What's up cinephiles, I'm Evasive,
and this piece of paper right here means two things:
Number one, I am tens of thousands of
dollars in debt,
and number two, I know a lot about movies.
and since the U.S government isn't giving me any debt relief this year,
I have no choice now but to torture myself on the Internet
for money to pay off the loans
I took out to go to film school.
So for this video, I watched every movie that's ever won
a Razzie Award for Worst Picture of the Year.
This was an extremely painful experience
and I regretted my decision immediately,
but for the sake of my adoring fans
and my bank account,
I went ahead and watched all 46 of these
movies so I could explain them to you.
But after the grueling experience of watching all these movies,
I'm not about to tackle this breakdown alone.
So I went ahead and roped in another video essay girly
and a talking trash can
to help explain some of these movies for me.
But before I get to the movies,
let me explain what the Razzies are.
The Golden Raspberry Awards are an annual event,
usually held the night before the Oscars,
to give out awards for the worst movies of the year.
It was founded by Hollywood copywriter
John Wilson and editor Maureen Murphy.
The idea for the Razzies came about in 1980
when Wilson saw Can't Stop the Music and Xanadu, back to back
and hated them both so much, he thought there ought to be an award show
for this type of thing.
Months later, Wilson hosted an
Oscars watch party at his house,
and after the Oscars had finished,
he and Murphy passed out ballots to everyone at the party
to vote on the worst movies of the year,
and then he announced the winners in his living room.
Over time, the ceremony grew and grew,
and today they're considered a staple of the Hollywood award season
as a low-budget Bizarro World Oscars
that distributes awards in categories
such as Worst Actor, Worst Director,
and Worst Screenplay.
Unlike the qualifications for voting at the Oscars though,
becoming a Razzie voter is very easy:
either be friends with one of the producers
or just pay a $40 membership fee.
That's all it takes.
So that's the story of the Razzies.
Now are you ready to learn about every single movie
that won Worst Picture?
Because I wasn't.
There's 46 of these things, so I'm going to talk about each one
for just a minute or two
and hand off a few to my guests
so I don't completely lose my mind here.
Also, I put a content warning on a bunch of these movies
because of the sensitive subject matter I discuss.
Not trying to traumatize anybody but myself in this video.
Well, me and my guests.
But I commissioned them for this, so it-it's fine.
"Anybody who swallows two snowballs and a ding-dong shouldn't"
"have trouble with pride."
The first movie to win Worst Picture was Can't Stop The Music,
A movie about the "origins" of the disco group Village People.
And I say origins in air-quotes because the Village People play themselves
and the plot is completely made-up
and not at all how the Village People actually formed
The movie itself is super campy and full of these crazy musical numbers
that are unironically kinda great.
It's just too bad that in between those musical numbers are these scenes
with really terrible acting that go on for way too long.
[movie] -Wait a minute! I am not taking one -more step 'til I know where I'm going.
-Yeah, quit my job, and you -got me walking the beat again!
- I'm not even getting paid for it! - Hold your horses.
-I told you I had a surprise for you.
-I hope so. I turned in my -coin change with the toll booth.
its not that awful of a movie, but by 1980 the disco fad was pretty much over and
people loved to hate on disco music at the time
so you can see why this ended up being such a huge bomb.
Also, shockingly, this movie marks the first film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner
and apparently the experience was so bad
she didn't appear in a movie again until Jack & Jill in 2011.
And, uh, well.
Mommie Dearest is a "biopic"
about the life of actress Joan Crawford's adopted daughter Christina.
and again, I say biopic in air-quotes because the movie was based on
Christina Crawford's controversial memoir
that other members of Joan Crawford's family disavowed when it came out.
I haven't done much research on the topic
so I'm in no position to question this story.
But I will say that after the movie was made
Christina said the film was grotesque and not true to her memoir.
Released just 4 years after Joan Crawford passed away,
this movie basically spits all over her fresh grave
and portrays her as a horrible mother
who frequently, physically and emotionally abused her daughter.
now whether or not this is actually true is still a matter for debate of course.
Regardless of the real-life circumstances behind the movie,
Faye Dunway's performance of Joan Crawford is iconic now.
People who have unfortunately experienced emotional abuse from a parent
found her performance scarily true to their own life experiences
but general audiences thought she was just being
outrageously campy and over the top the whole movie.
Because of its reputation
the film accidentally became a queer cult classic over the years
especially in the drag community.
and it was even featured in the most recent season of RuPaul's Drag Race.
"No wire hangers!"
♫ No more wire hangers ♫ ♫ Ah, ah! ♫
♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫ ♫ No, no, no, no ♫
[Evasive] Inchon is a movie about the battle of Incheon in the Korean War.
It was financed and produced by the Unification Church,
a movement that was and still is considered a dangerous cult
with a leader who called himself the second coming of Jesus Christ.
The film's producer was a very wealthy member of the church.
who said he was instructed by God to make the film.
So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted any part of this.
and all 46 million dollars of the budget ended up being provided by the church and its followers.
The film itself doesn't really have much to do with the Unification Church.
It's a straightforward war movie that's just boring and unremarkable.
It had some star power but only because the actors in it were paid a lot of money.
with Laurence Olivier even admitting before the movie was released
that he was only in it for the money.
It was such a flop that nobody even bothered to release it on home media.
and the only available version of the movie today
is from an old VHS rip from when it played on Unification Church TV channel.
The only thing worth seeing in this movie is Laurence Olivier's makeup job.
I mean he looks like the Joker.
This movie is just tasteless.
it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins
who was paid 600 000 dollars for the film rights,
and apparently fell asleep in the screening room,
and never actually watched the movie.
First of all, in the first 15 minutes,
young Ray Liotta, in his first ever movie role,
sexually assaults the main character with a garden hose.
and then after that the rest of the movie is just her being forced to have sex
with gross older men in order to get ahead in Hollywood.
And you see all of it.
It seems like it was trying to criticize sexism in Hollywood
but instead of handling it with any kind of nuance or respect
the movie fully shows the sex scenes
and does the very thing it's trying to critique.
The final scene in the movie shows her winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay
and calling out the men who took advantage of her
in her acceptance speech.
and then she's booed off stage, and leaves, and the movie just ends there.
It's really uncomfortable to watch.
But somehow the next movie is even worse.
Ugh, god, ok. soo..
Bolero is a movie by John Derek.
John Derek is— (groan)
John Derek was an old Hollywood actor
who appeared in supporting roles in several big movies in the 1940s and 50s.
In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old,
he traveled to Europe to direct a low-budget movie called
"Once upon a Love" starring a 16 year old girl named
"Mary Cathleen Collins".
During the production— (retching)
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry
During the production, John Derek left his wife
and groomed Mary Collins into a sexual relationship,
With the two staying in Europe until she turned 18
so he could avoid statutory rape charges.
When they got married a few years later, she changed her name to Bo Derek
and proceeded to star in all of his movies until he died in 1998.
(retching) (vomit squelching)
I'm sorry.
So anyway, Bolero was a movie about a young woman fresh from college
who travels to Morocco in Spain to lose her virginity.
and If that wasn't bad enough,
this movie features a full-frontal nudity scene with a 14 year old girl.
Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl.
An actual 14 year old girl.
(retching, vomit squelching) (coughing)
If you've never seen any Rambo movies before
the image you probably associate with the word "Rambo"
is the one where hypermasculine Sylvester Stallone
is firing a machine gun without a shirt on.
