[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.94,0:00:05.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Hail to the Chief\Nby James Sanderson)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.10,0:00:07.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Good evening my\Nfellow Americans.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.14,0:00:09.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, before I begin,\NI just want to say
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.78,0:00:11.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I know a lot\Nof people out there
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.28,0:00:13.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seem to think that\NI don't get angry.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.01,0:00:15.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's just not true.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.98,0:00:17.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I get angry a lot.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.92,0:00:20.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just the way\NI express passion
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.39,0:00:22.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is different from most.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.05,0:00:25.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, just so there's\Nno more confusion,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.46,0:00:28.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we've hired Luther here\Nto be my anger translator.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.10,0:00:28.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Luther.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.86,0:00:30.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Hi.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.02,0:00:32.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- First off, concerning\Nthe recent developments
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.05,0:00:34.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the Middle Eastern region,\NI just want to reiterate
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.84,0:00:37.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our unflinching\Nsupport for all people
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.10,0:00:39.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and their right to a\Ndemocratic process.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.14,0:00:40.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Hey, all y'all\Ndictators out there,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.81,0:00:42.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,keep messing around\Nand see what happens.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.51,0:00:43.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just see what happens.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.08,0:00:44.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Watch.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.44,0:00:49.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Also, to the goverments\Nof Iran and North Korea,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.32,0:00:52.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we once again urge you\Nto discontinue your
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.12,0:00:53.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,uranium enrichment programs.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.65,0:00:55.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Hey, Machmud, Kim\NJong, I think I already
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.66,0:00:58.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,done told both y'all\N86 your shit, bitches.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.96,0:01:00.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or I'm going to come over there
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.01,0:01:01.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and do it for y'all!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.56,0:01:04.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please test me and\Nsee what happens.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.30,0:01:06.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- On the domestic front,\NI just want to say
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.93,0:01:09.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to my critics, I\Nhear your voices
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.64,0:01:10.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm aware of your concerns.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.97,0:01:12.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- So maybe if you could\Nchill the hell out
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.31,0:01:13.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for like a second, then\Nmaybe I could focus
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.07,0:01:16.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on some shit, you know?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.48,0:01:18.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- That goes for everybody.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.18,0:01:19.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Including members\Nof the Tea Party.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.45,0:01:20.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh don't even get\Nme started on these
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.58,0:01:22.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,motherfuckers right here.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.22,0:01:24.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I want to assure you\Nthat we will be looking
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.08,0:01:26.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for new compromises with the GOP
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.02,0:01:27.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the months ahead.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.39,0:01:28.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- And you know\Nthese motherfuckers
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.92,0:01:29.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are going to say no before\NI even suggest some shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.96,0:01:33.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I know a lot of folks\Nsay that I haven't
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.89,0:01:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,done a good job at\Ncommunicating my accomplishments
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.05,0:01:37.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the public.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.86,0:01:41.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Because y'all\Nmotherfuckers don't listen!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.70,0:01:44.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Since being in office,\Nwe've created three million
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.27,0:01:45.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,new jobs.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.24,0:01:46.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Three million new jobs!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.01,0:01:48.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- We ended the war in Iraq.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.21,0:01:49.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Ended the war, y'all.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.21,0:01:50.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We ended a war.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.24,0:01:51.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember that?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.74,0:01:53.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- These achievements\Nshould serve as a reminder
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.71,0:01:55.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I am on your side.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.45,0:01:58.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I am not a Muslim.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.15,0:02:00.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- And that my intentions\Nas your president
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.69,0:02:02.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are coming from the right place.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.49,0:02:04.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- They coming from Hawaii\Nwhich is where I'm from
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.36,0:02:06.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is in the United\NStates of America, y'all.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.08,0:02:07.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.76,0:02:08.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is ridiculous.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.79,0:02:10.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a birth certificate.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.36,0:02:12.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a birth certificate.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.06,0:02:14.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a hot diggity\Ndaggety mama-say
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.97,0:02:18.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mama-sa birth certificate\Nyou dumb ass crackers!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.40,0:02:20.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Okay, Luther, rope it in.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.77,0:02:22.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Dial it back, Luther, damn.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.58,0:02:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- In conclusion, last\Nnight I had a conversation
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.91,0:02:26.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with Michelle.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.71,0:02:28.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I says, "Bitch."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.12,0:02:29.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Nope, I did not say that.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.52,0:02:30.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did not say that.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.48,0:02:30.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I did not say that.