You know Sammy Davis is always singing "What kind of fool am I?" I'll tell you what kind of fool Sammy is! He asked me to invite Don Rickles here tonight! Sammy you asked for him, and you got him! Ladies and gentlemen, here's the man whose sense of humour is as twisted as Karl Malden's nose! Mr.Don Rickles! I wish you wouldn't touch me Sammy! You people rust! It's a...it's a wonderful treat to be able to...this wonderful black man... Sam I kid you! We know each other a lot of years, really! And I love the black people! We need you people! I swear! Because no Jew's going to make up a train! My kid, Sammy! You're a black man! Now, took a guess! But I think... you ain't black, you fell into a bucket of M&Ms, I'll tell you that! You and my good friend Freddie Prinze, he's your buddy...and we need the Puerto Rican people! I quote the greats...The greats!The words of a great Puerto Rican, Manuel Cortes, who said to me in New York: "Do you want a coffee?" Look at this! The Puerto Rican and the coloured guy are making plans:" We'll rule the Jew!" Now! I kid though! Look at this wonderful day list! Frank Gorshin whose whole life was Burt Lancaster! Joey Bishop who passed away and wasn't told about it! Wilt Chamberlain, I say from the bottom of my heart! You can move into my neighbourhood anytime you want! "Watch out!" Imagine this guy? Standing in front of the..."Hey, hey, hey! Anybody eat those peas? I'll eat them!Eat them pea! Ha! Ha! Ha!" I kid you Wilt! And why? 'Cause you can hurt me! Now! Now! You gotta know Dean! I'll make you feel at home! Youngstown, Ohio, right? What was that town you're coming from? Steubenville? Why? That's better? Anyway...Steubenville, Ohio! (Imitating factory whistle): Uooooooooo! Lunch! Now!You can borrow my idol since I'm a kid but now Milton (Berle) I say this from the bottom of my heart: Show business and your life, thyself be thee with your new book; love thee nor byself Milton! He's old, he understands! I've based my whole humour..I'm laughing at bigotry, I'm laughing at Wilt Chamberlain, "Ha, ha, ha!" but if you don't laugh back, it's not funny! I laugh at the blacks, the whites, the purples....mostly the blacks! Remember the words of George Foreman who said after the Muhammad Ali fight: " Was that down?" 'd pass that Sam? To the black people! Remember the words of a great niggro, Johnson Johns, who said in Biloxi, Mississippi on a Saturday night: "If the white man and the niggro can't walk in harmony, the people know that the white folk and in harmony with love..." (shrugging his shoulders) (laughters) Man is now in State Hospital. We laugh! Why do we laugh? Black and whites... (Dean Martin): ..because we must laugh! That's right! Look who became the priest! No, you're a Catholic and I'm a Jew and Sammy, you are black...I'm sorry! Remember the words of a great niggro - I say that honestly! - "All peoples are alike!". You live in my neighbourhood, I live in yours! Right, Sam? (Sammy Davis Jr.): Right! Are you crazy?? That doesn't matter! It's what is in your heart! Right Sam? Be proud! Love! We kiss, we hug! Eh...Any black on my lips? (Dean Martin): When Sammy met his wife, Altovise, she was a struggling young dancer in this night club act! Altovise! Altovise! Couldn't you marry someone with a simpler name like Saphire?? Ladies and gentleman here's a surprise for our "Man of the Hour"... I'd like to bring on Sammy's lovely wife, Altavise Davis! I've heard almost every word that you people on the day list said about my old man, and all I can say is "Right on!" You can all kid Sammy but I'll have you know that he is personally creating jobs for a lot of people nobody else would hire. His tailors! Ladies and gentlemen Now's the moment that I wait for every night; I'd like to present MY Numero Uno, My Mr. Wonderful, my husband, Sammy Davis Jr.! Thank you! I would...first of all, like to thank a man that I love, very, very much for giving me this honour Mr. Dean Martin! I mean it! I mean that! One of the great joys of being forty-five years in this business is to have people who love you make fun of you! That is one of the great joys!! 'Cause the day they don't make fun of you that means they don't give a damn about you! I thank you! That's it! Thank you very much! Mr. Sammy Davis Jr., ladies and gentlemen!!