0:00:01.504,0:00:06.520
(film reel clicking)[br]♪ (light orchestral music) ♪

0:00:08.557,0:00:15.135
- ♪ At the end of the rainbow,[br]there's happiness ♪

0:00:15.135,0:00:21.817
♪ And to find it,[br]how often I've tried ♪

0:00:21.817,0:00:27.997
♪ But my life is a race,[br]just a wild goose chase ♪

0:00:27.997,0:00:34.642
♪ And my dreams[br]have all been denied ♪

0:00:36.522,0:00:41.528
♪ Why have I always[br]been a failure? ♪

0:00:41.528,0:00:46.756
♪ What can the reason be? ♪

0:00:47.056,0:00:52.589
♪ I wonder if the[br]world's to blame ♪

0:00:52.589,0:00:59.122
♪ I wonder if it could be me ♪

0:01:00.961,0:01:06.827
♪ I'm always chasing rainbows ♪

0:01:06.827,0:01:13.209
♪ Watching clouds drifting by ♪

0:01:13.209,0:01:19.280
♪ My schemes are just[br]like all my dreams ♪

0:01:19.280,0:01:24.214
♪ Ending in the sky ♪

0:01:24.214,0:01:26.440
(fireworks pop)

0:01:26.440,0:01:30.901
♪ Some fellows looking[br]find the sunshine ♪

0:01:30.901,0:01:36.272
♪ I always look[br]and find the rain ♪

0:01:36.272,0:01:42.187
♪ Some fellows make[br]a winning sometime ♪

0:01:42.187,0:01:48.225
♪ I never even make[br]the game, believe me ♪

0:01:49.855,0:01:58.707
♪ I'm always chasing rainbows ♪

0:01:58.707,0:02:04.382
♪ Waiting to find[br]a little bluebird ♪

0:02:04.382,0:02:11.059
♪ In vain ♪[br](clock tower tolling)

0:02:11.609,0:02:14.473
♪ (somber musical sting) ♪

0:02:18.440,0:02:21.777
♪ (demonic music) ♪[br](creature screaming)

0:02:21.939,0:02:22.861
(thud!)

0:02:22.861,0:02:25.183
(moans) Huh?

0:02:25.183,0:02:28.184
Oh. I'm alive! I'm alive!

0:02:28.184,0:02:30.407
(splat)[br](car honks, tires squeal)

0:02:30.407,0:02:33.945
- (man) Heh. Thanks for[br]the fun time, hot stuff.

0:02:33.945,0:02:36.784
- Yeah, yeah, listen.[br]Keep this discreet, you hear me?

0:02:36.784,0:02:38.782
I can't let it get out[br]I'm offering my services

0:02:38.782,0:02:40.754
to randos on the street.

0:02:40.754,0:02:43.110
It was a quick[br]cash grab, you got it?

0:02:43.110,0:02:46.271
- (sputters) Whatever[br]you say, slut. (chuckles)

0:02:46.271,0:02:48.443
- (sarcastic) Ouch, ooh, such an insult.

0:02:48.443,0:02:49.647
Let me know when you[br]come up with something

0:02:49.647,0:02:52.727
creative to call me, you sack[br]of poorly packaged horseshit.

0:02:52.727,0:02:55.583
Tell the missus I said hi...[br](smooch) shnookum.

0:02:55.583,0:02:56.444
- Back up.

0:02:56.444,0:03:00.453
(mutters as car screeches[br]away and crashes)

0:03:00.453,0:03:01.845
- Hmm?

0:03:02.717,0:03:05.084
(machine clatters)

0:03:06.045,0:03:08.170
(distant boom)

0:03:08.170,0:03:09.357
- Yoink![br]- Hey!

0:03:09.437,0:03:10.740
- Up yours, drag show!

0:03:10.740,0:03:11.790
(thud)

0:03:11.790,0:03:14.053
- (gasps) Oh, my God!

0:03:15.078,0:03:17.760
My drugs! Damn it!

0:03:17.760,0:03:21.240
(lasers firing and explosions)

0:03:21.240,0:03:26.467
- (laughing maniacally)[br](egg creatures giggling)

0:03:26.467,0:03:28.317
Those other cowardly sinners

0:03:28.317,0:03:31.236
dare not hinder[br]my territorial takeover!

0:03:31.236,0:03:34.704
A wise decision. The power[br]of my machines are unmatched!

0:03:34.704,0:03:38.573
No other demon can[br]compare to the likes of I!

0:03:38.573,0:03:42.841
- Gee, that was[br]pretty swell, boss.

0:03:42.841,0:03:44.105
- Yeah.

0:03:44.105,0:03:46.500
- You really showed[br]them what for.

0:03:46.500,0:03:48.871
I liked it when you shot them[br]with your ray gun.

0:03:48.871,0:03:52.341
- I wish he'd shoot me[br]with his ray gun.

0:03:53.433,0:03:57.267
- At this rate, I will seize[br]control of the entire west side

0:03:57.267,0:03:59.433
of the pentagram by day's end.

0:03:59.433,0:04:03.672
And nothing, not a single beast[br]in this inferno of suffering,

0:04:03.672,0:04:05.720
will be able to take[br]back this empire

0:04:05.720,0:04:10.062
from my constrictive grasp![br](party favors toot) (eggs cheer)

0:04:10.062,0:04:13.636
- Oh, boy![br]- Hell will be mine,

0:04:13.636,0:04:16.463
and everybody will know[br]the name of Sir--

0:04:16.463,0:04:20.082
- (woman) Edgelord![br]- Pardon? Who said that?

0:04:20.082,0:04:24.026
What did you just say to me,[br]you fried chicken fetuses?

0:04:24.026,0:04:27.708
Speak up![br]- That wasn't us, Mr. Boss Man.

0:04:27.708,0:04:29.479
(object whistling and hissing)

0:04:29.479,0:04:30.864
(glass breaks)

0:04:30.864,0:04:33.860
(fuse sizzling)[br](thunk, thunk, thunk)

0:04:35.407,0:04:37.333
(boom!)

0:04:37.333,0:04:39.316
- (hacking)

0:04:39.316,0:04:43.516
- You looking for[br]a fight, old man?

0:04:43.516,0:04:48.125
Why don't you get that[br]tinker toy bullshit off my turf

0:04:48.125,0:04:49.905
before I smash it!

0:04:49.905,0:04:51.497
(crash)[br]...More.

0:04:51.497,0:04:55.699
- Oh, you want to go, Missy?[br]Well, I'm happy to oblige!

0:04:55.699,0:04:57.899
AH HA HA!

0:04:58.689,0:05:00.866
♪ (news theme) ♪

0:05:00.866,0:05:02.746
- Good afternoon.[br]I'm Katie Killjoy.

