0:00:05.711,0:00:09.620
On October 31, 1999, [br]Halloween here in the states,

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my family moved to Los Angeles [br]from a small flat in England.

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They were at that time, just my parents, [br]my brother, and my sister.

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A year and three days later, I was born.

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I don’t think it was immediately [br]obvious I was a little different.

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But around when I was four, [br]my lack of attention became more apparent.

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I wasn’t replying to people, [br]I just seemed to ignore them.

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I got my mom so worried [br]I was partially deaf

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that she spent $400 [br]on a fancy hearing test.

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I passed it with flying colors, [br]and I’ve never heard the end of it.

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My inability to focus on anything [br]for any length of time,

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my forgetfulness,

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and my complete lack of organization [br]is something nowhere short of legendary.

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I always lost pencils,

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never turned in assignments, [br]even when I did them,

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I always left jackets at school, which[br]plenty of times were never seen again.

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I couldn't sit still, [br]and if I did sit still, I was talking.

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I talked so much [br]that even when I wasn’t talking,

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my teachers still told me to be quiet [br]because they just assumed I was.

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My third-grade teacher put me [br]in my very own corner of the classroom

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away from everybody else to try[br]and stop me from talking.

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What actually happened is [br]I just shouted across the classroom.

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I was a nightmare.

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And this whole time I always had [br]so many missing assignments.

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Always more than anyone else.

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Fourth grade was the turning point.

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My mom had been working [br]to become a teacher, and through this,

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she worked with kids who [br]had been diagnosed with ADHD.

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And she started to realize [br]that these kids seemed really familiar.

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Their problems[br]were the same as my problems.

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By April of fourth grade,

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I had been to a therapist [br]and I'd been diagnosed with ADHD,

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which in a nutshell, is three things:

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Impulsivity,

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Hyperactivity,

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and Inattention.

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Impulsivity - yes that’s why I was just [br]blurting out whatever was on my mind

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and talking in class.

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Hyperactivity - I was always fidgeting,

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much to the annoyance of, well,[br]everyone around me.

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Inattention, though, [br]is a bad way to describe it.

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Actually, my brain just moves [br]from one thing to the next very rapidly

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until something [br]really catches my attention

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and I get kind of sucked in

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and I might have a short-lived [br]obsession about it.

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This is what’s responsible [br]for my forgetfulness.

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I can remember things fine, [br]just only when I pay attention,

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and that just doesn't happen often.

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It's also responsible for many [br]of my life experiences.

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I’ve tried all the sports, even baseball,[br]which was a terrible idea,

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You never stick a kid [br]with ADHD on a field waiting.

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I tried robotics.

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I tried a few instruments [br]and all of those were a massive failure.

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I tried cartooning which [br]I actually got pretty good at,

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but then I wanted to learn how to paint, [br]never did and now my interest is gone.

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I tried to teach myself [br]computer programming.

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That got boring by the end of the day.

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The point is I was always moving [br]from one thing to the next.

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To treat these symptoms,

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and save my parents' reputation[br]for being able to raise a child,

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I was given medication.

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This is probably the single most [br]impactful event in my entire life.

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In the beginning, it was wonderful.

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It was the fifth grade, [br]I was a model student.

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I not only finished my work,

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I did it quickly, [br]then helped my friends finish their work,

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and we were all done and horsing around [br]while everyone else was still going.

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The best part about it was that

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the third-grade teacher [br]who sat me in a corner,

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was the fifth-grade teacher.

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I can’t imagine how confused she was.

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This continued in the sixth grade.

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I stayed organized,

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stayed on top of my work,

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got perfect grades,

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and everything was wonderful.

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But going into the seventh grade,

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the dosage of the medication [br]I took was raised

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because it was thought I’d need it to cope

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with the increasing pressure [br]of middle school.

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This is ironic considering [br]that in middle school

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the real pressure is from your peers,

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something that for me, [br]the higher dosage actually damaged.

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All of a sudden, [br]I didn’t socialize with people.

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I became distant.

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I consider ADHD a part of my personality,

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I mean how could I not[br]if I’ve lived with it my entire life?

