WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.149
Welcome to the late night show
00:00:02.184 --> 00:00:03.251
my name is Arjen Lubach
00:00:03.672 --> 00:00:06.393
What a day it has been, a lot has happened,
00:00:06.393 --> 00:00:08.118
Dick Benschop has left Schiphol,
00:00:09.076 --> 00:00:10.946
Roger Federer has quit tennis,
00:00:10.946 --> 00:00:13.793
but we' ll start with another career that has been ruined:
00:00:14.784 --> 00:00:15.849
Queen Elizabeth's.
00:00:15.849 --> 00:00:18.250
[laughter]
00:00:18.263 --> 00:00:22.305
Since yesterday, her coffin is somewhere else again.
00:00:22.305 --> 00:00:23.592
I don't know what they do.
00:00:23.592 --> 00:00:25.227
And people are actually queuing for it.
00:00:25.691 --> 00:00:28.446
"The queue is several kilometres long,
00:00:28.813 --> 00:00:31.486
and visitors have been waiting outside during the night.
00:00:31.545 --> 00:00:34.865
Since yesterday, the queen lies in Westminster Hall,
00:00:34.865 --> 00:00:37.357
the so called "lying in state""
00:00:37.357 --> 00:00:39.041
Yeah, "lying in state",
00:00:39.041 --> 00:00:40.729
in the UK it's a very special thing,
00:00:40.729 --> 00:00:44.300
in the Netherlands we have Mark Rutte for lying in state.
00:00:44.300 --> 00:00:46.723
We're not queuing for that.
00:00:46.723 --> 00:00:49.596
Elisabeth's coffin is closed, as you see,
00:00:49.596 --> 00:00:51.488
probably for the best,
00:00:51.488 --> 00:00:53.651
because if you opened it, you'd have to eat it in two days
00:00:53.651 --> 00:00:55.339
or you'd have to throw it away.
00:00:58.419 --> 00:01:01.274
There are guards around it all day,
00:01:01.274 --> 00:01:03.353
but this night, I don't know if you saw,
00:01:03.353 --> 00:01:04.713
one of them fainted.
00:01:04.713 --> 00:01:06.176
And I'm going to show it to you now
00:01:06.176 --> 00:01:07.950
but you're not allowed to laugh
00:01:07.950 --> 00:01:09.708
because it's really not that funny.
00:01:14.824 --> 00:01:20.911
[laughter] Alright it's funny!
00:01:20.911 --> 00:01:23.410
But why are there so many guards there
00:01:23.410 --> 00:01:24.505
it's unnecessary.
00:01:24.505 --> 00:01:26.856
Are they scared she'll run away?
00:01:26.856 --> 00:01:29.493
Well then where are those dead legs going?
00:01:29.493 --> 00:01:34.629
Back to the palace if nothing comes up.
00:01:34.629 --> 00:01:35.452
She speaks Amsterdams.
00:01:35.452 --> 00:01:38.837
In the meantime, the queue outside keeps getting longer and longer.
00:01:38.837 --> 00:01:42.220
"Behind me you can see the end of the queue there
00:01:42.220 --> 00:01:44.114
people who are almost allowed in
00:01:44.114 --> 00:01:47.140
but the queue keeps going in that direction
00:01:47.140 --> 00:01:50.120
criss-cross, meandering through the park"
00:01:50.120 --> 00:01:53.327
Criss cross, meandering through the park.
00:01:53.327 --> 00:01:55.953
Flipperdyfloop (further gibberish)
00:01:55.953 --> 00:01:58.004
It's almost like an amusement park.
00:01:58.004 --> 00:02:02.422
It's a long queue for a very short haunted house.
00:02:02.422 --> 00:02:05.874
But the people think it's wonderful.
00:02:05.874 --> 00:02:09.082
"My late mother loved the queen and she died some years ago in 2016
00:02:09.082 --> 00:02:12.438
and also I met her four times so I thought it's nice to come by."