0:05:02.746,0:05:04.122
- And I'm Tom Trench.

0:05:04.122,0:05:05.743
Chaos out of[br]Pentagram City today

0:05:05.743,0:05:07.744
as a turf war is raging[br]on the west side

0:05:07.744,0:05:09.669
between notable[br]kingpin Sir Pentious

0:05:09.669,0:05:13.001
and self-proclaimed spunky[br]powerhouse Cherry Bomb.

0:05:13.001,0:05:15.601
- That's right, Tom.[br]After the recent extermination,

0:05:15.601,0:05:17.969
many areas are now up for grabs.

0:05:17.969,0:05:20.547
(background fighting)[br]Demons all over Hell[br]are already duking it out

0:05:20.547,0:05:22.254
to gain new territory.

0:05:22.254,0:05:25.085
- (Tom) Those two seem[br]to really be going at it, huh?

0:05:25.085,0:05:27.835
- Looks like they're fighting[br]tooth and nail for that hot spot.

0:05:27.835,0:05:30.637
- And I'd sure like to nail[br]her hot spot. (chuckles)

0:05:30.637,0:05:32.895
- Hehe, you are[br]a limpdick jackass, Tom.

0:05:32.895,0:05:35.696
Or should I say... no dick?[br]- Not again!

0:05:35.696,0:05:37.981
- Coming up next up next,[br]we have an exclusive interview

0:05:37.981,0:05:40.848
with the daughter of[br]Hell's own head honcho,

0:05:40.848,0:05:44.456
who's here to discuss[br]her brand-new passion project.

0:05:44.456,0:05:46.715
All that and more[br]after the break.

0:05:46.715,0:05:48.817
Suck it up, you little bi--[br](test tone)

0:05:49.241,0:05:52.457
- (sighs) Okay. You[br]remember what to say?

0:05:52.457,0:05:55.487
- (takes deep breath)[br]Yes. Let's do this.

0:05:55.487,0:05:57.747
- Just look at me,[br]and I'll mouth it to you.

0:05:57.747,0:06:00.709
- (annoyed) Come on,[br]Vaggie, I know what to say.

0:06:00.709,0:06:04.099
I just feel like we need[br]to, I don't know,

0:06:04.099,0:06:07.405
make things sound more[br]exciting? (gasps) Ohhh!

0:06:07.405,0:06:10.050
What if I si--[br]- Sing a song about it?

0:06:10.050,0:06:13.685
- You knew I was gonna say that.[br]- Because I know you.

0:06:13.685,0:06:16.543
But please don't sing.[br]This is serious.

0:06:16.543,0:06:19.764
- Well, you know, I'm better[br]at expressing myself

0:06:19.764,0:06:21.525
and my goals through song!

0:06:21.525,0:06:23.697
- But life isn't a musical, hun.

0:06:23.697,0:06:27.120
- Fine, but I have these[br]other ideas of what to say.

0:06:27.120,0:06:29.969
(eagerly) The highlighted[br]bits are the best parts!

0:06:29.969,0:06:32.190
- Uh, it's all highlighted.

0:06:32.190,0:06:34.316
Is this a drawing?

0:06:34.316,0:06:36.596
- Yes! That's the happy[br]ending. See?

0:06:36.596,0:06:39.694
Everyone's smiling[br]and happy in Heaven.

0:06:39.694,0:06:41.188
- I don't think[br]it's that simple.

0:06:41.188,0:06:44.496
Just PLEASE follow the talking[br]points we went over.

0:06:44.496,0:06:47.561
(emphasizing) And do not sing.

0:06:47.561,0:06:50.110
- (annoyed) Okay, fine.

0:06:50.110,0:06:51.824
(terrible British accent)[br]I'll just have to resort

0:06:51.824,0:06:54.788
to my impeccable improv skills.

0:06:56.246,0:06:59.676
Hi. I'm Charlie.[br]- (low growl)

0:06:59.676,0:07:01.559
Katie Killjoy.[br](blows)

0:07:01.559,0:07:04.328
I'd say it's a pleasure to meet[br]you, but that would be a lie.

0:07:04.328,0:07:07.442
You can put that away.[br]I don't touch the gays.

0:07:07.442,0:07:09.825
I have standards.[br]- Yeah?

0:07:09.825,0:07:12.551
How's, uh-- how's that[br]working out for ya?

0:07:12.551,0:07:15.898
- Look, my time is money,[br]so I'll keep this short.

0:07:15.898,0:07:18.359
You're not here because[br]we wanted you here.

0:07:18.359,0:07:20.292
You're here because[br]Jeffrey couldn't make it

0:07:20.292,0:07:22.322
for his cannibal[br]cooking segment.

0:07:22.322,0:07:23.594
(oven bell dings)[br]You might be some

0:07:23.594,0:07:26.023
royal big shot, but that[br]doesn't mean shit to me.

0:07:26.023,0:07:28.899
I'm too rich and too influential[br]to give a flying fuck

0:07:28.899,0:07:31.605
about what some tux-wearing[br]demon "princess"

0:07:31.605,0:07:33.786
wants to advertise.[br]- But I--

0:07:33.786,0:07:35.213
- So don't get cute[br]with me, honey,

0:07:35.213,0:07:37.114
or I will fucking bury you.

0:07:37.114,0:07:38.276
- (director) And we're live!

0:07:38.276,0:07:39.356
- Welcome back! [br](cracking)

0:07:39.356,0:07:42.687
So Charlotte.[br]- It's Charlie.

0:07:42.687,0:07:45.815
- Whatever. Tell us about this[br]new passion project you've been

0:07:45.815,0:07:48.458
insistently pestering[br]our news station about.[br](knife shing!)

0:07:48.458,0:07:51.368
- Well... (clears throat)

0:07:51.368,0:07:55.229
(sighs) As most of you know,[br]I was born here in Hell.

0:07:55.229,0:07:57.824
And growing up, I always[br]tried to see the good

0:07:57.824,0:08:00.121
in everything around me.[br](slug shrieks)

0:08:00.121,0:08:03.284
Hell is my home and--[br](splat!)[br]--you are my people.

0:08:03.284,0:08:06.846
We-- we just went through[br]another extermination.

0:08:06.846,0:08:10.347
We lost so many souls,[br]and it breaks my heart

0:08:10.347,0:08:13.618
to see my people being[br]slaughtered every year.

0:08:13.618,0:08:17.759
No one is even given a chance.[br]I can't stand idly by

0:08:17.759,0:08:21.290
while the place I live is[br]subjected to such violence.

0:08:21.290,0:08:26.057
So... I've been thinking.[br]Isn't there a more humane way

0:08:26.057,0:08:28.874
to hinder overpopulation[br]here in Hell?

