0:00:00.000,0:00:04.068 When it comes to identities and[br]experiences that we haven't come across 0:00:04.068,0:00:06.833 in real life or been taught about [br]in schools, we tend to rely on 0:00:06.833,0:00:10.833 the media to teach us about them.[br]Now, this media might be documentaries, 0:00:10.833,0:00:14.833 or news reports- things that are factual-[br]or fictional books, TV shows, 0:00:14.833,0:00:18.385 or films. Now, sometimes, the media[br]produced about these identities 0:00:18.385,0:00:22.763 or experiences is empathy-filled.[br]It's got accurate information based 0:00:22.763,0:00:27.708 on lived experiences and deep research,[br]but sometimes, [it] doesn't. 0:00:27.708,0:00:32.191 This kind of flawed representation [br]in media might replicate damaging tropes, 0:00:32.191,0:00:34.562 or include the spread of misinformation. 0:00:34.562,0:00:37.642 The importance of representation[br]is something that I talk about a lot 0:00:37.642,0:00:41.642 on this channel, and that's the reason [br]that I wanted to make this video today. 0:00:41.642,0:00:46.342 What happens to identities and experiences[br]that we might not see around us, 0:00:46.342,0:00:51.029 that we aren't taught about in schools,[br]and don't have much representation 0:00:51.029,0:00:54.933 in the media. Well, it turns out a lot[br]of myths and misconceptions start to form. 0:00:54.933,0:00:58.342 When you look for media with asexual[br]and aromantic protagonists in [them], 0:00:58.342,0:01:02.990 it's almost impossible. A lot of lists of [br]any ace or aro characters will be 0:01:02.990,0:01:07.763 side characters or characters that are[br]just headcanoned to be that by their fans, 0:01:07.763,0:01:10.063 not anything that's explicit in the text [br]itself. 0:01:10.063,0:01:13.594 And that is why I was so excited when I [br]got sent this new book in the post. 0:01:13.594,0:01:17.594 It's called Loveless, by Alice Oseman,[br]and it has an aroace protagonist. 0:01:17.594,0:01:19.996 I read this book in like a day.[br]I know it's the ultimate cliche- 0:01:19.996,0:01:21.836 couldn't put it down.[br]I genuinely couldn't. 0:01:21.836,0:01:26.669 As an asexual lesbian, this was the kind[br]of representation I had never seen before 0:01:26.669,0:01:29.863 and it just made me feel so seen. 0:01:29.863,0:01:33.576 So if this sort of aro/ace coming of age [br]novel, with multiple queer characters, 0:01:33.576,0:01:38.284 um, a Shakespeare play, because you know [br]the queers love a good Shakespeare play, 0:01:38.284,0:01:41.206 amazing female friendships,[br]if that kind of appeals to you, 0:01:41.206,0:01:43.311 oh my God, check this book out.[br]You will not regret it. 0:01:43.311,0:01:46.111 So I reached out initially to see if Alice[br]would be interested in being in like 0:01:46.111,0:01:50.513 a debunking, uh, video, and Harper Collins [br]very generously offered to just sponsor 0:01:50.513,0:01:53.696 this whole video. Um, so, I'm going to [br]leave a link in the description 0:01:53.696,0:01:56.473 for you to find out more about the book,[br]or buy it if you want, cause it is out now. 0:01:56.473,0:01:59.771 And without further ado[br]let's bust some myths! 0:01:59.771,0:02:02.215 So what do we mean by asexual [br]and aromantic? 0:02:02.215,0:02:05.033 Well there are different definitions[br]and different wordings, 0:02:05.033,0:02:06.993 but here is what we're gonna go with: 0:02:28.551,0:02:29.551 It's worth noting that 0:02:36.270,0:02:39.750 And if you're still confused, hopefully[br]the rest of this video will clear up 0:02:39.750,0:02:42.622 any misunderstandings or myths[br]that you might've heard. 0:02:46.367,0:02:47.617 And you have to be both. 0:02:48.133,0:02:51.373 So hopefully the definitions have sort of [br]busted this myth for us, 0:02:51.373,0:02:54.886 but aromanticism and asexuality[br]are different things. 0:02:54.886,0:02:58.886 So, you can be both, you can be neither,[br]or you could be one or the other. 