00:02:12.438 --> 00:02:14.255
He's already met her four times,
00:02:14.255 --> 00:02:17.428
but I think the fifth time will be slightly disappointing.
00:02:17.428 --> 00:02:18.752
She didn't recognize me anymore,
00:02:18.752 --> 00:02:20.827
I thought she was very cold,
00:02:20.827 --> 00:02:22.663
but I saw a guard fall flat on his face
00:02:22.663 --> 00:02:25.489
so that makes up for a lot.
00:02:25.489 --> 00:02:27.005
Beautiful things happen in the queue as well.
00:02:27.005 --> 00:02:29.813
"Few hours wait but it's worth it"
00:02:29.813 --> 00:02:31.842
I met my wife whilst cutting in line,
00:02:31.842 --> 00:02:34.753
and eh, it's a girl.
00:02:34.753 --> 00:02:36.779
We named her after the place she was conceived.
00:02:36.779 --> 00:02:40.790
Don't cry Dixi, don't cry.
00:02:40.790 --> 00:02:43.284
And now we go over to Uzbekistan
00:02:43.284 --> 00:02:46.291
because Putin and Xi Jinping met today.
00:02:46.291 --> 00:02:48.959
Look at this, looks cozy,
00:02:48.959 --> 00:02:53.523
apparently it's a rowing boat's funeral.
00:02:53.523 --> 00:02:55.451
They stood in the queue for 8 days,
00:02:55.451 --> 00:02:58.526
which is a lovely place to discuss world politics.
00:02:58.526 --> 00:03:01.088
"It's the first time the two of them see each other
00:03:01.088 --> 00:03:03.784
since the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
00:03:03.784 --> 00:03:07.249
Early in the morning the Chinese president arrived
00:03:07.249 --> 00:03:11.560
and just now Putin arrived with this plane,
00:03:11.560 --> 00:03:12.602
here he is."
00:03:12.602 --> 00:03:14.309
Indeed, here he is.
00:03:14.309 --> 00:03:16.113
Good that they mention it cause I'm bad at
00:03:16.113 --> 00:03:19.966
world's leaders faces that have been ruling for 22 years.
00:03:19.966 --> 00:03:23.871
So it was the first time they saw each other since the invasion of Ukraine
00:03:23.871 --> 00:03:25.330
and I imagine it's hard for Xi Jinping,
00:03:25.330 --> 00:03:27.933
because how do you bring that up?
00:03:27.933 --> 00:03:34.266
Heyyyyyyy, sup? Been busy?
00:03:34.266 --> 00:03:35.898
But he was very keen, Xi,
00:03:35.898 --> 00:03:36.915
I read that today,
00:03:36.915 --> 00:03:39.622
apparently he radiates self confidence.
00:03:39.622 --> 00:03:42.027
It's nice for us to see him grow
00:03:42.027 --> 00:03:44.036
I still remember him coming in, stuttering like,
00:03:44.036 --> 00:03:47.373
hello I'm Xi, I'm the president of the People's Republic of China,
00:03:47.373 --> 00:03:49.703
But now he exudes confidence like
00:03:49.703 --> 00:03:51.650
Heeeey long time no see (Xi)
00:03:51.650 --> 00:03:55.432
I'm sorry, had to make that joke
00:03:55.432 --> 00:03:57.135
Thank you
00:03:57.135 --> 00:03:58.694
It's me, I'm allowed to make that joke
00:03:58.694 --> 00:04:02.636
What an ugly floor, fishbone, cliché!
00:04:02.636 --> 00:04:04.865
Pakistan, have your swimming gear with you?
00:04:04.865 --> 00:04:06.822
Just kidding.
00:04:06.822 --> 00:04:08.616
Almost arrogant.
00:04:08.616 --> 00:04:11.845
How different is the world for Vladimir Putin?
