WEBVTT 00:00:03.965 --> 00:00:08.539 <Breaking Bad Habits> 00:00:08.539 --> 00:00:12.251 (Questioner) I'm very glad to see you again. 00:00:12.251 --> 00:00:18.827 Thank you for all the help you've provided for me and a lot of people. 00:00:18.827 --> 00:00:22.929 Definitely, your wisdom is very much appreaciated and accepted. 00:00:22.929 --> 00:00:32.124 I'm doing pretty good lately and, at times, I feel a lot of equanimity. 00:00:32.124 --> 00:00:38.626 While there is a lot of peace of mind, there's always a voice behind like that. 00:00:38.626 --> 00:00:45.442 I'm afraid to go back to my old habits. 00:00:45.442 --> 00:01:00.114 Even though I've improved a lot, I do revert back to my old habits at times, 00:01:00.114 --> 00:01:05.896 and feel frustrated in those moments. 00:01:05.896 --> 00:01:12.627 Practice has been incredible with easing my mental afflictions, 00:01:12.627 --> 00:01:28.538 especially doing a lot of reflections allowed me to experience equanimity. 00:01:28.538 --> 00:01:34.342 And I have been able to enjoy the peace for a few weeks. 00:01:34.342 --> 00:01:40.871 Still, there's always a nervousness that I'm going to fall back 00:01:40.871 --> 00:01:51.184 to the old habitual patterns, and I worry about how easy it is 00:01:51.184 --> 00:01:53.924 to go back to the old patterns. 00:01:53.924 --> 00:02:03.480 Why is it so difficult to break these habits? 00:02:03.480 --> 00:02:15.930 (Sunim) Has your relationship with your daughter improved and 00:02:15.930 --> 00:02:21.980 were you able to let go of the issues that were hanging over that relationship? 00:02:21.980 --> 00:02:24.150 (Questioner) Yes. 00:02:24.150 --> 00:02:31.160 (Sunim) That's great. Let me ask you a question. 00:02:31.160 --> 00:02:49.456 Which one is more likely to succeed, trying something for the first time, 00:02:49.456 --> 00:03:02.380 or trying what you have succeeded previously and going at it again? 00:03:02.380 --> 00:03:11.511 (Questioner) Sometimes it's more difficult to go back and repeat all these patterns. 00:03:11.511 --> 00:03:19.013 Sometimes it's a little easier, but let's call it easier to go through new things. 00:03:19.013 --> 00:03:31.523 Still there's some difficulty in that too, but it gives a better outcome. 00:03:31.523 --> 00:03:40.263 (Sunim) You've experienced some tough times in your life. 00:03:40.263 --> 00:03:50.510 Nevertheless, you have applied yourself to practice 00:03:50.510 --> 00:03:54.675 and came to a place where you have a peace of mind. 00:03:54.675 --> 00:04:11.870 You mentioned that you're still worried about reverting back. 00:04:11.870 --> 00:04:17.425 Even if you do go back to your old habits, would it be as severe as it once had been 00:04:17.425 --> 00:04:20.190 or would be a little better than what it used to be? 00:04:20.190 --> 00:04:24.739 (Questioner) I'll be definitely better knowing what I now know. 00:04:24.739 --> 00:04:31.294 Whatever I did to overcome my mental attachments, I'm much better off in many ways. 00:04:31.294 --> 00:04:39.651 I am so glad that I went through the work, 00:04:39.651 --> 00:04:46.989 because I definitely think I am at a bettter place. 00:04:46.989 --> 00:05:33.651 (Sunim) Let's say, you started off at minus 10, 00:05:33.651 --> 00:05:39.181 then you worked yourself all the way up to plus 10. 00:05:39.181 --> 00:05:45.266 Even if you relapse, as you are concerned, you won't relapse all the way to minus 10, 00:05:45.266 --> 00:05:52.347 you'll relapse maybe to minus 5, but your starting point is now at minus 5. 00:05:52.347 --> 00:05:57.492 Getting to plus 10 or 15 from that point will be much easier than the first time. 00:05:57.492 --> 00:06:01.122 So, what I'm trying to say is that even if you relapse, 00:06:01.122 --> 00:06:05.363 the intensity is not as bad as before, and you have already built up 00:06:05.363 --> 00:06:08.023 the capacity to bring yourself back up. 00:06:08.023 --> 00:06:11.411 So there's no reason for you to be concerned. 00:06:11.411 --> 00:06:32.228 You need to practice being awake as much as possible in order to not relapse 00:06:32.228 --> 00:06:37.171 but you do not need to worry about falling all the way back to the beginning. 00:06:37.171 --> 00:06:43.325 It will be much easier to get back up as you now have the capacity. 00:06:43.325 --> 00:06:50.234 So, I'm saying that you should not be scared. 00:06:50.234 --> 00:06:54.433 First, you won't relapse. 00:06:54.433 --> 00:06:59.013 Second, even if you do, it's going to be easier for you to come back. 00:06:59.013 --> 00:07:05.203 You'll do well, there's no need for worries. 00:07:05.203 --> 00:07:15.710 Ultimately what I'm trying to say is that there's nothing there for you to be afraid of. 00:07:15.710 --> 00:07:23.092 (Questioner) Thank you. You're right and I really get your point. 00:07:23.092 --> 00:07:31.883 I cannot say it's a greed, but definitely understand now 00:07:31.883 --> 00:07:41.288 that even when I relapse to some kind of a mental affliction 00:07:41.288 --> 00:07:47.581 or attachment to these habitual patterns, their intensity is much less by far. 00:07:47.581 --> 00:07:54.549 I definitely agree with you that from a minus stand possibly I work up to 10. 00:07:54.549 --> 00:07:59.456 I agree, you are right. I have already experienced that. 00:07:59.456 --> 00:08:03.605 It's good that you mentioned because I do fall but I don't feel 00:08:03.605 --> 00:08:07.299 that I fall that deep anymore. 00:08:07.299 --> 00:08:09.619 It's good to know, thank you very much. 00:08:09.619 --> 00:08:30.284 (Sunim) The fear comes because you are attached to the current state of positivity. 00:08:30.284 --> 00:08:35.726 You should just observe that you are in a good state and you are maintaining 00:08:35.726 --> 00:08:40.110 equanimity and peace of mind instead of being attached to that state. 00:08:40.110 --> 00:08:47.690 Our mind is always dynamic, it's constantly moving. 00:08:47.690 --> 00:08:55.370 Just because you are in a good state now, you can't try to grab onto it. 00:08:55.370 --> 00:09:06.079 All you can do is just observe it as it fluctuates and moves in dynamic ways 00:09:06.079 --> 00:09:20.550 The fear comes from your attachment and desire to hold on to that good state. 00:09:20.550 --> 00:09:31.700 First, what you need to do is not attach yourself to or obsess over the current state. 00:09:31.700 --> 00:09:40.850 Second, it is for you to realize that even if you go back, 00:09:40.850 --> 00:09:43.850 it's not something for you to be afraid of.