0:02:58.932,0:03:04.217 So, some people feel that their romantic[br]attraction and their sexual attraction 0:03:04.217,0:03:08.217 are very similar, or they feel like[br]the same thing so a lot of gay, 0:03:08.217,0:03:14.074 and straight and bi and pan people[br]feel like their attraction is kind of- 0:03:14.074,0:03:16.739 their romantic and sexual attraction is[br]linked together, 0:03:16.739,0:03:21.168 but often for asexual and aromantic, [br]and people of other sexualities, 0:03:21.168,0:03:25.168 um, they just feel like two different[br]things. But again, not always. 0:03:25.168,0:03:30.338 Like for me, I'm aromantic and asexual[br]and I feel like they're quite linked 0:03:30.338,0:03:33.768 together, they feel like a similar thing-[br]part of a similar thing to me. 0:03:33.768,0:03:37.698 Um, so yeah, just remember it varies for[br]different people. 0:03:37.698,0:03:41.698 Yeah, exactly! So you may have sexual[br]attraction to all genders. 0:03:41.698,0:03:46.362 You might, for that example, identify as[br]pansexual, um, but only for romantic 0:03:46.362,0:03:49.810 attraction towards one gender.[br]There are also other kinds of attraction 0:03:49.810,0:03:52.670 that again, for a lot of people, are all[br]bundled up into one. 0:03:52.670,0:03:56.610 Uh, things like aesthetic attraction, so[br]attraction to the way that someone looks, 0:03:56.610,0:04:01.650 or sensual attraction, a desire for [br]touch which isn't necessarily sexual but 0:04:01.650,0:04:05.898 sensual in nature. And again you might[br]experience all, none, or a mixture 0:04:05.898,0:04:07.509 of these different types of attraction. 0:04:12.321,0:04:17.308 Obviously, this is very untrue. Um, [br]asexuality is not the same thing 0:04:17.308,0:04:21.559 as just choosing not to have sex.[br]It's not the same thing as abstinence 0:04:21.559,0:04:26.609 or celibacy, or anything like that.[br]Um, I think it's important to remember 0:04:26.609,0:04:32.496 that asexuality is about a lack of[br]attraction. It's nothing to do with choice 0:04:32.496,0:04:37.183 or deciding not to have sex.[br]Um, and it's also worth remembering 0:04:37.183,0:04:40.214 that lots of asexuals do have sex anyway.[br][Chuckles] 0:04:44.895,0:04:47.961 So I think that this myth comes from the[br]idea that people who do experience 0:04:47.961,0:04:51.725 sexual attraction know that at one point[br]when they were younger, they didn't, 0:04:51.725,0:04:54.890 and so they assume that everyone who[br]doesn't is just on the same journey 0:04:54.890,0:04:58.890 as them, and it's just a matter of time,[br]but that is not necessarily the case. 0:04:58.922,0:05:03.204 So the idea of being a late bloomer[br]is actually something that comes up a lot 0:05:03.204,0:05:06.362 in my book, Loveless, which you can see[br]in the corner here. 0:05:06.362,0:05:10.662 Um, it's something that the protagonist,[br]Georgia, worries about a lot. 0:05:10.697,0:05:16.719 She, especially at first, she thinks, "Oh[br]well, I can't be asexual, I'm just a late 0:05:16.719,0:05:20.799 bloomer," like, I just need to wait and[br]until I find the right person. 0:05:20.799,0:05:25.773 But it's actually this idea that kind of[br]hinders her on her journey, 0:05:25.773,0:05:32.650 and it's actively kind of harmful to her to[br]in helping her discover her sexuality, 0:05:32.650,0:05:38.950 so, yeah, I think it's not a good idea to be[br]telling asexuals that they're just 0:05:38.950,0:05:40.981 late bloomers cause it's not helpful. 0:05:40.981,0:05:44.314 Yeah, I think this brushing off of people[br]who have a sincerely held identity 0:05:44.314,0:05:47.200 is quite infantilizing or dismissive[br]of the way that they feel. 0:05:47.200,0:05:53.390 And yeah, it also means that people are[br]put in a position where they might be 0:05:53.390,0:05:57.869 starting to question whether they could be[br]aromantic or asexual and this kinda 0:05:57.869,0:06:01.213 cuts them off from the exploration by[br]saying, "No, no, that's not what you are, 0:06:01.213,0:06:03.653 you're this, you just haven't reached[br]that stage yet." 0:06:03.653,0:06:07.199 Um, so I think that it's always really[br]healthy to keep options open 0:06:07.199,0:06:13.206 to make sure that people can really look[br]into, um, explore and research different 0:06:13.206,0:06:15.842 identities to see what fits them rather[br]than just saying to them, 0:06:15.842,0:06:19.842 "Don't worry, you'll be that normal one.