But see, that's actually from this movie, "Rambo First Blood: Part II",
which has very little to do with Part 1 at all.
The whole point of the first Rambo movie is that
Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran with severe PTSD
who snaps and kills a bunch of small-town cops who treat him like shit.
This sequel, on the other hand
throws that tragic anti-war character out the window
as the US government sends him back to Vietnam
to locate prisoners of war
and Rambo is just like weirdly ok with that.
It's like he immediately got over his PTSD
and just got straight to blowing stuff up, no problem.
This movie was a massive box office success
and made double of what the first movie made,
so naturally, Rambo III also ditched the anti-war angle
and sent Rambo to Afghanistan.
I dunno as someone who thought the first movie was amazing,
it really sucks to see how quickly they ruined this character.
But, like, I get it.
The people who went to go see these sequels in theaters
didn't watch it for the plot.
They watched to see Sylvester Stallone do this.
(bow twang) (explosion)
In the early 80s, Prince was a rising star.
And his stardom was cemented in 1984
with the massive hit that was Purple Rain.
so after the success of Purple Rain,
Warner Bros. told Prince he was basically allowed to do whatever he wanted for his next project
greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon without even reading the script
the story is, Prince plays a guy in the French Rivier named Christopher
He and his friend (tricky) try to scam a rich girl out of her inheritance
but they both end up falling in love with her.
problems with the movie became apparent early on
when Prince hired someone with no experience to write the script.
Then 16 days into filming, the director quit.
And Prince took over even though he had no experience directing a movie before.
The end result was a movie that features what I can only describe as
sarcastically says Acting.
Don't try anything funny. Not this time, Christopher.
I want the money or I throw you both out onto the street.
(gasp)
That's right, [inaudible]
Throw me on the the street?
It's bizarre, it's one of those movies where
the acting is so bad it loops around to being funny
which has given it a bit of a cult following over the years
that and the soundtrack is amazing
like with Purple Rain
Prince released an album with the movie that went Platinum
and is today remembered as one of his most iconic albums of his career
After Under the Cherry Moon failed, Prince tried one more time
to direct a feature-length movie
but that one got nominated for a bunch of Razzies too
and after that he gave up and never tried to direct a movie again.
Also this here marks the first ever tie in Razzies history
with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with
(laughing)
Howard the Duck.
(Evasive laughing)
Greetings, Evasive viewers, it is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law
and I'm here to defend my client Howard T. Duck,
star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986, Howard The Duck
For nearly the last 40 years my client's reputation has been
tarnished and slandered against
by quack punch, chicken shit critics for this tragic box office bomb.
"Central character, the Duck, the one that we're gonna be rooting for,
he's neither funny, or bit of funny."
But I'm here to clear the air.
Howard the Duck is not a movie, no, it's a duckumentary.
I know this because I was there.
We all were.
My entire clan witnessed my client crash land on Earth
to star in a motion picture that of which has been
Um.
it's still awful. It's bad. We're not winning this case, buddy.
I wasn't trying anything. Honest!
This is a strange movie to say the least.
Howard the Duck notoriously opens with 2 instances of
full frontal duck booba in the span of 30 seconds.
But the rest of the movie is this whiplash
between what's a squeaky clean full house type family movie
that no one older than the age of 3 years old would find funny
followed by things like Marty McFly's mom showing off her ass and
pulling out a condom for Howard's corkscrew.
Howard…
It's like anti-matter Shrek where they didn't know
how to mix adult humor and a kids' flick properly yet
so it becomes this overly long bland comedy
with hardly any intentional laughs
that just happens to throw in something totally obscene every now and then
- [Howard] Oh! - I just can't resist your
intense animal magnetism.
uhh there's a lot of uhh attempts at duck puns,
most are just replacing a random phrase in a word with "duck"
"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck."
Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck.
That's a duck name.
That's a name you give a duck.
The first half of the movie has Howard pointlessly meandering
there's no funny interactions or observations or memorable bits
it's just an aimless movie with the guy in the duck suit.
You have an entire portion of the movie
where Howard has a job as a towel boy in like a sex club
it's fun for the whole family!
Yeah, Breeders, what the hell.
Bareback bestiality and pedophilia.
Oh yeah, we find Howard getting launched to earth as a result of a quack mace incident.
which also leads to Palpatine somehow returning from the dead
and possessing the body of that one actor that's in every 80s movie
who would later go on to be arrested for being a sex pervert.
What do you think he would like to eat?
I no longer need human food.
[Junko] I need little boy butts.
You have a movie where a talking duck fires a giant laser
at a hell portal to stop a horde of alien warlords
from taking over the Earth
and they still manage to make it a total snooze fest
They try to give Howard a bit of edge
but he still feels too kiddy and sanitized
for what they're going for
And part of that is also his design.
He looks like a cross of a Furby and MacCulkin.
There were some things I did like,
like these alien overlords are pretty cool
their design and the stop motion is really well done.
and the sequence where Howard gets shot into space
is pretty neat, pretty impressive to look at.
I like this sequence where Howard and Andy Dufresne get a 6 star wanted level
and start flying away from all the cops
that was good.
Yeah, Tim Robins is in this
Imagine having what's considered one of the best movies of all time
as part of your portfolio
and on the other end of the spectrum, Howard the Duck,
now that's range
Genuinely I was taken aback because some of the shots in this movie
undeniably do go hard. I feel like
There's a version of this movie that could've actually been good with less work
like if they leaned into Howard being this cynical, perverted wise-quacking duck
that's down on his luck, who gets thrust into Earth
and finds this strange new realm
actually isn't so much different from his own.
and then it's all about the bills, baby, put it on my belt
He could take it as an opportunity for a fresh start,
slowly climbing his way up the corporate ladder
until becoming a national celebrity
that gets caught up in 80s consumerism and greed
and then maybe having him begrudgingly involved in weird sci-fi fantasy stuff
like the comics, I dunno.
I'm not sure how to defend my client.
Give him the chair.
(Howard screams)
(Evasive laughing)
Alright, I may not have been able to defend Howard,
but know this: from this day forth, I will ensure every client of mine
is proven innocent.
Now for my next client, I will be defending one Bill Cos-.
Bill Co-Bill Cosby.
I-I'm good. Your Honor? i with-I withdrawal.
I withdrawal your honor. I'm good. We're done here. We're done.
It's Leonard, part 6.
Ask anyone who's seen this movie, they'll tell you
that's when they first knew lil' Bill was a real piece of shit
I got to say when I first heard there was a comedy movie that just started on part 6
I thought hey, that's kind funny, maybe this movie could be bad in a good way, at the very least
Nope, it's just bad, it's boring, it's so boring.
If there's one thing Cosby was always a master at
it's making people very sleepy.
The whole thing is supposed to be a spoof on the spy genre, sort of like
like Naked Gun, except it actually came out a year before that movie
They really just had the cameras rolling and had Bill Cosby do whatever he wanted
There's a bunch of weird sex shit
I mean the clues are all there,
in the movie his wife divorced him because he slept with a 19 year old
and his daughter is dating a much older man to further her career as an actress
so then Leonard has to see her flash her tits on stage
for no reason, none of these scenes add anything to the movie
I think Cosby just wanted to look at some young girl tits
The whole film has this weird lethargic and slow energy to it
Everything from the dialogue to the editing,
it's like watching a movie at 0.5 speed.