0:08:28.874,0:08:33.122
Perhaps we can create an[br]alternative way to change souls

0:08:33.122,0:08:37.328
through... redemption?[br]Well, I think yes.

0:08:37.328,0:08:40.055
So that's what this project[br]aims to achieve.

0:08:40.055,0:08:44.829
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm[br]opening the first of its kind,

0:08:44.829,0:08:47.879
a hotel that[br]rehabilitates sinners!

0:08:47.879,0:08:49.760
(silence)

0:08:50.791,0:08:52.857
(creak)[br](nervously) You know?

0:08:52.857,0:08:58.223
'Cause hotels are for people[br]passing through temporarily.[br]- (murmuring)

0:08:58.223,0:09:01.791
- (chuckles)[br]Is this girl for real?

0:09:01.791,0:09:04.903
She thinks-- you hear[br]what she thinks?

0:09:04.903,0:09:08.155
She-- ha ha! Oh, she's nuts.

0:09:08.155,0:09:09.778
- (Charlie) I figure it[br]would serve a purpose,

0:09:09.778,0:09:13.353
a place to work[br]towards redemption.

0:09:13.353,0:09:15.062
(sheepishly) Yay.

0:09:15.062,0:09:16.172
(footsteps)

0:09:16.592,0:09:17.442
(radio feedback)

0:09:17.592,0:09:19.206
- Stupid bitch.

0:09:19.206,0:09:20.510
(pow!)[br](crashing)

0:09:21.348,0:09:24.079
- Look, every single one of you

0:09:24.079,0:09:26.601
has something good[br]deep down inside.

0:09:26.601,0:09:29.063
I know you do.

0:09:29.638,0:09:32.063
Maybe I'm not[br]getting through to you.

0:09:32.063,0:09:33.849
- Oh, no.

0:09:33.849,0:09:35.289
(fingers snap)

0:09:38.005,0:09:41.735
- ♪ I have a dream[br]I'm here to tell ♪

0:09:41.735,0:09:45.183
♪ About a wonderful,[br]fantastic new hotel ♪

0:09:45.183,0:09:48.682
♪ Yes, it's one of a kind,[br]right here in Hell ♪

0:09:48.682,0:09:51.679
♪ Catering to[br]a specific clientele ♪

0:09:51.679,0:09:54.519
- (chorus) ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

0:09:54.519,0:09:56.784
- ♪ Inside of every demon[br]is a rainbow ♪

0:09:56.784,0:09:59.379
♪ Inside every sinner[br]is a shiny smile ♪

0:09:59.379,0:10:02.108
♪ Inside of every creepy,[br]hatchet-wielding maniac ♪

0:10:02.108,0:10:04.953
♪ Is a jolly, happy,[br]cupcake-loving child ♪

0:10:04.953,0:10:06.356
♪ We can turn them 'round ♪

0:10:06.356,0:10:07.728
♪ They'll be Heaven-bound ♪

0:10:07.728,0:10:09.518
♪ With just a little time down ♪

0:10:09.518,0:10:12.192
♪ At the Happy Hotel ♪

0:10:12.192,0:10:14.386
♪ So all you junkies,[br]freaks, and weirdos ♪

0:10:14.386,0:10:15.886
♪ Creepers, fuck-ups,[br]crooks, and zeros ♪

0:10:15.886,0:10:17.149
♪ And downfallen superheroes ♪

0:10:17.149,0:10:18.387
♪ Hope is here ♪

0:10:18.387,0:10:19.718
♪ All of you cretins,[br]slobs, and losers ♪

0:10:19.718,0:10:21.087
♪ Sexual deviants and boozers ♪

0:10:21.087,0:10:22.387
♪ And prescription drug abusers ♪

0:10:22.387,0:10:23.718
♪ Need not fear ♪

0:10:23.718,0:10:25.100
♪ Forever again ♪

0:10:25.100,0:10:26.295
♪ We'll cure your sin ♪

0:10:26.295,0:10:27.653
♪ We'll make you well ♪

0:10:27.653,0:10:29.078
♪ You'll feel so swell ♪

0:10:29.078,0:10:30.725
♪ Right here in Hell ♪

0:10:30.725,0:10:34.408
♪ At the Happy Hotel ♪

0:10:34.408,0:10:37.901
♪ There'll be no more fire[br]and no more screams ♪

0:10:37.901,0:10:41.491
♪ Just puppy dog kisses[br]and cotton candy dreams ♪

0:10:41.491,0:10:43.094
♪ And puffy-wuffy clouds ♪

0:10:43.094,0:10:44.915
♪ You're gonna be like, "Wow!" ♪

0:10:44.915,0:10:51.419
♪ Once you check in with meeee ♪

0:10:51.419,0:10:52.918
♪ So all your cartoon[br]porn addictions ♪

0:10:52.918,0:10:54.152
♪ Vegan rants,[br]psychic predictions ♪

0:10:54.152,0:10:55.251
♪ Ancient Roman crucifixions ♪

0:10:55.251,0:10:56.289
♪ End right here ♪

0:10:56.289,0:10:57.751
♪ All you monsters,[br]thieves, and crazies ♪

0:10:57.751,0:10:59.036
♪ Cannibals and crying babies ♪

0:10:59.036,0:11:00.420
♪ Frothing mouthers[br]full of rabies ♪

0:11:00.420,0:11:01.480
♪ Fill with cheer ♪

0:11:01.480,0:11:02.689
♪ You'll be complete ♪

0:11:02.689,0:11:03.915
♪ It'll be so neat ♪

0:11:03.915,0:11:04.976
♪ Our service can't be beat ♪

0:11:04.976,0:11:06.361
♪ You'll be on Easy Street ♪

0:11:06.361,0:11:08.108
♪ Yes! Life will be sweet ♪

0:11:08.108,0:11:11.587
♪ At the Happy Hotel! ♪

0:11:11.587,0:11:13.428
♪ (holding note) ♪

0:11:13.428,0:11:14.618
Yeah!

0:11:14.669,0:11:18.239
(silence) (Charlie panting)

0:11:18.239,0:11:19.990
- Wow!

0:11:19.990,0:11:21.558
That was shit.

0:11:21.558,0:11:25.231
(demons laughing uproariously)

0:11:26.987,0:11:28.559
- Boo.

0:11:28.559,0:11:30.791
- What in the nine circles

0:11:30.791,0:11:33.373
makes you think[br]a single denizen of Hell

0:11:33.373,0:11:37.386
would give two shits about[br]becoming a better person?

0:11:37.386,0:11:41.199
You have no proof that this[br]little experiment even works.

0:11:41.199,0:11:44.823
You want people to be[br]good, just because?