[br]You just gotta wait a bit longer before 0:06:19.842,0:06:20.759 it happens." 0:06:20.759,0:06:25.722 It's also one of my personal pet peeves[br]that people find out that I'm aroace 0:06:25.722,0:06:32.714 and they just assume that I'm like a baby,[br]who cannot even deal with the idea of 0:06:32.714,0:06:38.554 talking or hearing about sex or romance.[br]Um, it's just very annoying like 0:06:38.554,0:06:43.078 I'm 25 years old, I know what sex is![br][chuckles] 0:06:43.078,0:06:46.143 Um, so yeah, that's just very annoying. 0:06:50.934,0:06:53.611 I feel like this is quite similar to the[br]last one. The big issue with it 0:06:53.611,0:06:56.912 is that it really invalidates people's[br]experiences, the way that their- 0:06:56.912,0:06:58.483 and their identities as well. 0:06:58.483,0:07:01.839 Um, yeah, I think that this is the same[br]argument that's tossed out [to] 0:07:01.839,0:07:07.369 a lot of other sexualities, like gay people[br]and bi people. Um, everyone who's 0:07:07.369,0:07:10.837 not straight kind of gets told, like,[br]this is just a phase, 0:07:10.837,0:07:16.069 you'll just grow out of it one day.[br]Um, and I mean, sometimes, sexuality 0:07:16.069,0:07:18.911 and identity does change over time[br]but often it doesn't, 0:07:18.911,0:07:23.428 and going around telling people,[br]"Oh, no, it's okay, you'll change one day," 0:07:23.428,0:07:26.499 "you'll grow out this,"[br]that's just not helpful to anyone. 0:07:26.499,0:07:29.885 Yeah, our people- [there are] a lot of people who[br]identify one way and then they identify 0:07:29.885,0:07:33.885 a different way, and that doesn't mean[br]those identities are inherently a phase, 0:07:33.885,0:07:37.885 or that was a lie; that was how you[br]sincerely identified at the time, 0:07:37.885,0:07:39.983 or the way in which you wanted to [br]label yourself. 0:07:39.983,0:07:43.983 I think that like we would never say[br]that just because someone used to identify 0:07:43.983,0:07:46.594 as straight and now identifies as gay,[br]that being straight is a phase, 0:07:46.594,0:07:50.740 um, and so I think that we can all[br]understand that that's not the case 0:07:50.740,0:07:52.256 with other sexualities either. 0:08:01.433,0:08:06.165 So there's a bit in Loveless where[br]Georgia, the protagonist, is Googling 0:08:06.165,0:08:11.691 asexuality and aromanticism for the [br]first time, and she is just bombarded 0:08:11.691,0:08:17.828 with information, um and she says something[br]like, you know, being asexual wasn't- 0:08:17.828,0:08:23.228 it wasn't like a graph, it was like a[br]radar chart with a dozen different axes. 0:08:23.711,0:08:27.711 Um, and I think that kind of sums up[br]asexuality and aromanticism, 0:08:27.711,0:08:31.203 cause it is complicated, like there's a lot[br]to learn about it. 0:08:31.203,0:08:35.369 I think that all sexualities are not[br]just on a spectrum. Um, 0:08:35.369,0:08:38.879 like, the Kinsey scale, is probably the one[br]people have heard of most often. 0:08:38.879,0:08:43.962 Um, because there are all of these[br]different ways in which we experience 0:08:43.962,0:08:47.962 and identify and different feelings that[br]we might have at different times, 0:08:47.962,0:08:54.140 um, and I think that asexuality and[br]aromanticism is like, part of that map, 0:08:54.140,0:08:59.833 web... uh, situation. And I don't necessarily[br]think that that being that quite 0:08:59.833,0:09:02.413 complicated needs to be a scary thing[br]or a worrying thing. 0:09:02.413,0:09:05.931 I think that the reason why it's so[br]complicated is that it can be quite 0:09:05.931,0:09:10.732 freeing for people to say, "Oh wait, this[br]really specific thing that I'm feeling, 0:09:10.732,0:09:14.342 that I'm starting to articulate about[br]myself, is the same thing that someone 0:09:14.342,0:09:18.221 else is feeling, that I'm not alone,"[br]and so I don't necessarily think of it as 0:09:18.221,0:09:22.221 a scary thing, I think of it as something[br]that's quite positive to a lot of people 0:09:22.221,0:09:26.041 to have that kind of complexity available.