The movie opens with Leonard and an assassin
having a shootout in a kitchen
The joke is that what they're doing is actually helping prep some of the food
Ok, could be funny but the pace of it all is so bizarrely off by a step
Every gag and bit is like this, like they took something that was
maybe a 3 out of 10 joke at best and spread it so thin that
you-you ask yourself,
Was there even a joke at all to begin with?
The plot follows Leonard being the best agent in the world
who's long been retired, until being pulled back for one last mission
after a buncha animals under mind control start killing people
yet again a god-awful 80s comedy starts
off with an animal looking at a porno mag.
Here's you two fucking nickels.
The first half is him just stumbling around
trying to get back with his ex wife
who pours soup on him— wh-what is this gag?
Is this a fetish, Mr. Cosby? You think this was genuinely funny?
[mocking] We'll have him pour soup.
Cosby doesn't have a single funny line or hook to his character
you can tell he's put zero effort into any of this
It's almost like he said "Yeah I'll do the movie but I don't wanna look too stupid,
don't make me look too stupid
most of these so-called jokes are what the most boring uptight person in the world
would think being silly is.
[mocking] Oh, look, wow he's being a ballerina, so girly.
Oh, wow, he's doing a silly fitness tape, how can he subject himself to that.
oh, wee, you know what I mean?
it's like he thinks these things are so beneath him
that just him doing it would be funny.
What a piece of shit.
y'know what really makes me mad, though?
It's completely unfair. Because everyone else seems to be trying, but him.
there's a part In the end when Leonard
frees all the animals from captivity,
and I just wanna take this time to recognize this bird right here.
Who in this 5 second shot, bends the bars of his cage with his beak and breaks free
God bless this bird.
This bird right here put more effort than Bill Cosby in his own movie.
This bird did not deserve to be in one of the worst movies of all time.
None of these animals did.
This ostrich didn't deserve to be betrayed
with a sex criminal grinding his pudding pop on its back.
if you think about it
If audiences in 1987 hated this, watching it now,
with all the humor naturally diluted even further through the passage of time
is like drinking a 40 year old can of new coke
and when Bill's the one handing you the drink, it's safe to say
you probably shouldn't drink it.
(gurgling)
Cocktail is a movie where young Tom Cruise plays a bartender in Manhattan.
and then he movies to Jamaica and falls in love with a girl.
but then he loses her and he moves back to New York to win her back
and that's pretty much it.
What you see is what you get with this one.
It's a really mediocre movie.
Not that good, but not that bad either.
Well except for this scene when Tom Cruise stands on a bar
and reads his shitty poetry.
This is pretty cringey.
[tom cruise] I see America drinking
the fabulous cocktails I make.
crowd laughs
America's getting stinking on something I stir or shake.
(laughing)
I make drinks so sweet and snazz-ay,
the iced tea, the kamikaze,
(hollering)
the sex on the beach is Schnapps made from peach
the ball and hammer the Alabama slammer!
Unsurprisingly with Tom Cruise starring, this movie was a massive success,
earning a ridiculous 171 million dollars on a 20 million dollar budget.
It's also the movie that the Beach Boys song "Kokomo" song was written for.
Besides that, not much to talk about here.
I'm pretty sure it only won Worst Picture because this was the same year
Rain Man was favored to win Best Picture.
and the voters must have thought it would be funny to make the Best and Worst Picture
be Tom Cruise movies.
Ok, so, before making this video, I hadn't watched any Star Trek at all.
But because I'm committed to my craft, I went ahead and watched
all 6 of the original movies
just so I could understand why this one is considered the worst.
and after all that, I—
Yeah. I get it now.
It's not a horrible movie but especially compared to the previous films in the series,
Star Trek V is pretty bleh.
Pretty much everything went wrong behind the scenes.
William Shatner directed it with no prior directing experience.
Nobody could agree on anything during the writing process,
There was a writers' strike.
Then a Teamsters strike.
They shot a lot of the movie in the Mojave Desert,
which is just as miserable as it sounds.
and after filming was done, they only had 3 months to make the special effects,
and all the best effects technicians in Hollywood were busy working on
Indiana Jones 3 and Ghostbusters II at the time.
Do I think this movie deserved Worst Picture? No.
It does some wacky things like introduce Spock's long-lost brother
that he never mentioned before
Or show Kirk getting mauled by a cat woman.
but overall I really don't think it's that bad
Though to be honest
I'm not a Trekkie who had to see
Captain Kirk show up on the Enterprise in a "Go climb a rock t-shirt"
So…
I mean…is that-is that bad?
I-I actually don't know.
Can someone in the comments tell me if i'm, if that's like a bad,
if that's not in character?
I actually don't know if I should be mad at this or not?
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was a
"comedy" starring Andrew Dice Clay.
If you don't know who Andrew Dice Clay is,
he was a comedian most active in the late 80s and early 90s
who was known for his character the Dice Man,
which was basically a cover for him to tell the most offensive jokes he possibly could.
And they're always on parade.
They march up and down the street with t-shirts and flags
'I want money for AIDS disease.' Beautiful.
I want money for a new fucking car, I ain't marching up and down the street
Get a job, butt slammer.
[Evasive] The movie itself is about a detective, I guess,
I dunno, it's just not funny at all.
honestly I kept going to my phone the whole time because I was just so bored.
- I got something serious to discuss.
Yeah, what is it, premature ejaculation? (laughing)
like that time we were at her parents' wedding anniversary,
and I told that joke,
'What's the definition of vagina?
The box the peanuts comes in!' (laugh)
Gilbert Godfrey plays the only funny character in the movie
but he dies like 25 minutes in and the rest is just a boring mess
that's impossible to follow.
The director Renny Harlin was also working on Die Hard 2 at the time
which ended up coming out in theaters at the exact same time as Ford Fairlane
and when you look at the money comparison between the two movies.
Yeah, it's pretty obvious which movie he cared about more.
Clint Eastwood.
I fucked him. Oh!
[Evasive] 1990 was another tie
with Ford Fairlane tieing with another movie
from unapologetic pepophile John Derek.
In this one, Bo Derek plays a woman married to a much older man
and when the older man dies, his ghost takes up residence in her head
and goads her into murdering a man
so he can possess his body and have sex with her again.
It's a supernatural dirty old man movie
where John Derek fantasizes about
living rent-free in Bo Derek's head after he dies.
Plus this ended up being his last movie.
It would be poetic if it wasn't so disgusting.
Bo was very very young. Linda was very young…
not as young as urcela
I guess I just meet them young,
before they're wise enough to know I'm not the guy.
Anyway the acting is bad, the story is bad,
the visuals are bad,
but the real cherry on top here is: this movie
was the first film appearance of Donald Trump.
No joke, Trump's first movie was made by a pedophile.
He even does a little duck face in it, look at him.
Poetic.
Just watch this clip.
Woah!
Happy sailing..
Oh no! How am I driving? 1-800-I'm gonna-fucking-die!"
[Evasive] Bruce Willis plays a master burglar fresh out of prison
who was blackmailed into stealing some art
but it's all part of a conspiracy to build a secret machine
invented by Leonardo Da Vinci that can turn lead into gold.
At this point in his career, Bruce Willis was mainly known for Die Hard 1 and 2,
and was looking to branch out with Hudson Hawk.
but apparently he couldn't decide what he wanted it to be.
In an interview, one of the writers later said:
I started to know we were in trouble
when Joel and Bruce would say during filming
You know what this is? This is a Pink Panther movie.
The next day they'd say
You know what this is? This is an American James Bond movie.
Then it would be: you know what this is This is North by Northwest.
