:29.863 and it just made me feel so seen. 00:01:29.863 --> 00:01:33.576 So if this sort of aro/ace coming of age novel, with multiple queer characters, 00:01:33.576 --> 00:01:38.284 um, a Shakespeare play, because you know the queers love a good Shakespeare play, 00:01:38.284 --> 00:01:41.206 amazing female friendships, if that kind of appeals to you, 00:01:41.206 --> 00:01:43.311 oh my God, check this book out. You will not regret it. 00:01:43.311 --> 00:01:46.111 So I reached out initially to see if Alice would be interested in being in like 00:01:46.111 --> 00:01:50.513 a debunking, uh, video, and Harper Collins very generously offered to just sponsor 00:01:50.513 --> 00:01:53.696 this whole video. Um, so, I'm going to leave a link in the description 00:01:53.696 --> 00:01:56.473 for you to find out more about the book, or buy it if you want, cause it is out now. 00:01:56.473 --> 00:01:59.771 And without further ado let's bust some myths! 00:01:59.771 --> 00:02:02.215 So what do we mean by asexual and aromantic? 00:02:02.215 --> 00:02:05.033 Well there are different definitions and different wordings, 00:02:05.033 --> 00:02:06.993 but here is what we're gonna go with: 00:02:28.551 --> 00:02:29.551 It's worth noting that 00:02:36.270 --> 00:02:39.750 And if you're still confused, hopefully the rest of this video will clear up 00:02:39.750 --> 00:02:42.622 any misunderstandings or myths that you might've heard. 00:02:46.367 --> 00:02:47.617 And you have to be both. 00:02:48.133 --> 00:02:51.373 So hopefully the definitions have sort of busted this myth for us, 00:02:51.373 --> 00:02:54.886 but aromanticism and asexuality are different things. 00:02:54.886 --> 00:02:58.886 So, you can be both, you can be neither, or you could be one or the other. 00:02:58.932 --> 00:03:04.217 So, some people feel that their romantic attraction and their sexual attraction 00:03:04.217 --> 00:03:08.217 are very similar, or they feel like the same thing so a lot of gay, 00:03:08.217 --> 00:03:14.074 and straight and bi and pan people feel like their attraction is kind of- 00:03:14.074 --> 00:03:16.739 their romantic and sexual attraction is linked together, 00:03:16.739 --> 00:03:21.168 but often for asexual and aromantic, and people of other sexualities, 00:03:21.168 --> 00:03:25.168 um, they just feel like two different things. But again, not always. 00:03:25.168 --> 00:03:30.338 Like for me, I'm aromantic and asexual and I feel like they're quite linked 00:03:30.338 --> 00:03:33.768 together, they feel like a similar thing- part of a similar thing to me. 00:03:33.768 --> 00:03:37.698 Um, so yeah, just remember it varies for different people. 00:03:37.698 --> 00:03:41.698 Yeah, exactly! So you may have sexual attraction to all genders. 00:03:41.698 --> 00:03:46.362 You might, for that example, identify as pansexual, um, but only for romantic 00:03:46.362 --> 00:03:49.810 attraction towards one gender. There are also other kinds of attraction 00:03:49.810 --> 00:03:52.670 that again, for a lot of people, are all bundled up into one. 00:03:52.670 --> 00:03:56.610 Uh, things like aesthetic attraction, so attraction to the way that someone looks, 00:03:56.610 --> 00:04:01.650 or sensual attraction, a desire for touch which isn't necessarily sexual but 00:04:01.650 --> 00:04:05.898 sensual in nature. And again you might experience all, none, or a mixture 00:04:05.898 --> 00:04:07.509 of these different types of attraction. 