Is it actually possible to adapt a video game into a profitable film? What about a good one? This is “Movie Night”!
*theme song plays*
Hello, and welcome to “Movie Night.” I'm your host, Jonathan Paula.
Over the past two decades, nearly 30 features have been produced that were based on video games. Some were good, some were just plain terrible.
But our first movie tonight is the granddaddy of them all, the original, from 1993, "Super Mario Bros."
Starring Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo as the title brothers, this live-action film is a disappointingly unfaithful...
and off-beat adaptation of the classic Nintendo platformer from where it gets its namesake.
That being said, though, this film isn't all that bad. The late Dennis Hopper is featured as the primary villain, Koopa...
a bipedal lizard resembling a human who has evolved from dinosaurs over the last 65 million years.
His existence, including the kingdom he rules over, is thanks to a parallel dimension, where his species wasn't entirely wiped out by an asteroid collision.
When our protagonists, Mario and Luigi, two bumbling plumbers from Brooklyn, New York, accidentally find a portal to this dimension...
while looking for Luigi's recently kidnapped girlfriend, that's when things really start to get interesting.
Perhaps trying to milk the franchise they're already in the process of destroying, the film desperately attempts to work in...
as many references to the iconic game franchise as possible, no matter how ridiculous or pointless those references may be.
Toad appears as a street performer who is then later de-evolved by the evil Koopa into a small-headed henchman this film refers to as a "Goomba."
Throughout Koopa Kingdom, there are subtle references to the game, like a sign for Bullet Bills and Thwomps...
and Mario even dispatches the help of a miniature Bob-omb at the end of the movie.
Mostly, though, these classic Mario baddies only appear in name, and never in any capacity that would feel familiar to fans of the original game itself.
In that respect, "Super Mario Bros." is almost disrespectful to its source material, and really one of the worst "video game films" ever made.
However, if you completely disregard this poor adaptation and focus merely on the film itself as a stand-alone production...
it is surprisingly creative, original, and filled with some impressive visuals.
And although resembling nothing like the Mushroom Kingdom from the game series, the parallel dimension portrayed here...
is vividly detailed and explored, a truly unique world that blends ‘80s counterculture with an Orwellian society of oppressive police and limited free speech.
Our plumber heroes are loveable and well-developed, making their bizarre exploits easier to root for.
The action and special effects are pretty well-executed here, too, especially for a film nearly 20 years old.
If you completely ignore the title, the movie isn't half-bad. Sadly, though, it isn't half-good, either.
"Super Mario Bros."- "Disappointingly unfaithful, but still enjoyable."
Well, that was my review. Now, let's read some of yours from the YouTube comments.
Here's the Rate-o-Matic now, to show us how we both scored "Super Mario Bros."
A “4” and a “3”! As a Mario film, this movie is patently terrible. As a sci-fi action/adventure movie, though? It's actually pretty watch-able. I thought it was "meh.”
The majority of you were decidedly unimpressed with this movie, but some of you did think it was alright. Your scores averaged out to a "bad.”
Our second video game-turned-movie tonight is 2001's "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider."
Starring Angelina Jolie in the title role that made her a household name, “Tomb Raider” is about Lara's quest...
to solve an ancient mystery before some evil bad guys within the Illuminati get there first.
It's a very simple archeology/adventure plot that bears incredible similarity to the “Indiana Jones” films, as well as the more recent “National Treasure” series.
Although not terribly original or groundbreaking, "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" not only spawned a successful sequel...
it also holds the distinction of being the most successful video game adaptation, based on domestic box-office gross.
The original Sega Saturn platformer/puzzle game was released in 1996, and this film does a decent enough job of staying faithful to its limited source material.
Much to the fanboy's delight, Jolie's chest size also stayed relatively faithful to its almost unworldly CGI counterpart.
Like all good exploration/adventure films, Lara spends ample amounts of screen time globetrotting around the world...
while director Simon West makes excellent use of the environments of Cambodia, Venice, and Siberia.
Jolie's real-life father, Jon Voight, shows up in a limited, dream-only role as Lara's father, seemingly lending a bit of credibility to a film...
that deals with 10-foot robots, magical sword-swinging statues, and time travel.
With exposition that is hastily delivered in an almost insultingly obvious way, "Tomb Raider" often goes ten or more minutes of time...
without any significant dialogue delivered, relying entirely on its action sequences to captivate the viewer.
Luckily, most of the action in this movie is exciting, with the characters making clever use of their environments in many of the scenes.
When the bad guys break into Lara's mansion early in the film, she happens to be in the middle of some trapeze-like acrobatic training...
suspended from the ceiling from two giant bungee cords. The ensuing fight sequence that takes place...
with Lara flying around the room and running up the walls while choking the intruders with these ropes, is not only original, but also incredibly fun to watch.
With plenty of gunfire and ancient statues coming to life, the film relies heavily on its visual effects in many scenes.
Unfortunately, the film's use of low frame-rate, slow-motion shots just look amateurish, and ruin an otherwise impressive visual effects sequence.
If you're a fan of Jolie's bosomy physique, or the “Indiana Jones” series, this film definitely won't disappoint.
"Tomb Raider"- "Exciting adventures with a hot chick."
Well, that's what I thought about this film. Now, let's see what you had to say about it in the YouTube comments.
Once again, the Rate-o-Matic, to rank "Tomb Raider.”
A “6” and a “7”! This movie is far from being a masterpiece of cinema, but it delivers with some good popcorn action that doesn't fail to entertain. I thought it was "good.”
Most of you agreed, praising Jolie's beauty in the title role, even if the film wasn't terribly amazing, otherwise. You thought it was "cool.”
Well, that does it for tonight's films. So, now, let's take a look at what currently playing in theaters, with some Tweet Critiques.
Remember, if you're going to the movies this week, make sure to submit your Twitter review, using the #JPMN hashtag, to have it featured on an upcoming episode.
Thanks to your suggestions on Facebook and Twitter, next week, we'll be taking a look at two classic "disaster" films...
the first of which is the Academy Award winner for Best Visual Effects in 1996, "Twister," starring Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton.
Our second film is the preposterously laughable sci-fi film from 2003, "The Core,” starring Aaron Eckhart and Hilary Swank.
As always, I encourage you to buy, rent, or download these films, and then let me know what you think about them by voting in the polls below, or by leaving me a comment review.
Once again, my name is Jonathan Paula. Thank you for watching “Movie Night.” I hope to see you right back here next Friday!
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*Click on episode #272 to see why Rapunzel thinks orange is a safe color!*