I even remember someone saying:
You know what this is? This is Casino Royale.
Eventually I realized, that if every day they were saying it was something different
by the time we got to the editing room, we were going to be in trouble.
So yeah, the final product is all over the place.
But the movie has developed a bit of a cult following over the years
just because it's so…so silly
(screaming)
- Honey? - (screaming)
Ball ball?
Woof!
(dog screaming)
Here's another movie that's really not that bad.
It's a World War II spy movie where Melanie Griffith is a half Jewish woman
with no spy experience who signs herself up to be a spy in Berlin
because she wants to prove herself and save her Jewish cousins who are in hiding.
Michael Douglas plays another spy
and pre-Schindler's List Liam Neeson plays a Nazi officer.
Most of the complaints about the movie were aimed at
how unbelievable Melanie Griffith is as a spy
because she is really bad at her job.
Like "spilling soup on Liam Neeson and taking the German kids she's nannying
to the building her cousins are hiding in" kind of bad
But overall it's not that awful of a movie
because the plot holes and writing problems
are balanced out by a good soundtrack and good cinematography
It's just average.
Not bad enough to be memorable
but not good enough that you'd ever watch it again.
basically the cinematic equivalent of eating at Denny's.
I think 1992 was just a slow year for bad movies in general.
That same year they also nominated Newsies for Worst Picture
and Danny DeVito for Worst Supporting Actor
like…what? Why? How?
What?
Once again, this is a movie that's not that bad.
It's a drama where Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore
play a financially struggling married couple in Vegas
and Robert Redford is a filthy rich guy
who offers the couple 1 million dollars
for a 1 night stand with Demi Moore.
Honestly, it's fine.
It takes itself very seriously and it's vaguely misogynistic at points.
Also it's completely unbelievable that a man who looks like Robert Redford
would ever feel the need to pay a million dollars
to sleep with someone
But in the context of the movie it all works.
definitely not the worst movie of the year.
that's for sure
I mean You're telling me that Indecent Proposal
won Worst Picture but Mr. Nanny wasn't even nominated?
Razzie voters were asleep at the wheel this year.
In this one Bruce Willis plays a psychologist who can't see the color red
who gets wrapped up in a murder after his colleague
gets killed Assassin's Creed-style
and he suspects it was someone in his therapy group.
I'm so confused why this was even nominated for Worst Picture
because it really isn't a bad movie at all.
It's surreal and weird, sure, but in a Twin Peaks type of way
where it's still unsettling and fun to watch.
Definitely a 6.5 out of 10 movie for me.
Maybe a 7 out of 10 I dunno.
this is another one that became a cult hit after it was released on home video
Partly because of this crazy sex scene in a pool that everybody wanted to see
It was even streaming on Criterion Channel at one point
which basically means that it's certified art.
That's all I have to say.
I dunno guys, some of these 90s movies just aren't bad enough to complain about.
There's a lot to be said about Showgirls.
First of all, Director Paul Verhoeven
was the first to accept his Razzie award in person.
And that's kind of funny.
[Paul] And I'm very happy because it was much better, much more fun
than reading the reviews in September. Thank you so much.
(clapping, cheering)
Second of all, Showgirls isn't bad.
It's actually a great movie, in my opinion, and a lot of people agree.
It is a wild movie about the world of high budget Las Vegas strip shows
and Obviously with subject matter like that
you're going to view it very differently
depending on your gender and sexuality.
But regardless of what kind of person you are
the experience of watching this movie is an absolute rollercoaster.
One. Two. Three.
Thrust it. Thrust it. thrust it. Thrust it!
Come on, thrust it.
But for as over the top as this movie is it's also pretty true to life.
During his research, writer Joe Eszterhas interviewed
over two hundred strippers in Las Vegas
and the result was a shockingly straightforward depiction
of the lives of high profile sex workers and performers
And a biting satire against show business in general.
Take a look at these tits.
What are these, watermelons?
This is a stage, babe, it's not a patch.
See ya.
Your ears are sticking out. They are.
Come back and see me when you get em fixed.
See ya.
Can you spell MGM backwards? I bet you can't.
- MGM. - I'm impressed.
Come back when you fuck some of those baby fat off.
Now in today's era of gritty HBO dramas, none of this is that shocking
but in 1995 this was next level stuff.
Plus with the subject matter, this movie has a lot of nudity.
It was rated NC-17 in America
and to date it is the only NC-17 movie ever given a wide release in theaters.
It was so explicit and controversial
that MGM had to hire security at every movie theater in America
just to make sure nobody under the age of 18 snuck into the theater.
The movie lost millions of dollars
and to this day, no studio has ever dared
to try and release an NC-17 movie in theaters again.
If this sounds interesting to you, I actually recommend giving this movie a watch
because I can't really do it justice with just words alone.
Just know what you're getting
into before you turn it on
because this movie is every bit as traumatic as it is glamorous
This movie is like if showgirls
was actually bad
Demi Moore plays an FBI agent
who looses her daughter in a custody battle and becomes a stripper in florida
at a place called the eager beaver
to pay for a court appeal
she basically girl bosses being a stripper
not in a nuance way like showgirls though
but in a stupid way that takes itself too seriously
and is mostly just boring and not believable at all
despite the bad reviews the movie ended up being a huge success
The director, writer, producer Andrew Bergman
basically quit holly wood after this movie
I'm pretty sure what happened is once he got Demi Moore to agree to go topless
he just phoned in the rest of the movie because clearly the audiences
who went to see this weren't watching it for the plot
The post man takes place in a distant future year of 2013
after much of humanity has been wiped out by the plague
Kevin Costner who also directed the movie stars as a traveling shakespeare performer
that's conscripted to caesar's legion but he escapes and finds an old mail bag
full of mail and pretends to be a mail man so he can get food
and accidently restarts the us postal service in the process
also it's almost 3 hours long
honestly as far as post apocalyptic adventures go, this one isn't that bad
it's about the same level of quality as water world actually
but the fact that it was a 3 hour long kevin costner vanity project
released just a week after titanic made it a very easy target for critiques
what is Kevin Costner up to these days anyway
typing on computer
I mean hey, good luck Kevin
If you aren't familiar
The name Alan Smithee is a fake name the directors guild of america came up with in 1968
that directors who wanted to take their name off a movie, were required to use instead
and this movie caused such a headache that the directors guild had to
officially stop allowing the use of the Alan Smithee name in movies
OK, so, this movie was written by Joe Eszterhas and directed by Arthur Hiller
It's a mockumentary about a guy who's name is actually Alan Smithee
who directs an action movie but he hates the finished product
so he steals the film reels and holds them ransom
because he wasn't allowed to take his name of it
now behind the scenes in real life Joe Eszterhas was in charge of
cutting burn hollywood burn and when Arthur Hillers saw the final version
he hated it so much he had his name taken off the movie
but this of course created confusion because this was a movie
about Alan Smithee and the poster said it was directed by Alan Smithee
which you would assume was just a joke but no, the director actually had his name
taken off the movie
it would take me so long to explain everything that's wrong
with this movies so let me just sum it up in four words
there is way too many characters the movie jumps all over the place
Harvey weinstein is in it
eww sound effect
there's lots of not funny parts where the camera freeze frames
and there's a wall of text on screen
I'm guessing what happened is they filmed all these scenes separately
and thought they were hilarious on set but when they got to the editing room
they realized they had nothing to work with so Joe Eszterhas tried to
salvage it by adding a bunch of text edit jokes
which actually made the movie worse
I have no proof of this of course but it seems right to me
I mean I'd probably do the same thing in that situation
ok so this is a western steampunk fusion movie starring the fresh prince
and the guy who plays Mr. Fish odor in bob's burgers
as cowboy government agents hunt down an evil ex confederate officer with no legs
who kidnapped president Ulysses S Grant with a giant robot spider
that's what this movie is
this movie is ridiculous
I don't know what the executives at warner brothers were snorting in the board room
when they decided to spend over $170 on a movie where cowboy Will Smith
fights a huge mecha-spider
but thank god they did because Will Smith turned down playing Neo in the matrix to do this movie
and I want you to imagine now what it would be like if Will Smith played Neo in the matrix
Evasive laughs
[Will Smith] I probably would have messed the matrix up. I wouldv'e ruined it
so I did y'all a favor
this might not be a good movie but oh my god it's so funny
plus the theme song is pretty fire
"if I may quote one of the great gangster rappers William Will Smith
wicky wild wild wicky wicky wild wicky wild wicky wicky wild wild wild west
wicky wild wicky wicky wild wild west
do you find those lyrics inspiring?