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The higher dosage took that away from me.

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Worst of all, I couldn’t eat [br]while I was on the medication.

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I was a pretty skinny kid[br]and my mom kept trying to get me to eat,

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and every day, she'd pack these lunches [br]and every day they'd end up in the trash.

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When I told her that when [br]I was on the medication,

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the food just seemed totally unappealing,

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the answer was summed up as this:[br]you're just going to have to suck it up.

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There wasn't much else that could be said.

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In response to all of this,

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I started taking medication on and off,[br]and well, it was pretty obvious.

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To give you an idea, back in LA,

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there’s an ice hockey team, [br]the Los Angeles Kings.

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So I went to one of these games and[br]I got pretty pumped up.

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Every time anything happened [br]I’d be up and jumping and cheering.

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The dance cam came on,[br]and to make sure I got on it,

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I took my shirt off [br]and waved it above my head,

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You bet I got on that camera.

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The next time I went to a King’s game,

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I took medication right before [br]to focus on some homework.

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When I went, I didn’t dance, [br]I barely stood up when the Kings scored.

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The people I went with were disappointed

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because they wanted to see me [br]with the kind of energy I had before.

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With the medication, I couldn’t bring [br]myself to do any of that.

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Those things felt immature and beneath me.

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Teachers would call [br]this perfect behavior.

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I sat down and I shut up, [br]and I didn’t bother anybody.

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This is an important conflict [br]many kids with ADHD face.

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You can either get better grades easier [br]and lose part of yourself,

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or you can be who you are [br]and be crucified for it in the gradebook

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and for people who find [br]your normal behavior irritating.

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Once I stopped taking medication entirely,[br]I got crucified.

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My grades just dropped.

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People were getting annoyed by me.

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My friends and family who knew [br]about my disorder tried to joke about it.

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I guess they were trying to give me [br]something to blame it on,

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but really it was degrading.

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I’d rather take the blame for [br]my mistakes myself, not some disorder.

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Otherwise, it just becomes [br]a way of putting me down,

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like I can’t do these things anyway [br]because I’m not normal.

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This is only the eighth grade,

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but already life seemed a lot different[br]then from sixth grade,

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and I started to wonder [br]if I really was smart

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or if the medication [br]had just put up an illusion.

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My ego was shattered[br]and I was just angry

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and I was bitter, more at myself[br]than anything else.

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I didn’t believe in myself anymore,

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that I could do any of the things[br]I used to think I could.

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And I came into freshman year[br]of high school

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not somebody who was ready [br]to take on the new challenge.

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I was beaten before [br]I walked through the door.

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For me, it all goes back [br]to that raising medication.

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Now don’t get me wrong.

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Compared to a few other people who [br]have taken the medication, I had it easy,

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even though most people who take[br]the medication are perfectly fine.

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Some kids suffer from withdrawal when [br]summer vacation comes,

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like bad withdrawal.

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They have the shakes.

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I know a kid who stayed awake for two days[br]after taking the medication.

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I’ve heard of a kid, someone my mom knew [br]from working at schools,

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who had suicidal thoughts after[br]taking the medication for the first time.

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That shouldn’t be happening.

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People with ADHD have a lot [br]to learn about themselves

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in order to deal with the disorder,

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and that’s a long process.

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Right now from what I’ve seen,

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the only solution people give [br]that works is medication,

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and if that doesn’t work,

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you kind of just have to work [br]things out for yourself.

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And sure, I get it, [br]most people are fine with medication.

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They don’t have side effects[br]that interfere with their lives

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and it enables them to do [br]what they need to get done.

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That isn't the case for everyone, though.

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And the stress,

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and the pressure,

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and the frustration that come with ADHD

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for not only the person with the disorder [br]but the people around them?

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That's tough.

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It’s no coincidence that [br]when researchers in Sweden

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checked their countries [br]national database,

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and checked suicide rates among people [br]with ADHD and those without,

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the people with ADHD were ten times [br]more likely to commit suicide,

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0.2% compared to 0.02%.