00:04:12.321 --> 00:04:17.308 Obviously, this is very untrue. Um, asexuality is not the same thing 00:04:17.308 --> 00:04:21.559 as just choosing not to have sex. It's not the same thing as abstinence 00:04:21.559 --> 00:04:26.609 or celibacy, or anything like that. Um, I think it's important to remember 00:04:26.609 --> 00:04:32.496 that asexuality is about a lack of attraction. It's nothing to do with choice 00:04:32.496 --> 00:04:37.183 or deciding not to have sex. Um, and it's also worth remembering 00:04:37.183 --> 00:04:40.214 that lots of asexuals do have sex anyway. [Chuckles] 00:04:44.895 --> 00:04:47.961 So I think that this myth comes from the idea that people who do experience 00:04:47.961 --> 00:04:51.725 sexual attraction know that at one point when they were younger, they didn't, 00:04:51.725 --> 00:04:54.890 and so they assume that everyone who doesn't is just on the same journey 00:04:54.890 --> 00:04:58.890 as them, and it's just a matter of time, but that is not necessarily the case. 00:04:58.922 --> 00:05:03.204 So the idea of being a late bloomer is actually something that comes up a lot 00:05:03.204 --> 00:05:06.362 in my book, Loveless, which you can see in the corner here. 00:05:06.362 --> 00:05:10.662 Um, it's something that the protagonist, Georgia, worries about a lot. 00:05:10.697 --> 00:05:16.719 She, especially at first, she thinks, "Oh well, I can't be asexual, I'm just a late 00:05:16.719 --> 00:05:20.799 bloomer," like, I just need to wait and until I find the right person. 00:05:20.799 --> 00:05:25.773 But it's actually this idea that kind of hinders her on her journey, 00:05:25.773 --> 00:05:32.650 and it's actively kind of harmful to her to in helping her discover her sexuality, 00:05:32.650 --> 00:05:38.950 so, yeah, I think it's not a good idea to be telling asexuals that they're just 00:05:38.950 --> 00:05:40.981 late bloomers cause it's not helpful. 00:05:40.981 --> 00:05:44.314 Yeah, I think this brushing off of people who have a sincerely held identity 00:05:44.314 --> 00:05:47.200 is quite infantilizing or dismissive of the way that they feel. 00:05:47.200 --> 00:05:53.390 And yeah, it also means that people are put in a position where they might be 00:05:53.390 --> 00:05:57.869 starting to question whether they could be aromantic or asexual and this kinda 00:05:57.869 --> 00:06:01.213 cuts them off from the exploration by saying, "No, no, that's not what you are, 00:06:01.213 --> 00:06:03.653 you're this, you just haven't reached that stage yet." 00:06:03.653 --> 00:06:07.199 Um, so I think that it's always really healthy to keep options open 00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:13.206 to make sure that people can really look into, um, explore and research different 00:06:13.206 --> 00:06:15.842 identities to see what fits them rather than just saying to them, 00:06:15.842 --> 00:06:19.842 "Don't worry, you'll be that normal one. You just gotta wait a bit longer before 00:06:19.842 --> 00:06:20.759 it happens." 00:06:20.759 --> 00:06:25.722 It's also one of my personal pet peeves that people find out that I'm aroace 00:06:25.722 --> 00:06:32.714 and they just assume that I'm like a baby, who cannot even deal with the idea of 00:06:32.714 --> 00:06:38.554 talking or hearing about sex or romance. Um, it's just very annoying like 00:06:38.554 --> 00:06:43.078 I'm 25 years old, I know what sex is! [chuckles] 00:06:43.078 --> 00:06:46.143 Um, so yeah, that's just very annoying. 00:06:50.934 --> 00:06:53.611 I feel like this is quite similar to the last one. The big issue with it 00:06:53.611 --> 00:06:56.912 is that it really invalidates people's experiences, the way that their- 00:06:56.912 --> 00:06:58.483 and their identities as well. 00:06:58.483 --> 00:07:01.839 Um, yeah, I think that this is the same argument that's tossed out [to] 00:07:01.839 --> 00:07:07.369 a lot of other sexualities, like gay people and bi people. Um, everyone who's 00:07:07.369 --> 00:07:10.837 not straight kind of gets told, like, this is just a phase, 00:07:10.837 --> 00:07:16.069 you'll just grow out of it one day. Um, and I mean, sometimes, sexuality 00:07:16.069 --> 00:07:18.911 and identity does change over time but often it doesn't, 00:07:18.911 --> 00:07:23.428 and going around telling people, "Oh, no, it's okay, you'll change one day," 00:07:23.428 --> 00:07:26.499 "you'll grow out this," that's just not helpful to anyone. 