0:11:44.823,0:11:47.453
(laughter continues)[br]- Well, we have a patron already

0:11:47.453,0:11:50.957
who believes in our cause, and[br]he's shown incredible progress.

0:11:50.957,0:11:53.925
- Oh? And who might that be?

0:11:53.925,0:11:58.631
- Oh, just someone[br]named Angel Dust.

0:11:58.631,0:12:01.735
- The porn star?[br]- You fucking would, Tom. [br](nails screech)

0:12:02.170,0:12:05.516
In any case, that's not[br]even an accomplishment.

0:12:05.516,0:12:07.895
I'm sure you can get[br]that hooker to do anything

0:12:07.895,0:12:09.633
with enough[br]booger sugar and lube.

0:12:09.633,0:12:11.525
- Oh, I beg to differ.

0:12:11.525,0:12:14.361
He's been behaved, clean,[br]and out of trouble

0:12:14.361,0:12:17.114
for two weeks now.[br]- (man) Breaking news.

0:12:17.114,0:12:19.591
♪ (news theme) ♪[br]- We are receiving word

0:12:19.591,0:12:22.491
that a new player has[br]entered the ongoing turf war.

0:12:22.491,0:12:24.346
Let's go to the live feed.

0:12:24.346,0:12:27.689
(rioting sounds,[br]Angel Dust cackling)

0:12:27.689,0:12:30.791
- Oh, shit.[br]- "Oh, shit," indeed.

0:12:30.791,0:12:32.624
It looks like the one[br]who just joined the battle

0:12:32.624,0:12:36.893
is none other than (gasps)[br]porn actor Angel Dust.

0:12:36.893,0:12:39.655
What a juicy coincidence.

0:12:39.655,0:12:42.325
You must feel really[br]stupid right now.[br]- (wolf whistle)

0:12:42.325,0:12:45.884
- (both chuckling) Ratings!

0:12:45.884,0:12:47.884
- (frantically)[br]Don't look at this!

0:12:47.884,0:12:50.060
- Well, it sure looks[br]like your little project

0:12:50.060,0:12:51.726
is dead on arrival.

0:12:51.726,0:12:55.356
Tell us, how does it feel[br]to be such a total failure?

0:12:55.356,0:12:58.814
(laughter)[br]- Yeah, well, how does it feel

0:12:58.814,0:13:01.628
that I got your pen, huh? [br]...Bitch?

0:13:01.628,0:13:04.989
♪ (dramatic chord) ♪[br]Heh-heh. Oops.

0:13:04.989,0:13:06.134
(Tom scampers away)

0:13:06.494,0:13:07.354
(shing!)

0:13:07.354,0:13:08.490
- (roars)

0:13:08.490,0:13:09.340
(poof!)[br]- Hey,

0:13:09.340,0:13:12.059
thanks for the backup, Angie.[br]- (laughs) You kiddin'?

0:13:12.059,0:13:14.763
This is the best action[br]I've seen in ages.

0:13:14.763,0:13:16.177
- Where you been anyway?

0:13:16.177,0:13:18.229
I thought you up[br]and died or some shit.

0:13:18.229,0:13:21.241
- Oh, I wish. I've been[br]staying at this crappy hotel

0:13:21.241,0:13:22.886
on the other side of town.[br](whistle of bomb falling)

0:13:22.886,0:13:26.212
Some broads are letting me[br]stay rent-free if I play nice.

0:13:26.212,0:13:29.547
(poof!)[br](sighs) You know, no fights,

0:13:29.547,0:13:33.417
no pranks, no "problematic[br]language." Her words, not mine.

0:13:33.417,0:13:37.926
These crazy bitches are no fun![br]I've been clean for two weeks.

0:13:37.926,0:13:40.859
- Holy shit.[br]- Well, sorta clean.

0:13:40.859,0:13:43.378
Just clean as you can get[br]while doing a shitload

0:13:43.378,0:13:45.118
of Bolivian marching powder.

0:13:45.118,0:13:46.245
(yelps)

0:13:46.245,0:13:49.376
(chains rattle)[br]Oh, harder, Daddy~

0:13:49.376,0:13:50.682
- (gasps) Son?

0:13:51.857,0:13:54.077
(train horn sounds, loud wallop)

0:13:54.077,0:13:56.138
(enraged snarl)

0:13:56.138,0:13:59.921
You whores have no class.[br]In war, the side remembered

0:13:59.921,0:14:02.912
is the side with[br]the most... style.

0:14:02.912,0:14:05.873
- Or the side that ain't dead.[br]- Speaking of style,

0:14:05.873,0:14:08.178
is your hat, like,[br]alive or something?

0:14:08.178,0:14:12.196
- Oh, well, that's none of your[br]goddamn business. Now, is it?

0:14:12.196,0:14:15.117
- (chuckles) Would that make your hat[br]the top and you the bottom?

0:14:15.117,0:14:17.213
- Ooh![br](distant air horn blares)

0:14:17.213,0:14:20.615
(bonk!)[br]- I'm going to blow you to bits.

0:14:20.615,0:14:23.874
- Hmm, kinky.[br]- Oh, not like that, pervert!

0:14:23.942,0:14:24.682
(egg scrambling)

0:14:24.682,0:14:26.052
(shove)[br]- (Cherry Bomb) Oof!

0:14:27.190,0:14:30.550
Not so cocky now, are we?[br]- You know,

0:14:30.550,0:14:32.914
you really gotta watch[br]what comes out of your mouth.

0:14:32.914,0:14:35.803
I've been making these sex jokes[br]the whole... TIME!

0:14:35.803,0:14:38.280
And it's obvious[br]you ain't catchin' on.

0:14:38.280,0:14:40.674
I mean, it's just sad![br](gunfire)

0:14:41.210,0:14:43.826
- So, think you're gonna get[br]in a lot of trouble for this?

0:14:43.826,0:14:46.212
- Ehh, what's one little[br]brawl gonna cause?

0:14:46.212,0:14:48.016
(panicking and rioting)

0:14:48.016,0:14:50.475
- (Tom) Why won't anyone help me?!

0:14:50.475,0:14:52.476
- (Cherry Bomb) Glad you haven't changed.

0:14:52.476,0:14:55.256
You know you're my[br]favorite guy to party with.

0:14:55.256,0:14:56.884
- You know it, sugar tits.

0:14:56.884,0:15:00.445
- You ready to finish this?[br]- Born ready, baby.

0:15:00.445,0:15:04.285
(collective screaming)

0:15:08.248,0:15:11.876
(engine rumbling)

0:15:11.876,0:15:14.698
(window whirring up and down)[br]- (sighs)

0:15:14.698,0:15:18.360
(whirring continues)

0:15:20.912,0:15:22.844
(whirring stops)

0:15:24.230,0:15:27.027
- What?[br]- "What"? "What"?!