00:04:11.845 --> 00:04:14.370
Europa boycotted his gas,
00:04:14.370 --> 00:04:17.547
so now he has to beg China to buy more Russian gas.
00:04:17.547 --> 00:04:21.550
That's hard, because China wants to stand with Putin a little,
00:04:21.550 --> 00:04:23.089
but not too much,
00:04:23.089 --> 00:04:25.600
because then China would suffer from sanctions as well.
00:04:25.600 --> 00:04:28.133
That's why China doesn't deliver weapons to Russia.
00:04:28.133 --> 00:04:30.370
So Putin is, for the first time in his life,
00:04:30.370 --> 00:04:31.982
some kind of underdog.
00:04:31.982 --> 00:04:34.682
"For now, Xi will take the wait and see approach,
00:04:34.682 --> 00:04:38.630
waiting in the background until Russia is so weak,
00:04:38.630 --> 00:04:41.075
it'll have to obey China."
00:04:41.075 --> 00:04:43.808
It's good news that Russia will be contained
00:04:43.808 --> 00:04:45.959
but it's by China.
00:04:45.959 --> 00:04:50.092
That's like if Gargamel suddenly had to obey Voldemort.
00:04:50.092 --> 00:04:54.374
Sounds fun, but how does that benefit the Smurfs?
00:04:54.374 --> 00:04:55.662
If you tuned in later,
00:04:55.662 --> 00:05:00.547
you're looking at a comparison between cartoon characters and world politics.
00:05:00.547 --> 00:05:02.578
Putin has it tough,
00:05:02.578 --> 00:05:05.540
because lately, there have been a lot of casualties
00:05:05.540 --> 00:05:06.594
in his entourage.
00:05:06.594 --> 00:05:09.700
This year, at least 13 Russian businessmen have died,
00:05:09.700 --> 00:05:12.151
under suspicious circumstances.
00:05:12.151 --> 00:05:16.768
Last Saturday, a Russian oligarch fell out of his boat near Vladivostok.
00:05:16.768 --> 00:05:19.593
The Russian pro-Kremlin newspaper "Komsomolskaja Pravda"
00:05:19.593 --> 00:05:21.667
called it a tragic death,
00:05:21.667 --> 00:05:27.093
and they also wrote that Vladivostok deals with heavy storms around this time of year,
00:05:27.093 --> 00:05:30.725
but now the water was supposedly calm on this sunny Saturday.
00:05:30.725 --> 00:05:33.503
Maybe it wasn't an accident?
00:05:33.503 --> 00:05:35.579
Is that what this paper is insinuating?
00:05:35.579 --> 00:05:37.459
Putin was wondering the same thing.
00:05:37.459 --> 00:05:40.657
And today, the news reported that the chief editor of the paper
00:05:40.657 --> 00:05:43.393
suddenly suffocated.
00:05:43.393 --> 00:05:44.717
Is THAT a coincidence?
00:05:44.717 --> 00:05:48.750
The Russian media has speculated on this issue suprisingly little.
00:05:48.750 --> 00:05:56.477
Thank you, goodbye etc etc
00:05:56.477 --> 00:05:58.820
The late night show: top 36
00:05:58.820 --> 00:06:03.017
Number 29: Frisian twins
00:06:03.017 --> 00:06:05.290
You look alike a bit. How does that work?
00:06:05.290 --> 00:06:07.283
What's the story?
00:06:07.283 --> 00:06:10.276
Yeah we're twins.
00:06:10.276 --> 00:06:13.227
Yep.
00:06:13.227 --> 00:06:20.096
The late night show, top 36.
00:06:20.096 --> 00:06:26.060
I'm sorry, I was making a Be Real
00:06:26.060 --> 00:06:27.760
Do you know what's really Real?
00:06:27.760 --> 00:06:28.790
Npo Start
00:06:28.790 --> 00:06:30.960
Look at it, it's going to be the new trend.
00:06:30.960 --> 00:06:32.541
Fuck Be Real