(Beep)
(Screaming)
(Jazzy intro)
How does it feel to be the
Same sex as Donald Trump?
How does it feel to be the
Same sex as Sarah Palin?
How does it feel to be the
Same as Michelle Bachman
How does it feel to be the
Same sex as anybody
You disagree with?
Why does it even matter
Whether or not you’re the
Same gender as somebody else?
I mean, I’m also the same
Gender as Abraham Lincoln, Einstein,
And the guy who introduced
Chocolate to the western world
So what are you even getting
At with this question?
Are you trying to say Donald Trump
Is bad, and Donald Trump
Is a man, therefore men are bad?
Why do you hate rom-coms?
Or do you feel like you
Need to hate them?
Everybody likes The Notebook,
Everybody likes Beyoncé
It’s just a fact.
Men hate romantic comedies
For the same reason you
Hate video games with
Over-sexualized female characters.
The men in these movies are
Always willing to sacrifice
Their careers, their dreams,
Even their lives to win
The lead females’ affection.
Now I don’t have any empirical
Data to back this up, but
It seems to me that
Romantic comedies and
Romance movies in general
Cause women to have unrealistic
Expectations of men and what
Love should be like, and these
Become the expectations
That men have to live up to,
And it’s unfair.
Feminists like to bitch
About poor representation of women
In media intended for men
Because they promote body issues
And shit like that
And I agree, to at least, an extent
But its not any better for men
When we’re expected to be Prince Charming,
Ready and willing to sacrifice themselves
Physically, mentally, and emotionally
And we’re called selfish for daring to
Have our own desires
Or even misogynistic for daring to draw
Attention to our own problems.
These movies appeal to the female fantasy
of having a night and shining armor
swear their entre existence to pleasing them
and thus reinforce these notions within
their target audience of women like you
that you somehow deserve and should expect
to have your boyfriends and husbands
give up everything that makes them who they are
and basically dehumanize themselves
for your pleasure and devote 100%
of their time and energy to you.
The fact that some of you watching
this is scoffing at what I just
said only proves my point.
You have fooled yourselves into
thinking that I'M somehow the one
who's being selfish when I object
the notion that men should be expected
to cave into all of your demands
for the sake of your perverted,
idealistic conception of love and I
have no doubts that some of you will
accuse me of being bitter at some ex-girlfriend
for saying that, but I'm not
and I will pre-emptively characterize
such an argument as out-cropping of
the very mentality that I'm talking about.
You expect your demands to be catered
to, and any man who is unwilling
or unable to cater to them must
have something wrong with them.
Us men are human beings with
our own interests and goals and it's
selfish for you to expect us to give all
that up for you. But these movies condition
you to expect exactly that, and that is