0:15:27.027,0:15:28.697
What were you doing?!

0:15:28.697,0:15:30.761
- (sighs) I owed my[br]girl buddy a solid.

0:15:30.761,0:15:32.610
Isn't that a[br]"redeeming quality,"

0:15:32.610,0:15:34.289
helping friends with stuff?

0:15:34.289,0:15:37.888
- Not with turf wars that[br]result in territorial genocide!

0:15:37.888,0:15:41.994
- Ehh, you win some, you lose[br]a few hundred. (chuckles)

0:15:41.994,0:15:43.809
It wasn't that bad anyway.

0:15:44.280,0:15:46.060
(fwip, thunk!)[br](crackle)

0:15:46.171,0:15:49.037
- (low growl)[br]- Oh, come on! I had to!

0:15:49.037,0:15:51.713
My credibility was[br]on the line. (sighs)

0:15:51.713,0:15:53.220
I mean, what kind of[br]reputation would I have

0:15:53.220,0:15:55.253
if people found out[br]I was trying to go clean?

0:15:55.253,0:15:57.782
It just throws out[br]my entire persona.

0:15:57.782,0:16:00.285
- Your credibility?[br]What about the hotel's?

0:16:00.285,0:16:03.330
Your little stunt made us[br]look like a fucking joke.

0:16:03.330,0:16:06.490
- (laughing) No, no, no, babe.[br]Jokes are funny.

0:16:06.490,0:16:11.114
I made you look, uh,[br]sad and pathetic...

0:16:11.114,0:16:14.995
like an orphan with[br]no arms... or legs...

0:16:14.995,0:16:17.614
uh... Oh! With progeria.

0:16:17.614,0:16:20.728
Great, now I'm bummed[br]thinking about it.

0:16:20.728,0:16:22.123
This thing have any liquor?

0:16:22.123,0:16:25.320
- Can you please just try[br]to take this seriously?

0:16:25.320,0:16:28.912
- Fine, I'll try. Just don't get[br]your taco in a twist, baby. (snap, ding!)

0:16:28.912,0:16:31.512
- Was that you trying[br]to be sexist or racist?

0:16:31.512,0:16:33.084
- Whatever pisses you off more.

0:16:33.084,0:16:35.212
Is there seriously[br]no liquor in here?

0:16:35.212,0:16:36.820
- I'm gonna kill him.

0:16:36.820,0:16:40.432
- Too late, toots. Wait, would[br]that make me double-dead?

0:16:40.432,0:16:45.758
Heh. Where exactly do I go,[br]to Double Hell? (laughing)

0:16:45.758,0:16:49.065
Sorry, you're stuck with me,[br]bitch. Get used to it.

0:16:49.065,0:16:51.119
- (muttering) Come[br]mierda, malparido.

0:16:51.119,0:16:54.049
- Listen, who cares[br]if some jagoffs got hurt.

0:16:54.049,0:16:56.575
Most of them are ugly[br]freaks. Look around.

0:16:56.575,0:16:58.683
You got a bunch of fuckin'[br]harlequin babies down here. (laughs)

0:16:58.683,0:17:02.087
- You're one to talk.[br]- Hey! This body is flawless.

0:17:02.087,0:17:03.623
Everyone wants some of me,

0:17:03.623,0:17:06.022
and I got the creepy[br]fan letters to prove it.

0:17:06.022,0:17:08.052
♪ (saxophone note) ♪[br]- (growls)

0:17:08.052,0:17:11.182
- That was really uncool,[br]you know, Angel.

0:17:11.182,0:17:13.016
- "Uncool"?[br]After that train wreck,

0:17:13.016,0:17:16.395
there is no way anyone is gonna[br]want to stay at the hotel,

0:17:16.395,0:17:19.882
all thanks to you[br]and your selfish bullshit!

0:17:19.882,0:17:22.815
- Does that mean I don't[br]have a free room anymore?

0:17:22.815,0:17:24.515
(creaky rattle)

0:17:24.515,0:17:26.311
Ah, well, shucks.

0:17:26.311,0:17:30.456
- Hey, come on. We don't[br]know if things are over yet.

0:17:30.456,0:17:33.606
Try to relax, Vaggie.[br]It'll be okay.

0:17:33.606,0:17:36.476
♪ (soft piano music) ♪

0:17:38.051,0:17:40.245
(doors bang loudly)

0:17:40.245,0:17:44.626
(footsteps and creaking echo)

0:17:45.973,0:17:47.458
- Ugh!

0:17:52.615,0:17:54.105
(dripping)

0:17:56.073,0:17:57.775
- It's probably[br]a good idea to get

0:17:57.775,0:18:00.844
some actual food in[br]this place. You know,

0:18:00.844,0:18:04.188
to feed all the wayward souls[br]you got in here. (chuckles)

0:18:04.188,0:18:06.456
(chuckling dies down)

0:18:06.456,0:18:07.713
Ehh...

0:18:11.475,0:18:12.915
(Angel Dust walks away)

0:18:19.438,0:18:20.587
(demon grunts)

0:18:20.844,0:18:22.293
(series of tones)

0:18:23.127,0:18:24.127
(beep)

0:18:24.127,0:18:30.133
- Hey, Mom. Um, I know I keep[br]calling, and you must be busy...

0:18:30.133,0:18:35.734
Really busy... Uh, but, um,[br]the interview didn't go well.

0:18:35.734,0:18:40.562
And... I don't know if I'm[br]going to make a difference.

0:18:40.562,0:18:43.075
I don't know what I'm doing.

0:18:43.075,0:18:45.622
I could really use[br]some advice, Mom.

0:18:45.622,0:18:50.265
I... I think Dad[br]was right about me.

0:18:50.265,0:18:56.193
Eh-heh, oof, ehh, anyway, I'll stop[br]talking before this gets long.

0:18:56.193,0:18:59.116
Love you. Bye.

0:18:59.376,0:19:00.176
(taps screen)

0:19:01.330,0:19:02.330
(door shuts)

0:19:06.285,0:19:08.561
(echoing knocking)

0:19:08.849,0:19:12.234
♪ (ominous music) ♪

0:19:16.352,0:19:17.732
(eerie strings)

0:19:17.732,0:19:18.798
(light static warble)

0:19:19.691,0:19:21.234
- (tinny voice) Hel...

0:19:21.234,0:19:24.088
...lo.[br]- Hey, Vaggie?

0:19:24.088,0:19:25.005
- (annoyed) What?

0:19:25.005,0:19:27.273
- The Radio Demon[br]is at the door.

0:19:27.273,0:19:28.972
- What?![br]- Uh, who?