00:07:26.499 --> 00:07:29.885 Yeah, our people- [there are] a lot of people who identify one way and then they identify 00:07:29.885 --> 00:07:33.885 a different way, and that doesn't mean those identities are inherently a phase, 00:07:33.885 --> 00:07:37.885 or that was a lie; that was how you sincerely identified at the time, 00:07:37.885 --> 00:07:39.983 or the way in which you wanted to label yourself. 00:07:39.983 --> 00:07:43.983 I think that like we would never say that just because someone used to identify 00:07:43.983 --> 00:07:46.594 as straight and now identifies as gay, that being straight is a phase, 00:07:46.594 --> 00:07:50.740 um, and so I think that we can all understand that that's not the case 00:07:50.740 --> 00:07:52.256 with other sexualities either. 00:08:01.433 --> 00:08:06.165 So there's a bit in Loveless where Georgia, the protagonist, is Googling 00:08:06.165 --> 00:08:11.691 asexuality and aromanticism for the first time, and she is just bombarded 00:08:11.691 --> 00:08:17.828 with information, um and she says something like, you know, being asexual wasn't- 00:08:17.828 --> 00:08:23.228 it wasn't like a graph, it was like a radar chart with a dozen different axes. 00:08:23.711 --> 00:08:27.711 Um, and I think that kind of sums up asexuality and aromanticism, 00:08:27.711 --> 00:08:31.203 cause it is complicated, like there's a lot to learn about it. 00:08:31.203 --> 00:08:35.369 I think that all sexualities are not just on a spectrum. Um, 00:08:35.369 --> 00:08:38.879 like, the Kinsey scale, is probably the one people have heard of most often. 00:08:38.879 --> 00:08:43.962 Um, because there are all of these different ways in which we experience 00:08:43.962 --> 00:08:47.962 and identify and different feelings that we might have at different times, 00:08:47.962 --> 00:08:54.140 um, and I think that asexuality and aromanticism is like, part of that map, 00:08:54.140 --> 00:08:59.833 web... uh, situation. And I don't necessarily think that that being that quite 00:08:59.833 --> 00:09:02.413 complicated needs to be a scary thing or a worrying thing. 00:09:02.413 --> 00:09:05.931 I think that the reason why it's so complicated is that it can be quite 00:09:05.931 --> 00:09:10.732 freeing for people to say, "Oh wait, this really specific thing that I'm feeling, 00:09:10.732 --> 00:09:14.342 that I'm starting to articulate about myself, is the same thing that someone 00:09:14.342 --> 00:09:18.221 else is feeling, that I'm not alone," and so I don't necessarily think of it as 00:09:18.221 --> 00:09:22.221 a scary thing, I think of it as something that's quite positive to a lot of people 00:09:22.221 --> 00:09:26.041 to have that kind of complexity available. So, it's worth noting here that within the 00:09:26.041 --> 00:09:31.040 kind of spectrum/web of asexuality and aromanticism, you have, uh, identities 00:09:31.040 --> 00:09:36.629 like demi and grey which, uh, [are] ways in which people experience attraction that is 00:09:36.629 --> 00:09:41.306 kind of- I guess, in between the two extremes, in some way or another. 00:09:41.306 --> 00:09:43.856 And I also think one of the really interesting things about this web 00:09:43.856 --> 00:09:49.031 that takes, um, experiences and wants and desires into account means that we start 00:09:49.031 --> 00:09:53.709 to unpick what heteronormativity has said is normal and expected, 00:09:53.709 --> 00:09:56.797 and you can decide the kind of things that you want and don't want. 00:09:56.797 --> 00:10:00.657 Even if you're someone who is straight, there will be particular experiences- 00:10:00.672 --> 00:10:04.542 or particular activities, or wants, or sexual acts or things like that- 00:10:04.542 --> 00:10:08.542 that are expected of you, within the overarching idea of what it means 00:10:08.542 --> 00:10:12.542 to be straight, that you don't necessarily have to want or do. 00:10:12.542 --> 00:10:14.972 And so, I think that, again, that this web is something that isn't something 00:10:14.972 --> 00:10:17.545 to be feared, but something that can really be liberating to a lot of people. 