[person 1] I mean, I-I...
battlefield earth is an action sci-fi movie based on a novel written by L. Ron Hubbard
the founder of scientology
which he wrote in 1982 when he was in hiding to avoid going to prison
for his numerous crimes
It's about a distant future world where humanity has been enslaved
by evil aliens called the Psychlos which are a very obvious metaphor
for L. Ron Hubbard's vitriolic hate of psychiatrists
John Travolta who plays the evil alien leader named Terl
and has been a scientologist since 1975 is directly responsible for this movie existing
the production company that took it on was later found to have defrauded investers
out of $31 million by over reporting production costs causing a law-suit
that forced the company to go bankrupt and shut down in 2007
on top of that the movie was a massive financial flop not just because the movie
and it's John Travolta action figures were an obvious scientology recruitment tactic
but because the movie itself was a visual nightmare
the special effects are ugly the costumes are disgusting
and the whole movie was filmed
with these crooked angles that changed multiple times a scene
which gave a bunch of people motion sickness
it's a realy infamously bad movie that's been covered by dozens of
other youtube channels over the years
so if you want more information on it go watch one of those videos
just don't watch the movie itself because it will do nothing but make you nauseous
and waste 2 hours of your time
I'm serious you guys don't do it
I'm sorry you guys
conflict of interest
I can't talk about Freddy got fingered
one of my friends and I watched this movie like 4x during quarantine and we
kind of bonded over it
and now this movie has a special place in my heart
so I made Nicky watch it instead because shes never seen it before
and here she is now
[Nicky} where the hell do I even begin with this movie
part of me thinks this movie is some kind of deep anti comedy meant to saterize
the other gross out comedies that were popular in the early 2000s
and the other part of me thinks that maybe it means nothing at all
I mean any normal human being will read a title like Freddy got fingered
and run away in the opposite direction
because what the fuck is that suppose to mean
but to put it simply this movie is about a 28yr old man
his name is Gord and he moves to LA to be a cheese worker
and also to pursue his dreams of being a professional animator
seems pretty simple right? seems pretty cut and dry
but that's where you'd be wrong because so very many things happen
in this movie that are beyond human explanation
just to name a few Tom Green jerks off a horse
he swings a baby around by it's umbilical cord
Tom Green walks around in a deer carcass and he goes scuba diving in his own toilet
[movie dialogue] get out of the toilet. get out of that toilet!
but at the risk of sounding clinically insane and demented
there are moments in this movie that I find kind of relatable
like this one where the CEO of an animation company tells
Gord that he doesn't like his drawings
"it sucks"
and so he immediatly sticks a gun in his mouth and starts screaming
and what makes this even funnier is the fact that once he recieves
validation, he takes the gun out of his mouth and acts like none of that ever happened at all
if you're mentally ill and make art this is the film for you
and this movie surprised me in so many different ways for one, it made me laugh
way more than I anticipated
"can't you see we're both a couple of stupid idiots
[female] Gord [Gord] Gord, Gordy
and it was all so like weirdly based at times and I say weirdly because
the early 2000s was just like a diragatory fever dream
it was like running through the perfume department in spongebob
but the perfume was slurs
so like Gord ends up asking out this nurse named Betty
and she says yes but afterwards he finds out that she's in a wheelchair and at first
I'm was like oh shit! like it's about to get really ableist in here
I was truly prepared for the worst but my expectations were completely subvirted
when Betty ended up not only being the smartest person in this whole movie
but her and Gord remain in a relationship for the rest of the film
"have a bag of jewels for you they're jewels Betty, they're jewels"
another interesting thing to me is that betty constantly wants to give Gord
a blow job. Hear me out dude like, she actually asks him this
so many times in the movie that it comes off as very obviously satirical
and again my expectations were subverted by Gord being the one that repeatedly asks
if they can just go out on a date
This could be a play on the trope of male protaganist in comedy especially
being obssesed with sex and not only that but woman
being ultra sexualized in these movies
not all the subversion in this movie is good though necessarily
I mean if you were wondering how the movie got its title
I shit you not about 50mins into the film
Gord frames his dad for fingering his brother
"at least I don't touch Freddy" "he fingers him"
his brother who is like 25 and doesn't even live with them
"he's a molester" "he's a chiiiild molester"
but CPS literally goes to his apartment and takes him to the molestation hospital
is this shocking? yes
I don't know if it's shocking compared to the other
things that happen in this movie
is it in poor taste? like, uhhhh, maybe
but anyways this whole framing of the fingering is the cannon event
that leads to the finale of the film
when Gord pranks his dad by abducting him in the middle of the night
and taking him to pakistan
"you're fucking dead"
they could write books and novels and college thesis about everything
else that happens in-between then and the ending
but just know that this movie ends with Gord and his dad being covered
in elephant c**
speaking of which
there's an elephant in this room and the elephant is that I actually kind of like this movie
also the elephant is cumming
is that so wrong? and is it so wrong that maybe kind of
I might be attracted to Tom Green in this movie? is it maybe ok if I think
he might be the Pete Davidson of the 90s
you know what, shut up as far as career ruining films go
Tom Green took the failure of Freddie very very well. He even showed up to accept
his golden razzie he rolled out his own red carpet too
celebrate your successes and your failures
[evasive] a remake of an italian film from 1974
swept away is a movie where Madonna plays the dumbest most unlikable rich woman
in the world
who gets marooned on an island with an italian sailor who hates her
and sexually assaults her. And then 3 mins after that
there's a time skip and suddenly they're in love
its a nasty nasty nasty movie and I don't even want to talk about it
it was so bad it caused Madonna to give up on acting entirely
it's a disaster. Absolute agony to watch
especially when you consider that the movie was directed by Madonna's then husband Guy Ritchie
Madonna later divorced Guy Ritchie in 2008 but in my opinion queen should've
divorced Guy Ritchie on the spot for even suggesting this movie
[Madonna] it was rough. There was nothing glamorous about it and you were really mean to me
[Guy] Mrs. Ritchie [Madonna] I just want to slap you on camera
[Guy] but why Mrs. Ritchie
[Madonna] for all those times you let adriano slap me and you never yelled cut
and all those times they threw octopuses on me and all those times you made me sit
in the freezing cold ice water and those times you made me run
down the sand dune and all those times you ate my food and you didn't pay me
and you never said thank you
Madonna cries and leaves
I'm not going to lie
I was riding the high of actually enjoying Freddie got fingered
when Gigli came in and literally snuffed the life out of me
Gigle is a movie
it's about a mobster names Gigli played by Benjamin, Benny boy Affleck
and much like this review on letter box, I too hope Gigli killed himself
because not only does he abduct a mentally challenged teenager
and abuse him while holding him for ransom
he's also just cringe unforgivably so
Jaylo was also in this movie unfortunately