0:19:28.972,0:19:32.549
- What should I do?[br]- (scoff) Well, don't let him in.

0:19:33.154,0:19:35.284
♪ (eerie music) ♪

0:19:35.379,0:19:38.035
- May I speak now?[br]- You may.

0:19:38.035,0:19:40.086
- Alastor! Pleasure to be[br]meeting you, sweetheart.

0:19:40.086,0:19:42.176
Quite a pleasure![br]Excuse my sudden visit,

0:19:42.176,0:19:44.271
but I saw your fiasco[br]on a picture show,

0:19:44.271,0:19:47.263
and I just couldn't resist.[br]What a performance!

0:19:47.263,0:19:48.741
Why, I haven't been[br]that entertained

0:19:48.741,0:19:51.204
since the stock market[br]crash of 1929.

0:19:51.204,0:19:54.071
(laughs with studio audience)[br]So many orphans.

0:19:54.071,0:19:57.251
- Stop right there,[br]cabrón hijo de perra.

0:19:57.251,0:20:01.761
I know your game, and I'm not[br]gonna let you hurt anyone here,[br]- (static warble)

0:20:01.761,0:20:04.305
you pompous, cheesy,[br]talk show shit lord.

0:20:04.305,0:20:07.197
- Dear, if I wanted[br]to hurt anyone here,

0:20:07.197,0:20:12.863
I would have done so already.[br](heavily distorted static)

0:20:12.863,0:20:14.010
(silence)

0:20:14.010,0:20:16.195
- No, I'm here because[br]I want to help.

0:20:16.195,0:20:19.662
- Say what now?[br]- Help. Heh-heh-heh.

0:20:19.662,0:20:23.268
Hello? Is this thing on?[br]Testing, testing.[br](tap, tap)

0:20:23.268,0:20:25.125
- (another voice) Well,[br]I heard you loud and clear.

0:20:25.125,0:20:28.956
- Um, you want to help with...?

0:20:28.956,0:20:32.337
- This ridiculous thing[br]you're trying to do, this hotel.

0:20:32.337,0:20:36.650
I want to help you run it.[br]- But... why?

0:20:36.650,0:20:38.962
- Ha-ha-ha. Why does[br]anyone do anything?

0:20:38.962,0:20:44.521
Sheer, absolute boredom! I've[br]lacked inspiration for decades.

0:20:44.521,0:20:49.159
My work became mundane,[br]lacking focus, aimless.

0:20:49.159,0:20:53.489
I've come to crave a new form[br]of entertainment. Ha-ha-ha!

0:20:53.489,0:20:56.215
- Does getting into[br]a fistfight with a reporter

0:20:56.215,0:20:57.926
count as entertainment?

0:20:57.926,0:21:01.654
- Ha-ha-ha! It's the[br]purest kind, my dear.

0:21:01.654,0:21:07.367
Reality! True passion![br]After all, the world is a stage.

0:21:07.367,0:21:10.834
And the stage is a world[br]of entertainment.

0:21:10.834,0:21:14.430
- So does this mean[br]that you think it's possible

0:21:14.430,0:21:16.178
to rehabilitate a demon?

0:21:16.178,0:21:20.114
- (laughs with studio audience) [br]Of course not.[br]That's wacky nonsense.

0:21:20.114,0:21:23.153
Redemption, oh,[br]the nonexistent humanity.

0:21:23.153,0:21:25.842
No, no, no, no. I don't[br]think there's anything left

0:21:25.842,0:21:27.640
that could save such[br]loathsome sinners.

0:21:27.640,0:21:30.086
The chance given was[br]the life they lived before.

0:21:30.086,0:21:32.014
The punishment is this!

0:21:32.014,0:21:33.622
There is no undoing[br]what is done.

0:21:33.622,0:21:35.254
- So then why do[br]you want to help me

0:21:35.254,0:21:37.114
if you don't believe[br]in my cause?[br](audio feedback)

0:21:37.114,0:21:38.651
- Consider it an investment

0:21:38.651,0:21:41.032
in ongoing[br]entertainment for myself.

0:21:41.032,0:21:43.413
♪ (swing music) ♪ [br]I want to watch the scum[br]of the world struggle

0:21:43.413,0:21:45.482
(music stops)[br]to climb up the[br]hill of betterment,

0:21:45.482,0:21:48.180
only to repeatedly trip[br]and tumble

0:21:48.180,0:21:52.532
down to the fiery pit of failure.[br](demonic growls and screams)

0:21:53.052,0:21:54.929
- Riiight.

0:21:56.193,0:21:59.685
- Yes, indeedy. I see big[br]things coming your way,

0:21:59.896,0:22:02.037
and who better[br]to help you than I?

0:22:02.037,0:22:04.694
- Uh, so, uh, what's the deal[br]with smiles over there?

0:22:04.694,0:22:06.622
- Wait, you've never[br]heard of him before?

0:22:06.622,0:22:09.126
You've been here longer than me.[br](shoulders creak)

0:22:09.126,0:22:10.124
The Radio Demon,

0:22:10.124,0:22:12.827
one of the most powerful[br]beings Hell has ever seen?

0:22:12.827,0:22:15.936
- Ehh, not big on politics.[br]- Ughh.

0:22:15.936,0:22:21.492
♪ (eerie music) ♪ [br]Decades ago, Alastor manifested[br]in Hell, seemingly overnight.

0:22:21.492,0:22:25.098
He began to topple overlords who[br]had been dominant for centuries.

0:22:25.098,0:22:27.960
That kind of raw power[br]had never been harnessed[br](static warbles)

0:22:27.960,0:22:29.482
by a mortal soul before.

0:22:29.482,0:22:32.963
Then he broadcast his carnage[br]all throughout Hell,

0:22:32.963,0:22:35.554
just so everyone could[br]witness his ability.

0:22:35.554,0:22:39.634
Sinners started calling[br]him the Radio Demon...

0:22:39.634,0:22:41.377
as lazy as that is.

0:22:41.377,0:22:44.721
♪ (ominous music swells) ♪ [br]Many have speculated what[br]unimaginable force

0:22:44.721,0:22:49.272
enabled him to rival our world's most[br]ancient and destructive evils.

0:22:49.272,0:22:51.144
But one thing's for sure,

0:22:51.144,0:22:53.871
he's an unpredictable[br]source of danger,

0:22:53.871,0:22:58.170
a wicked spirit of mystery,[br]and a violent monster of chaos

0:22:58.170,0:23:01.320
the likes of which we can't[br]risk getting involved with

0:23:01.320,0:23:03.925
unless we want to end up erased.

0:23:03.925,0:23:07.922
(music cuts) [br]- Ya done? (laughs) He looks[br]like a strawberry pimp.