00:10:22.090 --> 00:10:25.510 Again, this is kind of following on from the last myth. There is, or can be, 00:10:25.510 --> 00:10:29.650 a difference in people's experiences, their wants, their sex drive, 00:10:29.650 --> 00:10:33.649 their desires, their identity; those things don't necessarily match up. 00:10:33.649 --> 00:10:38.579 So, this might be a repetitive point, but, um, the important thing to remember about 00:10:38.579 --> 00:10:44.005 asexuality and aromanticism is that they're just a lack or little, 00:10:44.188 --> 00:10:49.087 um, sexual or romantic attraction. Uh, there's really nothing to do with 00:10:49.343 --> 00:10:53.463 anything else. Like, even if you are asexual or aromantic, you could feel 00:10:53.526 --> 00:10:57.656 all sorts of different ways about having sex, about being in relationships, 00:10:57.716 --> 00:11:02.932 about romance, you know. Like you've said, it's a big web of all different 00:11:02.932 --> 00:11:04.186 experiences and feelings. 00:11:04.388 --> 00:11:08.598 So, some asexual people have a sex drive and a libido, some don't. 00:11:08.718 --> 00:11:12.718 Uh, some will masturbate, some won't. Some will have sex with their partners, 00:11:12.894 --> 00:11:16.894 uh, and some won't, and the reasons for that are not sexual attraction, 00:11:16.986 --> 00:11:20.072 but other reasons. So, they might have sex with their partners to feel close 00:11:20.072 --> 00:11:23.942 to them, um, because it feels physically good. Um, but yeah, 00:11:23.942 --> 00:11:27.359 as Alice said, it's just not something that's based on sexual attraction. 00:11:33.520 --> 00:11:39.283 So obviously, this is such a myth, and one of the big messages in Loveless is 00:11:39.283 --> 00:11:43.995 that you can find a happily ever after without romance, and that 00:11:44.221 --> 00:11:48.221 platonic relationships can be just as powerful and special as romantic 00:11:48.224 --> 00:11:52.224 relationships. Um, unfortunately, we live in a society where romance is 00:11:52.476 --> 00:11:57.316 kind of lauded as the best thing ever, and everyone should be aspiring 00:11:57.316 --> 00:12:01.479 to find "the one" and fall in love and have an amazing love story. 00:12:01.584 --> 00:12:07.409 But, the reality is that, you know, some people just won't feel happy experiencing 00:12:07.478 --> 00:12:13.948 that, so we should all be able to find that kind of joy and happiness in 00:12:14.002 --> 00:12:15.743 platonic relationships as well. 00:12:20.526 --> 00:12:24.796 Similar to the über evasive idea of, like, the happily ever after romantic ending, 00:12:24.977 --> 00:12:32.554 just our media, advertising, um, it's- our humor, even, is all so based on 00:12:33.096 --> 00:12:37.653 sex, romance, and relationships. And, so, it's completely understandable 00:12:37.653 --> 00:12:41.320 that if you are not experiencing that attraction, that it might make you feel 00:12:41.320 --> 00:12:43.984 like there's something wrong with you. And, I think this is one of the really 00:12:43.984 --> 00:12:47.121 important reasons to talk about aromanticism and asexuality; 00:12:47.465 --> 00:12:52.195 is to allow people to imagine a fulfilling life that doesn't necessarily involve 00:12:52.195 --> 00:12:56.195 those things; um, to not force yourself to want to want something, 00:12:57.065 --> 00:13:00.945 um, that doesn't come to you naturally, and that isn't something that you're 00:13:00.945 --> 00:13:03.431 going to be happy trying to strive towards. 