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1.3% of the people[br]without ADHD attempted suicide,

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For the people with ADHD, [br]that number was 9.4%, nearly 1 in 10.

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Family of people with ADHD [br]are at risk as well.

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Compared with, again, 0.02% [br]for the general population,

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parents had a suicide rate of 0.7%.

0:09:05.486,0:09:10.837
Siblings had the same rate of people [br]with ADHD with 0.2%

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With statistics like that floating around,

0:09:13.587,0:09:16.968
how can medication be good enough [br]for the entire ADHD population?

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Obviously, despite the plenty of people [br]working fine with the medication,

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there’s still a huge issue for the people [br]who don’t have that luxury

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and the medication for whatever reason [br]just isn’t the thing that can help them.

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People who see the stress they put on [br]their loved ones every time they mess up,

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and they can’t seem to stop messing up.

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And you’d be surprised [br]at just how many there are.

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It’s estimated that here in the U.S. [br]4% of the adult population has ADHD.

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For children, that number, [br]according to the CDC, is 11%.

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That’s just the numbers for the U.S.

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and we’re already looking [br]at millions of people.

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That’s people in this room, battling this,[br]battling the stress it causes them.

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People like me.

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So here’s how I dealt with it.

0:10:03.672,0:10:08.473
The only way I was going to live with ADHD[br]and still be happy was to beat it.

0:10:08.473,0:10:12.222
I needed to prove that ADHD wasn’t [br]something that was going to hold me back.

0:10:12.222,0:10:17.352
So sophomore year, after a freshman year [br]where I really just let myself down,

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I wanted to prove to not only [br]to others, but myself,

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that I was smart,

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that I could get the grades I wanted,

0:10:24.964,0:10:28.310
that I could get involved and [br]still find the time to do my homework.

0:10:28.310,0:10:30.485
So I got the grades I wanted,

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and I got involved, too.

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I joined the Red Cross,

0:10:33.346,0:10:37.364
and volunteering for them has been one of[br]the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done.

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I’ve found ways to do things [br]that work for me.

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I’m organized as much as I need to be,[br]no more, no less.

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It’s also important for me [br]to find patterns in classes

0:10:49.065,0:10:51.044
so that even when I miss out on things,

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I still always have a general [br]idea of what's going on.

0:10:53.892,0:10:57.744
It’s very important for me [br]to have friends in classes

0:10:57.744,0:11:00.145
so that when my attention span [br]inevitably fails me

0:11:00.145,0:11:02.755
in classes that I don’t have [br]an undying passion for,

0:11:02.755,0:11:07.487
I can still always ask what directions [br]were just said or what the homework was.

0:11:07.487,0:11:10.437
All of these things take work,

0:11:10.437,0:11:14.356
but it’s worth it because it enables me [br]to do what I want to do.

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Really, it’s about compromising with it.

0:11:17.426,0:11:20.034
This has allowed me [br]to get off the medication,

0:11:20.034,0:11:23.449
something which isn’t too common [br]for an ADHD success story.

0:11:23.449,0:11:28.846
Now I can go to school, [br]and the me that’s there, is the real me.

0:11:28.846,0:11:30.066
I irritate teachers,

0:11:30.066,0:11:31.477
I struggle to do my work,

0:11:31.477,0:11:33.166
and I’m happier.

0:11:33.166,0:11:34.877
I’m reliant on myself.

0:11:34.877,0:11:39.698
No medication, no teachers hovering [br]over me. It’s possible.

0:11:39.698,0:11:41.936
Whether the medication works [br]for them or not,

0:11:41.936,0:11:45.086
people with ADHD need [br]to find what works for them,

0:11:45.086,0:11:47.598
get the support they need,

0:11:47.598,0:11:50.264
and keep building up self-reliance.

0:11:50.264,0:11:53.196
ADHD isn’t a battle that [br]will ever be totally won,

0:11:53.196,0:11:55.661
but with a little bit of understanding,

0:11:55.661,0:11:57.476
we can help millions.

0:11:57.476,0:11:58.366
Thank you.