0:00:00.054,0:00:02.058
Hey, guys! So I watch [br]a lot of scary movies now,
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and, honestly, I used to hate [br]them when I was younger.
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But now then I started making videos [br]and realized how fake they are.
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Now I actually enjoy them, [br]but I'm not gonna lie.
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In the back of my mind, [br]whenever I'm watching horror movies,
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I want to get scared, but I'm thinking [br]of all these other random scenarios
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of how the movie could've went instead.
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Just like every single October, I go [br]on a horror movie watching spree.
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Horror, not whore.[br]HOR-ROR.
0:00:20.715,0:00:21.787
Hodor. [br](deep voice) Hodor.
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But the majority of the time, I kinda [br]just ruin the movie for myself
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'cause instead of just sitting [br]there and falling into the story
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of the movie, I'm always [br]looking for other things.
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How did they make that?[br]How did they do that effect?
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Who made those costumes?[br]I wonder how long that person
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had to sit in makeup.[br]I bet this was going to happen.
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I still don't know what the fox says!
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But the thing that ruins it the most [br]for me is that when I'm watching
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these movies, I'm always [br]thinking of other scenarios
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of how the movie could've went.[br]And because I've been watching
0:00:41.821,0:00:44.470
so many horror movies lately,[br]I've been jotting all these ideas down
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on my phone, and that's why[br]this video was created.
0:00:46.652,0:00:49.442
So for all of you who watch horror movies,[br]I'm sorry, I don't mean to ruin
0:00:49.442,0:00:50.466
the movie for you guys.
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But on the bright side,[br]for all of you people who hate
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scary movies and can't watch them,[br]hopefully you can watch this video
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and it'll ruin the horror movies for you[br]the same way it does for me.
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So with that being said, this is what[br]horror movies would be like
0:01:00.226,0:01:01.201
if they weren't scary.
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Mwahahahaha!
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(high-pitched laugh)
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♪ (scary music) ♪
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♪ (upbeat reggae) ♪
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(thunder rumbles)
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(screaming)
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You'll never stop me!
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- Begone, demon![br]- Give me back my daughter!
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Your daughter's already gone!
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You are not welcome in this realm!
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Begone, demon! [br]Leave this girl alone!
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You'll never get rid [br]of me, you filthy priest!
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(growling)
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By the name of God, and/or any [br]other religion that you believe in,
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because we respect other people's religion[br]and do not judge...
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By the power vested in me,[br]I now pronounce you
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husband and wiiiiiiiife!
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(room grows quiet)
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Sorry, I kinda spilled[br]a little bit on the bed.
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Wait, do that again.
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(shrieking)
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I think she's weakened by water.
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Huh. Well, whaddya know!
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All those deaths could've been [br]avoided if we just used water.
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(demon continues shrieking)
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♪ (cheerful music) ♪
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(laughter)
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(shrieking)
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Hold on, this is taking too long.[br]I have a really good idea.
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- What?[br]- Remember that one trend we were gonna do?
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(gasping)
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(groaning)
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Hey, whazzup?[br]It's your boy, the priest,
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and we got the demon right here,[br]who volunteered to do the ALS
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Ice Bucket Challenge.[br]So here we go.
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♪ (upbeat reggae) ♪
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(saw buzzes)
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(gun shot)
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Ow! What was that?
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- See?[br]- Oooh!
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It hurts, huh?
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This is Texas.[br]Everybody has a gun.
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It's time to upgrade, man.
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(groaning)
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♪ (upbeat reggae) ♪
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They say after you watch this tape,[br]someone calls your house and says,
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"Seven days."
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Then a little girl crawls out of your TV[br]and kills you seven days later.
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♪ (ominous music) ♪
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Gotta be really honest with you...
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this entire legend sounds really outdated.
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You said I have to watch this tape.[br]How am I gonna do that?
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I don't have a VCR.[br]Nobody watches tapes anymore.
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This little girl needs to upgrade[br]to a DVD, or at least a Blu-ray.
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And you said somebody's [br]gonna call my house?
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Nobody can call my house.[br]I don't have a landline.
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If anything, she would have to call[br]my cellphone, and I'm not gonna
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answer some random phone number![br]And then you said she's gonna
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crawl out of my TV.[br]Nobody watches TV anymore!
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Maybe if she crawled out of my laptop.[br]And that's a 15 inch screen
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she would have to crawl through.[br]She would have to be really small.
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If a girl that small were to kill me--
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Ow! What the hell, dude?!
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There. Ebola.[br]Now you really have seven days.
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I don't know why I even told you.
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(mutters angrily)
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♪ (upbeat reggae) ♪
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(panting)
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♪ (ominous music) ♪
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(gasps)
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Hmm.
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Hmm.
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- (snaps camera)[br]- Hmm.
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(shutter clicks repeatedly)
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♪ (whimsical music) ♪
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♪ (upbeat reggae) ♪
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(whimpering)
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(monster groans)
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Oh...my...god!