[br]So, it's worth noting here that within the 0:09:26.041,0:09:31.040 kind of spectrum/web of asexuality[br]and aromanticism, you have, uh, identities 0:09:31.040,0:09:36.629 like demi and grey which, uh, [are] ways in which[br]people experience attraction that is 0:09:36.629,0:09:41.306 kind of- I guess, in between the two[br]extremes, in some way or another. 0:09:41.306,0:09:43.856 And I also think one of the really[br]interesting things about this web 0:09:43.856,0:09:49.031 that takes, um, experiences and wants and desires[br]into account means that we start 0:09:49.031,0:09:53.709 to unpick what heteronormativity has said [br]is normal and expected, 0:09:53.709,0:09:56.797 and you can decide the kind of things[br]that you want and don't want. 0:09:56.797,0:10:00.657 Even if you're someone who is straight,[br]there will be particular experiences- 0:10:00.672,0:10:04.542 or particular activities, or wants, or[br]sexual acts or things like that- 0:10:04.542,0:10:08.542 that are expected of you, within the[br]overarching idea of what it means 0:10:08.542,0:10:12.542 to be straight, that you don't[br]necessarily have to want or do. 0:10:12.542,0:10:14.972 And so, I think that, again, that this web is[br]something that isn't something 0:10:14.972,0:10:17.545 to be feared, but something that can really[br]be liberating to a lot of people. 0:10:22.090,0:10:25.510 Again, this is kind of following on from[br]the last myth. There is, or can be, 0:10:25.510,0:10:29.650 a difference in people's experiences,[br]their wants, their sex drive, 0:10:29.650,0:10:33.649 their desires, their identity; those [br]things don't necessarily match up. 0:10:33.649,0:10:38.579 So, this might be a repetitive point, but, um,[br]the important thing to remember about 0:10:38.579,0:10:44.005 asexuality and aromanticism is that[br]they're just a lack or little, 0:10:44.188,0:10:49.087 um, sexual or romantic attraction.[br]Uh, there's really nothing to do with 0:10:49.343,0:10:53.463 anything else. Like, even if you are[br]asexual or aromantic, you could feel 0:10:53.526,0:10:57.656 all sorts of different ways about having[br]sex, about being in relationships, 0:10:57.716,0:11:02.932 about romance, you know. Like you've[br]said, it's a big web of all different 0:11:02.932,0:11:04.186 experiences and feelings. 0:11:04.388,0:11:08.598 So, some asexual people have a sex drive[br]and a libido, some don't. 0:11:08.718,0:11:12.718 Uh, some will masturbate, some won't.[br]Some will have sex with their partners, 0:11:12.894,0:11:16.894 uh, and some won't, and the reasons for[br]that are not sexual attraction, 0:11:16.986,0:11:20.072 but other reasons. So, they might have [br]sex with their partners to feel close 0:11:20.072,0:11:23.942 to them, um, because it feels physically [br]good. Um, but yeah, 0:11:23.942,0:11:27.359 as Alice said, it's just not something[br]that's based on sexual attraction. 0:11:33.520,0:11:39.283 So obviously, this is such a myth, and [br]one of the big messages in Loveless is 0:11:39.283,0:11:43.995 that you can find a happily ever after[br]without romance, and that 0:11:44.221,0:11:48.221 platonic relationships can be just as[br]powerful and special as romantic 0:11:48.224,0:11:52.224 relationships. Um, unfortunately,[br]we live in a society where romance is 0:11:52.476,0:11:57.316 kind of lauded as the best thing ever,[br]and everyone should be aspiring 0:11:57.316,0:12:01.479 to find "the one" and fall in love and[br]have an amazing love story. 0:12:01.584,0:12:07.409 But, the reality is that, you know, some[br]people just won't feel happy experiencing 0:12:07.478,0:12:13.948 that, so we should all be able to find[br]that kind of joy and happiness in 0:12:14.002,0:12:15.743 platonic relationships as well. 0:12:20.526,0:12:24.796 Similar to the über evasive idea of, like,[br]the happily ever after romantic ending, 0:12:24.977,0:12:32.554 just our media, advertising, um, it's-[br]our humor, even, is all so based on 0:12:33.096,0:12:37.653 sex, romance, and relationships.