and she plays this other mobster or mobsteret
who is suppose to help him take care of this mentally disabled kid
and she also just happens to be a lesbian
or should I say the least convincing lesbian in film history
no lesbians were consulted in the making of this movie
because what the fuck is this
you may not be able to tell because this is the weirdest way
i've ever heard anyone describe it but she's talking about eating pussy here
I really don't know who like told Jaylo or whoever wrote this script that
lesbians call that turkey time but whoever it was
deserves to be taken out behind a barn and shot
anyways though of course Gigli doesn't respect her sexuality
and he whines and complains throughout the whole movie
about oooh, it's not fair that she's like a lesbian but i'm like attracted to her
and I want to be with her
and after enough complaining ricky starts doing deeds with him
and its not like this is realistic at all in any way
but in the hypothetical scenario where for some reason a lesbian had sex
with a guy. It would not be with this guy
he's always like licking his teeth and shit
but luckily there's not just lesbian cringe
there's also plenty of hetero sexual cringe
and gay cringe
and despite this movie literally being about mobsters
nothing mobster related really happens in this movie
until like the last 30 mins where for some reason Al Pacino is here
I'm sure this is Al Pocinos favorite role of all time
right up there next to jack and jill
but to give it to you straight
the movie ends with Gigli leaving the mentally disabled kid
on a random beach with a cast of baywatch
and it's literally played out like its suppose to be this inspirational thing
like a tear jerker or something
meanwhile Gigli and Ricky ride off into the sunset
just as she's telling him that he should wear some makeup
do not watch this movie
you will get a UTI or that other thing
[evasive] ok first of all this movie is catwoman in name only
despite being a DC comics movie the catwoman in this movie
has pretty much nothing to do with the catwoman from batman
this character has a different name lives in a different city
and gets her cat super powers from a magic cat burping in her mouth
it's just so stupid it's actually really fun to watch
especially the CGI Halle Berry during the action scenes it's so funny
as you might expect this movie bombed hard probably because they put it out in
theaters around the same time as spider man 2
its a pretty infamous superhero movie now
and the director Pitof was basically laughed out of hollywood
never directed a movie again
but Halle Berry embraced this movie was a flop
and she even showed up in person to accept her Razzie award
dirty love is a
"comedy"
created by Melissa McCarthy's cousin
notorious anti vaccer and masked singer judge Jenny McCarthy
she stars as a woman who gets dumped by her boyfriend and her life falls apart
its really unhinged but not in a funny kind of way
more of a i'm bored and uncomfortable and I want to leave the room kind of way
I actually had a hard time finding clips from this movie online
because its pretty obscure and nobody likes it
its mostly badly delivered jokes and gross out humor with a feminine spin
and by feminine spin I of course mean period jokes like this scene where a
bleeding Jenny McCarthy goes to the grocery store in a white skirt
and no underwear and almost bleeds out on the floor
you know, relatable comedy for women
just girly thing #justgirlythings
just girly things
it's a girly thing so you wouldn't understand boys
it's a girly thing
#justgirlythings it's a girly thing
#justgirlythings
so this is a sequel to basic instincts
an erotic murder mystery thriller from the early 90s
its maybe best remembered today for the scene where newman from Seinfeld
sees Sharon Stones' bare uncensored tits in an interrogation room
the original was nominated for a few razzies in its day but it was a
massive box office hit
and is today remembered as a pretty solid Neo Noir thriller
now basic instinct 2 on the other hand only exists because Sharon Stone
was promised $14 million to star in the movie
and when the producers tried to cancel it she sued them to force them to make it
its kind of hard to talk about this movie without spoiling a bit of the original
but I will say that overall I didn't hate this movie
but I also barely remember anything about the plot and I only saw it a couple months ago
it rehashes a lot of the same story, beats and plot points as the original
just not as good
would I call it a terrible movie? no, not really
but compared to the original its pretty bland and forgettable
but that's what happens when your only reason for
making a movie is to avoid a massive lawsuit
got to love showbiz baby
I know who killed me is a horror movie starring Lindsay Lohan as a girl
who was kidnapped by a serial killer
but survives and wakes up in a hospital saying shes someone else
this movie was released on july 27, 2007 right at the peak of the tabloid frenzy
about Lindsay Lohan and her struggles with alcohol and drug addiction
there was a lot of attention on the movie while it was filming
especially because Lohan checked into rehab the first time a month into production
the film set was so swarmed with paparazzi that some of them even showed up in
the background of a few shots in the movie
then a couple months after filming wrapped Lohan was arrested for drunk driving
then on July 24th, just 3 days before the movie was released
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving again and couldn't even attend the premier
all of this negative media attention made Lindsay Lohan enemy #1 in hollywood
critics eviscerated this movie
but in the years since its release this film has become a bit of a
cult classic with horror movie fans
and its been screened in theaters many times over the last decade
ive seen a lot of people in line compared to giallo movies, an itallian film genre
popular in the 60s and 70s that mixed elements of murder mysteries, slashers, and erotica
the influence of giallo is definitely present here
its a stylish weird thriller and Lohans background made her kind of perfect for the role
as the main character quickly transforms from a sweet highschool girl
into a deeply traumatized woman with a robotic hand
its definitely not for everyone myself included
but if you're into weird gory horror movies there's a lot to vibe with here
its a much better movie than norbit that's for sure
I mean have you ever seen norbit
the love guru is a movie written by, produced by, and starring Mike Meyers
that's mostly remembered today as the movie that completely tanked his career
and caused him to step away from hollywood for 8 years
critics and audiences both hated it
with critics calling it lazy, immature, mindless, pitiable, insulting, painful
gross, contemptuous, racist, and unlikable among many other things
but don't take their word for it take my word for it
I don't really have any other words for it that pretty much sums it up
anyway here's a scene that they used in the trailer
ohhh, how did you get there?
this little guy scared the crap out of me
think i'm going to have to do a panty check, I might have some
monkey monsters back there
who is this prick
well, how do you do, shrimp?
what'd you call me
im sorry, i didn't catch your gnome name!
you are a midget
so the plot of this movie is Mike Meyers plays this self help guru
named maurice Pitka who was raised in india
wears a chastity belt and dreams of being on Oprah
he's hired by the Toronto maple leafs to help their star player
get back together with his wife
because he is the love guru therefore only he can save their marriage
its basically a one note movie that feels like it was written by a 10yr old boy
every scene goes on for way too long
Mike Meyers keeps laughing at his own jokes and pretty much every line is about
poop, pee, farts, balls or dicks
with many of the characters names being dick jokes
we got tugginmypudha, coach cherkov, Le Coq dick pants
starts laughing
its not funny that John Olivers named Dick Pants
starts laughing again its not...