00:13:03.431 --> 00:13:08.392 Um, I'll just add to that- that idea kind of benefits everyone, even people who 00:13:08.392 --> 00:13:14.512 aren't asexual and aromantic. Like, feeling pressured to find the perfect love story 00:13:14.512 --> 00:13:20.972 is not a good thing for anyone, no matter your sexuality, so understanding that you 00:13:21.082 --> 00:13:25.860 shouldn't have to strive for that idealized life and you should just try and 00:13:26.022 --> 00:13:30.392 enjoy, you know, what you have is a good thing for everyone. 00:13:30.729 --> 00:13:35.473 One really big issue for the asexual and aromantic communities is that 00:13:35.708 --> 00:13:39.888 they're often seen as being mental illnesses or things that need to be 00:13:40.057 --> 00:13:46.127 treated, often by- even by doctors or therapists. Um, it's just quite a big issue 00:13:46.127 --> 00:13:49.928 in the community, um, and it shouldn't be a thing. 00:13:50.074 --> 00:13:53.404 Although it is worth noting- because obviously, we love a bit of nuance, 00:13:53.451 --> 00:13:58.371 uh, and nothing is always black and white- um, but there will be people who experience, 00:13:58.472 --> 00:14:03.292 um, asexuality because of trauma, and that's something that might last 00:14:03.350 --> 00:14:05.650 a short amount of time, it might be something that's with them for a long 00:14:05.650 --> 00:14:10.684 amount of time, um, and this doesn't negate or undermine people who identify 00:14:10.684 --> 00:14:16.104 as asexual, um, and it's my personal belief that the resources and information that 00:14:16.167 --> 00:14:20.827 are available to the asexual community should be available to anyone who 00:14:20.827 --> 00:14:25.537 experiences that in any way, um, if that is something that they think is going to 00:14:25.628 --> 00:14:28.702 help them. Um, so, it's one of those things that need a bit of nuance, 00:14:28.714 --> 00:14:32.234 that there- it's not inherently a mental illness, but there may be some people 00:14:32.234 --> 00:14:35.827 that experience it for reasons other than it being their inherent sexuality, 00:14:36.057 --> 00:14:38.245 and those things can coexist together. 00:14:42.541 --> 00:14:47.704 Uh, so being sex-positive- the idea that you support people owning their sexuality 00:14:47.704 --> 00:14:52.475 and doing what they want with regards to sex- um, there's no reason why asexuals 00:14:52.475 --> 00:14:57.725 would be against that at all. Um, in Loveless, actually, the protagonist, 00:14:57.881 --> 00:15:04.806 Georgia, uh, her roommate at university is very, very sex-positive, very outgoing, 00:15:04.928 --> 00:15:09.748 she likes to express herself sexually a lot. [chuckles] 00:15:09.834 --> 00:15:13.834 Um, and I wanted that to be one of the most important relationships in the story, 00:15:13.877 --> 00:15:18.867 because it- even though Georgia and her roommate, Roonie, they have very 00:15:18.922 --> 00:15:23.751 different experiences and feelings about sex and about relationships, they can 00:15:23.751 --> 00:15:27.751 still respect each other and learn a lot from each other, um, and that's how 00:15:28.206 --> 00:15:29.226 things should be. 00:15:29.226 --> 00:15:32.956 Being asexual, again, it's not a moral choice, um, and therefore it's not a 00:15:32.956 --> 00:15:35.982 choice that you can then impose on other people, or a kind of morality you can- 00:15:35.982 --> 00:15:39.593 you would want to impose on other people, um, just because there are some asexual 00:15:39.593 --> 00:15:44.051 people who are never gonna have sex, or might be what's called sex-repulsed, 00:15:44.051 --> 00:15:47.890 so, for them personally, it's never something that they want to participate in, 00:15:47.890 --> 00:15:52.620 but it's not then a feeling that they are going to project onto other people, 00:15:52.631 --> 00:15:57.123 or expect other people to feel as well. Um, so yeah, completely a myth. 00:16:03.507 --> 00:16:07.507 Hello, it's me, the creator of a YA romance graphic novel series. 