[br]And, so, it's completely understandable 0:12:37.653,0:12:41.320 that if you are not experiencing that[br]attraction, that it might make you feel 0:12:41.320,0:12:43.984 like there's something wrong with you.[br]And, I think this is one of the really 0:12:43.984,0:12:47.121 important reasons to talk about [br]aromanticism and asexuality; 0:12:47.465,0:12:52.195 is to allow people to imagine a fulfilling[br]life that doesn't necessarily involve 0:12:52.195,0:12:56.195 those things; um, to not force yourself[br]to want to want something, 0:12:57.065,0:13:00.945 um, that doesn't come to you naturally,[br]and that isn't something that you're 0:13:00.945,0:13:03.431 going to be happy trying to strive towards. 0:13:03.431,0:13:08.392 Um, I'll just add to that- that idea kind of[br]benefits everyone, even people who 0:13:08.392,0:13:14.512 aren't asexual and aromantic. Like, feeling[br]pressured to find the perfect love story 0:13:14.512,0:13:20.972 is not a good thing for anyone, no matter your[br]sexuality, so understanding that you 0:13:21.082,0:13:25.860 shouldn't have to strive for that[br]idealized life and you should just try and 0:13:26.022,0:13:30.392 enjoy, you know, what you have[br]is a good thing for everyone. 0:13:30.729,0:13:35.473 One really big issue for the asexual[br]and aromantic communities is that 0:13:35.708,0:13:39.888 they're often seen as being mental[br]illnesses or things that need to be 0:13:40.057,0:13:46.127 treated, often by- even by doctors or[br]therapists. Um, it's just quite a big issue 0:13:46.127,0:13:49.928 in the community, um, [br]and it shouldn't be a thing. 0:13:50.074,0:13:53.404 Although it is worth noting- because[br]obviously, we love a bit of nuance, 0:13:53.451,0:13:58.371 uh, and nothing is always black and white-[br]um, but there will be people who experience, 0:13:58.472,0:14:03.292 um, asexuality because of trauma,[br]and that's something that might last 0:14:03.350,0:14:05.650 a short amount of time, it might be[br]something that's with them for a long 0:14:05.650,0:14:10.684 amount of time, um, and this doesn't negate [br]or undermine people who identify 0:14:10.684,0:14:16.104 as asexual, um, and it's my personal belief[br]that the resources and information that 0:14:16.167,0:14:20.827 are available to the asexual community [br]should be available to anyone who 0:14:20.827,0:14:25.537 experiences that in any way, um, if that is [br]something that they think is going to 0:14:25.628,0:14:28.702 help them. Um, so, it's one of those things[br]that need a bit of nuance, 0:14:28.714,0:14:32.234 that there- it's not inherently a mental[br]illness, but there may be some people 0:14:32.234,0:14:35.827 that experience it for reasons other than[br]it being their inherent sexuality, 0:14:36.057,0:14:38.245 and those things can coexist together. 0:14:42.541,0:14:47.704 Uh, so being sex-positive- the idea that you[br]support people owning their sexuality 0:14:47.704,0:14:52.475 and doing what they want with regards[br]to sex- um, there's no reason why asexuals 0:14:52.475,0:14:57.725 would be against that at all. [br]Um, in Loveless, actually, the protagonist, 0:14:57.881,0:15:04.806 Georgia, uh, her roommate at university[br]is very, very sex-positive, very outgoing, 0:15:04.928,0:15:09.748 she likes to express herself sexually a lot. [br][chuckles] 0:15:09.834,0:15:13.834 Um, and I wanted that to be one of the most[br]important relationships in the story, 0:15:13.877,0:15:18.867 because it- even though Georgia and[br]her roommate, Roonie, they have very 0:15:18.922,0:15:23.751 different experiences and feelings about[br]sex and about relationships, they can 0:15:23.751,0:15:27.751 still respect each other and learn a lot[br]from each other, um, and that's how 0:15:28.206,0:15:29.226 things should be. 0:15:29.226,0:15:32.956 Being asexual, again, it's not a moral[br]choice, um, and therefore it's not a 0:15:32.956,0:15:35.982 choice that you can then impose on other[br]people, or a kind of morality you can- 0:15:35.982,0:15:39.593 you would want to impose on other people,[br]um, just because there are some asexual 0:15:39.593,0:15:44.051 people who are never gonna have sex, or[br]might be what's called sex-repulsed, 0:15:44.051,0:15:47.890 so, for them personally, it's never [br]something that they want to participate in, 0:15:47.890,0:15:52.620 but it's not then a feeling that they are[br]going to project onto other people, 0:15:52.631,0:15:57.123 or expect other people to feel as well.