0:23:07.922,0:23:10.126
- Well, I don't trust him.

0:23:10.126,0:23:13.423
- To be fair, do you trust[br]any man? Any men?

0:23:13.423,0:23:15.155
(chuckles) Men?

0:23:15.155,0:23:19.131
- Charlie, listen to me.[br]You can't believe this creep.

0:23:19.131,0:23:24.386
He isn't just a happy face.[br]- (Alastor hums)[br]- He's a deal maker, pure evil.

0:23:24.396,0:23:27.771
- He can't be redeemed and is[br]most likely looking for a way

0:23:27.771,0:23:30.165
to destroy everything[br]we're trying to do.

0:23:30.165,0:23:34.229
- I... we don't know that.[br]Look, I know he's bad.

0:23:34.229,0:23:37.302
And I know he probably[br]doesn't want to change.

0:23:37.302,0:23:40.523
But the whole point of this[br]is to give people a chance,

0:23:40.523,0:23:43.069
(radio distortion)[br]- (Charlie) to have faith things will be better.

0:23:43.069,0:23:46.447
How can I turn[br]someone away? I can't.

0:23:46.447,0:23:48.695
It goes against[br]everything I'm trying to do,

0:23:48.695,0:23:51.094
everything I believe in.

0:23:51.094,0:23:55.123
Just trust me.[br]I can take care of myself.

0:23:55.123,0:23:59.227
- Charlie, whatever you do,[br]do not make a deal with him.[br]- (radio feedback swells)

0:23:59.227,0:24:02.782
- Don't worry. I've picked up[br]one thing from my dad.

0:24:02.782,0:24:05.962
(deep voice) "You don't[br]take shit from other demons."

0:24:05.962,0:24:10.153
Okay. So Al,[br]you're sketchy as fuck

0:24:10.153,0:24:13.080
and you clearly see what[br]I'm trying to do here as a joke.[br](whoosh)

0:24:13.080,0:24:14.552
But I don't.

0:24:14.552,0:24:16.955
I think everyone[br]deserves a chance

0:24:16.955,0:24:20.583
to prove they can be better, so[br]I'm taking your offer to help...

0:24:20.583,0:24:22.583
on the condition[br]that there be no

0:24:22.583,0:24:25.908
trickster voodoo[br]strings attached.

0:24:25.908,0:24:28.806
- So it's a deal then?[br]♪ (magical music) ♪[br](whoosh)

0:24:28.806,0:24:31.621
(loud, resonating warbling)[br]- Agh!

0:24:32.311,0:24:36.722
- Nope. No shaking.[br]No deals. I... hmm.

0:24:37.264,0:24:40.588
As Princess of Hell[br]and heir to the throne,

0:24:40.588,0:24:44.630
I, uh, hereby order that[br]you help with this hotel

0:24:44.630,0:24:47.246
for as long as you desire.

0:24:47.246,0:24:49.973
(distant howl)

0:24:49.973,0:24:52.904
Sound fair?[br]- Hmm.

0:24:52.904,0:24:55.242
Fair enough.[br]- Cool beans.

0:24:55.242,0:24:58.212
- ♪ (hums) ♪

0:24:58.639,0:25:00.515
Smile, my dear!

0:25:00.751,0:25:03.450
You know you're never[br]fully dressed without one.

0:25:03.450,0:25:07.333
♪ (humming) ♪

0:25:07.333,0:25:09.129
So where is your hotel staff?

0:25:09.129,0:25:12.201
- Uh... well... [br](creaking head turn)

0:25:12.201,0:25:15.720
(chuckles) Oh, you're going[br]to need more than that.

0:25:16.001,0:25:18.871
And what can you do,[br]my effeminate fellow?

0:25:19.057,0:25:19.885
- I can suck your dick.

0:25:19.965,0:25:20.713
(screeching)

0:25:20.713,0:25:23.401
- Ha! No.[br]- Your loss. (zip)

0:25:23.401,0:25:25.035
- Well, this just won't do.

0:25:25.035,0:25:28.160
I suppose I cash in a few[br]favors to liven things up.

0:25:28.160,0:25:29.370
(snap) (whoosh)

0:25:29.370,0:25:31.801
♪ (whimsical musical sting) ♪

0:25:31.934,0:25:34.324
(fire crackling)

0:25:36.935,0:25:38.825
(smoke hiss)

0:25:40.036,0:25:40.776
(squeaking )

0:25:42.347,0:25:43.740
(squee!) (poof!)

0:25:43.740,0:25:46.337
This little darling is Niffty.

0:25:46.337,0:25:49.173
- Hi, I'm Niffty.[br]It's nice to meet you.

0:25:49.173,0:25:51.775
It's been a while since[br]I've made new friends, heh-heh.

0:25:51.775,0:25:54.169
Why are you all women?[br]Are there any men here?!

0:25:54.169,0:25:56.808
I'm sorry if that's rude.[br]Oh, man, this place is filthy!

0:25:56.808,0:25:58.435
It really needs a lady's touch,

0:25:58.435,0:26:00.835
which is weird because[br]you're all ladies, no offense.

0:26:00.835,0:26:04.767
Oh, my gosh, this is awful.[br]Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

0:26:04.767,0:26:06.122
(gasps) Nope.

0:26:06.122,0:26:09.366
- Ha. Read 'em and weep, boys.

0:26:09.366,0:26:13.673
Full h--whoa-tel?[br](radio tuning warbles)

0:26:13.673,0:26:15.865
What the fuck is this?[br](coin jangles)

0:26:15.865,0:26:17.285
(scornfully) You!

0:26:17.285,0:26:20.391
(studio audience claps)[br]- Ah, Husker, my good friend.[br]Glad you could make it.

0:26:20.391,0:26:23.375
Don't you "Husker" me,[br]you son of a bitch.

0:26:23.375,0:26:25.638
I was about to win[br]the whole damn pot!

0:26:25.638,0:26:27.175
- Good to see you, too.

0:26:27.175,0:26:29.270
- What the hell do you want[br]with me this time?

0:26:29.270,0:26:31.371
- My friend, I am doing[br]some charity work,

0:26:31.371,0:26:34.167
so I took it upon myself[br]to volunteer your services.

0:26:34.167,0:26:37.018
I hope that's okay.[br]- Are you shittin' me?

0:26:37.018,0:26:39.047
- Hmm... (morse code beeps) [br]No, I don't think so!

0:26:39.047,0:26:40.037
(audience laughter)

0:26:40.037,0:26:43.092
- You thought it would be[br]some kinda big fuckin' riot

0:26:43.092,0:26:45.042
just to pull me outta nowhere?

0:26:45.042,0:26:47.270
You think I'm some[br]kinda fuckin' clown?