00:16:07.509 --> 00:16:14.769 [Laughs] Um, yeah, this is completely a myth. Like, I love reading and watching romance movies 00:16:14.769 --> 00:16:20.609 and books, um, and the protagonist of Loveless, Georgia, is, you know, 00:16:20.613 --> 00:16:24.343 in the second chapter, she's like, "I love romance, I love fan fiction, 00:16:24.343 --> 00:16:29.394 I love Disney." Just because someone is asexual or aromantic doesn't mean 00:16:29.399 --> 00:16:33.217 that they can't enjoy reading about it or watching it on TV. 00:16:33.217 --> 00:16:37.171 Again it's- it's- it's this spectrum, it's different experiences that people have. 00:16:37.218 --> 00:16:41.218 There will be some aromantic or asexual people who might not be interested 00:16:41.234 --> 00:16:42.604 in that kind of media. 00:16:47.766 --> 00:16:51.680 So this, honestly, just sounds like something that a- just a mean school 00:16:51.680 --> 00:16:55.198 playground bully would say, and it's also like 1000% untrue. 00:16:55.400 --> 00:17:02.429 Yeah, this is definitely untrue. Um, like, personally, I have had opportunities to 00:17:02.429 --> 00:17:06.739 have a relationship, but I've always just been like, "Mm... no thanks!" [chuckles] 00:17:07.224 --> 00:17:13.403 So, yeah, it's not for lack of opportunity. This is- yeah, this is just a weird 00:17:13.404 --> 00:17:17.404 bully-ish argument that makes no sense and is kind of pathetic. 00:17:17.593 --> 00:17:22.537 [Chuckles] This is actually something that aroace activist Yasmine Benoit has 00:17:22.537 --> 00:17:28.631 talked about a lot. Um, she's a British aroace activist. Uh, she goes on loads of 00:17:28.644 --> 00:17:32.973 shows, and does loads of articles and stuff specifically talking about the 00:17:32.973 --> 00:17:38.094 misconception that asexuals have a specific look or they dress a specific way. 00:17:38.451 --> 00:17:44.991 Um, and Yasmine herself is a professional model, as well, so there you go! [Laughs] 00:17:57.785 --> 00:18:03.666 Yeah, I personally think that the complete lack of representation is what contributes 00:18:03.666 --> 00:18:09.511 to this. Um, people don't really have any idea of what asexual and aromantic people 00:18:09.511 --> 00:18:15.224 are like because they're just not on TV, they're very rarely in books. Um, 00:18:15.224 --> 00:18:20.223 and popular characters that have been, you know, decided that they're asexual 00:18:20.223 --> 00:18:24.383 by their fans are often people like Sherlock from BBC's Sherlock, 00:18:24.551 --> 00:18:28.929 Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory, people who are often quite unfeeling. 00:18:28.929 --> 00:18:35.835 Um, whereas we need more positive representation of actual, well-rounded 00:18:35.835 --> 00:18:40.958 people. Like, for example, I really liked the representation, um, of an asexual 00:18:40.958 --> 00:18:45.628 character in Season 2 of Sex Education. Although it was very short, and kind of 00:18:45.628 --> 00:18:50.565 shoe-horned in, it was actually about a girl who has a whole personality. 00:18:50.565 --> 00:18:54.415 She's passionate about theater, like, she's, you know, got this whole 00:18:54.415 --> 00:18:58.565 life, and she's not some sort of unfeeling, emotionless person. 00:18:58.810 --> 00:19:01.479 Um, that's what I think we need more of, generally. 00:19:01.479 --> 00:19:04.610 Yeah, I was really excited to see that in Sex Education as well. I think they've 00:19:04.610 --> 00:19:06.485 tackled a lot of different kinds of sexualities, 00:19:06.485 --> 00:19:09.352 and that felt quite missing for me from Season 1, especially cause I know 00:19:09.352 --> 00:19:11.934 quite a lot of people wanted the main character to be asexual, so 00:19:11.934 --> 00:19:13.764 I was really excited to see that as well. 00:19:13.764 --> 00:19:18.797 One of the earliest adopters of different, um, identities or experiences, 00:19:18.933 --> 00:19:22.933 um, especially in the UK, is often soap operas. Um, we tend to see, like, 00:19:22.984 --> 00:19:25.953 the first kiss on-screen in the UK. Like, all