[br]Um, so yeah, completely a myth. 0:16:03.507,0:16:07.507 Hello, it's me, the creator of a YA[br]romance graphic novel series. 0:16:07.509,0:16:14.769 [Laughs] Um, yeah, this is completely a myth.[br]Like, I love reading and watching romance movies 0:16:14.769,0:16:20.609 and books, um, and the protagonist of[br]Loveless, Georgia, is, you know, 0:16:20.613,0:16:24.343 in the second chapter, she's like,[br]"I love romance, I love fan fiction, 0:16:24.343,0:16:29.394 I love Disney." Just because someone is[br]asexual or aromantic doesn't mean 0:16:29.399,0:16:33.217 that they can't enjoy reading about it[br]or watching it on TV. 0:16:33.217,0:16:37.171 Again it's- it's- it's this spectrum, [br]it's different experiences that people have. 0:16:37.218,0:16:41.218 There will be some aromantic or asexual [br]people who might not be interested 0:16:41.234,0:16:42.604 in that kind of media. 0:16:47.766,0:16:51.680 So this, honestly, just sounds like [br]something that a- just a mean school 0:16:51.680,0:16:55.198 playground bully would say, and it's[br]also like 1000% untrue. 0:16:55.400,0:17:02.429 Yeah, this is definitely untrue. Um, like,[br]personally, I have had opportunities to 0:17:02.429,0:17:06.739 have a relationship, but I've always just[br]been like, "Mm... no thanks!" [chuckles] 0:17:07.224,0:17:13.403 So, yeah, it's not for lack of opportunity.[br]This is- yeah, this is just a weird 0:17:13.404,0:17:17.404 bully-ish argument that makes no sense[br]and is kind of pathetic. 0:17:17.593,0:17:22.537 [Chuckles] This is actually something that[br]aroace activist Yasmine Benoit has 0:17:22.537,0:17:28.631 talked about a lot. Um, she's a British [br]aroace activist. Uh, she goes on loads of 0:17:28.644,0:17:32.973 shows, and does loads of articles and stuff[br]specifically talking about the 0:17:32.973,0:17:38.094 misconception that asexuals have a [br]specific look or they dress a specific way. 0:17:38.451,0:17:44.991 Um, and Yasmine herself is a professional [br]model, as well, so there you go! [Laughs] 0:17:57.785,0:18:03.666 Yeah, I personally think that the complete [br]lack of representation is what contributes 0:18:03.666,0:18:09.511 to this. Um, people don't really have any[br]idea of what asexual and aromantic people 0:18:09.511,0:18:15.224 are like because they're just not on TV,[br]they're very rarely in books. Um, 0:18:15.224,0:18:20.223 and popular characters that have been, [br]you know, decided that they're asexual 0:18:20.223,0:18:24.383 by their fans are often people like [br]Sherlock from BBC's Sherlock, 0:18:24.551,0:18:28.929 Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory,[br]people who are often quite unfeeling. 0:18:28.929,0:18:35.835 Um, whereas we need more positive[br]representation of actual, well-rounded 0:18:35.835,0:18:40.958 people. Like, for example, I really liked[br]the representation, um, of an asexual 0:18:40.958,0:18:45.628 character in Season 2 of Sex Education. [br]Although it was very short, and kind of 0:18:45.628,0:18:50.565 shoe-horned in, it was actually about a [br]girl who has a whole personality. 0:18:50.565,0:18:54.415 She's passionate about theater, like,[br]she's, you know, got this whole 0:18:54.415,0:18:58.565 life, and she's not some sort of unfeeling,[br]emotionless person. 0:18:58.810,0:19:01.479 Um, that's what I think we need[br]more of, generally. 0:19:01.479,0:19:04.610 Yeah, I was really excited to see that in[br]Sex Education as well. I think they've 0:19:04.610,0:19:06.485 tackled a lot of different[br]kinds of sexualities, 0:19:06.485,0:19:09.352 and that felt quite missing for me[br]from Season 1, especially cause I know 0:19:09.352,0:19:11.934 quite a lot of people wanted the main[br]character to be asexual, so 0:19:11.934,0:19:13.764 I was really excited to see that as well. 0:19:13.764,0:19:18.797 One of the earliest adopters of [br]different, um, identities or experiences, 0:19:18.933,0:19:22.933 um, especially in the UK, is often[br]soap operas. Um, we tend to see, like, 0:19:22.984,0:19:25.953 the first kiss on-screen in the UK. [br]Like, all this stuff, they- 0:19:25.953,0:19:28.810 they always tend to be in soap operas.