0:26:47.270,0:26:48.532
- Maybe.

0:26:48.532,0:26:51.285
(audience laughs)[br]- I ain't doin'[br]no fuckin' charity job.

0:26:51.285,0:26:53.348
- Well, I figured you would[br]be the perfect face

0:26:53.348,0:26:55.842
(drum roll)[br]to man the front desk of this[br]fine establishment.

0:26:55.842,0:26:58.708
(audience clapping) [br]With your charming smile[br]and welcoming energy,

0:26:58.708,0:27:01.372
(droop )[br]this job was made for you![br](ratcheting smile)

0:27:01.372,0:27:05.027
Don't worry, my friend. I can[br]make this more welcoming...

0:27:05.027,0:27:07.444
if you wish...

0:27:07.444,0:27:09.084
(slot machine warbles down)

0:27:09.084,0:27:10.684
- What? You think you can buy me

0:27:10.684,0:27:12.469
with a wink and[br]some cheap booze?

0:27:12.469,0:27:14.065
Well, you can.

0:27:14.065,0:27:18.366
- Hey, hey, hey-hey-hey.[br]No, no bar, no alcohol.

0:27:18.366,0:27:21.098
This is supposed to be place[br]that discourages sin!

0:27:21.098,0:27:25.297
Not some kind of now...[br]brothel... man cave.

0:27:25.297,0:27:28.724
- Shut up! Shut up![br](intensely) We are keeping this.

0:27:29.126,0:27:31.440
(flirtatiously) Hey~[br]- Go fuck yourself.

0:27:31.440,0:27:33.094
- Only if you watch me~

0:27:33.094,0:27:35.890
- Oh, my gosh![br]Welcome to the Happy Hotel!

0:27:35.890,0:27:38.009
You are going to love it here!

0:27:38.009,0:27:41.092
- I lost the ability[br]to love years ago.

0:27:41.092,0:27:43.298
- So what do you think?

0:27:43.298,0:27:46.001
- This is amazing! (squeals)

0:27:46.001,0:27:49.122
- It's... okay.[br]- (chuckles)

0:27:49.122,0:27:51.869
This is going to be[br]very entertaining.

0:27:51.959,0:27:53.716
(laughs using radio distortion)

0:27:53.816,0:27:55.712
♪ (upbeat show music) ♪

0:27:55.900,0:27:57.969
♪ You have a dream ♪

0:27:57.969,0:28:00.196
♪ You wish to tell ♪

0:28:00.196,0:28:01.501
♪ And it's just laughable ♪

0:28:01.501,0:28:03.928
♪ But hey, kid, what the Hell? ♪

0:28:03.928,0:28:06.509
♪ 'Cause you're one of a kind ♪

0:28:06.509,0:28:08.273
♪ A charming demon belle ♪

0:28:08.273,0:28:11.316
♪ Now let's give these[br]burning fools a place to dwell ♪

0:28:11.316,0:28:12.761
Take it, boys!

0:28:12.761,0:28:15.911
♪ (jubilant swing music) ♪

0:28:15.911,0:28:16.893
Ha-ha! [br](chorus) -Boo!

0:28:16.893,0:28:20.274
♪ Inside of every demon[br]is a lost cause, ha ♪

0:28:20.274,0:28:23.202
♪ But we'll dress 'em[br]up for now with just a smile ♪

0:28:23.202,0:28:25.407
- (chorus) ♪ Wicked smiles! ♪[br]- ♪ And we'll chlorinate ♪

0:28:25.407,0:28:28.204
♪ This cesspool with some[br]old redemptive flair ♪

0:28:28.204,0:28:31.351
♪ And show these simpletons[br]some proper class and style ♪

0:28:31.351,0:28:33.036
- (chorus) ♪ Class and style! ♪[br]- ♪ Oh! ♪

0:28:33.036,0:28:34.533
♪ Here below the ground ♪

0:28:34.533,0:28:36.201
♪ I'm sure your plan is sound ♪

0:28:36.201,0:28:38.601
♪ They'll spend a little time ♪

0:28:38.601,0:28:41.440
♪ Down at this Hazbin Ho-- ♪[br](loud explosion)

0:28:41.440,0:28:43.305
(Niffty yells)[br](crash!)

0:28:44.028,0:28:44.938
(radio distorition)

0:28:44.978,0:28:46.123
♪ (dramatic music) ♪

0:28:46.123,0:28:47.996
- Ha! Well, well, well.

0:28:47.996,0:28:51.427
Look who it is[br]harboring the striped freak.

0:28:51.427,0:28:53.728
We meet yet again, Alastor.

0:28:53.728,0:28:55.195
- Do I know you?

0:28:55.195,0:28:56.259
- (deflates)

0:28:56.259,0:28:58.410
Oh, yes, you do!

0:28:58.410,0:29:02.445
And this time, I have[br]the element of... (sing-song) surprise!

0:29:02.445,0:29:04.919
HA HA HA!

0:29:04.919,0:29:08.651
I'm so evil! (laughing)

0:29:08.651,0:29:12.182
Whoa... whoa... whoa... oh...

0:29:12.182,0:29:16.187
(screaming)

0:29:16.967,0:29:18.115
That hurt!

0:29:18.115,0:29:21.995
(screaming continues)

0:29:23.395,0:29:25.626
(eggs howling)

0:29:28.193,0:29:31.554
(static warbling)

0:29:31.554,0:29:32.907
♪ (menacing music) ♪

0:29:32.907,0:29:34.117
(static warbles)

0:29:34.117,0:29:36.255
(loud blast)

0:29:36.255,0:29:38.976
(warbling winds down)

0:29:41.125,0:29:44.136
- Well, I'm starved![br]Who wants some jambalaya?

0:29:44.136,0:29:46.765
My mother once showed me[br]a wonderful recipe for jambalaya.

0:29:46.765,0:29:48.931
In fact, it nearly[br]killed her. Ha-ha-ha!

0:29:48.931,0:29:51.017
You could say the kick[br]was right out of Hell!

0:29:51.017,0:29:52.883
(laughing) Oh, I'm on a roll!

0:29:52.883,0:29:57.426
Yessir! This is the start of some[br]real changes down here.

0:29:57.426,0:29:59.234
The game is set.

0:30:00.434,0:30:05.088
Now... stay tuned.

0:30:05.088,0:30:06.959
(devilish chuckle)

0:30:06.960,0:30:09.909
Captioned by Sebby

0:31:29.980,0:31:33.549
(smoke hissing)

0:31:33.549,0:31:35.415
(rattling)

0:31:37.699,0:31:41.051
- Now will you shoot me[br]with your ray gun?

0:31:41.051,0:31:42.209
(thump)