Ok, ill be the first to say that I don't think any of the transformers movies
are particularly good
that being said, transformers revenge of the fallen is definitely
the worst one
if only for how offensive and annoying it is
pretty much every transformer introduced in this movie either talks with a racist accent
or the most annoying cartoon voice imaginable and when it isn't being annoying or racist
its doing shit like this
sighs deeply
like is it any wonder Megan Fox quit the series after this
sadly though this movie ended up making $836 million which was about
$100 million more than up made that same year
what can I even say about this movie that hasn't been said a thousand times already
this live action trash fire directed by M Night Shyamalan
attempted to condense the first season of an amazing animated tv show
into a 90 min CGI filled mess
maybe if you watched this never having seen the original series it's just another
lame hollywood fantasy action movie but for fans of the series this was offensively bad
the creators of the show were not allowed to give any input on the movies development
but loving characters were made one dimensional and pointless
major plot points were skipped over characters names are pronounced wrong
like how do you even screw that up
this movie made a lot of money but it was so hated by audiences
that paramount must have known they couldn't fool people twice and cancelled plans
to adapt the other two seasons
effectively sinking the career of the kid who played Aang before it even began
it's just sad
the whole movie is a sad waste of source material you'd probably have a better time playing the
official last airbender Wii game then you would watching this movie
ok maybe not
somber music playing
alright razzies respectfully, what the fuck
listen, I wouldn't call myself a twilight fan i've never read the books and didn't watch
the movies until recently but even I know the last movie of the twilight series isn't
that bad a movie
its ridiculous sure but out of all the movies in the series it's definitely the most exciting
and most interesting entry aside from the first one
obviously they gave it worst picture to sort of dig at the entire series
since none of the others have won worst picture before but come on
breaking dawn part 2 is fun
its got a big fight scene on a frozen lake its got a girl named renesmee
it concludes one of the most iconic and stupid blockbuster movie series of all time
it is so entertaining and over the top that even if you hate twilight and everything about it
you cant tell me that this movie is worst than the Adam Sandler movie where
he shows a 13yr old impregnating his teacher
you can't tell me that
because you'd be wrong
let me start this one off by showing you a list of people who were involved in this movie
and that's not even all of them
movie 43 is a compilation of raunchy comedy sketches
each directed by different people
made by an impossibly cheap budget of $6 million
this thing took 3 whole years to film because the producers worked around
actors schedules to maximize how many famous people could show up in this
the sketches themselves are a relentless onslaught of dirty shock humor
there's one where Hugh Jackman has balls on his face
there's one where Chloe Grace Moretz smears period blood on the wall
there's one where a horny cat pisses on elizabeth banks
there's one where Karen Culkin says he wants to leave a hickey on Emma Stones' vagina
my personal favorite is where Anna Faris asks Chris Prat to poop on her
during sex so he takes some poop viagra and then gets hit by a car
if you're feeling sadistic throw this on at your next bad movie night with friends
its got a little something for everyone
so if you're unfamiliar Kirk Cameron was a child actor in the 80s
who took a hard right turn into evangelical christianity
and has since appeared in almost exclusively low budget christian movies and radio programs
today he is mostly know for his inflammatory publicity stunts
like in 2020 when he organized massive caroling events in LA to protest covid restrictions
which he called communism disguised as public health
you know the type he's a nutcase
and his movie had been dumped on a hundred times by youtubers already
because for awhile this was the lowest rated movie in IMDB
with an average rating of 1.3/10
which he claimed was a result of an atheist conspiracy on reddit
basically the whole movie takes place in one house
and almost every scene is him using weird circular reasoning to explain
how non christian christmas traditions had actually been christian all along
like how christmas trees were gods idea because god created trees
or how the holiday isn't actually materialistic because the ability to buy gifts
is gods gift to humanity
it's just boring
it's a very boring movie where nothing happens and everyone is just sitting
or standing around not doing anything
the only remotely entertaining part of the whole movie is when all the extras
have an epic dance party at the end
fant 4 stic is a classic case of too many people having their hands on the same movie
the writers disagree on everything
the director Josh Tranks slept with a loaded gun on him because he got death threats
for casting Michael B Jordan
fox executives had whole scenes cut out and other scenes re-shot without Tranks
approval because they thought his version was too dark
Trank also put out a tweet right before the movie came out basically disowning it
the end result of all of this was an ugly boring mess of a movie
where there's no real stakes or tension anywhere
they don't even become superheros until halfway through the movie
and most of the time they're just standing around talking and not doing anything
you can see the remnants of a decent movie in here
like in the scene where Miles Teller wakes up on a hospital bed
looking like Lanky Kong
but we'll never know what the movie was suppose to be because nobody cares
there's nobody out there saying #releasethetrankcut
so 2015 was another tie with 50 shades of grey also being awarded worst picture
this is another movie where im like
what can I possibly say about this that hasn't been said already
its based on an erotic novel that started out as a twilight fan fiction
the stars have no chemistry and nothing about their relationship is believable
the movie spawned that love me like you do song
that has haunted retail workers for almost a decade now
it's just a bad movie it's boring and bad
and it made over $500 million
so rather than repeat the same things a hundred other youtubers have said
i'll just leave you with a little mental image
see this movie came out on valentines day 2015
I want you to imagine for a second all the thousand of couples who went to see this
on valentines day
I want you to visualize Kaylyynn and Greg from sugar land texas who went
to see this at the local AMC on valentines day
I want you to visualize Kaylyynn giving Greg a dry handjob in the back of the theatre
40 mins into the movie
I want you to visualize them going to applebees after
to eat a slightly burnt chicken breast and some unseasoned broccoli
I want you to visualize
if you don't know already Dinesh D'Souza is a far right political commentator
who has been releasing propaganda films every year since 2012
he also pleaded guilty to campaign finance fraud in 2014
and was sentenced 5 years probation during which he made Hillary's america
the secret history of the democratic party
released in the summer of 2016 hillarys americas a movie that claims
its a documentary but aside from a few news clips and scripted sounding interviews
much of the movie is either historical reenactments or just Souza talking to
terrible actors trying to pass it off as documentary footage
the movie opens with D' Souza being sentenced for fraud
which he claims was a democratic conspiracy to shut him up
and from there he goes to prison and starts interviewing other prisoners about how
gangs work
later on he visits the democrat national headquarters and it's all done up to look
like a high tech museum of the glory of the democratic party
and then he sneaks into the restricted part of the building
and breaks into the secret archives to reveal the secret information
that is literally just in the curriculum in 8th US history
like hey guys, did you know that most of the slave owners in the civil war were democrats
wow isn't that crazy? how come nobody's talking about this
the sad truth is this movie sold $13 million worth of tickets when it came out
which means that hundreds of thousands of very gullible americans saw this in theatres
and many probably dragged their impressionable kids with them
when all those kids wanted to do was play the new pokemon go game that just came out
its depressing to think about 2016 was a very dark time
hey guys im sorry
I can't talk about the emoji movie
you see, on a hot summer day in 2017 I actually saw the emoji movie in theatres
in a room full of screaming sugar'd up children
and if you think this movie looks bad enough on its own
try watching it completely sober while a 7yr old kicks the back of your chair the whole time
I just can't relive the trauma of that day again so I passed this one off to trash guy
[trash guy] young junko he was the best lawyer who ever lived
but decidingly the hammer of justice made him his walnut
and under the pressure he cracked
by his side he had only left this note
sad face, sad face, cry face, trash can, water gun, squirt, squirt, sad face
*watch The Emoji Movie in theaters July 28 2017 for more info
Emoji movie is like the cinematic equivalent of seeing an AD for Cricket wireless