[br]I've talked about this before, but 0:19:28.810,0:19:31.011 for a couple of different reasons,[br]including the idea that if 0:19:31.011,0:19:35.282 the character doesn't go down well[br]they can just remove the character without 0:19:35.282,0:19:37.404 much of an issue cause there's [br]so many other characters that can 0:19:37.404,0:19:43.104 fill in their shoes, um, but it does end up[br]being quite pioneering. And, so, 0:19:43.104,0:19:46.014 we had, I think, what must be[br]one of the first asexual characters 0:19:46.014,0:19:50.684 on UK TV in 2018, with the character of[br]Liv in Emmerdale, um, who 0:19:50.684,0:19:54.708 came out as asexual. Um, I love Liv,[br]and I love the way that they 0:19:54.708,0:20:01.050 did that storyline. She has, um, her brother[br]is gay, and had a really, really pioneering 0:20:01.050,0:20:04.644 storyline. He's been on the soap since[br]he was a kid, and they kind of 0:20:04.644,0:20:07.525 followed him for his whole life so far.[br]And, so, it was really interesting 0:20:07.525,0:20:11.525 getting to see, um, a gay and asexual[br]sibling, and the way in which they 0:20:11.525,0:20:16.125 communicate with each other, explain their[br]sexualities to each other, um, and just 0:20:16.125,0:20:19.146 really love each other through everything.[br]Um, and so, yeah, to see this 0:20:19.146,0:20:23.556 teenage girl character work that out[br]about her sexuality, and try and find 0:20:23.556,0:20:26.029 a relationship with someone that[br]would understand that part of her 0:20:26.029,0:20:30.836 was, and is, really exciting to see.[br]And finally, on to our last myth! 0:20:35.966,0:20:40.741 This is just fundamentally untrue. Um,[br]that- there's been evidence of asexual 0:20:40.741,0:20:46.335 involvement in the LGBTQ+ community,[br]and movements throughout the 20th century. 0:20:46.335,0:20:53.255 Um, so, asexuality existed as a label[br]long before the invention of Tumblr, and 0:20:53.255,0:20:57.255 it's definitely a myth that Tumblr had [br]anything to do with its creation. 0:20:57.255,0:21:01.685 The Internet didn't invent asexuality[br]or aromanticism. What it has done, 0:21:01.685,0:21:07.470 however, is allow people to spread[br]information, um, and advice, and to allow 0:21:07.470,0:21:09.825 people to meet each other, and [br]to find each other, 0:21:09.825,0:21:12.128 and to make them feel less alone. 0:21:12.128,0:21:16.358 And of course, just because the words[br]didn't exist at one point, 0:21:16.358,0:21:19.816 that doesn't mean that people[br]weren't still those identities. 0:21:19.816,0:21:23.745 People will have been asexual and[br]aromantic throughout history, 0:21:23.745,0:21:26.646 just like they have been [for][br]all other sexualities 0:21:26.646,0:21:30.646 So, those were 13 myths busted! Um,[br]I hope you enjoyed that! 0:21:30.646,0:21:35.062 Uh, Alice, if people want to know more about [br]what you do, or find you on the Internet, 0:21:35.062,0:21:36.335 where should they be looking? 0:21:36.335,0:21:41.375 You can come and follow me on Twitter or [br]Instagram @aliceoseman, or 0:21:41.375,0:21:46.743 you can find out more about Loveless,[br][chuckles] or any of my other books, uh, 0:21:46.743,0:21:48.853 on my website, aliceoseman.com. 0:21:48.853,0:21:52.270 In the comments, I would love to hear[br]about the types of aromantic and asexual 0:21:52.270,0:21:54.921 characters you would like to see[br]represented in media. 0:21:54.921,0:21:57.841 As always, if you would like to help [br]support me make these videos, 0:21:57.841,0:22:00.951 I'll leave a link to my Patreon,[br]uh, as well as all my social media, so 0:22:00.951,0:22:04.271 you can find me all over the Internet. And,[br]until I see you next time, bye!