this stuff, they- 00:19:25.953 --> 00:19:28.810 they always tend to be in soap operas. I've talked about this before, but 00:19:28.810 --> 00:19:31.011 for a couple of different reasons, including the idea that if 00:19:31.011 --> 00:19:35.282 the character doesn't go down well they can just remove the character without 00:19:35.282 --> 00:19:37.404 much of an issue cause there's so many other characters that can 00:19:37.404 --> 00:19:43.104 fill in their shoes, um, but it does end up being quite pioneering. And, so, 00:19:43.104 --> 00:19:46.014 we had, I think, what must be one of the first asexual characters 00:19:46.014 --> 00:19:50.684 on UK TV in 2018, with the character of Liv in Emmerdale, um, who 00:19:50.684 --> 00:19:54.708 came out as asexual. Um, I love Liv, and I love the way that they 00:19:54.708 --> 00:20:01.050 did that storyline. She has, um, her brother is gay, and had a really, really pioneering 00:20:01.050 --> 00:20:04.644 storyline. He's been on the soap since he was a kid, and they kind of 00:20:04.644 --> 00:20:07.525 followed him for his whole life so far. And, so, it was really interesting 00:20:07.525 --> 00:20:11.525 getting to see, um, a gay and asexual sibling, and the way in which they 00:20:11.525 --> 00:20:16.125 communicate with each other, explain their sexualities to each other, um, and just 00:20:16.125 --> 00:20:19.146 really love each other through everything. Um, and so, yeah, to see this 00:20:19.146 --> 00:20:23.556 teenage girl character work that out about her sexuality, and try and find 00:20:23.556 --> 00:20:26.029 a relationship with someone that would understand that part of her 00:20:26.029 --> 00:20:30.836 was, and is, really exciting to see. And finally, on to our last myth! 00:20:35.966 --> 00:20:40.741 This is just fundamentally untrue. Um, that- there's been evidence of asexual 00:20:40.741 --> 00:20:46.335 involvement in the LGBTQ+ community, and movements throughout the 20th century. 00:20:46.335 --> 00:20:53.255 Um, so, asexuality existed as a label long before the invention of Tumblr, and 00:20:53.255 --> 00:20:57.255 it's definitely a myth that Tumblr had anything to do with its creation. 00:20:57.255 --> 00:21:01.685 The Internet didn't invent asexuality or aromanticism. What it has done, 00:21:01.685 --> 00:21:07.470 however, is allow people to spread information, um, and advice, and to allow 00:21:07.470 --> 00:21:09.825 people to meet each other, and to find each other, 00:21:09.825 --> 00:21:12.128 and to make them feel less alone. 00:21:12.128 --> 00:21:16.358 And of course, just because the words didn't exist at one point, 00:21:16.358 --> 00:21:19.816 that doesn't mean that people weren't still those identities. 00:21:19.816 --> 00:21:23.745 People will have been asexual and aromantic throughout history, 00:21:23.745 --> 00:21:26.646 just like they have been [for] all other sexualities 00:21:26.646 --> 00:21:30.646 So, those were 13 myths busted! Um, I hope you enjoyed that! 00:21:30.646 --> 00:21:35.062 Uh, Alice, if people want to know more about what you do, or find you on the Internet, 00:21:35.062 --> 00:21:36.335 where should they be looking? 00:21:36.335 --> 00:21:41.375 You can come and follow me on Twitter or Instagram @aliceoseman, or 00:21:41.375 --> 00:21:46.743 you can find out more about Loveless, [chuckles] or any of my other books, uh, 00:21:46.743 --> 00:21:48.853 on my website, aliceoseman.com. 00:21:48.853 --> 00:21:52.270 In the comments, I would love to hear about the types of aromantic and asexual 00:21:52.270 --> 00:21:54.921 characters you would like to see represented in media. 00:21:54.921 --> 00:21:57.841 As always, if you would like to help support me make these videos, 00:21:57.841 --> 00:22:00.951 I'll leave a link to my Patreon, uh, as well as all my social media, so 00:22:00.951 --> 00:22:04.271 you can find me all over the Internet. And, until I see you next time, bye!