on the side of the bus it's the same artistic merit
its hard to not look at this movie without thinking of the evolution of 3D animation
as a craft in the last 4 years
the way that the medium improved over time not just in terms of vitality
but the heart felt boundary pushing storytelling that made animated characters
come across as more tangible
in exploring the worlds they inhabited in a serel way
and all that, all that led to this a movie about emojis
on a kids cellphone its so in personable
its not like toy story where Andy and the toys have a clear relationship
in emoji land you get scanned whenever the kid picks you for a text message
like why is this kid only texting in emojis
he's like a little, a little man slut
the whole plot being he wants to text a girl in his class and that's it
that's it. He has no connection to these main essential characters
they're just a button on his phone its so pointless
the worlds not interesting at all
the main character gene is suppose to be the meh emoji but he's malfunctioning
so he goes on a quest with hand emoji and jailbreak
an elite emo hacker girl emoji with blue hair who can access the cloud and
see all the rule 34 of herself made over the years
its a movie made specifically for loud drunk parents circuit 2017 to take
their ipad kids to so they can run around the theatre and pick their ass
while they shove a bunch of ads at their eyeballs
you got whole scenes explaining candy crush and just dance
and spotify. its as shameless in corporate as an animated movie could possibly be
i'm sure some belligerently wasted parent in the theatre howled with laughter
when james corden hand emoji said bye Felisha
I wouldn't know though because the first time I saw emoji movie was at 2am
when I hacked amazon fire stick plugable into my friends CRT
that's just about the viewing experience this movie deserves
[evasive] but hey for as much as a soulless cash grab the emoji movie was
there is one good thing about it
and that's that it is inadvertently responsible for causing jordan peele to make get out
holmes and watson was the much anticipated reunion between
John C Reilly and Will Ferrell a duo that starred in a couple smash hit comedies in the mid 2000s
so when this movie released to atrocious reviews it left some people scratching their head
wondering how two guys who worked so well together before
could fuck up a movie this bad
and trust me no matter what your sense of humor is this movie is bad
its not funny at all. not even a little bit its just boring and hard to watch
the plots is impossible to follow the jokes fall flat on their face
and some of them were already dated by the time the movie came out
compared to teledated nights and step brothers
everything about their delivery here just feels off
and the blame probably rests with writer/ director Etan Cohen
not to be confused with Etan coen, no
Etan Coen is a writer that built a pretty decent resume in the 90s
and 2000s and decided to branch out into directing with get hard in 2015
holmes and watson was his 2nd attempt at directing and possibly his last because
the movie just barely didn't break even and since its release coen seems to have
returned exclusively to writing
my theory is the man didn't know how to direct Will Ferrell and John C Reilly
I think he just got them together and assumed their chemistry would be enough
to carry the movie because the whole thing just feels like he dressed them up in
victorian era cloths and said just do whatever you want
we will edit it down to just the funny parts
and then surprise none of it was funny
cats is a hilarious movie
it is so funny for all the wrong reasons I saw this in theatres when it came out
after eating a couple of very powerful weed gummies and it is
an experience I will remember for the rest of my life
its unlike any other movie ever made it really is
released at the tail end of 2019 cats was an act of pure huberous
from director Tom Hooper who was well known in hollywood at this point for directing
the kings speech, les miserables, and the danish girl
while I guess tommy boy got pretty full of himself after all those award winners
because for his next project he proceeded to blow $100 million on a film adaptation
of cats the musical
behind the scenes hooper rushed the movie out the door to release in time for christmas
and in the process treated the animators like complete shit
anonymous sources later reported that hooper knew nothing about animation
made them work 90 hour weeks for months and was horrible, disrespectful, demeaning
and condescending toward everyone
one source said that hooper talked to the animators like they were garbage and
even compared their time working on cats to slavery
its been a few years now since cats
released and Tom Hooper hasn't been heard from since
so I think its safe to assume those allegations were completely true
and he wont be making a comeback anytime soon
anyway at this point I'd like to play you a song
from the movie but youtube will probably demonetize me if I did that so instead i'm
going to play you a public service announcement from the 80s
so absolute proof is not a movie
for the first time in razzie history the razzies gave worst picture to something
that was not a movie
this is a 2 hour long special that aired on one american news in February 2021
where Mike Lindell the my pillow guy bought air time to prove that
2020 election was hacked by china using statistics that were proven
to be fake and interviewing experts that don't have any real credentials
this special was also uploaded on youtube but was quickly taken down for spreading
false information. I was hoping it would be at least unintentionally funny
but it was just really boring to watch
its mostly the my pillow guy saying "wow"
talking about voting data that was given to him by a fraudster
at one point he brings on a guy who claims he invented email
I don't know, I don't have anything to say about this one
it's not a movie
so this is also not a movie
Diana the musical is a broadway show that was planned to open March 31, 2020
obviously that didn't pan out but in the summer of 2020 they were able to get
the cast together to make a recording of the show with heavy covid restrictions
and no audience of course. Then for some bizarre reason they decided to release that
recording on netflix on october 2021 A whole month before the show
re opened on broadway. obviously this was the dumbest possible thing they could
have done because why would anyone who isn't a hardcore house winser fan
pay over $100 for a broadway ticket to this cringe fest when they could
watch the cringe fest for free at home
this show was a complete flop performing to a half full theater
every night for a month until the producers put the show out of its misery
and cancelled it on december 19
even if it hadn't been dumped on netflix before it opened it still probably would've
flopped because it's every bit tone deaf as the title suggest
the lyrics are like a 14yr old girl saw hamilton and newsies a few times
and was like OH MY GOD I can do that too
except it wasn't written by a 14yr old girl it was written by a tony award winning
play write in his 50s here's just an example of some of
the lyrics that this show throws at you
directed by eccentric author Andrew Dominik
blonde is the most recent worst picture winner as the time I made this video
and probably the most controversial winner since showgirls
its a nearly 3hr long mt-17 rated movie about the life of Marilyn Monroe
that takes extreme liberties with her life story because it's actually based on
a historical fiction novel by Joyce Carol
the reviews on this thing were all over the place.
when it premiered at the venice film festival it received a 14 min long
standing ovation and early critic reviews were extremely positive
then it released on netflix a few weeks later and the drama started
on the positive end the movie got praised for its stunning cinematography
and for ana de armas performance as monroe
on the negative end the movie was criticized for being exploitative, sexist and
dehumanizing and for brutally depicting Marilyn Monroe as a helpless girl
relentlessly abused by the hollywood system when her real life story was much more
complicated than that and it certainly doesn't help that Andrew Dominik
doubled down on it after the films release saying
[evasive reading]
I don't know about you guys
I could speak on this movie more but i don't want to
this is the last movie on this list and im tapping out
and I don't want to see any of you in the comments saying
"ugh, ava tapping out" "ava not giving her real opinion"
"you're being evasive, you cant do that"
thank god this is over
my eyeballs and my brain are absolutely fried right now
i don't have a single thought left in my head
but let me go ahead and summarize my thoughts by sorting all these movies
into 4 categories
these categories are boring bad, funny bad not that bad and crimes against humanity
and there we go
I am evasive, thank you to my patreon supporters.
thank you to all of you for watching
and thank you so much for my guests to contributing to this video
and hey, razzie people, if you're watching
Hiiiii
invite me to the show sometime maybe
honestly i think you guys are a little cringy and you've made some very
questionable decisions in the past but like i dont- I dont care
in the meantime i'm going to do literally anything else besides watching movies
you know what i'm going to do
i'm going to go look at some clouds oooh, and touch grass
ohhh, I cent remember the last time I touched grass
ok i'm going to go outside look at clouds and touch grass
ok, by guys