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You're aca-perfect!
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Guys, I am telling you.[br]She's gonna be perfect for the bass.
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But is she pitch perfect material?
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Show 'em.
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(low pitched groan)
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Whoa!
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That is deep!
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- What'd I tell you?[br]- Impressive.
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- Nice.[br]- Dubstep routine on one.
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Five, six, seven, eight.
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♪ (dubstepping) ♪
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♪ (upbeat reggae) ♪
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(birds chirp)
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- (baaing)[br]- Shut up! Shhh. Shh. Shhh. Shhhh.
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♪ (upbeat reggae) ♪
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I don't know how to put this.
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I don't believe your son [br]is actually in a coma.
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I don't understand.[br]We moved,
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and these things keep happening![br]Why do they keep following us?
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Because it's not the house that's haunted.
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It's your son.
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♪ (ominous music) ♪
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(snoring)
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There we go.
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What? You heard him.[br]There's nothing we could've done.
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He was insidious.
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But now he's outsidious.
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(panned laughter)
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♪ (upbeat reggae) ♪
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Spirit of the realm...
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are there any of you with us right now?
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It says, "Ye."
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Can you show us a sign that you're here?
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(gasping)
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♪ (mystic chanting) ♪
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Maybe it was...maybe it was the wind.
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Can you show us another [br]sign that you're here?
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♪ (mystic chanting) ♪
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I told you.
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Why do they keep coming to me?
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I think it...I think it likes you!
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- Heh.[br]- What? No, you guys don't know that for sure.
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Come on, man.[br]The chocolate and the roses?
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- It does like you.[br]- You think so?
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Aw, look, he's blushing. (chuckles)
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I mean...I...
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♪ (romantic music) ♪
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And that was the first time we met.
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I couldn't take my eyes off her[br]because, well,
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they were never on her.
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But even though I couldn't see her,[br]I knew...I had to see her again.
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Ugh.
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(Nigahiga sighs heavily)
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You're...
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even more beautiful [br]than I could've ever imagined.
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(gasps)
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♪ (romantic music) ♪
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(gasps)
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(panting)
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(groans) What a crazy nightmare.
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Thank god it's over, though.
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(raspy voice) Or is it?
0:07:44.579,0:07:45.922
(gasps)
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(frantic breathing)
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Oh man.
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This is really starting to get craz--
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(low pitched groaning)
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(gasps)
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(gasping continues)
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- Eee![br]- (gasps)
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- (gasping)[br]- ♪ (dubstep beat) ♪
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(bleating)
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Are you sure she's pitch-perfect material?
0:08:04.679,0:08:07.420
- ♪ (dubstep) ♪[br]- Oh, that is deep.
0:08:07.870,0:08:09.382
Yeah, that got weird fast.
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And that last one about the Ouija board,[br]that was just based off the trailer
0:08:12.179,0:08:14.119
that they're playing [br]on the TV all the time now.
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On the--I said on the TV.[br]I sound like a 60 year old man.
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They play that on the TV, right?
0:08:18.411,0:08:20.433
It's getting even weirder![br]I'm just gonna stop while I'm ahead.
0:08:20.433,0:08:21.964
I'm not ahead.[br]I'm behind!
0:08:21.964,0:08:23.305
But thank you guys, again,[br]so much for watching.
0:08:23.305,0:08:25.483
I hope you guys have [br]a very happy and safe Halloween.
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And for once, in my YouTube life,[br]on a Halloween related video,
0:08:30.467,0:08:33.488
I'm not gonna put up [br]one of those scary, loud images.
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You know, that scares the crap [br]out of you guys in three, two, one.
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Like I said, I'm not gonna do it.
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For once.
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Which is weird.
0:08:44.075,0:08:46.269
(dead air)
0:08:46.269,0:08:48.938
It's actually even more scary, I think,[br]that I'm not doing that,
0:08:48.938,0:08:50.536
'cause it's like, [br]"What is he gonna do?"
0:08:50.536,0:08:52.018
You know?
0:08:52.905,0:08:54.167
(sighs)
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Teehee!
0:08:56.878,0:08:58.259
So thank you guys so much for watching.[br]If you wanna see...
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(shrieking)
0:08:59.288,0:09:00.990
..bloopers and behind-the-scenes,[br]click the one on the left.
0:09:00.990,0:09:02.581
If you want to see last week's video,[br]click the one on the right.
0:09:02.581,0:09:04.256
And if you want to see anything[br]that's Halloween related,
0:09:04.256,0:09:07.437
there's no place else to click,[br]so just click one of those.
0:09:07.437,0:09:08.820
- Ha ha.[br]- (low pitched groan)
0:09:08.820,0:09:10.142
- And remember--[br]- (low pitch groan)
0:09:10.142,0:09:11.231
Shut up, Derek!
0:09:11.231,0:09:12.101
[captioned by www.facebook.com/subtitleyoutube]